>

It always was, you were kidding yourself if you thought otherwise. 
What's the number one phrase for a bride in her dress and everything? I think it's "beautiful"
I don’t think that this is unpopular as long as you aren’t making fun of your partner. You can break up with someone for whatever reason that you want. As long as you hold yourself to the same standard then I don’t think you’re an asshole although I wouldn’t leave a serious partner for any of these reasons. >

"Honey, I love that we're sipping tea in Milan... I just wish you weren't such a fatty. Ciao!" >

"Darling, I have found my soulmate in you... but I know four fat people and three of them are you lmao cyaaaaa" >

Cheating because your partner becomes unattractive still makes you an asshole however, break up and then look >

He didnt talk about cheating y’all love the word cheating nowadays >

I feel losing attraction to your partner and cheating goes hand in hand for a lot of people and by the way they said it’s fine to look for better options makes it sound to me like they mean during relations. And when the topic of relationships comes up of course cheating is going to come up with it, I don’t have statistics but I’m sure upwards of 70% of active people having relationships have been cheated on and it’s the worst way for it all to happen. >

I have personally never cheated on a partner, but I have no qualms over leaving someone when my needs and concerns aren't met, I hold myself to the same standard. >

That’s really great and I think that’s how it should be, I’m sure the fact that I’ve been cheated on made me read differently into the words than a way you meant them >

It always sucks when someone stabs you in the back and you have my honest condolences.
No one deserves that level of betrayal. >

There's not working out/taking care of yourself and then there's just getting older. If you can't handle wrinkles or gray hairs and want someone younger, check yourself. You might be Leonardo Dicaprio >

Leonardo Dicaprio is completely entitled to leave women the moment they turn 25.
That doesn’t preclude him from being a shallow asshole. >

It is a question of lack of basic effort. >

Yep. That should be the case. If they intentionally disregard their health. Living healthy, having good hygiene, and the likes need effort. >

I mean, it depends on how important physical attractiveness is to the relationship. It is for some, it isn’t for others. But here’s the bottom line: 
If you are unhappy with a relationship and are unable to work on it, leave. Relationships take work but they don’t demand misery. Don’t stick around if you’re that unhappy for any reason. What’s the point? Better your ex-partner gets the chance to find someone better for them and vice versa. >

Relationships take work but they don't demand misery is a great quote friend. >

Lol thank you! >

Well as we age we inherently become less attractive pretty much. It doesn't make you an asshole to leave someone for that reason if they are simply your girlfriend or boyfriend. Although if it's your spouse that seems rather petty. If you made a vow to stay someone through sickness and health and then bolt because they don't look so good at 40 then that's kind of an asshole? >

I think theres a big distinction between aging with grace and just letting yourself go. I don't mind wrinkles and have dated women way above my age, not taking a few hours a week to work out or work on the way you dress are personally big no-nos for me. >

Hard agree, which is why I'm not working that hard to be physically attractive in the first place. I focus on being healthy.
Nothing about keeping myself perpetually uncomfortable to look good to others is appealing. Other people simply ain't worth that, man. >

If you're only in a relationship because of your partner's looks instead of how they really are on the inside, then you're an asshole >

I think that's a bit of an oversimplifcation.
Ugly people can have shit personalities, attractive people can have good personalities, I'd say most people chose their partners based of the intersection of both. >

Except there's a physical attraction that occurs when you first meet someone.  When they feel it back, there's nothing better in the world.  You want to be around them all the time.  Your brain gets a bath in dopamine and serotonin every time you see them.  Because of the chemicals, you're physically incapable of seeing flaws in that person.  It's a magical time for both people.
But that only last 12-18 months.  After that, you start seeing how annoying they are... they're probably not as physically attractive as they used to be... it doesn't matter how hot they are or how good at anything they are, this happens for every single relationship.  So after 12-18 months, you have to decide whether that person is worth being with, even without the chemical brain bath.  Are they someone that you can talk to, that you can enjoy life with, that has similar financial goals and wants to go on the same adventures?  Are they someone who wants the same number of kids as you, who won't betray you later, who won't betray you later because you got depressed and fat?
You're going to fall out of love in every single relationship.  You're going to lose physical and emotional attraction.  If you're chasing that chemical bath and not choosing someone based on the above criteria, then you're never going to be in a real relationship... one that you have to work at every single day... one that you have to wake up every single day and make the choice to love your husband or wife, no matter what they look like, no matter what they've done to you... one that is going to hit rough times and then you're going to have to work even harder.  But also one that gives you a partner to tackle all the shitty stuff in life.  A partner for adventures and learning new things and having fun times with too.
I'll take a real relationship over those first months any day of the week.  There's just something so much more deep and meaningful about it. >

As I said in other replies, I don't think it has to be one or the other, people can be some level of both attractive and emotionally capable at the same time. >

The issue is looking while still in a relationship. You can’t window shop like that. >

If it is only a matter of "making efforts", you can always talk about it to your partner. Once you're in a relationship long enough you can become "lazy" and stop making efforts for your partner. It happens to most of us. >

I am in my 30s and have personally never lost the interest to keep working on myself, I think it is fair to demand, in some capacity, the same standard I hold myself to. >

You are absolutely right why I stay with somebody who you are no longer attracted to you're miserable their miserable leave them and look for somebody else who you are attracted to >

It's one of those things where there's a definite gender-based double standard.  A woman leaving a man she's no longer attracted to is "just being honest about what she wants", but a man leaving a woman he's no longer attracted to is "being superficial and petty." >

If you leave your partner because her body changes after giving birth to your children you're the biggest AH.
If you want to leave because they just stopped exercising and started overeating, that's fine. >

I mean I think there's a lot more nuance to the situation. Suddenly deciding to up and leave one day because your partner weights 20 more pounds than a few months ago is absurd.
Communication over a long period of time, ie telling them how you feel about it, making sure it isn't some mental issue, depression etc and then them still refusing to change within reason? Then it's okay. >

it makes you a vain person. since when is marriage about looks?