Title: My supervisor is a transphobe

Question:
I posted this on r/talesfromretail and someone said I should post it here, but I'm very lazy so I'm copy and pasting

So I work at a small corporate supermarket in Michigan and I am a transgender woman. It's not a huge deal I didn't have like a big coming out party or anything, I just told the people I work with that I perfer to go by female name and most of them have been really awesome about it, there are a few people who won't, but it's not a big deal, because they can do what they want.

So today I'm working my shift and I go on my lunch so I buy some food. When I get into the break room with my purchases I go to put my purse in my locker and me and my supervisor bump into each other, it's a small space no big deal right?

Welly supervisor cops an attitude and calls me by my male name and says he was walking there. I correct him and say I was also walking there. He gets upset and says it's really annoying when I correct him about my name and I say it's annoying being called the wrong name.

He goes on a rant about how my name tag says otherwise and birth name is is my male name and I'm not a real girl and it's annoying that I'm going by a new name.

I let him know that when he talks toe like that I feel like cutting myself, I am 100+ days without cutting, but when I'm purposefully misgendered it really puts me in a dark place and he says that I'm being dramatic and shrugs it off.

I get mad and say fuck you and he says he reported me to our assistant store director and the is going to talk with me about it. She left before my shift tonight and didn't bring it up, but tommorow I am definitely reporting him for the transphobic things he said and I hope they fire him

Answer: Is there a legal question here? Neither of you behaved as adults. Answer #2: Well you both handled that poorly.  Are you saying you want to be called a different name than your name tag? Or that your name tag name is not your birth name and he will only call you by your birth name? Have you legally changed your name? These issues are multifaceted and this is still a new area of the law. It's unlikely a single exchange with your supervisor amounts to anything actionable especially when you lost it and said fuck you.


Title: Can a college student who is having their classes moved online due to COVID-19 seek some sort of refund on tuition?

Question:
I tagged this consumer law I suppose.

Im a student at the U and Im having my classes moved online. When I paid for my tuition I was expecting a certain quality of education and that quality is diminished with having to take classes online. Is there any sort of partial refund or legal options with the school?
Topic:
Consumer Law

Answer:
 > When I paid for my tuition I was expecting a certain quality of education and that quality is diminished with having to take classes online.

I disagree with the premise that all online classes are inferior to in-person ones.

The quality of your education is directly linked to the quality and effort put in to it by your educator.


Title: Should I be getting hazard pay?

Question: I have been working an inspection-type job for almost a year now and recently have started a project that requires me to be in an active underground mine for roughly 12 hours at a time. Should I be getting paid hazard pay for my time down in the mine? I have to wear safety gear for carbon monoxide, hydrogen sulfide, and wear a dust mask due to the large amounts of suspended dust in the area.

Answer:
 Your employer is under no statutory obligation to provide hazard pay.

There may be a contract in place, particularly if your employment contract was negotiated through a collective bargaining agreement, that would mandate such pay.  If so, then yes, your employer would be required to abide by the terms of the contract.  If not, no, they are not required to.

If you are concerned about the safety of the company working practices, might be worthwhile to check with OSHA, or other regulatory agencies in your industry to ensure your employer is in compliance.


Title: Child custody between unmarried parents (Illinois)

Question:
Hi there,
I'm a 20f and my boyfriend is 28. We've had relationship troubles for over a year now but when we found out I was pregnant, we agreed to attempt to fix it for the sake of the child and some feelings of love we had regardless of all the fighting. Well, big mistake because nothing has changed.

My son was born October 23rd of this year and I moved into his house about two weeks before I was due and have been living there ever since. But the fighting and arguing is non stop. I don't think I can handle it anymore and I don't want this environment for my son. We've lost respect for eachother (seen when we argue) and I question if we really even love eachother the way we act with eachother.

His father signed the papers at the hospital accepting that he is the father if that matters.

I am basically the sole parent of this child since I receive little to no help from his father at home. Mainly because he works and is going to school for his master's. So when he home, he rests, eats, studies more, or watches TV. He will watch our son for a little while if I ask because I want to go get some groceries or shower - no more than an hour (sometimes he can't even make it to an hour) usually.

So my question is, being unmarried, does he have any legal rights to our son? I've said many times that I want to leave, I want to move back in with my mother with my son though he tells me that I can leave if i want but that our son will not leave this house.

If there does need to be a custody battle, some factors to consider in this case are that I have a history (4 years ago) of depression and suicidal thoughts, I went to therapy in place of school for about a month and that was the end of it - on written record at least. And postpartum depression now as well. My doctor thinks I am doing well though and have not needed medication for it. I had an anxiety attack about three weeks ago though and that is on record since my mother sent an ambulance to me because I had lost sensation in most of my body.

BUT I am genuinely NOT at risk of hurting myself. I feel like my boyfriend would use that against me and exaggerate it to make it seem worse. I obviously can't prove it but this child is my reason to live and fight. He IS my life. Yes I had thoughts but I have acted and never wanted to, I have family that I know would hurt if I did that and I love them so I wouldnt dare hurt them by doing that.

But on my boyfriends side, not only does he not have time for our son having to work, go to school, and study but he has anger management issues. He has never been physically aggressive or threatened but he is a very very angry man when he gets mad. He made a big scene at my baby shower and my brother in law had to call the cops on him but he had already driven off by the time they arrived. Also, he get frustrated easily with our son. He just doesn't have the patience to care for him for a long period of time. Though he could deny all that except the baby shower day because that's on record.

Now about households. My boyfriends household - he and I and our son live with his parents. His mother is super dedicated to church and God and what not. She doesn't sleep here other than twice a week because she works over night as a CNA. And she also owns a hair salon so she's gone all day working there. She would give up everything though if she were called to take care of my son. My boyfriends father leaves the house around 1-2pm and isn't home until 2am ish 6 days a week. He owns his own cleaning company but he is an (angry) alcoholic. I don't think I could prove that either since he maintains his lifestyle + steady job + owns it in fact for several years now + idk if he's ever been caught DUI.

Oh and some 40something year old man also lives here, no relation to the family but they consider him family and has been with them for about 16 years. He also follows the mothers religion religiously (and the mother).

My mother's household - it's crowded. It's three bed room apartment with my sister, her boyfriend, and their son in the largest room, my mother's ex husband in another room, my brother in another room. And my mother made the living room her room. There's a dining room as well. So a little space left over ha..
There's really nothing to dredge up in my family. My brother is a 31 year old genius who talks too much that ended up back with his parents really. My sister and her little family are simply struggling with money. My mother's ex husband is a dedicated grandfather to my nephew and works a lot. My mother works 4-5am to 10-11am and then spends the rest of the day at home usually and some weekends she might visit her boyfriend in the suburbs. She babysits my nephew when my sister goes to school since forever.

My family has recent experience with a child because my nephew just turned 3. My son would have many toys to play with and someone to play with at my mother's house. My mother is trustworthy with a child having recent experience. My boyfriends family has no experience with a child since he was a baby 28 YEARS ago. I don't trust his family with my son. His mother wanted to give my newborn WATER. You can't give babies water until they start eating food because it fills them up and provides no nutrition. And insisted that he needed it because our bodies consist mainly of water. And I stomped that out. But yesterday again, she told me about someone she knew whose doctor told her not to give her child water either and when he was a few months old he was hospitalized for being dehydrated. Hence trying to hint at me that my son will be dehydrated if I don't go give him water. Then the other day she said she wanted to get him a scarf for when we go out because he gets cold! Uh are you stupid? You want to wrap something around my child's face and neck when doctors say to not even cover them with blankets when they sleep? He's doesn't have the awareness that if he can't breath, to remove it. He can't physically save himself from something as simple as a blanket and you want to tie something around his neck? Jesus.

Anyways. I say all that incase it affects where the courts decide he should stay. Households matter right? Anyone have any idea of the process that would take place step by step if I choose to leave the house? Well first of all, can I even leave? Am I allowed to take him without permission from the father? And if he says I can't leave with him, can I call police to escort me out?

Any information would help please. Thank you for your time and help!

Answer: IANAL, but you absolutely need to be vigilant about the water. Even a few ounces of water (or even formula that's been mixed too diluted) can cause water intoxication in infants. It's actively dangerous.


Title: [AZ] revenge porn laws??

Question:
Someone posted pictures of me without my consent on the internet for revenge purposes. I live in Arizona where can I find laws that are currently in place about this? I saw that Arizona revenge porn laws got abolished (or whatever the correct legal word is last year). However I see news articles from 2016 saying they made revisions, but I don't see anywhere if they got put into effect yet or if they passed and whatnot.

Also the pictures were sent from california to arizona and he has them/posted them from arizona (where he lives), how does that effect this situation? Thanks.

Answer: File a police report. It's a [Class 4 Felony](http://www.azleg.gov/FormatDocument.asp?inDoc=/ars/13/01425.htm&Title=13&DocType=ARS).


Title: Now that cannabis is legal in Michigan, how can I get this charge off my record?

Question:
Back in 2012 I caught a charge in Michigan for "Marijuana Usage" which I guess is even less serious than marijuana possession.  Now that recreational cannabis has been approved in Michigan, will my record eventually be automatically expunged?  Or will I need to go through some process?  Or am I just completely wrong and nothing will change

I live in Illinois but the charge is in Michigan.  Thank you

Answer: You will not be able to do anything about it unless there is a specific law allowing it to be expunged. The fact that something is legal now doesn’t change the fact that you broke the law in 2012.


Title: What would happen if i refused to give my phone to my school

Question:
[deleted]
Topic:
Canada

Answer: You can refuse, but they can still discipline you for insubordination.


Title: [Texas] Assaulted on city bus with injuries – no lawyer will take case

Question:
Throwaway for obvious reasons.

