Title: Township wants to expand road: Right of Way

Question:
This will be more of a short post. The township wants to expand a road to help with a dangerous intersection. They basically want to take a small corer of the property, and potentially part of the front section all the way up to the driveway. Personally, I don't think expanding the road will help as the sight lines are more so affect by the fact that the main road has a hill with a slight turn, even expanded, the slight lines won't change. The representatives did mention that if this first solution would not work, they'll come back and basically level the hill (again, makes me wonder about the fiscal responsibility at play in regards to demolishing previously completed work to redo a job, but that's a tangent) That being said, the house on the property is from 1790... the stone wall has been around since at least the 1940s and most likely way earlier, which would make it fall under historic in nature, but to find out I would most likely have to talk to the historic preservation office of the state (NJ).

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Any suggestions on what I should do if the Township wants to talk about this further? My main concerns are:

1) taking some property for right of way usage (I know that there should be compensation for that, usually the difference in Land/Property Value due to the diminished portion of land)

2) Since the wall would be removed and from what initially the two representatives have states,, would be redone, I want to make sure the whole wall gets done rather than just the section by the road since it does wrap around into the driveway a bit and includes stairs. there would be no way to properly match a new wall to the old wall (it also makes me wonder about codes and standards that might affect the wall, the stairs, and also the grandfathered driveway since it most likely does not meet current regulations in terms of sight lines and safety, so it makes me wonder if any changes to the property like this might lead to other regulatory issues)

3) if they expand the road, they would also cut down all the trees lining the front of the house: we're talking about oak tree and like 8 yellow pine trees, probably 80 ft high, all of which would affect the aesthetics and appeal of the property, as well as privacy and noise dampening that the trees provided.

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I work in Emergency Management on the federal level, and have assessed road projects before, hence why a couple of these thoughts popped up in my head. I would greatly appreciate other people's insights though since I always prefer first hand experiences and the reality of such situations rather than just what I research!

Answer:
 Been there. Politics. Talk to you city or county council. It’s your best shot. Getting other people supporting your position may actually work. Other than that you would be looking at legal action which is very expensive.

Local representatives sometimes jump on issues like the for the exposure and can get way more done than a single constituents. Answer #2: It sounds like you have some good arguments of why this should not happen. It couldn't hurt to attend a town meeting and present your information. If you feel your property would lose value due to this, that is also a legitimate point to bring up.


Title: [Virginia] Are we impatient, are we being discriminated against, or is the process just slow?

Question:
I'm going to skip over where I tell you I'm going to be brief, because I'm not. In order to really get a feel for whether or not we should be preparing to contact a lawyer/burn some bridges, I feel like you all should know what's happened so far.

So here we go.

My wife and I are approved foster parents in Virginia. We are working directly with the city CPS department, not an agency. Agencies in our area are either religious and not-so-friendly to LGBT couples or only do older kids, which we aren't ready for yet.

We are 26 and 27, own our home, have 2 cars, good salaries, college educations, and absolutely blank background checks. We haven't even gotten a speeding ticket in 5 years.

We are available for 2 kids, either gender, any race, from ages 0 to 12-years-old. Previously, we were strict on short-term placements (~2 weeks) but recently changed our minds to open ourselves to longer placements (up to 2 months) and voiced this *in writing* to our social worker and her supervisor in hopes of getting a placement more quickly. We are considering going to the full "indefinite" timeline, but we are concerned about doing that when communication is piss-poor.

We are working with a very large city, about 400,000 living in the city limits, with very large populations of at-risk families. The department stated in April, that they only had 55 approved homes and only a fraction of those were "open" (ie. they had a bed available). But many of those homes are foster-to-adopt only and we are not. We are a pretty open home and we've had 0 phone calls. There have been kids coming into care, we just aren't getting called for them.

* Started training in February, finished in March.

* First of 4 (supposed to be 3) home visits March 14th handed in all required paperwork (that we were aware of) and begin discussions of us being interested in emergency care, since respite wasn't an option.

* Next home visit April 6th, told that we were not given CPS forms for our past state and our current. We fill out the in-state, we were not provided the out-of-state.

* Third home visit April 27th. No update on our paperwork, background checks, CPS forms, or home study at that point.

* Out-of-state CPS form finally provided May 8th via email, no idea what the delay was. We sign and return within 2 days.

* Out-of-state form returns June 22, clean.

* 4th visit on July 5th. No update for us. Still no daycare list. During the visit, I am asked to send her a reminder email 2 weeks after the visit to remind her to check into a daycare we picked (one of the 5 branches was licensed, but not the one close to us).

* Requested email sent July 20th. No response. 10 weeks go by.

* Follow-up email sent September 7th. "Miraculously" our in-state forms came back and she "thought about calling us" about it. We have been waiting on these forms for months, no idea when they actually came in. No progress on home study or daycare. We are told we are legally "approved" for placements because the legal stuff is done.

* Call/voicemail and follow-up email sent on September 25th with some questions.

* Response via phone on September 27th. I asked about the emergency placement list (which I find out she runs) and she tells me she "wasn't aware" that we were interested in e-care... Even though that's all we've ever discussed with her and we asked repeatedly about the list and protocol and timelines. We are told the call goes out Thursday/Friday to get people on the list for the coming week. She says she's still on track to finish and submit our home study by September 30. Never received the call, so we weren't on the list.

* Email sent October 3rd to fill her in on our daycare choice (3rd choice, bleh), check on the home study she swore would be done by September 30. No response.

* Call 2x October 6th, referencing the email and citing that we have not received the "on deck" call for the emergency list for 2 weeks. Are we on the list or not? Email response answers 0 of our questions, simply asks "will you be around this weekend? I would be making the call regarding emergency list." States nothing about home study progress or whether or not we're actually on the list. [We weren't, by the way.]

* October 9th, I called her supervisor because the communication is piss-poor and we're done with it. Got her voicemail which specifically stated the date (October 9th) and that she was in the office, but either on the phone or temporarily away from her desk. Left a voicemail requesting her to call us to help us deal with some communication problems with our worker so we can fix it on our end. Called 3x that day in hopes of catching her, but no luck.

* She calls me back October 10th and I word vomit every date that I've posted here. She says, "That's not normal. I will get with [worker] and see what's going on. I will follow up with you this afternoon or tomorrow."

* I receive a follow-up email that afternoon, which states that our home study was not completed but would by Friday (October 13th). In addition, we would be placed on the "on call" list for the coming week (now the current one) for after-hours placement. She then goes into reiterating what our worker has said: they don't have a giant need for super short-term placements because they try not to move kids more than once (original home to foster home), so this didn't guarantee anything.

* I reply, stating that we agreed with what she stated about not wanting to move kids and offered to extend our previously strict timeline to 2 *months* instead of 2 weeks. I receive no response.

* October 13th, 2pm, I call our worker to confirm that our home study was sent and to see if our timeline changing to 4x as long would help us get a placement. No answer, so I leave a voicemail. At 4pm, I call her supervisor and leave the same message.

* Note that we did **not** receive an "on deck" call for the 3rd week running, but I am not sure if that's because they already had us on the list (based on the phrasing of the email) or if we got skipped again.

* Today, I plan to call in less than 30 minutes to ask the same questions and request confirmation that we are on the list. Not just "yes", but *proof*. I have a feeling they'll just lie about it and that we've been given a lot of lip service so far.

That's kind of where our timeline ends. My wife is on the verge of taking Wednesday afternoon off to drive down to the office and sit there until they can resolve the issues (home study not done, lack of calls for placements, lack of communication, etc). Her dad, after talking with her at length last night, is concerned that we're being discriminated against because we're an LGBT couple. He's not one to jump onto that bandwagon (not to mention he's a die-hard Republican), so hearing that from him was concerning. On top of that, he went as far as to say that he would pay for a lawyer if we find ourselves in need.

Obviously there are repercussions for that, not the least of which is burning a bridge with the department and never getting a call...or getting a call that they know we can't handle and giving us 0 support.

So what do you guys think? Are we being discriminated against? Are we being ignored intentionally? Or are we just impatient millenials who should just sit on our hands while kids are being put into group homes instead of our home?
Topic:
CPS and Dependency Law

Answer: I don't see the connection between you being an LGBT couple and their lack of response. Where's the proof of that?


Title: Florida Employer forcing us to take a 30 minute lunch break.

Question: I work nights as a server and our company is now forcing us to take a 30 minute 'lunch' break before our shift or after. Obviously it's not feasible to take one in the middle of the dinner shift. Their reasoning is if we work more than 6 hours in a shift we are legally forced to go on break. Is this true or is there a way to waive the unwanted break?

