>

But I thought he was down to his last $100k? Where does he find the money to launch a newsletter?
I hear he's planning an ICO, InnocenceCoin, where you can vote in the DAO on how innocent you think he is on a scale of 1 to 10 and if you lock it up for 420 days you get 69% APR. >

OMG where do I sign up?  - average dumbass >

You joke, but if we've learned anything from the past few years it's that crypto people make absolutely incredible marks. >

Which is why I pan to launch ReputationCoin™ so people know who to trust based on staking overcollateralized crypto against NFTs that represent specific organizations or individuals for yield farming opportunities. The more crypto staked against an organization the more trustworthy they are, and the more valuable their NFT becomes. If someone rugs then the crypto staked against them gets payed out to people who have purchased ReputationCoin™ insurance.
Sign up page coming soon! Lock in your crypto now and have hard mathematical proof that you're not one of the suckers! >

I'm launching a new stablecoin - it will always be tradeable for $1 US, because I say it will
what's that? will I buy your coins for $1? hahahaha oh God no
invest today! >

Has Byenance unlocked their stablecoin yet? >

Because nothing confirms your innocence more than writing a newsletter to tell everyone you're innocent.
I wonder how long it'll be before his lawyers fire him. >

"We gotta write a song about how not guilty we are!  'Don't be guilty, it's not good to be guilty!'" >

Is this Frank Reynolds?! >

🎶 it’s no good diddlin’ kids 🎶 >

🎶Gotta be big,  older than my daughter,  older than my daughter 🎶 >

A newsletter? What’s next, flyers? >

Sam Bankman-Fried will teach you wire fraud, securities fraud, and money laundering. >

And walk your dog >

GptChat write 2000 words on how I am innocent. >

Beep boop
Error. SBF Innocent = False.
Cannot provide request. Have a nice day.
Boop beep >

just how does one Launch a Newsletter? >

By tossing some crypto coins?? >

To your Witcher? >

Oh Silicon Valley of plenty >

So began the saga of Geralt of Rivian. >

I imagine his lawyers drink 24/7 at this point >

His lawyers defended Ghislaine Maxwell. They are used to representing scum. >

I think it's less the ethics in this case, and more the fact that Bankman-Fried seems like a horrible client who's actively making their jobs harder by ignoring the advice they're almost certainly giving him ("shut the fuck up and stop making public announcements"). >

When you're so smart and want everyone to know it.
Especially your stupid lawyers. What do they know anyway? >

"I love paper trails."
-- Every federal prosecutor ever >

Most financial crimes are discovered when investigators find the 'second set' of books.
SBF realized the way to overcome this was to have zero sets of books.
Modern problems call for modern solutions. >

Subscribe now, cash or bit coin >

I’m a little concerned that someone this stupid was able to grift so much money. Our system is f-cked! >

There is a man who is dumber and has grifted way more people than SBF.
His initials are DJT and his cons are ongoing. >

But not more money :/
For the record, this is not in defense of Trump. >

I'm not entirely sure if this is correct, but it could be. I guess it depends on how you slice it.
DJT has been pitching his grifts for decades. It adds up.
We'll find out shortly how much he stole from the American public via tax fraud. That should count towards his total. The same goes for refusing to pay contractors for services they rendered, including entire high-priced legal teams.
I don't disagree, I just wonder. >

It worked for OJ! He is still looking for the real killer. >

If he can't explain in a 10 second meme dancing Tik Tok with text overlay his innocence he should be in jail for the rest of his life. >

Does he not listen to his lawyers? Maybe he doesn't have any. >

Yeah, was wondering that myself.  I'm pretty sure the first thing you get told by lawyers is to shut your mouth. >

His interviews and newsletters are going to bite him in the ass. >

Especially when he admitted to comingling funds in interviews prior to his arrest.
Imagine being this guy's lawyer. >


Imagine being this guy's lawyer.

Imagine being this guy's lawyer's liver. >

The only thing that could make this funnier is if he accidentally hires Coffeezilla as the editor. >

I've enjoyed Coffeezilla beating up on SBF. Then I got bored after a while. Now I'm watching Space Ice beat up on Steven Seagal. >

He is eating food bought with stolen money. Living in a mansion paid for with stolen money. He has stolen from old and young. He should be in a cell. Assets liquidated. tell me a young POC who robbed a gas station would be sitting at home. This is not a kid making a mistake, he is a thief and sociopath. Destroyed lives, plans, futures. >

Doesn’t matter. In fact, he and his parents are getting special protection from Stanford university. This includes streets shut off and extra police.
From the Stanford Daily:
“Neither Professor Bankman nor Professor Fried will be teaching at Stanford Law School this quarter. Both professors live on campus with their son Sam Bankman-Fried, who pled not guilty to criminal charges and is under house arrest in his parents’ Stanford residence.
In response to nearby residents’ safety concerns, Stanford’s Department of Public Safety hired temporary security around the Bankman and Fried residence through an external vendor, wrote University spokesperson Dee Mostofi.” >

the whole family is in on it.  There is no way he come up with such a complex corporate structure without his parents know how. >

The funny thing is, that they might not have actually set up the complex corporate structure, they just meant to.  His father when he was still talking to the media said as much. >

I didn't do anything wrong!
By Sam Bucketof-Friedchicken 
I didn't do anything wrong! Be nice to me! >

The only subscribers are going to be attorneys. >

And the Feds. >

Go fuck yourself, Sam. >

His brain doesn’t work without cocaine >

Such a rich person thing to do >

Should have made a zine >

Did Tom and Gisele try to pull their funds during the divorce and crash ftx? >

Where’s all the money Bankman? >

i’m sure his lawyers are happy about this development. >

Hope his broke victims who are rich people understand this is what you get with white collar crime. No one cares. >

Sam... Dude... I get that you're entire thing has been a house of cards you built of charisma and bullshit and point blank, respect on that, but you NEED to shut the fuck man. I don't have any skin in your crypto nightmare but dude step one of legal issues is shut upppppppp. >

You are not merely the clown you are the entire circus. >

Thank you? >

I never had op in mind when i posted that comment it was directed at SBF. >

I didn’t think so. But it’s happened before. >

Can someone at least get this poor toenail looking guy a haircut if we have to keep seeing pictures of the scrote? >

Only tech bros would wear a work backpack to court >

Is he calling it the "Renolds Pamphlet"? >

How to self incriminate 101. >

keep diging that hole your gonna bury yourself in >

Newsletter? They really did seize his assets, most true billionaires buy a media conglomerate for such a delicate operation. >

Dude give it up, your not gonna bullshit your way out of this. Lance Armstrong claimed innocence for years. >


I didn’t steal funds, and I certainly didn’t stash billions away…

Says a guy who has lived a lavish lifestyle without producing any tangible work product.  Seems like stealing to me. >

He could start by getting my gemini earn assets back to me. >

Fuck this guy and his ugly goblin girls >

Dude, if you want to go to prison that badly you can just plead guilty. It'll save lots of time and money for everyone involved.
He's basically written the prosecution's case for them right now.