Title: TX-My father is currently in a vegetative comatose state caused by brain hypoxia (loss of oxygen to the brain) while at the hospital in his fourth day of stay and I need advice on medical malpractice law

Question:
He entered the hospital due to acute respiratory distress where he was unconscious but still breathing. The emergency room administered a standard ventilation device and he was put on heavy sedation, heavy antibiotics in case an infection had caused the respiratory distress (they were thinking pneumonia) and a few other meds to stabilize vitals as the reduced oxygen (he never had no oxygen and was aways breathing, although it was extremely laborious. He was also still able to respond to doctors directives adequately (open eyes, move leg, squeeze hand, etc). He was admitted to ICU and they kept him on sedatives to let his body rest due to the stress that the muscles endured as they were working extremely hard to get oxygen in and out, but they said the body or brain never went without oxygen. He just had some low levels which made his heart rate and blood pressure irregular enough to use medication to stablize. After they began to remove him off of the the other medications as his vitals were stabilized and he was responding wonderfully, after about 36 hours since admittance hours they started to wean him off of the other medications as well. He still required a breathing tube but he was very close to not using any of the suport at all. After 48 hours he was able to interact some but not talk as the breathing tube was still in. When I visited him the evening of his second stay he was fuly writing down questions and having full conversations via writing and nonverbal response dues to the breathing tube. He exhibited normal cognitive ability and seemed to be pretty much dad but just not able to speak. The doctors came to a conclusion that his throat was swelling shut during the initial incidence and therefore he was working hard to breathe because it was like breathing through a straw. His body was no longer using ventilation at all on the morning of the third day of hospitilaztion and so the doctor ordered the breathing tube to be removed. They determined he needed a CPAP machine as his oxygen levels seemed to lower when he was asleep. His throat was checked after the tube was taken out and seemed okay. I must also mention that his throat had a lot of scar tissue from radiation therapy from throat cancer five years prior but an issue like this had not occured before so getting the tube down the throat in the emergency room was noted as extremely difficult by the doctoral staff and they had an emergency trache kit taped to his chest in case of emergency. The doctors were very much aware of his history as his team of doctors (both for the cancer and other) were actually in this same medical center at this hospital and were also consulting the ICU doctoral staff. After three hours my mother noticed he was removing the cpap machine frequently and seemed very anxious. the nurses administered an anxiety pill. My mother handed him the notepad to write but he instead threw off his blankets and seemed delerious. She asked a nurse for help. The nurse came in to check and my mom said somethings wrong we are losing him and the nurse left to find a doctor. The doctor returned to the room and vitals were plummeting and he was at a zero level of oxygen. My mother was asked to leave the room. And after a few minutes a Code Blue was called over the intercom. The doctors told us that his throat was completely closed off. The doctor sent a scope down his throat to get video for a clear pathway for the breathing tube. After this he entered the breathing tube but it was very difficult. He went without oxygen for an extremely long time throughout this process. He never showed any response until the next morning at 4am when he began having seizures. THe seizures continued and when I arrived midday I noticed him having one and immediately asked for a doctor. It took about ten minutes before a nurse came in and gave him an anticonvulsive medication. The next day a trache was surgically inserted.  My father is now (3 days after the code blue incident) in a coma with a vegetative like state. His feet show pain response but his upper extremeties do not. He is completely off sedative medications and shows no signs of consciousness. When his eyes are open, he cannot eye gaze or respond to stimulation physically on command. He cannot breathe without a ventilator. My concern is that there seemed to be no preparation for if the breathing tube removal failed as well as the concern of the extreme response time and length of time his brain without oxygen in a seemingly "test" to see how he was going to do without it. The prognosis is that most likely he will not regain consciousness, and even if he does, he has a trache and paralyzed arms as per a nurse's answering of my question about his lack of response in this area (he is having no response at all in this area whatsoever). In my research it seems like doctors in ICU are trained to perform emergency procedures to get oxygen to the brain within typically one minute. I also fail to understand why no emergency procedure was prepped in case of another obstruction of airway. They didnt even check his throat after intitial tube removal! (the incident was three hours after this). And most notably, I fail to understand why he was completely deprived of oxygen before staff became involved (only after my mother alerted them). I need to know the medical malpractice laws that may pertain to this case and how to proceed from here with a comatose individual (as in how fast should I contact an attorney and is it necessary that I do this soon because my mother has power of attorney and his wishes were to have a DNR in a situation where he is showing signs of coma for an extended time period.) It is a tricky topic to address as emotions are running high in the family all around but if I need to act fast I need to know. Thank you so much for any advice I receive, it is so greatly appreciated.

TLDR: My dad was doing fine and back to himself after 36 hours but then was taken of ventilation, code blued (died) and suffered brain hypoxia due to the length of time it took doctors to react and now he is in a vegetative state.

Answer:
 Medical malpractice is very fact specific and it is unfortunately beyond the scope of this subreddit. It is highly recommended to speak with a medical malpractice attorney; your state's bar may be able to refer you to one. They typically work on contingency, meaning there is little up front cost to you. Similarly, consultations are typically free. It wouldn't hurt to meet with one, have them look over your info, and go from there.

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Title: If two people own a home together and a third person lives with them...

Question:
What happens when one of the owners wants the third person to move out, and the other owner wants the person to stay?

My husband and I got into a debate about this.  He says that if we had someone living with us and I wanted them to move out but he wanted them to stay, the person could stay.  I disagree.  I think the person would have to leave.  I know many states have laws that would require a 30 day eviction notice if someone has been living with you for a while, but I can’t imagine that an owner’s right to not have tenants could be overridden by the other owner.  The state in question is Ohio.

Anyone able to settle this disagreement?  Thanks!

Answer:
 If you both own the house you both own the house. You can't override his desire to have tenants.

You could potentially force a partition sale to remove your interest (or his) from the property and end the issue that way.


Title: [Phoenix, AZ] Rented a new apt. last month and now apt. management has implemented on gun in building policy. No one can keep gun in their apt. Can anything be done regarding this? Can I challenge them in court? 2nd Amendment?

Question:
I rented this apt. for the term of 1 year. Suddenly yesterday they implemented a new policy and trying to enforce it. They say there are a lot of children in building, so due to child safety concerns, people cannot keep guns in their apt. any time. They have given 1 week of time to those who owns gun, to either dispose it or move it somewhere outside building.

Can I do something about this crazy management ? Or am I SOL? Correct me If I'm wrong, but I cannot break my lease over this arbitrary policy. Or Can I?

Answer:
 If your lease is silent on gun possession, tell 'em they'll need to pay you to leave or you're staying put.  With guns.Answer #2: You had every reason to believe that the lease you signed would allow you to possess and keep every piece of your legally owned personal property that was not banned by the lease. They simply can't enforce this rule until your lease is up for renewal; it would be a breach of the lease on their part allowing you to move out and claim some damages for good measure.

Talk to the management and see if they'll give you the 1-year concession. If not, wait and see what they try to do about it. You don't have any damages until they interfere with your property or they try to evict you, charge you fees, etc.


Title: [GA] Found out my house is smaller than advertised

Question:
Hello,

I bought my house 8 years ago and according to the tax assessor it is 1802 sq-ft.  I have been doing drawings lately to make an addition and it turns out that the house is actually ~1576 sq-ft.
(measured by the outside edges of the house)
This causes several issues; if I get a proper appraisal for the addition loan, the value of my house goes down, if I sell this difference could be found out, I have been paying taxes based on 225 extra sq-ft for 8 years.

This was originally a VA loan and they were incredibly detailed.  They required that the bank (foreclosure) that I bought from to refinish the kitchen floors before I could buy (I ripped the floors out in the first month), but they did not notice that the house was 13% smaller than it should be?

My HOA could also cause me problems based on my lack of size (minimum is 1600 sq-ft.

Is there anything I can do at this point?

I guess I could sell and try and pass off the problems on to the next owners.  (maybe I can't actually do math  :-)  )
I could get the tax assessor to re-adjust, but can I get tax money back?
Does title insurance provide any protection against this?

Answer:
 What did your original inspection indicate as far as size? They should have indicated it on the inspection forms. How about the appraisal? (You should have access to the reports)

Yes, title insurance can come in handy here, but lI have a hard time believing that multiple people whose job it is to inspect/measure properties all managed to screw this up.


Title: Wells Fargo - you have an account, I have an account, EVERYONE HAS AN ACCOUNT!

Question:
Reference: http://www.nytimes.com/2016/09/09/business/dealbook/wells-fargo-fined-for-years-of-harm-to-customers.html

So, that's great, the employees got fired, and the bank has been fined. What about the criminal charges against the employees? Is it because (at least not that I have seen reported) the accounts were just dormant, and not in use that this does not rise to criminal on the employees part?

Answer: Investigations like this are really hard to pin down, and they want to make cases against the big fish, not just go after the small-time. There was obviously collusion here, but the higher up you go, the better the lawyers get. It'll be interesting to see how this plays out.


Title: MI- driving a reworked bus as an amateur limo service.

Question:
As the title says, my friends have a stupid idea of spoofing out an old school bus, to be used as essentially, a limo service. I was curious. Do we need to own a special license, a permit, etc.
Topic:
Business Law

Answer: Yes, you need a [license/permit](http://www.michigan.gov/mdot/0,4616,7-151-9625_21607_69337---,00.html), and insurance would also be a fantastic idea.


Title: Scammed: Eviction/Trespassing Advice?