Answer: You can't just leave at the start of your break after your shift?


Title: Friend got arrested last night. How serious are these charges?

Question:
LOCATION : AMES IOWA

Last night my friend was arrested and charged with the following

1. Providing False Information (simple misdemeanor )
2. Possession of alcohol under legal age (simple misdemeanor )
3. Possession of a manufactured Fake ID (serious misdemeanor )
4. Minor providing alcohol to a minor (simple misdemeanor )

Her bond was set at $1900 I bailed her out.

She has court next Monday. When she was arrested the officers did not read her her miranda rights. Is there anyway to go about proving this? I'm wondering if this will impact her future she wants to be crime scene investigator. Did this fuck her over?

P.S. She was not intoxicated

Thanks

TLDR friend got arrested how serious is it ? How can you prove you were not read your miranda rights.

Answer:
 Unless they're seeking to introduce statements she made after she was in custody, her not being read Miranda warnings is irrelevant.

Four misdemeanors is a moderately big deal and if convicted, could be disqualifying from a law enforcement career.  She needs to find a lawyer.Answer #2: Not reading her Miranda will have no effect on the charges. Since you didn't put your location I can't answer beyond that. Tell her to get an attorney.


Title: My job fires me after being away from work injured.

Question: I’m a student in Ontario Canada for some background and I worked at this company last summer and up until now this summer. A week ago I was involved in a car accident outside of work which I was not at fault for, but ended up getting concussed from and missed a week of work. At the end of that week I received an email stating I was let go from the company. I want to know if this is something they can legally do and what my next steps I should take are.

Answer:
 ON allows up to 3 days sick leave. Your employer also has a duty to make reasonable accomodations for you. Did you make any requests to your employer or did you just say that you wouldn't show up for a week?

Your next step could be to call the ON human rights commission to see if you were unfairly dismissed.Answer #2: If you had a doctor’s note stating that you need at least a week for recovery. That firing is a wrongful termination. My advice is to contact a lawyer and seek legal advice on how to handle this.


Title: Looking for help, DA trying to use prison phone records against me

Question: My lawyer just informed me that they received my phone records and are trying to use to say I did my mother to relay a message to a victim in a restraining order so 3rd party contact. The police report for the docket states that victim received texts allegedly from my mother saying she received a letter from me staying that "I love her" and he wants to know you're alive". I was going to use my mother as defense witness but the DA made her plea the 5th.  That's then they got the records knowing I could win without a cross examination. My question is , in regards to the jail phone records, can I argue authentication issues being that even though there's a call list approved numbers with names, can I fight saying whos to say that was my mother on the phone call or even was that me using my PIN number since inmates use other inmates PIN all the time.? What's my chances please I got trial in 2 weeks.

Answer:
 So, you knowingly circumvented the no-contact restraining order, using your mother as the go-between?

You are going to have a hard time proving otherwise. They have the phone records as proof.


Title: Our home sale is closing this Tuesday and just got word today that there has been a CPL slapped on the home by the seller's ex (who is not on title) What can we do?

Question:
Located in British Columbia, Canada.

I am absolutely gutted by this. We have already incurred costs on this home, like insurance being paid already for the first two months and the utilities have already been switched over as of June 12.

Seller's lawyer now wants an extension of 30 days on this but I do not want that. I want the keys on Tuesday, as planned. She rushed us to do this sale in her counter offer which we accepted -- which looking back, her disgruntled ex is probably why she rushed us.

Do we have any leverage here?

Answer:
 You may want to get your own real estate attorney to review this purchase. INAL but the realtor/seller may have been either dealing in bad faith or something along those lines to push a sale through before the ex found out. The ex may not be on the title but may still be due a portion of the value of the property.

Who knows? You aren't really privy to the private life of the seller. They may have been trying to pull one over on the ex and now you have damages due to promissory estoppel.


Title: WI - Is it possible to pay child support without the other parent knowing where you are?

Question:
I’m currently in the process of leaving a years-long physically and verbally abusive relationship. I am also about 8 months pregnant with a child that I do not want. Long story short, my boyfriend sabotaged my birth control, had sex with me until I was pregnant, and prevented me from getting an abortion through isolation and control. On the unfortunately very likely chance that this thing doesn’t come out stillborn, I know it’s going to be next to impossible for me to escape my boyfriend because he will use every single legal trick to keep me trapped. I know I won’t be able to escape paying child support, but I’m pretty sure he can’t force me to visit or to act as a parent. All I want to know is if it’s possible for me to set something up with a lawyer where I pay them and then they pay the court or whatever, but my boyfriend isn’t able to find out where I’ve gone or if I’ve changed my name or something.

TLDR: I don’t want any contact with this kid or with its father, so is it possible for me to pay child support without him knowing where I am?

Answer: The shelters around here will send a cab to pick you up. If he gets to work or something you could try to pack quickly after calling a shelter and they may be able to transport you. They deal with this kind of stuff every day.Answer #2: OP find the number for Legal Action of Wisconsin. They help people in your situation for free.


Title: Researching meth.

Question:
 I am making a modification in a certain game where you can cook methamphetamine. Is it illegal to make such a thing and is it illegal to Google how to cook? The Modification would allow people to manufacture methamphetamine. But to do that I need to learn how to make it myself.
**Edit:** What I mean by that is that if I look up such a thing can I be arrested/charged also if it is ok to make a game/game modification that shows how to make meth.

Answer:
 I look up weird illegal things all the time. A lot of people do. I did it for work on government computers. Not illegal. If you do end up cooking meth your search history can be used in court.

Do not actually show how to make meth in your game. Way too much liability. You can combine ingredient x and y in a soda container and shake but you should not put use 5mg of sodium and 8mg of sudafed. (I have zero idea how to make meth other than that it can be made in a soda bottle and uses sudafed)


Title: [CO] My friend was sexually assaulted by a Tinder date, she doesn't want to report it, can I do it?

Question:
My friend (20F) was sexually assaulted by a Tinder contact, he exact words were "He didn't know that No means No". She has recently lost everything in a house fire and she says she doesn't want to push the issue because of everything that has happened. She told her Mom a few days after it happened and she even had text convos with him after it happened where he denied it(she said she deleted the texts and blocked him but i am sure she can retrieve the text from the phone company) and she says a one of his friends was there so it would be their word against hers.

I am lost because I want to help and she is the type where she will just push stuff off because "she doesn't want to bother anyone". She has been assaulted by a family member in the past so I don't think she is making this stuff up.

Answer: It's not your place to report a sex crime that didn't happen to you.  This is up to her.  Pursuing a sexual assault case can be emotionally torturous for the victim, so please respect her boundaries.Answer #2: Recent sexual assault victims don't need the people they trust violating them anymore.Answer #3: Apparently, you don't know that "No means no." either. If she doesn't want to report the crime, you should *respect* her wishes. Once a crime is reported, one's ability to control the situation is gone. It is solely in the hands of the police. *She's* the one that would have to be drug through a grueling prosecution of this guy and made to recount what happened to *her*. A *private* horror of her's will be made a *public* display. Something has harrowing as the prosecution of your *own* rape should be *your* decision. You going behind back is taking away her *choice* all over again.


Title: How easy is it to get a protective order lifted once it's permanent?(Indiana)

Question:
Several months ago I posted about my severely autistic  nephew who was sexually abused by his non custodial dad. It's a whole multi county mess. My SIL took  him to CPS who substantiated the case with a forensic interview and turned it over to the police. This was late October early November. At about the same time, she got a protective order. It gave him 30 days to reply or it would be permanent for 2 years. He didn't respond and it became permanent, including SIL and nephew.

Last week They had an emergency custody hearing. It got continued because of the protective order because the judge was basically like "we'll since there's a protective order I can't do much, come back in 6 months and see if anything has changed," continuing it until July.  The custody and protective order are 2 different counties. Well the next day she got a letter from the prosecutors office saying they had insufficient evidence to press charges.

My SIL is afraid that since the prosecutors office is saying there isn't enough evidence that he could get the protective order lifted, despite CPS substantiation of the case. She said he will probably use his tax refund to get an attorney.

I know victims can have the order lifted but is it possible (or how hard is it) for the perpetrator to get it lifted after it becomes permanent? Since the custody hearing changed nothing should she request another emergency hearing if the protective order gets lifted before the July hearing if he attempts to see the kid?

If he can't get it lifted will the family court just say come back when it's up? Will they ever give him regular vists or will they only allow supervised visits?

