Title: Getting expelled with no warning for climbing on roof

Question:
Hello Reddit,

I am studying abroad, through a program at a school which will remain nameless. The residence of the school is a 6 story apartment building with streets on both sides. I live on the top floor, and a handful of times, my friend and I have gone through my top story window, onto the roof of the building to enjoy the fresh air, and to enjoy the view. It is very easy to go through the window onto the roof, and we are not the first, nor the only ones, to have done this. The student culture within the residence has led us to believe that going on the roof, while not exactly allowed, is also not a serious offense.

Recently, another student informed the resident officials that my friend and I had been on the roof. They called us down for a meeting, and informed us that it is likely we will be removed from the program.

There is nothing about the roof in the residence contract, nor were we informed verbally during orientation, or any other period, that going on the roof wasn't allowed. I realize the lack of specification in the rules does not make it legal, but at the same time, there was no deterrence, no warnings, and no mention that a reparation this serious could possibly occur.

I think this is entirely unreasonable, considering the lack of warning. What do I do?

Answer:
 There’s nothing you can do.   A reasonable person would assume that climbing out of ones window to sit on the roof is not permitted.

Leave gracefully.


Title: My property manager is making my fix up my apartment for the next tenets on my own dollar. Is this normal or am I being played?

Question:
I've lived in my apartment complex for 2 years, there's no security deposit. I've kept the place in extremely good condition. I've even been a live in model for the complex.

I'm moving out in two weeks and my property manager dropped off a packet for move out procedures. My manager wants me to repaint the house, get the carpets professionally cleaned, pressure wash the outside, and so on my own dollar.

My place is VERY clean. I completely understand not leaving the place a mess! But to redo the entire place for the next tenants doesn't seem like a job I'm supposed to be doing. We have onsite maintenance teams and they always are outsourcing renovators for other units. I don't recall ever reading this in my lease (I'm going to go through it again though).

They are offering a wildly expensive "express check out bundle" where I can pay $500 for them to do it all for me. That is nearly my monthly rent. This doesn't seem like it's my responsibility to be doing. Obviously I was going to clean the place, but to paint and pay a professional to pressure wash?

I feel like my complex is ripping me off because I'm a student and "don't know better". Is this a normal procedure for moving out of a rental unit?

EDIT: I live in Florida

**TLDR;** My property manager is making me redo my already nice apartment on my own dollar. Am I being played to do the work they're supposed to be doing?

Answer:
 Your location would help. In many areas "normal wear and tear" is the landlords responsibility. Painting and cleaning carpets are definitely normal wear and tear.Answer #2: Was any of this required in the lease?Answer #3: "Broom clean" is the usual requirement for cleaning the apartment.
As long as you did not piss on or used carpets as an ashtray, and did not write obscenities on the walls with permanent marker, the requirements for professional carpet cleaning and re-paining are bogus. Pressure washing the exterior is not your job at all.

You are not supposed to pay the landlord for normal wear and tear. Your regular rent payment covers all of that.


Title: Need advice. Landlord wants us to be out by 11/1 so they can clean/prep for a tenant moving in 11/20 but wants us to pay prorated rent until 11/19

Question:
Title, plus more detail.

We rented a place for a year and switched to a month to month lease option. The month to month lease renewal required 60 days notice for termination of lease. However, we live in an area where it’s impossible to find a place that will let you move in in 60 days so we always have to find a place to move in 30 days and hope we can find a new tenant. We put our 60  day notice in 9/29.

Landlord posted move-in availability ready for 11/10. The tenant they are about to sign a lease will have a move-in of 11/20. The landlords want us out by 11/1 but still want to force us to pay for the rent up to 11/19 (our normal monthly rent is 1,400. They want 882 for prorated rent.

Can they legally charge us rent if they require us to be moved out 11/1? Also, by signing a lease with another tenant 11/20 aren’t they personally voiding the obligations of a 60 day notice? Our lease addendum says nothing about requiring payment for 60 days during the termination period. I’m sure that’s a weak argument but any flaw in this thing I could defuse their slumlording would be helpful.

My point is, if I’m paying for prorated rent, I’m staying in the house until that date.

Any help/advice would be appreciated!

Answer:
 You're correct- your landlord can't expect you to pay rent on a unit they're not allowing you to live in.

On the 60 days notice to vacate- what move-out date did you list?Answer #2: I would add that, since they're looking for money and planning some renovations (there's no way it takes three weeks to clean an apartment), you need to be very careful with your checkout. Make sure you clean thoroughly, patch any holes in the walls, even if it was just a thumbtack, make sure all your stuff is gone, etc. Make sure you and the landlord go through the place together, film everything in case of disputes later on, etc.  Expect them to try to gouge you, and do your best to mitigate that.


Title: [CA] am I supposed to report someone making themselves puke every day at work?

Question:
I work for my county in California. One of my co-workers purges every day. I have no clue who all knows about it but he does it often enough that I've been in the restroom quite a few times when he does it. He tries to cover it by flushing the toilet a bunch but it's pretty obvious.

Am I supposed to report this? I'm a mandated reporter for like child abuse and stuff like that but I don't know if this falls into that.

Should I report this even if I'm not required to?

I know he's puking and making himself do it because one of my friends that worked here told me he does it because he had gastric bypass surgery and that's part of what comes with it(he was told this by the guy puking apparently). I know that's just not true though.

Answer:
 You could call Adult Protective Services, or report it to HR. I don't think you have any legal obligation to help him.

99% this person is bulimic and covering it up.Answer #2: It's been established for some time that men are equally prone to once believe to be "female" disorders like dysmorphia, restricting and purging eating disorders.

It's possible that He s had bypass or other abdominal surgery that makes him very uncomfortable after overruling, but equally or more likely it's psychological.

You aren't a reporter of this unless he is a minor. You could report it to HR, but they have no power to do anything and it may be a bad thing if they question his abilities without him coming forward with any sort of disability accommodation.

If you want to help him, perhaps befriend him. Eating disorders are a terrible, difficult, and immensely personal struggle. You have no duty or requirement to act beyond what you as a human feel you should do when you see another adult human in distress.

Best of luck to you and best wishes to your coworker. Answer #3: If he is over 17 you have no duty to report a guy puking in the bathroom.


Title: My boss allows smokers to smoke anytime they want but doesn't allow me to use my smokeless tobacco on break.

Question: Exactly like my post says. He allows the other two guys I work with to smoke freely anytime but won't let me use my tobacco even on breaks. Is this discrimination?

Answer: Yes, it is discrimination. The important thing to consider is whether or not this is *illegal* discrimination. You didn't post your location, but most likely this is not illegal discrimination.


Title: In writing communication only with 9yr old daughter.

Question:
(The short of it is Mom just got custody after Great-Grandparents had guardianship for almost 9 years *from under 1 year old until 9 years old*. Mom lives, and therefore took child 275 miles away. Dad lives with said Great-Grandparents. Dad gets court mandated every-other weekends with child.) Communication is horrible at best. Now Mom is telling Dad the only way he can communicate with his daughter is in writing.

BUT...this is in the parenting plan. To me it's simple but wanted other opinions. ***Both parents and the children shall have the right to communicate by telephone, in writing, by e-mailing, by text messaging or by tele-cam (if available) during reasonable hours without interference or monitoring by the other parent***

The next paragraph says this:  ***Unless otherwise agreed by the parents, telephone calls shall be limited to no more than three per week and each call shall last no more than 20 minutes. These calls shall not be made during or extend past the child’s normal bed time***

Mom is violating the parenting order right?

I've never hated anyone so much ever in my life.

USA, Washington

Answer: Yes, she is violating the terms of the parenting plan, and could be held in contempt of court. Answer #2: You've got a lawyer, right? File a contempt motion.


Title: This company only serves women. Like cake companies who won't serve gay couples, is this legal?

Answer:
 I think there's a strong argument for a bona fide need that would prevent them from being sued - at the very least, employment wise they can make the same argument strip bars and hooters always does.

As for serving only women, I'm not sure. Answer #2: I don't have any legal opinions, I just want to point out this was the plot to a good chunk of season 3 of Bojack Horseman.

I can only assume that this company will also slowly evolve into (possibly orca) strippers driving around male clients.


Title: Is a citation for "wheels off road" a "serious traffic violation"?

Question: I hit a patch of ice entering a road and went off to the side in mud and snow and had to be towed out, I got a ticket for "wheels off road" even though I had a fire department Capt saying he saw me doing everything in my control to stop a collision. I am applying to a helitac fire crew and having a serious traffic violation is a disqualifier, so what qualifies as serious?

Answer:
 Your location might be important, different states have different traffic laws and what's serious in one may not be in another (for example, going 85 mph is perfectly legal in certain places in Texas, but in Virginia, it's a misdemeanor criminal offense).Answer #2: It is highly unlikely that "wheels off road" is a serious traffic violation... but the people you need to ask are the people you are applying to.

They define what a serious traffic violation is for the purposes of hiring, not state legislatures.


Title: (TX) Someone took a picture of my car and might go to the police?

Question: I'm a High School student and this  morning before my first period I was parked in a different area of my apartment complex and made sure to park in a visitor spot, not a reserved one. While resting in my car a lady came by telling me that I can't park there. I calmly got into the drivers seat and started to leave. I see her pull out her camera and start taking pictures of my license plate, I get out of the car and talk to her about the issue. I never got around to asking the question as she tells me its private property and that I need to leave. I last see her walking to the office. While driving around I believe I saw her walking toward a police car. Can I get in any trouble for this? She also explained she was scared of random people because of people stealing and etc.

Answer:
 You should be fine. Don't worry too much about weird ladies on the street.

Your driver's license has an address in the complex, right? IF an officer appears, all you have to do is show him.