Question:
I took my time in getting my second house (in Indianapolis, IN) ready to put on the market due to the holidays, and when I stopped by this week to collect the mail and shovel snow there was a family living there! Some scammer replaced the locks and rented it to them over the two weeks between my visits. They refused to leave, and Indianapolis PD tells me that my only recourse is to pursue eviction because the squatters thought they had a lease even though it's entirely without validity. I was advised to go to the township small claims court and advise the judge that I wanted to file for an eviction notice.

Obviously I intend to speak with a lawyer first thing Monday morning, but in the meantime has anyone dealt with this sort of thing before? It's astonishing that I can't just say "They're trespassing. Kick them out." Anyone have advice? Any real estate law firms with good reuptations in the area?

Alternately, anyone want to buy a house? I'm over it.

Topic:
Real Estate law

Answer:
 Damnit I lost my reply. Contact the local bar association in Indy and have them refer you to an attorney who handles evictions.

This stuff happens all the time and most often you must resort to the courts to effect eviction. It's possible the lease they presented to the officer is a phony lease they wrote up. It's possible another individual fraudulently representing themselves as the owner or agent of the owner changed the locks and rented out your property. In either of those cases the police have their hands tied if you want to immediately remove the occupants. They have a limited amount of legal training and importantly, time, to be able to analyze the leases, title, other documentation and statements of involved parties. They will call it a "civil matter" and be done with it. Sorry this happened to you, but it can be resolved swiftly with a competent attorney.


Title: (Florida) My girlfriend has been implicated in a domestic violence case.

Question:
Hello everyone. So, my girlfriend has found herself in a bizzare situation and I just kind of want an idea of what could happen.

My girlfriend works at a sub shop. A homeless man comes in fairly often, and she'll usually give him a free sub. They often talk a lot (I also work at this sub shop and work almost exclusively with her so I've seen this all) and he just heads back his way after he eats.

That's happened for a few weeks. We refer to him as 'the homeless guy in the red shirt' That's how little we know this man. Fast forward to yesterday, where my girlfriend was awokened by a call from our manager, saying that 'some man asked me to give you his number' and it was the homeless guys number. She calls that and the homeless guys' cousin picks up and asks who my girlfriend is and why she's calling. After she explains, they tell her that he was arrested, and my girlfriend basically says 'why does he need me to know that' and hangs up the phone shortly after, not really caring.

Later, she heads to work, and during her shift a woman walks up to her asking if my girlfriend knows the homeless man (who we will now refer to as John)

This woman claims to be the girlfriend of John, and she explains that she just got out of the hospital after he beat her. She's planning to pursue him in court, and goes on to explain that John was saying that he was cheating on her with my girlfriend.

At this point I would like to mention:

1. As I said before, my girlfriend and I work together. We're with each other practically 24/7, so I already know she's never seen him outside of Subway.

2. John has never seemed like a crazy or weird guy. He just looks like and acts like your average 30 year old guy.

I mention point number 2, because its not as if we can just write off anything he says as crazy.

John's girlfriend begins to question mine, as he has been constantly mentioning her. After some exchanged words and my girlfriend explaining who she is and her relation to John, the woman believes her. However, she tells my girlfriend 'I'm going to talk to my lawyer and get back to you, but I might need you on record'

So with all that being said, what are the implications of this? Could my girlfriend need to make an appearance in court, is it possible she could also be pursued in court if he continues to claim that him and her were a thing?

Thank you.

Answer: At the moment, there's no "implications". Very likely going forward, there will continue to be nothing. Crazy people say crazy stuff. If she does receive anything from the court she should not ignore it.


Title: [FL] my employers are making me prepare food that I feel is unfit for consumption, what are my options?

Question: [deleted]

Answer: Time for a surprise health inspection!


Title: [Canada] Someone broke my phone's screen

Question: Idk if I can do anything but I'm a poor student and someone broke my phone's screen. Basically I was standing in the hall for one of my classes, the hall was quite crowded but I was standing to the side and my phone was held firmly in my hands against me so its not like it was my fault for dropping it. The person ran past and hit my phone out of my hand with his bag, cracking the screen (it was in perfect condition before, no scratches. He refused to pay me but it costs $250 US for a repair from Samsung (s7 edge) and I really can't afford it. Is there anything I can do to make him pay all or part of it?.

Answer: Go to one of those battery stores or phone repair stores. They'll replace the glass for fraction of that. Answer #2: Not a legal advice, just a life advice: A $50 phone case would have prevented $250 in damages. Also a certified pre-owned phone of the same model is USD$195. The full screen assembly sells for US$160. If you don't have the money, do what you gotta do. Find some work or sell some property you don't want as much as you want a new phone or sell your blood plasma. I dont know what works best for you. It would be infinitely easier to do that than it would be to make a person pay for your phone.


Title: Paid a photographer for pictures, she lost all of our pictures due to a computer crash. Only wants to give us 80% refund. [ohio]

Question:
Hello! My boyfriend and I paid a photographer (who is starting up a business) $300 to take photos of us. She had promised us that we would have 30-40 photos in 2 months, and that they would be large enough for canvas prints. Around the 2 month mark, we inquired since we hadn’t heard anything and she said she had some stragglers but they would be uploaded within a week. 2.5 months later she notifies us that her computer crashed and she hadn’t saved the pictures to an external hard drive so she lost all of them. After taking her computer to tech support they were able to recover a number of them but a lot of data had been lost and the resolution was no bigger than a 5x7, and she only gave us 3 pictures at the size of a 5x7. She now is offering only an 80% refund because she spent hours working on the pictures.

We would like a full refund since we have nothing to show for the $300 besides a couple 5x7’s (which I could have printed from pictures we took on our phones). And the deals we bought for canvas prints all expired since she took so long to upload them, which was another $100 or so.

What can we do? Thanks!
Topic:
Small Claims Procedure

Answer: If she refuses a full refund you can sue in small claims court.


Title: A business purchased property next to my land and they're using my driveway, with their dump trucks and personal vehicles when we have the right-of-way.

Question:
This house of mine has an easement through the driveway, and part of the deal when we got the house 22 years ago was that WE have the right away towards the driveway. This family owned business purchased property right next to us and have been using my driveway to build their new property, sending in dump trucks, trailers, other trucks etc while blocking the driveway from people coming and going. Matter of fact, i  went to pull in to the driveway the other day and as I'm trying to pull in a big ass fucking truck was about to pull put and almost hit me, luckily I turned before into

I respectfully asked the man who bought the next door property not to block the driveway and that they can't use it, considering they have their OWN driveway to use if they wanted too and that WE have the right of way towards the easement.

The man said "we own the driveway now, and you have permission to use it. So you're SOL. You can purchase it from me if you want too."

Legally, what do I even do here? Who would I contact about this?

Answer:
 You're confused. Your neighbor is correct.

He owns the property and has a right to use his own driveway.

The easement means that you ALSO have the right to use the driveway.  And while you have a right to use his driveway, you do not have the EXCLUSIVE right.

It doesn't matter if he has 0 other driveways, 1 other driveway, or 30.

\> The man said "we own the driveway now, and you have permission to use it. So you're SOL. You can purchase it from me if you want too."

Yep.  He's exactly correct.

\>  we've been here 22 years and they've only been there a year.

That has nothing to do with anything.


Title: In a traffic stop, I was asked to get out of the car after saying "I'm going to remain silent." He did the "follow my finger test" without any reasonable suspicion.

Question:
Did I have the right to refuse? (Utah)

Edit : why all the down votes? I'm just looking for information and I'm not being a dick about it.

Answer:
 To get out of your car? No.

The the finger test, sure. Answer #2: You don't know if he had reasonable suspicion or what it was.  He doesn't have to tell you, he just has to be able to explain it later.

You purposefully decided to escalate the situation by refusing to answer a harmless question, and managed to make the whole encounter longer and more unpleasant for yourself.  If you had refused a sobriety test, you could have found yourself with a suspended license, all in the name of exercising your rights.

There is no reason to intentionally antagonize an officer in such a situation, and you were treated accordingly.


Title: [NY] Bank overcredited than double withdrew my account WEEKS ago.

Question:
I cross posted in Reddit Personal Finance. I wonder if anyone else experienced this. Online bank "Simple" has switched partnership. So all routing and accounting numbers where new. Customers like me had to update direct deposit.

I informed my accounting dept. They said it would take a week to update the info. So for one weekly paycheck I'd receive a paper Chase Bank check.

I recieved and deposited the check on Wednesday the 4th. The deposit went through but double credited. ~~Then went back to single credit.~~ Emails from Simple said things like this might appear as they move money. I do not touch the **extra** money but I use almost all of this paycheck for rent.

Fast forward to a week later (Jan 11) and my direct deposit goes through to Simple. Then a number equal to last weeks paycheck is withdrawn, credited, then withdrawn twice more leaving me -150$

It's been weeks now and they have yet to return the money from the Jan. 4 deposit. I've called everyday and the only thing they can tell me is "they are looking into it"

I'm fine being patient but is this right? Is there more I can be doing? I was without any money for an entire week and I'm missing a whole week of pay!

----------------------------

Updated with a more accurate timeline. A single credit is what is missing.

Simple customer service was contacted again today and once again had no new information. Story is the same as before. Employer/BOA say they paid ADP/Chase. ADP/Chase says nothing is wrong on their end and they paid Bankcorp. Bankcorp and Compass/Simple can't communicate. Bankcorp/Simple says that there wasn't enough money in the account ADP/Chase was paying from. Still going to call the Fed and complain. This is very frustrating.

Answer: Your banking services are provided by Compass Bank who are regulated by the Fed, 888-851-1920.


