Title: My best friend was hit by a drunk driver while riding his motorcycle a few months ago, now our work is trying to force him to quit instead of firing him. It's very shady. Help please.

Question:
So, my best friend we will call... Patrick... Recent was hurt. He was riding home from work and was hit by a vehicle while driving his motorcycle home one night. The other driver, a 19 year old male, was extremely intoxicated and swerved across the road to PURPOSEFULLY hit him and destroyed his 3 month old motorcycle, broke my friends leg in two places, and fractured his pelvis. This was in January of this year.

My friends been on medical leave of absence from the place we both work, he's recently started walking on his own and his other job has placed him on light duty, however my job doesnt have light duty. His next doctors visit to possibly put him back on full duty is in July.

My work contacted him 2 days ago and told him he should think about quitting. My friends worked at our job for approximately a year, however he IS "on call" (we live in Nevada if that matters?) and his leave of absence recently ran out. People in the past have taken MUCH longer leave of absence for much less severe issues like very minor fender benders and whatnot.

Today Patrick had a meeting with HR and they told him he has two options, he can quit, or he needs to sign paperwork stating he "admits to not being able to preform his basic job duties" so the company can fire him. Patrick asked the manager who was in the meeting (that does NOT like him) who basically pleaded the fifth and would not help him, but told him he can reapply in 6 months. (Which we all know he won't get hired because the manager does NOT like him at all for personal reasons) They told him he HAD to choose today. Patrick has never been late, written up, dicaplined, and he's a great coworker and person and employee. He's VERY over qualified for this job yet loves doing it. The manager doesn't like him because he's a creepy fucking 50 year old who's been trying to get with all the 19 year olds who like Patrick (Patrick isn't trying to or hasn't been with any of them) and this makes the manager extremely dangerous.

I feel like this is extremely illegal especially basically forcing him to choose today, the injury wasn't his fault, and it was less than an hour after we were off work (our company states they cover us for anything an hour before and after a work day) yet they are telling him he HAS to quit and I feel like that's wrong, he's not getting paid or holding a real "slot" to prevent another employee for working anyways. All he wants to do is keep his job and be able to come back when he's able to. No gain in seniority or anything or pay increase.

I told Patrick before the meeting to record what was said with the voice recorder in his phone (which he stupidly didn't) and to tell his lawyer (who's dealing with the legal stuff already from the 19 year old) and to call the state labor board.

Is this illegal? Legal? What can he do? This feels like such bullshit and so shady for the place we work for to do this. Does anyone have any experience with something like this?

TL;DR; Friend got hit in a hit and run, has been out of work. Work is trying to force him to quit instead of firing him for some reason. Is this illegal since it was an hour after work (which they say they cover) and he wasnt at fault for his injury and isn't being paid by the company.
Topic:
Employment Law

Answer:
 >Today Patrick had a meeting with HR and they told him he has two options, he can quit, or he needs to sign paperwork stating he "admits to not being able to preform his basic job duties" so the company can fire him.

Well, he has a third option:  Just keep going to work until they fire him.


Title: If someone assaults a pregnant woman and she loses her baby, is he charged for murder or just assault?

Question:
Does the pregnancy month matter?

What if the woman was intent on having an abortion before the assault, does that change anything?

Answer:
 This is going to depend on the specific laws of the state you're in. I believe just about every state has either a separate statute or an enhancement for an assault on a pregnant woman resulting in injury to her child.Answer #2: I don’t think the intent of the patient matters. I could have a mastectomy scheduled for tomorrow morning, but it’s still not acceptable for an amateur to cut off my tit.Answer #3: The answers depend on the location and the exact facts.  In my state the unlawful termination via of another's pregnancy can be murder, voluntary manslaughter, involuntary manslaughter, reckless homicide, negligent homicide, agg vehicular homicide, vehicular homicide, or vehicular manslaughter.

The woman's intent on having an abortion at a later point does not matterAnswer #4: Iirc different states may have fetal homicide laws. When Chris Watts killed his pregnant wife & 2 kids, he got 3 murder charges, and because there was no fetal homicide law, he was additionally charged with unlawful termination of a pregnancy.Answer #5: Scott Peterson was convicted of 1st degree murder for killing his pregnant wife Laci, and 2nd degree murder for their unborn son.


Title: Racial Discrimination Question

Question: Okay, so I have a weird hypothetical: If I am black and in a workplace where the boss has been sexually battering all the other employees except for the black people, is that a form of discrimination against me?

Answer: Yes of course it is. You should file a lawsuit asking the court to force your boss to sexually harass the black employees too


Title: [PA] HR is asking for me to get my physician to write a letter saying that I am able to do my job after I asked for reasonable accommodations. Is this legal?

Question:
I recently asked my employer for reasonable accommodations  (text to speech application) due to a recent neurological diagnosis that can affect my fine motor skills. They agreed but also wanted to know what it was and why I was requesting accommodations (which is in their right per the ADA from what I understand).

In addition, I received a letter several days later from HR along with a copy of my job description, asking me to request a letter from my physician stating that I can do my job according to my job description. From what I understand of the ADA, this seems like an overstep. Should I ignore/rebuff this request?

EDIT: Thanks for the responses everyone!

Answer:
 I wouldn't ignore it. Remember it's *reasonable* accommodation. If you can't do your job, they can't *reasonably* accommodate that. Your physician has to recommend something that allows you to still be able to complete the rest of your job duties. Answer #2: This is called a functional capacity evaluation and is both very common, and not an overstep of ADA.Answer #3: https://www.eeoc.gov/policy/docs/guidance-inquiries.html

That's the big long explanation.

The tl;dr - they can ask for a medical examination as long as it is **job related and consistent with business necessity**

The fact that they are giving a copy of your job description and (appear to) be limiting the scope of the letter they are asking for from your physician to a direct comment on your capacity to meet this job description makes me think this is going to be okay for them to do.

Answer #4: Yes they can ask for that. The note from your doctor doesn't have to say your exact medical condition. What it needs to say is you have a medical condition and need this accommodation to do your job.


Title: Sent a nsfw video to someone by request. Now they won't stop texting me and threatening to send the video around.

Question:
So I replied to a casual encounter on Craigslist (I know first mistake). I sent this person a nsfw video by their request. I was lead on to believe they were a woman, the person was a guy.

They have been texting me since Saturday about really sexual things. I have continued to decline them what they want, really trying to be cool and nice about it.

Now they're threatening to send the video to my family because I'm pretty sure they found me on Facebook. Is there anything I can do?

I live in Bellingham, WA

Answer: It's a very common scam and you cannot oblige any of his demands, because he'll never stop making more. If he didn't show you evidence that he has your friend's list, lock all up that up real quick. They usually prove they know exactly who you are...if you can't find "you" by Googling your phone number or any other details of yours he has, you may be more so in the 'okay' than most. No, there's really nothing you can effectively do about this except brace yourself for impact. I always say, though, that everyone sexies. Ain't nobody worried about your wiener laid bare on the Facebook floor. If I received a picture of an associates nether regions, I'd neither think much of it or care. I've seen a dick, you know?


Title: [NV] Fire lane says "FIRE LANE" doesn't include no parking

Question: [deleted]

Answer: In what world has parking in a fire lane ever been ok?


Title: online casino, please help

Question:
hello i desperately need help, i received 200k in compensation from a car accident, i was badly injured and cant work again.
a few days ago i spent my whole compensation 200k at an online casino in 48hrs, my life is over words cant say what im going through at the moment except i think i need to go to hospital.

anyway is there any way of them refunding the money or a % of it, does this ever happen? i have a serious problem and i hope i havent ruined my life .
so sorry for this post my emotions are getting the best of me
im in Australia

Answer:
 I can't see how you can recover your money.  No one forced you to gamble.

Your life isn't over.  Essentially you are in the same position as you were before receiving the settlement.  If you are thinking of hurting yourself, go to the hospital


Title: Dog died in care of trainer. (CA)

Question:
I left my dog with a trainer who did a 3 week dog bootcamp. I made it extremely clear that she can escape a flimsy fence, a kennel, a crate, etc. He took the precaution of putting her in a heavier duty crate at night and putting a second tag on her if she were to get out. He neglected to tell us that there was a massive hole in his fence. Our dog escaped through said hole an was hit by a car and killed. We were notified via the animal control office who scanned her chip after they failed to resuscitate her. The trainer did not even notify us that she had escaped. I don't know how many hours or days that she was running free without us being notified.

The trainer offered a full refund ($2500) and $1000 to cover the loss of our dog. We accepted knowing that we wouldn't get much more in small claims court, as you can't just sue for being heartbroken.

My question is, what steps should I be taking next? Is there a board of trainers I should report him to? He was negligent and our dog died because of it. We trusted him to care for our dog and to train her. This has been an extremely traumatic event for me and my husband, and we don't want anyone else to go through this. Please let me know any other steps I should take.

Answer:
 > My question is, what steps should I be taking next?

You answered your own question.

> The trainer offered a full refund ($2500) and $1000 to cover the loss of our dog. We accepted knowing that we wouldn't get much more in small claims court

You already took a settlement

> what steps should I be taking next

Grieve for the loss of your dog and move on with your life.
Answer #2: I don't know if much you could do from a legal standing. As a customer though you can always make sure your story is heard. Leave a review on their Yelp, Facebook, whatever you can.


Title: (KS) Friend bought a car from a police auction and eventually found ~$20k cash in the gas tank.

Question: This actually happened several years ago. The car wouldn't take much gas, and would run out of gas somewhere just above the half tank reading. He eventually dropped the gas tank to see what was causing the issue, and found a plastic-wrapped brick of cash. Being an upstanding citizen, he turned it over to the police immediately and it was confiscated and not returned. He is not interested in pursuing anything, but I am super curious if he was legally obligated to do so, or if he technically owned the money as a result of purchasing the car.

