Title: Left my phone at a bar. I was contacted by the bar later when they found it. They're refusing to mail it to me.

Question: I was at a bar in Baltimore a couple weeks ago and ended up leaving my phone there. Turned on "Lost mode" so a message is displayed with my name and phone number. They ended up contacting me saying they have it. I described the phone to them perfectly. I live like 2 hours away and want them to mail it to me so I don't have to make a 4 hour trek to pick it up. Can they refuse to mail my phone to me even tho I identified it and also enabled find my iPhone with my own phone number?

Answer: Yes, they can refuse to mail it to you. They don't have any legal obligation to spend time and money mailing the phone back to you.Answer #2: They don't want to risk mailing it because you can come back and say you never received it. Or it got damaged in shipping. Or whatever.


Title: Can I legally waive parental liability pre-pregnancy?

Question:
I currently do not want children and probably won't ever want them. My partner claims she doesn't want them right now but will probably want them a later in life. We're sexually active and use protection but I got to thinking, what if something goes wrong? Can I legally sign a document now (with her consent) freeing me from any and all obligations should an accident happen and she change her mind?

Mind you, she isn't pregnant but my understanding is that if a mistake happened, I'm helpless and have no say in whether she keeps the child.

Answer:
 No. If you don't want kids get a vasectomy. Answer #2: >Can I legally sign a document now (with her consent) freeing me from any and all obligations should an accident happen and she change her mind?

Nope.  Absolutely no.Answer #3: Absolutely not.Answer #4: No. If you create a child even when you didn't want to, you're responsible because you not wanting it doesnt change the fact that it's your child. Answer #5: That’s kind of the thing about having sex.... sometimes it results in children, and regardless of a pregnancy being intentional or not, you’re responsible for your potential children. Just because you don’t want them doesn’t mean you’re not responsible.

And like everyone else is saying— if you don’t trust this girl to be honest with you about something as serious as a pregnancy, you probably shouldn’t be having sex with her.

With that said, being a child with a father who’s completely absent from their life is guaranteed to fuck them up, even if it’s just a little bit. (Source: I’ve met my dad once in 29 years and have slight abandonment issues)

But more importantly, if you don’t want children, you need to eliminate the risk of potentially having children. Vasectomies, condoms, and celibacy seem to be your best bets here. You’re the only one that can 100% ensure you don’t have children.


Title: Was in a car accident (Georgia). Other driver turned left across the double yellow line and across 4 lanes of traffic hitting me. Car is totaled. Hand is broken. Her car has $8000 of damage. And the cop gave us both failure to yield citations. What steps should I take to fight this?

Answer:
 You can fight the ticket on its merit. It is often best to hire a traffic attorney, but not entirely  necessary.

Police do not determine civil fault in an accident. Insurers usually negotiate or accept fault based on what their client tells them.  If they do not agree, or one party refuses to communicate, a court ultimately decides.

Contact your insurance and tell them how the accident happened. Assuming you have full coverage, they will pay the value of your car minus your deductible and go after the other driver. This is exactly what you pay them to do. If the other driver tries to sue you, they will provide the attorney to defend you as well.


Title: I sent a broken watch to the maker (via a dealership) to have an assessment of what's wrong. The watchmaker went ahead and made the 850 CHF repair when I explicitly told the dealership I wasn't interested in a reparation only an assessment. What is my position? (Switzerland)

Question:
I am currently in Switzerland and about four weeks ago I went to a local goldsmith/watch dealership with a 3.5 year old Maurice Lacroix watch that had stopped working. I asked if they could send it to the maker (they were an official dealership) to make an assessment of the repair cost. I was informed it would cost 50 CHF for the assessment and a repair would be approximately 600-1000 CHF (crazy right?). I turned over the watch to the dealership.

After two weeks they called me up saying it would cost 815 CHF for the repair. I found this ~~a bit~~ way too much, considering the fact that the watch barely had been used and that the warranty period had just passed. Also, I am leaving the country for good in a few days, and I did not want to risk a delayed reparation and not bringing the clock with me  home in person. I told the sales clerk to have the watch returned without the repair, and I would pay the 50 CHF.

Today, the sales clerk greats me by phone saying that I was "lucky". The maker had done the repair.., I wasn´t pleased, because I can not cough up 815 CHF, and told her that I explicity asked for the watch returned unrepaired.. She said they would give me discount and that I would only have to pay 550 CHF. "I asked you to have the watch returned to me without the repair, 550 CHF is a lot more than  the 50 CHF I agreed upon". Of which she answered it wasn't their fault. -Well it certainly is not mine, either..

I am leaving Switzerland on friday, and she said she would call me back, but I will not wait for that. I am going to head over there in person tomorrow, so now I am wondering. What is my legal position? Do I have every right to claim the watch back for 50 CHF, or can they actually ask me to pay a certain amount to cover expenses regarding the repair? Any thoughts?

On beforehand thanks!

EDIT: Wohoo, I didn't have to pay the cost at all, only the 50 CHF for the assessment.

Answer:
 Was there anything signed at any point in all of this?  Go over the sales clerk and speak to the manager to see what can be done since this wasn't originally requested to happen.Answer #2: yea figure it out with the paperwork. it might take more than a few days to sort this out though.

IANAL, but worst comes to worst, pay with credit card, present the evidence you may have, and do a chargeback.

most important thing is to get your watch back and leave on time.


Title: Working in Minneosta

Question:
I work at 5 Guys Burgers and Fries. I worked on May 25th, which is memorial day. I did not receive overtime pay/holiday pay for this day. Is this legal for them to do. I thought most businesses were required to pay overtime pay for work on federal holidays.
Thanks in advance.

Answer:
 Not required

[Link]( http://www.dli.mn.gov/LS/FaqWages.asp)


Title: Judge denies protective order, but ex-boyfriend won't leave her alone and keeps threatening her?

Question:
We are from Fort Worth, TX.
My friend, who is 23, unfortunately had a child with a 30 year old man child 2 years ago. Since the birth she broke up with him because he was very toxic and abusive. Such as breaking plates on her head, breaking doors, punching holes in the wall, etc.

However, since they have a child they had to sort out 'visitation'. They never went to court and decided on a plan themselves. He started to threaten her; break in her house, strangle her while she was sleeping, put water in her gas tank, so she applied for a protective order. Along with pictures of the bruises and abrasions she has suffered.

She was denied and told they need to work through counseling. He never showed up for counseling. Instead, he took their son to a discrete location and we had no idea where he was for 6 months until cops showed up at her door with her son saying her ex had been arrested for causing severe bodily injury at a bar.

He was in jail for 5 months and got out on a bargain and needed to continue to go to a 'rehab' for his alcoholism and mental disorders.

Since this, the court ordered standard visitation until their final hearing.

He has broken into her apartment and tried to get into her laptop(to see if she was talking to other men according to his text messages; "I see you've locked your email up tight since you've been seeing other men, you (expletive)". He went into her place of employment numerous times yelling and saying things about her that she had to quit because she feared for her life and him knowing where she worked. Her neighbors have reported when he sits outside her apartment waiting for her to get home, so she stays with me with her son.

But the most exhausting thing is the messages. He continuously texts her throughout the day on multiple different numbers, and emails. Some are threatening, some are horrible, some are "Don't you remember that time when we would cuddle and talk about baby names". Some of the threatening ones include him texting her where she is so she knows she is being watched or followed, and if she doesn't reply or is seen with another guy she will never see her son ever again and implies that he will hurt her(he knows to not use direct terminology now). Some are "Are you just mad at me because our son loves me more, or is it because your dad shoved his (expletive)...and thats why you hate men."

She doesn't reply to these text messages. Just follows standard visitation, which he picks up from the babysitter. So only text messages like "It's Fathers Day Weekend, you get him." etc.

She has applied for her 3rd protective order now. She has 60 pages of text messages, emails, neighbors reports of break ins, police reports, etc. But the 1st and 2nd time the judge has told her that she has a kid with him and needs to sort it out because he will always be a part of that childs life. And if she fears for her life, she just needs to stay away from him. As if she is capable to just have a force field around her in the middle of the night.
She has a lawyer, but she just keeps saying they have to keep building the case.

I'm fearful for her life, she spends time at my house more than hers now because he is constantly stalking her. What do we do?

I'm guessing there isn't much, but I'm just so scared for her. The things he says, he owns guns, she is scared of even being out by herself now.

Answer: If she has a lawyer, she's already getting much better advice than you can get for free on Reddit. Sorry, dude.


Title: Hired under a pretense of scope and also to surreptitiously replace another member of an IT team, railroaded for four days and then contract terminated because I "rubbed people the wrong way"

Question:
Quick version:  I have been a network Technician/Firewall/Engineer for nearly 20 years.  I accepted an offer to work in what I was told was  NOC environment doing primarily remote work.  The scope of work end up being mostly on site, local travel and the team I was working with, from day 1 seemed to have no interest in training me on their network at all.  I believe I was deliberately railroaded and that the guy I was hired to replace was wise and conspired with the rest of the team to blackball me.

I was hired under a contract, after doing an interview where supposedly the hiring manager(Project manager, doesn't work with 'the team') was "excited" about my resume and was brought in to replace a guy that they suspect is on his way out anyway(doing interviews).

1st Day:  I come in and immediately given a laundry list of things I shouldn't do, including wearing hats and putting my feet up on things.  I was told to 'not to ask too many questions' and one guy on the team even said that too many questions was annoying.  Now, I have been a contractor and a direct hire quite a few times now and NEVER in my entire IT career(or even when I was in food service) was I made to feel like asking questions was a bad thing or annoying to the people supposedly training me ESPECIALLY MY FIRST FREAKIN' DAY!.