Title: (Chicago, IL) Landlord told us we had until May 1st to renew our lease and now says we can't renew at all. Anything we can do?

Question:
We live in the city of Chicago and rent through Peak Properties. They sent us a new lease for the next year and a letter stating we had until May 1st, 2018, to sign and return our new lease and renew. Additionally they sent us an email saying we had until May 1st, 2018, to renew our lease and steps to do that electronically.

Last Friday, 4/13, we got an email from them with an attached "Notice of Non-Renewal of Lease" and says we are not renewing the current lease and must vacate the property at the date specified in our current lease. We contacted our property manager and she said the "Owner the building has decided on a different plan for your unit. Consequently the renewal option is no longer available."

We really wanted to renew and love our place and had no intention of moving out. Is there anything we can do from a legal standpoint to either prevent this measure or receive any compensation, financially or otherwise from this? I assume probably not and we just got to swallow it, but it's shitty and we're pissed, and I figured it wouldn't hurt to ask.

Any help is appreciated!

Answer:
 You have no legal entitlement to rent that unit, so if the landlord wants you out, they're under no legal obligation to renew your lease or allow you to live there beyond the legally-binding amount of time spelled out in your lease.

Before a legally-binding document is fully executed, either party can generally change their mind at any time.Answer #2: What does your current lease say happens at the end of your lease?


Title: If you bought a car but didn’t take it on the road would you need to purchase tags for it?

Question: So basically sv you bought an RV (or any other vehicle.) or something but basically just left in on your land/in your garage and never actually drove it. Would you still ya e to buy tags for it? I’m mostly just curious.

Answer:
 This is a matter of state law, so it would depend on the state.

Some states (e.g. California) have a quite cheap [planned non-operation option](https://www.dmv.ca.gov/portal/dmv/detail/pubs/brochures/fast_facts/ffvr01) that covers this situation. But if the vehicle is driven or parked or even towed on public roads just once during the year, it needs to be fully registered or you need a special one-day moving permit. But the rules are different in every state.


Title: [BC CANADA] Can co-owners of a house I jointly own prevent me from having guests?

Question: I jointly own our family home with my two siblings. We are equal owners at 33.3 % each. A sibling of mine who is also co-owner does not want me to have my boyfriend staying here when he visits. I want to know what my rights are. My other sibling could potentially side with the asshole one. Please advise and thank you in advance.

Answer: You own the property. You can have whomever you want over and no one can tell you otherwise (barring any sort of legal orders stating otherwise). Just like you cannot tell your siblings who they can or cannot have over. Majority does not rule in this circumstance. If your siblings don't like this, they are free to offer to buy you out of your share of the property.


Title: [Utah] Someone is falsely claiming they have a stalking injunction against me

Question:
Two years ago, a staff member at my (public) university made false stalking reports to get me kicked out. No stalking occurred. She invited me into her office, admitted guilt to violating campus policies, and turned around and reported my visit with her as stalking. This was the last contact I had with her, and it was her initiating it. I made no unwanted communication and promptly left.

A few months later, I went to a vigil hosted at a public park. She was there, but I had no expectation to see her there. I went for my own personal reasons. She confronted me and initiated contact against my wishes. I ignored her and walked away. She later accused me of stalking. She's the one who confronted me.

Another few months later, I temporarily moved to another state. While out of the state, police visited my family's house here in Utah, claiming I had been seen on campus with firearms (I was accused of being an active shooter). I made no threats or any other statements that could sound like threats - I left Utah to avoid the stress this person had caused me, not to dwell on it. The name police gave of the person who made the report matched that of one of the students closely associated with this employee. The video doorbell recording of the officer talking to my family has the officer admitting he has no idea what's going on or why the staff is so obsessed over me.

Over the past two years, there's been a few incidents that have continued to cause me severe emotional distress. I have been part of the local LGBT community for the past 10 years. This employee has only been part of it for 3 (she moved here for her job), but she's trying to force me out of it. She has been telling these people that she has a stalking injunction against me to have them ban me from participating in their events. She is doing this while representing the university, including using her department's funding to sponsor these off-campus groups.

No stalking injunction exists. There is no court order. But people believe her and are banning me from these off-campus resources specifically in retaliation of this rumored court order and in support of this person. I didn't violate any rules in these groups, it's just "one of our members has a civil stalking injunction against you, so you are no longer allowed to participate."

I believe that, over the past two years, she has potentially violated FERPA law because she has disclosed my protected educational information with students and other people who this information is protected from. I also suspect that she's in violation of her social worker ethics, but I don't know if that actually affects anything.

Her attacks against me have caused me severe emotional distress: multiple visits to the ER, crisis center, in-patient hospital stays (suicide attempts), and 2.5 years of ongoing mental health counseling because of her actions.

I don't know what to do. Is she defaming me by claiming she has a court order that doesn't actually exist? Is this unlawful behavior? Is there anything I can claim over the fact that she has caused me such emotional distress (demonstrated by 2.5 years of mental health visit summaries)?

Answer:
 This woman has waged a sustained attack on your reputation for what sounds like several years. It sounds like she is very clever and highly manipulative, and that is probably why you haven’t reported her.

The only thing I think you can do is go to the police and take every bit of information you have with you. Definitely cite the complaint about you being on campus, when you were out of state. (Hopefully you have some concrete evidence of your trip). If anyone witnessed her coming to confront you at the vigil, it would be important to ask them if they will vouch for what they saw. This has been going on for a while, so you would want to sit down and write out the timeline from when he first began her accusations until the present day.

It would actually be a surprise if she hasn’t done this same sort of thing to someone else. Wishing you all the best in this fight.


Title: My parents let their friend charge their credit card for $12,000 - this person charged over $29,000 and refuses to pay

Question:
My parents have a friend they trust who was buying business class airline tickets in bulk. She asked for a “loan” of $12,000 for purchasing airline tickets, and assured they would be getting the money back.

She charged $29,000 and explained to my parents that she needs this to purchase other tickets and will pay my parents back. They completely trusted her. She gave $10,000 back (2 other checks for smaller amounts bounced), and now she says she has no money to pay. Pretty much committed fraud and they believed her for so long.

My parents are wondering if they can dispute the amount with their credit card company. The problem is this charge was done 60 days ago, and she paid the $10,000 with her personal check into the checking account which is linked to this credit card. They even spoke to their credit card company and confirmed that they gave her the card to charge.

What can they do to retrieve the money back from the credit card company given this fraudulent person? There’s no way this woman will be giving our money back.

As context other people have also been trapped in this - and they have recently found out she has left the country before because of this!

Answer:
 By loaning out their credit card, there's a good chance your parents violated their contract with the credit card company. Disputing a charge with a credit card company is for fraudulent charges, not regretted charges. Expect the CC company to deny the dispute.

Your only hope is to sue her over this. Does she have any assets (car, house)? If not then your parents just earned a very expensive lesson.


Title: Taking illegally acquired money

Question: I have a friend who does some questionable things. Today he asked if he could store 2000 in my bank account for a bit and if all goes well he'll give me 500 for helping. I don't think he acquired the money legally and I won't go past my monthly limit. Is there any legal reprimands for me if I store the money?

Answer: Yes, prisonAnswer #2: There is no legitimate reason for him to need you to store his money.  If you do it, you're risking felonies/money laundering charges.


Title: there's an arrest warrant on me, but when police came looking for me, I wasn't home. (CA)

Question: I was away from the house yesterday where I live with mom and dad, when dad called me saying police entered the house with an arrest warrant. This is over a burglary charge that happened over two years ago, that I'm actually guilty of. Late last year, I settled a no insurance ticket by going to traffic school and giving up my DNA for continuous search. In the beginning of this year police came to my house saying they had found my DNA at the scene of the crime and with a warrant, took my DNA via cheek swab. They further asked me if I had broken in and stolen a bike, at which point I denied everything. Two days later I went to the police station and admitted guilt to the same investigator after he read me my miranda rights. He recorded the whole conversation and once finished, I didn't hear anything until yesterday. I feel like the biggest piece of s#!+ right now, running away from the house and not telling my parents what happened. Being a legal resident (not citizen) I feel like leaving the state, or the country. I want to pay for it back, but I want to avoid jail time if possible. Is it possible to hire a lawyer to avoid jail and settle it another way? If I leave the state and never come back, will they take my residency? Can they come to work to arrest me?

Answer:
 Burglary is a serious charge.  Running from it will not help.  Hire an attorney, stop talking about what happened to anyone but the attorney.  Of course they can arrest you at work, or any place else you are found.Answer #2: > Is it possible to hire a lawyer to avoid jail and settle it another way?

That is your best option. An attorney can tell you what the likely outcomes are.Answer #3: Stop talking to the police without an attorney present. Hire a defense attorney and have him/her arrange for your surrender. Do this soon if you don't want them kicking down your parents' door again.


Title: My cousin got charged for B&E

Question: [deleted]

Answer:
 First you have exactly zero evidence of excessive force so stop throwing that term around.

>I don't think it's B&E because we used a key to get in

This is possibly the most ridiculous excuse I've seen in quite a long time.

You should know that the prosecutor may offer him a deal in which he pleads down by giving up all your names, and then you will all be facing charges.


Title: Celebrity image copyright

Question: Hi, I am wanting to start up a small t shirt business operating from NZ over the internet. I would like to use an image in the likeness of a deceased celebrity (namely; Jim Morrison) in my logo. I was just wondering if I am allowed to do this. Thank you. (New Zealand)

Answer: Yes, if you have permission from whoever owns the copyright on the picture.


Title: Neighbor's son beat my dog with a bat, feud ensues, Landlord is now trying to order us to take down our security cameras.

