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I got a similar comment when I used the word girth to describe width.
You're a monster, but take my upvote for "flaccid french fries" >

OP cured me of my least healthy habit with one adjective. >

maybe don’t call em flaccid >

I'm not sure when penises decided they'd co-opt flaccid, but I wish they would have consulted everyone. It's a wonderful word.