Title: I accidentally dissolved a corporation that wasn't mine; now they say I owe them $5k

Question:
I live in California and had a business that was incorporated in Delaware. I decided to close my business since I was pregnant and not going to be making any money after the baby came. So I went through the paperwork to dissolve the corporation in Delaware. So far, so good.

My business (call it Yayaya, Inc) was also registered to the California secretary of state since I do business in CA so I have to pay the franchise tax and all that. I wanted to make sure they knew the business was dissolved, so I went to their website, downloaded the form (http://bpd.cdn.sos.ca.gov/corp/pdf/foreign/corp-surr.pdf) and filed it.

A couple of weeks later, I got a letter back from the SoS saying my form was the wrong one, I should fill out the enclosed paperwork instead. So I filled out the papers, and sent it back. Big mistake. Apparently the forms they sent me were to dissolve a CALIFORNIA corporation. Which wouldn't have been bad except there was ANOTHER company named Yayaya, Inc in California. Which I just filled out paperwork dissolving.

I found this out when I got served a letter from a judge, and then got another letter from the legal firm they contacted to fix the mistake - a bill for $5000 for all the work they did to un-dissolve their California corporation. I doubt the Secretary of State is going to accept responsibility for the mistake, although I do have the letter from them saying I sent in the wrong form (which was really the right form). How do I deal with the law firm who sent me the bill?

I am in tears thinking about having to come up with an extra $5k while trying to take care of a newborn; we are stretched thin as it is and this is really stressing me out. Any help would be much appreciated, even if it's just "hey, you should talk to this kind of lawyer." Thank you all so much.
Topic:
Business Law

Answer: Dissolving a corporation in any state, let alone California, is a long and involved process that includes verification that the corporation does not have outstanding debts, among other factors. It's not likely that you actually fully dissolved the California corporation on accident.


Title: I found a GPS tracker on my car

Question:
I’m 41 and I’ve been married 17 years. Since my spouse has been acting odd (i.e. texting my location to me without me revealing it). He had me title my brand new car to his company as a company vehicle so he could get a cheap insurance rate. I have the title in hand (out of his files) and I’m not sure it’s been filed with the state yet.

Today, I found a tracker in my trunk. The company is SpyTecGPS. It’s flashing. I think the title move was to claim my car as a part of his “fleet” and get him out of any criminal charges.

I’m trying to play this cool, but at this point I’m thinking of going to the police. As far as I’m concerned, the marriage is over. I’m just not sure where to start.

Topic:
Custody Divorce and Family

Answer:
 Divorce attorney if the marriage is over.

I'm not sure you would get criminal charges even if its intentional unless you had exclusive right/use of the car.

I would take the time now to sit down and do a review of finances and plan out how next 6 months will unfold assuming A) He moves out and B) you move out. Answer #2: There's some chance he and you have conspired to defraud his company's insurer, by using their preferential rates for a vehicle that should not be covered. That's a risk you should discuss with your divorce attorney, along with discussing how to recover either the car or its value out of the marital assets during your divorce.

The tracker itself may or may not be a legal issue. He can certainly claim that he has trackers in all of the company cars - and it may even be true. You can claim that this is not a company car, and if this kind of tracking is illegal where you are, then you can pursue that. I would expect you'll want your divorce lawyer's input on how important this is, and, realistically, I'd also expect the answer to be "not important at all."

Obviously, either turn the tracker off or use a different car if you don't want your movements tracked. Be prepared for the company to demand that you return their vehicle, too.Answer #3: And if you do meet with a divorce attorney don't drive the car, it's being tracked.


Title: My employer fired me (and are supposed to get law enforcement involved) for theft without evidence.

Question: A week ago I walked out to my car in the work parking lot and noticed that my bumper on my car was detached a little bit on the passenger side and that my front license plate was bent. I noticed that the truck in front of me was really close and his bumper matched up to where my tag was bent so I took a picture, but not a very good one, and got in my car and pulled up beside the truck and got back out to take one last look at the bumper to see if there was any of my paint on his bumper (there wasn't) then I got back in the car and left. My car is kind of old and I only use it to go to work so I didn't care about the bumper, I popped it back in place and forgot about it. Yesterday morning they called me in to the HR office with two other members of upper management and showed me the video from the front angle. When I walk to my car, I'm behind the truck that backed in to me and you can't see me. They are accusing me of stealing the hitch and ball from the truck. They never showed me but they said they had evidence of the truck coming into the parking lot with the hitch on it and then later me behind the truck and then when the truck leaves that evening there's no hitch on it. We had another meeting this morning about it and they told me to admit to it and bring the receiver hitch back and we could discuss my future at the company or don't admit to it and they will get law enforcement involved. I told them I can't admit to something I didn't do and there was no evidence that I did do that and they fired me. I'm not worried about getting into legal trouble because that video does NOT show me stealing anything. I want to know how I should proceed with the fact that I wrongfully got fired for theft without evidence. Thank you for reading, I know it's long.

Answer:
 The firing is legal. They don't have to prove it. It isn't a court of law.

Answer #2: All that and you couldn't put a location.

Do you live in Montana of possible DC? If not, file for unemployment and find a new job


Title: Is it legal for me to swear at prosecutor after verdict set as not guilty/dismissed?

Question: Have a traffic ticket that I’m pretty confident will be dismissed because cop didn’t understand the law, so what happens if I go to traffic court get ticket dismissed then flip off cop/prosecutor?

Answer:
 You might be in contempt of court.

I'm not really sure what you think you stand to gain from an emotional outburst in court.Answer #2: No, it's not legal. You'll get cited/fined for contempt of court and maybe even thrown in jail depending on how mad you make the judge.


Title: Got scammed on okcupid, what should I do

Question: I matched with someone on okcupid this morning that wanted to video chat. Video chatted, turned out to be fake, and the guy got a video of my dick and my facebook account. Threatened to share video if I didnt pay $450. Freaked out, sent $450 over Xoom, and then he demanded $550 more. Almost sent it but decided not to. Idk if he decided to send the video to my family members or not. I have his full name and address, what can I do? This guy lives in the Phillippines.

Answer:
 First: stop sending/showing your dick to internet strangers. No one seriously wants to see it.

Second: you stop paying and stop contact. Either they move on or they share your video. Either way, it is the only way to stop paying. They will only continue to ask for moneyAnswer #2: It's called extortion, call the police and make a report. They likely can't get your money back though. And for the love of god don't ever send nudes people, they will get out.


Title: [WA State] Bought a used car without a bill of sale and found a sketchy surprise when I took it home, seller won't contact me back, what are my options?

Question:
  I don't know how much of this is relevant so I'll just state the facts. Also, feel free to play the dumb dumb dumb theme song from south park in your head while you read this. It's playing in the back of my head right now.

  I bought a used car on craigslist last week. The person who sold the car, said it was his wife's car, so her signature is on all of the paperwork. According to him it was actually originally a family member's, they sold it to the husband and wife, and they no longer wanted it.

  We arranged a meet up spot, the seller brought out the certificate of ownership, it had his wife's signature on it, he told me where to sign it, then we parted ways.

  And then i learned when I got home, that I needed a signed bill of sale from both parties to register the car in my name. I didn't have one. The car has the owners manual, temporary insurance paperwork for the seller's wife, and the aforementioned certificate.

  When i tried to put gas in the car, i also found the gas cap had a lock on it, I didn't have the key and the owner hadn't mentioned this. I took it home and spent all day trying to figure out how to open it, until we found a screw in the lock mechanism that breaks it, if it's angled right, letting you unscrew the gas cap.

  I see two ways of looking at this, the first is the guy didn't mention it because he didn't want to make it less likely I would buy the car, the second is that the person who owned the car isn't the person who sold it to me. Although that is all speculation. I haven't been able to verify the VIN or plates through any online services.

  I tried contacting the seller a few days ago both by text and by leaving a message on the phone and he hasn't responded to either one. And I know this will shock you. But, I'm pretty sure at this point he isn't getting back to me.

  My question: is there a way to register the car without the bill of sale if I have the signature of the owner? Should I go to the DMV and try to register the car anyway? Finally, do any of you have an idea for what sort of situation could this be worst case scenario for me?

Answer: Sounds like you maybe bought a stolen car. What happened when you tried to register it with the DMV?


Title: [Virginia] Why am I being subpoenaed for an accident I wasn't charged with?

Question:
About 3 weeks ago, I was rear ended while I was leaving school. The person in front of me stopped abruptly, causing me to slam on the brakes. I was able to come to a full stop, however the girl behind me wasn't able to do the same. She caused about $800 worth of damage to the vehicle and was charged with following too close. We settled it with insurance and I wasn't charged with anything.

However today I got a subpoena to come to court as a witness. I don't have time nor do I really want to go but I'd rather not be fined for contempt. So why am I suddenly needing to go?

Answer:
 A subpoena is not a request. You are court ordered to go. Like it or not.

There are either criminal or civil proceedings in which your testimony is being requested. Go.


Title: Is it OK for a 21-year-old guy to be dating a 17-year-old girl in Texas?

Answer: Moral questions aside, the age of consent in Texas is 17.


Title: [PA, US] A local bar gave my debit card to an unknown patron, do I have legal options?

Question:
I opened a tab at a bar that my friends and I frequent. I bought a few drinks and went to close out my tab at the end of the night.

When I told the bartender my name, he looked through the cards he had and informed me he didn't have a card under that name. I showed the bartender my ID and he acknowledged that he had served me a few drinks and recognized the name. After some pressing, he admitted that he had given my card to another person a little while earlier. The bartender stated that the person he gave my card to was "very drunk" and was unintelligibly slurring. According to the bartender, the drunk patron wanted to close his own tab, but the bartender could not understand the name. He said he asked the patron "three or four times" whether or not he was handing him the right card, and the patron said that it was indeed his card.

