SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Update: Girlfriend thinking of dumping me because of my birthday party.
POST: So....I (27M)did what all you basically screamed at me to do and I put my foot down with my family. I called my brother and told him that I wanted the birthday party my girlfriend (28F) planned me, I told him she put a lot of effort into it and that they could go to that one or not go at all. All he said was "k". I begged for my girlfriend to talk to me, and then I told her everything that I've been holding back about my family. 

I told her about my insecurities and my issues with neediness and approval seeking. I spilled my heart out to her, something that I've never done with anyone. I have never spoken with anyone about my family, and by the time I was finished, I was a crying mess on my knees. It was pathetic, but she comforted me and cried with me. She said basically everything you guys told me, that I didn't have her back, that she felt like I picked them over her. It broke my heart to hear her cry :( I set up a counseling appointment with my school for next week, and invited my girlfriend to come with me so she could sit in and speak up if she wants to. 

I didn't do a big romantic gesture like some of you suggested; I bought her flowers and we met up in the parking lot of a Starbucks, where I spilled my guts to her and cried into her lap while we sat in her car. I have problems, I know that. My family is fucked up...I just want/wanted them to love me and finally accept me, but I see now that their "love" is toxic and meaningless. 

Thank you all for your advice. My girlfriend and I are still together, and while she's still hurt at the things I said, she has forgiven me. She did say that she will not stay if I ever bend down to the will of my family again, which I understand.
TL;DR: 
we are still together, I stood up to my family. I'm going to counseling next week and girlfriend is joining me.