ELI5: I was sitting on a city bus minding my own business when somebody whacked me on the back of the head with a weapon (pipe or something similar).  Bus driver opened the door and assailant fled but was later apprehended and charged with aggravated assault with a deadly weapon.  Suffered severe laceration and bled all over bus, and was transported from scene to local ER where wound was treated.

I understand completely that you can't get blood from a stone (assailant has long criminal record including other assaults and probably doesn't have a receptacle in which to micturate).  But one would think that the bus company would/should take some responsibility by their agent allowing the assailant to leave without so much as a finger wag.  Calls to multiple law firms (even the ones on TV) have resulted in their either claiming they don't litigate “these kinds of claims” or flat refusal to litigate because of the assailant's penury.  I'm fairly positive that the bus company suffers from no such financial hardship.

Any suggestions as to finding an attorney that DOES do this sort of litigation, and what the name of that sort of litigation might be (criminal prosecution attorney, criminal injury attorney, etc.?)

Answer:
 Please explain precisely where the bus company directly damaged you, as opposed to the nut with the pipe.

If I go to your house, we sit in the driveway listening to the radio, and someone runs up off the street and cracks me in the head with a pipe, do you owe me any money?Answer #2: >But one would think that the bus company would/should take some responsibility by their agent allowing the assailant to leave without so much as a finger wag.

What would you prefer?  That they lock the assailant in with you so he can inflict more harm?  And in what way did you suffer an additional loss because they let the criminal go?

If you're pursuing your assailant for damages, you can either hire a lawyer or work with the prosecuting attorney on some kind of restitution order.  But as you mention, you can't get blood from a stone.  And criminals facing jail time are often stones.

If you're contemplating pursing the bus company, you would probably first need to have some kind of viable claim against them.  Unless you've left something out, it doesn't sound like you do.  Answer #3: Noted all, and agree that I probably don't have much of a case.  But I had to ask because I'm in the "information gathering" phase of this whole mess.  Many thanks to all for the responses.


Title: Ex-wife filed restraining order 200 miles away in Eastern WA. No time to file paperwork before hearing because I live in Portland, Or.

Question:
Ex-wife and I have had contentious proceedings for 5+ years regarding children. I've recently told my sons they cannot tell me the things their mother and step-father do since I am unable to assist in stopping the issue. I told them their best bet if they cannot discuss with the custodial parents to go talk to their teachers and or principal. Ex now claims I told them to skip class and tell lies.

I was served yesterday afternoon with a restraining order preventing me from having them for Thanksgiving. Money is extremely tight and Benton County WA family courts disallow both electronic form submission and telephonic hearings. I'm located in Portland Oregon and have a response drafted but no way to submit it before the hearing Wednesday morning.

So far my experiences have been a textbook case of Parental Alienation and her utter disregard for both the parenting plan as well as the state mandated parenting guidelines has been ignored by the courts so my options are limited other than to appear with no declaration at the hearing.

My kids are my world and I'm terrified. I've never raised a hand against them and refrain from even yelling at them.

edit: I'm noncustodial parent and the "hire a lawyer" comments are covered. Unable to sell anything before hearing date and 17 lawyers I called today declined service due to inability to pay retainer. So go ahead and ignore this any further.

tl;dr: rules favor custodial parent. broke means broke.

Answer:
 You need a lawyer. You _really_ need a lawyer. A restraining order against you on behalf of your own children is a serious deal and you need to do everything in your power to respond effectively to it. It may well have ongoing consequences for your custody plan if upheld.

Contact the state bar in Washington and get a referral to an attorney who handles family law in the county where your wife has filed. Your attorney may be able to appear on your behalf, or able to file for a continuance to have the hearing at a time you can effectively respond to and attend. Borrow if you need to to make this happen, or if you're destitute, contact Washington's legal aid society for help.Answer #2: You.  NEED.  A. Lawyer.  Badly.

Answer #3: One addendum: this coincides perfectly with her entire extended family visiting the tricities for the thanksgiving holiday. Which seems extremely suspicious.

I've reached out to multiple lawyers however am doubting I will find one in time to submit any paperwork by the deadline tomorrow. Apparently Benton County WA courts are one of the only counties that does not permit electronic or faxed documents for court.


Title: $65k in debt and no degree

Question: (in Kansas) I was under an old catalog at my college. Like really old. It took me 6 and a half years to get to what I thought would be my last class. However, some of the classes in my major were no longer taught, and I kept getting letters saying I need to take them. My advisor said it's not a big deal, we'll do some course substitutions for some of the classes I've already taken. So we got the paperwork together and got all the signatures we required, and he said he'd hold onto them until he could get the required syllabi from the original classes I was supposed to take, and that he'd have to do some digging because they hadn't been taught in about 5 years. So I went home (at this point my remaining classes were online, which is great because I had moved an hour and a half away from campus) and assumed that he had it under control. This was January. It's July now and my advisor retired at the end of the spring semester. I'm genuinely happy for him. He deserves it. The only problem is he never found the syllabi for those classes or turned in the paperwork. So now I can't substitute classes, I can't take the classes from my University, I've maxed out the number of credit hours I can have from another college because I didn't foresee this being a problem, and one of those course subs had to be signed by another professor who has since moved to another country after being fired for unrelated reasons. I've spent 6 and a half years and went $65k in debt on this university, only to be unable to graduate at the last minute. Is there anything I can do to get out of this with my degree? I'm feeling pretty hopeless right now.

Answer: Have you spoken to student services at this college, or the dean?


Title: Can a judgment lein be placed on my property if they were unable to notify me of the court case?

Question: I own a piece of commercial property that I run my restaurant out of, located in Florida. I signed a lease for a second location for the for this restaurant. Before I signed the lease I had a handshake deal with the landlord that if things didn't work out he would let me out of the lease as long as we found a replacement.  It's been a year since I've been trying to find a replacement and he rejects everyone I give him. He has  rejected about five applicants. I can no longer afford to continue the lease payments and will most likely be forced to leave at the end of this month. I'm afraid he will place a lien on the one piece of property that I own which is the commercial property that the first location is situated on. My home address is not listed and the only address he has for me is the first location's address.  If I'm never there to be summonsed, can he then get the lien if I never have knowledge of the court case?

Answer: If he cannot locate you, He can apply to the court for permission to serve by publication.  Then he can get a default judgment and use that to place a creditor's lien on any property you own - which he can figure out through a property records search.


Title: (AZ) I believe my friend is being extorted through her child.

Question:
So I have this friend who comes to me for advice, and I've told her to go to a lawyer over this (and she did), but I believe she's being extorted for money through her child.

The kids father happens to have a few children with various women. His family member adopted one of the kids he has (my friends kid.) as part of the agreement she signed away all rights at the age of 16 in order to never pay child support. She has since kept in contact with him and continues to be a part of his life.

Fast forward to today. The "dad" got sued for child support from another woman. He has a hefty fine to pay monthly. Now his family member who had adopted their kid wants to abandon the adoption and force the guardianship to default to the parents. My friend was pretty excited about this and wants to care for the kid, but now the "dad" says the kid might not want to live with her part time and that she should pay him child support (he's brought it up several times about how she should pay him child support since he's been sued.)

Also another weird thing was that he wanted to live with her. (It's pretty obvious he's had a thing for her the past 5 years since they broke up.) She's in a happy relationship and really doesn't want much to do with him. (After this he again brought up the child support.)

The lawyer she saw says there isn't much she can do because the guardianship is going to go to her and she'll have to help support the kid. My thing is that any money she gives this guy is going to go straight to pay for his other obligations, and not towards the kid. She's offered to help in ways other than money but he always turns them down.

tldr; Ever since this guy got sued for child support he's being trying to find a way to get child support out of his ex.

Answer: Your story is confusing.  Your friend's child was adopted by someone else?  Did she maintain her parental rights?


Title: Illinois - Questions suing someone for alienation of affection and serving a minor with lawsuit papers.

Question: My husband cheated on me, there is proof including statements he made and pictures that were found on his computer. Am I able to sue the person he cheated with for alienation of affection if I have proof that he cheated? Also how do I serve someone with lawsuit papers if they are only 16? Do I serve her directly or do I have to serve her parents/guardians instead? I do plan on getting a lawyer eventually but I want to have everything figured before I retain one. Thanks legal advice!

Answer:
 You want to sue a 16 yr old for getting raped by your husband? You're really displaying your true nature. I hope *everyone you know* finds out you tried to victimize this girl a second time. Answer #2: If your husband cheated on you with a 16 year old, he committed statutory rape. You're not going to have much luck suing her for alienation of affection since she is legally considered a victim in this situation. It's not worth pursuing, if you can even find a lawyer willing to try.

Also, that's really fucked up. Both of him and of you.Answer #3: >there is proof including statements he made and pictures that were found on his computer.

Possession of child pornography is bad. Answer #4: As a general rule, when your husband rapes a minor you shouldn't try to sue the minor.


Title: I am a college student sharing an apartment with 3 other girls. My aunt sent me a birthday card with $100 cash in it...

Question: I am a college student sharing an apartment with 3 other girls. My aunt sent me a birthday card with $100 cash in it. I have evidence that one of my roommates opened the card that was addressed to me and stole the money inside (I found the card and envelope in our trash). I know there are laws against sending cash through the mail so I've been hesitant about contacting the apartment's office manager or the police but in my particular situation can I take any type legal action? (NC, US)

Answer:
 There are no laws against sending cash in the mail.

And tampering with someone else's mail is a federal offense.

However, proving which roommate did it is rather difficult unless you can get a confession.

So ask your roommates to sit down with you, tell them you found the card & envelope in the trash and ask them to fess up.  North Carolina permits single person consent recording, so you can turn on your recording device prior to the talk.  But if the perpetrator doesn't fess up you are likely SOL.