Which bring me to my next point...training.  Nearly every day I was there I was brushed off or downright refused training, being told "you won't be working on that for awhile".  Fine, fair enough, Rome wasn't built in a day....except that I wasn't given anything else in the meantime.  I was handed a config to study my first day and then the two team members sodded off to a location and left me sitting there for the rest of the 6 hours that day.  No direction, No devices, No access.  When I tried to inquire about things I was either told "we are just really busy right now" or " I can't deal with that right this moment".

So the second day I got to go out to a site with a team member and again was told all the things I shouldn't do and basically stood by while he was on the phone with tech support.  I'm not even going to add that I seemed to be worlds ahead of these guys in knowledge and experience and just having done some training online, with devices I have never used before, I could have helped these guys because they were calling tech support for some pretty basic stuff.  When the team lead showed up and got on the line with tech support, I tried to 'observe' and was to to 'back off'.  Which again...not everybody likes somebody hovering while they are trying to work, I get it.

So the next day first thing in the morning I am immediately given the test laptop to go out to sites and "report back your findings" on three trouble tickets.  Thats it.  No access, no accounts, no email even yet and they want me to go trouble shoot.  Well being the pro that I try to be I treated it like a service call in my business and worked from the ground up and discovered as I went.  This isn't my first rodeo.  One of my discoveries while I was out and about was that these guys are going about their jobs all wrong...they have all these tools and software at their disposal and could have easily troubleshot those tickets remotely and yet they insist on going out to every site for every ticket.

Now I get wanting to get out of the office, but they basically behaved like desk side tech support when they were actually Network Engineers with access to a NOC and remote monitoring, administration, packet captures, metrics, maps, configuration tools etc.

Well I told the team lead my concerns and how they could save themselves a boatload of work with the tools they have and he said "You won't be making any changes, only I make changes around here"  I told him I was trying to make their jobs easier and was told to not worry about it.

Well my last day, I was put in a cube on the other side of the building, by myself and nobody said a word to me for the rest of the day.  I was given guest access to one of the monitoring tools and told to 'report anything interesting' - not vague at all given this system generates 200 messages a minute.  So I spotted some downed nodes and asked about them and was given short, terse answers.  When I got home that day I received a call from my contracting company and was told my contract had been revoked because, as in the title, "I rubbed people the wrong way" and that I was "asking about too many things, including security procedures and stuff"  Well duh shit, I was trying to LEARN and make sure I wasn't going to do anything that wasn't allowed.  I come from mostly military and government contracts, I find that asking about these things is generally a good thing to avoid causing trouble or inadvertently getting myself fired.

I believe I was deliberately railroaded by a team that was wise to me being brought in under the pretense that I would eventually replace the team lead at that site.

Answer: It sounds like a shitty team you now don't have to deal with. I didn't really see a question...


Title: [Texas] CPS / Refusal to Assume Parental Responsibility

Question:
Who we are: I have a long time girlfriend, we live together, but are not married. She has a 10 year old from a previous marriage, who lives with us.

Situation: My girlfriend has a "niece" who isn't blood related, but the families have known each other since "niece's" birth. She used to stay at out house on three day weekends, spend the summer here, go on vacation, etc. She lives with her grandma. Her mom is no involved in her life, and her father lives in a different country, and basically chose to give his child to his mom and start a new life in other country. He maintains custody of his daughter, but gave POA to his mother. We don't talk to her father.

Niece is now a teenager and doing teenager things. She also has a psych history, so its a little worse. Grandma asks us to take her because she cant handle her. We agree to take her for a couple of months until school ends. School writes up a POA giving my girlfriend educational decision rights. She lives with us for a couple months, but does all the wrong things. Steals, drugs, etc. Eventually she attempts suicide at our house and is taken to a psych facility post ED visit. We tell school about the situation and that she wont be returning, and they revoke POA.

We tell her grandma that she needs to go back home with her when she is discharged because we are concerned about our 10 year old. Grandma calls the psych facility and tells them she isnt picking her up. DFPS (CPS) visits grandma and us separately. CPS tells us that we had her last and are responsible for taking her back. If we don't, CPS will determine we abandoned her and "determine if were fit to raise a 10 year old" (referring to our son). We politely told her we wanted to seek council before continuing and she left.

Spoke to two attorneys and both said similar things. We don't have custody over the teenager, so cps would have to peruse to father if they took conservatorship of the teenager. They both even laughed at the idea of CPS coming after us.

Fast forward a couple weeks. My girlfriend gets a letter stating CPS had reason to believe that did in fact Refuse to Assume Parental Responsibility for the teen. She is given X amount of days to request an administrative review if she wishes to. She mails back the request. She gets another later stating her administrative review will have to wait until a civil case is resolved involving the teens father. She must file the paperwork again within 45 days of the case ending. She not party to the case.

(Im not totally unfamiliar with DFPS working because of a previous job I had, but still have some questions)

1. Should we just continue to request an administrative review ever X amount of days since we don't have details about the civil case relating to teens father?
2. We planned to foster/adopt in the future. Will this likely bar us from doing that?

Also, I knew this was a bad idea from the beginning, and should have trusted my gut.

Answer:
 Retain an attorney. CPS wants to put the kid in the least restrictive placement, and probably realizes that a drug using teen who steals shit is not going to go over well with foster parents (and may have already been told by a foster parent that they don't want her).

>We planned to foster/adopt in the future. Will this likely bar us from doing that?

Most states have third party foster care/adoption organizations that you can go through if necessary.


Title: Coworker seems incapable of caring for herself. Is there anything I can do?

Question: [deleted]

Answer:
 First line would be to have a conversation with her about all of this and see if she has help and if she thinks she needs help.

If she insists she takes care of herself but cannot, call up [Adult Protective Service Association of Ontario](http://apsao.org/) and ask their advice?
Answer #2: This might be a leap, and is certainly not legal advice, but this sounds a lot like cases of benzodiazepine abuse/high use that I've seen. It's not uncommon for people who are losing a loved one to be prescribed these for the first time, and even those taking doctor-prescribed benzos as written (if they're written too high, as they tend to be for older people) tend to fall down a lot and not remember things. Likewise with painkillers. Both at the same time? Yikes.

I'd set time aside with her to talk about it privately. It might be useful to say that this can happen even when taking scripts as one should, and that work can't fire you for taking time to go treat the dependency. Honestly sounds like she could use a mental health vacation anyway.


Title: Arizona: I got 212 Robocalls in 2.5 hours

Question:
At about 8 last night my phone rang, and it was one of those scams saying "You've won a free cruise!" I knew it was fake and hung up. It was from a New York number and my phone rang non-stop for 2 hours, not counting 1 hour that my phone was dead. At the end of it all, I finally had the number blocked and obviously it stopped, and had 212 calls from them. It finally stopped at about 1030 and I was pretty livid at that time. Is there any way I can seek compensation for all of the harassment? 212 calls in 2 hours is a bit excessive. It was the same number every single time.

Thank you!

Answer:
 Legal advice: complain to the FTC and FCC; this is illegal. Are you on the federal Do Not Call Registry? Contact a consumer attorney, because the telemarketer could be liable to you for $500 per call.

Practical advice: disconnect your phone at the 10 minute mark or so next time.Answer #2: Find yourself an attorney with experience bringing Telephone Consumer Protection Act cases.  You may be eligible for damages on the order of $500 to $1500 per phone call.Answer #3: So some of these calls (like "Rachel from Cardholder Services" and "Microsoft Tech Support") are already full on criminals, trying to steal your money or credit card numbers. They work from behind spoofed numbers, and aren't likely to be particularly bothered (or even caught) if you report them.

In your case, though, it sounds like a glitchy call computer, and might be worth pursuing, since they all came from the same number.


Title: Can I sue my beekeeper neighbor?

Question:
Every day i see my neighbor's bees flying around my garden stealing the pollen or nectar from my flowers. Then the bees go back to my neighbor and creates honey. My neighbor then harvests the honey and sells it at the farmers market for profit. I have never recieved so much as a jar of honey as compensation and everyday my neighbors bees trespass and steal my flowers. I was stung once when I was a child, so i know how dangerous bees can be.

The way i see it, this is equivalent to a persons dog coming into my yard to steal balls or tools then gives it back to his owner who then sells it for profit.

Do i have legal ground to sue? What type of things should I begin documenting in order to prepare for a legal battle? What would be a fair settlement amount if my neighbor doesnt want to take this to court? Thanks for the help.

Answer:
 I didn't know KenM was on here too. Answer #2: Any lawyer worth their stripes would tell you to buzz off.Answer #3: NAL or an apiarist. A beellion seems fair to me.Answer #4: >I was stung once as a child so I know how dangerous bees can be

I was stung over 200 times in the span of several minutes as a child, I also took basic science classes in school as a child and know how crucially important bees are to the ongoing health of our environment, particularly as their populations continue to collapse.

Unless they're swarming your back yard by the hundreds you have no conceivable grievance here.


Title: [TX] Any expectation of privacy when using ride sharing apps?

Question:
An Assistant DA in Dallas was just fired after audio of her berating and demeaning an uber or lyft driver was shared online. He started recording once she became belligerent mid-ride.

Are drivers in TX allowed to record audio without notice or authorization?

If so, are there any limits on disseminating the footage afterwards?

