>

It's really really not stress relieving to me...especially when deer eat your whole garden!
I find that it takes a while before you find comfort in gardening. You have to eventually develop the mindset of "If it dies, it dies."
You also have to learn what grows easiest in your area and not really bother with things that take too much work. Being prepared is also another big one. Having some insecticidal soap on hand is always nice. >

I'm trying to research best plants for my area. I live in a "9a" zone from what i read online. 
what benefit does insecticidal soap offer? I'm taking any advice i can get at this point lol >

thank you so much! i will definitely be looking into to this. >

You're welcome! Also, feel free to hit up some of the gardening subs if you have future questions.
r/gardening
r/vegetablegardening >

Try different plants in the Lamiaceae (mint) family. Like Hyssop, Bee balms, Salvia, etc. They're great for lazy gardening. >

I'm currently trying to grow lemongrass, pentas flowers, a pygmy palm & cat grass. 
the cat grass is easiest & and honestly, the only thing i can grow consistently. I think the pentas would have been fine if we didn't have that cold snap last month. Also, my cat pooped in them, so they ded.
i know it's a lil too chilly for the lemongrass rn, but i just tried my luck. But even my palm is turning brown. I honestly want to cry, but will stick with it& try again in spring. thank you for your suggestions, I'll keep them in mind! >

Mix enough fertilizer into the soil and add more to last a few months.
Mind the weather when watering.
All you need to do is water around 2x a week in hotter weather, much less frequently in colder or wet weather. Obviously varies depending on the plant.
Plants take a while to die. Short periods of neglect typically don't kill them (although the window is smaller with temperature extremes). It's calming because it takes your mind off of more stressful stuff and makes you think about what you're doing. Although it certainly is a bit more demanding than people make it out to be. >

Thank you for the info. I don't think i knew to water less in cold weather. 
I can see how gardening would relieve stress by taking one's mind off other things, & maybe that's my issue. I'm very lucky that my life, in general, isn't too stressful. It's just me & my cats so the most stressful part of my life is work. 
Maybe if i had kids & needed alone time/ quiet time, it would be more stress relieving, but i don't, my house is generally quiet. 
and thank you for the last sentence, because that's my biggest point, it's definitely more demanding than ppl make it out to be sometimes.
edit: spelling >

Routine watering is not the best. You have to check the soil conditions. If the soil is still damp, it probably doesn't need water. When it's dry, it needs water. The time-honored finger-in-the-dirt test works fine. You'll adjust your watering according to how dry the soil is. Overwatering causes root rot. Better to let the soil dry and then water, than risk overwatering. >

i think root rot is what is happening to my pygmy palm. the dirt (especially on top) always seems so dry. 
all of my plants are in pots as i am trying to grow them on a balcony. I'll try again in the spring & hopefully, I can get it right this time. Or at least as close to right as I can get, thank you! >

A mulch layer can also help keep the soil damp for longer, this will also help with the top layer.  
Same for me, all my plants are potted. They dry out REALLY fast in the summer time when temperatures hit 90+. I find myself watering them every 3 days in those conditions, and those are 5 gallon pots. >

Yeah, a beer on the covered patio, or watching a body of water from the beach is way more relaxing than dirt and labor under the hot sun. >

i like your style! I may have set myself up for failure here, because i do those things u named almost on a daily basis. Except i don't drink beer, so it's usually wine or a mixed drink. 
Anyway, maybe my subconscious mind thought that wine on the patio while watching birds& fish on the lake & a 5 minute walk to the beach was too relaxing & convinced me to add the stress of gardening to my life. 
i gotta stop listening to my brain haha
edit: words >

It's really really not stress relieving to me...especially when deer eat your whole garden! >

While I enjoy gardening and seeing the fruits of my labor the actual growing the plant part is stressful lol. 
I enjoy eating the food, I enjoy preserving the food, I enjoy cooking the food. 
I don't particularly love the process necessary to get to that stage, it's a necessary evil. >

Amen. But if you skip the need to make it perfect and just let nature grow as it grows and enjoy being outside and getting results for putting LOVE in- this shit is addictive. >

Yard work fucking sucks. >

Wow fucking shocker. Different people find different things relaxing. >

I find that it takes a while before you find comfort in gardening. You have to eventually develop the mindset of "If it dies, it dies."
You also have to learn what grows easiest in your area and not really bother with things that take too much work. Being prepared is also another big one. Having some insecticidal soap on hand is always nice. >

I'm trying to research best plants for my area. I live in a "9a" zone from what i read online. 
what benefit does insecticidal soap offer? I'm taking any advice i can get at this point lol >

thank you so much! i will definitely be looking into to this. >

You're welcome! Also, feel free to hit up some of the gardening subs if you have future questions.
r/gardening
r/vegetablegardening >

Try different plants in the Lamiaceae (mint) family. Like Hyssop, Bee balms, Salvia, etc. They're great for lazy gardening. >

I'm currently trying to grow lemongrass, pentas flowers, a pygmy palm & cat grass. 
the cat grass is easiest & and honestly, the only thing i can grow consistently. I think the pentas would have been fine if we didn't have that cold snap last month. Also, my cat pooped in them, so they ded.
i know it's a lil too chilly for the lemongrass rn, but i just tried my luck. But even my palm is turning brown. I honestly want to cry, but will stick with it& try again in spring. thank you for your suggestions, I'll keep them in mind! >

Mix enough fertilizer into the soil and add more to last a few months.
Mind the weather when watering.
All you need to do is water around 2x a week in hotter weather, much less frequently in colder or wet weather. Obviously varies depending on the plant.
Plants take a while to die. Short periods of neglect typically don't kill them (although the window is smaller with temperature extremes). It's calming because it takes your mind off of more stressful stuff and makes you think about what you're doing. Although it certainly is a bit more demanding than people make it out to be. >

Thank you for the info. I don't think i knew to water less in cold weather. 
I can see how gardening would relieve stress by taking one's mind off other things, & maybe that's my issue. I'm very lucky that my life, in general, isn't too stressful. It's just me & my cats so the most stressful part of my life is work. 
Maybe if i had kids & needed alone time/ quiet time, it would be more stress relieving, but i don't, my house is generally quiet. 
and thank you for the last sentence, because that's my biggest point, it's definitely more demanding than ppl make it out to be sometimes.
edit: spelling >

Routine watering is not the best. You have to check the soil conditions. If the soil is still damp, it probably doesn't need water. When it's dry, it needs water. The time-honored finger-in-the-dirt test works fine. You'll adjust your watering according to how dry the soil is. Overwatering causes root rot. Better to let the soil dry and then water, than risk overwatering. >

i think root rot is what is happening to my pygmy palm. the dirt (especially on top) always seems so dry. 
all of my plants are in pots as i am trying to grow them on a balcony. I'll try again in the spring & hopefully, I can get it right this time. Or at least as close to right as I can get, thank you! >

A mulch layer can also help keep the soil damp for longer, this will also help with the top layer.  
Same for me, all my plants are potted. They dry out REALLY fast in the summer time when temperatures hit 90+. I find myself watering them every 3 days in those conditions, and those are 5 gallon pots. >

Yeah, a beer on the covered patio, or watching a body of water from the beach is way more relaxing than dirt and labor under the hot sun. >

i like your style! I may have set myself up for failure here, because i do those things u named almost on a daily basis. Except i don't drink beer, so it's usually wine or a mixed drink. 
Anyway, maybe my subconscious mind thought that wine on the patio while watching birds& fish on the lake & a 5 minute walk to the beach was too relaxing & convinced me to add the stress of gardening to my life. 
i gotta stop listening to my brain haha
edit: words