Title: Bathroom vents into hallway? [MN]

Question: I live in a dormitory. I noticed there are some black spots around a secondary vent in my bathroom. The "main" vent simply exhausts into the hallway the bathroom is located in. Is this normal?

Answer: This isn't a legal question.


Title: Is it legal to own and sell the unreleased oj Simpson book, "if I did it"?

Question: It was never released to public but I got one. Just wondered the legals of selling it

Answer:
 its been on sale for ages everywhereAnswer #2: Well if Amazon can do it - I don't see why you can't!Answer #3: Is it an ARC labeled with the term “Advanced Reader Copy Not To Be Sold?”

If so, did you receive it directly from the publisher yourself?

If it’s an ARC and you received it from the publisher yourself with the agreement you are to review and promote it, but not sell it, than no... you can’t sell it.  I was allowed to give away my copies (library patrons in my case) but I could not sell them.

Other than this one specific situation, I’m curious to hear what others have to say.


Title: Warrant issued for GF, certified mail proves it was never delivered. Officer never wrote any ticket at scene

Question:
Hi,

1-2 months ago Gf(25) was driving on a road late at night in a heavy rain storm and hydroplaned into a median. Was not speeding but had no witnesses nearby to confirm or deny. Car was pretty banged up, the median showed no damage. Police came, called tow truck and left without issuing anything.

Fast forward to today, she receives a warrant for her arrest listing "Failure to pay ticket for a violation of 'Driving at a safe speed'". We called the courthouse saying we never received anything in the mail and nothing was issued at the scene of the incident. Courthouse employee confirms that the certified mail was never received by anyone.

Options I see are #1: pay the $220 fine(plus constable fees) and accept the 2 points on GF's license

#2:Fight the ticket of "unsafe driving speed" and not have to pay anything.

Does anyone have any experience in fighting something like this? What are the chances it is dropped? More concerned with the points on the license penalty. GF is in PA.

Thank you for your help

Answer:
 No reason not to try fighting it tbh. PA doesn't seem to have a fee for fighting the ticket so you really have nothing to lose. There's a chance the cop won't even show up for court, in which case it would just be thrown out anyways.Answer #2: Spend the money and get a lawyer. There are apps out there where you can hire a lawyer for $100~ and get a money back guarantee. if they don't get it at least amended or optimally dismissed, you get your money back. The biggest cost is never the ticket, it's the increase in insurance premiums and it will always be cheaper to get a lawyer.Answer #3: You don’t have to be speeding to be driving at unsafe speeds. If she hydroplaned she was obviously going too fast for road conditions at the time. You can try and fight it, but the cops will probably give u the same explanation Answer #4: As others have explained, the fact that she lost control of the vehicle likely means it will be pretty easy to make a case that she WAS operating a vehicle at a speed that wasn't safe and proper.

That said, if there are any fees or fines or other hassles that are stemming from the 'failure to appear' and the subsequent warrant, THOSE are things that are worth fighting - because judges actually are pretty reasonable, especially if you can show that the notice went undelivered.     It's possible to plead or be found guilty of the speeding and pay it while pleading (and being found) not guilty to the failure to appear.


Title: No opt out for filming/photography?

Question:
This is in California.  We were at a privately owned kid playspace, which required waivers for safety, injury, etc.  The only way to complete the waiver at the venue is on their in-house computer.  While scrolling through the fine print I noticed a section that said (obvs paraphrasing) that they have the right to film and photograph us and use our likeness in promotional materials.

This is common with most kid-related activities  and on paper waivers I always cross this section out, check the box to opt out, and/or write a short note to the effect of "no, you may not use child's likeness for any promotional reasons".

In this case there was no option to complete a paper waiver rather than the online one and no option on the online form to opt out of this requirement.

My question is, is it legal for there not to be an opt out?  I get that it's our choice to enter the venue at all and that we could have left, but this was a much anticipated friends' birthday party and I wasn't going to punish my kid over this issue by leaving.

Answer:
 Yes that's generally legal. They don't need to give you the option of opting out of the sections of the contract you don't like.

You can opt out of the whole thing by not signing in which case your kid doesn't go in.


Title: [TEXAS] Wife and I are not divorced yet, separated, already has Child Support on me, I can barely support myself.

Question:
**We live in Texas.**

I apologize for the length of this post, but there are lots of factors involved here. I also apologize for jumping around from various topics :(

Wife and I were married for 11 years this January. We are still married, but both want a divorce. Due to the cost, we have not followed through. I found a local attorney who says he can do it for $800 - 900 because it is "uncontested" (I'm in such a poor financial position and have not saved 50% for a deposit to retain his services). We are not fighting about property or ownership of anything. At the time we were together, we were renting a small two bedroom duplex, own our own washer and dryer, refrigerator, and full mattress set. Other furnishings we bought over the years. We have two children ages 9 and 7. And the 2007 Toyota RAV4 was paid off in March 2016.
I told her if we are separating and I am leaving, then I get 50% of what's in the bank. She gets angry and states that she worked hard for that money.

I moved out the first week of December 2016. To minimize the impact on my daughters, I chose to ONLY take my own personal belongings: clothes, computer + accessories, computer desk, and that's it - literally. My oldest child suffers from social anxiety and I do not want to disrupt the household - that's why I didn't take anything else. They have their own tablets and laptops for school work, a Nintendo Wii for entertainment and plenty of toys and books. I think I did a good thing FOR THEM, as for myself, not so much :(

In February 2011 I quit my job with my employer of over 8 years due to severe back pain. I worked only a few months during the remaining 12 of my employment. I was in and out of doctors visits with my regular MD, neurologist, physical therapist, and chiropractor. My neurologist suggested i QUIT my job, due to the severity and extensive damage done to my back, he says I face possible paralysis in the coming years (my job was incredibly labor intensive). So taking his advice, I quit. Relocated to our hometown to be near our families. She too had to quit her job. I remained unemployed for over 4 years (this started my alcohol abuse, and I soon feel into a deep depression that lasted for years - I still struggle with severe depression and am currently diagnosed bipolar II with psychotic features, manic depressive, anxiety/panic disorder - and have attempted suicide 3 times). During these years she struggled with temporary jobs, one after another. She rode the city bus and was gone for up to 10 hours a day, including bus commute. Once she had a really promising future with a company, great pay and benefits. We chose to buy a house. During the paperwork process and home inspection, she was fired from her job - no notice nor reason. During those 5+ years I was the House Spouse. While I let my back heal, and dealing with my new found mental illnesses, every day was a struggle. I cared for the home, the girls, Drs/Dental visits. teacher meetings. I was always around to care for my kids.

After NOT working for 4 years, a friend offered me a job as a flower delivery driver. I was paid per delivery. It was enjoyable to get out of the house, I only worked a few hours per week. Come income tax I was blown away to learn I earned less than $2,000 for that year. I had previously earned almost $44,000 years earlier with my previous employer. I fell Into depression again and attempted suicide. I managed to keep that job delivering flowers for 1.5 years, the company went out of business. The same friend got me a job at Dollar Tree as a cashier. While I enjoyed the work, the pay was shit. This was around October - November 2016. Our decision to divorce was becoming more and more definite. My anxiety and panic attacks became more frequent. I lost that job due to poor performance.

December 2016 I moved in with my brother on the other side of town. Due to my situation, he decides not to charge me rent. I do help when I can with utilities or cash. Somehow I was able to buy a user car in my own name and credit. I had to borrow $500 from my wife, she gave me a contract to sign and even had it notarized, making it a legal binding agreement. I landed a job at a call center. She hit me with Child Support papers - 25% of my income. My new used car breaks down and remains un-driveable for over a month and a half. I rely on the kindness of new co-workers and my brother on occasion to get to work (he worked graveyards).

My depression falls even lower. I contemplate suicide. My hallucinations return and I can not trust myself to be home alone. I spend more time walking around the apartment complex and contemplating the value of my life.

February 2017 we get our income taxes done together, filing as joint to maximize payout. We split the refund 50/50. I immediately get my car fixed. Almost $2,000 spent.

March 2017 I land a great job similar to the one I had in 2010 (although it is seasonal). I immediately fall in love with my work, co-workers, my new found duties. I FEEL LIKE A MAN AGAIN. But the reality of my shitty situation hits be every single day. I earn $11 an hour, but because she's getting 25% of my income, I bring home just under $500 every two weeks. I haven't bought new clothes, I don't have a dresser for the old clothes I have, I sleep on a twin mattress next to my nephews in the 2nd bedroom at my brothers place.

I recently sent her a long email, friendly and courteous, explaining my situation and how i want her to retract (or whatever it's called) retract the child support. I am not stable, neither financially, emotionally nor physically. I suffer back soreness and feet pain daily. I think it's called vericose veins? I have hypothyroid something and require Levothyroxin, but dont have insurance nor a doctors prescription (hopefully I do well with the company I am with). Luckily I receive free mental health care and get my meds, doctor visits, a therapist and case worker - courtesy of some amazing funding and some great organizations! :D I applied twice for disability, first based on the condition of my back, second time was about my back + mental health, which has been deteriorating over the years.

I asked that she retract the child support, as we are still married and as I understand it, she can just claim that we are NOT getting a divorce and are working things out (although we really DO BOTH want a divorce). I can not support myself financially. I can not expect my brother to continue to support me. My new used care continues to have problems and requires further maintenance. And I told her also, that I can not provide a place for the girls to visit be because I dont even have space for myself. I seldom spent time with them because on my days off I sleep much of the time due to my depression and dont even want to leave the house. I have missed two days of work already due to my 'health' and have only been there 7 weeks.

