>

You can make up lies, but you can’t make up the truth. Lying in court under oath never works and only gets you in hot water.  This dope knows the truth yet wants to propagate this bullshit. Enough is enough.
For anyone who didn’t watch his “expert” testimony, he also admitted to speaking at one of Mike Lindell’s psycho events. >

Come on, don't sell him short like that. He didn't just admit to speaking at a Pillow Guy event, he said that Pillow Guy invited him to speak at the event and paid for his accommodations. >

Yeah we all know that pillow guys are all election conspiracy theorists, it could have been either one of them... (I'm sure there's another pillow guy right?   Right?) >

There’s that crazy leftist “Che Pillow Guy”. 
Oh, wait, no there isn’t!
Edit - in retrospect “Our Pillow Guy” would have been a funnier leftist pillow whacko. >

Man, years ago I saw a shirt of Che Guevara wearing a Bart Simpson shirt, and I didn’t by it. Regrets. >

Off to see if it exists today! >

“Facts?” Objection your honor, we have no facts. >

Ladies and gentlemen of this supposed jury, I have one final thing I want you to consider. Ladies and gentlemen, this is Mike Lindell. Mike Lindell is a moron who thinks he's from  planet Kashyyyk. But unfortunately Mike Lindell lives on the planet Earth. Now think about it; that does not make sense! >

Ah, the Chewbacca Defense. >

60% of the time it works 100% of the time. >

That doesn't make sense. >

It smells like Bigfoot’s dick! >

It smells like a turd covered in burnt hair! >

omfg in the media this was presented as printers being shut down and malfunctioning etc... but it was someone forgetting to uncheck "shrink to fit page" in a print dialog for a batch of ballots. >

And it had no impact >

Their claims never do. It’s performative art. >

which has proven quite lucrative for these so-called "experts". >

Sure, if you have credentials and say the exact opposite of your peers, which happens to be what those in power want to hear, you can make a good living. 
You have no morals, but you know, morals don’t pay the bills. >

I honestly can't figure out if these people like Lake and her dog and pony performers actually believe they are in the right or if they are all just acting like they believe. >

It likely starts as a con, but then the con consumes them at some point and they become the con. >

When the con starts paying off in attention and money, they can’t stop it without losing both so they continue it until they’re stopped. The Donald is the best example. >

Also if at some point you admit that you never really believed the pile of shit you were shoveling, to begin with you open yourself up to fraud charges. That's no bueno. >

Doesn't seem to hurt FOX News folks. >

They have the “it was all entertainment only” defense. >

Can contribute to some legal fund to make this defense available to me? >

I've only worked polls once, but what he described seems pretty routine. Mis-sized ballots rejected by tabulator, the voter sees it instantly and is given a new ballot while they put a tear in the first one so it won't be counted. Second ballot counted, "spoiled" ballot goes into a secure box and the number of spoiled ballots in the box must match the number your system said you printed. I was in New Mexico not Arizona but it seems to be the same process. >

Seams like the crux of his argument is that misprints wont happen without manual intervention, i.e. on purpose.   
Anyone who has been around computer equipment knows this is just utter BS, equipment like that, specially that dealing with paper can be subject to all sort of finickiness. Hopefully it wont happen too often, and it doe snot sound like it did, overall. >

Also, reading through his testimony (at least what I can find of it), it looks like he might be conflating two things: mis-sized paper and spoiled ballots. Spoiled ballots must be clearly marked as you get a second ballot, and the spoiled ballots are never counted. The mis-sized paper ballots may have been included with the provisional ballots and hand counted. I could see voters refusing to get a second ballot for whatever reason and when they are told to put them with provisional ballots, they claim that their votes were left out as provisional ballots in some counties and states are only counted if it would make a difference in the race. For my one day working last month, we had over 1,000 voters at my site and maybe a dozen provisional ballots (the presiding judge tracked them, I only printed out two the whole day). >

PC load letter?  What the fuck does that mean? >

I'm very surprised someone hasn't taken a bat to one of those machines yet. >

🎶 Damn, it feels good to be a gangsta >

The ability to be so smug and so dumb at the same time does take a lot of dedication. I'll give him that. >

It’s a pretty much all right wingers have at this point, that and Hunter’s dick pics. >

Love how he’s smacking his lips because he’s so shook >

Maybe it's tardive dyskinesia >

Maybe it’s maybeline >

Why not both? >

Only his hairdresser knows. >

That’s the same response my toddler gives me when I correct them… >


If you ask me a question and I don't like the answer, I won't answer, he said.

