SUBREDDIT: r/self
TITLE: Snoring should be a goddamn federal crime
POST: On a family trip right now. We're all sharing one Hotel room, and only one of us is getting any sleep. This is apparent from the resounding, thunderous, rasping snores eminating from his bed. But it's not only your regular sleep-slaying snore, it also follows an insidious cycle designed to lure you into attempting sleep. It'll stop just long enough for you think you're safe, but soon begins again. It starts quiet, and you think you can bear it, but then it increases in volume until it reaches the approximate decibal count of above ground nuclear testing. It's currently 1:40 and nobody else has gotten any sleep. I passed the poin of silently hoping he'd drown in his own spit hours ago and am now actively contemplating murder.
TL;DR: 
If you snore, move to an isolated cave in one of the unpopulated swathes of Saskatchewan. It's better that way.