---

* Can she retract the child support? I told her I would help out as much as I can, but I need to find my own stability first before I can help her and the girls.

* Due to the severity of my back and mental health status, is there some leniency or alternative, i dont know, something, something ELSE i can do? My brother says I can actually GO TO JAIL for failure to pay my child support. What If I relapse? I was hospitalized last year for 7 days after an attempted suicide. I can't afford to lose this job, it's my 4th job in 2 years, 3rd job in a year.

* I don't know what else to ask. I feel as though I am getting straight up fucked in this situation and she is NOT bending in any way. I have had to rely on her for financial help several times, and I think she LIKES it, the control she has over me (that's what my therapist and I have concluded).

Answer:
 > I think she LIKES it, the control she has over me (that's what my therapist and I have concluded).

There are plenty of reasons that custodial parents and children benefit from regular child support that have nothing to do with control over the NCP. Children cost money and both parents are expected to contribute even when it is difficult and even when it cuts into other budget areas.

Answer #2: or maybe she would like to put food on the table for the children.... and buy them shoes occasionally.  Sorry - but you do have a responsibility to contribute to the expenses of raising the children you have created.  I don't see anything in your long description of your own suffering about any effort to see the children, to help care, cook, do laundry or anything for them at all.  It is hard that you are ill.  But you appear to only be concerned about your own self.  She isn't obligated to shoulder the entire responsibility of supporting the children so you can avoid your responsibility.
Answer #3: You need a lawyer to navigate this. Check for sliding scale clinics (law schools offer this) in your area, or other family law service orgs.

I'm a little confused about "child support papers". Did she go to court? Did you skip the summons? There are formulas in place based on income/potential income.


Title: Is it legal for a producer to ask for proof that a customer's credit card is theirs?

Question: Also, is there an age requirement for buying something with a credit card?

Answer: Yes, it’s perfectly legal to ask for photo ID from someone using a credit card.


Title: [TEXAS] Crashed a Company Vehicle into a Colleagues Personal Vehicle.

Question:
[DFW] I work for a leading damage restoration company in Texas.
Was driving a company truck this morning which I crashed into a colleagues personal vehicle causing a dent/scratch on the side bumper as well as busting a tail light.
Colleague is refusing to talk to me and I'm not sure if I should even talk to him. I'm being told I may be liable to pay a certain amount of the damages before the company steps in to cover the rest.
Not sure if this is correct or depends on the insurance. I am being told by other colleagues to try and mediate it privately with the owner of the vehicle and I'm not sure if that's a good idea either.
Need some guidance before I talk to my superiors.

Edit: No damage to company car.

Answer: I don’t understand why everyone is hell bent on you not reporting it. Can you imagine the shitshow when your company asks you about the damage to their drunk and you say “oh, I was just talking to some friends before deciding whether or not to tell you.” The company has insurance and it doesn’t want to get sued. Don’t black-market this, or DIY. Also crosspost to /r/insurance if you want.


Title: Credit Card Stolen, Bank Won't Absorb All Liability Because of Due Diligence Clause

Question:
First time posting, I don't know if this belongs here and if not, I apologize and will take it down.

We are based in Singapore but the card is for an international bank.

A friend had her credit card stolen while in Europe. The thieves took it from her closed bag while she was in a train, then used it to buy cellphones.

She called the bank to report the card stolen while the transaction was still pending. They said they could only absorb 80% of her lost card liability because:

"As you cannot account for how your Card kept in a pouch in your handbag went missing while in the company of friends, we are of the view that due diligence was not exercised in safeguarding and in preventing the loss of the Card. Therefore, liability for the disputed amount will not be covered by the bank."

Is this something she can refute?

Thank you for your time.

Answer: Yes, she can try to oppose it. She may or may not be successful and it may or may not be worth her time, depending on how much the charge was.


Title: I'm a bartender in Ohio and my bosses won't hire security even though I feel unsafe at work, and have good reason to feel unsafe, and I don't know what to do.

Question:
I barred a dangerous man from the bar months ago and he's trying to get back in. He's texted other bartenders asking when I work because he's trying to get back in. He was just arrested with menacing by stalking with his ex and is currently stalking the bar. He was an army ranger and has been overseas and has serious mental issues and has it out for me. I've asked my bosses to hire security for this reason and they said that they won't because it costs too much, but if someone stays with me until I leave, then the bar will buy them a couple drinks. I am currently looking for a new job, but I can't quit because I would be screwed financially. I have no idea what to do and I fear for my safety. Below are screenshots from my coworker and boss. 1&2 are from my coworker and 3 is from my boss.

https://m.imgur.com/oY6ARCN

Answer: They're not required to hire security. You can contact the police if you feel threatened.


Title: I found out my mom was listening to some of my private discussions

Question:
I'm an 18yo student living in France.

In the past I had some drug related problems that are solved now, and my mom has always been the over-protective type.
She took away my phone and internet connection for approximatively 8months, I was forbidden from going out with my friends for 6months and basically I was only allowed to go to school and study.

2h ago I found her in the stairs going to my room, listening to me talking to my friend on discord and as I was super pissed off, we had an argument and she was repeating over and over that she still had doubts and that she had the right to listen to my convo because it's "her house "
I was wondering if she's actually allowed to do so and what I can do.

Honestly, I'm not even sure that It's the right place to post this but I don't know where else I could nor to whom I could talk about this.
Topic:
Non-US

Answer: If she can hear you outside the door, there's no right to privacy when you're speaking loudly.


Title: Urgent Care Doctor In L.A California writes vaccine waivers

Question:
Is it illegal? I hear from people that a doctor i know of charges 250 to write vaccine waivers for the moms that travel from Orange county and even the valley. Probably further who knows...

What can i do to stop this scumbag from handing out waivers without any tests and for greed?

On phone.  Sorry for text formatting.

Answer: Report it to the Medical Board.  They are actively investigating such cases.


Title: [Rhode Island] Can my university hold my transcripts for an overdue book? It's my word against theirs, but it was checked out 3 years after I graduated and I don't recall ever seeing it

Question: I haven't needed transcripts in awhile but have been considering returning to school and discovered a hold on by official transcripts. They have never called me they just emailed my old university email account, which of course I haven't checked since I graduated, and now I owe like $90. Even after I spoke to someone who told me it had been checked out after I graduated I had to pay or return the book to remove the hold. I don't really want to throw away $90 on this since, even if I can't prove it, I'm not at fault.

Answer: Yes, the university can withhold your transcripts for unpaid dues.


Title: Breaking lease. (WI)

Question: I just signed a lease for my first apartment because I could not find anything better and what do you know the very next day and bigger, cheaper, and closer apartment became available. My roommate hasn't signed his lease yet and I haven't paid my security deposit or moved in and I was wondering what my options were. Thank-you in advance. (WI)

Answer: Are you and your roommate on one lease or separate leases?  Has the landlord signed?


Title: Rights when a landlord is selling your place (South Texas)

Question: Does anyone happen to know what a tenant's rights are if the landlord is selling the place? Our lease is up on June 30th, and we will be moving to the island, but since our landlord is selling our current place we are looking to move a month early. She had an offer on the place where they were to close at the end of May, but it was withdrawn. The only language about selling the place in our lease agreement is that a for sale sign can be displayed in the last 30 days of our lease. They put one up WAY before that and we have been inconvenienced with showings for the past 3 months. So we have no idea when we're officially moving out, nor do we know what would happen if it sells before our lease is up if we don't have a place to move. We've asked multiple times to move out early, but she keeps saying "let's wait and see." We feel like we're being taken advantage of. Would it be within our rights to decline all showings since it's not in our lease agreement?

Answer:
 The good news is that if the place sells before your lease is up, you are still guaranteed to be able to continue renting at your current lease until June 30.  Leases transfer to the new owner.

Also, if there's no right to show the place described in your lease, then you are within your rights to decline *all showings* in Texas.  Texas does not allow the landlord to enter except for in the case of an emergency.

I suggest you tell your landlord that you are sick of all the showings and you are going to decline all her requests to show the place until you move out.  And remind her that you are willing to move out early.  I think she'll make the smart decision and let you move out ASAP so she can show the place... or the *other* smart decision and wait until the lease is up to keep selling the place.


Title: [AZ] Regarding self-defense in a "women's state"

Question:
TL;DR: According to my sister-in-law, she could "beat up a random stranger and it would be his fault because it's a women's state". Should I be worried?

Context: My wife and her sister had an argument. Getting fed up, my wife left the room. Her sister proceeded to speak ill about my wife - not just around me, but to me. I told her to "fuck off". She said not to talk to her like that, I responded by telling her not to talk about my wife like that. She then claimed that if I were to speak to her as such again, she would smack me. My response was that if she smacks me, I'll smack her back. She went off on a rant about it being a women's state and self-defense not being a thing if you're being attacked by a woman. My question, as implied above, is whether I would be at fault if I were to defend myself against a woman.

Answer:
 You wouldn't be at fault if you were to defend yourself against a woman. But "if she smacks me, I'll smack her back" is retaliation, not self-defense.Answer #2: Your SIL is full of it.

But you don't respond to violence with violence in any state if you want to stay on the right side of the law: you call the police.Answer #3: I don't even know what the hell that means. No, if a woman assaults a man she can and likely would get charged with assault.


Title: Red light camera ticket for "Right-On-Red"

Question:
I live in Tampa, FL and got a Notice of Violation (NOV) for "failing to comply with a steady red signal" violating statutes 316.0083, 316.074, and 316.075(1)(c)1 (I dumped these statutes at the end of this post). Here is a video of the incident: https://youtu.be/Tc8gk4I7ze4

To me, this looks very questionable. There appears to be a police officer at the opposite intersection, as well it being at around 2 AM and no traffic on the road I was turning onto.