Question:
Ok, hopefully this isn't too long. For the record, we live in Fort Thomas, Kentucky. We live in a two story duplex, us on one half, another family on the other half. For the sake of clarity, we will call the woman E, the husband P,  the 5yr old son P2, and 2 yr daughter R.

I suppose the problems extend back to January really. We had been paying (quite a bit) E to watch our kids in lieu of paying daycare rates so that my husband and I could go to work. We'd had no problems since we moved in, they were alright people I thought.

Well  E and P sent their kids away for a night, got very drunk, and ended up in a very loud, violent fight at 2am. It was so bad, E was screaming for my husband and I. My husband went and escorted E, who was bleeding and bruised, to our house, where we called the police. Her husband was then arrested for assault 4th degree (domestic violence) and possession and paraphernalia charges. She had been recording what happened, played it for the cops, and hearing it made me feel sick to my stomach. Long story short, she dropped her charges on him and let him come back. This is when I lost all respect and immediately stopped letting her watch our kids.

Please note, also, that since we moved in (November), they had a cat and a dog (chihuahua) . The dog she was actually hiding from the landlord as the lease states they are only allowed one pet and the cat was already on the lease. She would text me to let her know if the landlord was coming over so she could hide her dog. I preferred to stay out of it, but since she was watching my kids, I gave her a heads up if I knew. If the landlord had asked, I would've told him about it.

Fast forward to about 3 weeks ago. We got a dog, a beautiful 5 month old husky Bella. We paid our pet deposit immediately, signed her pet lease agreement, did everything by the book. One afternoon, P (son) and my daughter were outside in the shared, fenced in back yard with Bella, and we are indoors. We hear Bella begin yelping really loudly, and rushed out to find her laying on the ground and P2 hitting her with a baseball bat. His parents come out, he realizes he's in trouble, cries accident to mom and dad, and us, understandably upset, inform them that we saw with our own eyes it wasn't. This caused P to start yelling angrily and threateningly at my husband.

I am a very small person, usually very passive and calm. But fuck with my dog, kids, husband, or disrespect us, I turn into... I become quite ghetto sounding. I fire back.

Then in not my finest moment, I go inside and call the landlord and inform them that E and P are hiding a dog, that we are tired of picking up after it, and that their kid has been hitting our dog.

Stupidly, I let their kids still play with mine, because we share a yard and keeping them apart would only result in tears from both sides.

E and P both come from wealthy families. When we first moved in, E BRAGGED to me about vandalizing her ex's car (talking thousands of dollars of damage), and her parents paid off the family to not press charges.

Last but not least, two days ago, she told her son (witness by both my daughter and an older neighbor girl from another home) to call my daughter stupid and a loser. I forbid my daughter to play with their son anymore.

SO, between the violent outburst/drug situation in January and my dog getting hit by their kid, I didn't feel my family/dog was very safe anymore.

We looked into our state/county/city laws (also the audio recording consent laws since it does pick up audio) and decided to put up [this security system.](http://www.amazon.com/Uniden-UDR444-Guardian-4-3-Inch-Surveillance/dp/B00BIY0DFY/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1397065741&sr=8-2&keywords=uniden+security+camera+system+wireless). It is not aimed at anyones windows, it doesn't see onto their deck or front porch, it merely sees the street parking/most of the front yard, our driveway, OUR deck and most of the shared backyard.

[Front Yard View](http://i.imgur.com/VsPvM3L.jpg)

[Backyard View](http://imgur.com/yxI5ELa.jpg)

A few facts:
*We did tell the landlord we were going to do this. I told him we would **try** to put them inside looking out the windows, but that either way, we would not mount it in a way that would require any drilling holes or anything permanent. Since there is so much residue between the panes of the windows hindering visibility, it didn't work out to have them inside. We stuck to this, we mounted the cameras to a wooden block, and my husband secured it with special heavy duty (but removable) outdoor tape. It's very secure. The cords run inside through the windows.

*Like I stated, they are not pointed at anything that isn't just ours or in communal property areas.

*Our lease states nothing about prohibiting cameras.

*He has personally seen the setup, and the views on the camera.

*I feel much safer having it up.

Today we received this letter via certified mail: http://imgur.com/BPDkGdy.jpg

I have contacted a tenant/landlord attorney's office in our county to see what can be done, but I haven't heard back about scheduling a consultation yet.

But in the meantime, I don't want to take my cameras down until those people are no longer my neighbors. Any insight/suggestions, anything would be greatly appreciated.

Answer:
 > Tenant shall make no alterations, decorations, additions, or improvements in or to the premises without Landlord's prior written consent

Probably doesn't apply here.  "The premises" means the physical structure.  You have not altered, decorated, added to or improved the premises.  You merely placed your own private property on the building.  This is akin to hanging a wreath at Christmas, or hanging a flag from your window.

The only potential problem is that you have used tape to secure the cameras to the building.  That *may* (although I find it unlikely) be sufficient attachment.  A non-permanent (including adhesives) attachment would be better.

> disturbance of your "neighbor's peaceful enjoyment of the premises"

Does not mean what he thinks it means.  First, the "right of peaceful [or quiet] enjoyment" is an agreement between the landlord and your neighbor.  Barring a separate agreement, it does not extend between co-tenants.

Second, the "right of peaceful enjoyment" means that the neighbor has the right to possess, enter, and use the property.  It means the landlord warrants against superior claims of right.  It does *not* mean your neighbor won't be a dick to you.

> Further non-compliance will be considered grounds for termination of the agreement and loss of all deposits.

I haven't looked up your local laws, but I'm pretty sure the landlord can't keep your deposit simply because you breached the agreement.  If your landlord does terminate the lease without just cause, you may have the ability to sue him for any damages you suffer.

Anyway, talk to your lawyer and see what she has to say.


Title: Father-in-Law Wants to Fly My Wife and Sister-in-Law to Palm Springs to Sign for "High Value Assets"

Question:
Hello Everyone,

To start, this is written on mobile, so I apologize for any formatting issues.

TL;DR My wife and I are active duty military, married for a little under a year. Her parents are divorced; good relationship with mother, poor relationship with her father. He offered to fly my wife and sister-in-law to Palm Springs, FL to have them sign for "high value assets" to set them up for the future. My wife and I agree this is fishy and plan to hire a lawyer prior to meeting him. Is this a scam and we need further protections, or are we overthinking this?

Full Story w/ Details: My wife and I are both active duty military stationed overseas (non-deployed) who will be conducting a Permanent Change of Station (PCS) back to the continental US soon.

We have been married almost a year. Her parents are divorced; my mother-in-law and her side of the family have been a great support system and we have a strong relationship. In the last year, my father-in-law has called my wife about four times. I have never met him and my wife has been clear he can't be trusted, particularly with money (this comes from her past experience with him, details/stories are not relevant to this post). He has called to say a quick hello and drop hints at how great he is doing. The first call I heard his voice in, he called my wife and sister-in-law and tried to pressure them into a time share. They quickly refused.

A couple months ago, my father-in-law called my wife and brought up that he might want to meet her and my sister-in-law to decide his "important assets". The conversation ended there, so my wife called her mother and spoke about how it seemed fishy. We didn't speak more of the situation other than that I would definitely be present when if this were to happen.

Forward to last night. My wife received a call from her father, this time to make more solid plans. He wants to fly my wife and sister-in-law to Palm Springs, FL at the next possible time our schedules align (won't be at least six months from now) in order to discuss his "high value assets". He stated that he wants them to sign some documents and that the transaction would be "irrevocable". He claims he will be pay for their flights there and back and three nights in a hotel. My wife first confirmed that he was not sick or dying and not in any emergency situation. My wife let him know that she would only come if I am present. He refused at first, but after some talking he caved to my wife's request. I'm fairly certain I'm still not welcome. In their conversation, he said he has a "partner" that he thought we already knew about. We have not heard of this before and have no idea who this could be. We did not agree to finalize any travel plans but will more than likely visit him in the future.

Here are my issues. We can't get him to specify what these assets are. Stock, houses, cars, jewels, we have no clue what these assets are. We have zero clue who his "partner" is and he keeps dogding the question. I don't want our flights and hotel paid by him (I don't want to owe the man the first time I meet him), my wife and I will pay our own way if we meet him. He won't send us the document that he wants us to sign prior to us meeting. My wife mentioned us bringing a lawyer to represent us and he kept dogding the topic and acting like it wasn't necessary; he stated some legal entity would be there on his side but wouldnt specify what that meant. Finally, his general demeanor seems to be talking over my wife and it rubs me the wrong way. It is frustrating that he refused to speak clearly and professionally.

Our current plan. We will coordinate plans to meet him late next year. We will pay our own way and hire a lawyer in the Palm Springs area to represent us. We will refuse to sign any documents until we can sit alone with our own lawyer to fully understand the document/s.

What I need help in.
1) I have no clue what kind of lawyer to hire, I don't really know if I could explain this situation any better than this post. Do I need someone familiar with military law? Do I need a specific financial lawyer? Any suggestions and insight are appreciated.
2) I feel like this a scam, but can't find any similar scenarios online. I've searched mostly for time share scams. Am I overthinking this, or has anyone heard of scenarios like this before?

Answer:
 >We can't get him to specify what these assets are

Then don't go. Your wife should tell him that military finances are uniquely complicated for a host of reasons (which is true) and she needs advice from her accountant to decide how best to proceed. She should request an advance copy of any documents she'll be asked to sign and a breakdown of what is being done. Take both to an accountant and a lawyer. If he equivocates / drags this out / etc your wife should just tell him no plane ticket will be booked until she understands why she's flying several thousand miles from home.

The problem with your (admittedly wise) plan is that her dad could drop complex estate planning or business documents in your lap and your attorney won't be able to give you any reasonable advice in the tight time frame that you're in California. A client asking for *fast* document reviews of documents that no one has ever seen before are massive red flags and a lot of attorneys will either work to re-calibrate expectations or decline to represent you/her.