I know it's all up the each judge but what are your opinions about the likely outcome?

Answer:
 For custody, he could get supervised visitation.

She needs to get the cps report. She needs to start that process now because it is a long process generally.

She should also start saving for an attorney.


Title: Possible child sex charges

Question:
Hello,

I'm a 21 year old gay male in south carolina, USA.

I met a guy on an app called hornet, which is explicitly an 18+ app. We exchanged numbers and texted some. He asked for pictures and I sent him an explicit picture. He then revealed that he is actually 17 and asked if I was ok with his age. I told him yes, as the age of consent is 17. I did not send him a picture after he told me his age. We did not physically meet.

I now have a private investigator calling saying he is actually 16, and his father is calling demanding I pay $2000 for "damages" or they're going to the police.

What are my options? Am I being scammed?

Edit: I feel like I should mention that I'm barely surviving money wise. I've gotta make $10 last all week buying food and gas. I really can't afford an arrest or $2000 payment.

Edit 2: I found almost the exact same scam in this article complete with the same broken MacBook pro.

http://www.thedailyscam.com/underage-girl-sext-scam/

Answer:
 Before I even clicked on this post I knew it was a scam.

We get like 20 of these a day.Answer #2: It's a scam. Block and ignore.


Title: (TN) Comcast send a bill we don't owe to collections. Can I sue?

Question:
We had Comcast service for less than a year. Back in November we decided to cancel the service and switch to ATT. The first time my wife called and they had to call me to verify she was able to be an authorized user and could cancel the service. We then had to call a second time because they didn't cancel the service and had said she couldn't cancel it. I then had to call once again to cancel the service finally. We then took the equipment back and verified the account was cancelled. In December we got our final bill and paid it, that's what we do... Pay our bills.

Fast forward to April we get a bill from Comcast for $874.61. We call immediately and inquire about this and they said we never cancelled the service. We explained the situation and they said they would have to have a specialist look into it and they would call back in 48 hours.... 3 weeks go by and no call. In May we get another bill for the same amount. We again call and explain our situation and the agent even agreed with us that he saw where we had cancelled the account. He could not credit the balance at his level and said he would have his supervisor look at it and he would call us back...in 24-48 hours....no call so far...

However this morning we got a call from a collection agency for this... Now my questions are

What is the best thing to do here?
Can we sue? If we sue what can we sue for?
In TN small claims court allows Lawyers, should we get one or represent ourselves?

Answer:
 Ask the collections agency to validate the debt. Via certified mail, provide to them the evidence that you called in to cancel the service, any paperwork showing it was cancelled, and the final bill and proof of payment of that bill. If the charge remains in your credit report, you can dispute it.

Also, begin documenting all phone calls, the time/date you call, and what you discuss during each call. Also make sure you get the customer service rep's name or employee number as well, if you can.Answer #2: Yes you can sue in your district's court small claims. Depending on your state, you first send a demand letter outlining what exactly you want, removal of the 874.61 bill. here is a sample of a MA demand letter. http://www.mass.gov/ocabr/consumer-rights-and-resources/resolve-a-problem/demand-letter.htmlAnswer #3: Not Legal advice, but Comcast advice.
Put in a complaint with the BBB. I had the same trouble with comcast and "their system" I went head to head with them for 2 months. I put in a BBB complaint and it was resolved within a week.
Just my anecdote however it might be worth the 15 minutes.Answer #4: Did you get paperwork when you returned the equipment?


Title: Tenant's rights in Colorado. Landlords tossed our stuff out and changed the locks before our lease was up.

Question: Posted on mobile, sorry for formatting errors. So I have a year lease at my apartment that is up on the 20th of April. We have been great tenants recived no complaints and have always payed our rent on time.  We gave the required 60 days notice and we moved most of our things on the 8th to our new house. We had left a load of laundry, a load of dishes, our porch furniture and cleaning supplies with plans to return tomorrow the 18th to finish cleaning and get the last of our belongings. So Monday the 13th I stopped by to pick up the laundry. No issues. Then Thursday night my SO returned to pick up the dishes and the locks had been changed. She went to talk to the office and they said they had talked to me on the 8th and I said we were gone. Which is a lie.  We still have our keys had never done a walk through or anything. I went in today to figure out what was going on and she told me they had thrown everything that was left away. What are my rights here. I calculated the value of the things they trashed are around 500. And I feel as though we shouldn't have to pay rent anytime after they changed the locks.

Answer: You are correct, that is in no way legal. If your lease wasn't up until the 20th, then it is legally your property until the 20th. Tell them to reimburse you the value of the items lost or you will sue them in small claims court.


Title: "Delete this post" - is this "legal" advice?

Question:
I have seen a number of posts over the years ([Example](https://www.reddit.com/r/legaladvice/comments/ptwz10/punched_a_plumber_in_my_home/hdz6r2g/)) where the advice is given to "delete this post immediately". In the example I linked to, it specifically indicates to "delete this post. You are admitting to a crime".

Would deleting such a post not qualify (or potentially qualify) as destroying evidence? Would advice to delete the post not constitute counselling someone to do something illegal? I am not debating that all things being equal, there are posts like this that COULD be used against the OP if they were discovered and that OP would be better off if the post didn't exist, but it seems like it would be counter to the rules of the sub to give the person advice to do something illegal.

Answer:
 it’s not “evidence” it’s an out of court statement. someone could attempt to enter it into evidence into court claiming it is an admission, but it has zero automatic legal status as evidence.

deleting a post is just removing the public’s access to your statement. the only time it could be considered deleting  evidence is if a person was ordered to preserve it.Answer #2: You aren't actually deleting the evidence of a post when you delete a post.  There are still server logs and records that Reddit could hand over if subpoenaed.  In essence, you aren't destroying evidence, you are discarding a statement that you no longer want to make which is protected by the fifth amendment


Title: Retailer reported theft of an item their own employees left in my vehicle.Any advice?

Question:
Im in Illinois.

I want to add a disclaimer that it takes a lot to frustrate me when dealing with customer service as I have worked for years, but this issue in particular has my blood boiling.

Tuesday: I needed a new tire very quickly as I had to be at work soon, and unfortunately didnt have a lot of cash on me so i headed down to big name retailer. Interaction with the cashier was awkward as I could tell he was very new in the position and was having trouble, no big deal, im not a dick so i joked and small talked with him for awhile.

We finally get the order processed and I proceed to wait for awhile. It was just at an hour and a half when they called me which seemed odd since it was 1 tire and not very busy that day.

Well, I go to check out and it comes to over 300$ and I asked why it was so much. The cashier rang it as 3 tires, and they ran the service as such. I explained that I asked for only 1, and the manager had them take the other tires off, resulting in a 2 hour wait.

By this time, I had to tell work i would be late which i had planned on, and now im losing nearly an hour and a halfs pay.

Im a softy and the poor kid was obviously nervous as his coworkers were giving him shit, but i kept trying to lighten the mood.

I leave, and all is well, i go to work.

Today: I recieve a call from the local police department investigating "theft"or missing property of a portable air compressor.

Freaking out, I look in my trunk, and they had left it in my trunk and waited days before reaching out to me.

I am heading over to return it to them now, but they were threatening to issue a warrant for my arrest, even going so far as to contact my mother, who called me nearly having a heart attack.

Should I just try to deal with the store itself, let it go, or do i have any other options?

Answer:
 I would go and return it and give them a piece of my mind.  Also i would ask to talk to their general manager in person and explain what happened during your interaction with the sales person.

I would ask them to also print out a receipt for their piece of equipment they left in your car so you can have proof you returned it.  Have the GM or manager sign it.Answer #2: ... You know, if this is the store I'm thinking of... the thing that surprises me most about all of this is the fact that they don't use shop air...

(no offense meant... I worked at this particular retailer for a year and a half)


Title: Will FULL secrecy of corresspondance be maintained by the authorities if I send a confidential letter to someone in Brazil?

Question:
I would like to send a letter to someone in Brazil from Bangladesh. The letter is highly confidential and has sensitive information. The envelop also contains a DVD.

Any suggestions on how to prepare the letter so that confidentiality is maintained perfectly and that no one in the middle opens it? Any wax seal, stamp, seal or anything?

Anyone from Brazil here or who knows the law there?

PS: I am sending it to a lawyer by the way.

Answer: Have you thought about encryption?Putting all the files in a usb stick/dvd and encrypting it with TrueCrypt/Bitlocker. Then you can send the password to the other party(through a secure channel), or use assymetric encryption, like PGP which doesnt require a secure password exchange. It seems a lot safer than putting an anti-tamper seal on the letter.


