>

Why is it rude? Like is it a sensitive topic or something. "This guy tom" "oh cool, congrats" it just doesn't seem like a big deal lol.
LOL congratulations on posting an actual “unpopular opinion”. These replies are hilarious >

I love it when this happens. The thread just goes up in flames and it's nice to see the worst of humanity from time to time. >

Trust me buddy if you think this the worst of humanity you been living a pretty good ignorant life keep it that way >

it was very obviously a hyperbole >

Unrelated, but there's just something fun about pronouncing hyperbole as "hyper-bowl" >

And doing it with confidence…I love being condescendingly, intentionally wrong. “Umm, I believe it’s pronounced ‘hyper-bowl’” >

It's also fun to say to a buddy when he says his wife is pregnant. >

"Raise it as if it's your own" >

"What?! I'm to be saddled with this misshapen...fine, then. But let him live with you here, in the church." >

“Maybe this foul creature may yet prove one day to be, of use… to me.” >

"And so he gave the child a name. A cruel name which means 'half-formed': Quasimodo."
"Now here is a riddle to guess if you can,"
Sing the bells of Notre Dame,
"Who is the monster and who is the man?"
Sing the bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells,
Belllllllls oooooooof Noooooooootreeeeeeee
Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaame! >

Favourite Disney soundtrack by a mile. >

Say "your husband!" If you want to stir the pot >

if its a guy. go surprise its yours. >

Lol that would never work on a redditor >

Just say you stole his laundry. >

Socks in particular >

We have a "side family member"(ex-son-in-law's sister) for whom the question was definitely asked and led to a whole ass mess because of who the father was. >

Was it the ex-son in law?
I feel that that is big enough to cause some controversy. >

No. Even ex-son-in-law isn't that stupid.  It was a man who was reproductive abuser, she wasn't supposed to be seeing him while she lived with her parents and he was married to someone else. She has finally gotten her act together and he has moved elsewhere if he isn't dead from his heart condition. As matter of fact, my daughter tells me that now that he is out of his ex-wife's life, her life has turned around 100% for the better for both her and their kids. >

Reproductive abuser? My mind has gone wild with speculations lol >

The only conclusion I can come to is that he purposefully seduces someone to mother his kid, perhaps promising that he'll always be there forever ever and then bails when kid is born. >

Some people definitely have a breeding fetish >

Just dont follow up with "shit, you gonna keep It?", Whatever the answer is. >

After some crazy fertility issues, and 11 years of marriage, I called my sister to tell her I was finally pregnant. Her response “oh shit, you gonna keep it?” My absolute favorite response of anyone. >

"...yeah" >

This makes me recall an office conversation where a colleague announced that she was expecting. After the round of congratulations a guy asked her whose is it. The expecting mother was a bit taken aback by the question but still managed “my husband’s”. This guy, a non-native english speaker asked again “No, I mean boy or girl?”. 
The moment was hilarious. >

It depends on how you ask.

So who's the dad?

Unacceptable, rude, intrusive.

Who's nut dripped on your butt?

Polite, respectful, keeps the focus on the moment. >

Bespoke >

Perchance. >

You can't just say perchance >

Perchance they may? >

Mayhaps >

Verily >

No real need to ask. I'm usually the dad.
You're welcome. >

Can you pay me child support then? >

Get in line. He owes me. >

Our child support >

Comrade dad >

COMDAD! >

r/unexpectedcommunism >

If she's married or in a relationship, it certainly is. >

There are exactly two possible scenarios here:
1) She is married or in a serious relationship where the answer should be obvious. You either look like an idiot, or an asshole implying that she cheated or something.
2) There is no obvious candidate for the father, or you are not close enough to her to be confident if there is. There are a lot of possibilities here, nearly all of them either draw attention to the expecting mother's non-tradtitional situation, start a difficult and personal story about the expecting mother's personal life that lead her to this place, or both.
OP is playing a losing game. Just say "congrats" and move on with your like like the rest of us. >


2) There is no obvious candidate for the father

3) There are many obvious candidates >


3) There are many obvious candidates

"so which member of the Wu Tang Clan is it?"
"9 is a lot" >

I'M THIRTY-SEVEN?! >

"In a row?" >

Always ask who the mother is. >

Or ask the pregnant mother "are you sure it's yours?" >

I’m pregnant 
WHO IS THE SEED BEARER, I MUST HAVE THEIR NAME. >

I’m mean the seed bearer would be You as you’re pregnant.
We gotta find out the cow that plowed your field to sow his oats, duuuh. 
(Big old /s) >

… bull >

A truly unpopular opinion- well done. >

I feel like OP the type to walk in your room without knocking >

They wanna know who the father is. What better way than to witness the conception? >

peeks into orifice
writes on clipboard >

Maybe they give out stars for performance and volume of seed >

Well, that’s one way to make sure you aren’t invited to many baby showers. Lol. >

That's perfect. I'm going to have to start doing this. >

Depends on who's asking.  Acquaintance?  Nah it's rude.  Immediate family?  Yes it's a fair question. >

Nah if you're announcing unprovoked that someone came inside you, I'm entitled to ask who. >

There it is. Logic I can't refute >

My problem is when someone you know but don't overly care about mentions it, like a coworker you talk to every other day.  I REFUSE to go with the normal "OMG, CONGRATS!"  Nope.  Sorry, getting pregnant is not a challenge for a lot of people.  If you are not financially well, even more reason for me to not say congrats.  Oh, I'm suppose to say congrats because she made a massive mistake and is scared.  Nope. >

Upvoted because this is genuinely a good one. If you have to ask you already know you shouldn't be asking. >

