>

Fatal for Russia, probably
Gotta love the way the Russians demand some kind of fair play for their special military operation. >

From an abuser's perspective, bad outcomes will always be the victim's fault.
Edit: Thank you for the awards! Did not expect this simple comment to get attention. Be good to each other and stay safe out here. >

Very much so, classic "she made me do it" attitude. >

“If Ukraine wasn’t dressed like that, it wouldn’t have happened” -Vlad >

Stupid sexy crimea >

That fertile land was just asking for it with all that sexy wheat and crops. If it didn't want to get invaded it should have salted the earth. >

Wow the internet really does have everything >


Prior to Zelensky's visit, Kremlin spokesman Dmitry Peskov warned that deliveries of American weapons to Ukraine will lead to an escalation of the conflict in the war-torn country.

Escalation? Russia is already attacking and destroying cities and utility infrastructure. What's worse than that? Chemical weapons? >

Nukes, but if they use nukes they're fucked. 
... So are the rest of us to be fair. >

On one hand, they'd be crazy to use nukes. On the other hand, Putin was crazy enough to invade Ukraine. >

It wasn't crazy to invade Ukraine, they had done this type of thing before and they always ended up with concessions of land or in the government of the country they invaded. This time they hit a perfect storm of fuck around and find out from all of the west and Ukraine >

Yeah, that's a good point. Putin expected it to be like Crimea. >

So did most of the experts. They thought there would be some resistance but ultimately Ukraine would fall except for maybe western Ukraine.
Russia expected more Khersons but Ukraine has been preparing for this war since 2014. >

I think pretty much all of us were thinking Ukraine was fucked until we saw how many of their civilians were seriously fighting and the healthy, educated men in Russia were noping out. >

"Prior to Zelensky's visit, Kremlin spokesman Dmitry Peskov warned that deliveries of American weapons to Ukraine will lead to an escalation of the conflict in the war-torn country."
"There will be consequences if Ukraine keeps shooting down the missiles we are constantly firing at them." >

“Why won’t you just let me punch you? Stop blocking my punches! You are escalating the situation!” >

“Lemme show you this really cool karate move, grab my arm. No my other arm. No with your other arm. No you’re not doing it right. No you’re not doing it right. Well if you’re not gonna do it right I’m not gonna bother to show you, it’s too cool for you anyway” >

Thanks Steven Segal. >

I’m Vladimir Putin, founder of the Vlad Kwan Do self-defense system! After one week with me in my dojo, you'll be prepared to defend yourself with the STRENGTH of a grizzly, the reflexes of a PUMA, and the wisdom of a man. >

Break the wrist, walk away. >

You think anyone thinks I'm a failure because I go home to Starla every night? Forget about it. >

You wanna catch a roundhouse from a dude wearing THEEEEESE?!? >

Forget about it... >

Well they do seem to be experts on fatal mistakes. >

They've gone from really wanting to kill him, to really really wanting to kill him! >

Putin in Dr. Claw's voice; I'LL GET YOU NEXT TIME ZELENSKY! NEEEEEXT TIIIIIMMMEEE!!!!! >

You can imagine Putin stroking a kitty cat too. >

I can't imagine that thing being kind to animals. >

I would like to remind you that Hitler liked animals. >

Literally no one is evil all the time. >

But some are evil most of the time :) >

You can evil all of the people some of the time, you can evil some of the people all of the time, but you can't evil all of the people all of the time ? >

You could make an entire game show based around “Who said it, Russia or North Korea?” >

Or at least a category in Jeopardy >

Le Tits Now! >

The penis mightier >

Anal bum cover >

Ursula Andress, Catherine Deneuve, and Charo twice >

“That’s Foreign FLICKS, Mr. Connery.” >

I’ll take “The Rapists” for $400, Alex. >

Famous titties for 200 trebek. 
That's titles Mr. Connery, TITLES!
.....DOLLY PARTON! >

"I would like to once again remind our contestants to please refrain from using ethnic slurs."
"You think you're pretty smart, don't you Trebek? With your dago mustache and greasy hair!"
"What did I just say about ethnic slurs?" >

Russia added "And now we'll have no choice but to invade" >

“You know what, I’m gonna invade even harder now.” >

Ukraine be like "is it in yet?"
EDIT: Wow. Thank you guys for the awards. Didn't expect my best post to be a micropenis joke. >