Title: [Seattle,WA] Just curious, what is the standard for "reasonable detention" here?

Question:
Hi,

I was reading another thread and got to thinking - what is the standard for reasonable detention?  As in, is there a standard a patrol officer would be held to when making a detention on the sidewalk, for example?  Let's say I'm walking down the street minding my own business and an officer comes up to me, motions for me to take out my earbuds, and pulls me to the side of the sidewalk to be cuffed.  The officer might say that I "match a description of a suspect in X crime" and hold me while identity is verified, or arrests me and does the identification at the local police station.  Would there be any kind of evidentiary standard the officer has to meet, or is it up to the individual officer's discretion?  How much discretionary judgement does the officer have in a situation where they don't witness you committing a crime and there are no corroborating witness reports or prior background?

Just curious, I haven't ever been in a situation like this (the only police interactions I've had have been for speeding) but a common fear some people have is getting "stopped unfairly", so I was looking for some education by a legal mind.

Answer:
 It is up to a judge to decide after the fact. In general an officer has to be making a reasonable effort to verify his or her suspicion. So if a witness can verify or dispel suspicion in 5 minutes that's great. If it takes 30 minutes because the witness was being treated for an injury that's fine too.  If the officer just decided to wait 30 minutes for no reason before calling the witness over then that's a problem.

As long as the officer can justify the wait there is no actual time limit.


Title: WA State Law; How many days can my employer schedule me in a row?

Question:
Topic:
BestOf

Answer: Generally there is no limit unless you work in a specific industry that requires rest periods like truck drivers or pilots.


Title: Landlord's tree fell on my car.

Question:
First off, not sure if this belongs here, but I need some advice.

I rented out a studio that is attached to a larger house that my landlord resides in. A couple days ago I was about to run some errands before I realized that my car had a new ornament on top of it...a fucking tree. At first he wanted me to use my own insurance to cover the damages, until he eventually conceded that he was liable and will make a claim through his home insurance. According to him, an adjustor will be out tomorrow.

I'm in a bad spot. Although it was a reliable vehicle (94' Honda Accord), the car is only worth $1000 or so and I don't believe I'll be able to find anything for that price.

My questions are, what can I expect from his insurance company and would there be any way to fight for a higher dollar amount to cover the cost of a cheap, reliable vehicle?

Also, I'm in Arizona.

Thanks in advance

Answer:
 You are entitled to your damages and nothing more. If your car was totaled and is only worth $1000, you are only entitled to that $1000.

The landlord/insurance isn't going to buy you a more expensive vehicle.


Title: Emotional Support Animal Issues

Question: So my wife has actual anxiety issues and has been seeing a licensed psychiatrist in Arizona for several years now. Around 3 years ago the psychiatrist recommended she get an emotional support animal. Which she did, she then provided emotional support documentation for the past several years. When we got married my wife started wanting to look at having kids, so we decided we would try and work with the psychiatrist to try and taper of the medications. Now that we are trying to taper her off the medication however the psychiatrist has decided that my wife no longer needs an emotional support animal form, and is denying to fill out the form, citing "liability issues" due to recent events. While i understand that the form is often faked or misused my wife has a legitimate reason for having the form. It seems like the psychiatrist is the only one who can sign the form, but its rather ridiculous that she can just stop filling it out. Are we supposed to just put the dog down? My question is if the dog was prescribed specifically by a psychiatrist then shouldn't the prescription continue at least throughout the duration of the patient relationship, the dog is essential to my wife's mental well-being and she would continue to see the psychiatrist to monitor her situation while we tried to have kids off the medication because we want to make sure that she is doing well and is healthy. The form is needed because my wife has to fly fairly frequently, so not having the form signed will end up costing us thousands of dollars because not having the dog is honestly not an option.

Answer:
 >My question is if the dog was prescribed specifically by a psychiatrist then shouldn't the prescription continue at least throughout the duration of the patient relationship

Of course not. The psychiatrist can determine at any time that any particular treatment is no longer appropriate.


Title: Employer wants to pay me for my hour of overtime on the next week's paycheck.

Question: [deleted]

Answer:
 > Is my employer just not wanting to pay me for an hour of overtime?

No, it sounds like your employer is ensuring that you'll get a full 40 hours in the next week.  Your 11P-7A shift would count towards next week's hours; if you don't count that 11P-12A hour you'll be at 39, not 40.

Answer #2: I'm not a lawyer, but I was under the impression that although employers could define what a "work week" means (within reason), once it is set it is set, and it's shenanigans to move time around from week to week.  *Especially* if that adjustment causes an employee to be paid less, which it would in this case if 1 hour of overtime pays more than 1 hour of normal work in the following week.


Title: Would this be legally possible?

Question:
Would it be legal to try to make some sort of contract for yourself. So if you were going to a car dealer you could sign before going there and give it to them before talking about cars and sitting down with them. This contract would be to yourself or someone else for not buying a car that day and that you give up your right to be able to buy a car that day due to the likelihood that you thought you may be pressured into it.

That way if they tried to do it you would be like I already signed this before so I am legally unable to buy this car tonight and I have to sleep on it. At which point you could go home and learn about it more and debate if you really wanted the car.

People could do this if they wanted to go car shopping but knew they would possibly be pressured and just were not good negotiators.

People could also opt out like normal and just go and buy a car if they wanted. Maybe there could even be deals and specials now catered to people that don't sign one because they are serious or something Idk

I know it probably sounds like a really weird question but thank you for any advice. I thought of this after reading someone on reddit talk about how they felt some pressure and just knew they were bad at saying no to that situation. Whereas I just bought a car and I just was very polite and able to comfortably say no to different dealers for a day and walk away.

 Everyone is different and I think this would help a lot of people if it's possible

Answer:
 You can't form a legally binding contract without a second party. Perhaps you could find a second person and make a contract along the lines of "A agrees to forgo the right to buy an automobile for 24 hours in consideration of B's payment of $1 to A". This could be technically enforceable, but would only give B the right to enjoin you from purchase. The car dealer wouldn't take it seriously, and would think you were nuts, or if he really took it seriously, would point out that B has the right to waive your restriction, so you're not really restricted anyway.

In short, it's okay to go into a dealership and say "I'm just looking around, I can't buy a car today even if you offer it for a great price."


Title: Sexually assaulted girl and her 11 year old abuser. Need some help.

Question: In light of the post about a man's life being ruined because of an abuse allegation I feel very conflicted. My neighbors who live upstairs have a very sweet five-year-old girl that would always go over to my other neighbors house to play with her 11-year-old boy, The neighbors with the daughter have been living there for at least two years and have been friends with this neighbor for about that long and every time they would come over she would go into the boys room and the door would be shit. Last week the parent of the girl found her daughter laying in the boys bed half naked as the boy ran to the bathroom and stayed in there. The parent took her daughter out and asked what happened. She stated its a game the boy always plays with her and was instructed not to tell anyone, apparently she gets undressed and plays doctor and gets touched by this boy, it's been going on for a while now. When the daughters mom confided in me I said she should go to DCFS because we are both mandatory reporters. She complied but later said DCFS told her due to the age of both they wouldn't probably pursue it and told her if she wanted anything done she would have to report it to the police. I don't want to have this kids life ruined by just being young and slightly disturbed. He's already in counseling and his mother is just pretending nothing happened. I just want there to be a paper trail but not ruin his life or have him taken away from his family. Please help. This is all happening in Illinois btw.

Answer:
 The 11-year old needs treatment.  You say he is in counseling, but if his mother is pretending nothing happened---how will counseling be effective, if she is even taking him at all?   11-year old was likely sexually abused himself at some point (the way he knew exactly what to say to the 5-year old to keep her quiet).  He needs counseling to deal with his past trauma, as well.

In light of that and Mom pretending nothing happened--  it's possible that she knows who abused her son, but is choosing to look the other way.

You are a mandated reporter.  This is the reason you are mandated, because it is scary. I know you don't want to ruin anyone's life, but you will be ruining many young girls' lives in the future if he isn't treated now.   And if he is also being sexually abused, then you could be ruining his life by letting his abuse continue.

You have the ability to potentially stop suffering in its tracks--do it.