From what I understand, this is not a ticket and I can pay it before my insurance ever hears of it, or there are any points potentially put on my license. It is tempting to just make this go away, but $158 is not such a small amount of money to me. I also know that red light cameras are very controversial in Florida right now and have heard lots of stories of red light cameras being unconstitutional.

Does anyone have any advice? Or experience with these types of things being taken to court?

Answer:
 1.  Don't copy and paste walls of text.  Nobody is going to read it.

2.  You're joking, right?  You totally ran that red light.
Answer #2: I'm with everyone else. There is nothing questionable. You failed to come to a complete stop, and the video will do you in.Answer #3: Aren't you supposed to stop at the red before turning? Kind of dangerous not to.Answer #4: I love that there's a video! You clearly did exactly what you're accused of. You are require to come to a complete stop at red lights, and you failed to do that.

As for this "controversy" you're hearing about, it's probably not going to help you. The issue was with private companies reviewing the video instead of police officers, which was an unconstitutional delegation of police power. Lawsuits have likely put an end to that practice, so I suspect the video of your recent infraction was  reviewed by the police and your ticket is, therefore, legal. You can read more [here.](http://www.sun-sentinel.com/local/broward/fl-red-light-cameras-supreme-court-20150415-story.html) Answer #5: What was "questionable"?Answer #6: You didn't stop. Also, you slowed to check *after* you entered the crosswalk.

Not only do you need to come to a complete stop, but it has to be before the limit line. Rolling through the limit line and stopping in the crosswalk would also break the rules.

Personally I think RL camera operators should give a little leeway for people who turn right on red so long as they show proper caution, but you rolled into that crosswalk pretty quick, particularly for night time.


Title: (Utah) New landlord says attached garage is not included in lease

Question: I have been living in my current unit for several years, but it was recently sold to a new owner. In all of my time here we have had free use of the attached garage on the unit. The new landlord had us sign new six month leases and nowhere does it state that the garage was no longer included in the lease. This week she contacted us and said that we can no longer use the attached garage without paying extra per person, even if we don't park our car in it she will charge us for storage space. Her argument is that because it is not included in the square footage of the house that is not part of the lease agreement. But, with this logic neither is the backyard but she does not intend to charge us extra to use that space. She has informed us that if we don't pay for the garage that she will rent it out to someone else. I worry about this because it is an attached unit and there could be safety issues, etc. I should also mention that the utilities in the garage are of course connected to our bill that we already pay. How legal is this and what recourse do I have?

Answer:
 Is this a single family home that you rent, or is it a duplex/triplex/apartment type situation. IE are you renting the whole property?

This is important. If it's a single family home, the assumption absent wording to the contrary is firmly in favor of you having access to everything on that piece of land (maybe barring a locked up utility closet or some other insignificant thing). We need to know more details.Answer #2: IANAL, but wouldn't letting the OP use the garage for 6 months raise laches which would prevent the landlord from changing their mind at this point?


Title: Going through a custody case and exhusband insists on calling me at work

Question:
I am currently in a contentious custody case. When I send my exhusband an email or text in regards to issues with our son, rather than responding to the chain, he calls me while I am at work. I have asked him repeatedly to please not call me while I am working. I work at home, but I work for a large corporation in a professional position and have teleconferences most of the day. Can he hold it against me in court that I am trying to get him to stop calling me while I am working?
Topic:
Custody Divorce and Family

Answer:
 No.

I’d write him a letter, certify it and mail it to him,  keep a copy.

From that day forward, write down each time he calls.

If it becomes an issue the court can issue a restraining order regarding the phone calls.


Title: [USA][Texas] legally allowed to convert a two story "shed" into a "cabin" type home?

Question: If I bought a two story shed from Home Depot, about 750square ft, and convert it into a home; will I run into any legal issues so long I follow any required code, and make sure it has everything done properly (plumbing, sceptic, eletrician work, water, insulation, etc)

Answer:
 To do this 100% above board, you'll need a permit and maybe a zoning variance. Then you'll need to follow all the rules.

It's too big and likely a fixed structure, so zoning rules will apply and permits are a must to build anything lawfully.

I'm not recommending it, but plenty of people build on their property illegally without permit and face no consequences. However, it just takes one neighbor to make a phone call and you'd likely be forced to tear the structure down at your own cost, plus maybe fines.


Title: Girlfriend almost off probation, got a new po. Need advice

Question:
Hello everyone, my girlfriend was sentenced to a ten year probation sentence after being convicted of possession of a controlled substance for having a small amount of marijuana tincture in Texas.

Her time requirement has been almost completely served, but she was transferred to a new po this morning when she went into her meeting. She was not notified until the night before. Her new po requested she submit a urine and breath sample, and she was too scared to go through with it.

 Can someone advise me on the best possible course of action for her to follow? Help me figure out what to expect? Thank you for reading, any and all input is appreciated.

Answer:
 >she was too scared to go through with it.

Too scared *because* she thinks she won't pass them?Answer #2: The only legal issue is that she violated her probation. She has the option to submit to the test and probably go to jail, or refuse the test and probably go to jail.


Title: As a legal US permanent resident, besides voting, what is the proper legal extent of my participation in the political process?

Question:
Sorry about the wording of my question or if this isn't the correct place for this.

I am a legal US permanent resident for more than 10 years. I know I don't have the right to vote as a non-US citizen. However, do I still have a right to participate in the political process? And if so then to what extent?

Am I allowed march? Protest? Make calls and send messages to elected politicians and other governmental bodies (_e.g._, the FCC)? How about politicians currently running for elections? Am I allowed to make any monetary campaign contributions? How about volunteer myself at a politician's election campaign?

Answer:
 >Am I allowed march?

Yes.

>Protest?

Yes, but if you get arrested, it could hurt your immigration status.  A conviction could get you deported.

>Make calls and send messages to elected politicians and other governmental bodies (e.g., the FCC)?

Yes, but don't misrepresent yourself as a voter or constituent.

>How about politicians currently running for elections? Am I allowed to make any monetary campaign contributions?

[Read this article.](https://www.fec.gov/updates/foreign-nationals/)


Title: [MN] my two adult children using my address in sibling rivalry, how do I take my address off DANCO when neither one lives with me?

Question: Just like it says, I have two adult children who, for whatever reason that I'm not completely aware of, have been involved in the court system for over a year. My one child is very good at manipulating the system and as a result has made it so my other child has been subjected to extreme damage to his reputation and criminal history. Now, my first son listed MY address on the DANCO and even though my second child had all charges dismissed, it still is in place as an additional charge for violating the DANCO. I'm tired of these grown adults dragging our family through this and especially since Christmas is coming. I want to know how I can get my address off my first child's DANCO so that my second child can come back home. He lived there with his two minor children before the DANCO and I want him back home. I'm older and need help around the house and it's getting harder. I talked to a domestic violence advocacy program and they said I need to start with law enforcement to address the issues between them honestly and otherwise I just have to wait. I don't know what that means and I can't afford a lawyer and legal aid wouldn't help. Basically, the first child assaulted my seconded child on my property but police never asked me or the witnesses what happened. They just asked my first child and accepted his statement. My second child had a TBI and other mental health issues that mean nobody will take him serious. We called the appropriate law enforcement agency to report what happened and they took the report but won't do anything else. Please. I don't know what else to do. I want my son and grandchildren to come stay and visit but I can't because my oldest son will not take my address off as his second residence and also he is manipulative and intimidating the older grandkids to do what he wants. They say they're scared of making him mad. The first time I had trouble with my first started about 20 years ago when he impersonated an officer in the woods, separated a male and female couple, and raped the female.

Answer: you get a lawyer to challenge it. then you talk to that lawyer about your options here. Your oldest son sounds like someone who is harassing YOU at this point. He's also alienating you from your other family which, depending on how old you are, could touch into elderly abuse because that is a type of abuse.


Title: Lyng to a Judge?

Question:
[deleted]
Topic:
Custody Divorce and Family

Answer:
 Lying to the court is perjury and can land you in jail, do not do it.

Nothing illegal about having bitcoin, although your drug use is a crime.  If asked any question where you think the answer in any way would require you to admit to a crime inform the judge that you would like to assert your fifth amendment privilege.  At that point a good judge will likely stop the hearing and appoint you counsel.Answer #2: You should never lie in court. It's called perjury, and it is a serious crime.


Title: Landlady basically stole money from my boyfriend and I.

Question:
I posted this on my city's local subreddit, and someone said I should get advice here. I live in Springfield, MO if that helps at all.

Michelle,  the landlady to the apartments I am living in(and currently moving out of) told my boyfriend and I around the beginning of March that we did not pay January's rent. Which was crazy,  because we NEVER forget. And if you are few days late, you get a notice. We swore we paid it, but couldn't prove it, so things had to go her way. She charged us over $600 in the rent plus the late fees, that we were supposed to pay when she charged us. We had to call her and explain to her,  we can't just pay all that at once. But,  in order to not get kicked out, we had to pay rent twice in March. We simply COULD NOT pay the late fees. I currently don't have a job, so my boyfriend is the only one working.  He makes enough,  but paying two months rent and almost $300 in late fees at once was just not in our budget.

We are moving now, and while I was cleaning a cabinet out, I found the money order receipt for January 8th.  (Seven days late,  but still paid for.)  My boyfriend calls the bank, and finds out it was cashed on January 21st.  And, it could only be cashed by the company it was made out to or my boyfriend himself. So not only did she cash it, she came back at us for the rent again and around $300 in late fees.

We were so stressed and scared that we were going to get evicted over something that wasnt our fault. And she sent us multiple "24 hour eviction notices". (Which weren't filed until a few days after the day you got them.) We just didn't have the money to pay $300 in late fees, and rent each month if we wanted to have food to eat.