To your questions:

(1) Neither does anyone here. You don't know what you're about to be asked to do and without that information, you'd just be wasting time and money hiring a lawyer. You likely don't need a lawyer familiar with the UCMJ;

2) You have **no** idea what this is about. I wouldn't entertain any trip without a written/e-mailed explanation. A "cut the bullshit or stop talking about this" conversation needs to be had.


Title: [GA] Dad lost social security disability benefits and now SS wants him to pay back $30k+

Question: My dad is a cancer survivor and he still works as a cashier part time. He isn't able to work full time so he does part time, maybe around 20 hrs a week. He has received social security disability checks for years and has used these to help pay the mortgage,etc. Recently, we got letters stopped the SS payments saying that he has been overpaid because he earned too much. Apparently with the bonuses and holiday pay, he earned more than what social security thought he should have earned. So now not only have the social security payments stopped but social security wants him to pay back over $30k...It is going to be really difficult for us to try and scrape by without social security disability payments but on top of that how can we pay back that amount of money?? This makes no sense... that money went to our house payment, we have no means of paying it back. Also, my dad gets his health insurance through social security. He is still a few years under 65 so does this mean we are expected to go homeless trying to pay the government back? And how do we pay medical bills without social security insurance?? I am having a breakdown...this seems like an insane situation

Answer:
 You need to complete and submit paperwork for waiver of overpayment. https://www.ssa.gov/forms/ssa-632.pdf

In order to get the overpayment waived, he will need to demonstrate BOTH 1. the overpayment was not his fault AND 2. repayment of the overpayment would create financial hardship.

In your father’s situation, it will be important for him to provide any evidence that he has that he provided the Social Security administration with information regarding his continuing earnings.  Even if he does not qualify for an outright waiver, he may qualify to have any overpayment recoup based on a payment schedule from his monthly checks.

If your father‘s financial situation is dire, it would be worth having a conversation with a bankruptcy attorney. The overpayment may or may not be dischargeable in bankruptcy.


Title: Attorney fees question

Question: The other party was just ordered to pay my attorney fees. Does that mean I get it or my attonerny does? The judge said paid to my attorney by a certain date. I am hoping me because I've paid so much already I could use it.

Answer:
 The payment is meant to cover what you owe your attorney or any fees they have incurred on your behalf.

If you have already paid your attorney in full, then this will be reimbursement for your fees.

If you have not paid your attorney, then this money will go to pay your fees.


Title: Was in a motorcycle accident caused by a school bus possibly stopped in a non-designated area to drop off children (OH)

Question:
I was driving on some backroads coming around a corner (one with a yellow "30 mph" speed limit suggestion sign) and was going maybe 45 or 50. As I come around I see a school bus at a dead stop maybe a 100ft in front of me. I hit the brakes but realized I wouldn't stop in time so I aimed for the ditch rather than the lane on the opposite side in case there was oncoming traffic.

I clipped the side of the bus with the left side of my handle bars and busted my bike up pretty bad. I bailed off the bike in the ditch and I'm pretty sore, and may have a broken thumb, but otherwise I'm ok.

After a minute or so of people getting out of their cars to see if I was ok, the bus just left. The driver never got out or anything. I know I hit the bus, but I figured he just left once he realized I wasn't dead. Later on I thought that he really shouldn't have left the scene probably, since I for sure hit the bus.

I thought, though, it's probably my fault for not stopping in time and going faster than the suggested speed, plus I'm sure there was a "School Bus Stop Ahead" sign that I missed ahead of time.

On my way in to work this morning I kept an eye out, and there were signs warning about the bus stop coming from the opposite direction (which is on a straight away), and no signs I could see on the side of the road I was on when it happened. Also the bus was stopped letting the kid off to a house that was on the opposite side of the road. Which seems odd for the safety of the child.

So the conclusion I'm coming to is that the bus was stopped on the wrong side of the road to let this kid out, rather than making him ride the whole route and then get out on the way back. And it's a dangerous place to stop due to the curve and visibility.

My bike was worth maybe 2k before the accident, but now it's probably worth 400-500. Do have any legal ground to stand on to try to get the school district to pay for anything in regards to repairs or anything? Is it even going to be worth it to pursue?

Answer:
 Sounds like you were driving too fast for road conditions and couldn't stop properly.  The issue isn't "the bus shouldn't have been there", the issue is "you were going too fast."Answer #2: >Also the bus was stopped letting the kid off to a house that was on the  opposite side of the road. Which seems odd for the safety of the child.

Buses do this all the time.  They have a specific route they follow, and it is probably infeasible to pull a U-turn to let the child off on the side of the road that they live on.  In fact, this is precisely what the red flashing lights, extended "stop" sign, and the law requiring traffic in both directions to stop is meant to address: so the child can safely cross the road.


Title: Is it considered loan fraud if I donate legally earned money to my own YouTube account which YouTube then documents/verifies as income for my YouTube account and then I use that documentation by YouTube to apply for a loan?

Question:
Basically I need a “verifiable source of income” to apply for a loan and by setting up a YouTube account and donating to that account with my own money, could count as a “verifiable source of income” which I can then use to apply for a loan.

Loan fraud is giving misinformation to loan applications. Would I be giving misinformation by providing YouTubes own documentation about my accounts income?

Answer:
 OP, why are you asking for advice, just to then argue with everyone that tells you it’s fraud? Obviously you had a hunch that it’s not right if you asked the question. If you don’t like the advice don’t follow it, but arguing with everyone just because you don’t like the answer is pretty sad.Answer #2: Hey I looked through your history and it would appear as though you're serious about this.

Don't do what you're asking about doing. You will get in trouble if you're caught and you will lose money no matter what.Answer #3: Yes it is fraud to falsify your income for a loan.Answer #4: Imagine how smart this guy thinks he is that he came up with such an idiotic plan and then shares those ideas on social media.Answer #5: You're stating that no one is giving you facts and is giving you opinion so here are some facts.

18 U.S. Code § 1344.Bank fraud:
"Whoever knowingly executes, or attempts to execute, a scheme or artifice—
(1)to defraud a financial institution; or
(2)to obtain any of the moneys, funds, credits, assets, securities, or other property owned by, or under the custody or control of, a financial institution, by means of false or fraudulent pretenses, representations, or promises;
shall be fined not more than $1,000,000 or imprisoned not more than 30 years, or both."

The legal definition of fraudulent pretenses does include laundering money through a secondary organization in order to create a paper trail of income that is not actual income. This has been proven by several presidents which if you ask for, I will track down and find.

Please stop arguing with everyone. It's fraud.


Title: Stopped while in a parking spot without blue lights? What kind of recourse do I have.

Question: Last night while dropping my brother off a cop pulled up while we were getting out of the car. He started yelling and drew his gun and demanding we get back in the car. We cooperated at which point he told me that the make of the car it was registered under was different than the vehicle that it was. I drive a Volvo and dispatch stated it was a Volkswagen. During the course of the interaction I learn that dispatch mistakenly told him the wrong make by accident. By the time it was over a total of 4 cop cars arrived. I consented to a search of the vehicle because I believed the car to be clean. However during the search the officer found approximately a .5 g bud underneath the seat that I didn't know was there. I do smoke however I had just recently vacuumed out my car and didn't actually have any "on" me. He cited me and sent me on my way. So was the search and seizure performed legally? I know I consented but was hoping if the initial stop wasn't warranted then the consent was manipulated.

Answer:
 The burden of proof needed for the initial stop is "reasonable suspicion."

If dispatch told the officer the wrong make by accident, the officer did have reasonable suspicion to stop the car, and the initial stop was good.

The question here will be whether or not additional reasonable suspicion (to continue the stop) developed prior to the error being discovered.

Example 1: As soon as the officer starts talking to you, he can smell marijuana.  Now he can detain you even after he finds out about the initial error.

Example 2: Nothing unusual occurs before he finds out about the error.  He can no longer legally continue the stop and should tell you to have a nice day as you leave.  If he kept you after that and found drugs, then it will be suppressed.

This is fact specific.  Talk to an attorney in your area.


Title: About to rent a condo den with someone. Can this be a scam? If so, how do I protect myself?

Question:
Ok not sure if this is the right place to post this but I do need some help.

I found a nice condo that someone is offering to share. It’s one bedroom but I get the den. The dude is mad cheap but says it’s his moms condo, so she is the landlord. It’s a short lease of three months but he wants me to pay first and last. He also is too cheap to buy another key because it’s expensive but says he’ll let me have his key and to just leave the door unlocked when I leave.

He sent me a rental application form which looked legit and sent me an agreement to lease form that looked legit as well. Everything looks fine on both, and he also told me to read it carefully to not miss anything and also says I need rental insurance (getting it separately).

Is there anyway this dude can fuck me over? What if I pay him first and last and he leaves? Is there anything I should watch out for or am I being paranoid? Sorry, really want the place but I’m broke and can’t lose that much money.

Answer:
 I would be concerned that the guy does not have the right to sublease the den to you.

Who leaves their door unlocked in a city? Aren’t you worried about stuff being stolen? By his “friends” perhaps?

Keys cost a few $ to copy. That part really doesn’t smell right.


Title: Irritated landlord, what do I need to do anything to protect myself?

Question: [deleted]

Answer: Make sure you know the terms of the lease and stick to them. Don't give him an excuse to terminate the lease early and add more chaos to your plans.