 Answer #2: I find it difficult to believe that DCFS would not investigate because the abuser is 11 years old.  I think the girl's mom never reported it.  Call DCFS and get the ball rolling.  Both kids need help.Answer #3: This title is a doozy as I read it that you had sexually assaulted a girl and her abuser.  Not that the girl was being sexually assaulted by the 11 year old boy.Answer #4: IANAL

It is important that it is reported because without treatment this is not going to stop. This might change the 11 year old's life, but if grows up and continues to abuse children he could ruin more than one life. It's better that he receive treatment now.


Title: [GA] Landlord never signed my lease. Is now trying to enforce the contract. Is it void without their signature?

Question:
Long story short: I failed to give my landlord 60 days notice that I was not renewing. It was about a 25 day notice.

The contract says I must give 60, failure to do so requires I pay rent the month after my lease ends.

But upon inspection, my lease was never signed by the landlord. Neither was the original, I have picture proof. In addition, the original landlord quit.

Is the contract void? If not then it is considered a “Tenancy at will” and subject to a month to month agreement.

[Title 13 Chapter 3 Article1] states that without “assent” of both parties, a contract is void and unenforceable.
Topic:
Landlord Tenant Housing

Answer: Only the signature of the party that it’s being enforced against, in this case you, is necessary.  The other parties assent is assumed by the fact that they are trying to enforce it.


Title: Can my employer cut my pay without telling me?

Question:
Hi everybody. I work at a grocery store as a supervisor in the produce department. About 2 weeks ago, my weekly salary of ~$580 was cut to ~$440. When I got my first check 2 weeks ago, I noticed the change in my pay, but thought that it might have been a mistake. I didn't really bring this up with my employer, because I thought it was either a mistake or temporary. I realize that was a stupid decision. This week I got my second check, and again it was the lowered pay ($440) again. So then I figured that they definitely cut my pay on purpose.

I'm not even exactly sure why they cut my pay. I'm a good worker and don't slack off. In fact my employer actually put me on salary pay about 2-3 months ago. I used to make ~$450 a week working about 60 hours a week. Now I make even less on salary than I used to when I worked hourly.

What bothers me about this isn't that they cut my pay, I'm not really struggling financially to care that much about the extra $140. I just don't like how they cut my pay without telling me. Not a single word was said to me telling me that it was going to happen or why it was going to happen.

I just want to know if this legal (whether they can cut my pay without telling me). I'm not planning to sue them if it is, I just want to bring it up to them and let them know how unprofessional it was. And if it matters, I live and work in Pennsylvania.

Answer:
 Have you tried talking to your employer about this?  That is your first step.  You need to figure out if they actually meant to do it or it was an accident in payroll, and if they did mean to do it, why they did it.  Answer #2: > So then I figured that they definitely cut my pay on purpose.

Faulty logic. If it was a data entry error initially it would likely go unnoticed until the employee brought it up. You really just need to first talk to you employer about this. It could have been an error and they will make it right.

They cannot reduce your rate of pay before telling you about it.

https://www.portal.state.pa.us/portal/server.pt?open=514&objID=563209&mode=2#11


Title: My 1 year old son's mother had only seen our child 8 days of the past 4 months. Now she isnt giving him up.

Question:
My son is about 18 months old and his mom I haven't been together since before he was born. She moved out about a month after he was born and originally we agreed to split custody 50/50. The schedule was 4/3 3/4 with exchanges on Wednesday and Saturday or Sunday. Well starting in January that hasn't happened. She has refused to pick him up for weeks on end and then only has him overnight for one or two nights. I've been keeping track via screenshots and a calendar and so far I have had him 275 days out of the 308 days of this year so far. Back in June I filed for custody. Mediation didn't work. She wanted the paperwork to say 50/50 but control school, medical and religion. Which didn't make much sense since she doesn't pay insurance and had only been to 2 doctor appointments since he has been born. She has also threatened to call the cops and try to charge my girlfriend with kidnapping because she demanded that I drop him off at her house even though she knew I was at work (same work schedule for over 2 years) and she threatened my mom saying the same thing if she ever watched our son. We have a hearing in December and the mom picked up our son last Wednesday. This is after not seeing him for 3 weeks straight and only seeing him a few days total a few weeks before that. When I asked to pick him up she told me no every day this week and told, over text message that she is withholding me from seeing my son until the judge says otherwise. She said I can only FaceTime him but she hangs up after less than 10 min. These are all recorded. I'm wondering if there is anything I can do for the next 30 days until the hearing. Should I continually ask to pick him up everyday? Should I ask her to meet me somewhere close to her house like a police station and ask her to meet me there? This is in Colorado.
Topic:
Custody Divorce and Family

Answer:
 NAL. For court purposes, I would continue to ask her. You know the answer will be no, but that evidence will mean more if you have proof of her withholding for much longer than the agreed term and repeatedly denying you. You want to show there was a strong attempt to spend time with your child.

 IMO: dont give her the upper hand by showing up to her place w/o police coming with you. If you show up by yourself she might twist it and try to charge you. Keep your self "crystal clear" so she has nothing against you and she will lose most if not all custody.Answer #2: It's odd that she barely sees her kid yet is adamant about who picks him up and whatnot. Just doesnt make any sense whatsoever.


Title: Usubscribed to EA marketing emails but still receive them.

Question:
I'm in Australia and was once subscribed to receive marketing emails from EA due to the creation of an Origin account.

At the bottom of each email they send me is a link to unsubscribe from all EA emails. I've followed the link millions of times and have received unsubscribe confirmations yet I still receive marketing emails. I've screenshotted the unsubscribe confirmations as well.

I wrote to their 'Privacy Policy Administrator' via snail mail which is also listed as an option to unsubscribe at the bottom of their emails. I requested my email address be removed from the mailing list. I sent that letter over a month ago and got no reply and still receive marketing emails.

I know this now constitutes as unsolicited emails, but is there anything legally I can do? Would be helpful if anyone with knowledge of Australian legality regarding this type of issue had any advice.

Thanks!

Answer: Whenever I receive unwanted email, I hit the "junk" button or equivalent.  Boom, never receive those emails again.  Do you not have that option on whatever email service you use?


Title: Can someone please help me?

Question: So I had been working for a loan company in MS, where I live,  for a bout 2 weeks. About one week in they tested my urine for drugs. A week later it came back positive for marijuana and I was terminated. Keep in mind that I worked 30 minutes from home. About 3 days later 5 different people knew about my drug use and it's really taken a toll on my whole life. I remember reading in one of the packets at the office that the drug screen was suppose to be kept quiet but I know my boss has told his friends and my family members. Is there anything I can do??

Answer: This is going to be one of those situations where even though it's totally anonymous, your fellow employees are going to know why you were fired after 2 weeks of working the job because they likely had to do a urine test too when they first started working.


Title: [IL/KY] Former rapist in jail for assaulting new person. Should I come forward too?

Question:
Hey legaladvice.

When I was 15 years old and living in Kentucky (I'm 20 now) I illegally joined a BDSM dating website called CollarMe, and met a 28 year old man from Chicago I'll refer to as Scum. I had just broken up with my first boyfriend and due to growing up in the South with an abusive step-dad, felt I was worthless after having had lost my virginity to my boyfriend who then dumped me. Thus, why I was on that website- insecure, mentally unstable, unhealthy teenager.

Scum and I had about 3-4 months of Skype exchanges until we decided to meet up. He told me not to tell my mother and helped me concoct a plan to go to the movie theater in my town and pretend I was meeting a friend. I went there, we met up, he took me to a hotel, and he assaulted me violently- I was scared in the car ride and scared in the hotel but afraid of getting in trouble. He spanked me, beat me with a belt, choked me, tied me up, etc. even though I was crying, saying I didn't want this, and telling him firmly to stop. This continued off and on for hours, and he took a photo of me on his cell phone as well as called a friend to brag about it midway through.

I had severe bruising and mental trauma. I then was too afraid of getting in trouble/too ashamed to tell anyone, so I kept up the relationship although was planning on leaving him with the help of his equally mentally unstable ex-girlfriend, who sent me nudes of herself (also an adult, around 26) as well and was addicted to oxy. He made multiple threats towards my family and safety and also blamed me for him losing his job. We met up once more and I do not remember what happened although I do remember the hotel we stayed at and having my face dotted due to being choked. I was 16 (legal) at the time of the second meetup.

 I ended up shortly after moving to WA state, called him and told him that we were broken up (he got violently angry for a while and then finally calmly accepted it), blocked and removed him and cut contact with the ex. He contacted me about 2 years after that once on Skype to ask for me as a "character witness," I ignored it. I contacted him last year or so to basically confront him and he gaslit me and told me that I was crazy, I enjoyed it, and that he was now dating a 19 year old girl. I decided it was a lost cause to dwell on it further, forgave him (for me, not him) and moved on until a few months ago his oxy-addicted ex girlfriend added me on Facebook.