My boyfriend called her yesterday and told her we wanted out now, not in a few months,  and she LAUGHED and said, "Yeah,  that won't be a problem breaking your lease." Her doing this to us feels very personal. Like she's coming after us.  (A little backstory,  we got a dog because the lease DOES NOT say you can't have one.  It says if you have an animal,  make sure it's leashed, and take it outside, and clean up after it. That is explaining a dog. My boyfriend has very bad anxiety,  and the dog helps it. So, he got her certified as an emotional support dog through his doctor. So,  she can't do anything about the dog because it's legal that he has it here,  no matter what the lease says.)

She's a horrible SLUMLORD, and people don't have good things to say about the company AT ALL. They do not upkeep these apartments, nor do they provide services they will in the lease, like security. (When my boyfriend lived here alone,  it was broken into because of a broken lock and a broken back door.)

I'm sorry if this seemed all over the place. I just wanted to share my story. We are finally moving out and moving into a house and couldn't be anymore happy to get away from that company.

I want to know just how illegal this is.  Because, it can't be legal.

We met with her yesterday and she said that she needs to "do some research" on the copies of the money order receipt and the copy from the bank that has the company's stamp on it, stating that it was cashed by them.

I don't necessarily want to take her to court,  mainly because I just want to be done with her. And,  partly because I have no clue how to go about it, or what to sue her for. But, if she doesn't give us the money back, we are strongly considering doing it.  It's not alot of money,  but we need it right now.
Thanks in advance, and sorry for the long story!

I also forgot,  in another situation,  we paid rent,  but still got a notice of eviction on our door for not paying it.  My boyfriend calls her and tells her we paid it. She straight up tells him,  she hasn't even gone to collect the rent yet.  It's in a drop box in the apt next to ours. Literally five feet away from our door where she put the notice. (Not relevant to the story,  but still infuriating and gives a little backstory on the shitty person we are dealing with.)

Answer:
  > I don't necessarily want to take her to court,

That is your only legal recourse if she chooses not to reimburse you

Just look up small claims court in your area. It is not difficultAnswer #2: >I also forgot, in another situation, we paid rent, but still got a notice of eviction on our door for not paying it.

Why do you keep giving this woman rent money without getting a receipt from her? Pay in person and get a receipt.... *always.*


Title: Cross post TwoxChromosones - please help.

Question: [removed]

Answer:
 Are we supposed to respond to every troll post that crosses twox now?

If someone was assaulted then they should call the police.


Title: Got fired for refusing to work with someone who kept calling me a gringo.

Question:
I worked as a crew leader for a landscaping company in NV off and on for two years. Last Wednesday I was sent to work with another crew because they where short on people due to two or three people quitting the week prior. I had worked with this crew a few times before and due to them being short on people and hadn't had any major issues other than that I was made to do a majority of the work while they where often either just standing around talking or nowhere to be found. There was one individual who I could tell didn't like me from the first time I met him and I could tell it was a racial thing(he was Hispanic and while I have native blood in me I'm usually assumed by others to be white). In a job like landscaping you have to have thick skin, it's all dudes and it's all outside manual labor. I can put up with a lot, and for a while I did. Now I don't speak Spanish, but it's not hard to figure out when I hear the word gringo while they are talking, then immediately after tell me to go do something(I was often the only "white guy") that it was the old "make the gringo do it". Fast forward to last week. I've been sent to work with them again the prior day I had worked and this day they made me go dump my trailer then meet them up there. I get up there and drive around looking for them at their normal work areas for a while, then finally find them. First thing the individual asks me is what took me so fucking long. I told him I had been driving around looking for them to which he huffed, put his truck into gear and said "fucking gringo" as he started to drive off. This behavior continued through the day until around lunch, when this crew simply disappears. I've been sent to help them and they just leave without telling me where they are going. So I waste a good amount of time driving around looking for them and I finally find them and start working(me and another co-worker who had been sent up there with them(also a white guy)). We went back to doing what we where doing before lunch and at some point they just left us again, without any word. At this point I've had enough and I decide we would just work on our own and I would talk to my boss about it at the end of the day. About 20-30 minutes into working by boss pulls up and starts yelling at both of us not to work so close together because we "look like butt buddies". He then tells us that we need to go help the other crew or we will be fired. I started to tell him that I refuse to continue working with that crew and to continue being called a gringo when he cuts me off and threatens that if I don't go back to work with them he would fire me. I told him "well you can fire me" to which he replied "fine" then asked me for the keys to my truck. He then preceded to force the other co-worker to go back and work with the other crew and left me stranded in another town.
The day following I was told that I needed to sign some price of paper when I went to pick up my check. This paper stated that I had quit and that my "final pay had been explained to me" even though I was yet to receive my final pay(the check I was picking up was for the week prior)

I have tried to contact the companies HR(they are a huge company) and was told they don't even have an HR. I've contacted the Nevada equal rights commission and filed a report with them and am currently waiting for word back from a lawyer. Until then I was hoping for some guidance as to what else should be done. Is there a better agency to contact than the Nevada equal rights commission? Any help or advice would be greatly appreciated.

Tl;dr was repeatedly being called a gringo at work and was fired when I refused to continue working with them.

Answer:
 >Any help or advice would be greatly appreciated.

Apply for unemployment and look for a new job.


Title: Roommate was attacked by dog.

Question:
[Florida]

This just happened about an hour ago; I'm writing this from the hospital waiting room.

So me, my girlfriend, my roommate (A), and my other roommate (B) were watching a movie in the living room when (B)'s dog comes in with a bar of soap.

So (B) goes to take the bar of soap away from him and he starts aggressively growling and snapping. When he finally grabs for the bar of soap the dog bites him in the arm, so he jumps away and runs into a different room.

So the dog runs up to roommate (A) to try and give him the bar of soap and when he went to grab it the dog mauled him in his face.

The dog literally took a chunk out of his lip.

So we rushed to the hospital and (A) is in the back with the doctors.

Now I'm sitting in the waiting room and neither of us have any idea what to do now.

Honestly any advice helps guys. I'm just at a total loss for what to do.

[Pic related](http://i.imgur.com/S8vi6cQ.jpg)

Answer:
 Dog Law specialist here.

The dog is probably going to be put down, and the owner will be responsible for the (hefty) medical bills, including reconstructive surgery. Answer #2: Holy shit, that's a nice wound.

Florida law is pretty clear on this:

> The owner of any dog that bites any person while such person is on or in a public place, or lawfully on or in a private place, including the property of the owner of the dog, is liable for damages suffered by persons bitten, regardless of the former viciousness of the dog or the owners’ knowledge of such viciousness. Answer #3: Rip dog.Answer #4: Thanks for the advice guys, I'll post an update when he gets released from the hospital.

Follow up question: Is there any laws I need to know so I can quote to inform roommate (B) of his responsibilities?

And also can roommate (B) be sued for anything other than medical bills? So far the doctor's are saying he's going to be left permanently disfigured.


Title: Multiple sites are selling prints and products with my painting on them

Question:
I've recently been alerted to multiple sites, etsy shops and Facebook marketplace are using my painting without any kind of permission. I've just gone through the process of getting it copyrighted but that can take months to go through. I is there anything else I can do? What should I do when the copyright goes through?
Thank you for any help with the problem.

Answer:
 Thankfully, as the originator of the artwork, you technically already have a copyright for your original work - the process you have likely completed is the 'Registration' of your work, which allows you to formally enforce your copyright.

What you can do, at your discretion, is to begin writing to the individuals who are using your original work and indicating that as the copyright holder you want them to cease using your work.  Alternatively, contact the hosting platform and begin their formalized takedown process, if they have one.  Some may request your registration to prove you are the copyright holder, others may not.

Regardless, get started on figuring out where the moles are popping up and whack em back down if you can without registration, and familiarize yourself with the rules regarding copyright so you can properly enforce it when the registration is finalized.Answer #2: You want to know about the [DMCA takedown notice](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Online_Copyright_Infringement_Liability_Limitation_Act#Safe_harbor_provision_for_online_storage_-_%C2%A7_512\(c\)), which allows you to submit a notice to takedown anything related to art that you hold the copyright for.    For example, [etsy](https://www.etsy.com/legal/ip-dmca/).


Title: Towing company refusing to give me my motorcycle back until the morning because the guy on the phone doesn't like my attitude.

Question: [deleted]

Answer:
 > What can I do?

Go retrieve your bike during normal business hours.

And next time don't be a dick to people who have the ability to ruin your day in a completely legal way.


Title: Violating and improper TSA experience (US)

Question:
Earlier this year I flew domestic for business. I'm a woman, and I have some tattoos. At the security screening for the return flight I was wearing a sleeveless business top, jeans, sneakers.  The body scanner showed some anomaly on my upper arm.  There's a tattoo there, so I'm not sure if that affected it.  Again I'm wearing a sleeveless top.  Woman TSA said she had to "check me".  I looked at my bare arm and her, thinking to myself, what are you going to check? In front of everyone she proceeded to thoroughly KNEAD my breast.   I was shocked. I felt sickened, violated.

This is not proper procedure. They are supposed to use the back of their hand and pass over your body, not knead your %*&$ breast tissue.  It was more thorough than a breast exam from my Dr.  (In lieu of my annual breast exam I should tell my Dr to talk to the TSA about their findings.)

The next day I filed an online complaint with the TSA through their website.  I have never heard back.  Now I know better and would ask to speak to her supervisor right then.  Since I can't do that now, what can I do? I want to know if the TSA looked into it?

I am now terrified to go through TSA for fear they will touch me again.  I realize I could request screenless flying clearance (clear check?).  However I should be able to fly without my jumping through additional hoops at my expense.  Not to mention this can take months from what I understand.