Answer: Generally proceeds of illicit activities are seizable.Answer #2: Your friend should consult with an attorney, specifically someone who has experience dealing with commercial sales transactions.  He may be the legal owner of that cash.  There is enough money at stake so that it would be worth getting legal advice from an attorney who represents him.


Title: Ex is threatening to keep child away from me

Question:
Hi All, Happy new year. Writing on a throwaway acct and in need of advice and knowing what my rights/next steps should be. I reached out to several lawyers but given the holiday season many offices are closed atm and I want to know what to expect.

***Brief background:***

· Have a 2 year old child shared with an ex

· I was in a 10 year long distance relationship with said ex that ultimately didn’t work out

· We live in two different cities in CA about 500 miles apart

· I currently take a week at minimum each month to go and visit my child.

· I also try to help with my child’s bills by giving \~50% of her costs to my ex (nanny bills etc).

· I was previously advised by a lawyer to try to settle everything amicably and out of court because it makes it easier on both parties and judges tend to hate dealing with things that can be dealt with open communication.

· When I visit I rent a room in a local hotel so I do not stay at her place (if that makes any difference)

·I cannot move to where they are because the companies in my industry are all headquartered where I am.

***The problem:***

We recently got into a heated discussion and she brings up the fact that our current arrangement cannot work long term, which I can understand because once my child starts school the dynamic will shift due to changes in schedule. I have suggested many times in the past to her that she is more than welcome to send our child over to me (e.g. I can fly to her and pick up our kid) even if it’s for a week break so she can get her bearings together. I have the better infrastructure where I am at – tons of family support as well as better schooling system. Whenever I bring this up she always states that she will never let our child go with me and eventually continues on that she can keep my child from me whenever she wants. She stresses that I am only allowed to see my child is because she allows it. My understanding which I told her is that she cannot legally keep our child away from me to which I state we would need to seek legal representation.  After further discussion, she says handling our child is very difficult and then flips and says she is willing to move on the condition that we get back together. I love my child to bits and I have been doing everything I can for our child, but I cannot let the mother manipulate me emotionally nor use our child as a trump card like that to try to get us back together.

&#x200B;

**My question to you is how screwed am I (I am in CA after all hah), what are my rights as a father, and what should I do going forward?  Does it matter that I have a better school district, better infrastructure support etc?  I love spending time with my child, but does that even matter in the courts at this point?**

Sorry for the piss-poor writing, I’m pretty stressed out atm.

Answer:
 You need to talk to another attorney and file a case for custody. The court will look to see what is in the best interest of the child.

Truthfully the court is unlikely to make huge changes to the current custodial relationship based on nothing but better schools. More likely is that upon the child reaching school age you would be granted weekend visitation and some holidays and time during the summer. But without getting into the deep factual issues which we cannot do here it’s impossible to say for sure.


Title: Direct TV is reporting a delinquent account on my wife's credit score. She doesn't have an account with Direct TV.

Question: [deleted]

Answer: the notifications went to your wife's parent's house, which they likely ignored and didn't think would matter, except that it is your wife's SSN attached to the account.  Since her SSN was attached to the account when signing up she is still responsible for the debt.  This all falls partially on her parents for not keeping up with the notifications and likely debt collector calls, and partially on your wife for not understanding this would be on her credit, AND this has likely been on her credit report for some time.


Title: Being contacted by a family member of someone with a restraining order.

Question:
Hi all, I'll keep this short and sweet.

&#x200B;

My boyfriend is caught in a legal battle right now and is being falsely accused of assault. This person falsely accusing my boyfriend has a restraining order against my boyfriend. We'll call him F.

&#x200B;

In the midst of this battle after the restraining order was put into place, my boyfriend gets a snapchat friend request from F's baby mom. My boyfriend didn't accept or deny it, took a screenshot of it, and showed his public defender immediately. The public defender didn't really say much about it and didn't even mention it to the judge at court today. My boyfriend asked about it after court and the public defender told him to accept the friend request and "see what happens" which I can't help but feel like is.... Maybe not the best advice?

&#x200B;

Is F's baby mom contacting my boyfriend a breach of the order of protection? The order of protection clearly states my boyfriend is not to contact F of any member of his family... Doesn't that also count for the other way around i.e. F's family contacting my boyfriend? If he accepts the friend request and she tries messaging him, is there any way that could come back to hurt him or will it just hurt F's case? I can't find much information online and my boyfriend's public defender just doesn't give a shit enough to explain any of this to us or use this information to help his case.

Answer: Best bet is to screenshot, ignore, and block. If it ever comes up, you have evidence that they tried to contact him and he took the proper steps to avoid communication.


Title: [NY - NYC] Employer cancelled my health insurance and didn't let me know

Question:
I am leaving my job to start a new one on Oct. 7th. I let them know Sep. 12th that I was leaving. I had to take the day off and scheduled a doctor appointment for a routine checkup. When I logged into my health insurance page to make sure I still had coverage it said that I was no longer a member.

I know they are not obligated to provide me with insurance as it's a small business with less than 10 people but shouldn't I be notified if they are cancelling my insurance?

EDIT:  I just called the insurance company and it seems that the insurance was cancelled on 8/31, well before I told them I was leaving.

EDIT 2:  Called the insurance company again to see when exactly the policy was terminated.  Apparently they terminated it on 9/13, a day after I gave my notice, and not on 8/31 but my coverage technically ended 8/31

Answer:
 Make sure your coworkers know this. Then when your coworkers leave, they can know not to give the company the courtesy of two weeks notice. Answer #2: Was just yours cancelled or everyone's? Sometimes the whole group gets cancelled if they don't pay the bill.Answer #3: OP... if you paid the premium for September through your paycheck then you should still have coverage through 09/31.

Did they deduct the premium for the month of September?  If they did, and Im sorry to have to tell you this, but you will have to make another round of calls to inform them of the issue.


Title: A customer tried to buy alcohol in my line after being denied by another cashier. Manager has me spooked

Question:
I work at a very busy grocery store.

Guy comes in with his GF. They try to buy a case of beer. They get told no because his girlfriend cannot produce ID.

They go sit in their car for about three minutes. Comes back into the store by himself, tries to buy a case of beer. I ID him, 1993, he's old enough. The cashier that checked him the first time stopped me and explained what happened, so I told him I'm sorry I can't sell you anything. I tell him he needs to go somewhere else to buy it (there are 4 stores that sell beer in driving distance.) He throws a tantrum. Manager comes out and effectively tells him to fuck off, and he does so.

Then the manager lets me know I could have been legally on the hook had I sold it to him before the other cashier saw, and that i need to keep track of that.

Is that true? There is literally no way I could keep track of all 7 registers while working my own.

Alabama AL

Answer:
 You could certainly be fired but you're not going to be charged with a crime unless you sell to somebody who is underage.Answer #2: > Then the manager lets me know I could have been legally on the hook had I sold it to him before the other cashier saw

I don't see how, if he was of age. Your *manager* should have trespassed him when he came back in.


Title: Friday funday: Entrapment is still illegal (livetweeting proceeding)

Answer:
 Background: The RCMP spent millions of dollars of a newly-created anti-terrorism budget, conceived of by a previous government that had its own problems when it came to fearmongering and folks what don't look like us, to convince two drug-users of diminished mental capacity to join a terrorist plot that the police created *de novo*. The cops guided these two funlickers through literally every step of choosing a target, building a device and planting it, then arrested them for being terrorists. The judge is currently in the process of dismantling their entire ludicrous case, and I will be shocked and alarmed if the Court does not rule that coaxing and goading a "minimally exceptional" person to commit an offense is not an appalling type of entrapment.

As a Canadian with a keen interest in things like police investigations, fairness, justice and public safety, I'm sickened by what I think I know about this whole situation.

edit: Fucking barf, the judge just used the phrase "police manufactured crime" to describe their conduct. I want an inquest.


Title: [CA-Riverside] My parent's neighbor's ficus is so big it's knocking down our wall

Question:
My dad is scared to touch the wall because he thinks it'll bite him in the ass if he does. (Liability for him being the last person to try to repair it or whatever)

The BRICK wall is flexing nearly a foot in the center away from where the corners stand. My grandpa installed metal poles to stop it from flexing any further but I can't help but think we should just take the poles out, let the wall fall, and then have them pay to fix our damaged property. We've approached them multiple times (once a year or so) to ask them to do something about it but they refuse. They won't even trim the top of it so we can see the mountains! Our city has a wall height ordinance so they use a ficus to get around that, they essentially have a 20 ft high wall around their entire property and I'm POSITIVE it's damaging neighboring walls as well.

Is there anything we can do to get this handled?

Answer:
 What kind of wall are we talking here? House? Landscaping? Retaining?

Being located in the land of litigation, you're really going to be best served by a local real estate attorney. It'll probably also require an arborist, and civil engineer depending on what type of wall is being damaged, so you can accurately determine the cause of the damage and the remedies.

Your neighbor already being un-neighborly points to it not being remedied easily.


Title: My wife is getting less shifts/money due to religious reasons?

Question: [deleted]

Answer:
 If they have four shifts available, and one is a Sunday, and your wife has no availability on Sunday, then someone else gets that shift.

She still gets the other three shifts she can work.

I don't think they have any obligation to cut hours from other people to accommodate her availability.

But one of our more civil folks can confirm that.Answer #2: Not having her there on Sundays isn't petty in a tightly-scheduled work setting.


Title: Accidentally sent nudes to 16 year old (Chicago il)

Question:
I was using okcupid and a girl gave me her number. I assumed she was 18 as that was the age listed in her profile. She asked for pics and eventually I sent her nudes with my face (stupid I know). I asked her for some. She never sent me anything explicit, just grainy pictures of her in shorts and a tank top. Eventually she told me she was 16 and about to turn 17 in a few days. This is the part where I screwed up majorly so please don't hate me too much.