(Search Jody Warner Dallas for more details, if interested)

Answer: TX is a one party consent state, expectation of privacy won't even factor in if the one recording the conversation is the one being addressed. Even if it was just a conversation between the passengers you'd have a hard time arguing that the driver shouldn't be considered privy to the conversation.


Title: Fighting a divorce 'settlement' based on BS prenup

Question:
My mother was a naive person.  She married a NJ doctor, gave birth to a daughter of his, and didn't live extravagantly at all.  Doctor divorces her when daughter is ~ 14, after mother gave up her career.

Literally the morning of the wedding, doctor sticks an absurd prenup in front of my mother basically saying she gets jack shit in the event of...pretty much anything.  And many years later, that's exactly what she got.  She was born in the 50s, doesn't have an advanced degree, and quit her career for this man.  She can't just 'start over'.

I realize her naive character really fucked her over, but prenups aren't written in stone and can be fought, right?  It doesn't seem just that a woman who gave up her career, didn't consume any of this man's assets and gave birth to this man's daughter could be left with...basically nothing.  She's going to drop dead soon if we don't take some legal recourse.  Any advice for this rather unique, but unfortunate situation?  Surely there's gotta be an attorney that has the gonads to revisit this?  Are huge up-front retainers the only way to secure such service?

Not interested in "getting half", or anything remotely like that.  Just something that will prevent her from basically withering away into (further) poverty.

Answer:
 Has she actually accepted a settlement yet?

If not, IMO, she should challenge the prenup, starting with the fact that she had no representation and was presented it on the morning of the wedding.

She needs to consult with some attorneys; hopefully she can find one who won't require a huge initial retainer.

A prenup cannot apply to child support, no matter what else happens.


Title: Can my gym legally make me come in to cancel my membership?

Question:
So I need to cancel my membership. I called to cancel and they said I need to come in to cancel it in person. Whatever, it's a little out of my way but I went in to cancel. When I got in they told me that I had to come in to cancel only while a manager was present (they failed to tell me this over the phone the first time). I wrote a note saying I stopped by to cancel my membership. Note that I did this just before the month rolled over. Could they still try to charge me for another month even though I came in to cancel? It's not my fault that the manager wasn't there so they couldn't cancel it.

Boston, Massachusetts

Answer: You'll show up when a manager is there and he'll tell you he isn't the cancellation manager.


Title: Dry cleaners put 3 holes in my $800 suit and insists it wasn’t them and refuses to pay me for their mistake

Question:
I live in Columbus, OH. I purchased an $800 suit when I was very early 20’s with barley enough savings to cover the suit. It was an investment for work that I got for a new job. I’ve now owned the suit for the past 6 years and kept it in immaculate condition. And who wouldn’t take care of a suit that you blew your entire savings on? I can’t afford to just go out buying $800 suits every time a seam busts. Well, after 6 great years of this suit being in near perfect condition, I decide to finally dry clean it. I’ve only had it pressed up to this point. Specifically because I’ve heard stories from unlucky people running into someone like I have this week... I drop it off and get it back. I leave it hang in their packaging for a couple days before taking it out to put it in my nicer travel bag. That’s when I notice it. Right on the pants near the knees. 1. 2. THREE dime sized holes. Not tears, rips, cuts, burns. But holes. Not even sure what they would have done to cause the holes? I have pictures of them, but sub rules say no pictures. Well, i call and complain and he says he wants to look at it because he doesn’t think it was them. I come in and he looks at it and insists that it wasn’t them, insists to show me their entire process for dry cleaning, then insists that it just couldn’t have been them. So of course, throw out my great care for 6 years. Yes it was me, I’m the one that made 3 holes appear over night after not wearing the suit for 3 weeks and after dropping it off to them one day. Well, what can I do? I’ve considered small claims court, but I don’t even know how to go about this. I can’t afford a replacement suit, and I likely can’t afford court. And I’m unsure if I would even win, knowing absolutely nothing about court. Again I live in Ohio, and yes I know without a shadow of a doubt that I didn’t create the holes. Just wondering if it’s possible to prove otherwise. I need this suit for my next job in a couple weeks and I can’t afford to replace it :(

TL;DR- cleaners put holes in my $800 suit. What do I do?

Answer: Check the signs in the store and/or your claim ticket. There’s usually a non fault clause where they will not he held responsible for any damage. If so, you might just be out of luck. You can always go to small claims if you still think you can prove your claim.


Title: Do HOAs / Condominium Associations have a legal obligation to enforce their own rules?

Question:
I rent a condo in Ann Arbor, Michigan. My condo is part of a Condominium Association that has bylaws for its residents. One such bylaw is dogs are prohibited. About a year ago, a new resident moved in with a dog. The dog is aggressive, loud, and a nuisance to residents. It tried to bite my family and I a couple of times and it barks all the time.

I have complained several times over the past year to my landlady and the Condominium Association via the Better Business Burearu about the dog. My complaints have been ignored and the dog remains. One reason I moved to this community is they prohibit dogs, so this is pretty irritating.

Do HOAs / Condominium Associations have to enforce their own written rules? If so, what more can I do?

Answer:
 _Sometimes_.

A member can sometimes challenge the way a rule has been enforced against them by showing that the rule has not been evenly enforced against others. If the HOA allows some owners to have pets, without a good reason backed up by the HOA rules and CC&Rs, then it may find itself unable to ban other owners from having pets, or may find itself having to enforce the ban on all pets in order to uphold fines against a particular problem owner.

More generally, the HOA has a fiduciary duty to the member owners, and allowing a situation, covered by the HOA rules and within the HOA's realm of responsibility, to persist that causes injury or damage to the owners or their property may be grounds for legal action against the HOA. Suing one's own HOA is always a dicey proposition, and often it's better to vote out and replace a disinterested board than to sue the HOA, but it's at least possible.

However, you're a tenant. Your entire relationship with the HOA is set out by whatever you signed as a condition of your tenancy. If all you signed is an agreement to pay any HOA fines you cause the owner to incur, then that's the end of it: they don't owe you the time of day, otherwise. If you're unhappy with _your landlord's_ handling of the situation, negotiate an end to your lease (or give notice, if your lease ends soon or you're month to month) and move.


Title: [FL/MI][Serious] Was approached by a great friend of 15+ years and her wife about becoming a father

Question:
Long story short, we have remained very close friends since college and now they would like a family. Her partner had to have a hysterectomy in her late 20's for medical reasons and they are not interested in IVF/AI due to increased risk to the fetus, chance for multiples, and unknown father. They would like to conceive naturally - and both are completely fine with the mechanics/dynamics. Both are in their mid 30's, have complete financial resources to support a family (even on one income), and would make EXCELLENT parents.

Beyond the initial shock, they said their conditions were:

* Genetic testing (ancestry and medical)
* HIV/STD testing (not worried about anything)
* No parental rights (medical decision making, custody, etc...)
* Would be allowed to have visitation in teenage years if child requested to meet me
* Would receive regular updates/pictures
* Would not be responsible for any child support, or any other costs associated with having the child or the pregnancy. They made this absolutely clear and volunteered to sign any contract or paper absolving me of financial responsibility. I also have known them for so long that I have no suspicions of ulterior motives.

My question is, assuming we are all okay with every part of this arrangement is there any legal mechanism under which I can be absolved of financial responsibility for a child? I know that in many states if conceived through IVF/AI men cannot be held responsible, but what about the old-fashioned way? We're split between Michigan and Florida - so if they decide to move could this agreement still be enforceable in another state?

Answer:
 Do not do this the "old fashion" way. You're just asking to be on the hook for child support for 18 years. If you are going to go ahead, then go through a clinic.Answer #2: >My question is, assuming we are all okay with every part of this arrangement is there any legal mechanism under which I can be absolved of financial responsibility for a child?

The only way that you can be absolved of financial responsibility for the child is if you go through a licensed fertility clinic.  If she gets impregnated by you outside of a licensed fertility clinic then you will be financial responsibility for the child and that cannot be waived.Answer #3: This doesn't work. Child support is a right of the child, not the other parent. You cannot waive rights you don't have. Answer #4: If you have a child with her then you have a child and all the rights and responsibilities that come with that. They could come after you for support (and so could the state in some situations) no matter what agreement you make.


Title: My petty neighbors repaired their fence with screws that are waaay too long and sticking out into my yard - Tulsa, OK

Question:
I had a conflict two years ago with my neighbor's grandson, who is openly a crackhead, where he came into my yard, put hands on me, and threatened my life because I asked them not to block my driveway with their truck and to pick up the piles of dirt they left in my yard. The police decided not to intervene because I live in a rough neighborhood.

My neighbors are in their 90's and rely on their grandson for home maintenance.

He continues to harass me (kicking yard signs, parking *riiiight next* to my driveway, etc.), but I ignore it because none of that really bothers me.

Well, now they've repaired their fence with screws that jut at least 1 1/2 inches into my yard. I discovered them when I snagged my clothes and my boy scratched himself while playing. I'm hesitant to cut the screws myself because these are the kind of people who will cry property damage, and they're refusing to answer the door.

What are my options?

Answer:
 Jesus Christ just cut them off with a dremel and be done with it.  It’s on your side, how would they even know you did it?Answer #2: Contact code enforcement for the city.