By that time in our conversation, another bartender had shown up, and I asked the two of them if there was anything they could do. The stated that the only option was for me to call my bank to cancel my card and to call the bar's owner if I was "upset" about the situation (which I clearly am).

I am not sure if the person who took my card continued to use it at other bars or establishments throughout the night, and I will not be sure until tomorrow when I can call my bank.

Any advice?

Topic:
Other Civil Matters

Answer:
 1.  Close account.
2.  Send notice to bar that if you get charged anything, they have to pay it.
3.  Go to a different bar next time.


Title: if Jim Halpert has a gun can he legally use it to defend himself in this scene?

Question:
hypothetically. if there was no pepper spray. Jim Halpert draws a concealed carry gun and shoots Roy. will it considered "reasonable" and "proportionate" force self defense? will Halpert be in trouble or will he be justified? thanks.

[https://imgur.com/a/JutIkr9](https://imgur.com/a/JutIkr9)

from the opening scene of the office. season 3 ep 18.

Answer: ...the real question is whether he could convince a jury that deadly force was necessary given the size differences in the attacker/defender.


Title: Caffeine and due diligence.

Question:
Hey, reddit. I have something of a hypothetical question after a recent incident. Located in Tennessee, and a couple of weeks ago, I stopped at a popular coffee chain and bought my husband and I each a drink. I specified to the barista several times that my husband's drink needed to be decaf, and she repeated the order back to me to verify. It might be worth mentioning that this is one of those chain locations in a grocery store, so it wasn't very busy and only had a couple of people working, though I'm not sure if that matters. Anyway, my husband consumed about a third of the drink before he became very pale and informed me, "This isn't decaf." He has a heart condition that requires heavily moderating his caffeine intake, but the doctors have said decaf is fine, and he drinks it at home fairly regularly. He ended up having a minor arrhythmia that we were luckily able to stop with an increased dose of medication.

We called the coffee chain the following day to inform them of what happened. They offered us a free drink. Granted, we don't really have any damages here and don't plan on shopping there again. However, we were wondering if an incident like this were ever to repeat, would the chain be in any way liable? I know that people with food sensitivities are required to exercise due diligence when dining out, but what else can we do besides specify that he can only drink decaf? Is that enough due diligence?

tl;dr that one coffee place gave my husband caffeine after being repeatedly told not to and made him sick. Now we're wondering where the line of due diligence is and how much they might be responsible.

Answer:
 Decaf has no legal meaning other than less caffeine then regular. You have no ability to prove they didn't use decaf.

>coffee place gave my husband caffeine

Because he ordered it.


Title: I turned myself in at a therapy/rehab program for depression and alcohol, and they were very shady and made things worse. I need help/advice?

Question:
Here is my story and overall experience at the program, I just typed it and have not yet edited it, but I made it a point not to lie or embellish this as I want to leave it as a review to warn future prospective patients (the company is only ~1month old). The owners won't reimburse me the $2500 I spent, and are referring me to speak to their lawyer. I have all my emails and text messages with them.

TLDR; As soon as I paid they stop caring about me. They are a new company, unstructured and unorganized, and their own employee told me that the company that had referred them to me got shut down due to insurance fraud and kickbacks (using the patients insurance money to pay the patient to be a part of the program).

"I spent a Friday 12/9/16 to Monday 12/12/16 as an in-patient care client at this facility. I was referred to this program via another in-patient care center I had contacted which was shut down. First off, the in-patient care is a duplex with 3 bedrooms and one bathroom upstairs a living room and a kitchen on each side (females on one side and males on the other). I was given the office downstairs which was converted into a 4th bedroom. There was no lighting in the room except for a lamp next to the bed and no fan.

I was staying with 3 other guys on one side and 3 girls on the other side (one of the girls left on Sunday however). From what I was told, myself, and one other patient/client were the only new clients at this facility, all others were grandfathered in from another facility which had shut down. Spiritual Growth Therapy is a very new company and had just opened in mid-late November from what I was told.

Over my stay I was told by one of employees of the company that a lot of similar programs (including the company I was referred by) were shut down due to insurance fraud and patient/client kickbacks. Basically the company gathers insurance money from the client/patient and uses part of the insurance money to pay the patient/client to enter the program, and/or offer other bribes [such as free rent, free cell phones, etc..] to be a part of the program so that the program looks like it has a lot of clients). I was also told stories of how these rehab and therapy centers will; constantly open and close due to the amount of fraud in the industry, pay money for hardcore drug users' urine and even go as far as paying for drugs for the patients/clients in order for them to relapse, go back to detox, then return to the company, gather more money from insurance, and let the cycle continue. This is apparently a large ordeal for therapy and rehab centers in California and Florida especially (as well as all over the USA). Just do a internet search for “florida insurance fraud kickbacks therapy rehab” (here's a link https://www.google.com/search?q=florida+insurance+fraud+kickbacks+therapy+rehab) and you can see what I mean.

So given that information (which was told to me by an employee of the company), here was my personal experience and impression of the program. The program was not well structured or organized for a person needing the help of an in-patient care center. As soon as I paid them and entered the program it was like they had my money and no longer cared about me or my well-being. I was left alone at the house all weekend to come and go as I pleased with no help whatsoever (employees, known as “tech's” were at the house, but no rules were provided). A urine test for drugs was done the first night (~midnight), but no breathalyzers or alcohol tests of any kind were given at all during my stay (I did mention this to them, so hopefully they will fix that). I signed a contract my first night, but that didn't mean anything as nearly all the rules were constantly broken (lights out after 11pm, no TV or cell phone from 9am-4pm, etc..there were a lot pf rules and very few that were followed from what I could tell aside from cell phones being taken up on weekdays between 9am-4pm, but I was never given a copy of the contract even after asking and being told multiple times I would receive one). For instance, I heard people and the techs going inside and outside all the way until at least 1am (the techs didn't even know what the rules were, and when the clients/patients said the lights out rule was midnight the techs believed them-though they still didn't follow it). I was told I would be given a “grocery card” Saturday morning and be taken to go grocery shopping. I received $50 cash late Saturday night (~10:30pm) and was never taken grocery shopping during my entire stay. Given that we were allowed to come and go as we please, many of the patients/clients were out getting taco bell, going to the gas station for snacks, and some even went out to parties. Given that there was alcohol being sold very close, within walking distance, and no breathalyzer tests or alcohol tests of any kind were given (as well as none given since the opening of the company as told to my by some of the client/patients), alcohol was easily accessible and just as, if not more convenient, than being at my own house. I basically slept the majority of the time I spent there, aside from the time I spent with the other clients whom were all very friendly and nice. It wasn't until Monday around 2pm that I was woken up to go on a walk, then go to the group session (of which I was told was suppose to start at 6:30, though we didn't leave until nearly 7, and it didn't start until after 7:30, though I was sent to the therapist and not part of the majority of the group therapy). The last 30min-1hr of the therapy or the part of the group therapy I experienced was basically chatting and small talk between the 3 clients and the therapist that were grandfathered in from the previous company which had been shut down.

Overall I would never recommend this therapy program to anyone, I'm sure there are better options out there, and I would highly recommend choosing a well established program. Upon leaving Monday 12/12/16 and asking for a refund because of the terrible experience at the program, the owners and employees have been neglectful, barely communicate back to me (they explained they needed a formal letter in writing asking for reimbursement, which I provided via email, then I did not hear back for a full week and only after I text messaged the cell phone of one of the employees inquiring about my letter). They have referred me to their lawyer, and do not seem to care whatsoever about me or my well being as they showed me the entire time I was in the program from the minute I paid them."

Answer:
 I'm not sure what help or advice you're looking for.

IANAL, but I ran drug rehab and addiction treatment centers for a decade, and I can tell you that your experience is frighteningly common (and indicate of the reasons I got out of the business).

If this place is as i envision, you signed a ton of paperwork when you entered the program that insulates the program and its staff from efforts to hold them accountable for scamming you. They may pay lip service to giving you money back, but I'd set low expectations.

Did insurance pay for any portion of your stay, even just initial detox?

I'm guessing not. However, if they did, your insurer would be very interested in this detail so they make sure this facility gets no further business from them. They have much more power to go after a center than a patient does for providing substandard care.

Large insurers are also working closely with attorneys general to try and stop this kind of bullshit.

In case this facility hasn't been reported, I'd encourage you to also call the attorney general of your state.

Finally, program like you're describing are often heavily reliant on the internet for clients.

Thoughtful, detailed online reviews are very influential, particularly for smaller programs that don't generate tons of reviews. Trust me on this - negative reviews that are well-constructed can be very damaging. See if you can get some other patients to write them, too.

PM me if you have more detailed questions, or need further help.


Title: Can I present a gym with a formal legal complaint to terminate a contract?

Question:
Location: New Jersey

So I stupidly joined a gym without really reading over the terms and conditions too much. Lesson was very well learned. It's been nearly a year and after about 6 months in I got a back injury and had to stop working out for a while. So I asked the gym if I could simply temporarily freeze my account. While it was possible, there were a lot of hoops I needed to jump through, including proving that I was dealing with a serious injury signed off by a doctor. I moved 7 hours away from my regular doctor and went to a new one, who would not sign anything (I don't blame them, I get muscle spasms/pinched nerve issues in my lower back which hurts like hell and takes a while to heal, but working out would ultimately help prevent it). (I also formed an eating disorder and have been waiting months to see a specialized doctor for it. The gym was a dangerous environment for me and I really don't want to return).