Honestly with the sense of humor they've expressed so far in this conflict that doesn't sound too far off from something they would say. >

I mean they are literally lead by a comedian. Zelensky understands the importance of both public opinion among his allies, and humor to keep up moral at home. 
The more surprising thing is that he either is a good military leader, or is able to get out of the way and accept good advice (either way that makes him a surprisingly good leader). >

Yeah, for real. He is doing a good job of playing to his strengths on the world stage and for morale at home, but I cannot imagine he is also suddenly a military strategist too.
Good leaders know what they don't know. >

Yeah. He doesn't have to be a strategist. That's for the people under him. He just needs to do his part to enable them to do theirs. >

Many people forget this important part of being a leader >

The higher up you go, the less important your personal expertise is and the more important is your ability to surround yourself with competent subordinates. >

This is what I don't get.  You look at the most amazing militaries, governments, and businesses, and the truly great ones gather round them people who they trust to do their job right down the line.  Because if you have one Napoleon who has to make all the decisions, he eventually runs out of brilliance.  But If you have a humble leader willing to let their subordinates come up with brilliant ideas, you get a hundred brilliant ideas as well as more people who want to be creatively and personally awarded for doing what they were hired to do.  
Yet the most common set up for any hierarchy is oligarchy that makes all the rules and if people aren't mindless robots they get punished.  
Of course it's more complicated but still. >

Wait until the Russians realize 100,000 men aren’t coming back >

They don't care.  The rats who aren't fighting are essentially brainwashed or terrified into silence.  They interviewed that woman who lost 2 sons and her response was "my only regret is that I couldn't make more" like wtf North Korea much? >

I am sure some of it too is them preferring to rationalize the war instead of coming to grips that their loved ones died for nothing more than a Tyrants ambitions. >

And/or brainworm propaganda. They've had two decades of non-stop Tucker Carlson-esque propaganda on all the major Russian channels; a lot of Russians fervently believe that Ukraine are a bunch of country bumpkin nazis hellbent on destroying moscow.Not really the people being sent into the meatgrinder, but their parents, grandparents, etc., the ones that don't have to go anywhere but watch TV.
Sounds familiar... >

Two decades, lol. Try multiple centuries of being psychologically conditioned into a state of learned helplessness. >

Uh oh. What's gonna happen? They gonna invade Ukraine and start murdering women and children?
Dude you can't make threats while actively committing war crimes. You have no further escalations to threaten outside of the one thing that would bring the full force of NATO down on you with unwavering and merciless resolve. >

To quote deadpool; "That's the problem with around the clock tourture. You can't really step it up from there." >

Wasn’t his response “Is that what you think?” >

Yeah, and thats exactly when they did the thing that activaded Deadpools mutations which eventually leads Francis to an ass beating. >

The problem is, the real world version of this is Russia using a nuke and then getting nuked back to the Stone Age by everyone else. Russia’s only real option at this point is nuclear escalation and that’s literally worst case scenario for the entire globe. >


Russia’s only real option at this point is nuclear escalation

Not quite.
Russia's last resort before they throw around nukes is total (conventional) war: complete mobilization of the Russian people and economy to fight the war.
The Russian government has so far been trying to not upset ethnic Russians in Moscow. They first drafted non-Russians, Russians outside of Moscow, and dissidents first. They've been trying to keep their zombie economy propped up with a veneer of normalcy in Moscow while conducting their "limited mobilization" to fight in their "special military operation." 
In a big way, Russia is holding back resources from fighting in the war.
The bigger question is: even if Russia completely mobilizes their population and their economy and put everyone on a war time footing, can they win in the end? How long can Russia fight a total war?
I personally doubt that Russia can ever win in Ukraine, even if they undertake a WW2-style economic mobilization and receive military equipment from China. Ukraine's suppliers have deeper pockets and better toys than Russia can ever dream of getting. >

They couldn't win in the end anyway.
They would just suffer from the same problems they are already suffering from, writ large. Under equipped, undertrained conscripts starving and freezing, being thrown in "meat waves" at entrenched Ukrainian positions.
They might get a few more weapons and artillery shells produced, but they can't just flick a switch and increase the productivity of their military industrial complex. The ramp up would be gradual, and it would take a long time. Probably longer than any of them want to believe because they can't even make the ball bearings for their own rail cars anymore - that shit will be failing soon and their entire economy and military logistic system relies on it. >