You may be able to simply sheer them off, then dab on some caulk to prevent further issues.Answer #3: Go to harbor freight and grab a 1 dollar metal file and file them down. This honestly doesn't look malicious at all. Your neighbor might be crazy but he probably just grabbed some cheap screws to fix the fence.Answer #4: Hang something on them so you or family members don't brush them. Something fun that you will want to look at. Then, ignore it. They want you to react and stress about this. Don't. Decide it's no big deal and go on about your life. That's how you deny these bullies the satisfaction they crave. Escalation on your part with these kinds of neighbors will only cause you misery and could be dangerous. Hell is only one bad neighbor away.Answer #5: Just take a hammer and bend them down and into the wood.Answer #6: You could also get nuts to cover them or just put a big drop of caulking or silicone over them if you are concerned they will cry foul for cutting them.Answer #7: This is more of a practical answer than a legal one, but unless I'm mistaken, your pictures indicate that less than $5 of screw protectors would solve your problem. You can order them online.


Title: Rent a car, it gets stolen, told you're liable. Then things get interesting...

Question:
What is the law in NJ pertaining to this story:

https://twitter.com/tarikhcampbell/status/1428707006412640271

Basically, guy rents car, car gets stolen, guy calls police who tell him to call the rental company and they then tell him to get a police report, he turns in keys the next morning and is told he'll be liable for the theft.

Suddenly, in a light bulb moment, he tracks his EZPass that he brought along in the car and discovered it went to the airport...

Answer:
 I don't see that there's necessarily any crimes here.  It's relatively common for the left hand to not know what the right is doing, especially where you're talking about a corporate parent company and a local franchisee.  It distinctly possible that some contractor got told to go pick this car up with no details, and then it never got recorded properly so that the desk people or phone support people could see it.  That's a stupid-ass mistake, but not a crime.

If this guy is correct and all of this is deliberate, then it's likely a form of fraud.  1) They contracted to provide this guy with a car for a set period, and they didn't.  2) They tried to charge him fees he wasn't liable for.

It's certainly not theft, because they own the car and he doesn't.


Title: Has anyone ever sued their housemates/roommates for emotional distress?

Question: In a very difficult and outrageous housing situation where my housemates are constantly bullying me and trying to get me to leave even though they’re not allowed to do that based on our lease. Please let me know if you’ve been in a similar situation and have tried or gone through with a case like this. Any advice is appreciated!

Answer: Being an asshole is not illegal. Unless you have something both more severe (as in, it affects your health) and more specific you don't have a case.


Title: My soon to be Ex-Wife is Harassing me personally and trying to harass my workplace from out of state.

Question: Hello, I have a dilemma. I am in the process of getting a divorce and have moved out of state. My Ex lives in CA and I live in AR. She is getting upset that I'm not sending child support (It is going in a savings account for when the divorce is finalized). So she has started to blow up mine and my family members phone and threatening to call my workplace and get me fired. My question is, What is the best course of action. Is there any way I can use this is our case. I currently don't have a lawyer as we have agreed to keep things civil and to be honest can't really afford one. Thank you in advance for your help and advice.

Answer:
 Did she agree to wait for the divorce to be finalized before child support would be paid? If not, pay the child support. You are going to be required to pay no matter what if you're not the parent with primary custody.

Hopefully you know that your children will suffer the most if you refuse to pay child support now. Answer #2: How does she think you're going to continue to send child support if she gets you fired from your job where you make the money you will be sending?


Title: [WI] Car broke down, jury duty tommorrow. Can I ask another juror for a ride?

Question:
My car broke down as I was coming home from dinner. All the shops are closed, so I can't get it fixed.

I showed up today and was put on a jury. As luck has it about 5 of us know each other and are friends on facebook (we all just graduated from HS and had deferred ours till summer) I know the court allows carpooling (the place where it talks about how we get paid it says only the driver in the carpool gets travel rembursement). I drove myself today. Am I allowed to FB message one of them to ask for a ride?

Its about a hour long bike ride to the courthouse, so doable but would much rather not. No taxis (that are reliable) exist.

Answer:
 Yeah, that would probably be acceptable. Just make sure to let the clerk or judge know that you did it. The key is to be aboveboard about it.

Just don't talk about the case.


Title: My dad cant afford child support taken from his SSI, Need help

Question:
My father has half his SSI taken to pay my mother child support.  The kids are over 21 years old.  My father is broke, pennies to his name, while my mother is rich now thanks to an inheritance.  How can we petition to get his payments lowered?  He is elderly and can't even afford food.  This is based in California.  Is it even possible to have his child support lowered?  My mom certainly doesn't need any more money and my dads basic survival depends on it.

Thank you for any help.

Answer:
 SSI is not typically counted as income for child support purposes, nor can it be garnished for child support payments.

 In addition,  children usually qualify for child support payments if under 18, or up to 22 only if they are attending college or a professional school.

These facts seem to conflict with your description and question. Please clarify.


Title: My car got broken into bc police didn’t tow it when they arrested me

Question: Sooo long story short, on Saturday I was arrested bc in a traffic citation my license came up as suspended. My license is restricted due to DUI non adjudication- i can only drive a car with an interlock. I was in that car and explained to them that it shouldn’t be suspended just restricted, i went and paid the dmv and showed them the interlock to get that license 4 months ago. Anyways, they say the DMV shows suspended and there arresting me. Bc I was in a different state, they insisted that I stay in jail until I could go before the judge on Monday. Well I go before the judge and he first says they shouldn’t have held me and lets me go (no bail). When we go to get my car (still on the side of the highway) the window is shattered and a duffel bag containing clothes makeup jewelry etc has been stolen as well as several textbooks for my work for a certification test and a full bottle of my adderall has been stolen. I called and had them come out and filed a report but who is responsible for this? They are trying to act like they did me a favor not towing the vehicle, but the value of the stuff adds up to over 2k. Clueless as to what to do since I was wrongfully held and now have a damaged car and loss of personal property

Answer:
 The people responsible are the people who broke into your car, you're not going to get anywhere trying to get compensation from the police. Submit a claim with your insurance and if the theives are ever found they can be sued.Answer #2: I think it's pretty obvious that the person responsible is the one that broke into your car...Answer #3: They are not responsible. Anyone’s car can get broken into. If they ran it and DMV said suspended, that is the info they have. As long as you have the police report you should be able to get a refill of your meds, and call your car insurance. See if they will cover any of the stuff in your car.

It’s a shitty situation, but they see you have a record and then your license came up suspended through DMV.

And they did do you a favor not towing. Getting a car out of impound is much more time consuming than just getting a ride to your car when you are released. It’s not like if they arrest someone they have to tow their car for them to keep it safe. It would only be if the crime determined you’re losing the vehicle or have to pay fines. If it was for instance a drug trafficking charge they could keep your vehicle in some places. That’s when they would tow it.

Sorry for the shitty luck, but your best bet is to call your insurance.


Title: I fired my lawyer for incompetence and requested a refund. I have a signed letter from him stating that he would provide a partial refund. It's been two months and now he says I won't receive a refund and he is refusing to answer my calls and letters. What do I do?

Question:
I also want to report him for being a terrible lawyer and overcharging me. I feel like I was scammed.

Edit - I'm in Georgia, US

Answer: Both issues are best addressed to the state bar association.


Title: [Ohio] My neighbor shot my cat with a BB gun 7 times when it was in his backyard.

Question: I don't know if I can press charges or what. I let the cat out for 20 minutes then I heard a cat cry type noise when it got shot and ran out and it was dead. Help please I know it was in his yard but that's awful

Answer:
 If he killed your cat, start with calling the police.  Answer #2: Yes, contact the police. Cite 959.02
>959.02 Injuring animals.
>No person shall maliciously, or willfully, and without the consent of the owner, kill or injure a horse, mare, foal, ..., dog, cat, or other domestic animal that is the property of another. This section does not apply to a licensed veterinarian acting in an official capacity.

Is there something going on in Ohio against cats recently? First the ex-gf wanting to get the cat she abandoned 5 years ago, and now this? Answer #3: You don't press charges. The DA does. You file a police report. You can also sue civilly. Answer #4: Sorry about your cat. Call the police. That's illegal in almost any city. Answer #5: I am sorry that this happened, and you may have legal recourse here, but remember it is also your responsibility to keep your pets off other people's property.  Cats can actually do a lot of damage.  As someone who has repeatedly woken up to a stoop covered in cat piss, I can sympathize with the neighbor's anger.


Title: Should I wait for a credit card dispute to settle before filing in small claims? Will it impact?

Question:
In short, I had some landscaping done to my house. I paid 50% up front, and then 50% at completion. It was only until a day or 2 after, that I noticed the work was sub par and not what I paid for. They rejected my 50% refund request, so I filed a credit card dispute.

I now observed that more than 50% of the work wasn't done, and there was some damage to my house.

Should I just quit the credit card dispute and go for small claims? Will a credit card dispute outcome have any bearing or merit to my claims case?

Answer: Did you get a proof of insurance? Go after their general liability for the resulting damage.


Title: [TX] Gave a written two weeks notice and my boss reduced my hourly rate to minimum wage.

Question:
I’ve worked for this small LLC company (<10 employees) since 2013 and gave a written two weeks notice to my boss who is also CEO because I’ve received a MUCH better offer. He’s obviously upset about it, most likely because I’m the lead tech and he reduced my hourly rate from $20/hr to minimum wage which is $7.20/hr. Is this legal and/or do I have any recourse? I feel it’s extremely unfair and I have a family to look after.
Topic:
Employment Law

Answer: So long as the boss made you aware of the reduction in pay, and so long as that reduction in pay was not applied retroactively for hours you already worked under the $20/hour wage and only applies to future hours you work, this is a completely shitty but legal thing to do.Answer #2: Such a significant cut constitutes a constructive dismissal. Basically you gave two weeks notice and they fired you by cutting your wages so drastically. Let them know that as per the Texas workforce commission that you understand that the more then 20% cut in wage is an effective dismissal and that you understand that they have let you go, and that you expect your final payment within 6 calendar days. If they retroactively apply the cut in wage to before when you were informed, file a wage claim with the Texas Workforce commission. Finally, file for unemployment based on their constructive dismissal and try to enjoy the two weeks until your new position starts.Answer #3: Just quit right now. See if you can start your new job early.Answer #4: Texas workforce commission states ‘that pay cuts of 20% or more may give an employee good cause connected with the work to quit and qualify for unemployment benefits.’