I have not accepted nor declined her request, although I did decide to look up this man. He is currently in jail with the charges of "720 ILCS 5/11-1.20(a)(1) CRIM SEX ASSAULT/FORCE." He is on an electric ankle monitor, and has a bail of $150k. I'm not sure how to find anything further as this is directly from the sheriff's office criminal locator. It's been 5 years since he assaulted me. I have no Skype logs and my computer we communicated with is unusable, although I could probably get it repaired. I most likely deleted my chats over FB with his ex and over Skype/FB with him. I do not have the old phone we communicated over. I do still have his Skype username, but that's about it. I'm also currently living in Europe so I wouldn't be able to appear in court, and I have not told anyone about what happened to me except my current SO and an online pal, and am unwilling to allow my family to find out.

The main reasons I would be writing to give my statement is because 1. I feel guilty for that girl being raped because I never told the authorities about what happened and 2. I want him to go to prison for a long time.

Questions:

1. Would it be worth it/beneficial at all for me to write a statement and email it to the county/sheriff's office in hopes that he is investigated for other crimes/in order to be a character witness? If so, who would I contact specifically for this?

2. Could you perhaps elaborate on the crime he is being charged with. I have zero doubts that it is true however I'm not sure what the law says specifically in layman's terms.

3. When is the statute of limitations up for me to press charges? If I wanted to press charges for this, would I have sufficient evidence (I still have the old computer, his Skype name, could probably find his CollarMe/FetLife as well, he may still have the old phone/his same computer he used to contact me) or do you think it would be pointless from a legal standpoint.

Thank you.
Topic:
Criminal Law

Answer:
 There's a lot to unpack here. Firstly, if you want to testify against this man, you will have to return to the US to do so. Secondly, if you ever testify against him, you have to accept that your family will probably find out.

Finally, you still have time to ask the prosecutor to file charges against this man for raping and assaulting you. To start, you can contact the current DA who is prosecuting him. You will eventually have to contact Kentucky authorities if you want him to be prosecuted for raping you.

The crime that he is being charged with is, basically, rape. Here is the exact statute:

(720 ILCS 5/11-1.20) (was 720 ILCS 5/12-13)
    Sec. 11-1.20. Criminal sexual assault.
    (a) A person commits criminal sexual assault if that person commits an act of sexual penetration and:
        (1) uses force or threat of force;
        (2) knows that the victim is unable to understand the nature of the act or is unable to give knowing consent;
        (3) is a family member of the victim, and the victim is under 18 years of age; or
        (4) is 17 years of age or over and holds a position of trust, authority, or supervision in relation to the victim, and the victim is at least 13 years of age but under 18 years of age.

Answer #2: One small thing you can do to save others is to tell the admins of the dating site. They'll shut down his account immediately.


Title: Visitation and a dog bite

Question:
Good morning, LA!

Asking here with permission from the friend in this situation:

Kendra has a 2 year-old daughter with Aaron, Emeline. Kendra and Aaron are divorced, Kendra has custody, Aaron has visitation.

Two months ago, Emy was spending the weekend (Friday afternoon-Monday morning) with Aaron when his dog (pit bull) attacked her, biting her face twice and holding the second time. The injuries required 18 stitches and rabies shots because Aaron could not prove the dog had ever been vaccinated. The bite happened Friday night, Aaron took Emy to the hospital Saturday night, and Kendra didn't find out about any of this until the hospital called on Monday morning. Emy went home to Kendra after being released from the hospital. Aaron refuses to get rid of the dog. Animal control was not called.

Kendra consults her lawyer, who says she has no case to change visitation but agrees to try to get either visitation outside of Aaron's home (away from the dog), or end it entirely. The judge says there is nothing Kendra can do about visitation because "it was an accident and could have happened anywhere."

Currently, Emy's scars are healing nicely, and she still has to go to Aaron's house two weekends a month, where the dog that attacked her still lives.

Please tell me there's something Kendra can do to get Emy away from this dog.

Thank you in advance!

Edited to add more detail.

Answer: Did she call animal control or the police? They can request a hearing to determine if the dog is dangerous or vicious. If found to be vicious the dog will be euthanized. LA R.S. 14:102.12-18


Title: Recorded by co-worker at work without my knowledge and fired due to it

Question:
I was recently fired at work due to a recording a co-worker made of our conversation without my knowledge.  He called me from the work phone on my personal phone while I was not working or at work.  He baited me and I got heated, and he presented this to my boss, who just told me we needed to meet on Monday.  When I showed up to work there was two cops and him there at which he told me I was fired for "insubordination" I was shocked and asked more details but he just kept repeating the word.  I was shaken but left without incident.

Previously I had no reprimanding, no warning, demerits, nothing and he didn't notify HR or anyone.  The only reason I found out it was recorded was because the HR lady called me afterward along with many other co-workers to tell me they loved me and how bullshit it is.

So im wondering if I should maybe look into getting a lawyer or talking to one.  Wisconsin btw.

Answer:
 What did you say on that call that prompted your company to ask the police to supervise the termination?Answer #2: Wisconsin is a one-party consent state regarding recording phone calls and the like, so you don't have much you can pursue there. It's perfectly legal for another employee to record your conversation without your knowledge, and give that recording to your boss.

Wisconsin is also an at-will employment state, meaning you can be fired for any reason at any time, provided it is not for an illegally discriminatory one (eg, Race, gender, etc, etc). Unless you have some kind of union agreement or contract stating otherwise, you're likely out of luck there too.

You can apply for unemployment, and if/when denied, appeal the denial to get a hearing. It also sounds like several of your coworkers will happily provide personal references.Answer #3: NAL. Wisconsin is a one party consent state so your coworker was allowed to record the conversation. Wisconsin is also an employment at will state so unless you're being terminated in relation to your status as a protected class I don't think there's much you can do here except file for unemployment.


Title: Throwing a party, I need advice...

Question:
All right so I'm throwing a party by late October. It's a Halloween costume party. It's going to be a real big party in my backyard. So yes you can consider it a house party. It's going to have a stage with DJs and a self serving alcohol table. Beers and alcohol are going to be free. I will charge for admission $10.  It's going to be 18 to party of course and 21 and over to drink obviously. My concern is this party is going to happen in the state of Florida. Miami Dade County. Can I get in legal trouble if I have a self serve alcohol bar? i'm not going to physically be serving. they are going to serve themselves. Only thing I would be selling is food and soft drinks.  It's going to be one big mutual party I might not know somebody in particular however the person that I'm close with Might know that person because the person came along with them. so it's not like I'm going to have somebody coming after me finding any little Sue hole they can find.

 So let's say Paul decides to have too much to drink. Leave the party and crashes gets hurt and also the person he crashed with ends up with severe injuries. Where does that put me, the host of the party?

Answer:
 > Throwing a party, I need advice...

Don't.Answer #2: > Can I get in legal trouble if I have a self serve alcohol bar?

Yes. Minors will be present. They can get in trouble too.

> So let's say Paul decides to have too much to drink. Leave the party and crashes gets hurt and also the person he crashed with ends up with severe injuries. Where does that put me, the host of the party?

Possibly sued by whomever he crashed into and/or their health insurance company and/or their car insurance company (called subrogation).Answer #3: Allowing under 21 to attend this party is just asking for trouble.Answer #4: >Can I get in legal trouble if I have a self serve alcohol bar?

Yes. If this is also not your home, your parents can get arrested under the social host law if the cops come and find drunk minors.

>so it's not like I'm going to have somebody coming after me finding any little Sue hole they can find.

Then you really have absolutely no idea how parties work. Trust me, there are going to be people there who don't know anyone at the party and could just be there to cause a problem. There will be friends of a friend of a friends cat groomer at your party.

>Where does that put me, the host of the party?

You are liable for anything that might happen.


Title: [North Dakota] My 22 year old brother was arrested for statutory rape for sleeping with a 17 year old. She was his bartender. The minimum age for serving alcohol in ND is 19.

Question:
Throwaway for obvious reasons. My 22 year old brother has been arrested for statutory rape because he slept  with a 17 year old. The age of consent in ND is 18 and there is no close in age exception or anything like that. He met the 17 year old at a bar where she was the bartender. In North Dakota the legal age for serving alcohol is 19 years old. The bar he met her at was a real sports bar and not some dive.