I didn't immediately turn her down. I told her it was inappropriate and that if she sent me anything I would have to look at it and immediately delete it. Then I asked her to send me a picture with her holding a sign with my name and she could wear as little clothing as she liked. I did this because I kind of suspect that maybe I was being catfished. I then realized how stupid I was and told her not to send me anything explicit and that we shouldn't sext until she was 18. She then sends me a close up of a vagina and claims is is hers but you can't see anything that associates her with the picture since only the vagina is in view. I delete it and tell her I deleted it. I also ask that she delete the pics I sent her. I ask her to please send me a clothed picture of her holding a sign with my name to prove she is a real person. She says she doesn't want to do that because it is "weird" and I havent heard from her since.

I am wondering what I should be doing now and if I have anything to worry about. She knows my first name and has naked pics of me that are easily identifiable. I am not sure if this is even a real person. At this point I am hoping its a fake account. While it would suck to have my nudes posted online, it would probably be worse to have them sent to a 16 year old. I am very much freaking out now. What should I do?

Edit: I am a 24 year old male and I have screenshots of her profile saying she is 18. I haven't deleted our text convo but I also haven't screenshotted it.

Edit2: I sent a message stating that I believe I was being scammed and that extortion was a crime. I stated any pictures I sent were due to deception and that I was documenting everything.

Answer:
 Yep, you're being catfished.
Block.  Delete.  Ignore.


Title: Got banned in a game I spent 200 dollars on, I know it is unjust and don't know what to do.

Question:
Do human rights (specifically article 11) extend out to online video games?

6 months ago, I got banned from a game that I have spent 200 or more dollars on. I know why they banned me and I know that it's not right.

I used cheat engine on a game called dying light. I always cheat on single player games only because I am incredibly lazy. Everytime I changed games, I always make sure to close cheat engine along with dying light.

One night, though, when I switched games to an online game, I forgot to switch off cheat engine, triggering the online game's anti cheat detection software to kick me and put a flag on my account (bear in mind, it only flagged me as having "cheat detection software open" as it said that before I got logged out).

This case would be similar to bei g arrested for possessing a knife while you are on the kitchen

I don't want to give up on this since I have spent hard earned money on this game. I dont know what to do as we since I am not a full adult yet and have very limited choices due to me not having enough money.

Any help is incredibly appreciated.
Topic:
Consumer Law

Answer:
 > Do human rights (specifically article 11) extend out to online video games?

No. You do not have the human right to use a video game made by a private company. Sounds like you violated their TOS and got banned.


Title: Guy broke my car while test driving it.

Question: I'm trying to sell my 2001 toyota sequoia at a car fair.  A guy wanted to text drive it and I told him that the 4x4 doesn't work but drives great in 2 wheel drive. First thing he does is put it in 4 wheel drive. Now the car is stuck in 4x4 and the guy just walks off and I have to tow it out of the car fair to get it fixed . I have his phone number and a first name. Is this worth going after for repairs or am I just sol.

Answer: Sure, you can sue him for the bill. You told him not to do something in your vehicle, he did that thing and it cost you money. That's the perfect basis for a civil suit. I'd certainly go that route. Don't forget to add the tow charge and the court fees (*if allowed*) in your suit.


Title: I made a logo for somebody and I've let them use it for free for several months. I now want compensation.

Question:
ON, Canada - I designed an original logo for a guy I started dating a few months ago. He is commissioned to make videos, and he uses the logo in the corner of every video. We're now broken up, and I don't want him using the design anymore for free. My plan is to legally copyright the design, then e-mail him asking to either stop using it completely or pay me for my work (in which case there will be a contract involved).

My only problem is that when I completed the design for him, I texted him saying it was done. He then texted back something along the lines of "What can I do in return?" and I told him he can make me dinner. He did. Does this technically/legally give him any rights over the design? Could he possibly use this as a defence to keep using the logo even though I was never actually paid what I deserve? As far as I understand, I still have all rights to this piece of work, but I just want to confirm.
Topic:
Intellectual Property

Answer:
 You made a verbal contract with him. You received a dinner. At best, you can argue that he received a license to use your logo for a finite amount of time and that time is now expired. At worst, you sold him the logo.

Sadly, this just isn't going to be worth your time. I would ask him for money and, if he denies you, then just move on.


Title: Punched in the face, arrested, and charged with battery. I'm a goodie two-shoes. Help?

Question:
**Wisconsin.**

&nbsp;

I had been dating and living with a guy for the past two years. I recently ended our relationship (he had anger issues that I did not feel safe around), and I have since moved into my own single apartment.

He packed up the rest of my things that were still at his place, and told me I cold pull up to the curb outside the apartment to get them.

When I arrived, instead of letting me take my stuff and leave, he started throwing the bags (mostly of clothes and towels, nothing harmful) at me, and shouting obscenities (bitch, cunt, whore). I said "No I'm not! Please, stop..." and started picking up my things off the ground and putting them in my trunk. After I had picked it all up, he sat on the edge of  my open trunk so that I couldn't close it, and continued the nonstop yelling of obscenities from his new seat.

I asked him to let me go, but he wouldn't move, and just sat there yelling bitch/cunt/whore at the top of his lungs. I finally had had enough, so I slapped him across the cheek (not hard, just enough to get his attention) and raised my voice to shout "Stop!" After slapping him, he froze and stared at me, then clenched his jaw and started stepping into my personal space, and then raised his right hand and punched me in the face. Hard. I whirled around from the force and started screaming loudly for help and crying because it hurt so bad, and because I was scared. When I started screaming for help, he backed off a little, but not very far.

The police arrived very quickly since we lived close to a major road, and I was so glad to see them. I asked one of the two police officers for a hug. After telling one officer exactly what happened, (my ex talked to the other) they told me I was under arrest for battery and disorderly conduct, put cuffs on me, stuck me in a police car, and sent me to jail where I had to wait for almost three hours in a dirty cell to get fingerprinted and have my photo taken. I had to pay $683 bail to have them shove me out onto the street at night with only a light jacket and my ID/credit card in below freezing weather.

I am a full time student at college, and don't have that kind of money. I am trying to get my life in order and find a boyfriend who will treat me with respect. I don't understand why I got arrested even though I'm the one who got assaulted and called for help. Now I have a court date on a day I have classes, a bruised jaw, and probably a criminal record. I didn't even get all of my stuff from my ex's apartment!

What do I do now? Can I get my money back if I show up for court? Can I put this behind me without having a criminal record? What is going on and what should I do? I am so scared and confused!

I am 5'0" 85lbs F, and he was 5'6" 185ish M.

If I had known this was the "help" I screamed for, I would have rather just taken the beating.

&nbsp;

**TL;DR: Tried to pick up my stuff fron ex's apartment. Ex threw my things at me, yelled bitch/cunt/whore at me nonstop, and prevented me from leaving. I slapped him and yelled "Stop!", he responded by punching me excessively hard in the face. I screamed for help. Cops showed up and arrested me for battery and disorderly conduct, I spent hours in jail, had to pay $683 bail and now have to go to court.**

&nbsp;

**Someone please explain what is going on and what I should do? I don't feel I deserve this at all.**
Topic:
Criminal Law

Answer:
 >I finally had had enough, so I slapped him across the cheek

And you committed an act of domestic violence.

>then raised his right hand and punched me in the face. Hard

So did he.

>I asked one of the two police officers for a hug.

As a practical matter, many police will suspect that this is a manipulation tactic.  It likely didn't help you.

> Can I get my money back if I show up for court?

Yes, unless you're found guilty of a crime. If you are, you can request that your bail amount be used to satisfy some or all of your fine.

>I am 5'0" 85lbs F, and he was 5'6" 185ish M.

You being small doesn't mean you have a legal right to hit him in the face.


Title: T-boned by a phantom, boned further by officer on scene. What can/should I do?

Question:
Hello LA, LTL (thru r/bestoflegaladvice), FTP. Honestly never thought I'd post here 😅 I'll say ahead of time that I'm working with my family to figure things out, but I need as much advice as I can get. TL;DR at bottom.

So last week (in state of NY, USA) I was in an auto accident. Driving through a rural intersection, I had a green light and speed limit of 55. My buddy in the passenger seat remembers it being green. Having just accelerated after turning onto the road I was going 50-55 through the intersection. I particularly remember the line of 4-5 stopped cars to the right, so I KNOW I had green.

Out of nowhere comes this SUV from the left going 55 as well. I had probably 20-30 feet straight forward to stop, not enough especially if you partly freeze on the bread like I did.

So we collide and it's done, I black out for 30 seconds and my buddy and I both get carted off to the large trauma center near me because of my head injury (ultimately minor, some staples and a tiny brain bleed that disappeared) and other minor injuries. Both of us get out by noon the next day.

Now, I go the day after to the collision place and clear out my little car (RIP 😢). I meet the attending officer there and he gives me the insurance exchange... and a ticket for running the red. Now, he got to the accident after the ambulance crew (I never saw him) and he claimed that everyone he spoke to only heard it, and took one statement from someone who claimed I ran the red apparently. Thus, I was placed at fault.

He didn't take statements from anyone involved because he claimed my buddy and I were 'incoherent' (fair for me between the instant of the accident and the ambulance, but I woke up quick on the ride. My buddy was clearer than I was on site and helped the bystanders call our moms) and apparently he couldn't FIND the other driver. With the guy's address available.

The bystander who called my buddy's mom (using my phone) told her that the other guy ran the red. We didn't get his name.

So based on one witness of dubious veracity (as far as I'm concerned) and the other driver disappearing into the wind, I at the moment have no recourse to replace my car.

One thing I discovered the days after... the other driver's lane slowed down to a 30 from a 55 before the intersection. Say my car was a car-sized cake, it looks like hulk Hogan bodied the driver's corner. So he was still going 55-60, or speeding by at least 25 mph.