Title: I fell after eating at a restaurant.

Question: I stepped out of a restaurant with the light of the sun in my eyes and didn't realize there was a step about 6 or so inches down. There are no signs posted and everything is the same color. After falling I thought I was fine and one of the workers came out to check on me and brought me another drink since I dropped mine and mentioned this is the second time recently someone's fallen. I have witnesses to the event but hours later my knee is swollen and unable to put weight on it and it is clear that im definitely not okay. How should I proceed from here and is it worth trying to talk to their insurance company? The business is in Ohio if that matters. I know this is vague but I'm in pretty severe pain and can't think straight.

Answer: If the step conforms to your locsl building code, it's not their fault. Black and white. You don't need to post warning signs about stepsAnswer #2: The first thing you should do is go to the doctor.


Title: [IN] Terminated (via email) for unknown reason by employer of 3 years. No documentation of disciplinary action. Discrimination?

Question: [deleted]

Answer:
  "I have had to get the labor board involved in the past. She was skimming money off of my paychecks, and eventually had to pay me back what she owed. She most likely knows I was the one that called since my checks were the only ones found being shorted. "
Isn't it pretty obvious that this is retaliation? Go back to the labor board and let them know. File the complaint with them, then seek a Lawyer...you likely have a case here.


Title: Recorded friend in bathroom. Can charges be brought against me without evidence?

Question:
[deleted]
Topic:
Computer and Internet

Answer: First of all, you're a horrible person.  Second, depending on what state you're in, you can prevent your wife from testifying against you in court.  It's called spousal privilege and it varies from state to state.  If she divorces you, the privilege will no longer apply.  You need a lawyer and psychological help.


Title: Neighbor planted invasive vines which are overtaking my property, but now their house is vacant and the vines are worse than ever. Is there any legal action that can be taken?

Question:
I'm posting and formatting this on behalf of my mother (who is not particularly reddit-savvy). She lives in North Carolina (Wake County). Here she is:

The neighbors who live in the house behind mine stopped taking care of their yard several years ago. At some point, they either planted these vines or let them take root. Regardless, these vines have now not only covered a lot of their own trees, but have crept into our property. We have damage to the fence and hedges on our side, which can be seen in the pictures here: [vine damage](http://imgur.com/a/D1U6u)

These vines are so aggressive that they require almost constant attention to keep them from overtaking our yard. As you can see above, there are several places where the fence itself has been warped from the vines. There are hundreds of roots now in our yard and through the fence, interfering with the invisible fence for the dog (black cable in pictures). They are also starting to grow under the concrete - which is another issue, as we have a pool and these roots will grow through the pool wall.

The trimming we had this week to cut back the vines and bushes was about $500 and they will probably need to be cut back again within six weeks.

Another problem, though, is that the house behind ours where the vines originate has been abandoned by these neighbors, although as far as I know it is not foreclosed upon. **EDIT: as per /u/SenatorMeathooks 's suggestion, she looked into the Wake County webpage and it is indeed in foreclosure, owned by Deutsche Bank.**

The question is, what (if anything) can I legally have done to take care of this problem? Can I somehow make them take care of the source of the problem? Are they responsible for the damage this is doing to my property?

Answer:
 I hope this would be legal, if not, mods please delete.

Ortho makes a product called "GroundClear" used to be called Triox, I am sure there are similar products from other manufactures. I think if you put the product down on your side of the fence, the vines will find locations other to go to.

This product used to be apply once every year, so don't use it where you want something to grow.

Just a thoughtAnswer #2: I asked a similar question last week and the users suggested calling code enforcement in the area and reporting the violation. That worked wonders for me and it's a quick and simple thing to try. If their vines are encroaching on your property they are probably against city code.


Title: [Urgent] A friend of mine just killed himself and I fear I might be involved in it

Question: [removed]

Answer:
 > I don't want to say where I live since it won't matter

But it does matter.


Title: My mother is financially ruining my veteran brother while he is serving a 3 year prison sentence. How can I strip her of POA for him or make her be transparent with is finances are concerned?

Question:
Illinois, USA: My brother has been paid $25,000+ military pay since his incarceration in 9/2014 and as of today his bank account is ZERO and he can only account for about $7500 of the money that is missing (attorneys fees, storage cost, bills, etc). He has asked her to give me all of his account information (statements, balances, etc.), but she is refusing. And she won't tell him the truth about any of it. She is his POA, but she was arrested 2 months ago for 3 felony counts of identity theft for opening credit cards in her ex-husbands name over the last several years. She is out of jail on bond and awaiting trial. My limited communication with my brother and her refusal to cooperate is making this difficult for me. If I don't stop her, he will have NOTHING when he is released! Any advice?
Topic:
Other Civil Matters

Answer:
 > If I don't stop her

You don't stop her.  You don't have standing.  You can, if you want, hire an attorney and have him draw up appropriate paperwork.  You'll need to figure out how to get your brother's signature.  Answer #2: Get him to sign power of attorney over to you. They have a notary in prison.


Title: Brother manipulated by punk kid

Question:
Hello, this is my first ever reddit post (I'm a long time lurker).

I (29F) have a twin brother with autism and a nonverbal learning disorder. He is extremely high-functioning in some ways (he can drive, he has a full-time job, etc), however he has no conception of money and is overly trusting and eager to make friends.

He volunteers as an equipment manager for the local football team at the area's largest public school. He has done this for years and knows a lot of the people who have graduated from that school. Long story short some kid who was recently kicked out of school there knew my brother and asked him to give him money, and my brother went to an ATM and withdrew $1600 for him (because he was his "friend). This is more than 2 months' salary for my brother, and he overdrew on his account by $750.

Besides the troubling fact that an atm allowed him to withdraw that much at one time without suspending his account, I want to know what if any action we can take legally. My parents spoke with the police, and even though we know the kid's name, they basically said because my brother withdrew the money himself there is nothing they can do. My brother has a documented developmental disability and receives social security (limited due to his employment, obviously).

Any feedback would be appreciated. If it helps I live in PA.

&#x200B;

Answer:
 The problem is that your parents decided that he was high functioning enough to manage his own money or at least withdraw his own without limit. This is what he did with the choice they made. The police have let you know their take on it. Are your parents primaries on your brothers bank accounts? Answer #2: Adding to what others have posted (especially /u/2there2square ).

This event should be enough evidence to your parents that they need sole control of your brother's finances. You already stated that your mother is the primary on his account. She needs to go in to the bank and see if they have the ability to set daily maximums for your brother and his bank card.


Title: Someone left a note saying I hit their car but I didn't...

Question: So today I had to go to an event; when I parked, there were only cars in front and to the right of me. I get back to my parking 2 hours later and the parking attendee gives me a note. She said the car to the left of me said I hit them. I am 100% sure I hit no car; I had two of my friends in the car with me and when I called them later, they also confirmed I didn't hit a car; and when I got the the event, there was no car to the left of me so it is impossible for me to have hit it since it wasn't there when I arrived. They left their name and phone number on the note. I don't know if I should call or not. I've been advised by the people in my life not to call since it would help support their accusation. Help please :)

Answer:
 Is there any damage to your car?  You've left that out.

If there is no damage, 100% do not call.Answer #2: First things first, is there any damage to your car?Answer #3: This is a common scam.


Title: Pharmacy mixed up my daughters meds

Question: My daughter takes seizure medication to control migraines once a day. Went to pick up the script this morning, paid for it, her name was on the bag, as was her correct doseage. Get it home, open it up and give it to her. About 15 minutes later I come in to put the bottle up and it had someone else's name and x4 the dosage of the same medicine. I call the pharmacy and they have me bring the wrong bottle back and give me the correct one. They (Walgreens) offer me rewards points to apologize, I decline reimbursement now in case of proceeding further. They give me phone numbers of the managers and tell me that they are opening a case with their insurance company. My daughter is now sleepy, dizzy, and her head hurts, as poison control said would happen (they also said it would not harm her so that's the best news). What are my options Reddit? This made us miss out on a concert tonight (Acoustic Christmas, Johnson city TN) that we paid $215.00 for. Thanks for the advice. Sorry for the wall of text, I find formatting impossible.

Answer:
 If she has prolonged adverse effects you can sue for malpractice. If she feels bad for a few hours and is then fine, then you have no real damages to sue for. Ask them to reimburse you for the concert tickets. Answer #2: Watch out for any possible seizures, as coming down rapidly off of seizure meds can provoke a seizure, even without epilepsy.Answer #3: Question as a layperson-how much legal responsibility is on OP or a prescription taker to make sure the medication is correct before taking/giving to a minor? I just know that since I have multiple drug allergies, I check the bottles and make sure the pills look the same. I'm just wondering where the law says responsibility lies.Answer #4: I'd suggest contacting the state pharmacy board. File a complaint against the pharmacy and the pharmacist in charge for malpractice.

I work in pharmacy and the investigation by the board is always more feared than a lawsuit.Answer #5: May I ask what medication it was?