So I decided to just quit the gym. That would prove to be even more difficult. I went to the gym in person with a written notice that I would be quitting. I also asked to have a copy of my contract, as I do not have one. The manager wasn't their and the person at the desk couldn't get me one. I called the next day to try to speak to the manager but again, not there. A message was left for him both days to get back to me. He did not. I've tried calling corporate but they told me that they wouldn't deal with it, but that they would send me a copy of my contract via mail. They did not. I let it go due to my busy scheduled but now that the contract will soon auto renew, I am trying to again handle it. I've again called corporate and the gym to have a copy of my contract and have yet to receive it. I have been told the many steps I need to go through to cancel my membership but each time I have been told something different, adding more and more steps each time (need to send a certified letter to corporate and all that jazz, I am working on all of it).

I understand that I got myself into this mess and I am an idiot. However I am pretty peeved that I still do not have my contract which would actually prove to me what I signed and have written instructions on how to properly quit.

I work as a paralegal at a law office though I am new and am obviously not expert however two attorney's at my office are willing to sign off on a complaint if I draft one. Would this actually work or just create an unnecessary mess? All of my communication with the gym has either been in person or over the phone so it is tough to prove and I was not documenting my communication at the time. I just feel angry and defeated. Canceling my credit card and dealing with collections and a shot credit score almost sounds easier to handle at this point.

Answer:
 >Would this actually work or just create an unnecessary mess?

No one here has any idea how the gym will respond to some written legal threat.

At the end of the day, the procedure outlined in your contract is the procedure you agreed to undertake to cancel.  It may stand to reason that you demand that the gym produce the signed contract in which this is outlined.


Title: Bank coming after me for old credit card debt, Fraud with malicious intent [OH]

Question:
When I was younger, I was a bit careless with expenses, however, I've spent the last 6-7 years getting my finances straightened out. Started making sure all my bills were paid, taking care of old debt, etc. My credit is pretty damn good at this point.

Today, I noticed a voicemail from a call I'd missed last week. It stated I'd be served papers that day for Fleet bank (since bought out by Bank of America). I called the number they'd left, and they want over $8000, plus a $1000 fee for filing the suit, for a $2800 debt from a credit card I'd "closed" in 2006-7. They stated it was active from 1995-2006, and I'd kept up with it during that time. I'm being sued for attempt to defraud with malicious intent, and a few other fun sounding charges. They offered to let me pay back the original balance right now, and they'd drop the suit.

The one attempt that was made to contact me prior to this was a letter mailed to an address I haven't lived at in 11 years. They stated, "since the mail wasn't returned, we assumed you got it". I've lived in at least 7 places since then.

I asked to receive documents related to this account to determine if this was valid. A 20 year old account that I'd paid for 11 years seems like something I'd remember. I was told there would be about a 250 page document, and I won't see it until the trial, and I'd be charged $9 per page for this document.

I don't recall this card, balance, credit limit, etc. During the mid- late 90s, I did let my (now Ex) stepfather open a credit card in my name. I don't know if this was that card.

Essentially, I hung up on the paralegal saying "send it to the county, they know how to get in touch with me" with the plan to lawyer up.

What rights do I have to the information? What should I expect? Plan for? Any advice would be very much appreciated
Topic:
Credit Debt Bankruptcy

Answer:
 Don't pay anything. They are bluffing. If you actually get served, sued, whatever see a lawyer.

The Ohio statute of limitations for consumer debt is 6 years, meaning, even if the debt is from 2007, they are already too late. And if even if they weren't they'd still need to prove the debt per the [FDCPA](https://www.ftc.gov/enforcement/rules/rulemaking-regulatory-reform-proceedings/fair-debt-collection-practices-act-text).


Title: What would be likely to happen if I call the police to investigate marijuana in minor stepson's bedroom (NY State)?

Question: How much quantity would be necessary to result in arrest and sentencing to juvenile detention? No prior arrests.

Answer:
 Can you, stop posting variations on this? There's nothing stopping you from growing a spine and BEING A PARENT.

Why don't you just go into the room and throw it out like an adult? You want to give your son a criminal record for this?


Title: [PA] Is it possible to steal your own car from a towing company?

Question: Visited a friend in Pennsylvania this weekend and wound up getting my car towed from the apartment complex he lives at. The towing company wanted $200 for getting the car back so I was pretty pissed off at this. My friend drove me to the towing company the next day to retrieve my car and nobody was around so I called and they said they'd be back in 30 minutes. Conveniently, the gate to the towing yard was left open. I decided to say fuck it and went inside the yard, started my car, and drove off lol. Now I'm back in my home state far from Pennsylvania and I'm a little worried what I did was wrong. the towing company called me back twice but i didn't pick up so I guess they probably noticed a car was missing haha. is this illegal?

Answer:
 >is this illegal?

Yes...you think you are the first person to do this?

You are now facing a trespassing charge to begin with.Answer #2: You're asking is trespassing is legal? No trespassing is not legal. You could be in a lot of trouble if they go to the police. *Probably* they will just take payment right now.Answer #3: Yes, it is illegal.  You trespassed on their property and took a car that was in their possession without paying.  Since you haven't called them back, they don't know who took the car so they likely filed a police report for a stolen vehicle.  Most tow-yards have security cameras so you may have been filmed taking the car.


Title: I am an employee with access to company server - accessed email from someone knowingly committing a crime. They’re threatening to call the police.

Question:
I can’t give too details because I am not sure who is reading this.

I work for a small company. I am the office manager who has always had access to our company’s cPanel so that I can create email accounts for new employees, maintain the website, etc.

I have knowledge that the owner of this company is committing a crime that is illegal and endangers the welfare of minor children who are very close to me. The owner continually denies this and their scandal could be a direct threat to the company, as well as to the minors involved.

I was adding an email account for a new employee, as requested, when I found an email account for the person the owner is committing the crime with. It was all hosted on our company server and email account, but it had a different @domain name. I accessed the webmail, which is possible with any of the accounts hosted on our server. I forwarded messages to myself. The parties involved found out that I accessed the email and attempted to come to my home. They’ve since sent me many emails/texts claiming that what I did was illegal and they also claim they are calling the police tomorrow.

I imagine it is just a bluff, given what I and several others know. I can’t believe that they would want to expose themselves to what I have to tell the police, but obviously threats of police being called on you and unwelcome visitors coming and banging on your door are always unnerving.

Thank you for the help

Answer:
 If your employer gave you access to the server, you did not commit any crimes by accessing the server. You should take all of the information you have to your employer. Answer #2: Information on servers can be deleted. Even your own email. Print it out and take it to the police.

IANAL but if they allowed you access, they allowed you access. Most companies have some kind of “any company email may not be private because people in charge can access it” policy/disclaimer which should cover you in this situation.


Title: Could I take legal action?

Question: I cheated on this girl. She found out about me cheating on her. I blocked her on Facebook, Instagram, and on every other site. She then sends me a text saying that she is going to post my profile online for everyone to see, she had taken a screenshot of some of my pictures, posts and my entire Facebook profile. I had made my Facebook profile super private. All you are able to see is my name and my profile picture if you are not friends with me. She took a screenshot though with my personal information in there. could I take legal action against this since she does not have the right to have that information anymore? If not then why? I will be able to answer any other questions. Also I live in New Jersey.

Answer: So you want to take legal action against her for posting on the internet what you have already posted on the internet?


Title: Drunk in New Orleans

Question:
Hit my head head while drinking, blacked out, and woke up in the hospital with a ticket in my pocket for resisting an officer and public intoxication in New Orleans. Thoughts/advice?

Edit: some details left out to preserve anonymity

Answer:
 Oh Lord,  as someone who recently had a loved one with a Mardi Gras related offense in NOLA, GET A LAWYER.

Especially if you're out of town.  They're notorious for coming down hard on out of towners.


Title: Las Vegas resident living in house owned by deceased relative, haven't paid mortgage, now given notice house is being sold 11/9/18. Help!!!

Question:
TL:DR is at the bottom. Any advice is appreciated.

I understand this is just advice, and not a real legal forum. However, I'm planning on talking to a lawyer on Monday.

The situation is that my bf, with whom I'm living with, has been living in a house that his mother had been making payments on. However, she died almost three years ago, and my bf was barely able to afford basic expenses, not including the mortgage. So, he's been living here without doing anything with the house payments. The house was intended to go to him, according to a living trust, but his sister's name was also associated. She's AWOL, hasn't been seen in years.

With her still on the living trust, his one attempt to sell the house fell through. He was told that he would have to jump through a lot of legal ropes in order to remove her, and at the time, he really didn't want to deal with it. So, he never sold the house, and his sister is still on the paperwork.

We have received multiple notices that the house was potentially going into foreclosure, but he never did anything further. I know, I know, we should have been working on this a long time ago. However, depression and other factors just made it hard for him to deal with it.

I have a very limited income, which is going to change next month. My disability status changed from SSI to SSDI, so I have a lot of backpay that I'm waiting to get. However, it sounds like it won't come until January, or maybe even February. However, if I can somehow secure a loan to cover the moneys owed on the house (less than $75,000), then I'd be more than willing to use my backpay (I think it's going to be somewhere in the 20K range) with the loan. The house would be put in my name, and we'd probably end up selling it later to use some of the equity.

However, right this second, we have NO money, and my first SSDI check might not be a full one because of a double payment of Medicare.

With a roommate's help, my first check and his money should be enough (hopefully) to get us moved out into a cheap place, if we need it. It's not what we want, since we wouldn't have a lot of time to move everything that we own, but I think it's possible.