Oh, and the officer was a noob, only on the job for 6 months before this. There are two gas stations that *might* have footage, but that's just an idea I've filled away for now.

**my questions**

How do I get this ticket dismissed? It precludes any further recourse.

What sort of law firm do I need to contact? Accident injury firm won't cover me with the ticket, and won't help me fight it. So, someone who does *both* tickets and civil stuff to go after compensation.

What can I do to prepare? I know that in a courtroom, *preparation is everything*

How has your week been?

TL;DR: I was put at fault for an accident where the other guy ran a red at 25 over his speed limit. Other guy is apparently mr. Cellophane and officer is a noob. Press F to pay respects to my poor little car.

Answer:
 > How do I get this ticket dismissed?

You go to court, plead not guilty, and present your case to the judge and see what happens.

> It precludes any further recourse.

No it doesn't- the citation is unrelated to any civil action that could be brought.

You can get two different lawyers if you need to.  But have you actually talked to a lawyer about the lawsuit?  Or are you just guessing that's the case?


Title: Aggressive Driver Break Checked

Question: I was turning and turned in front of a car who had been far away yet going 60 in a 35. I guess I pissed him off because he then crossed the double yellow to get in front of me and braked in front of me hard and continued to drive. He then continued to swerve over the line and almost hit an oncoming truck that was honking at him to return to his lane. As I was memorizing his tag to call the police he slammed to a complete stop with no warning. I was 3 car lengths away but the sudden stop with no upcoming turns or signs or stops gave me no warning and I slid 25 feet into him when my brakes locked. I do not have a third party witness but I did have a passenger who overheard the guy tell me that he hit me on purpose. He also told the police he "slowed to a stop" because of a pothole and it is on the accident report that there are no defects or potholes in the road. I also have pictures. My insurance didn't even want to take my statement and has already paid for the legit scrap on the back of his car though I now have $1800 in damages to the crushed front of my car. I admitted no responsibility to the accident to my insurance and when I was given a ticket for following too closely I took it to court since I'm already paying $1800 for what he purposefully did to my car I wasn't going to pay a ticket for a wreck I did not cause. Since I pleaded not guilty the judge is making me take the 18 y/o driver to court. I don't know if I'll win but I would like some advice since I got screwed by this kid who was acting as a threat to society.

Answer: Three car lengths is too close at 35mph.


Title: (MD)What can I do with ex-bf's abandoned belongings?

Question: [deleted]

Answer:
 You have to handle it as abandoned property of a former tenant.  Nolo [has some guidance](http://www.nolo.com/legal-encyclopedia/handling-tenants-abandoned-property-maryland.html).

As a side note, you can ask for child support.


Title: No Heat In Denver

Question: Should I withhold rent if I have no heat? There has been no heat in my condo all winter. The problem is known but HOA can't seem to find the money to make repairs. It's Denver. It's winter. It's fucking cold!!!!!  Rent is $700 including utilities. ( a real find!) We have not had heat since mid October. I only paid $550 in December and $450 in January. And I do not want to pay ANYTHING in February. I am told that since the owner broke the lease by not providing heat, I should not have to pay rent until heat is no longer needed.

Answer: Check Colorado Revised statutes.  I lived in Colorado for a few years, they have pretty favorable landlord-tenant laws, favorable for tenants like you.  Lack of heat can sometimes be considered a "constructive eviction", which sometimes warrants withholding rent or breaking the lease, but I can't advise you to withhold.  Consult a local attorney(pm me and I might be able to point you in the right direction), run a Google search on "constructive eviction" and warranty of habitability in Colorado, plus there's probably some online tenant resources--non profit or government organizations that can give you a hand if you're not willing to pay a lawyer.  Goodluck.


Title: 72 hour notice of termination of tenancy, 2 weeks after trying to make a payment arrangement

Question:
I live in Oregon, and today is the 8th of August. I have been under the impression that my rent was due on the 5th of the month. Apparently it is due on the first. It had never been a problem that I paid on the 5th for the last couple months.

On the morning of July 29th I spoke to the property manager and told him that I had had a large vet bill this month so I would not be able to pay rent in full on time but that I could pay 2/3 of rent then the rest on the 21st, then pay in full on time again in September. He told me that no partial payments or payment plans were allowed so I would have to pay on the 21st. On the 5th I got a collection letter, which I thought was weird because rent wasn't even due until midnight (I thought) and I had never gotten a collection letter on the 5th before, but it said I had 3 days to pay and owed the late fee. I thought that it is okay, I can afford the late fee. Then today I got the 72-hour notice of termination of tenancy.  I don't know what to do. I tried to work with them and they know I can pay the full amount soon, just not soon enough apparently.

I had asked for a copy of my lease before I moved in, then again the day I moved, and a few days later but they never gave me a copy so I didn't realize that I have been paying rent late, or the penalties. I felt so pressured to go through the paperwork quickly as I was signing, especially since I expected to get a copy, she said she would put it under the door the day I signed.

Anyway, I just feel really cheated and like I got screwed over so I was hoping someone could help.

Answer:
 I realise this is coming after the fact, but you would have been far better to have paid your rent and used something like carecredit for the vet bill.

Anyway in Oregon you can indeed be given a 72 hour pay or quit notice, provided your rent is at least 7 days late, which I assume it now is.

In your position I'd be selling everything owned or borrowing from friends because I don't think you have much recourse here.

http://oregonlawhelp.org/resource/eviction-2?ref=iue0a


Title: Mother of my first child asking for more money monthly, threatening to take legal action for child support

Question:
I live in Texas, US.

I have two children and another on the way. The mother of my first child and i separated about 4 years ago. We have settled everything between each other up until now because we agreed that legal child support would be unnecessary.

I now live in a house which i purchased in May with my now wife and other child who is 1, as well as my first child every weekend. My now wife is pregnant with what will be our second (third including my first child). We bought the house because our two bedroom apartment was not enough space for our growing family. Due to unforeseen circumstances we are struggling financially. My ex came to me one night after my first daughter's school play and wanted to talk about me giving more money per month. Before this, we had agreed on $150 per month from me to help out, as well as splitting the day care costs($800/month) in half while she was in day care. However, my wife and i paid $200 because at the time we could afford to help out a little more, my ex never said anything about this. Also, we cover my first child on our insurance and her mother pays the copay when she goes to the doctor. She also claims her fully on her taxes.

We met up to speak and i told her that we could not afford to pay any more than $200 per month, as we purchased a home this year, have our 1 year old in day care, and have another on the way. (Not to mention, the one year old just came home from a hospital visit because a lung virus the day before that school play i mentioned....which i told my ex who obviously didn't care). Also, i just got a second job to try to stay above water with our medical bills. She said that this was not fair to her because she is only a one person income while i have my wife who helps me pay for everything and it's not her fault i decided to start another family. She is demanding more money or she will sue me for child support.

I am more than willing to help support my child but i already work two jobs and we have a very strict monthly budget that we follow and literally can not afford to give more than what we do already. I really don't want to have to sell our home. What is my best plan of action?

Answer:
 She has every right to go to court for child support and you can't stop her. In fact that may be in both your best interests, so you have an amount you owe you can budget for but the plus side is she can't just make demands whenever she wants to. (well she can make demands but they would have no teeth).

>  and it's not her fault i decided to start another family.

She's right, it's not. And it's not your child's fault either.Answer #2: >What is my best plan of action?

To get a child support agreement on paper through the family court system so that you're actually paying a fair amount (which you're currently not). Bluntly speaking, your mortgage, medical costs, and your one year old's health problems are not your ex's concern; caring for your daughter is your ex's concern, and to do that, she'll need more than $200 a month from you for your child's care. Answer #3: Your best course of action is to hope she doesn’t file for child support through the court system. Which would likely be way more than 150 a month. Answer #4: As you’re likely aware, she’s entitled to 20% of your pre tax income in TX.

Do the math, figure out what’s best for all involved.


Title: [CHICAGO IL] Can my company force me to sign up for benefits when I don't want them?

Question: [deleted]

Answer: Yes, they can require that you have coverage.


Title: Can I own my dads old police badges?

Question: My father is a retired police officer in California and has collected a bunch of commemorative badges over his almost 30 year career. He and my mom are planning on moving soon and are wanting to clean out some of their old things and downsize. One of these items is a locked picture frame that has several of these badges inside. Would it allowed for myself, also a California resident, to take ownership of this frame with his old badges inside? His badge number is retired and can never be used again unless he grants it to someone which he most likely will not.

Answer: As long as you don’t represent yourself as a cop and they were legally acquired you’re fine.Answer #2: Sure, as long as you don’t go around flashing them.


Title: Unknowingly sexting an underage minor:

Question:
I'm well aware of the common scam where the girl you're sexting with disappears and then her father starts calling and demanding money. I've had it happen before and I didn't fall for it.

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I know this isn't a scam, but I just wanted some advice on what to do in this situation.

&#x200B;

I'm 22 and recently was texting someone who I thought was 18. I don't think we ever talked about our ages, but she mentioned she was in her first year of college and so I think I assumed that she was 18. We came to an arrangement where I'd pay her for nudes. So I sent her money and she sent me nudes. Unfortunately, I sent it through PayPal who cancelled my payment without my knowledge. So she never got paid, despite it still coming out of my account.

&#x200B;

Now she's upset and threatening that if I don't pay her the amount that I owe soon that she's going to call the police because she's apparently 17.

&#x200B;

I'd gladly pay because obviously I owe her that, but I don't have the money right now, even though it's not a lot, just because of bills coming out right around this time. I can't really afford it for a couple more weeks maybe.

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I know this was a bunch of stupid decisions on my part, but I was wondering if this would actually be something pursued by police?

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Thanks.

Answer: This sounds like a new variant of the old scam


Title: Options for when an $300K USD crowdfunded product campaigner decides to quit and gives a fraction for a refund?