Wow. >

I always wondered how that worked on the witness stand, in a court of law. >

Well apparently if you're a Republican, it's fully allowed and there are zero consequences. >

"Facts? Who needs facts when you've got all these feelings!?" /s >

"It's Common Sense@!!!" >

haha that lawyer reeled him in so easily at the end there, destroying this whole "case" with one simple question. >

The truth is difficult for these people, as are yes/no answers. >

The hard part is the delicate balance between spewing his message and not perjuring himself.  He has to make sure he confidently gets his day in court to yell about his grievance, but also be careful to avoid saying words that could send him to jail for perjury.  That's really hard. >

The conservative bubble can't exist in a courtroom. >

...your mileage may vary.  See Florida, Supreme Court... >

Republicans really don't like facts. They're delicate snowflakes in that way. >

I love the incessant lip-licking that happens as soon as he gets really confused. >

dude comes off as an intoxicated halfwit. how do they think it's going to go, putting this chump up there as an expert witness?  I seriously could go right now to my local hayseed bar and find more credible election denialists. >

I think it's because outside of the courtroom, who is gonna sit there and debate with this guy about the finer points of voting tabulation?  Outside of court, he could give that sassy answer, cross his arms, turn his head, smack his lips, and the other person would end the conversation as they assume, rightfully or wrongfully, that they're arguing with a moron.  This guy was probably brimming with confidence that day, "about to make Arizona history" he thinks, but then he ran into the same issue that Giuliani and Friends ran into.  Once you're in court, these scenarios, hypotheses, what-ifs, won't someone think of children's do not matter.  Facts.  Yes and/or no.  And if you have no hard evidence then a good lawyer, like the one in the video apparently, will eviscerate you. >

One look at this "expert witness" and I can only imagine what a search of his browser history would yield. >


One look at this "expert witness" and I can only imagine what a search of his browser history would yield.

He looks like a 1990s ESPN correspondent went on a 4 day coke bender. >


He looks like a 1990s ESPN correspondent went on a 4 day coke bender.

The second part is implied by the first part. >

Username of the year award right here^ >

Thanks lol >

Oh my god this is fun. Watching this confidently incorrect person define their position lol >

I love the fucking desperation in the GQP.  They are pathetic >

As someone who will complete an advanced graduate degree in cybersecurity in the next six months from a fairly prestigious university, and who has a 20 year career in software security . . . I am baffled that anyone claiming to be an expert witness in cybersecurity couldn't think of a dozen reasons why/how someone might misprint something. I probably have to reprint 15% of everything I print because I routinely fuck it up.
I've tried googling and finding this dipshit's credentials but I can't actually seem to find anything. Anyone know this dude's history/education/relevant work experience that would qualify him as an expert witness? I mean . . . aside from being willing to testify dumb things for dumb people. >

My favorite part was him trying to confuse people with terms like “EMS” and “Shrink to fit.” but nobody gave a shit. 100% guarantee if you looked at his personal computer he has a ton of bloatware and malware and he definitely uses a yahoo email >

The attempts to confuse people with jargon should be called bloatware. >

How about dungware. >

Dungspeak. >

I’m hoping MAGA will just be a footnote in history and the republican party will quietly disappear. >

It’s all fun and games until they have to tell the truth. >

These people have no sense of embarrassment >

lake is so embarrassing. she lost the popularity contest and refused to believe she is just plain not wanted. she should slink away in shame >

