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My key fob only unlocks my car. The lock function doesn't work on it at all. So you are even more correct than you probably thought possible
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my second lock turns the headlights off. they go off automatically after a while, but I don't wanna risk it. >

All cars have that feature. If you keep your lights burning long enough they will stop.
Edit future to feature.
So the joke below stays. >

Not all, but maybe in the feature they will.
(edit, not funny anymore now spelling has been updated, but will keep the comment) >

All cars have a battery that will run out. >

Hmm, feature vs future? >

Ah, thanks. >

Sorry, was just trying to be funny! >

No worries, it is a future in the feature it think >

Why would my car reward me with a little toot toot if i wasnt supposed to lock it twice. >

Yep, and wife glares at me since she was walking in front of the car when the toot pops off. >

Thats just good Partner Etiquette. >

Yep, you're just never sure if the first button press took. >

My gosh you sound like my father. He presses it like 67 times until he could audibly hear the beep enough to comfortably feel that it's sufficiently locked. Part of me knows he does it just to irritate me but another part of me knows he doesn't because he does it when nobody's around too >

I do that too but it's because the power locks are fucked and only sometimes decide to work. Occasionally I'll come back and the hatch or passenger side door will still be unlocked despite the rest of them being locked. >

I press the lock button on the door as I exit the vehicle and then walk away. Haha.
You get a pass on this one... For now... Go fix your lock motors. We'll know if you don't. Someone is always watching! 😂😜 >

Dude I'm rocking summer tires in the back, exaughst leaks, evap leaks, rust. I've got more important shit to worry about unfortunately. >

But your keyless remote works? 🤣
Yes, yes, I would definitely say you have to get some things in order. Haha >

From what I know, when you press it once everything locks.  On the second press the horn honks, giving confirmation that it is locked.  Also the horn won’t honk if a door or the trunk is left open, so I always press twice to hear the horn. >

If a door or trunk isn't shut, mine beeps 4 times to alert you. >

My car beeps to let me know all doors are closed and it's ready to lock, then when I get ten feet away I can hear the doors lock and it beeps again. If I'm too far away (someone else got out slower than me), it'll beep rapidly to tell me it couldn't lock. 
I don't even hear the first beep anymore, but I sure as hell hear it if it doesn't do it. >

Mine will sometimes unlock the driver door after I've pushed it once so I do it twice because of that >

I hit the unlock button instead and let it auto-lock 15 seconds later on the timer, while walking away. >


opportunistic thieves liked this >

I always lock it...then walk away, and unlock it, then lock it again.  Just to make sure. >

You have to lock and unlock 3 times so Charlie doesn’t die.