Title: (California) RoomMate creeped on me, shared personal information and photos, medication, etc

Question:
I'm not entirely sure what here is criminal and what here is not, but I was told to file a police report to get it on paper(and I did, this post is mostly the body from said report)

Apparently, over the course of the semester, one of my roommates has been going through my personal items, opening up my drawers and going through my possessions. In doing so, he found medication that I take (I am transgender and am undergoing a hormone replacement therapy trial run) and he shared this information with other students, showing them the bottle and informing them of my condition.
He apparently also went through my computer when I left it on my desk, opening several of my accounts and rifling through my personal information. From this, he found several nude photographs and videos, which he again shared with other students. This is my personal information and I feel extremely targeted and victimized, and this pretty clearly seems like harassment or something else. I feel horrifically violated.
In addition to all this, he used my steam account to buy a 20 dollar game which was charged to my credit card.
What do I do? What /can/ I do? Is it legally my fault because I left my computer unlocked or because the images were posted to another website? Apparently this has been going on ALL SEMESTER and nobody informed me, not even my other roommate! What kind of recourse do I have here? I have like 6 witnesses that are willing to testify.

Answer:
 You've reported everything to the police which is a good start. Also if you live in dorms or any sort of school housing report this to your RA, student council and the school administration.

Next telling people you are on meds which they could have seen you take may not get any traction but the rest is serious. Going through your personal belongings to get at your meds is but you may have trouble proving it.

Sharing pornographic pictures and videos of you was a big no. I would either get a lawyer or go personally to the DA's office and push them to charge this person as this could likely fall under revenge porn laws. As another user pointed out then, the steam purchase is credit card fraud. Report this to your credit card company, police and even steam.


Title: Cousin Deported From US While Visiting

Question:
My cousin (26f) flew in to TX from El Salvador to visit my parents for two and a half months. She visited the year before and stayed for six months. My parents regularly host our extended family from El Salvador. When she arrived, immigration pulled her aside and began questioning her. My dad and oldest sister kept calling for info and were told nothing. She said that they forced her to sign a paper and didn't explain what it said; it was in English. They told her if she didn't sign she would get five years in prison. She later found out that it said that she was illegally working in the US when she went to the embassy in El Salvador.

She says that they kept her in a very cold room for several hours without being able to eat, drink, or go to the bathroom until late at night. She arrived at the airport at noon. She was never allowed to make a phone call.

She was questioned on how she was able to stay here so long. When she said her family was hosting her they told her that no one puts up with someone under them without working for months. They asked her why she was bringing so many things with her. She replied that it was all gifts for her family. Which they always bring lots of gifts for us for example handmade shoes and our favorite snacks/cheeses from El Salvador.

They accused her of covering for her dad who stayed here in 2016. He came to visit his brother (my dad) because my 14 yo sister had just died and my uncle had just lost his 24 yo son to gang violence. They claimed that he was still in the US. He lives in El Salvador and owns a towing company.

My cousin is traumatized and afraid that she will never be able to visit again. She doesn't plan on ever moving here. She runs her own restaurant in her country but loves to come see us.

Is there anything legally that she can do?

Answer:
 You can talk to an immigration lawyer but it's very likely you don't have all the story. A citizen of another country has no innate right to enter the US. Answer #2: > Is there anything legally that she can do?

It's hard to say without knowing exactly what she signed and what paperwork she was given to justify her removal from the United States. Certain kinds of removal orders come with statutory bars to readmission for a length of time (or sometimes are permanent).

You will want to put the paperwork in front of an immigration lawyer to obtain their take on it.


Title: Will moving to a different state be a problem for child support/custody?

Question: I’m 6 months pregnant and my ex has left me. I would like to move back home to be close to family because I will need help with a newborn and I need support. When the baby is born I would like to file for child support. I plan to give birth where I work now and then move home during maternity leave and look for a job. I do not think the father will move, although I am not opposed if he does and he wants to be involved. I realize that if I file for child support he has custody rights and I’m worried I’ll be doing something illegal by moving 8 hours away. I cant afford for him not to pay child support and I cant stay where I am now and do this alone.  I have tried to get him in person to talk about all of this but he refuses to speak to me.

Answer: You  need to move before the baby is born. That would establish the new state as baby's home.


Title: [Maryland] My biological father is demanding I mail my phone to him, and if I don't he is "pressing charges"

Question: My father sent me this phone about a year ago as a gift because he left. Today we emailed my mother (I am a minor) demanding that she mail the phone back to him in 2 weeks or else he will press charges. Can he actually do this? My mother was awarded a default divorce, so there was no agreement on what happened to everything in the house they shared.

Answer:
 He can report it stolen. The police will look at this situation, go "civil matter, NOPE" and move on.

He can attempt to sue your mother in small claims for the phone. If it was a gift that's not going very far.

He can cancel the plan if he's paying for the phone line. Answer #2: Heads-up, OP.

If he reports this phone as lost/stolen to the service provider, the phone will become a wifi-only internet browser. Once the ESN/IMEI is listed as lost/stolen, the phone is pretty much forever blocked from using mobile data with any legitimate service provider. (You can't undo it, in my experience.)

If it is an iPhone or a newer Samsung device, he may be able to remotely brick the device, and turn it into an expensive paperweight. (Depends on if he knows the iCloud/Samsung Account passwords.)

This is not a good fight to fight with him.

IANAL; I am a phone repairwoman.

(WTF phone. Just autocorrected "repairwoman" to "repairman".)

Edit- As I said below, OP's dad doesn't need to know the ESN. He just has to tell his carrier that the phone is lost/stolen.Answer #3: No you are not obligated to give the phone back because it was a gift. The police will likely tell him it is a civil matter if he tries to press charges. He would have to try and sue your mother for the cost of the phone in small claims court which is he likely to lose.Answer #4: Is your dad a state prosecutor?


Title: My family and I are vacationing In florida. We might be getting billed for something we didn't know about.

Question: So like I said. My family and I are vacationing In florida, in a condo we are renting from someone online. We had an antifreeze leak we didn't know about in the parking lot. While we were gone, the president of the condo association called the fire department and had a "hazmat team" come clean up about half a gallon of antifreeze. We got back and he told us what happened and said we would be getting the bill if he got one. Is that legal?

Answer: It's perfectly legal to charge you for damage you cause.  If you don't pay, he can sue you and there's a good chance(not a guarantee) that he would win.


Title: My girlfriend just signed the lease to her apartment today and we have trouble

Question: [deleted]

Answer:
 Your lease might have a specific section on early termination of the lease, but you are not going to break the lease without penalty here.

Maybe if you talk to the complex they can move her apartment, but having a creepy neighbor is not grounds to terminate a lease.


Title: I believe I was wrongfully terminated, need some advice please.

Question:
Should I sue?

2 weeks ago I was fired from my job which I had for 11 months, I believe that I might have a case to sue for wrongful termination and I’m hoping that someone here can tell me whether I do or not, thanks in advance. 4 months into the job my direct superior was pushed out by the CEO to make room for a friend who was recently laid off.  One month after my new boss was hired, two of my subordinates approached me to complain about our new boss; we voiced our complaints to the owner. This resulted in me being given a first and final warning and one of the subordinates being fired. 7 months later after constant harassing and me continuing to oblige, I was asked to work more hours and I informed her that these were the hours I negotiated with her predecessor and that I’d be open to working more hours if we re-negotiated my salary. The next day without any warning I was fired.

Oh I forgot to mention;  the HR person is also the CFO which I believe to be a conflict of interest since an HR person is supposed to look after the employees’ interests, concerns, and well-being whereas a CFO is only interested in the business and the finances of the business.

Edit: Located in California

Answer:
 > the HR person is also the CFO which I believe to be a conflict of interest since an HR person is supposed to look after the employees’ interests, concerns, and well-being

LOL that's cute. Wrong, but cute. Answer #2: HR doesn't work for you.

It works for the company. They never work for you.

Learn that lesson and learn it quick. Answer #3: Without a location we can't say for sure, but it doesn't seem like you were wrongfully terminated. They wanted you to work more, you didn't, they fired you. Simple.Answer #4: You haven't described a whiff of wrongful termination in most states.


Title: (MO) Is this list enough to file a family access motion?

Question:
My ex tried to take away my rights when we first went to court, and she lost.  Since then, she's done everything in her power to minimize my time, and relationship with my daughter.  She's alienated my family and I, and it's only getting worse.  My question is whether it's enough to file the motion, or if I need to continue to document, and file later.  We just finalized a modification in August, but it was settled out of court, so I was unable to address any of these issues then.  What I do know for a fact is that my 7 year old daughter is already being turned against my family and I, and something needs to be done.  Thanks in advance for your input, here's the list...

Allows our daughter to disrespect me during our nightly phone calls, and will not intervene, or communicate with me about it.

Refuses to allow our daughter to call any of her grandparents on my side, stating that she’s only allowed to call them when she’s with me.  There have been several situations where our daughter has expressed her desire to call her grandparents to her mother; when she lost her first tooth for example.  Our daughter is often forced to wait days to tell her family members important news about her life.

Her mother is extremely inefficient in communicating about things that directly affect our daughter, and our daughter almost didn’t get to play basketball this year (2016) because of it.

Her mother refuses to engage in conversation with me over the phone or in person, about anything concerning our daughter.

Her mother refuses, or takes weeks to discuss important issues with me via email about our daughter.

It took me months to get our daughter’s insurance documents from her mother, so that will be able to have the information if our daughter has to go to the ER or doctor when she’s with me.

Our daughter has expressed that both her mother and stepfather talk badly about myself and my family when she’s with them.  Our daughter has told me verbatim that her mother says I don’t think about anyone but myself, that my parents are bad people, and that’s why she doesn’t get to call or spend the night with them.

Our daughter is having an increasingly hard time understanding the mechanics of a blended family, and is acting out, and getting in trouble in school because of it.

Our daughter is always standoffish when she first sees me during our visits, because of the messages she’s getting at her mom’s.