Both the roommate and my bf are vets, and I'm a disabled female (roommate is also disabled), so I'm wondering if that might work in our favor as well.

I know this is a lot of information, but does anyone have any advice, or can give me a link to review?

TL:DR--Two vets and a disabled female are having a house sold out from under them on 11/9/18. House is under deceased mother of one vet, vet never made mortgage payments after mother died. Won't have money to cover house debt, but will receive backpay that is (likely) more than 33% of what is owed. However, it won't be available for a few months, and we might not have any other resources until then, other than a basic monthly stipend for living expenses. Only choice may be to have to move into the cheapest place we can find until backpay comes in, if we lose the house.

Answer:
 I am sorry, but you putting any of *your* money into that house is a horrible idea. This is your BF's mess, his and his sister's.  You can throw all the money in the world into it but your BF can only give you his interest in the property which sounds like is not full ownership.   So what happens when you bail everybody out, then sister comes along and wants her 1/2 of the property or wants to move in?

You all should probably move out into a place you can afford. Have you checked to see if there are any programs for vets in your area? BF needs to grow up and start adulting.


Title: My company hired me to do a job I could not do, made my life miserable for the years.

Question: [deleted]

Answer: If you dislike the job you should quit.Answer #2: This is a waste of time. If they weren't breaking any laws there is nothing illegal here. If you don't like your job then find a new one.  Honestly you come across as a whiny little complainer.


Title: Gf was the treasurer of a student club and made purchases for the club, with all the proper paperwork. Now school is refusing to reimburse her $2,000.

Question:
In California. My girlfriend is the treasurer of a club at a mid sized, private University. There was an event the club threw where they bought tickets for the members to be able to attend a concert. This was done with the intent of using funds that club members and alumni had previously put into the club's account with the school. She got pre-approval for the event with the school with the understanding she would purchase the tickets in advance using her own money, then give a receipt to the school in order to get reimbursed out of the club account. Two months ago, she submitted all the proper paperwork in order to get reimbursed. She did not receive a response for two months, however today she received an email saying "there was a problem with the paperwork" without further explanation, and she will not be reimbursed out of the club's own funds which members have already put aside for this purpose. All the school's staff go on summer vacation in 3 days, and the school has a policy that no expenses from previous years may be reimbursed in the next school year. In addition, the admin in charge of reimbursement is very hard to reach and my gf may not be able to contact her as she also has finals this week.

My question is, if the school refuses to reimburse her, does she have any legal recourse for recovering the approximately $2,000 she spent on concert tickets? This money will not be taken from school funds, rather this is money that members of the club had already put aside for this purpose. However, the school has a policy that any club funds must be managed through the school and put into an account run by the school. If the school makes it this difficult to receive reimbursements, it's like they are just stealing the money that the students have entrusted them to use on club events.

Answer: Your gf needs to go in person to the office that is dealing with this and figure out what the problem is. Answer #2: School ombudsman?


Title: Is a public highschool in Chicago allowed to hold a "blacks only" event?

Question:
[News Article](http://www.westernjournalism.com/high-school-principal-hosts-black-lives-matter-event-no-whites-allowed/#fKLKDzo9KSQ9qQmW.97)

As race is a protected class, and the school is a public high school, it doesn't seem legal for the principal here to bar non-blacks.  I am imagining a situation where a school group wanted to hold a "whites-only" seminar, and I cannot imagine that would be allowed.

Location: Chicago, Illinois

Answer:
 > Rouse says he hopes to hold similar affinity group meetings for the school’s white, Hispanic and Asian students.
Read more at http://www.westernjournalism.com/high-school-principal-hosts-black-lives-matter-event-no-whites-allowed/#KPgwLlDl7ElJWHmm.99

Right. That's gonna happen. This guy is an idiot. Answer #2: From the [Chicago Tribune Article](http://www.chicagotribune.com/suburbs/oak-park/news/ct-oak-black-lives-matter-tl-0312-20150306-story.html):

> In the spirit of District 200's five-year strategic plan, which has a running theme of racial equity, Rouse decided to host the Black Lives Matter event.

Dear Mr Principal:

For future reference, hosting exclusionary events based on race may not be the best way to promote racial equity even if you make up pretty names like "affinity groups."  The PR fallout can be brutal.  Just a friendly tip.

Signed,

Offended People


Title: [NY] Employer trying to fire me for being in the ER and missing work

Question:
Throwaway for obvious reasons, on mobile so I apologize in advance for any formatting errors. This is in Upstate NY.

So to start, I have a lot of medical problems. I’m not a hypochondriac my body is just falling apart around me. The week before last on Wednesday a problem I had been trying to deal with came up, I left work after a couple of hours to go to the ER. They drugged me up and sent me home for that day and the next. Last Tuesday I come in and the same thing happens. Go to the ER, they drug me up and so some more testing, prescribe some meds, and sign me out that day and the next.

The meds worked for maybe two days but now I’m in excruciating pain again. This morning, one of the owners of the company kept mentioning how we need to cut back on “avoidable absences” all while staring at me. This was in the morning meeting in front of everyone, I’m the only one who has been out lately, so it was embarrassing. That and I found out today they asked an old employee that used to have my job if he would come out. They’ve been printing out information on disability and medical leave and having a ton of closed door meetings.

My question is, is it legal for them to fire me for being in the emergency room and having proof of it? I also had asked for disability accommodations almost two months ago now and they haven’t done anything. It’s a small company, 15 employees including the owners. Where do I go from here? I can’t afford to lose this job or the insurance and I want to make sure I’m covered.

Answer:
 If you do not have a documented disability then yes this is likely legal in an at-will state.Answer #2: Given the size of the company I do not think FMLA applies here. Which means that they do not have to hold your job for you if you are medically unable to perform it. They're required to make reasonable accommodations, but that means making adjustments that help you do your job, not letting you out of doing it.

If you cannot keep a job due to medical issues then you will need to try to go on disability.


Title: [CA] Parents are being sued by what appears to be a Korean collection agency, for a loan acquired in Korea by deceased grandparents.

Question:
As the title states, my parents have received a court summons out of the blue to appear in court. This Korean collections agency is suing for 100+k for a debt that I guess my grandfather was never able to pay back before his death several years ago.

I've advised my parents to get a lawyer, but I'm wondering if there's anything else I or they should be doing. And I'm curious to the validity of this claim, though they did provide documents signed by a judge in Korea, awarding them the claim.

I would really appreciate any advice or insight on this.

Answer: You specifically want them to consult with a collections attorney (who handles consumer side debt collections, preferably one with experience in international debts) - it is possible to use the US courts to collect international debts. However, it is not proof the debt itself is owed, but merely evidence of the existence of potential claim. They will still have to prove the debt is owed (and may be able to do it).


Title: if I'm walking my dog and it gets attacked by another dog off lead, where do i stand if i injure the other dog?

Question: so this happened recently. I was walking my dog in a area where dogs have to be on lead, two dogs got out of someones backyard and started attacking my dog. I just want to know where i stand if i injure the dogs attacking my dog. Can I get in trouble? I live in West Australia if that helps with laws

Answer: don't know the local laws but did find out via a similar experience in Connecticut I have every right to defend my personal property from an attack from somebody else's personal property. very oddly worded, but that's the idea. Answer #2: Its all about reasonable response. If you pull the dog off yours and you manage to injury it (say broke a bone), you should be fine. If you take brick and beat it to death, no so much.


Title: Dad's 'old' lawyer 'refuses' to accept Substitution of Attorney - CA

Question: [deleted]

Answer:
 My understanding is that you can use an MC-051 instead of MC-050.  The  050 is for a stipulated agreement.  The 051 is for telling the court "He's fired" -- the outgoing attorney gets a notice of an opportunity to be heard by the court.

Your new attorney should know how to make this happen.Answer #2: Call the California Bar Association. This sounds really shady.


Title: Stuck living with parents who want to keep it that way

Question:
[US, California (bay area)]

My parents banned me from opportunities to get a job since high school.  Get a job, and I'm kicked out.  Extra curricular activities, home EC, auto class, instruments, all banned.  No learning to drive or internships, because they distract from studying.

They continued to threaten to kick me out, cut off internet so I couldn't study online, apply to anything, or communicate and sometimes to kick me out and keep my stuff if I signed up with my own money to a vocational job.  They still threaten it even if I just study with books or go to job training courses.   They won't help fund further education and I don't have the money to pay for a real college course or risk student loans.

I can and want to take training and I can afford it as it's cheaper than years of college (I want to go back to college, but when I have the funds).  Is there a way to keep them from taking my stuff an forcing me out on the street?
Topic:
Douche

Answer: Find a job that comes with living accommodations.  Or hell, join the army.


Title: Moving from SD to Colorado, I wanna know what happens to my driver's license

Question: Since I'm 16 but I have a full SD license. I was told I have to get a Colorado license within 10 days of arriving there, but it seems that CO only gives full licenses to 17yos. I had a restricted license for 2 years and a full one for almost 6mo, if that matters. Also can I drive in CO normally before I get a CO license or is it restricted?

Answer: The [Colorado Dept of revenue](https://colorado.gov/pacific/dmv/new-colorado-0) appears to transfer out of state licenses for anyone 16 years of age or older.  However, if you are under 18, you will need a guardian to sign an extra form.  From the looks of it, your license should just transfer over.


Title: Sociopath coke addict ex girlfriend do I tell her work she's doing massive amounts all day while teaches kids piano?

Question:
I dont know what to add except I have video and audio evidence I could email them.

She hyperventilates and does a half gram in a bathroom visit. She left because I noticed too often that she didnt have to pee 10 times in an hour.