“if you aren’t in a committed relationship this kind of question has to be asked?”  
why tho? >

So we can judge >

Seriously though some of the comments about single mothers on this thread are disgusting and getting up votes. One guy is sitting at 10 up votes right now for saying single moms are disgusting and hurting society. There's another person saying women who don't know who the father is are terrible that's getting up votes along with people saying women need to held accountable. >

single mothers aren't bad people. 
Is that single motherhood is just an hurtful phenomena that prevalent is the west especially USA.
Like see the crimes rate and poverty rate and sucidie rate and college drop out rates of people who were raised by single mothers. 
These statistics are always sad and depressing .
Like this is extremely an important problem in the African American community but you're afraid of talking about it for no reasons. >

Yeah, it's great that we've made it socially acceptable to be a single mother (for the most part) as it's bad to have people in an abusive relationship just because they're be judged for not being with their husband, but we've kinda glorified being a single mother rather than trying to work out issues and have a traditional family.  We ignore any issues that come as a result, and depending on where you live those issues are addressed differently, from what I see it's screaming racism at anyone pointing out the issue or throwing money at the single mothers to help them, which is a good thing but comes with the flip side of further incentivizing it. I hope someone smarter than me can figure out something to do about this whole thing >

I can see how it would come across as rude, but I do think it depends on your relationship with the person. Generally if I find out someone is pregnant and I don’t know who with, my first question is usually a “oh wow! How are you feeling about it?” 
That usually guides the conversation from there. It’s not always a happy thing for people, and sometimes they’re just sharing news without actually sharing enthusiasm. Lets me walk on eggshells and gauge whether or not it’s ‘okay’ to enquire further. I do think it’s ruder with randoms, much more acceptable with people you know, but still entirely dependent on the relationship between you and the pregnant person. 
That said - beyond finding out how someone feels about their pregnancy, I don’t really care about any of the further details. I’ll provide support regardless of how they feel about it, but if they’re happy - great, I’m happy right along with you! If they’re unhappy - how can I help, what can I do for you? That’s all that matters to me. ¯_(ツ)_/¯ >

You can tell who has an upper middle class upbringing and who doesnt >

How so? Spell it out, I'm class ignorant >

Most women in upper middle class + don't have children out of wedlock.
According to a 2011 study, 74% of women without a college degree had children out of wedlock whereas only 12% of births to women with a degree were out of wedlock.
Now, we know college degree doesn't garuntee an upper middle class life, but we can infer a lot from what we do know about income and education
Edit: the idea you'd ask "Who's the father" doesn't really resonate with people whose parents are married, whose friends are married, and whose lifestyle/culture is surrounded by those in similar income brackets. >

Brilliantly put, thanks. And wow, that is a yawning gap - nay, a gaping chasm that separates education and bearing children out of wedlock. Highlights the massive socioeconomic inequality in our society. > >

You’re absolutely free to ask. 
And they’re absolutely free to tell you to stick your huge fucking nose somewhere else. >

If information is not freely offered to you.. maybe there’s a very clear reason lmao >

lso, In my opinion, if you aren't in a committed relationship, the question kinda has to be asked.
​
Does it? Does it really have to be asked? Why would you think it's any of your business? >

Really, who is this self appointed inquisitor? How much of their time do they spend asking irrelevant and unwelcome questions? >

If they wanted you to know they would have told you >

Im sorry, thats not how it works. Here is what mature adults do:
1) Dont even start conversations that you arent ready to talk through completely from 0 to 100. >

Well this is truly an unpopular opinion, congratulations. I do have to ask you, though, when you say the question has to be asked... why?! What business is it of yours? >

If a friend tells me she’s pregnant and has never told me she was seeing someone or was in a relationship, how she got pregnant would be my knee jerk reaction. >

I think they meant like why do you need to. We all understand the knee jerk reaction to want to ask, but I wouldn’t say it’s required of me. Like if my friend says they’re moving (a situation where it’s socially acceptable to ask why) I wouldn’t need to ask why. 
If that makes sense? Not arguing about whether asking or not is appropriate cause I think that’s your own opinion. I don’t think you need to ask though. You won’t be verbally attacked if you don’t. I understand curiosity but we don’t have to. Sorry to go on I wasn’t sure if I was being confusing.
Edit: I love the people putting words in my mouth. I never said that people can only ask if it’s necessary. Saying it’s not a need is not the same as saying not allowed. I understand it can be easy to assume that anyone saying a broad statement must believe the worst when it comes to specifics but cmon…stop making strawmen to knock down. It’s up to your friend if it’s rude. I don’t know you people. >

You don't need to, but you can feel curious and ask it. If she feels uncomfortable sharing she can just say that and conversation over. >

That’s what I just said. But I guess you agree that you don’t need to ask. You want to ask and that’s fine, I don’t know your friends, live your life fam >

Why are you assuming that OPs friend NEEDed to tell her she was pregnant? Sounds like she WANTed to. But you're criticizing OP because according to you, she's only allowed to say things you've determined she needs to say. Maybe the pregnant woman could shutup about things that aren't necessary as well? >

I really hope if I have a child via sperm donor I get asked this so I can say “I don’t know!” and watch the horror on everyone’s face until I reveal I used donor sperm.
I’d probably get disowned for an afternoon but man, it would be legendary. >

If you are not close with the women then it is 100% rude and none of your business.. 
If you’re close with her, then it’s valid. >

If you’re close with her, she’ll tell you. There’s never a time it isn’t rude to ask. Friends just get a pass because they’re friends. It’s always rude.