Her mother does not update me on anything that goes on in our daughter’s personal life when asked, and does not want me involved with our daughter.  The only information I get from her mother about our daughter’s life are flyers for school functions.  Any other information I get has to come from our daughter during our visits and phone calls.

Our daughter is allowed to call her stepfather “dad” when she’s at her mother’s house, and has referred to him as “dad” while at my house as well.

Her mother refuses to talk to me about anything that has to do with how our daughter should be disciplined, so that we can be on the same page when our daughter gets in trouble.  This has led to differing punishments at both homes, and a lot of confusion for our daughter when she gets in trouble.

Her mother does not report to me when our daughter is hurt at school, or at home.  At this time, our daughter has a permanent deep scar on her nose that could have used stiches, that I was not informed about until I asked her mother about it.  By then it was too late to do anything about it.

Her mother has allowed our daughter to ride in her brother-in-law’s vehicle without a car seat because he doesn’t have one.  When asked, her mother will not communicate about this issue.

Our daughter is not allowed to have or display any pictures of myself or my family in her room at her mothers.  She is also not allowed to bring certain toys, or clothes to my house, whether she wants to or not.

It is my belief that myself, and my family are clearly being alienated, and if it doesn’t stop, it’s only going to get worse in the years to come.  In the first custody hearing, her mother tried taking my parental rights away completely, and failed.  Since then, she’s done everything possible to minimize contact, and keep myself and my family as far away from our daughter as she can.  She has no desire to co-parent at all, and I can see it affecting our daughter every single day.

My goal of this is to have her mother get counseling on the importance of co-parenting, and providing our daughter with a continuing and meaningful relationship with both parents and all grandparents.  I will also be pushing for alternative dispute resolution, so that I'll be able to discuss these issues with her mother face to face in a safe setting.  If this is enough to file a family access motion, and you think I'll have a chance at getting the results I want, what can I do to ensure that I do well in court?  Some of these things I can't prove, such as our daughter calling her stepfather dad, without bringing it up in front of my daughter, and recording audio or video.  I feel like doing that would hurt our daughter, and also hurt my chances in court.  How else can I prove these things though?  Can I take my daughter in for a counseling session and have her answers documented that way?

Answer:
 You should consult with a family law attorney in your jurisdiction. Do you have an Order? If you do and she violates it, then you can file for contempt. If not, then talk to a lawyer and file something. I think it's awesome that you want to use mediation, but you have to decide if that's working.

You can't force mom into counseling.

Document everything, but don't try to talk to your daughter about this stuff. Courts hate that crap. You are under the impression that your word won't be sufficient. It could be. Heck, your ex might go into court and say, "He calls my husband dad." She's allowed to do that.

One other thing--kids react to divorce in a lot of ways. It's hard to blame the kid for being standoffish. She's a passive actor in your failed relationship.

Anyway, you need a lawyer.


Title: Unlawful Arrest

Question:
Miami, Florida

In short, I was arrested for "resisting arrest without violence" without any corresponding charge. I was operating an alcohol bar at a music festival that was permitted to sell liquor until 10pm. Police officers attempted to shut me down at 935 pm but I told them no and that we have a permit until 10. My bosses confirmed this for me and I continued to tell the officer no until he threatened to arrest. I asked my boss one last time to confirm and he did so I told the officer no again. At this point, I was told "you're under arrest" and calmly placed my hands behind my back and let them handcuff me. They then took me to the back and a female officer tried to search me. I am male and asked "why are you searching me" and "what am I being arrested for" to no avail. After completing the search against my will, they took me to another area away from witnesses, slammed me to the floor, and pinned me to the ground for an undisclosed reason. I have witnesses that were able to see this and the officers lied on the report by saying I threw myself to the ground to avoid the search, even though I had already been searched. I am wondering if this proof enough of an unlawful arrest and if my employers are liable for telling me to continue selling alcohol. I was simply passing down the message and my supervisor was in the bar at the time but left when I told him I was about to be arrested. Thanks for any help you can give me. ended up spending 18 hours in jail for this so would like to seem so form of restitution if possible.

Answer:
 >  I am wondering if this proof enough of an unlawful arrest

The activities *after* the arrest are not evidence of an unlawful arrest.  You were clearly arrested for some form of "ignoring a lawful order", either a form of obstruction or a violation of some other ordinance or statute.  Based on that, your arrest is not "unlawful".

Note that "unlawful arrest" has a specific definition, namely one in which there was *no* probable cause.  That's different that a guilty verdict on the charge.  There does not appear to be an unlawful arrest here.


Title: What's it called when your work significantly cuts your hours?

Question:
I've worked part-time for 4 years at a company that gave me 24-30 hours per week.  For the past 2 months, my hours have been cut down to about 6 per week and I'm starting to feel the lack of income.  The reason they cut the hours wasn't because of me or my work product but to give hours to about 40 temporary employees.  These employees should have been let go after our busy season ended but I guess management wants to keep them around until the next busy season (next summer) so they are taking days from other employees and giving them out to the temps.  Instead of 10 employees getting 3 days a week, they have 30 getting 1 day a week.

I'm wondering if this is a type of unemployment that I can collect benefits on or what my options might be.

Answer: "Constructive dismissal" I believe is the term you're looking for, and yes, if one's hours are cut so severely that they're effectively no longer gainfully employed, they can be eligible for unemployment insurance benefits.


Title: Roommate signed a contract while nobody else was in the house

Question:
Located in massachusetts.

So yesterday my fucking dumb roommate apparently signed a contract with some people who came to the house claiming to be national grid. So basically they made him sign this contract which was charging $10 per month for electricity. Then he signed on this second page which was completely blank. I dont know what went through his head when he was doing this. Does anyone here have any experience with scam companies like this? And how legally binding would that contract be?

Any answers are appreciated. Thanks in advance!

Answer:
 Whosoever name is on the electricity bill needs to call them up right now and tell them they don't authorize any changes made to the account and then send a follow up letter with a return receipt saying the same thing.Answer #2: Since it was a door to door sale, I believe you have three-days in which you cancel the contract under the federal "cooling off" period.  Is the roommate willing to cancel?

https://www.consumer.ftc.gov/articles/0176-buyers-remorse-when-ftcs-cooling-rule-may-help


Title: [Illinois] Who is the rightful owner of this gaming property?

Question:
Several years ago, I bought a website from this guy who made it. The website was actually a webgame. Let's call it KillerSpaceships.com. I purchased the site via a 3rd party auction site - it's like eBay but for websites.

I am located in Illinois, and the seller is located in another country.

KillerSpaceships.com is currently under my ownership - the domain has been transferred to me and I host it on my own web hosting. I have made some edits and had someone fix some bugs. I get all of the revenue (just a few bucks a month).

There's no conflict about who owns KillerSpaceships.com. In fact, there's no conflict about anything - the seller and I are happy.

Now, what if I wanted to commission someone to make Killer Spaceships 2. Could the seller potentially claim it's his IP even though he transferred ownership of the website to me? Remember, KillerSpaces iss just a website, just like Reddit or any other website that can be bought and sold.

I realize that the language of the sales contract would come into play, and that will generally say that all rights to the website are transferred.

Sadly, Killer Spaceships 2 may never happen, but I'm just curious.

Answer:
 Not a lawyer, in law school, this is not legal advice, speak to an actual lawyer for legal advice.

Your ownership of the website does not necessarily mean you can also use the intellectual property (IP) unless that IP was specifically transferred or licensed to you by the author. Further, even if you did get a license to use that IP, you need to be certain exactly what your license covers.

If you're serious about Killer Spaceships 2, speak to a copyright lawyer and establish the existence (if any) and extent of a license/transfer for the IP, and if it will not be sufficient for your purposes, approach the author of the IP to discuss the license/transfer of the IP. If there's not much money in it, it might be pretty cheap.

This is a very common type of transaction and you will find lots of info about it if you look.


Title: (NY) Price Discrimination Explicitly Based on Race/Gender/Sexuality

Question:
Hi /r/legaladvice,

This isn't something that I'm looking to take any kind of legal action about, just something I'm curious to know the legality of. I'm a standup comedian, and I recently learned about a new comedy festival occurring in NYC that has a policy which seems like illegal price discrimination.

Comedy festivals typically charge an application fee ($10-$30) to comedians that are applying to be part of the festival. This festival is explicitly offering a lower submission fee to certain applicants based on race/gender/sexuality. In the exact words of the festival organizer as she solicits donations for the festival:

> Why should you donate to ________ Comedy Festival? Because we're charging women, people of color and lgbt folks 77 cents on the dollar ($19.25) to white men ($25) to submit their act.

Like I said up top, I don't really care enough about this to want to actually report this to some authority or anything like that. I'm just curious to know the legalities here, because my immediate thought was "It can't possibly be legal to explicitly offer different pricing based on the criteria of race/gender/sexual orientation".

**EDIT:** Not sure what happened with the 8 deleted comments. If my post violated any of this sub's rules please let me know and I'll make whatever revisions are needed.

Answer:
 In my opinion this is illegal discrimination.

It's a business selling a service (access to their stage) to the public, and they are explicitly selecting three protected class characteristics for offered price differences.   Just because they are turning historical inequalities upside down does not make it any less discriminatory.

But their defense (and it's a good one) is that their pricing is really speech.    They are not hiding it, but rather advertising it.   They're doing it for a specific reason of artistic and political expression.

I don't think this is related to the way New York courts have handled challenges to "Ladies Night" discounts at nightclubs and restaurants, which has basically been to say "suck it up, Romeo."

It's more like the "Pay Equality Bake Sale" on a college campus where women pay 77% of full price for a donut.

I personally wouldn't go within a statute mile of a comedy festival that's taken such an approach to recruiting their lineup;  social justice warriors aren't notable for their senses of humor.


