>

So in first case, a person is shallow or selfish. Sounds like a character flaw.
In the second case, a person lacks introspection, lacks ability to address the issues in their relationship or even recognize in them in the first place.. and even if they did they don't have the courage to confront whatever problems arise instead of choosing infidelity?
Sounds like character flaws. Massive character flaws at every step actually.
What are these if not character flaws? Our character is what determines how we act in a situation.
Eh. I believe you can go on and never cheat on someone else. But to the person you’ve already cheated on, you’ll never not be “the one who cheated” or whatever >

This. The person who cheated may go on to change and better themselves, but they will do that on their own and it sure af won't be with me. And no apology would ever be enough to make it up to me. >

That's fuckin right. >

Done >

There's always the chance a cheater might not cheat in a future relationship. 
But I think the odds of a cheater cheating on the same partner are very high if they got away with it the first time. 
Some people cheat for thrills. Other people cheat to escape the relationship and don't see any other way out. 
Not all cheating is the same, but most of the time, it's dirtbag trashy entitled behavior. >

the taboo is exciting to them, they know its wrong and thats what makes it fun, they care nothing for the pain they might cause. >

26 male, and I think you both just cured my heartbreak froma past relationship. Just hearing someone else say what I always thought. Or atleast acknowledge what I'm sure alot of people have been through 
😓 Thank you >

24, got out of a 6 year relationship back in March. She cheated… it was really hard the first few months. My family and friends were super supportive and did what they could to cheer me up but I still felt very alone. 
I hate to say it but I’m glad it happened. I’m glad she cheated because I needed to grow and I needed to experience being alone. I needed to learn how to deal with that type of pain and how to love myself. 
Since then I’ve picked up a few new hobbies, lost about 20 lbs, and met someone new who I get along better with then I ever did with my ex. 
You’ll be fine my friend. Pain is temporary, it might not make sense now but one day you’ll look back and understand. Life can only be lived going forward but understood looking backwards. >

31, getting a divorce not so much because of her cheating but because she won't do the work required for reconciliation and I became extremely toxic. Got out of the military and moving away from any navy community because she cheated for at least 7 out of the 9 years we were together and im afraid I'll find out one of my coworkers was someone she cheated with. We were going to do an ancestry report for my son but now I'm terrified it might come back as he's not biologically mine and I don't know what I would do if that happens. Medically diagnosed with depression and anxiety. She's upset with the consequences of her actions. 
The only things keeping me going  is that I now have plans and the fact that no kid grows up okay if their father kills themselves. But I know things get better and I've pushed past the worst of it. >

My friend, I went through something similar.
You sound like you're in your own personal hell right now. Get a therapist, ASAP. They'll help you process your feelings much faster and in better ways than you most likely would. Not sure what your benefits entitle you to, but maybe it's covered? And even if it isn't, it'll be worthwhile. 
Also, consider joining support groups - both online and offline. You need all the community you can get to help you carry and process these emotions. Trust me.
Finally, there are online resources for people who were cheated on. I heard Chump Lady is a great one (just google her.)
In the end, you want it to remain a painful incident you learned and grew from, and not a defining moment that sent you on a downward spiral. Best of luck! >

I think cheating can be circumstantial, but it can also reflect a person's character; narcissists who don't feel bad about cheating will most likely continue to cheat. This saying applies to them. >

There is no circumstance in which cheating can be explained, period. Cheating on someone once makes you a cheater. If you're unhappy, leave. Feeling bad about it means nothing. >

If you think every bad behaviour can ONLY be explained by personality/character of a person then you’re being biased. This is what’s called the fundamental attribution error.
I’m not saying cheating is okay by any means, but to ignore any other factors/explanations is foolish imo.
Feeling bad about it can be helpful towards change. Recognizing your wrongdoings is the first step. Combine that with a lot of therapy and self-reflection, someone can make a relationship work if they other party is wiling to. >

You'd hope someone can recognize that a particular action would be bad and harmful without needing to dabble in it themselves.
If this person can recognize that wearing a seat belt is a good idea and doesn't need to fly out of the car's windshield to finally learn why, they should also be able to recognize that cheating is not a good decision to make way before they even get into any relationships. >

People are impulsive. Sometimes people only realize the actual consequences of things after they've engaged in it. 
People don't often enter relationships with the idea that they're gonna cheat at some point. Sometimes it just happens, for a variety of reasons. >


People are impulsive.

Is that not a personality/character flaw? >

It is, yeah. But my only point is that it doesn’t always have to be a character flaw, specially if it’s a one-time thing. >

So what other reason could there be? >

I think there are 2 main reasons people cheat.
The first is that a person is just shallow and selfish and needs to be gratified constantly (which would be a character flaw). 
The second reason is that the relationship is failing to provide sufficient intimacy and desire. It’s not rocket science to say that the likelihood of infidelity in a relationship is directly proportional to how miserable the relationship is.
The problem is that many people don’t recognize the misery in their own relationships. They come from a family full of miserable relationships and/or have a long history of miserable relationships, so to them, it’s not even miserable, it’s just normal.
Then they get surprised when wifey is fucking the milkman.