I really wish this judge would end up hitting Lake with some penalty, like the courts did in Brazil when Bolsonaro and his party brought a frivolous election fraud claim.  They were ordered to pay $4 million US and now even Bolsonaro is being investigated for the false claims!
Here, we not only allow but encourage this outright bullshit.  Literally every filing of fraud has no evidence to back it up, and the only ones facing any repercussions are the attorneys being disbarred.  
If Lake can’t bring proof, make her pay all court costs and the state’s costs to defend, out of pocket!  Take her money, her house, her car!  
But we don’t do that to rich people in the US.  We let them get away with everything…. >

The county have asked for more sancti9ns against lake and her laywer. I saw her whining that lawyers were refusing to take this case because of fear of being sanctioned. >

Good!  When you lie and waste the court’s time with this shit you should be sanctioned, be made to pay the cost, etc.  There have been zero repercussions so far for this liars from 2020.  
Lies should have consequences.  We teach our kids that, after all. >

Doesn't one need to qualify as an expert to give expert testimony? >

This is a shit show from Kari Lake. They’re admitting in court that they have no formal election law training or understand Arizona’s process. >

This isn’t even half of it. Much of the video of this guy on the stand is watching the judge and others just absolutely rail this idiot. 
Fun fact: Kari Lake’s lawyers didn’t submit any evidence and were dumbfounded when asked where their evidence was or why it wasn’t filed in the right place. >

He would not say if any votes were lost for any reason.
He also wants millions of votes discarded for the rightfully elected governor. 
What an absolute scoundrel against democracy.    The GOP just keeps throwing credibility aside for crackpots like this rather than even acknowledging any real problems that exist. >

George won't let him tend the rabbits because he did a bad thing again. >

What the fuck are his eyebrows doing in that thumbnail >

those are caterpillars buddy >

Stan Sitwell vibes >

I hope you also carry around a spare bowl of CANDY BEANS >

I’m curious how much Mike Lindell paid him (interestingly the article doesn’t provide the answer to that question), but one thing is for sure— he didn’t spend a dime of it on getting a decent haircut. Looks like he goes to the same vision impaired barber as Kari Lake herself! >

Barracks haircut, and you can't convince me otherwise. >

Bizarre World. That's the best that can be said for the GOP in Arizona. >

Maybe the Arizona GOP could hire a third party firm to audit the results?   We could even let them pick the company.   They could go in like veritable cyber ninjas and root out that horrible, horrible fraud.  
Wait… >

It’s a shrink to fit consipiracy!  This is way bigger than you & me, it goes way beyond Maricopa county. This was orchestrated by HP & even Epson was in on it!  Big printer strikes again!!! >

There is a major printer company named Brother. The big brother joke was just sitting there for you.
Shame! >

Ernest Takes The Stand >

Of course he did; because the facts show that there was no intentional manipulation of the vote in AZ in 2022. Like it or not, Kari Lake lost, and these lawsuits are just a grift for her at this point. >

He is not going to let reality ruin his day. Lol >

“Some call it a Kaiser blade, I call it a slingblade…” >

"But I'm an expert - so I don't need facts because my ideas are all expert-y! You will listen to me and believe everything I say!" >

When the facts are on your side, pound the facts. When they aren’t, pound the table. >

When he visits the barber, does he just say “gimme a Dumb ‘n’ Dumber”? >

Facts? Why do I have to give the Facts? lol >


Parikh ― who has spoken at election denial events organized by MyPillow CEO Mike Lindell, an election conspiracy theorist

What could possibly go wrong >

Wow! Liars get really mad when the are told to prove their lies. >

Facts are a stub bling block for all of Kari’s backers,like Trump’s as well. >

They should have went down the rabbit hole with him on the stand, Apple 11, shape of the earth, Bigfoot, pizza gate. >

Ah yes, the Apple 11 enigma. >

Yes the pro location sharing conspiracy, start with the lite stuff and go deep >

To the core. >

"Define fact" >

He’s clearly not an expert in anything. Especially choosing a barber. You can tell by his haircut that he’s an imbecile. Did his mom put a bowl on his head?