>

That's some peak Florida woMan there
Gotta admire the honesty and transparency of the female accomplice...she might make a better girlfriend than criminal !!! >

My first question was what were these two on?
Hard to believe that such concentrated stupidity exists. Even in Florida. >

DeSantis is selling tshirts that say "make America Florida" which, in addition to being a shot directly at Trump, is a *terrible* slogan because you are going to associate Florida Guy stories directly with Ron DeSantis and wind up with stuff like this. >

Just counter by finishing the sentence: Make America Florida Man. Once you can't say one without hearing the other, we've won. >

Pretty sure we won when they said "Make America Florida" in the first place. It's already the country's punching bag. >

I agree, but the Florida Man part is too familiar of a phrase and sounds too close to Great Again that you can't unhear it with enough popularity. Shit phase all together, but easier to parrot. >

Additionally, you can't say that without hearing it in Bart Simpson's voice. >


“Deputies DID help them with their belongings, and DID give them a ride, but it wasn’t to the airport … it was to the Polk Pokey," the sheriff's office said in a Facebook post.

Sheriff’s Office gets 10 points for using the old word pokey. >

Should have used the non-emergency number >

Interesting how the Sherriff’s office takes an opportunity to shit on New York when Polk county is overrun with these methheads robbing dollar stores and dwellings. >

It was sarcasm, dude. He literally said that the Polk county pokey is better than NYC, after joking about not giving them a ride to the airport as they ask. >

redditors detect sarcasm challenge (impossible) >


Deputies responded to a home Saturday after a 911 call was made but nobody spoke, the Polk County Sheriff's Office said.

Yeah I thought this was going in a much different paranormal direction until the woman later said she did it.

At the home, the deputies concluded that nobody lived there, but they found a male suspect and his girlfriend inside the home after entering it through an unlocked door.

But then who was burgle? >

Back in my youth criminals were smarter.
The gov isn't always out to help you, though they did give these people a ride. >

I'm older than 911. And cameras were a rarity and limited even in places that had them. It didn't used to take much brains to get away with most crimes. >


I'm older than 911.

Dang, that's old. Suspiciously old. Like, "made a profane deal at a crossroads" old.
Hmm... >

Not necessarily, 911 was only in certain parts of the country for a long time. I was born in the 80s and we didn't have 911 until probably sometime in the 90s. Instead we had an emergency number that was a full 7 digit phone number, taped to the wall next to our kitchen landline phone. >

I was just making a joke about someone being over nine hundred years old.