Title: [FL] Question about transporting cremated remains on international flight

Question:
x-posted to /r/travel, but please advise if there's anywhere else I should post this.

My husband passed away in August 2016 and his remains were cremated. After he died, I planned a major trip, spending nine days in China (4 days in Beijing, 5 days in Hong Kong), in his memory, because he and I studied abroad in Hong Kong in college and always wanted to go back there. I am planning to scatter some of his ashes while I'm there.

My question is about transporting the ashes. I am flying TPA-SFO (5 days in SFO) -HGH-PEK (4 days in PEK) -HKG. I'm flying United, Air China, and China Southern. I've read TSA's policies on carrying remains through security, but I haven't seen anything about carrying remains on international flights and bringing them into a foreign country. What advice would you offer? I will be carrying two small metal tubes in black velvet pouches, and I will bring the certificate from the crematorium. But what else should I do to ensure that I don't have any issues?

Answer:
 Try contacting the [ChineseEmbasy](http://www.china-embassy.org/eng/) and/or the and asking what information they will need.

>I will be carrying two small metal tubes in black velvet pouches

Keep in mind that the urn/container must be screened through an X-ray machine.  The TSA [recommends containers made from light weight plastic or wood](https://www.tsa.gov/news/releases/2004/09/07/tsa-partners-funeral-homes-safely-transport-cremated-remains).  Also using a container that doesn't look like a pipe bomb may be prudent :)


Title: Hit a stopped car behind me

Question:
Tl;dr backed up, hit a stopped car. Other party does not have insurance or a drivers license on hand.

I was driving on a semi-busy street and I was going pretty fast, but a little under the legal driving limit, made a fast stop and I ended up going past the line by about 5 feet. I was already past the line before the light turned red. I then proceeded to back up and did not notice a car that was parked like literally on my ass and hit it. So me and the other party turned right and we both agreed to stop further ahead because there was more space.

The other party aggressively demanded $500 for an ever so slightly dent on her car that’s behind the license plate. I gave her my insurance but did not had over my drivers license. She then threatened to call her attorney and our insurance company. After she said that, I did not respond to her and kept quiet and called 911.

After 911 came, me and the other party both gave our testimonies on what has happened and it happened so that he spoke in Chinese to me because English is not my dominant language. Then he asked for both our insurances and drivers license, I handed both mine to the officer, but the other party did not have both their drivers license and insurance. Then the officer gave the other a party a ticket for not having their drivers license on hand. The lady was pretty mad and wanted to file a lawsuit. She threatened to use the fact that he spoke Chinese to me to use it against me and the cop in court. Saying that we said shady things and the cop has advised me on what to do and such.

The cop filed an incident report and explained what was gonna happen and left. I have recorded everything that has happened when the officer arrived on site. No one knows that I recorded it but I did not include any faces in the recording, just everything that was said between me, the other party, and the cop.

What can I do?

Answer: What's to do? you backed up into a vehicle. The other driver should file a claim against your insurance to have the damage fixed. You can pay your deductible and have your vehicle fixed.


Title: Cosigner of a car loan for daughter has now gone to debt collections

Question: A couple years ago I cosigned on a loan for my daughter and her, then boyfriend. The car was repoed about 8 months later. They only made 2 payments. The loan was for I think $8000. About a year ago we got documents in the mail from the bank concerning the payment of the loan, I told my daughter to take care of it, she said she had started making payments. A few weeks ago received a letter from a debt collection agency. My daughter never made arrangements to repay loan now debt coolest or wants a little hit over $14000. The amount they are asking just doesn't seem legal or right to me. Trying to find out if there is anything I can do to not pay that full amount. If any body has any other question to ask for info I haven't added in here please ask will provide it. Thanks you for ahead of time for any help and assistance given. I'm in North Carolina.

Answer: You are just as responsible for the debt as she is. That's what the consequence of cosigning a loan is. It is over $14,000 now because of interest+fees.


Title: Possible abusive situation next door involving special needs 5 year old. Not sure how to handle it.

Question:
Thanks for taking the time to read this, my wife and I are at a little bit of a loss as to how to handle the situation. I'll keep it as brief as possible.

&#x200B;

Neighbors in their late 20s moved in approximately two years ago. For the purposes of this post we'll call them John and Sally. Approximately one year ago they got some bizarre custody situation of a little boy we'll call Tyler. If I remember correctly, Sally told my wife Tyler is her nephew and they have custody of him because something is wrong with her brother? Maybe legal trouble? I know at one point they claimed to be going through the adoption process because they couldn't have children. I say that it's a bizarre arrangement because we go stretches of between 2-4 weeks without seeing Tyler and then suddenly he's outside every day for 2-4 weeks. Sometimes he gets dropped off by I'm guessing Sallys mother?

&#x200B;

First and foremost, I don't have any idea at all if the court system is aware of this arrangement or what. I will try to put this as delicately as possible but neither John nor Sally have their full faculties about them. Sally told my wife that she and John met in their special education high school. John is very nice, a bit odd, and seems rather harmless but totally aloof. Their parents are over often (at least twice a week) and seem to help them out a lot. Sally has also mentioned to my wife that Tyler is special needs like them (her words, not mine).

&#x200B;

Now ordinarily, I'm the kind of man that minds his own business but I've gotten fed up with listening to Sally CONSTANTLY berate Tyler for doing what 5 year-old children do. Honestly he's a very nice little boy, super quiet and shy, and doesn't seem to be in anyway out of the ordinary in my estimate. My own nephews are little hell beasts compared to Tyler.

Now, I will say I have never witnessed her get physically abusive other than grabbing him up by his arm and leading him in the house where the verbal abuse escalates. Her screaming at him is a daily occurrence and it usually goes something like this. First, she sends him to play outside. Then she comes out about two or three times in 10 minutes intervals to yell at him because he's not playing hard enough and that he can't be in the house all day. Finally, on the last time, she gets fed up and will start berating him for "acting like a baby" and "not being a big boy"(and god forbid if the poor kid starts crying, that seems to really set her off for some reason) and forces him in the house. I can hear it escalate exponentially in the house. She tries to control herself outside but when she takes him in, she is screaming and I mean screaming at the top of her lungs at the kid and it goes on for a while, sometimes up to 15 minutes. It's hard to make out every word but she's definitely cursing at him. With how wild her rage gets, I worry about what's going on inside and if it's possibly turning physical. Usually John is at work when this is happening but if he's home, John almost always leaves with the boy after one of her tirades. I've never heard John raise his voice and he's the only one I've ever seen show Tyler any affection.

&#x200B;

I spend a lot of time outside and don't technically *witness* these interactions because we have a large privacy fence and I don't even know if she's aware my wife and I are out there most of the time because we are usually pretty quiet. I can honestly say, unless Sally sees us out front or we are making our presence known, she is never nice to the kid and treats him like a tremendous burden. If she sees us or is aware we are there she tends to show a little bit more patience.

&#x200B;

So, am I overreacting? Is this even abuse? If so, What should I do? I don't have any proof and I don't think I could record her because most of the abuse is happening in the home.

&#x200B;

Thanks so much for taking the time to read this!

Answer:
 You don’t need proof. You’re not the police or CPS. Please call Child Protective Services and describe what you’ve seen and heard because you suspect abuse is occurring.

855-444-3911

Don’t downplay it. Don’t get uncomfortable about maybe it not being abuse. That’s not your responsibility to make that decision, but you should let professionals know what you’ve seen and heard. You’re just providing information.


Title: [CA] How do you protect yourself against a slumlord?

Question:
95% of the town is owned by slumlords. The rest are really expensive and out of my reach.

There are reviews about them keeping deposits, false claims, etc. Multiple companies with bad reviews.

Answer: You do research, have reasonable expectations, and recognize that if a deal is too good to be true, it usually isn't a good deal.Answer #2: Documentation when moving in/out. Get things in writing.


Title: Never been in trouble before- arrested this weekend for resisting and disorderly conduct (IN)

Question:
I'm in Indiana. I'll try to make this as short as possible. I honestly just want to be prepared when I go to court on Wednesday.

Friday night my husband was pulled over for expired tags, breathalyzed (blew 0.002 over legal limit, so not belligerent but still illegal) and taken to jail for DUI. The police were hostile with him (threatened to tase him when he asked for a breathalyzer instead of field sobriety tests, then had a taser pointed at his head the entire interaction) so I was very on edge. I noticed none of the cop cars were marked so while sitting in the car watching my husband, I called our local dispatch, explained I was surrounded by 6-7 unmarked police cars, the officers were aggressive with my husband and I was uncomfortable. I asked if they could send a city cop by. Well, the state troopers must have heard my call come through their radios because about 5 seconds later an officer literally drug me out of my truck, threw me on the ground, handcuffed me and took me to jail. I didn't even know I was in trouble until I was in the cop car.

My main questions are:
Do I need a lawyer? - I'm pleading not guilty at court and have never been in trouble before other than traffic tickets.

How do your miranda rights really work? - I only know what I see on tv/movies. Are officers required to read your rights at the time of arrest? Do they have to actually say, "you're under arrest for thus and so"? I was never read any rights (neither was my husband) or even told what I was being arrested for until I was being booked.

Do all police officers wear sound recording devices and if so, can we request the audio or is that only for investigation purposes?

How does excessive force work? - I am a 5ft, 100lb girl, there was no need rip me from my car and slam me on the ground. My glasses are broken and I have bruises along my jawline from the ground- this wasn't just a jerk from the car. I'm not going to try to sue the police department or anything, but I would like to make a complaint about the officer if it's warranted.

Edit: now that I've gotten some answers, I understand that me not feeling safe really doesn't matter in the eyes of police officers. So I will get an attorney and see where to go from here. Thanks for the advice!

Answer:
 > Do I need a lawyer?

