SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [29 F] with my ex [30 M] of two years, feeling guilty about our breakup
POST: My ex and I broke up in december....and continued on-off for about two months. Honestly it was a super messy break up, with each of us being confused about if it was the right thing. 

I wanted to be nice and polite, and even be friends with him someday. But as messy as if was, I said some things I really regret and I don't think I treated him well. I hope I haven't left him wounded or made his life worse. We are now no contact and I feel more sane/grounded, but I'm been thinking and regreting how I treated him. 

How do I deal with this guilt/apologize without dragging both of us back into this on-off relationship and emotional rollercoaster?
TL;DR: 
Ex and I had an 'emotional rollercoaster' and on-again off-again breakup. I said some things I regret. How do I make amends and make sure he's okay without bringing back our chaotic dynamic?