Title: [New Mexico] - Tenant removed her belongings, left her keys. Now wants a rent refund or access to the property.

Question: [deleted]

Answer:
 >As I understand it, leaving one's keys is a surrender and with essentially everything they have gone, I conclude that both have decided to terminate their lease early.

Were the keys left in your possession, or were they left in their area of the house or a common area?

NM tenancy law says seven days while delinquent, so the earliest the property could be considered as abandoned would be the 28th. Keys have nothing to do with it unless the keys were given to you or your agent. Leaving keys in a common area (or, worse, their room) does not constitute abandonment.

This constitutes an illegal lockout to me. IANALAnswer #2: She left her keys in her own home and did not tell you she was vacating, so yes, taking her keys (both the physical ones and removing her door access) is illegal. She has a right to access until the end of the period she's paid rent for - even just to do laundry or store her stuff. You should refund her rent and hope she doesn't follow up with police or court.


Title: Is oversleeping really child abandonment?

Question:
My ex is the primary physical custodian over our son (4). By the agreement, I have 9 days a week, two weeks in JUNE/JULY.

I recently got a new job so I cut back on my days and won't be taking him for the full two weeks in the summer months.

I now have 6 nights a month. She has been fine with this so far.

I had  a really rough week this past week and it was my weekend to keep him. Friday night when I picked him up at 6pm (decree says 4pm on Thursday but I don't get off until 5:30 and I can't make it in enough time to get him Thursday so we do Friday now) he is a little crabby and as soon as we get home he starts asking to go back to his moms. I call her and she is ok with that. I take him home about 7:30. I tell her I will pick him up when I get around on Saturday morning to try it again.

I end up sleeping in late on Saturday until about 9am. I text her and say I'll be there in an hour. I accidentally end up falling back to sleep and don't wake up again until about 2pm.

From 9am to 2pm, she has called and texted a good 10 to 15 times.

When I call her back at 2:05, she is upset and says I can't see him today then. They are already out for the day. Maybe I can try when they get back home that late afternoon. She is obviously upset with me and mentioned how if that sort of thing continues to happen, it could make me lose my days. Like it could be child abandonment because I'm already not taking my other days.

That night he asked for mommy again and so I brought him over there. I later went out with friends only after they begged me to go out with them.

( She called because he wanted to say goodnight to me and she heard some noise in the back ground and asked if I was at a party. I told her I was having a beer with some friends)

So she thinks I dropped my son off with her to party and I didn't. It was a dark bar and one drink with friends and I was just trying to do what my son wanted, which was be with his mom.

If I had kept him, he would have been upset all night.

I am not sure if she is mad about the oversleeping thing or what.

Is this child abandonment? Is it going to look bad on me if we have to go back to court?

She is basically saying I have to take all my days in the decree now. Every single one, or go to court and fight to keep them.

Answer:
 What you described is not abandonment; just shitty fathering.

In case more need be said about that topic, I offer you this tidbit:

> She is basically saying I have to take all my days in the decree now. Every single one, or go to court and fight to keep them.Answer #2: It's not abandonment but you could still lose your days if it keeps happening.

Look at things from your son's point of view - he waited around for hours expecting to see you and you didn't show.  That hurts even adults, and I'm sure the frustration and disappointment was difficult to watch for your ex.  Please keep your commitments to your kid.

> If I had kept him, he would have been upset all night.

You should also consider posting in r/parenting for advice about how to make him comfortable at your place, and how to get him to sleep.  Your ex could also help by telling you what he's used to at her place.Answer #3: Not child abandonment but she's right about being as to take away your days if you continue this way.

You need to learn to parent without her because it won't get better.  Take all of your days--even if he's sick, you need to hire a sitter, or he just wants Mama.


Title: Stole A Car, Fled The Country

Question:
I had a massive lapse of judgement and stole a car. I needed money urgently, but I won't go into much detail about that. The vehicle wasn't particularly nice, it was worth only about $3,000 and the owner seemed rather well off. Detectives ended up figuring out it was me, so I fled the country and ran away to France as I am a French citizen. The last time I heard from the detectives, they had escalated it to the state as a grand theft auto charge. My plan is to wait it out and stay in Europe and let the statute of limitations take its course (or just stay here forever). I've done a lot of research and have seen that the UK does have an extradition policy with the US. My questions are: How risky is it going to the UK? What if I were to legally change my first and last name in France? My French ID number would stay the same, but the US is not aware of said ID number, they only have my name and US info.

Do not bother telling me to go back to the US and face the consequences. I did something stupid and learned my lesson. The vehicle was recovered with absolutely no damage to it and everything was inside. The amount of money I lost from leaving things behind far exceeds any fine a court would have imposed.

Answer:
 The statute of limitations does not run while you are out of the country after fleeing to avoid prosecution.

Also, the statute of limitations stops when charges are issued, which can happen while you're gone.  This isn't going away.

I doubt they will extradite you for a stolen car.

But ignoring the legal problem/obligation is not going to improve your situation here.

No one is going to help you avoid prosecution.Answer #2: It will never go away since charges only need to be filed within the SOL.  Enjoy your life in France.


Title: I am out of town but a trusted friend let me know that someone else has been in my house, slept in my bed, and ate my food. I am 99% sure it was my ex-bf with a key I didn’t know about. How do I report this when nothing serious was stolen, and I won’t be back in town until tomorrow?

Question:
Nothing was “stolen” other than my Red Bull’s and coffee grounds in the trash (trusted friend does not drink caffeine, ex drank a lot of caffeine), and some other food items, and a mess was left. It’s just sooo creepy to me that he must have had or found another spare key after I asked for the one I knew he had back when I broke up with him a month ago.

Why did I break up with him a month ago? Because he is a pill-addict, and other than living with me previously, he only had his parents house to stay at, where he could not freely do drugs and smoke weed. More specifically, I completely ended things when he broke into my house over thanksgiving break (I return home to another city for holidays) to get high “in peace” away from his family while I also was not there, because I have never allowed his drug use in my home either. I know, I should have changed the locks right away, but I am tight on money and over thanksgiving he did not use a key to get in, he removed a window pane in the front door to manually unlock the deadbolt. I figured if he took the trouble to do all this before, that he did not still have a key. He replaced the window pane after sobering up, so I decided not to report it (stupid), and then I had not seen him since. I received a voicemail on Wed Jan 1st at 6:47 pm from him saying that he was in medical drug detox for a few days, was reflecting on his actions and “thinking about me”.

Friend returned to my house after not being there since Dec 31 yesterday, Jan 2, to immediately tell me and send pictures of all the things moved, eaten, used. The pot she left there was all smoked and gone. My safe was moved and things taken off the top of it, probably because intruder tried to get it to open. The Red Bull’s were “disguised” in a plastic bag in the trash, but she isn’t stupid and merely looked a little harder because she is the ONLY person that has been there and that has a key, with permission. The only 2 people in the world who have ever had a spare key to my house is trusted friend I have described and the ex boyfriend. Even my bed looks slept in, which suggests that he actually stayed the night Jan 1st, and was never in drug detox (or if he was, left early), and potentially left me that message so that I would not be suspicious.

Unfortunately friend works full time and lives not super close to me, and she does not have the time, resources or knowledge on how to change my locks for me. I will be doing this as soon as I return tomorrow... I wanted to call the police last night but it was board game night with my family and I don’t think I can report anything when I’m not even there for the police to come and have me file a report? Especially if there was nothing valuable to really report as stolen?

Please help me figure out what to do here? I really don’t want him staying there and destroying the place again tonight, even if there is nothing valuable to steal. Trusted friend is a petite female and is scared to house-sit when he might show up with a key inebriated on pain killers, understandably so, so she will not be there today or tonight. Unfortunately there is no way I can make it back until tomorrow afternoon - evening. Ex was in the process of having a felony charge from when he was 17 expunged but the process had not been completed yet, so I know there are records of his finger prints in the system somewhere. I don’t know if this matters since nothing valuable has been stolen. I have absolutely 0 sympathy left for ex and I don’t give a DAMN if he gets officially reported for breaking and entering when this is the SECOND time i have been betrayed and taken advantage of when I am out of town for holiday.

Thank you so much if you took the time to read this. Any advice is appreciated. Also, my apology for not being sure which tag to select. Cheers for now 😅

Answer:
 >I wanted to call the police last night but it was board game night with my family

Board game night is not a reason to delay calling the police when you believe someone has come into your house uninvited. Call the police and tell them what's going on. Monopoly can wait.Answer #2: Call the cops tonight and just ask them to check your home because your housesitter told you someone was in there between her visits and she's the only person you have authorized to be there. Make sure you tell them her name and that she and she alone is allowed in the house (even if she's definitely not going back tonight, you never know). They may not go up and bang on the door or fully investigate the property, but they should at least drive by and look for activity.


Title: Got Scammed By A Web Developer On Reddit. Can I Get My Money Back? Please Help. I Really Need Advice.

Question: [removed]

Answer:
 Dispute the transactions immediately.

PayPal will let you file a dispute for up to 6 months on goods & services payments. Find the transactions, click "See details on classic site", and then click "dispute the transaction" at the bottom. In some cases you may only be allowed to "notify the seller" or "contact seller" - do that.

PayPal is generally buyer-side so you will most likely get a refund. No lawsuit required. You already contacted him but contact him by email once more with an ultimatum that you will be disputing the transaction if he doesn't give you a refund within 5 business days. That will almost certainly be enough to win the dispute. PayPal generally isn't worried about certified mail.

