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Mix enough fertilizer into the soil and add more to last a few months.
Mind the weather when watering.
All you need to do is water around 2x a week in hotter weather, much less frequently in colder or wet weather. Obviously varies depending on the plant.
Plants take a while to die. Short periods of neglect typically don't kill them (although the window is smaller with temperature extremes). It's calming because it takes your mind off of more stressful stuff and makes you think about what you're doing. Although it certainly is a bit more demanding than people make it out to be.
I find that it takes a while before you find comfort in gardening. You have to eventually develop the mindset of "If it dies, it dies."
You also have to learn what grows easiest in your area and not really bother with things that take too much work. Being prepared is also another big one. Having some insecticidal soap on hand is always nice. >

I'm trying to research best plants for my area. I live in a "9a" zone from what i read online. 
what benefit does insecticidal soap offer? I'm taking any advice i can get at this point lol >

thank you so much! i will definitely be looking into to this. >

You're welcome! Also, feel free to hit up some of the gardening subs if you have future questions.
r/gardening
r/vegetablegardening >

Try different plants in the Lamiaceae (mint) family. Like Hyssop, Bee balms, Salvia, etc. They're great for lazy gardening. >

I'm currently trying to grow lemongrass, pentas flowers, a pygmy palm & cat grass. 
the cat grass is easiest & and honestly, the only thing i can grow consistently. I think the pentas would have been fine if we didn't have that cold snap last month. Also, my cat pooped in them, so they ded.
i know it's a lil too chilly for the lemongrass rn, but i just tried my luck. But even my palm is turning brown. I honestly want to cry, but will stick with it& try again in spring. thank you for your suggestions, I'll keep them in mind!