Yes.

> Are officers required to read your rights at the time of arrest?

No.  They only need to give you your Miranda **warnings**(not rights) if you are in custody and being interrogated.  An arrest does not trigger a legal requirement for Miranda warnings.

> Do they have to actually say, "you're under arrest for thus and so"?

No.

> Do all police officers wear sound recording devices

No.  If it exists, you can request it as part of the discovery process for your hearing.

You can file an excessive force complaint if you want.  Answer #2: I take it you are out of jail now? With what are you charged? Calling the dispatch is not illegal, but refusing to get out of the car is what got you in trouble. The officer was likely going to let it slide until you called.

You should absolutely document with pictures your bruises, injuries and broken glasses. It also might help to go to the doctor to have your injuries documented that way.

Get an attorney, and follow his/her advice.


Title: My pregnant wife got fired. She has been discriminated ever since her boss found she got pregnant (AZ).

Question: Before my wife got this job in June we were already planning on having a baby.  It just so happen to be that 2 weeks after she was hired, she got pregnant.  We weren’t planning on telling that many people as it was barely the early stages of her pregnancy but as time went by we were super excited as it is our first baby.  We end up telling our bosses and my boss is super stoked while my wife’s boss not so much.  We both work in the same school district just different departments.  My wife’s boss had been making remarks about my wife’s belly saying stuff like “once your belly is gone,  I’m not going to be helping you like I am right now!”  Just very negative remarks and unfair conditions overall.  Setting deadlines that are nearly impossible and not getting the proper training.  She went to HR but not much was done besides saying they would talk to her boss.  At this point my wife was scared as to how she would react to the fact that she went to HR.  Weeks later my wife and her boss sat down and talked over the issues.  My wife was tired of her negative remarks and her boss said she was sorry.  2 months after they had talked she was fired for not listening to instructions.  Apparently her boss was asking for a students information and because my wife didn’t give her that information in a timely matter, she was fired today.

Answer:
 >she was fired for not listening to instructions.

A pregnant person can be fired for not following policy or instructions just as a non-pregnant person can be.  Obviously you have at least an inkling that there may be something else at play.  If you can establish she was fired because she was pregnant and not for the stated reason then you may have some sort of claim.  That may be fairly difficult to establish.

If your wife has a union she should work with them.  If not she might seek a consultation with an attorney.  Though the fact that the company has asserted a somewhat legitimate reason for her termination complicates the pursuit.


Title: My buddy got sold a house with fake plumbing in the laundry room, any legal recourse?

Question:
Basically the title. Before he bought the house he hired an inspector to come look at the house, and he missed it, he's looking into a lawsuit right now but I was wondering if there are some resources he can look into on his own?
Topic:
Real Estate law

Answer: I have to ask, what on Earth do you mean by fake plumbing?


Title: GF Brother smashes my windshield to bits.. What should I do?

Question:
Hello all,

Last night my gf's brother (lets callem X) started a fist fight with me, and when he ran off I thought the fight was over however my GF said hes going inside to get a knife on you. Me being not totally stupid ran off across the dark street into a field, not feeling like getting my throat slit. When I ran off, GF called the police and X was smashing my windshield in with a hammer (presumabley because he couldnt find me with a knife). He broke 2 phones a lamp and my windshield in this process... Anyway about 5 minutes go by and I saw cop headlights. Knowing it wasnt my time to die, I came back to the house, me and the officer seing the smashed windshield at the same time. X goes off to jail for the night and is charged(?) with some sort of Class A Misdemeanor. He is still yet to see a judge. Im wondering if anything can be done about the windshield. Its literally not driveable at all, theres a huge hole and its all shattered. This POS doesnt work and probably wont find a job, just going back to jail. I have liability auto insurance that has "personal property damage" listed but Im unsure if it even matters with Vandalism. I got the police report number and filed an insurance claim anyway. How should I continue forward?

Answer:
 You can check with your insurance to see if they'll pay.  If they won't, you can talk to the prosecutor or police to see if they can make him pay restitution as part of his sentence or plea bargain.

Short of that, you'll have to sue him.


Title: (New York State). I was lied to in Rite-Aid regarding a Visa prepaid card I purchased.

Question:
On July 21, 2018 my mother asked me to go to the store Rite-Aid to buy her a Facebook game card.  The store had ran out of stock, but they had lots of gift card, I saw a One Vanilla prepaid visa card that could be loaded with $20 to $200, I told my mom that I could get her that card that being a VISA card it should work.

I took the card and went to the casher.  I told the cashier to fund this card for $25 and she told me it was $31.xx  I asked her why was I being charged $31 to add $25.  At that point instead of telling me that the card had an activation fee of $6,95  She told me a lie that the reason why I would be paying close to $7 is because the card is reloadable.  Then I asked the cashier how would I reload this card?  She said that I must brind this card to the store to have it reloaded with a balance.  I asked her if there is any reload fees, she said "No, that all reloads are free".

Given the nature that the cashier had told me the One Vanilla Visa card was actually reloadable and zero reload fees, I went ahead and did the purchase.

Today I come to the realization that the One Vanilla visa card can only be loaded ONCE, that this is a non-reloadable card.

I can see right now that the cashier deceived me on purposes, she told me this because she knew that had she told me that this card was "Non-Reloadable" that I would have not purchased it.

What legal recourse do I have?

I am thinking of comming back to the store with this Prepaid visa, and telling them that I would like to reload it.  If they tell me its not possible, then I can show them an audio recording of the cashier telling me its possible (if need me) (I have an audio recording since I had my mom on the phone and have an app that records all the calls, the cashier was picked up by the recording).  I can ask for a Manager and explain to them the situation. To remedy this, all what I would want is the $7 activation fee that I paid refunded to me.  If the do not cooperate I would like to know if I can escalate this legal wise since I feel I was deceived, that I was lied.

I will be posting a transcript of the audio recording later on, possibly under a separate post to not make this OP too long.

Answer:
 The cashier likely didn't know what they were talking about as Rite-aid sells a lot of prepaid cards.

Ask to speak to a manager and explain the situation, they might be open to a refund just to get you out of their hair. To take legal action over $7 would be pointless and petty.

Fees are usually listed on the cards packaging. Answer #2: The cashier made a mistake. If it bothers you that much you can take your business elsewhere. Or sue them for $7. Answer #3: Why would the cashier at a rite aid give a shit if you bought a gift card or not? I don't think they were "purposesly" trying to decieve you out of seven dollars that they, and likely Rite Aid, won't even see a dime of. Sounds like a simple misunderstanding to me Answer #4: That cashier 100% had no idea about the rules of the card and just wanted you to go away. You should have read the info on the card or googled it.

Do you live in a state that is one party consent for recording? If not, your recordings are likely to give you legal trouble than this $7 is going to give them.

But you'll spend more money filing in small claims than it's worth. Hell, how much is your time worth? It'll probably cost you more in time/gas than $7. Take this as a lesson to DYODD if you have questions.


Title: Father's Mistress threatening to sue for "defamation of character" in Louisiana

Question: Found out my father was having an affair several days ago so I did the mature thing in a fit of rage and sent his side fling 3 very mean emails. Every email was privately sent to this woman only and never included any threats.  Just name calling. Does this birch have a case at all? What is the worst that will come of this? I can't afford court costs help!

Answer:
 Speaking only to the person in question isn't defamation.

Your anger is misplaced, however -- your upset over this is entirely your father's fault.  He is the one who is responsible for the feelings and reactions of his family.Answer #2: Well sending an email to her isn’t defamation of character. It’d only be defamation if you were sending things to other people about her that were untrue with malicious intent.  Nothing will happen here.


Title: What do I do? (19F)

Question:
I was seeing a guy (20M) casually for about a month until he turned physically violent towards me. I reported him to the school and they placed us on a reciprocal “no contact order,” basically a school version of a restraining order, while the district investigates my claims for domestic violence.

I ended up reaching out over a personal emergency to which he blackmailed me saying if I wanted his help, I had to call up the dean and tell her I lied. His mother got onto the phone and started to say she will testify against me to the school and make sure to get an attorney and try me for defamation of character in court. Make sure I lose a lot of money.

Here is what I don’t get: if the investigation goes in his favor, meaning they rule he is innocent, absolutely nothing goes on either of our records, therefore I don’t think they even have the grounds to make a defamation case? If it goes in my favor, the highest form of punishment for him is expulsion (lowest punishment being conduct probation or suspension, both of which don’t stay on his record either), and he is proven guilty, would the court even take it?

I am worried in attempts to discredit my story, I will be asked why I didn’t immediately leave his house that day and/or call for help AND why I bothered to reach out to him if I was truly scared of him. So far it looks as if he is going to lose, he sounded terrified and unconfident over the phone, and I have more witnesses/proof.

On top of all this, he disclosed to me he has untreated Bipolar disorder and he was manic when he was screaming at the top of his lungs gaslighting me. I am worried he is going to kill himself because he has shown all the signs, refuses to get help, never sees the error of his ways, and his mother babies him. What if him getting expelled is the thing that throws him over the edge? Will I be to blame? I legally cannot speak to him (we both reported the no contact order was broken so it cancelled out and we were given a warning however if it happens again that will not be the case) but I don’t want him to die…what do I do?
Topic:
Personal Injury

Answer:
 You really need to not speak to him. I’m unsure why you’d reach out to him in a personal emergency but won’t probe. You’re not his mother so don’t even worry about him and if you really are then speak to someone in your school or call the police if you believe someone is in danger. It is his responsibility to get help for his mental health issues.

People investigating domestic abuse know that often abuse victims don’t speak out instantly, don’t leave the house immediately or even understand they’re being abused. If you have concerns speak to someone in your school.

Stay away from him.

Edit: you are not responsible for his actions or life.