If you were instructed to pay as sending money instead of goods & services, threaten to report their PayPal account because they are doing so to evade fees and chargebacks (it is not possible to dispute a "sending money" payment). It won't force them to refund you, but it is good leverage to get your money back, if that's what you want.


Title: [IL] Question about setting things on fire...

Question:
Tomorrow I am taking the ACT test, this piece of shit test has been ruining my sanity and general state of mind for the past month. I would go on a rant about how shitty this thing is, but I would like to stay on topic.

After tomorrow, however, I will be free. However, after the test, I will still have my ACT prep material, plus unmeasured anger. It shouldn't take a rocket scientist to put two and two together.

If I go to a secluded area, such as an unused/abandoned baseball diamond or abandoned property, and set my ACT prep material on fire, could I potentially be in trouble?

Answer:
 Go to a campground or a beach with public firepits and burn it there, or burn it in your fireplace if you have one.

Burning things in the middle of someone else's property will get you done for trespassing, on top of any damage your fire causes to the property, and burning things in public parks is generally controlled by bylaws.


Title: Neighbors want to build road through land for farming and hunting.

Question:
Location. Winger, MN.

So my dad and I recently started hunting on my uncle's land inherited from my grandfather. The neighbors had verbal contacts to hunt and farm the land with my grandfather when our family stopped farming. Eventually the neighbors were only hunting and a third party started farming it when my uncle inherited the land.

Fast forward to when my dad and I start hunting the land. Both my dad and uncle talk to the neighbors to tell them they can no longer hunt the land. They are resistant at first, and argumentative. My uncle has said they can still use the land to get over to their land to hunt. Because a river cuts through the property. But they still press the issue and my uncle restricts access to the land. We post signs and a makeshift gate at the trail. There have been reports of the neighbors still trying to get on the land.

Now this year they are taking the uncle to court saying that a road needs to be built so they can easily access their land. (They have other ways to get to their land,  but going through my uncle's is easier.)

So my question is there any sort of obscure law that says when land has been used by certain people for so long, they can retain rights to use it. My gut says no since there were no contracts. Everything was only oral agreements. Would it be worth it to counter sue and could my uncle actually get anything from the neighbors if he didn't hire a lawyer.

My uncle's oral agreement with the neighbors said they could hunt the land as long as he got some of the meat from deer. He never got any meat either.

Answer: Yeah, we're going to need an MS Paint diagram of the property and the situation. Where do they want the road, what other access points are there to their land? Etc.Answer #2: They could claim adverse possession or a prescriptive easement.  Adverse possession is not going to be possible if you can document that they were using it with your uncle's permission, because the use has to be hostile (against the land owner's consent) and open for a period of time, usually many years.  A prescriptive easement gives someone access across land if their parcel is landlocked, meaning there is no other access (other things are required too).  You can't get a prescriptive easement just because it's more convenient.  These are common law principles (I did not research MN law specifically), and while it sounds like they have no real claim, you need a lawyer to advise and represent you if you don't want to lose control of the land.


Title: (FL) Is it legal for a health insurance company to charge women significantly more than men?

Question:
My husband and I have been looking for health insurance both through the marketplace and on our own.

A company is offering him insurance for $75 a month but for me to get the same plan it would be $350 just for me, I don't have any pre-existing conditions.

I called and asked why they said that because I'm a woman I'm a pregnancy risk and that they need to charge me more incase I get pregnant.

Is this legal? I'd post to the insurance subreddit but is seems really quiet.
Topic:
Insurance

Answer:
 It is not legal (anymore) for them to charge you more for the same plan because you are a woman. See: https://www.healthcare.gov/how-plans-set-your-premiums/

But it is legal for them to charge more for family plans... I wonder if that's what's happening here. I'd ask for clarification about that.Answer #2: Under the Affordable Care Act, it is illegal for insurance plans to discriminate on gender rating (ie. your gender). However, in practice, health insurance is still more expensive for women.


Title: Does the use of a song title as the name of a podcast infringe copyright?

Question:
Hi there,

I'm planning to start a podcast. Because of my interests and the subject of the podcast, I'd like to use the name of a Metallica song as the name of the podcast. However, seeing as one can sometimes make money from podcasting, potentially making the podcast a commercial work, I'm not sure if the use of the song name in this way is copyright infringement.

Any help you can give would be much appreciated, thanks reddit!

Answer:
 No, song titles are not copyrightable.

And, except for one or two EXTREMELY RARE circumstances, no song titles are trademarked either.

You are fine.  Happy_Bridge is using examples that are not applicable to this situation, citing actual trademarks of actual products which are completely and entirely different situations from song titles.


Title: Can a housing company dictate how warm or cold a house can be?

Question:
I'm not sure this is the right sub for this question. If not please direct me to the proper one.
I live in base housing in Florida. Today a couple people from the new privatized base housing company came to do an inspection of the air quality of the house. They fiddled with the control panel for our heating/air and now I can't get the damn thing to go below 70 degrees. We also received a letter about a week ago talking about heating/air in the house. Saying that our a/c should be set between 70-76 degrees.

This is not a big deal during the day. We keep it at 70-73. But at night we like it a bit cooler. Between 67-68. I'm also in the last few weeks of my pregnancy and am a human furnace right now. I cannot sleep cause it's just too hot.

I'm going to call housing first thing in the morning but before I did that, I wanted to get some advice as to not make a fool of myself.

Answer: Not legal advice, but if the air around the thermostat some how became warm, if, say, someone very carelessly pointed a hair dryer at it, the air conditioner would kick back on.Answer #2: You're in miltary "privatized" housing. They have their own set of rules, governed by their federal contract. Those rules allow them a LOT of leeway in the rules they can enforce on you. There's a VERY good chance that they are allowed to do exactly what they have done.


Title: Got into a car accident with work vehicle, boss says it's my responsibility for everything, advice?

Question:
Thank you for helping.

(There are 2 owners so I may use they/them or just refer to one at times)

I live in the middle Tennessee area and I work for a very small locally owned car dealership. Yesterday I was leaving to go on break, using a car from the lot. I am a salary employee and don't technically get "unpaid breaks", not sure if that matters.
I was pulling out of the parking lot onto the main road. The road has 2 lanes in each direction and a middle turning lane. I needed to cross the 2 lanes to get to the middle lane so I could then merge into the direction I needed to go. It's a very busy road with a light signal about 1000 to 1500 feet ahead of where I was pulling out. The light turned red and traffic stopped so cars gave me space so I could pull out since I was turning left. I pulled out and one of the cars that stopped waved me on. I creep up with just my very front end in the middle lane and out of the corner of my eye and for a split second I see a black SUV headed right at me. Then I get hit and my car turns about 90 degrees the other way. I do have a witness who told police she was speeding.
They swiped the front end of my car right off but it didn't impact the tires.
Luckily I'm ok with just bumps and bruises. As far as I'm aware the woman who hit me was not injured at all.

Here comes my question. I come in the next day and immediately ask my bosses/owners what I need to do, if anything. I figured the car would be covered under their liability insurance and it was partial faults, if not more so hers for speeding in a turning lane, so it would be easy... they go our way we go ours. The owner told me my personal insurance should be the one that covers it...

I didn't know much about car accidents as I have never been in one, but I had been told repeatedly since that happened that the insurance on the vehicle would be the first to cover it. I made a claim with my insurance just in case so I would cover my end, and I talked with the adjuster later that day. She explained it would be the insurance on the vehicle's responsibility as I had permission to drive it and I was at work. However, in case the claim was denied, my insurance might take the fall if they could, dependent on the circumstance.
I got off the phone with her and went into the owner's office and explained the insurance said because I had permission, no matter what I was doing, it was the vehicle insurance's responsibility. He then told me he had no idea why I said that because I did NOT have permission to drive the car and it was my fault.

Really confused, I had told him I had been driving the cars since September for both errands and food and it's always been ok. He then claimed he didn't know I was driving for food, he thought I was always doing work related stuff and never questioned it and never gave me permission for that. I had even told him, on multiple occasions, I would announce out loud that I needed a dealer tag to take a vehicle to go get food, and he claims he never heard it. I even asked the owners themselves a handful of times if it was ok to take a car to go get food.

I have emails that prove back in December 2017 they had asked their insurance to add me to the policy and the insurance told them it'd be a lot more money because of my age, not my driving history. They told them NOT TO ADD ME for now and just to wait.
So they knew I was driving vehicles the whole time but because it was for something specific they claimed not to know about, they said it's on me.

I feel like they are intentionally pushing the blame to avoid getting in trouble for allowing me to drive even though they knew I wasn't covered. However, I'm not well versed in this stuff so I don't know if because I admitted it was just for going on break, not work related, if I'm somehow screwed even though I thought it was OK either way as I had been doing it since I started there.

The owner did tell me that if I did that at any other place, I would be fired. He also told me that he plans on telling his insurance that he didn't give me permission and he "prays everything goes well". So now I'm worried his insurance will deny the claim, my insurance will then deny it, and then they'll sue me.

I have no contract or written agreement that says I am allowed or not allowed to drive the cars. Again, I had asked permission multiple times to use the vehicles and thought if I was allowed to multiple times, I wouldn't need to ask every time since I work there and use them almost daily.

Let me know if any further information needs to be provided, and thank you again for any help!

TLDR; Got into accident with car off car lot that I work at. Boss claims because it was on break and for food he didn't ok it, and it's my responsibility. I thought I had permission as i had asked a handful of times and been doing almost daily for the last 6 months.

