SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: [19 M] First dates keep turning into therapy sessions
POST: Hey folks, I've spent a large portion of my life researching into practical psychology and self improvement due to struggles with many emotional disregulation mental illnesses.

Now, most everyone genuinely interests me and I am a very selectively judgmental person, which I feel leads people to open up to me extremely quickly. All my dates go well from the perspective of the other person ends up liking me-but I feel like people invest in me way too much too quickly because I am very comfortable letting them talk about themselves and their personal struggle, and I think I encourage it as part of a passive savior complex. But I think at least on their side it leads to emotional instability from intimacy founded on sand.

This needless to say, reflects some boundary issues and while I enjoy exploring the mind of strangers-I feel it really screws up dynamics and makes me feel rather uninvested. I've worked on vulnerability and I do feel I share in equal portion to them-but I just don't feel the connection that comes with being on an emotionally equal playing field. 

I will note this *doesn't* happen a couple times, and one of those times lead to a snazzy boyfriend, but this is still a chronic habit of mine. It doesn't happen with self assured well adjusted confident people since they don't seek that validation, so maybe this is just a filtering thing and representative that these folks \*probably\* wouldn't work with me anyhow? I have a lot of beliefs and traits that make me interested and willing to hear about peoples struggles, but I think it's suggests poor self respect on my part.
TL;DR: 
I struggle with constantly turning dates into me "guiding them" through very personal problems instead of moving forward together. Suggestions on an effective way to proceed given I want to not feel in a position of emotional authority over them?