>

Hey, I’m honestly all for “rejection for rejection’s sake”. To me, gender stuff is stupid! But if you’re going to eliminate the term non-binary because it’s unnecessary, you surely have to do the same with man and woman, too. They’re all as unnecessary as each other. 
That said, I also know that it’s important to some people. They really care about the role society puts on them. So as long as they’re not espousing any particularly toxic views, they can go ahead and do what they want. 
While I do have ideas about gender, primarily, all I care about is getting to live in the body I want. I can live with the stupid labels.
/u/Heap_Good_Firewater (OP) has awarded 2 delta(s) in this post.
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Please note that a change of view doesn't necessarily mean a reversal, or that the conversation has ended.
^Delta System Explained ^| ^Deltaboards >

At first I thought it was a typo until I saw it repeated over and over. 
The heck is a nibling? >

Gender-neutral for niece or nephew. I have accidentally said “nibblet” a couple times >

Pardon me, but what exactly is the derogatory h-word you mentioned?
hetero? homo? >

Probably hermaphrodite >

Isnt that the scientific term for that phenomenon tho? >

Not in humans. It’s called ”intersex”. ”Hermaphodite” is a zoological term. >

Ah TIL ty! >

Same.  42 years old.  never knew it was wrong to say hermaphrodite >


I draw the line at "non-binary". What are the odds you’re exactly 50/50? 

Non-binary doesn't mean "half and half." >

If you’re not half and half, then you must identify slightly more with one gender, right?
My question is why not go with that gender (again, regardless of sex at birth)? >

If you don't like chocolate or vanilla it's not a matter of 50/50, it doesn't necessarily mean you like any other flavour either. >

OK, this is interesting, but also concerning.
My friend's son was traumatized to have female body parts. He would wrap his breasts tightly (probably too tightly) when going to school.
Based on your analogy, they hate chocolate, and chocolate is what they are being served, but switching to vanilla won't help. 
At least gender reassignment (not only talking about the surgical/hormonal option) can offer some increased quality of life for trans men and women. It seems like a non-binary person can't be happy period. Hopefully it is more complicated than that. >

I know you're already done with this thread (as per the edits) but I wanted to add something that might help here. You're actually right on this one. I identify as nonbinary but the more accurate would be agender. Being chocolate is horrible for me but becoming vanilla wouldn't help or change anything, it would be equally horrible in different ways. And that sucks. It sucks that there are no good options but honestly the REAL reason it sucks is that even though there are no good options for me I'm still forced to pick a side and picking a side when all sides are horrible, deeply upsetting options is a really terrible place to be. I'm forced to pick a side bc, here's the thing about gender, it's both a personal identity and a social identity. People put their gendered expectations on me everywhere I go, I get zero say in that, it just happens as a normal, standard aspect of existing in a gendered society. Everyone I meet sees me as some kind of gender and whatever their ideas are about how I look to them inform how they treat me and what they expect of me so my options are either fight a losing battle (since most people who've spent their entire lives living in a gendered society and seeing everything through a gendered lens aren't going to magically stop having gendered expectations just bc they upset me) or just accept it and move on. I choose to accept it and move on bc I personally dont feel like wasting energy on impossible battles... but I still hate it (don't mistake composure for ease). Every interaction I have that involves people picking a side for me is in some way terrible for me. Sometimes it's in small ways, sometimes it's more significant, but it's always there, it's like chronic pain but emotional and social. And I accept living this way simply bc there's no option for living without it, if I could opt out of the gendered system I'd do it in a heartbeat but I can't so constant emotional pain is the only option (since I'm not going to choose nonexistence over this but there are plenty of suicidal non binary people in the world who'd rather not exist than exist that way). 
So yes, it is distressing to be agender or non binary in this way, you're absolutely right to be concerned, it's incredibly concerning. >

Δ 
I have read responses from people who roughly fit my stereotype of non-binary as people who are “exploring and experimenting” with their gender, but are not overly disturbed by the minor disconnect between their sex and gender.
I was surprised to hear stories like yours, and they sound more like the stories of trans men and women that I am familiar with. 
It has certainly made me think. At the very least, there is more diversity in the non-binary world than I suspected.
Don’t let people like me get you down. Society gradually but inexorably becomes more progressive, but there are setbacks along the way. Hang in there. >

Couldn't non binary also simply mean someone who doesn't care for the whole concept of gender to begin with and wishes others wouldn't be seeing them as one of two genders. Experimenting isn't really something that comes to mind when I hear non binary. Maybe it's because I've always thought gender stereotypes and treating people according to gender stereotypes is ridiculous that the opposition to gender binary aspect is the first thing to come to mind when I hear non binary . Personally I've always been indifferent to which gender other people see me as but being seen as a man also doesn't bother me enough for me to tell people to stop assuming. >

Nah, that would be non-chalant not non-binary >

My view of my own gender is definitely non chalant or indifferent yes. But wouldn't someone who finds the whole concept of gender offensive to begin with and doesn't wish to identify as one for that reason be non-binary? >

Don’t ask me I only tried to post a funny comment I don’t have the critical thinking required to weigh in with any real conviction >

Hello! I’m non-binary. As others have said, “exactly 50-50” isn’t so much a thing. I identify as neither man nor woman. I’m not a butch woman or an effeminate man. I’m just a person who had massive gender dysphoria before surgery.
I also don’t correct people about my pronouns, because it turns out I don’t want my gender or lack thereof being discussed at every possible opportunity. I don’t call myself non-binary for any perceived benefit; it just happens to perfectly describe my experience. >

Doesn't this just enforce gender roles? 
No one is the perfect embodiment of man or woman and everyone deviates from what those terms imply in many aspects. Someone being non binary implies they deviate from what we consider men and women too, but non binary considers those terms more strict than they actually are.
Effeminate men are still men like you said, humans without arms or legs are still humans, women who have hysterectomies are still women etc. It seems more like a rejection for rejection's sake.