Answer: Generally speaking, the driver of a vehicle is obligated to verify he is insured before driving, whether through your own insurance or the company's policy. It sounds like you were not using this vehicle *for* work, you just happened to borrow it without permission *during* work. I think there's at least a good chance you are on the hook here. Contact your insurance company.


Title: Gym Membership Advice

Question: I was registered for a gym for about 2 years. My credit card I was using to pay for the gym expired and I did not renew the card. I assumed my gym membership was cancelled as my card was getting declined, however, I just received an invoice for 7 months of overdue balances and charges totalling $500. What are my repercussions if I do not pay? Can they do anything if I refuse to pay? I live in Canada.

Answer: Why would you assume the membership was cancelled if you didn’t cancel it? You owe the money, and it will be sent to collections if you do not pay.


Title: [Australia] My 17 year old friend is living in a toxic environment in a house he owns with no parents

Question:
Let's begin with some background information about my friend, "Kurt". Kurt is currently 17, and has an 18 year old sister "Natalia" relevant later as well as a younger sister and an older sister [19].

When Kurt was around 15 his parents broke up. He bounced between living with his father and his sisters and mother, without a real place to call home. When Kurt was 16 his father died suddenly from a heart attack, this hit him really hard and complicated his living arrangements. He didn't want to live with his mother, and his not-so-nice sister Natalia so his girlfriend and her family were kind enough to allow Kurt to live in their house. This worked, and Kurt got on well with his girlfriend's family, better than he got on with her. A few months later the relationship between Kurt and his girlfriend weakened and they broke up. He still lived his his now ex-girlfriend's family for a few months after the break up, which only soured the remainder of their relationship. This is now where things get complicated.

Kurt, Natalia and their mother bought a house. They all legally own this house, although K cannot technically do anything with the house because he is underage. Kurt, his sister Natalia and a roommate of Natalia live in this new house, his mother and younger sister live about 10km away.

The house is used as the 'party house' by Natalia and all of her friends. They smoke, do drugs, party all night loudly and have no respect for the house or Kurt and make no attempt to keep the house clean. It is mentally and physically a toxic environment for him to be living in. Kurt most of the time shuts himself into his room, attempting to distance himself from the almost constant party. I'm personally unsure how bad this house is to live in, I haven't been there however a common friend has and didn't speak fondly of it. Kurt has almost finished secondary school and will be at the house more regularly.

Kurt has had a few rough years, and his living conditions aren't helping, what can he do?

TL;DR; Friend has had a rough few years and is currently stuck living in a house that he co-owns that is toxic to his physical and mental health

Answer:
 I had a roommate like this and it took me way too long to realize I could call the cops. Tattle, let them search for drugs, etc. and sister's friends will stop coming by so much. Answer #2: Is Kurt listed as an owner of the house on the deed to the house?  Is Kurt listed as a co-borrower on any loan or mortgage related to the house?

Kurt can try to convince his mother and sister to buy him out of his claim to any assets related to the house, or he can simply walk away from them. (But either way he should make sure that he is not saddled with any possible debts related to the house, because he doesn't want to be liable for any possible debts down the road when he can't control the assets.)


Title: Left phone at "friends" house, claims he doesn't have it/couldn't find it, even though FindMyIphone puts the phone at his location

Question:
First off, this is in Ontario, Canada.

Title is pretty self-explanatory, me and a group of friends went to a "friend of a friends" house pretty drunk friday night. Woke up the next morning at home realizing i must've left my phone at his house. Contacted him Saturday and he claimed to not know where it was and searched his house for it. Sunday i remembered to check findmyiphone, it told me it was directly infront of his house (i chalk this up to not being exactly accurate, as my phone was not in the middle of the street infront of his house.) Went to his house and confronted him about it, claimed he didn't know where it was and that "it couldn't have been at his house", even after showing him where the gps said it was located.

Oh, and as soon as i left his house, my phone went offline almost immediately after.

Unsure where to go from here. I have no problem contacting the police about this, it's just i'm unsure if this is actually a crime because i have no actual proof he stole it.

Answer:
 >I have no problem contacting the police about this

Do it anyway. They will tell you if it's worth investigating. If not, you can always try suing this guy for the value of your phone.Answer #2: One thing to note: FindMyiPhone is notoriously inaccurate.   There have been cases of the app showing multiple lost phones at a single location, where no such phones have been located.  While it can be helpful, relying on its information is an iffy prospect.


Title: Can my employer force me to work when I am sick?

Question: I live in California and work for a large retail company. I am very sick and am currently getting ready to go to urgent care. My manager said to come in as soon as I get out. Saying that I need to come in. Is this legal? Also the company was recently unionized I am not sure where to proceed or what my rights are.

Answer:
 > Also the company was recently unionized I am not sure where to proceed or what my rights are.

Your rights are articulated in your collective bargaining agreement.  Contact your Union Business Representative.  (Or whatever your union calls the person who represents you).


Title: Daycare Provider Trying to Make Me Pay More than My Signed Contract [UT]

Question:
I'm a single mom who gets daycare assistance from the state. I decided in late July to move my two children to a new daycare facility for a myriad of reasons but mostly because she cannot transport my daughter to kindergarten.  As per our contract, I gave her two weeks notice and after the two weeks are up, I owe nothing. Last week she tells me I need to pay for the whole month because the government mandates it; they pay their portion after me. I explain to her that seems odd that the government would make me pay the rest of the month when there are 2 weeks in this month she wont be watching them. I call workforce services and they explain to me that they pay their portion and then the rest is between me and the daycare facilitator.  I relay this to her and she thinks I'm wrong so I call back again with her present and the phone on speaker. They relay the same information. She asks if our contract is void because I'm on government assistance. The worker says no. Again, the workforce lady explains that they pay their portion and whatever happens from there is between my daycare facilitator and me. I can't specifically recall how the daycare facilitator gets on the topic but mentions to the lady on the phone if she can  charge me what she wants. The lady uses the example that the daycare facilitator could charge a million dollars, they'd pay their portion, and the rest of what was owed would be up to me. We get off the phone and I assume we have an understanding.  The government portion paid to her covers what is owed and so I owe nothing out of my own pocket. The daycare facilitator says no, she says she can charge what she wants and she's charging me for the month. I explain that she can't do that. When workforce services said the rest was between you and me they basically meant refer to the contract we have if we have one. We do so per our contract it explains I need to pay up to my 2 week notice and then I'm not responsible to cover anything else/the rest of the month. She believes that the contract doesnt matter, because she was told she can charge what she wants and she can make me pay the month. I tell her she is understanding it wrong. She CAN charge what she wants but we have a contract that states what she already charges and I gave my 2 weeks as required. I asked her if she makes her customers who dont get government assistance pay the entirety of month if they leave in the middle and she said no. This was a special perk she gets from me being on government assistance! I feel as though she's trying to take advantage of me so she can get what the state paid and the rest I owed if I had my children there for the month.  Meanwhile, I need to pay the new daycare out of pocket for, you know, actually watching my kids.

Per Utah law, do I need to pay her for the month even though she isn't watching my children the entirety of the month AND when I am in compliance with our contract?

Edit: typos. Sorry for all the typos. It's been a long day.

Answer:
 She's saying that the contract is void because you're on assistance? That's hilarious.

IANAL but I would pay her per the contract, and when she sends a bill for extra charges I'd laugh and go on with my life.

If you are actually sued, though, you absolutely must show up to court. Answer #2: If she sues you in small claims court, make sure you bring your contract and your receipts with you.  Since there is a signed contract and you adhered to the terms, it would be highly unlikely that she would win.Answer #3: No, it goes back to your contract.


Title: Photography and copyright; issues with a client

Question:
Hi everyone,

I'm a photographer in the Washington, D.C. area and have recently experienced some issues with a client. We previously never had a contract that stated the terms of our work together, but as I am trying to grow my business, I decided to implement one. After I gave her the contract, the client disagreed with my stating that copyright will remain mine regardless. From my understanding, copyright belongs to a photographer unless it is signed away and/or sold. She is wanting to have copyright of my images and believes she has a right to them (selling, marketing, etc) because she paid me to take photos of her. She has had a lawyer draft up a model release that states that she retains copyright. I refuse to sign it but would appreciate any help in going forward. I don't necessarily care to work with her again after this but I do want to make sure I keep my copyright and am paid for my work if it is sold.

Answer: I'm not sure what the question is. You can contract for either party to own the copyright. It's part of the negotiation. If you can't work it out, don't work together.


Title: (Ohio) International student got arrested for Disorderly Cond. and resisting arrest. How serious is this?

Question:
Yesterday after a night of heavy alcohol I was confronted by the cops and unfortunately got charged with resisting arrest and disorderly conduct. I pleaded not guilty in the morning with the judge and had a bond of 350 in order to be able to leave the jail the same day. I have a court date set for july 13th and do not know how to proceed. Should I get a lawyer? How much will this affect me in my future? (I am a college student) Is there any way I can get this removed from my record? Also where should I go about and search for a lwayer?

I am an international student on an F-1 Visa, am I looking into more serious consequences due to this that might affect my visa entirely?

Any help and advice would be greatly appreciated.

Answer:
 Remember that regardless of the final disposition you will need to declare it in an interview and have documentation of the final outcome. Good luck and you should reevaluate your drinking.

edit: just to clarify I mean immigration interview.Answer #2: Resisting is punishable by up to a $750 fine and 90 days in jail. Disorderly conduct is can be up to 30 days or $250 fine, or just up to $150 fine, depending how it is charged. Both are expungeable. Get a lawyer, he or she will help minimize punishment, possible diversion, and expungement.  Both may or may not effect your status.