>

Sounds like you already solved the problem!  
Maybe also, like, a big straw or something?
This is a friendly reminder to read our rules.
Remember, /r/Showerthoughts is for showerthoughts, not "thoughts had in the shower!"
(For an explanation of what a "showerthought" is, please read this page.)
Rule-breaking posts may result in bans. >

Yeah, but they can’t prance around in fancy pants lording their superiority over everyone (except the fish), so… >

It's hard to brood dramatically when you're swimming. >

Vampires can’t handle oceans. According to lore, they can’t cross running water. iirc, to cross the ocean, Dracula had to spend the journey in a coffin surrounded by soil from his homeland. There’s no way he could inhabit the ocean. >

Cinderblock shoes made from concrete from his homeland. Traverse the ocean floor with this one easy trick! >

Van Helsing doesn't want you to know this simple life hack!!! >

The sperm whales would call in the vampire hunters of the ocean. Narwhals >

Oh shit! >

This is why the Pope secretly blesses the ocean yearly transforming it into holy water. >

Deep ocean vampires hate this one simple trick! >

Vampires have fangs maybe an inch long.   Sperm whale blubber is 6 to 12 inches thick. 
Unless the vampire gets swallowed whole and starts drinking blood from the inside, they’re not getting anything.