Teaches kids piano carries a kit at all times.

San Francisco.

Stole from me a bunch. Pickpocketed me in my sleep.

Answer:
 I'm not saying you don't have a point but I have to ask: would you do this if your breakup had been amicable? Because revenge (which it what this sounds like) rarely works out the way you envisioned.

And let's face it: a piano teacher isn't a position that would put a child in danger. If she was driving the kids, quite possibly but turning up to a home or school for a half hour lesson: well she obviously shouldn't be under the influence but don't think your motivation is in any way about protecting children. So by all mean report her, but don't think you are doing this for anyone but you.


Title: [NM] Threatened by hired security.

Question:
tl;dr - threatened by hired security, told by my boss to get a police escort or quit.

 This just happened a few hours ago, I work in a building where we have hired security patrol the lot during the night. Unfortunately our management neglected to tell us we had a new company starting tonight, so when the new guy came to the desk asking for keys we didn't know who he was. This gave us a few red flags. So we called our manager and see if they knew what was going on. The general manager didn't answer and somehow the assistant manager didn't know. We then called the company on his shirt and found out that he was in fact legitimate, but he shouldn't have asked for keys as he was hired to only patrol the exterior. This should have been the end of the story.

 *narrator's voice,* it wasn't.

At the end of my shift as I am walking to my car he approaches me and starts yelling at me saying, "I know it was you, you're a fucking rat."

I attempt to explain the situation and why I had to check and make sure everything was in order. He shuts me down and continues to call me a fucking rat. So I go back into the building and call his boss. I'm told that this guy has been confrontational with his co-workers in the past and that he wasn't surprised that he was the same with their customers. He asked if I could talk to his manager on Monday and issue a formal complaint. I said okay.

Naturally as this guy knows what kind of car I drive and where I work and is clearly confrontational, I'm feeling a bit paranoid about my safety since he singled me out personally. I called my boss and tell him of my concerns and I'm told there's nothing he can do and if I'm so worried that I can have the police escort me to my car or resign. I am here now because I am not sure where to go from here.

Answer:
 Is it just that you *feel* threatened, or did they make an actual threat against you?

If they made an actual threat, you can file a police report and notify the company they work for.  Pretty much any security company is going to immediately pull a guard who makes threats towards client employees.

If they did not make a threat, then simply reporting it to their company is the proper move.  How it's handled depends on the company's policies and decisions.

As a practical note, you could arrange for a coworker to walk with you to and from your car until the situation is resolved.


Title: Is it legal for a cop to be parked in a handicap space while fishing for speeders?

Question: My neighborhood in Cincinnati Ohio is off of a road notorious for speed traps. Lately the park ranger who is gunning people has been parked in a handicap parking spot while doing so. This spot is the only place angled in such a way that it can't be seen around the bend. Living there, I know well enough not to speed, however I see people pulled over several times a week. Is it legal to be parked in a handicap space if you're a cop? Thank you

Answer: Even if it's not illegal his commander would probably shit on his head because it makes the department look insensitive to the community they serve.


Title: My wife found out she has a warrant for missing jury duty but she never signed up for it?

Question:
My wife just told me she has a warrant out for her arrest because she missed jury duty but we never got a summons and she never signed up to be a part of that. She's just barely 21. No license, not registered to vote, I don't think she's ever signed up for anything.

Is it possible that some one else is responsible?
I ask this because she does have one of those crazy exes who would sign up for magazines and send ads and crap to our old house.

I dont know what's involved in registering for jury duty. I thought it was when you registered to vote. Is it possible to sign someone else up for it? I would not put it past him to do such a thing. He's currently sitting in jail awaiting trial for felony charges.

I am talking to a lawyer first thing tomorrow. We only just now found out. Will we be able to see when/where she was registered or find out any other information pertinent to identity theft?

Answer: assuming you are in the US, you do not sign up for jury duty. You do not have to be registered to vote to be called for jury duty. You do not have to register or some other friend magazine in order to get called for jury duty. Tax rosters, voter rosters, school rosters are some of the things used to determine potential candidates for jury duty. If your wife never received notification that she had jury duty she may be able to simply explain it and move on. but just because she's not registered to vote or she never signed up for jury duty does not mean she can't be call for jury duty.


Title: Cop just tried to walk into my house while I was home.

Question:
I live in Indiana.   It was about 2:45 pm so it just happened.   He walked up and tried the knob then it looked like he walked next door but I'm not sure what he did over there.   Soon after he walked back to his car and left.  He looked like city police.

Does anyone have any idea what he may have been up to?  I'm not happy about it because he would have walked right in if the door hadn't been locked.   Is there anything I can do about it?

Thanks in advance for any help.

Answer: You can call the police department and ask.  We can't possibly guess as to why he was there, or whether he was in the right.


Title: Forced to Work

Question:
I work for a county EMS service. At the end of our regular 24 hour hour shifts we are occasionally "forced" to work at extra 12-24 hours of work.

My first question has to do with the legality of being forced to work in a "right to work" state.

Second is does the fact that I work for an Emergency Service effect the legality of being forced?

Third, we recently had changes to the way we are forced which gives preferential treatment to people who volunteer to work extra shifts. Is there a problem with that?

I live in an "at-will state (South Carolina) So I'm sure they can literally do whatever they want and I know they have a legal team to protect themselves but I needed to ask.

Answer: Slavery is illegal. You can leave if you want to, and file for unemployment if you're fired.


Title: Have a temporary PFA against my STB-EX Husband, but debating about dropping it.

Question:
So my husband (30m) assaulted me in front of our LO (9m-f) 2 weeks ago. I filed for a PFA, he tried getting me commited swearing that his story was true. A rape kit was done and is being analyzed by a lab. State Police have it.

He filed for a no fault divorce right after the temporary pfa. I dont believe he is a threat to our child, because through mutual friends he has expressed nothing but wanting to see his daughter. I dont trust this, but he hasnt attempted to violate the PFA and has held to it, and I feel bad for keeping him from his kid.

How can dropping a temporary PFA influence the rest of the case? The assault case is going to be backed by the kit that was done and the fact that he lied to the police about it, im not worried about it, but I feel like im a horrible person for keeping our child from him.

Answer:
 I'm going to be very blunt... and it is going to seem very harsh, so I am sorry...

But he raped you, took your knife, heated it, and cut you and then tried to have you committed... and you want to let him near your child? Whether he did anything to her, he did it in front of her. You are not protecting your child if you gave in to the man who assaulted you.Answer #2: When you go for the hearing for the final PFA you can ask them to modify the PFA to allow for visitation and communication only regarding the child.

No need to drop the entire PFA. Answer #3: what? too many acronyms to understand wtf you mean. Answer #4: SDG your daughter's safety is your priority, and you aren't a horrible person for making sure she's safe. He snapped and attacked you with a knife! For all you know, he could do the same to her!

He *earned* having a difficult time seeing his kid, and *your body* is  bearing the scars to prove it! Let him fight his own battle here and prove he's not the vicious animal he showed himself to be! If it were me, I'd insist he satisfactorily completes an anger management course with a qualified therapist before even considering discussing visitation. The court can always hold a review hearing to amend orders if need be.

Ask your attorney what she thinks about asking the court for a *[guardian ad litem](https://www.law.cornell.edu/wex/guardian_ad_litem)* appointed to protect your daughter's interests. This can be a two-edged sword because they would not be beholden to you in any way, but would do what they feel is in your daughter's best interests.

Remember, always listen to your lawyer!

Stay strong SGD! We love you!


Title: If I take my speeding ticket to court, can they take away my license if they think I’m crazy?

Question:
My previous post got removed because my legal question wasn’t clear enough, so I’ll try to be more concise.

A GA State Patrol officer followed me for 15-18 miles with his lights off. I got scared because I thought I was in danger and sped up. Obviously I ended up with a ticket. If I mention my fear of injury or kidnapping in traffic court, would I lose my license if the judge thinks I’m just mentally unstable? I’ve heard that once you get to court they always side with the officer, but I really don’t feel like this citation is fair.

Answer: How is it not fair? If you think someone is following you or if you fear of injury or kidnapping, you pull into a public place and call 911. That is just common sense. Speeding up is not a logical response to feeling you're in danger.


Title: Drug dealers ruining neighborhood, please help.

Question:
Hello, I live in a town home complex where I have lived for an extended period of time. There is a great community of homeowners here. However, in the past few months, a "trap" or drug house has appeared near the back of the complex. There are now sketchy people biking in and out nearly hourly 24/7, the tenants using the pool and jacuzzi past hours, doing drugs and bringing prostitutes in the bathroom, and even one person who was "visiting" that very same house stealing bikes out of neighbor's back patios. The local PD told us there are very little they can do without being able to search the property. What can I do? I want them arrested and kicked out.

Our complex has one entrance with no gate. The pool area is gated (but easily to climb) with a bathroom door with a broken lock.

Answer:
 You can call the police when you see illegal activity happening. You can also voice your concerns to the townhome management company. Answer #2: This happened where I lived, it was a community of townhouses but they were condos that people owned but many people rented them out.. occasionally to an unsavory character or two.

The most you can do is reach out to your condo association (or equivalent of - I'm assuming something similar because your complex has a pool) to make them aware of the problem.  I would also encourage neighbors to do the same.  If it becomes enough of a problem they may reach out to the owners of the trap house (if they are renters maybe their lease won't be renewed!).