My brother is not a creep or a pervert and he wouldn't have slept with her if he had known her age. I went to the sports bar with him one time. She looks like she is in her 20s and she even has several tattoos. Never in his wildest dreams would we have thought she was only 17. Can he use the fact that she was working as a bartender as a defense? Getting convicted of something like this could screw up his future. I got him a lawyer but I haven't had a chance to talk with the lawyer yet and I'm really afraid for my brother right now.

EDIT: Wow this really blew up. Apologies to everyone for not replying sooner, there was an emergency at work I needed to deal with. I will reply in to the questions people posted as well, but I will say that; my brother worked as a waiter and bartender in his last 2 years of college so he knows the law around serving alcohol, that we both saw her smoking cigarettes, that she was behind the bar serving and mixing drinks on more than one occasion when he was there or I was there with him, that from what I know her cousin was the one who called the police and that I when I said I had not had a chance to speak with his lawyer I meant beyond retaining him quickly so he could get down there and start looking after my brother.

EDIT 2: I know it's a throwaway and I shouldn't care, but fuck off already to the trolls who are sending me [messages](http://imgur.com/a/QxwSd) saying my brother and I should be raped
Topic:
Criminal Law

Answer:
 Your brother needs to STFU to you and everyone else about this case. He needs to follow his lawyers advice to a T. Sadly "statutory rape" laws are one of the most egregiously unjust areas of US law. In most states the 17 year old could have shown him a fake birth certificate and ID showing she was 18, while her mother and father swore she was 18 and your brother would have *still* technically been guilty of statutory rape.

I wish your brother good luck! Hopefully he comes out unscathed.


Title: I am still being charged arrears and monthly child support for a child I’ve had full custody of the past 2 years. What do I do?

Question:
I live in New York City.
My sons mother abandoned my son. I got a phone call from ACS one day and the ACS worker informed me that my sons mother wanted to give my son up because she couldn’t handle him anymore. (my son has autism) The ACS worker asked me if I was interested in taking custody of my son. I said yes and we arranged for everything to happen that weekend. I signed papers and was told I had custody of my son. I didn’t know any better so while I was still receiving letters claiming that I owed child support I thought nothing of it and thought the paper work was slow to catch up. I thought the same with his SSI checks when the ACS worker told me she told his mother that she had to go report that she was no longer the payer for my child. (No ssi checks for 3 months until I personally went over to see what was going on and found out she was still receiving the checks for him and still cashing them).
 His mother disappears off the face of the earth for literally 2 years. When she does pop back up she says she wants visitations. We go to court and that’s when I find out I didn’t really have “full custody” in their eyes because the paper work was from an ACS worker. But His mother didn’t dispute it. She said I could have full custody, she just as wants to see him once in awhile. We get through that, I’m told nothing about the ssi money she practically stole and gave him none of although I asked about it and even said it in court. I also told my lawyer(public defendant)about the child support issue.I’m being charged arrears and monthly fees for two years now. He said it would be in the final judgement yet the court papers I received do not state this and the public defendant no longer answers my calls.(side note: I lost my job and a lot of other things once I became a full time father. Autism isn’t easy, my son had a difficult time living with his mother his first 8 years. He wasn’t provided any help from city services or even special education because his mother didn’t find the time to get him the help he needed. No therapy, no nothing. Thankfully I was able to find the time to get him all the help and resources he needs but lost my job in the process. I’ve received a lot of help from my blessed mother but she can only do so much.)

my question(s)

(apologies for the deep backstory)

How do I stop child support from sending me letters stating I owe them money for a child I am in full possession of?
Do I still have to pay the arrears I’m being charged despite him being in my full possession during that time?
Has his mother still been receiving child support payments all this time (2 yrs) and if so what can I do about this? The IRS garnished my taxes last year despite him being in my custody? Did she receive a payment from that? Do I get this money back?
What can I do about the money she stole from my son’s SSI account? I have a letter from the IRS stating that she was the one who received the payments but was given no direction in what to do with it? Is this a criminal court matter? What can I do about this?

I feel like she practically bailed on my son and got to steal from him with no type punishment whatsoever. Financially I’ve been put in a whole due to me taking a loan from a family member(written loan agreement) so that I could provide my son with the things he needed while I waited for the ssi checks to arrive that never did because she was stealing them. Needless to say I still owe this person money and I’ve tried to work to pay it off but my son doesn’t do to well in school so I’m constantly being called to pick him up. The 1 job I had after becoming a full time dad didn’t like that so I was fired after 2 months(surprised I lasted that long). Meanwhile his mother shows up to see him when she wants and does absolutely nothing to provide for him….
Thank you for reading this if you can this far. I began to ramble, sorry. This has been very frustrating and depressing….

Answer:
 I AM NOT A LAWYER;

You need to apply for a modification of child support through the court. There is a form and a fee. When you get your court date, bring all your paperwork you have regarding custody, ACS paperwork included. If you lost the ACS paperwork, call the case worker or at least the office they used to work at and get someone to get you a copy of the forms. These will give you an established timeline for when you started having custody. then the Child support Should be modified to show that you started with custody on "x" date and they will calculate from there. Someone has to pay support, so more than likely they will order her to pay something. That amount will be back dated to the day (or should be) that you took custody from ACS. Make sure to have all your paystubs, bank records, tax forms and anything else financial with you when you go.  If this is overwhelming, look at legal aid in your area and see if they can get you a lawyer to help.

if you do nothing they will make you pay her  and even take you to JAIL for not paying.

good luck


Title: "If you hit the Powerball, get an accountant and a lawyer." What type of lawyer would you need?

Question:
Forgive me in advance if this is a really daft question, or not the right sub. This is all (unfortunately) entirely hypothetical.

With the Powerball having gotten so big last week, everyone at work was talking about what we'd do if we won. I've heard from a few people that if you ever win the lottery, or some other similar windfall, the first things you want to do is hire an accountant, and a lawyer. I'm kind of curious about this.

The accountant part seems obvious, but lawyer? I've heard that people will come out of the woodwork to sue you, but is that the reason for the advice? And what type of lawyer would you be looking for?

Answer: Trust and Estates and/or Tax.  Ideally one at a big firm that can draw on support all of these interrelated issues.


Title: [PA] The owner of my place of employment damaged my property intentionally, does he owe me anything?

Question: My brand new bicycle was in the garage at my work and the owner of the establishment found it to be in his way. Instead of moving it he picked it up and threw it across the garage. The bike cost me 2.5k about three weeks ago and is now damaged. Is he liable for the damages? How should I handle this? This happened tonight around 6pm and when I saw the camera footage around 11pm my manager told me I was not aloud to have a copy of the recording. I will be going in tomorrow morning, my day off, to confront the owner. Any advice?

Answer: Sue the owner for your damages. Be prepared to be fired.


Title: [CA] Girlfriend's foster "mother" was stealing her food/clothing stipend.

Question:
California, approximately 15 years ago.

I'll start off by saying that I don't have a ton of details since it's obviously not a subject that she's comfortable with sharing, but I will try to answer any questions that people may have.

Here is the most complete list that I can come up with for what was done by the foster parent:

* Stole the $35 weekly allowance for food
* Used her (bi?) yearly clothing allowance on her grandson instead, submitted those receipts to the state instead.
* Constant emotional abuse, including being locked in a bedroom from Dec 24-26 because "Christmas is for family".

I know there is more, including that she still suffers the after effects of it, but I haven't asked a lot about it in depth. Is there anything that my GF can legally do about this?

Thank you. I'll update this with answers to any questions that may come up as needed.

Answer: At this point all she can do is move on, and get counseling for the lasting effects of that situation.


Title: William Sonoma refusing refund on unshipped order.

Question:
[FL] I recently ordered a few items from William Sonoma. One of those items was an appliance that apparently is not eligible for a refund or cancellation as per website policy. I ordered the item last night, but today realized that my dimensions were off and the item will not fit as I expected it to. WS is refusing a refund or cancellation.

Do I have any recourse? If so, what is my next step?

Answer:
 >is not eligible for a refund or cancellation as per website policy.

This is what you agreed to when you bought it. Answer #2: You have to abide by the company policy that you would have agreed to somewhere in the check out process. If it says no returns then they have no obligation to take a return.


Title: My petty ex-wife wants to recalculate child support payments

Question: My ex recently talked to a friend who mentioned that some night shifts pay up to 10% shift differential.  Based on this, she wants the child support recalculated to reflect any incentives that I am being paid.  Is this a standard procedure or is support calculated on base pay only?  I mean, what if I start working tons of over-time?  Will support payments be calculated on that?  Where does this end? PA resident.

