SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by Eating Chile Before I Worked at a Water Park
POST: Little backstory of my job, half of the time you rotate to the top of a slide at the edge of the park where you tell kids to go down for a half hour. So this is where the fuck up happens, about 5 minutes after I rotated to the slide I get the feeling that I have to shit. I start to worry as I have another 25 minutes to hold this log in. A couple minutes go by and the clenching really begins with my toes digging into my sandals to help squeeze the cheeks. I realize that by sitting down I cannot achieve the best clench so I stand up and cross my legs. This helps but eventually the monster of a shit is screaming at the doors. I feel a fart coming and have no choice but to release it which to my satisfaction releases many more what I think to be little farts but i can feel a warm substance in my gooch. I look at the clock and theres 15 more minutes until I can go down and shit. The pain of holding it in becomes unbearable and I devise a plan to shit standing up and quickly grab it and throw it onto the grass. I soon realize this wouldn't work as kids keep coming up to use the slide. I see my assistant manager walking by out of pure luck and tell him to do my job as I have a shit the size of zeus to release. I quickly go to the bathroom and shit to find little poops all over my boxers and smeared on my under sack. I fail in removing the grotesque amount of shit smearings and promptly pull my trousers back up and sit in my filth the rest of the day.
TL;DR: 
20 year old male shits his pants on working on top of slide and sits in his own shit the rest of the day