Also, call the police EVERYTIME you see illegal activity.  The best way to get criminals out is to make their illegal activity as inconvenient as possible for them.  Either they get busted by the police or they get tired of the police presence and move out.  Look up your local nonemergency police number!Answer #3: Do you have an HOA? An HOA can have a tremendous amount of power. You should pool resources and get a lawyer, depending on your state law or jurisdiction and what's in your HOA contract, you may literally be able to force the owner to sell the house without the police being involved.


Title: NY State. Ticketed after a car accident for "Following too closely", even though the incident occured because of visibility conditions. Am I able to have this thrown out?

Question:
In a fog, a white car was turning in front of me.
I was going a reasonable speed for the visibility, and they were so far ahead that I was unable to see their turn signal or brake lights.
Everyone is fine, almost no damage was done to their car, but I was ticketed by the officer who arrived on scene about ten minutes later.

If I was following them closely at all, I would have been able to see their lights; am I able to have this thrown out?

I have my court date this week and am unsure what to say when I arrive.

Answer:
 You were following too closely for conditions. It's valid.Answer #2: You can plead not guilty and hope for leniency, but if you were unable to stop in time, you were following too closely.Answer #3: > I was going a reasonable speed for the visibility

No, you weren't.  If you were, you would have been going slow enough to come to a complete stop and avoid hitting the car in front of you.

You're at fault, but feel free to plead not guilty and present a defense, or hire a traffic attorney to present your case in a better light.


Title: [UK] I have an upcoming interview with a big-four consulting firm, who have been dicking me around. I want to set it up such that I can bill them "time and materials" after the interview, any legal sleuths with suggestions to pull this off?

Question:
If interactions with the firm are conducted through an email associated with a registered company, could I use smoke and mirrors to make this work? It would be a great laugh.

[edit]: yep, this would trash one's career if one was to pull it off. But, nevertheless, could one pull it off?!

Answer: I'll take "How to never get a job again" for $200, Alex!


Title: Suspecting I'm might be accused of rape and girl is tricking me to buy time.

Question:
I slept with a girl a couple of days ago.

There and then, she seemed happy, enjoying herself and actively participating in having sex. Even taking initiative.

Now, afterward, she's really upset and saying I pressured, and seduced her into sex.

Not feeling I have done any of this, and never heard any date or girlfriend in the past say something like this, I'm devastated, scared and really sad. Partly because I hate the idea of having hurt another person who I like a lot, but also because this can destroy my entire life and future. Even get me in prison if I'm unlucky.

Question:

She's been texting me about what she felt was wrong and that she needs time to further explain what I did wrong,  then writing that I should wait a couple of days before responding. I'm afraid that this is a tactic she's using to get me fired or jailed before I have time to gather my POV.

 What should I do? I've never been this scared or worried in my entire life. Please help.

Answer: Stop talking to her. Answer #2: Discontinue all conversation, speak to an attorney if approached by police, refuse any statements until you spoke to an attorney.


Title: Mom received court order for failing to appear for jury duty even though she has proof. Please help

Question: Mom attended jury selection process for 2 days and was dismissed, both days she got a proof of jury service (the ones you give to your employer). However, she received a letter saying she failed to appear and is contempt of the court. We tried to explain through some phone calls and emails with the court/clerk, but the judge still wants her to come in as they claim she did not answer role call. It would be very inconvenient to have to go to court again as I'm not comfortable with her not knowing English well. Can r/legaladvice please help? California. Much appreciated.

Answer: Go to court with documents


Title: Slander at work (US/MD)

Question:
I work in an open office on a team that sits in close proximity to another separate team under different management. There are a number of people on the other team who are slandering my name with blatantly false criminal accusations in their gossip. Anyone who knows me knows that the remarks are false, but I'm concerned for future internal job applications/promotions as well as job references should the slander be pervasive amongst my team.

Is there anything to do here? I thought about going to a lawyer for a cease and desist letter, but would that even work when there is more than one person involved? I also wondered if it would be better to send a cease and desist to their boss with respect to the team producing the slander. Right now I've been doing nothing so as not to acknowledge it.

There are no monetary damages (no loss of job), so I'm not sure if there is anything to do in my position other than to look for a new job.

Any advice is appreciated.

Answer: Have you talked to your bosses or their bosses?


Title: Sold kid drugs in school, need help

Question:
[deleted]
Topic:
Drug Possession

Answer:
 >If they come and search and interrogate me, what do i do?

If you're questioned about having committed a crime, you politely decline to answer their questions and get a lawyer.

>Can they still bust me if they have witnesses who saw the deal?

Yes.

>I’m 18, I can’t get a federal charge.

Then don't do things that are illegal.

>I know....I’m retarded.

Don't use that word that way.


Title: NH Dog bit someone staying at our house when no one was home. I suspect mistreatment and now being sued

Question: We had a person staying at our house for an undetermined amount of time. What was initially said would be a few days turned into months. I have two dogs at home. This person liked one of the dogs and was always spoiling it. The other dog, they were not fond of. I came home one day and found my dog locked in my room. I heard this person scolding my dog on a separate occasion for not eating his food fast enough even though, the other dog had the same habit. What was acceptable and encouraged for one dog, the other dog was reprimanded and insulted for. When I was at work, and no one else was home, this person was bitten by my dog and had to go to the hospital for stitches. They said that the dog bit when they tried to take it off the couch. Both dogs had a habit of sleeping on the couch. I've received a letter asking to send the lawyer information and officer report to my homeowner's insurance. Should I seek a defense lawyer given my suspicions that the dog bite was provoked? Or should I send paperwork to my homeowner's insurance and hope for the best? I moved out of my house with my dog for two months after the incident to remove myself from the situation and give the person time to find a new place to stay. My family continued to treat this person normally, take her to places she wanted, while also explaining to person that they needed to find a new place to stay. I feel like the suit is not about the medical bills which I would pay, it is about taking advantage of the situation despite all the months of expense free place to stay and food.

Answer:
 I don't know if you are the owner of the house, but if so I would start the legal process to remove this person from your home (written notice to vacate). Don't rely on them voluntarily leaving if you feel they are taking advantage of you.

Unfortunately, you have no evidence that the dog was provoked. You can certainly hire your own lawyer if you like, but unless the person confesses to provoking the dog, I don't see you as having a real defense. You may be better off financially just submitting the claim to your insurance.


Title: Moonshine

Question: Located in Texas. I have a friend that has the proper papers for making moonshine. My father in law, retired cop, says that for me to be carrying it around is a felony. Is he correct? I didn't buy it, it was gifted to me. It's in a mason jar, unlabeled...

Answer:
 I'm not a lawyer, I just have a lot of friends that legally make moonshine. If he gives it to you, that's the end of it.

Actually, once the product is in your hands, that's the end of it on your end. If he starts selling it, that's new paperwork and such on his end.

There shouldn't be a legal problem on your end unless your start selling it or driving after drinking it.


Title: Is it reasonable to expect that Google Maps will produce a fair map?

Question:
I will explain.

I recently zoomed in to an area in which I know a certain restaurant is located.
No matter how what I did, the  restaurant did not appear on the map, however, other restaurants did.
Only when I searched for the restaurant by name did it appear.

To tell the truth, I do not know why this happened, but let us assume that Google is only automatically showing businesses that pay them to be promoted.

My feeling is that such behavior would be unfair, because as a user, I expect a map to be unbiased.

Google search results are supposedly unbiased,with advertisements clearly marked as such, and I have no objection to that.

However, if the Google Map is biased, without the slightest indication of such, then it seems to me that a kind of fraud would be being committed.

What do you think?

Answer:
 Sure, it's reasonable to expect a certain degree of accuracy.

Google has no inherent enforceable obligation to provide the information you expect, though. If you don't like the product, use another. _If_ Google has such an obligation, it's due to a contract either with you (as the user) or the restaurant (as an advertiser), not due to their popularity as a map and directory service.

Google is well known to promote businesses which pay to advertise with them, including on the Maps service. In that sense, they're no different from Michelin guides, Yelp, or the Yellow Pages.Answer #2: Leave a nice review on google reviews for that restaurant.


Title: My ex filed a protective order?

Question:
Last time I saw my ex or heard from her was May 2017, after she told me she sucks another guys dick and he’s better and stuff, I left. Never looked back, texted we or went anywhere close to her.

Yet yesterday I got a Facebook message from a random account saying I should go to court, showing me all the documents she filled in.

Turns out she filed for a protective order in January 12 2018!!! What??? And then apparently they keep extending it, and I didn’t know about it, until recently after 5 times being extended, she filed for a new one on June 26 2018!!!

Wtf!!!! Last time I even thought about her was May 2017, but apparently since January 2018 until...still going on....she’s been going to court trying to get a protective order???

Wtf??? I have to go to a hearing tomorrow, any advices?

Answer:
 Huh.   That's weird.

In general, protective or restraining orders are granted on an emergency basis solely on the complaint of a person.    Those usually last two weeks.

Then, the person whose liberty and speech are to be restrained (the "respondent", you)  must be notified to appear in court to give their side of the story.   Generally if they don't show up, the court will not grant a "permanent" order.   Such orders typically expire after a year, but can be extended.

Five "extensions" suggests she keeps filing new requests.  Maybe she can't seem to find you, or won't give them a correct address.   Restraining orders are typically "served" by the local police or sheriff, and they don't take effect until the respondent is served.   You'll be served with it when you appear in court, since you haven't been before, but right now it's not in effect yet.

Ideally you would hire a defense attorney to appear with you, but as is... just show up.    Tell the court you haven't spoken to her for a year.   You'll get to see the complaint and see what she's alleging.

Was the Facebook message today from her, or some third party ?Answer #2: It's possible someone is impersonating you to harass her.