Question:
I contributed to a folding electric bike on Indiegogo about a year and a half ago for roughly $870 USD. Due to quality issues from the Chinese supplier, as well as the introduction of tarrifs, the campaigner decided to cancel the campaign and offer a nominal refund of only $142 -- and only for people who contacted them to arrange it. The cost of bike on the campaign ranged from $500 USD - $650 USD. Including shipping and upgrades the total could be around $900.

They did manage to get a shipment of bikes from the supplier on a container and sent to the USA. They started sending bikes to backers, but people found they did not have the upgrades they requested, were damaged, etc. Also around this time the 25% tarrifs on Chinese products kicked in. The person running this was new to all of this and took a lot of time to sort this through. They eventually decided they wanted to quit and removed all the information on the campaign page. They made an announcement and told people to email them regarding a refund. Their first announcement actually didn't say to contact them (only that they were folding), but after many upset comments they posted another update.

I understand that things don't always go as planned, and people may want to abandon things. However, don't they have some obligation to return a reasonable amount of funds to the backers? Or is it up to them to decide what to offer and only risk their reputation? Looking at the numbers - they collected over $300K USD from the campaign. They would have spent some money purchasing the product in bulk from China, and hiring a container ship - maybe the costs were $100K? That leaves $200 K they probably didn't spend since they didn't ship or purchase the product. Plus they likely have the existing products they purchased, but didn't send to backers. They could also sell this.

It's reasonable they could say they want to pay themselves a certain amount for their time over the past year. However, it seems they've taken the easiest route to call it quits while still having a large amount of unspent cash. They say they have "limited funds available" but aren't saying why or where all the money has gone.

The person used their real name to campaign, so I have links to their social media, Linked In, etc. What they are doing is unethical and could come back to damage their reputation and career, so there's that. I don't want to dox them out of spite, but they should know this is a crappy way to handle something that didn't work out as planned.

Are there any reasonable legal options or obligations here?

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Answer: Likely not. Caveat emptor.


Title: [OH] Coworkers are excessively flirty with each other, making our team uncomfortable. Sexual harassment?

Question:
Our policy says “any behavior that creates an offensive, intimidating or hostile work environment”.

Examples: He does a lot of her work. She mainly asks him questions about anything.  When she is on call, he takes tickets for her.  He gave her a flower and card for her support through his father’s death. They eat lunch together when they are in the office.  She is a “private” person otherwise and barely speaks to the rest of our team.  They will both disappear during the day-not at lunch.  He had a chance to move his cube last year and moved next to hers.  When the are together, they are giddy like children. When they are apart, they are quiet and reserved.

This is all distracting to the rest of us because they are constantly texting when the other is not present. He will cover up his phone if you walk by his cube.  It is also irritating because our team feels like she doesn’t do anything or when she does, she needs her hand held through the entire thing.

Our supervisor is very non-confrontational and does not seem to have done anything to curtail their behavior.

This would all be uncomfortable anyway, but her husband works in the same office, a few cubicles away.

Do we have grounds to take this to HR for sexual harassment?

Answer: It is not sexual harassment, but you can complain to HR.  They may tell them to knock it off at work


Title: My car got impounded

Question:
My brother gave me his old car. Only had it for 2 days. I got pulled over do to now  front license plate. Also dinged for no proof of insurance and registration. (Car is still under my brothers name and he has both of them). Also I dont have a driver's license. Had dui's and finished my fines and class. Just haven't gone to the dmv to get it renewed. Cop impounds the car and won't be able to get it out till 30 days. Please help me on what I can do next. Thank you
Topic:
Criminal Law

Answer: Ask your brother to get it out for you sooner. Since he's still the owner, he's the one who will be charged the fees anyway. You can then pay him back, take care of the tickets, get the title changed and new plates (if your brother doesn't know where the front one is), get your license renewed, and get it insured. Until that's all sorted you can't drive the car.


Title: Lowering college tuition

Question: I have just gotten back from a school event where the different divisions of the school "donated" gift cards, iPad minis, bikes, etc. Just eyeballing I would guess that all these items were at least 2k without knowing all details. These donated items had to eventually be paid for partially by my own tuition, and the school has many services and events that I will not use or attend while in school. I was wondering if it is possible for me to see exactly where my tuition goes and opt out of supporting certain aspects or departments of the school, and saving some money? If so how, if not-why, it seems logical that if I am paying a college $30k+ a year I can see where it goes. I am located in the U.S.

Answer:
 >I was wondering if it is possible for me to see exactly where my tuition goes and opt out of supporting certain aspects or departments of the school, and saving some money?

No.

>if not-why

Because they say so.


Title: In PA, does a non-biological father have any rights?

Question:
If the non-bio father was "tricked" (for lack of a better word) into thinking the child was his for 3 years, had 50% custody, and now mother asked for a paternity test and he's not the father.  Is there ANYTHING he can do?  It was his kid for 3 years, now nothing?  I find that hard to believe...  Even if there's nothing that can be done with custody, are there any criminal charges he could file?  Just seems like the scales are way tipped in the mom's favor and shouldn't be...  And I'm a woman/mother.

Topic:
Custody Divorce and Family

Answer:
 Did he accept paternity legally, either through adoption or at time of birth?  If so, then he's the legal father, regardless of biology, and he retains parental rights.Answer #2: It varies from state to state (and even from judge to judge), but, in general, the courts focus first and foremost on what will be best for the child. If he's been raising the kid for years, then very often, yes, the court will decide to grant him some custody, since keeping that relationship going will be in the child's best interest.

The flip side is that men in this situation are still sometimes called on to pay child support. That's the fuck of it -- it's both or neither.


Title: Car towed from private property 50km away, company wants over 1000 dollars for towing and impound fees.

Question:
We had a parking lot in our neighbourhood where a bunch of neighbours parked our cars overnight during the winter since we cannot park on the street. A few days ago 3 cars were towed over 50km away and impounded in a private lot. The lot is demanding 1000 dollars claiming to have a lein on my vehicle. I need my car for work and I do not have the money to pay this upfront. The lot is adding 75 dollars per day for storage fees, so this bill is getting increasingly bigger. My car is worth maybe 800 dollars...

Is this not extortion?

The tow company refuses to be reasonable, I cannot see a way out of this situation...They won't even let me near my vehicle so I can get my only pair of corrective glasses.

Please help, I live in Ontario, Canada.

Answer:
 >We had a parking lot in our neighbourhood where a bunch of neighbours parked our cars overnight during the winter since we cannot park on the street.

Well.... did you get the property owner's permission? This sounds like a bunch of neighbors parking on private property without permission and got towed because of it.

>Is this not extortion?

Not if that is the tow companies legitimate rates. If thats his rates for everyone and has always been like that you can't force him to change them.


Title: Dealership requesting me to buy back trade-in vehicle

Question:
This is in Texas.

I recently went to a dealership that sells used rental cars to finance a newer car. I put down $1000 cash and traded in my truck. The finance manager asked how much I was looking to get for the truck and I said I'd be okay with $1000. They inspected it on site and everything checked out. After all the paperwork was signed I left my truck and drove off in my new car.

Today I received a call from the finance guy telling  me that the truck I traded has a recall. The Takata airbag recall to be specific. He further informed me that due to their corporate policy, they were unable to accept the trade-in and that I would have to come back to the dealership and take my truck back, give them the $1000 that they agreed to accept for said truck and sell the truck on my own. Let me make it clear that I was completely unaware of any recalls on this vehicle as it was given to me as a gift. Furthermore, I had no intentions on trying to get more for the trade-in than I thought it was worth.

Later, I emailed the finance guy asking him what my obligations were and where in the contract that this stipulation was. I received a call about 30 minutes later from the store manager who repeated to me that this was a corporate policy. He said they don't roll this sort of agreement into the contracts of the cars they sell. I asked him why they were unable to resolve this issue before offering me a trade-in value of the $1000 and he said it might have been an oversight and because a lot of times their sales people are busy. The finance manager I was working with openly admitted he was working two deals at once while we were talking. The store manager, however did acknowledge that this was entirely their fault.

I went ahead and called the bank that financed the deal. They were able to inform me that they sent to bank note the same day that it was requested and I have responsibility of the loan.

Here's where I'm at: take the truck back and give them $1000 and try to sell it on my own, or unwind the deal.

My first impression of this is they aren't able to get the money for the trade-in that they paid for. Have any of you heard of such a policy that prevents a dealer from selling a vehicle with a safety recall?

I'm wondering if they're full of shit and trying to get more money or if they actually have a leg to stand on. Thanks for any advice on this.

Answer:
 Ignore them. But read your paperwork to ale 100% sure you can ignore them.

Smells very fishy to me.


Title: My neighbor is starting heavy house renovation work and I’m 25 weeks pregnant

Question:
 We rencently moved to SF, CA from Europe and we learnt a couple of days ago that our immediate neighbor (our walls literally touch) is planning on performing heavy renovation works, including earthquake proofing his house foundation. The construction works are set to start this week and are expected to last until March 2019. This is especially bad news because of the timing. I’m on my sixth month of pregnancy and spend a large portion of my day at home. I am afraid that the noise levels might be too high for a growing fetus (besides for my sanity)! Even worse, I’m terrified that it will completely unmanageable with a newborn. Is there anything I can do besides move?

Thank you in advance.

Answer: As long as your neighbor follows local noise laws and only works during legally approved hours, there is nothing you can do. He shouldn't have to delay his renovation because his neighbor is pregnant and/or has a newborn.