I talked to my work ombuds and was told there's nothing they can do on my behalf.  (I was curious since I was flying for work.)

Is there anything I can do now to find out if the TSA looked into and possibly corrected this agent's bad actions?  Or is she continuing to feel up women travellers? Do I get a lawyer?  File a police report? I can't imagine that any of these things would do any good.  But I'm still traumatized months later.

Answer: Did you call the number to talk to someone?


Title: Ex wife seeking a court order for a passport.

Question: My ex (Air Force officer, currently in Hawaii) has filed a motion with the family court to compel me to sign off on a passport for our 4 year-old daughter. I've previously told her that I will discuss a passport *after* our unresolved visitation issues have been dealt with. What are the chances of a judge issuing a court order forcing me to consent to a passport?

Answer: Difficult to say without way more info. Are you concerned she will take the child and disappear? If so and you have some supporting evidence, your chances of blocking the passport are decent. If you just are refusing to consent as leverage for a visitation issue, your chances are lower.


Title: Chicago , IL Is my height protected under the ADA?

Question: I am a bartender for a chain bar. I have been transferred to a bar that has TV's encircling the outer rim of the bar with TV's starting at 6 feet. I am 6'7" and it is awkward ducking all the time. Can I make corporate raise the TV's a foot to accommodate my height?

Answer: No. Tall people are not a protected class.


Title: A Guy I jokingly wanted to have gay sex with (I'm 14) is now blackmailing me saying he will tell my parents and relatives and friends the dirty talk i gave him if i dont pay him.

Question:
I know his Instagram and Facebook accounts.
I have proof if when he asked for money or he would post (blackmail).
What is the best I can do.
I am 14 years old I am really scared.
He is 22/24 years old

Answer:
 If you're 14, you might not know this one yet: you can't buy silence. You can only rent it.

You said something stupid to some guy on the internet. You're a kid, and - no offence to you personally, I'm sure you'll grow up to do great things one day - kids do dumb shit all the time. Unless you have a specific reason to believe that your parents will endanger your life or safety for talking to them, _go talk to your parents_.

What this guy is doing includes extortion, but may also include other crimes. Depending on the social context between you and your blackmailer, it's possible he's been grooming you, which is a separate offence. If you don't trust your parents, go to the police or speak to your principal or your doctor.

Nothing you did was illegal. Some of it was dumb, but dumb is survivable.Answer #2: How much are you hiding from your parents here? If you're actually gay, do your parents already know? What would their reaction be if you told them about this incident?

The correct answer is to go to the police and get the POS locked up. However, you would most likely have to involve your parents in this. Also, what state?Answer #3: Never pay blackmail. Frankly, it may be worth your time to tell your parents about this *and file a police report*. No one cares what you said online and everyone knows 14 year olds are, as a class, both moronic and desperately trying to figure out their identities. Abusing them by extorting them is abhorrent.


Title: Drunken "friend" has terrible revenge plan for ex. How much trouble will he be in?

Question:
There's this drunken idiot that I run into often because of small town life and limited social options. He thinks we're friends. We're not. Anyway, he often yammers on about his foolproof plan to get revenge on his ex girlfriend who (rightfully in my opinion) left him several years ago and moved across the country.

She's allergic to peanuts and he's going to send her a package rigged so that when she opens it peanuts will spill out everywhere. He thinks it's the perfect crime because "peanuts aren't illegal or anything." He just goes on and on about how foolproof it is and no one can convince him that this is a bad idea and he will probably get in trouble if he does this.

Now I doubt he'll ever actually do this because that would require effort and planning and he is not capable of those things, but if he somehow manages to do this one day and actually mails a box across state lines of a substance that he intends to harm someone with, what exactly is the crime he would be committing? I guess I really just want to know so that I can tell him and maybe finally get him to shut up.

As for location, we're in Illinois and she's somewhere out west I want to say Washington, but I could be wrong.

Thank you in advance for entertaining this ridiculousness.

Answer:
 Knives aren't illegal, doesn't mean that I can throw one at you.  Intent matters.Answer #2: Outside of contacting the authorities, you should probably get a hold of her and let her know to be on the safe side.Answer #3: Lead isn't illegal. That doesn't mean I can use an apparatus to shoot a bunch of it at someone at high speed without repercussions.

Your friend is an idiot and would be charged with one or more felonies. If convicted, he'll have a VERY hard time finding work ANYWHERE -- including WalMart, McDonald's, etc. That's assuming he makes it out of jail alive. Prisoners have their own code of honor, and they don't look to kindly on people who assault women.Answer #4: Assuming she is in Washington State, I bet the case could be made for [Assault in the second degree](http://app.leg.wa.gov/RCW/default.aspx?cite=9A.36.021), which is a class B felony. The penalty is up to ten years in prison and a fine of up to $20,000.

If she is deathly allergic, a case for attempted murder could possibly be made as well, although I think that is a bit of a stretch. That penalty is up to life in prison and a $50,000 fine.


Title: Injured at one job, unable to work at another because of it, entitled to compensation?

Question:
So my girlfriend has two jobs, both working with mentally ill and/or mentally challenged teens in hospital setting. They perform physical restraints as part of the job. While working at job "A" she was injured in a restraint by no fault of her own. She filed an incident report, saw their doctor who put work restrictions on her preventing her from performing her basic job duties at either job for the next three days. She has two shifts at job "B" during this time which she was forced to miss. Job "A" is claiming they have no responsibility to compensate her for her missed work. Is this right? She got hurt at job "a" because of their incompetence in responding to a crisis situation. The doctor said she cant perform the job functions. Shouldn't she be entitled to lost wages?

Edit: Thanks or the reminder bot! She lives in New Hampshire and both jobs are located in the state as well.

Answer:
 In NH, worker's comp will cover lost time from all work missed, regardless of which job the employee was injured at--as long as the job is covered by work comp.  Check with Job A's work comp carrier.

[See info here.](http://www.nh.gov/labor/workers-comp/employee-benefits/weekly-benefits.htm)

>Combined Earnings

>An employee who is concurrently employed by two or more employers subject to the New Hampshire Workers' Compensation statute at the time of injury, is eligible to receive indemnity benefits based on the earnings from all such employees.


Title: can I sue a university for sexual discrimination based on affirmative action?

Question:
Affirmative action is often based on sex and Race. my post is concerned with only the sex part.

Affirmative action , also called positive discrimination,  is often justified (in my naive understanding) by:

- it levels existing inequalities.

- it increases diversity.

According to this post: https://np.reddit.com/r/dataisbeautiful/comments/7km9al/the_effect_of_affirmative_action_on_the/ female students are no longer a minority and even appear to be a quite strong majority.

Therefore,  an affirmative action policy that favours them actually increases inequality and reduces diversity. Thus, it is no longer positive discrimination but just plain old discrimination.

What are the legal means that I can use to object to such discrimination?

 I'm a highschool senior (male) that applied regular decision to various universities many of which mention affirmative action on their website.

Thanks in advance.
Edit: the location is the united states. Universites are in various states.

Edit2: as ~~I understood~~  you made  me understand, I can't sue if I was not rejected. Thank you for your patience and sorry had I wasted your time.

Answer:
 So, just to make clear, you're wanting to bring legal action on the grounds of sex discrimination because you're a male? And your source is to quote *Reddit???*, where the source is talking about earned degrees, not necessarily admission, and not at all limited to the school's you've applied to that have denied you entry?

Umm...no. You're more than welcome to try, but if that's all the "evidence" you have, you're going to get, almost literally, laughed out of court.Answer #2: Yes, you can sue.  The likelihood that you would be successful is very low.  The important cases to look at would be *Fisher v. University of Texas*, *Grutter v. Bollinger*, and *Regents of the University of California v. Bakke*.  While those cases largely deal with race-based affirmative action, your case for sex-based discrimination would closely follow that rationale.

The case would probably not be resolved before you finish your degree, wherever you end up going to college.


Title: Can a school extracurricular activity/club force me to be clean shaven?

Question:
This is in Ohio. One club I am in asks that all male participants are clean shaven and have no facial hair. Is this something a school club is allowed to enforce? Thanks for any responses!
Topic:
School Related Issues

Answer: Well they couldn't hold you down and force you, but they can also not allow you to participate.


Title: Black suit for female defendant??

Question:
Black blazer and skirt or black dress.
Is it bad idea?

O have read some advice that you had better NOT wear black suit at court. Is it advice for only males?

Answer: There is nothing wrong with dressing appropriately for court. The court does not care about your color coordination or lack thereof.


Title: I may have committed fraud. 16M

Question: Ok so the person who used to have my number is an ass, he keeps signing my number up for shit basically using it as a dumping ground for spam and his grandmother who I’m pretty sure has dementia bacause she keeps calling and I have to tell her every time it’s not him and even helped her change the number but soon she started calling again so  I just go with it. Right. The fraud, so today I answer my phone to realise he said he’s willing to donate to a police department fund so I pretend I’m him and just sign him up for a 50$ donation and give them permission to ship it to his address. Can I be held legally liable?

Answer: The good news is that the org you signed up with was probably also committing fraud. The bad news is that you just marked your phone number as a live lead - a person dumb enough to shell out cash to a cold-calling scammer - so expect to see even more of those calls.


Title: [Tx] Harassing/threatening texts messages and calls

Question: [deleted]

Answer: Call the police.


Title: [California] Divorce coming. Wife wants me to leave name on mortgage. What could go wrong?

Question:
My wife and I are separating.  We share a house that she wants to stay in.  She can't refinance the house in her name only, using just her income.  She has asked me to refinance in our names, take out money to 'buy me out' of the house.  I would Quit Claim my share in exchange.

