SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I am a 18 M and my mom has trained me to be afraid of dating.
POST: What I mean is, throughout my high school years I had various "relationships" but they were always hidden because if my mom. She is the stereotypical "helicopter mom" and has always been way to scared for me to get my feet wet so to say. If she knew I was seeing someone she would go out of her way to "show up" or embarrass me in a attempt to kill the relationship. She has done this to me dozens of times and has made me afraid to tell her anything. Just her whole persona about small relationships, even those that were completely non-sexual, is that they should be avoided. To add insult to injury she makes sly remarks and teases about whether or not I may be "into someone" and continues to gaslight me about the matter. Its not right and I feel broken when it comes to the topic and am afraid to talk about dating. I feel guilty having feelings for people and I am incredibly lonely and awkward when it comes to talking to people. She always told me she wished for a gay son and that she doesn't want me to "get hurt". I don't see the situation getting better because I'm still at home for college since the university is just around the corner but I am financially stuck here until I graduate. I have definite self esteem issues when it comes to this even though I am in decent shape, naturally strong as an ox, and a good student. I'm not sure what to do to be honest and I feel mentally trapped by these guidelines that were shoved down my throat since I was 14. College is supposed to be awesome but when I'm out of the house I feel like I'm doing something "wrong" and clam up. What should I do?
TL;DR: 
The way my mom egged me on and purposely destroyed my high school relationships are now carved into my mind and I have a pathological fear of dating.