Title: False statement on 5150 report to police - California

Question: Approximately 10 days ago I woke up to 4 uniformed police officers pounding on my windows and door with no clue why. When I opened the door they restrained me, entered my premises without my permission, began looking around and asking questions about various items around my apartment. Just prior to being handcuffed, I was told that I had "threatened suicide" in an email. When I said that I had not, and that I was fine, they responded that they felt there was "probable cause". I was then paraded out in handcuffs in front of my neighbors into a squad car and taken to the county EPS ward under a 5150 order where I was held in noisy, threatening, unsanitary conditions (fruit fly infestation), without any access to edible food, a bed, or my required medications for the next 26 hours while waiting for a county psychiatrist to "evaluate" me upon which I was declared sane and sent home with the bill. Turns out the source of this abrupt suspension of my Constitutional rights was an email I had sent to my former primary care physician after I was forced to fire her for not helping me to get the referrals and prescriptions necessary to treat a chronic neurological condition I suffer from. The email was part of a thread and a continuation of a in-office conversation we had where I explained to her that while I have access to the medication I need for now, if I ever lose access or fail to find a physician who will treat my condition my quality of life will degrade and I will be at risk of suicide. My former PCP knew that I was not depressed or suicidal in any way, yet she filled out a 5150 reporting form and stated on it that I "was threatening suicide". The word "suicide" in the email was taken completely out of context. There was no plan, no specifics, no history communicated to the police. Any reasonable person with high school level English who reads the email would not see any immediate cause for concern. My former PCP maliciously submitted a 5150 form to the police with information purposefully omitted which caused me a de-facto arrest and detainment without due process for more that a day. Do I have a civil suit in this case, and if so, what are my chances of finding a lawyer who will take such a case?

Answer:
 >The email was part of a thread and a continuation of a in-office conversation we had where I explained to her that while I have access to the medication I need for now, if I ever lose access or fail to find a physician who will treat my condition my quality of life will degrade and I will be at risk of suicide.

see, from a bystander's standpoint, this kind of makes you sound like a drug seeker threatening to harm yourself if you are not given these medications on demand. your doctor has an ethical responsibility for your wellbeing, and frankly, if i ever received an email like that i'd be concerned with your personal safety as well.


Title: [Mass] Traffic stop from 23 years ago that say citation / tickets were issued, that never happened.

Question:
I was attempting to renew my license in CT and was refused due to what I was told were ''Unpaid Fines'' in Mass.  I had no idea what this could be, so after many emails I was sent a copy of what they said were the outstanding infractions.  In the info they sent me it also stated I missed court dates, but I never received anything in the mail about this at my old address when I lived at home.

These included

* ----Operator Unlicensed (Clerk told me it was noted that my license was Suspended at the time of the stop)
* ----Improper Equipment (Clerk said it was for 'Headlight')

Then I remembered.   I was on my way home 23 years ago and going through a small town in Massachusetts.  I was in fact stopped, I don't deny this, but the Officer seemed concerned with shoving his flashlight in my face, where I was going, and if I had been drinking or had drugs/weapons in the car.  Not that it should matter, but my car at the time was geared out with tints and deep dish rims etc.

I remember the stop because I did ask why I was pulled over and the Officer told me one of my headlights was out.  It was about 3 AM, and from the drivers seat could tell my lights were fine.  The officer was one of those ''I'll ask the questions'' type, I was young, so I just sat there while he ran my info.

He returned my license, registration,  and  insurance,  said something like 'get that fixed' and I went on my way.  I did pull over in a gas station later and found that both my lights were indeed working properly.

Now 23 years later this town wants me to drive 5 hours one way to appear in court, because they say I have a outstanding warrant in my name, and this warrant will show up if I'm pulled over in any state I'm driving.

This is the info I was able to gather so far.

-----First off, my license has never in my life been suspended.  That is something you remember dealing with and I didn't have any speeding, parking, or DUI infractions / tickets, ever.    Even if it was, isn't it standard to tow the car and give a summons to the driver?  That never happened.

----According to the Clerk, the citations they have on file don't have my signature on them. (Of course they don't)

----I asked the Clerk why I never received anything in the mail. She stated that there is no evidence in the file that the citations were mailed to me.

----I went to the CT DMV and paid for a copy of my "Drivers History" that they told me would show any violations / suspensions and such, and it was clean.

I don't want to hire a lawyer to show up for 5 minutes, so is this something I can and should handle myself?

Is my Driving History from CT DMV all I need to get these bulls*it charges dismissed?

Am I within my right to refuse to pay court fees?

Is there anything else I need to do to resolve this?

Anything I should do before making this trip?

Answer:
 I would just show up. The chances of the officer showing up are low since he's likely retired. The chances of him being able to independently remember one traffic stop from 23 years ago out of the thousands he did since then is effectively zero.

You can hire a lawyer to appear for you as well. The cost benefit is something only you can decide.


Title: Psychotic episodes for 16 months due to medication Dexamphetamine Sulphate, believed I was chosen from higher beings, criminal record shoplifting.

Question:
I moved to Sussex, UK a couple of years ago. The reason for this email is to attempt to get help/aid/justice for crimes I committed while psychotic on prescribed stimulant drugs.

After being diagnosed with ADD a couple of years ago, I was immediately advised to take drugs. 8 Months later, I was moving towns in an attempt to pursue my dreams, given a bag full of dexamphetamine sulphate which lasted another 8 months. Shortly after the move, I was discharged from the NHS services as I no longer lived near the clinic (fair enough). I was told my new GP was to refer me to a local ADD clinic. Which meant I was alone for months, with drugs I didn't understand, upping my dosage every 2 weeks as advised.

During this time - and ever since I started the medication - I was experiencing psychotic episodes, grandiose beliefs and delusions. But, I was completely oblivious the drugs were having any effect on me whatsoever. I imagined if I hit the right dosage, the parts of my brain that are impaired, would come alive like plugging in a section of rides at a carnival. Because I wasn't experiencing this, I genuinely didn't notice any changes, telling doctors 'they are not doing anything'.

Below are a few examples of what I was experiencing, episodes were usually triggered by relief or stress, lasting somewhere between 1-4 hours at a time: -

•Believing I was the chosen one from higher beings, here to fix and revolutionise the planet - I was untouchable, invincible and the ultimate power. I could do things that were impossible like walk through cars, jump over buildings and outrun trains. I believed these beings could only communicate through physical signs, which I followed.
•Believing my best friend was tapped by the police and plotting to kill me.
•Skateboarding about town for hours talking to lights in the sky, believing higher beings were revealing themselves to me.

By the time I figured out my behaviour rooted from the medication, I had already reluctantly accepted a caution for 7 accounts of shoplifting. The items I took were bath ducks, spongy orange balls, glue gun sticks, a kite, butter, oils and a whole array of low valued items.

I have already sought out advice from solicitors and the MIND charity however, ultimately ending unsuccessfully. I was told by solicitors that I can’t blame medication for the effects of my behaviour and I must prove I had 0% intent in shoplifting. Also by bringing this back up, I would be playing another game of roulette, the police could punish me further convicting me of crimes.

Anyway, I’m stuck with the constant trauma of what happened, a corrupt future due to the criminal records and it seems myself and NHS medical professionals believe it’s completely unjustified.

Its been nearly 2 years since the incident, my friends call me a thief, my family are awkward around me, and i'm still struggling because I fix things, but I cant fix this.

Answer:
 Oh wow.....where to start....

First thing first.  You are posting on a public forum...not sending an email.

Secondly.  Since you state your location is in the UK, you might have better luck in /r/legaladviceuk

And lastly, but not leastly (and not really lastly, but the last point I will make), you don't actually ask a legal advice question.  If you ask a specific question, maybe we can offer advice.


Title: Annoying neighbor who lets his car run constantly. At my wits end. Any advice is appreciated.

Question:
  This is a follow up to a thread I made a while back, here on the cars subreddit: [https://www.reddit.com/r/cars/comments/9aahj5/is\_there\_any\_logical\_reason\_for\_someone\_to\_let/](https://www.reddit.com/r/cars/comments/9aahj5/is_there_any_logical_reason_for_someone_to_let/)

I made this post on the cars subreddit as a follow up, but it was auto deleted, asking me to post it here. So here I go.

So basically to recap: I have a very  annoying neighbor who lets his cars run constantly. They are all  Mitsubishi Eclipses. I'm not that knowledgeable about cars, so I don't  know why, but his cars run super loud. My house has terrible sound  insulation and when he lets his cars run for usually anywhere between 30  minutes to an hour and a half, it gives me a migraine and vibrates the  walls. Maybe he has a muffler? I'm really not sure. But it's the only  car on the street I can hear running, most are family cars, very quiet,  and his cars are parked right outside one of my windows, so when I  sleep, it's literally mere feet away. He will come outside, start the  car, then go back inside and just let it run. Then he'll come out later  and turn it off and go back inside. Most of the time he does this, but  sometimes he will actually drive it(he barely leaves the house, I don't  think he works or has a job, but can't be sure). But even if he takes it  somewhere, he lets it run at a minumum of 20 minutes before he goes  anywhere. This is a constant theme. Every single day, at various times  of the day(sometimes several times in a single day) he lets the car run.  The car runs more with him not in it than it does with him driving it.  As you guys greatly helped me in my previous post, there is no logical  reason for him to do this.

Since  I made this thread, I decided not to take any illegal actions like  putting something in his tail pipe or messing with his car or whatever. I  decided to try again and talk with him. One day I had enough of it, it  was in the winter and it was on a Sunday and I was sleeping and at 7 am  he started it and I couldn't go back to sleep and after 2 hours of it  running, I knocked on his door and asked him why he's doing this and if  he can turn the car off. He said he needs to let it run "or the engine  will crack" from the cold. I wasn't about to get into an argument with  him, and I was tired like a zombie so I just asked if he'd shut it off  and he told me he would in a bit(he did a half an hour later).

Since  then we had a couple more confrontations. He clearly wasn't going to  stop, so I called the police several times. They've done nothing. I've  called about 6 times and of the 6 they've only came once and then left  shortly after and then he just went back to doing it again. Called the  local precinct to ask someone working there and they said there's  nothing they can really do if the cops who are assigned to the call  don't do anything or if they don't catch him in the act, because he's  not breaking any serious laws.