And even if they could win, what would they win?
An occupied Ukraine, having been its own country, will not be a happy, productive part of a new Russian Empire. Keeping it occupied would be a constant drain on Russian resources. And because the two peoples are so close, a constant drain on morale. >

Not to mention they would have to rebuild the cities, and quite frankly it doesn't seem like they have the financial resources for that >

Or that the sanctions are just going to keep getting tighter until they leave.
That's the best part to me... we haven't even fully sanctioned them yet and they're already falling apart.
By the time we reach 11, Russia won't even be a country anymore... all those vassal states, such as Chechnya, will secede.  "Russia" will basically just be "Moscow and immediate surroundings".
And they will exist surrounded by people who hate their fucking guts. >

Sure, Grampa. Let's get you back to bed. >

Grandpa has taken the wrong medicine since the beginning of this year. >

Putin is getting so out-machoed by Zelensky his ego must be hurting something fierce. Zelensky is standing beside his countrymen in a time of war and stepping up at every turn while Putin sits in the Kremlin brooding over why his soldiers have so little morale and are uninspired by his leadership. >

Imagine being a lifelong kgb hardline macho soldier type being made to look stupid by a short bloke who starred in tv sitcoms. I mean. Ouch.
As much as I pity Ukraine dealing with this, Zelensky was totally built to humilate Putin, purely by continuing to exist. >

Well, Putin is also quite short. And insecure about it. >

Meanwhile Zelensky doesn't give a shit and doesn't even try to hide the fact he's short. Instead he surrounds himself with taller, intimidating looking soldiers >

Right?
Putin: 5’ 7”, hides behind giant table in bunker. 
Zelensky: 5’ 6”, post message to nation from the literal frontlines within seconds of murder proximity surrounded by giant armed warriors. >

Yeah, but Zelensky can play the piano with his penis, so there’s that. >

Peianist >

What are they gonna do, invade Ukraine >

Fuck. Now he is going to fall out of a window because he went on a trip? >

Oh no!
Not Double Secret Probation!!!
Anything but that. >


"All the allies of the United States ended up very badly, being on the sidelines, or rather, in the dustbin of history," he said, Russia's state-run news agency RIA Novosti reported.

What cause Russia’s allies are doing so well?

"This has been going on for hundreds of years," the deputy continued. "The Americans have only one ally—it is themselves, and all the rest are secondary figures that should ensure their prosperity and who, if something happens, can be betrayed."

What you mean betrayed like how Russia invaded its old ally Ukraine? Ukraine was trying to ensure it’s own prosperity until you showed up, dickweed.

Zelensky has made a "fatal mistake" in his choice of allies, Belik said.

You’ve already invaded his country, you fuckwit. Jesus the lack of self awareness is amazing. >

We don’t even really have “hundreds of years” worth of foreign diplomacy to evaluate. All of our major allies are doing great, and we even picked our last major enemies up off the ground (Japan & Germany). Iraq & Afghanistan are problematic, but in general being on the US side is a net benefit. The only people that benefit from Russia are the individual dictators of shithole countries that need support keeping their people suppressed. >

The middle east is a shit show we just have to let happen.. getting re-involved a 4th time is idiotic at best. We're lucky to come out unscathed-ish last two times. >

Kuwaitis are pretty happy we got involved that one time. >

Is Russia allergic to shutting the fuck up or something? >

These announcements are never for us in the west. we know more about what is happening in Ukraine than most citizens of russia. These declarations and posturing is entirely to placate their zombified population. "Russian rhetoric is aggressive = We are the strongest". It's a juvenile mindset but they never developed beyond it. >

It's kind of pathetic at this point.  They've got a few people "brainwashed" but I'm pretty sure they're just pretending to be on board because they'd have bad window things happen if they disagree.  Anyone in Russia who had the means to leave has left. >

This isn’t quite true. There are tens of millions of Russians who technically have the means to leave and haven’t (yet), for a variety of reasons, some more understandable than others. >

You fool! You fell victim to one of the classic blunders! The most famous is to never get involved in a land war in Asia.
but only slightly less well-known is this: ‘Never ally with America when death is on the line!’”
Inconceivable. >

Oh guess what I'm introducing to my kid today. 
It's inconceivable. >

We're supposed to guess? I'll guess Spaceballs >

Why wouldn't it be Blazing Saddles ? >

Because the answer is obviously Robocop >

I’ll buy that for a dollar