By the numbers, I'm satisfied.  Except my name is still going to be on the mortgage.  The new loan will be about 80% of the value of a $700,000 house.  I'm not sure my soon-to-be ex can maintain that, even with the alimony I will probably be giving her.

I just had a discussion with our accountant, and he didn't seem to care much.  He figures that if the house were to become in danger, it could be sold, so no lasting credit issues.  I'm worried about a credit hit, but what other liability could happen here?

Answer:
 She wants YOU to borrow money to buy yourself out of your share of the house.

She stops paying, and your credit is ruined, unless you want to pay the mortgage for her while she lives there.

Don't be dumb.Answer #2: There's no way I'd quit claim with my name still on the mortgage.

What happens when she gets hit by a bus and now you have to pay for a house you don't own and can't sell?


Title: [GA] Ex-bf trying to take cat from my house. What rights do I have?

Question:
I just broke up with my boyfriend a few weeks ago.  He was living in the house that I own.  During the time we were living together he became a drug addict and lost his job.  He got a new job, but was unable to contribute to household expenses any longer.  This all started in January of 2015.

Over the past year I have supported him financially.  He has paid some of his own bills, but not consistently.  I carried the entire load of household bills on my own.  Including groceries and other incidentals (including care for the cats).

Prior to his job loss we got a cat together.  I already had one cat, but he needed a friend as my other cat had died a few months prior.  He found a cat on a craigslist ad for free and brought her home.

Over the past year his addiction got out of control and I finally kicked him out of my house.  I was tired of supporting him and being treated like crap.

Anyways, now he has been gone from my house for several weeks and he has decided he wants the cat.  I have told him absolutely not and he is not allowed on my property.  He is now fighting with me saying that he will take me to court to get her back.

Does he have a leg to stand on?  If he somehow manages to come up with the money to take me to court (his family actually does have the money to do it) what rights do I have?  He is a mentally unstable drug addict that I supported for over a year.  He is saying that he is clean now, but I'm not even sure he has a stable place to live.

Answer: You said that he's a mentally unstable drug addict; so, offer him $50 for the cat in exchange for him signing paperwork agreeing that the cat is yours. If he's an addict, and is desperate, he'll take the deal.


Title: Sexual harassment at work (DC)

Question: So my mother told me that she is being sexual harassed by a supervisor at her job. My mom works as a cook in a restaurant. She tells me that she had a thing with one of the supervisor for a little while (they had sex once) and she broke things off shortly after. Ever since then she says that he is very rude to her, sends her home early, he verbally and physically sexually harasses her, and has even written her up for very little things. She believes he has a grudge on her and she clearly tells him to stop but he will not. She says that she spoke with another supervisor about it and they told her to not tell the general manager because she would get fired. She does not speak English well so I want to help her out with this situation. Please let me know what we should do.

Answer: If she believes she is being sexually harassed or is even being subjected to retaliatory behavior by her supervisor, she should report him to the general manager. If the GM does not appropriately investigate the claim, and instead fires her, she may have a viable wrongful termination claim against the employer.


Title: [CA] Parking Ticket At Community College

Question:
I'm a student at a community college and the school parking lots require parking permits. However, I usually only spend around an hour each day here so I had not gotten caught until now, which is only a week away from the end of the semester

The ticket is a pretty pricey $35, which says to send it to a "Citations Services Center", a PO box in Irvine which is very far away from the college so I believe the parking citations is run by a 3rd party service. Could I get away with not parking there or will they run my plate?

Answer: They've already taken your information.  If it's third-party, I wouldn't mess around, especially if you're admittedly in the wrong.  They could sell it to collections, or may send it to the local police or sheriff.   $35 seems pretty cheep when compared to what could happen.  Just pay the damn thing.


Title: (Military)(SC) I got married she has a son I want to adopt. Biological father doesn't to terminate.

Question:
I'm in South Carolina for another 8 months, then I have to go to my new base for 4 years, somewhere else. Idk the father but he doesn't pay child support, he had hit her, restraining order for 5 years, but no felony, and lives in California.
So I want to adopt my son but I know the father doesn't want to terminate his rights because he likes the fact he had a "son" without taking care of him. I was wondering if I should file termination papers without talking to him or talk to him first. Also if I should file now in SC (my son has lived in SC greater than 6 months.) Or wait till my new station...
Sorry about the bad English.

Answer: Not legal advice, but my brother-in-law offered to either A.) Go after bio-dad for child support OR B.) Have bio-dad terminate his parental rights to get out from under the financial support he was well past-due on. Bio-dad signed the papers.


Title: ND- Incompetency? insanity? HTF do we do this?

Question: [deleted]

Answer:
 Call CPS for starters. The welfare of the kids needs to be a priority.

Having someone declared incompetent is *very* difficult and is a reasonably lengthy process.

Edit: I'm looking for more details for you while we wait for someone from your state.Answer #2: Calm down.  You really need to explain your story, including who is who, who did what, and why a restraining order was applied for.


Title: Ok reddit... A story and a question... $5000!

Question:
Is it illegal to pretend to be a lawyer?

Story time....
I had a slum lord. All throughout the pandemic my wife and I kept our 1800/mth rent paid. We both lost jobs. My business tanked and a whoooollleee lot of personal shit happened but we ALWAYS made our rent. I did NOT want a bad rental history, pandemic or no pandemic. It took every resource we had but we made it to the end of our lease TWO months ago.

Just before we moved out the landlord came to do a walkthrough. When she did she saw all the really bad wall repairs and paint matches that HER maintenance guy did before we moved in. Every single spot was written on our condition form and I attempted to take pictures. I had even called her when we moved into let her know every section was going to have "paint does not match". But I called instead of texted so theres no "record".

Anyway she walks around and says its no problem.  The next day she texts and says that the paint is all our fault and she will be charging us for it on top of the 500 shes going to take out for a move out clean team. She will not let me clean, she will not let me find a cheaper cleaner, and does not give a DAMN that we never once painted.

A week before we move out Im still trying to convince her that its on my form, that we didnt do it, etc. We disconnect the washer and 5 minutes the valve breaks and have water all over my floor. We go to the private shut up and its so old rusted that as soon as we switch off, the handle breaks! Now we have no water. I have to call the landlord.

I let her know she needs to fix this so we can get moved up, clean, and someone else can move in. She says no. She says we have no water, so technically theres no more leak, when she fixes it she will take it out of our deposit and good luck. We shut the water off with the city, cleaned as best we could with no freakin water, and left early.

Its been two months. I have not gotten a dime of my $5000 deposit. I have not heard a word or gotten a response since and I HATE to believe that there is nothing I can do and she is gonna get away with all of this.

My big question was.... If I pretend to be a lawyer calling on my behalf inquiring about when I will be getting (AT LEAST) some of my deposit back... Will I be fucked? If I cant do that is there anything I can do??? Or do I just let this one go?

Answer:
 what /u/derspiny  said.

Pay for lawyer, or start with google and read your local laws. Many places have some form of 'to withhold deposit must send itemized list within X days or else'. And the 'or else' in some places can be EXPENSIVE for the landlord.Answer #2: It's illegal to offer legal services without the requisite licensing just about everywhere, and that can include holding oneself out to the public as a lawyer while not licensed as one. Impersonating a lawyer to try to intimidate your former landlord is relatively unlikely to work, but may also be fraud in addition to whatever charges are appropriate for unlicensed practice.

If you want to pursue your landlord and have some teeth, use the courts. That's what they're there for.


Title: [SF, CA] Inherited a house from father in Downtown SF. I have work in Memphis, TN, so can't relocate. I want to keep property for investment. However, I don't want to rent it. However, I received a letter from HOA today. They say I cannot keep my property unoccupied for longer period. Help.

Question: Either I have to live or rent it out. Or else I'd be facing fine.   I don't want to rent it, as you may be aware, SF has shittiest tenant laws in US. Once I rent, It'll be difficult to break lease if I want to.

Answer:
 Sell it (the market is insane) and buy an investment property that you can actually rent out.

Or if the HOA permits, find a management company and rent it out on AirBnB, and make sure the people stay short enough time that the SF tenants rights don't attach.Answer #2: OP, is there someone in your family that would take care of the house you could let live there and caretake?   I believe you may be able to find someone that would honor and care for it.  You would definitely have to screen hard and not use craigslist.

It sounds like it may qualify for historical status.  Maybe you can rent one room to an architect, historian, museum curator to use as an office or studio In exchange for legal help and/or care taking. You need someone who's  morals, reputation and credentials would serve as guarantee as they would never risk them.  I grew up in San Francisco and have seen houses passed down for generations without altering the house.  Good luck.

I am sad to hear of your father's death.  May his memory and spirit bless you wherever life leads you.

Edit:  deleted gibberish


Title: Considering divorce, how financially screwed am I?

Question:
So, like the title says, I am considering divorce.  We are trying to work it out, but want to understand plan B.  Live in Nebraska, have been married for 20+ years, since college.  The reality is she is lazy and doesn't want to work, the perception she could create is that she dropped out of school to put me through, then we had kids so she quit working, decided not to return to school and became a stay at home mom.  3 kids, one in college, 2 in high school/JR high.  She has been working for the last 6 month, part time, and had a business before that, but it never really turned a profit, and she worked 10 hrs per week at it.

So here is the question, my take home is about $5k/mo, and hers is about $1.2k per month.  I assume we would have some type of fairly even custody on the kids that live at home.  Any guesses what I could expect for alimony and child support?  I have been assuming about half of our combined household income would go to each of us.  Could she get half of mine, plus all of hers?

Answer: If by 'perception', you mean the *fact that* she dropped out of school and worked while you went to school, and continued working, and then stopped working, stayed at home and raised the children, and then started a part time job once the kids were in high school/college ... then yes, it sounds like she can create that 'perception'.