I'm  losing sleep over this, it's giving me migraines, and today we finally  had a blow up. I was feeling like crap all day and decided to take a nap  and right as I go to drift off he starts the car. 15 minutes.. 20  minutes... 30 minutes. Finally I had enough. I walk outside and scream  at the top of my lungs "CAN YOU PLEASE TURN THAT FUCKING CAR  OFF????????" and he bursts out the door screaming expletives back at me,  then gets in his car and starts revving his engine super loud to spite  me for about 15 minutes. Then a couple other neighbors come out of the  house to see what's going on and I hear him saying to them that he's  tire of me hounding him and I need to let him do his thing with his  cars.

Any advice of me not breaking the law is welcome. I'm honestly thinking of moving.

Answer:
 Your first step should be escalating with the police. Call the non emergency number and ask to speak with the watch commander. Be calm and polite, but outline that it's pretty much a constant thing and ask them to take some action to stop it.Answer #2: Does your city have a bylaw regarding the idling of vehicles ?

Don’t know ? Call them and ask.


Title: My Aunt was verbally and emotionally abusive, but is anything she did to me illegal?

Question:
So, i live In Tennessee. (Is just the state ok, or should i give a city/county as well?)

Hey, i need some advice, my aunt was very emotionally and verbally abusive. I think she has narcissistic personality disorder. This is a list of everything she has done to me. And i want to know, is there anything on this list she did Illegal? Is there anything i can do about this?

So, for context, i got injured a few months ago, and because of that, I was living with my aunt. It was suggested i stay with her because she doesn't work (she receives military benefits, after her husband passed away while deployed). Which is why they wanted me to stay with her, since she's home all day. She was widowed about 8 years ago. (I don't remember much of her husband, but i remember he was a soldier in the army, he was a pretty nice person from what i remember though. Anyway, they had to move to another state due to him being stationed there. That's why i haven't got many memories of him, just when they'd visit. They had 2 kids together, a boy and a girl. I know They seemed like a happy couple for a while, but after a few years, they argued a lot. I'm not sure why, though. I know they were on the brink of divorce, i heard from my dad it was because whenever he wasn't deployed, he'd either sleep all day, or hung out with his friends a lot and was never home. I'm not 100% positive though. )

But, they didn't actually divorce. While he was deployed, and during this time she had cheated on him with another man. I'm not completely positive of the details, but while he was deployed she had an affair and got pregnant. I don't think he knew about the affair. (Again, it's none of my business and i'm kind fuzzy on the details). But yeah, she cheated on her husband while he was overseas, and got pregnant from the encount

She moved back with my dad after that. Her husband unfortunately passed away in an accident (him and 2 other soldiers were in a black hawk helicopter, which malfunctioned while mid-flight.). So, she has 3 kids now.

But, i think because of insurance or something, i don't know, but her and her family recieve benefits because of the accident, except the 3rd son from the affair. (the kids themselves get health insurance, college tuition, and $50,000 for them in the bank when they turn 18. My aunt however, gets a monthly check, for like 5 grand a month or something.)

She was really just a pain in the backside to deal with, that was until i had to live with her. For about 4 months, she used and abused a serious injury i had for her own benefit. Now, i had a bad knee injury, i was stuck in a wheelchair and using a walker. My family thought it would be best to stay with her, since she's a "Nurse". Not really a nurse, she took a medical class one time 15 years ago, and claims herself to be a nurse. She's the kind of person who holds herself to a higher standard, bit of a know-it-all. She is also bipolar and has a really bad anger problem. Everyone in my family knows this, but they still wanted me to live with her.

I didn't want to live with her because, honestly, I believe that she's is not a good person, and is honestly quite toxic. I have my reasons, and i'll detail them at the bottom, after i tell how horrible and verbally abusive she was to me. I knew it would happen, but i just thought i would stick it out and deal with it. I hoped it wouldn't be so bad.

Now, for the first few weeks, it was normal. But, after a while she started to show her true colors. There was Lot's of abuse, quite a few examples, nothing physical, but quite a lot of verbal and emotional abuse and even some threats of violence but she never laid a hand on me, . I have compiled an entire list, in chronological order. However, i will also include some things from my past as well, before this injury incident.

I continuously tried to tell my family, but they'd never care, sometimes they'd tell her to quit doing it, but all that did was make her even more mad. She'd get mad at me for telling my family how she was treating me. She'd yell whenever i would tell (always when we were alone, never when family was over). She'd literally wait, and as soon as she saw their car leave, that's when the yelling would start. At least with my dad, who they both share an unstable relationship. But, she would yell at me in front of my grandmother. Who was very non-confrontational and timid. I told her to tell my dad, but she never did. I kept telling them, but my aunt would always accuse me of lying to them. She'd tell them i was lying, and they'd always believe her. Eventually my family stopped listening.

Now, keep in mind for this next point, i've always had a bit of a weight problem, i'm only 285 pounds. She used to always make fun of me for being overweight. Always. She'd make various comments about it. Plus, she'd make me wear a shirt in her pool (the only person she made do that) because "no one wants to see your man-boobs." So while i was living there, she constantly made me watch My 600 Pound life, everyday. She'd make me turn off my phone and stare at the screen, and would shout at me if i so much as looked away. "That's gonna be you some day" She would tell me nearly every 5 minutes. Not to mention, recently, she secretly tried to sign me up for weight loss surgery. Without my knowledge. Without my consent. She's always hurled a lot of insults around actually, She's also called me retarted on multiple times. (She even calls her 8 year old son, who has a learning disabilty retarted)

She's also fond of browbeating me. She'd constantly ask "Don't you care about you appearance?" or make rude remarks about the way i looked and dressed. She actually has a fairly strict dress code for her kids. She makes the boys have buzz cutted hair, and only buys them "nice clothes", i swear that the boys only get to wear polo and slacks. My personal look is slightly different. I have a large collection of graphic T-Shirts (concerts, anime, wrestling, Jokes) and i always wear shorts, athletic elastic shorts. She always says "Lose some of that weight and you could wear some actual normal clothes." But, i hate dressing like that, i like to dress casually. I also have somewhat "unkempt" hair in general, it grows fast and sticks up a bit on it's own. She took me to get my haircut, i told the barber to take a bit off the top, making it shorter. But, she flat out shouted at her to cut it as short as they could (not buzzed, but fairly close).

Another thing, with my injury, i had to get surgery. Of course, they gave me some really strong painkillers. hydrocodones, i got a bottle of 30. I rarely took them though since they'd make me a little loopy and very tired. I only really took a few of them, and that was right after my surgery, i only took about 8 over a 5 day period. But, even though i wasn't taking them...somehow the bottle was empty when it was time for my monthly appointment. Even though i only took a couple of them. And to make it worse, when i went to the doctor, she kept pushing me to ask for more pills. Later, i found out she was taking them herself and actually selling them as well.

Plus, she constantly shames me for choosing to go to community college. Both my parents are poor, so i can't afford to go to a university, plus i never really wanted to go a university. Because i was supposed to be "The Smart CHild". Because my cousin (not her son, a child of my other aunt) goes to a university. She said i was supposed to "Do Better" for myself. Of course, i quit college to pursue my dream anyway, so it doesn't matter.

But the worst part, was the yelling. The yelling was horrible. For a bit, she'd only yell at her kids and not me. I thought she'd have the common decency, that you don't yell at children who aren't yours. But, i guess not.

This was the very first time she ever yelled at me during my stay. Some mornings, she'd go out and get McDonald's breakfast when she didn't have time to cook. The whole time, i had gotten bacon. One night, i was about to go to bed, and she wasn't there, she was at a ball game for her son, but my dad was. Before he left, i told him if he saw her to tell her i'd rather have chicken from now on. Because i wanted to go to bed before she got home. The next morning, my grandmother came to take me to physical therapy. Soon as i got up, she just started screaming. SHe was calling me ungrateful, asking why i couldn't tell her about my preference, then said i was going behind her back, i tried to explain that i was going to bed, but she just did not want to listen. She said a lot of stuff actually, in front of my grandmother because she knows my grandmother is very timid and won't confront her. I told her to tell my dad, i thought that would be the end, my last night living there. But no. No one ever said anything to her. I had never felt more on my own in my life. My mom was at that appointment, i told her how bad it was (i wanted my grandma to tell my dad since he lives close and could actually do something, but mom lives pretty far away, in another county, And i just felt i had to tell her). I told her, she was absolutely horrified. My grandmother was actually defending her "Oh, she's just a little highly strung. I'm sure your just exaggerating." Mom told me she'd try to get me out. But, she made a mistake, she called my aunt beforehand, and asked about it. My aunt has a really bad habit of outright lying to protect herself. She told her a bunch of lies about me, outrageous stuff to. SHe believed her, and that was it. I couldn't depend on mom for help anymore. My aunt sounded so nice on the phone with mom, but as soon as she hung up, she started screaming at me. It continued like this for a long time.

But yeah, it was horrible. She'd get mad over all sorts of petty stuff, like accidentally dropping stoff and forgetting to pick it up (like shampoo bottles). "Just because your mama lets you treat her house like shit doesn't mean you can come fuck up my house!" or leavign the light on by accident. But, a big thing was her couch...a couch she's had for a few years. I sat in it, because you know, i was injured and couldn't really get around much. She has 2 couches in her living room, one i usually sat on and her's. I sat on that one because it was a little more firm and easier to stand up from. THe other one was very soft and sunk down a lot, making it tough to get up from.

Then, one day she started screaming at me, that there was a hole sinking in it from where i sat on it so much. Even though, i looked at it myself and there wasn't a hole at all. When my dad came over, i asked him if the couch looked like it had sunk down, i asked him just out of the blue if there was a hole, and he said no. Anyway, after my lecture, the next day i tried to be good and sit on the other couch. You know what she told me? "Sit on the other couch, i'm going to take a nap before i pick up the kids", i couldn't win for losing, i swear.

Plus whenever she gets in one of her moods, she'd just go on forever (not joking, she literally screamed at me for almost 15 minutes over a sandwich.) Th. I felt like i was in a prison, i told my dad, but he never really tried to confront her or anything. He never tried to get me out or anything. Not to mention, any time she'd yell, she'd always finish with "Yeah, go cry to your mama. I know how you are."

She also forced me to sign up for food stamps (against my own will) because "Your fat ass needs to contribute." It's funny, she had been asking me, i told her i didn't think i could, because i was still on Mom's plan, because i'd lived with her. (Mom didn't take me off when i moved with my aunt, because she assumed it would be for a week or 2, not 3 months. So yeah, she told me to get in the car. And i filled out everything. (Though i couldn't actually receive any food stamp money until 2 months had passed. I can't remember why, something about how the pay period had already passed for next month, i can't remember. I was too busy fuming from being forced to sign up for government assistance against my own will. I never got to use it anyway. She'd always "Borrow" my card to buy junk food. I think she only did that so she could blow her money on crap (she has a MAJOR spending problem).

I Just wanted to call the police or something, but i didn't know what to do. I didn't think it would help. I just bared with it for about 3 months. Because she was kind of a "Golden Child", the family just adores her. So if i got her arrested, they'd never forgive me.

Thankfully, i did get out. My grandmother took me to therapy one day, and once my appointment was over, she went to take me to my aunt's house, but she wasn't home, she was taking her older son for chinese food. So, my grandmother took me to her house (also living their are my dad, and my grandpa). I told them that i didn't want to live with my aunt anymore, and that was it. WHile i was with them, i had my dad go over and take my things and tell her i no longer wished to reside there. Right? Wrong.

After telling my family what happened, i half expected her to get chewed out by my dad, and grandpa. But no, no one did or said anything to her. But at least i was safe, right?

No, actually. She came over and visited the house quite often. I ignored her, never looked at her or anything. She told my grandpa that i only left her house because i didn't want to exercise, which isn't true at all. My dad took me to a walking trail everyday, not her, and he still did when i moved. The reason i left was because she was a complete psychopath. But, she's that kind of person who can't blame herself for her own problems.

Then one day, she came over while my family were gone, so i was alone. Except for my other aunt, who will not stand up to her either. The worst time she yelled at me was when my grandmother invited my mom for Thanksgiving. My mom didn't really have anything to do for Thanksgiving, My grandma thought it would be nice to invite her to spend it with my dad's side of the family. I was a bit worried about it, since my parents didn't really get along, they aren't as hostile but are not friends. They'll talk to each other here and now, if they have to.

Now, my family aren't particularly fond of my mom, but when i brought it up, they all seemed ok about it. Not excited, but willing to accept (since i hadn't seen mom in quite a while at this time). I thought it would be ok, that was until my aunt found out. Keep in mind, i didn't ask her because of the tension with her and my family, but my grandmother insisted. So, about a week or so before thanksgiving, my aunt came over. She just asked about her coming, i told her i didn't invite her, but it was somehow my fault. Because "i need to think of my dad", even though he seemed ok with it. She went on a long winded rant about how horrible mom is, i tried to tell her it wasn't my idea. Then she starts yelling at me, i don't even know what set her off, but she started insulting me, she said i was nasty, called me a fatass, nasty, ungrateful, spoiled, quite a lot of things. I "gray rocked" her, which is essentially just ignoring someone, which didn't help much. Sheeven made up stuff like how i NEVER walked up there and wiped shit on her walls. she also said i was faking my injury and would be hurt again in a month.

She threatened to flip my chair over, raised her hand to me and got right in my face and threatened to hit me. I pulled my phone out, i was going to record her and send it to the police. She snatched it out of my hand and threw it on the ground (it didn't break, but still).

She also said "just because you don't have nice things where you live doesn't mean you cam tear up my stuff " i told her we are well taken care of and do have nice things.

"All your clothes are from goodwill and smell like piss"

My other aunt heard the whole thing, i told her to call the police, but she said there was nothing she did was wrong. It's only illegal if she actually hit me, which she didn't hit me but threatened to. So, i didn't call them.

Even worse though, i told my dad, he said he'd talk to her, but he never did. He never confronted her or anything, and eventually everyone forgot about it.

i remember my other aunt mentioned she was mumbling to herself that we didn't go to her house for thanksgiving "has nothing to do with him for 10 years, and he still defend the little bastard" and "my kids don't act like that"

Which is just not true, I can't count the number of times she's had to go to school because of their behavior.

Even after everything, no one cares, they still like her and let her come over. She hasn't gone into any rages like that since, but she still makes rude comments constantly about me.

And to be honest, it's not just me, i'm not the only person who's dealt with her, if she doesn't get her way, she goes into a tyrade, and to be honest, she's kind of a bad person in general.

Recently, she was kicked out of her apartment, because her and her kids completely trashed it. I'm serious, there were drawings on the wall, holes in the wall, and worse. So, he promptly kicked her out and sued her for damages. The case hasn't been resolved yet, but recently she was bragging that the judge would let her off because she's a single mother and because of sympathy. That's literally her only justification.

Because of that, she moved into my other aunt's trailer. She was supposed to pay 400 dollars to her sister a month for living there. But, no, she pitched a fit again, and now my sister lets her live there for free. Her only justification? Well, 10 years ago, my other sister lived with her and didn't pay rent then. That's it.

She's kind of racist as well, and makes no effort to hide it. There's a coach on her son's little league team, who happens to be black. And whenever she mentions him, she never refers to him by name (his name's Ben, by the way), just as That 'N word'. It gets worse though, one time, the other coach was telling her that Ben wanted her to talk to her son because he is very aggressive and violent with other kids on the team. She responded with "Why should i care what that spearchucker thinks?", Also, there was a time that her older son was on the football team his freshman year, and they were making him pick up the balls that player's dropped during practice, and things like that, which she refers to as N-word work. Also, if she ever has to pick up after somebody, she always get's mad, and says "I'm tired of feeling like y'all's N-word!")

Recently, there was an incident with my grandfather's farm hand (he owns a farm, he hired this guy to help, since my grandfather is kind of old and sick and just can't take care of it anymore). Real nice kid, and when my aunt was moving, she asked him to help her move. She paid him and he showed up to help. However, she went out all day, and it was almost 9 in the evening, he went home after waiting on her all evening. and SHe was mad at him because he went home with her money (she paid him in advance).

Also, her 8 year old son is violent and very ill tempered. And, she irresponsibly buys him knives and guns.(He's actually threatened to kill my sister in her sleep before). Her new boyfriend takes him out in the yard to shoot, and he walks around the house with them. He actually has easy access to the guns, they are not locked up or anything. Just about a week ago, my aunt was talking to her friend and he got out one of their guns and was parading around the house with it. Another big deal is she doesn't bother to teach him any safety tips. The guns are loaded and he was walking around with his finger on the trigger. (Which if you know about gun safety is a BIG NO-NO, it is like rule number 1. Never touch the trigger until you are ready to shoot.) She doesn't realize that a kid with that much anger management issues having easy access to a gun is a bad idea.

One time, my dad bought a car, it was an expensive car, and he had been paying monthly on it for about 3 years or so. And, she didn't have a car (she didn't pay the bills) so they repossessed it, and my dad let her borrow his car. She never paid any payments on it, even though she drove it all over the city. Plus, her kids tore up one of the seats. They tore up the motor in it because they were messing with it, moving it back and forth, now it's stuck right up against the dashboard, and nobody can actually sit there now. Plus, there's marker all over the car too.

She lets her son drive alone, across town, even when he was 14. And she lets her 7 year old drive and steer.

She also has a bad habit of encouraging violence. She was praising her son for breaking another boy's hand at a football game (is that really something to be proud of?). Also, her younger son was left on the side during a football game. She was so mad, that she told her son to beat up the coach's "Little Fag" on the field (the coach made his son the quarterback).

Another thing i can't stand, is she constantly bad mouths my mom, anytime i mention her name. She hates her, because she cheated on my dad. Which is understandable, she says my mom is a horrible person because she cheated on my dad. (I find it a tad hypoctitical, because she cheated on her husband as well. Her deployed husband. I don't justify cheating, but i also hate hypocrisy.I would've called her on it, but she gets even madder when you bring up her affair. Not too mention, whenever she's around my mom, she's nice as can be. Gotta put the mask on, i guess. Another thing, she's been lying to her younger son, that her husband is his father. Her older son doesn't like it, but i don't think he's called her on it either. Keep in mind, the younger son never met her husband because he passed away before he was born.

Also, when me and my sister lived with my mom (i was about 16), mom claimed us on her taxes because we lived with her full time. Our dad had been claiming us, even though we didn't live with him. But, mom did it ONE time. The first time she did, my aunt left a LOT of comments on mom's facebook. Flat out insulting her, her friends, and everything. Even though it's none of her business. Stuff that's not even REMOTELY true.

I actually posted screencaps, if you wish to see them. I blurred out the name's and anything identifying. But, my mom's comments are covered in black, my aunt's are in red. And anyone else's comments (like mom's friends, of which there are quite a few) are in Blue. (https://imgur.com/a/xlhxPpG)

I wish i could just ignore her, but she lives literally on the same property (we live in a trailer, and have a fairly large property, she lives in a trailer that's about 15-20 feet away from ours. And she's always coming to do laundry at our house.

So, what do you think? Is there any assistance i can get for this?

Answer: If you would like more responses to this post, you need to delete 97% of it. Maybe a bullet-point list of things you guess might be illegal instead of such lengthy exposition?