Answer:
 Depends on how long it has been.  If the order was entered last week, the court will probably not be amused.  It's totally normal to do this every few years.

Child support is (generally) based on income, no matter what you call it.


Title: What does this clause in my apartment lease mean?

Question:
There are way too many clauses in this paragraph…

>The acceptance of rent after it falls due, or after knowledge of any breach hereof by Lessee, of the giving of any notice or making any demand, whether according to any statutory provision or not, or any other act or waiver other than written waiver shall not be construed as a waiver of Lessor's right to act without notice or demand or of any other right hereby given to Lessor or as an election not to proceed under the provisions of this lease. The payment or receipt of rent due shall not waive or affect any notice, demand, suit or judgment or in any manner waive, affect, change or modify or alter any right or remedies of Lessor. The rights and remedies of Lessor under this lease are cumulative, and the use of one or more thereof shall not exclude or waive the right to the use of any other remedy.

Answer: It means that just because your landlord lets you pay rent late or after you have violated a term of the lease doesn’t mean the terms of the lease have changed.


Title: Boss just told me I can never request PTO on weekends ever again (full time salaried employee under contract in NC)

Question: Hey guys thanks so much for the help. I edited the post so I don't have to worry about my boss somehow finding it. I have a lot of thinking to do. Thanks for helping me feel like I'm not crazy for being upset about this :)

Answer:
 >"The clinic has to come first" was his rationale.

And yours should be, "I come first to me."

>Is there anything I can do?

Quit, find another job.Answer #2: > There is nothing in my contract about when I can and can't request PTO.

PTO is not required unless it's specified in a contract. Giving you time off is not required unless it's specified in the contract. Does the contract specify anything about PTO or work schedule?

Edit: When does the contract expire (when do you renegotiate it)? I would renegotiate my contract or go to another facility when my contract expired, if I were you. Of course they don't want to give you weekends off, you're all they've got.Answer #3: Your best bet would probably be to find another job and leave (in that order).  If you are as exemplary a vet as you say, you should have no trouble finding a new position.

NC is an at will state, so you should be able to leave without issue. That would be a good thing to check with your lawyer about. Answer #4: > I'm the only full time veterinarian.

Hahahah.

You tell him to go fuck himself (in nicer words, obviously) and either give you the days off or you start job hunting. If everything you've said is true, you should have *zero* issue finding a new job ASAP.

You hold not only all the chips, but the *entire bank* in this deal. He isn't doing anything illegal or unlawful, but he has nothing on you to even *try* and enforce this with.


Title: [GA] When setting up a mortgage the bank cc'd an email to wrong person with my personal information.

Question:
I'm currently in the process of buying a house. During the final steps a representative from the bank cc'd the wrong person with my wife and I's personal information.

List of personal info:
1. My old house address.
2. The current mortgage account number.
3. My wife's email.
4. My full name.
5. The name of my current credit union.
6. Lists the last four digits and names of all my credit cards, as well as balances.

Should I be concerned? Consult a lawyer? I have a feeling action needs to be taken but I do not know what to do.

Many thanks for any advice!

Edit additional info:

The erroneous person did reply to the email chain stating the information did not pertain to them.

Answer:
 Make sure to let the mortgage company know that someone on their side messed up. Specifically making sure someone higher up knows, not just the person who sent the email.

I was on the receiving end of this, getting someone else's entire mortgage application and personal info. All I did was delete it from my email/computer. Answer #2: Suggest that they pay for credit monitoring expenses for you for the next couple of years. That's what I'd do. Answer #3: Most people don't want to steal your identity, nor would they know how to with the information provided. There's some chance the erroneous address wasn't actually an active address. No, you needn't contact a lawyer or be overly concerned. Just keep a cautious eye on your credit report and accounts, like you should always do anyway.


Title: Contractor suing for losing a bid

Question:
Bizarre situation. We had a contractor estimate some house repair work. After deciding against his costs and having concerns for his ability to follow through on the job we went with another contractor.

Today he texted my wife saying he was going to sue for the time spent estimating plus attorneys fees estimating nearly $2000. He also is saying he recorded a conversation with her and that she had entered a verbal contract.  I have no way to estimate the effort or time he spent estimating, and no way was it ever discussed that his time estimating would be paid.

In reality when we saw his prices they were too much, and his approach to the work conveyed no confidence.

It all seems like bluster and sour grapes, but can he do this?  I’m willing to share the body of the text message discretely.

Answer: Any estimates and time spent bidding a project is a common business expensed. Unless he has something is in writing from you guys just ignore him but save anything he sends you just Incase.


Title: Teacher forced kid to take something to sell. Items were lost and now the school is trying to charge me

Question: My sophomore kid's teacher either told the kids to take home something to sell or allowed the kids to voluntarily take the items (this is in dispute). When my daughter tried to return the items, the teacher refused to take them and told her to try again, so she just threw them away. Now the teacher says I owe him $80 for some items that my child had no business bringing home in the first place. Do I have any legal recourse here?

Answer:
 Throwing them away isn’t losing them. She willfully disposed of/destroyed someone else’s property. Also a sophomore isn’t a ten year old so it’s not like a teacher stuffed these items in some little kid’s backpack.Answer #2: Huh? Was this a fundraiser or an assignment of some kind?Answer #3:  The items weren't lost.  And your legal option is you and/ or your daughter repays it. Answer #4: What? Like band candy?Answer #5: Did you sign a consent form of any kind authorizing the fundraiser?

I recall seeing several similar fundraisers over the last few years. Parents signed a consent form that said the kid got a box of chocolates to sell and owed the school $50 regardless of if the sales were completed. The candy could not be returned because either way the parents owed money, it only made sense to sell them.

If you signed such a consent form, they likely have a signed a copy and won’t take no for an answer. Apologies if this isn’t that type of fundraiser.


Title: Ex called the cops on me for entering my recently vacated home.

Question:
My ex boyfriend and I had been dating almost three years. Recently, we moved in with another couple who we’d been friends with for a while. We all lived together for two months, until my boyfriend and I broke up. A few days after this, the couple we lived with also split up. Me and the guy from the other couple who I’ll call (CG) moved out, leaving my ex and CGs ex girlfriend in the house together, who then almost immediately started dating. *hindsight why they called off our relationships simultaneously*. Anyways.

I have a 4 year son. When he and I moved out we went to stay with my mom. Because I did not have a place of my own, I asked my ex if I could leave some of my things (mostly furniture) in the house until I figured out where to move it all. He said that’s fine. 4 weeks go by since the move out. He texts me and says him and his new girlfriend are leaving the house and I have 1 day to move all of my things out before the landlord comes and throws it all away. There was no warning to this. So I get together with CG, and we arrange a time with our exes to come get our things. We show up to the house, supposedly meeting the other two there, and they aren’t home. We wait an hour. They aren’t answering their phones. A lot of my things and my sons things are still in that house. CG still has a key, so we go in the front door and start moving out. Exes find out later we’ve done this and tell me they’ve called the cops on us for trespassing and theft because “we probably took some of their things too since they weren’t there to watch us”. We didn’t. This was yesterday. The cops haven’t contacted me or CG, but I’m not sure what to do now...
I’m just worried.

*legal stuff* CG was on the lease, but the exes told us yesterday they’d spoken with the landlord and he is aware that CG and I no longer live there. I’m in Texas.

Answer:
 I'm going to give you advice that we generally give to people.  It may sound harsh, but it's actually the best legal advice:

You both have one job here, and one job only.  Don't talk to the police.  Just say, "I'm sorry, but **I'm not answering any questions without a lawyer.**"  Police can lie to you and say they just want to understand, or even that they'll arrest you if you don't talk.  Don't answer *anything*.  Even if the police ask you if the sky is blue, don't answer.  Also, you are never obligated to talk to the police or return their phone calls, etc.

Without you placing yourself at the scene, without you confessing to part of the story, the police have nothing to go on but your boyfriend's word that he thinks you stole his stuff.  But if you are arrested, continue to assert your right to silence until you talk with a lawyer.

Now with that said, what you're looking at, realistically speaking, is nothing.  Even if you explained to the cops what happened (which you shouldn't do), they would likely just tell your ex that it's a civil matter 99% of the time.  But yeah, assert your right to silence is the best way to deal with this to avoid problems that 1% of the time.


Title: Probation and being prosecuted again

Question:
I am currently on probation in the state of Utah.
I reside in the state of New York and I recently received new charges dealing with the sale of alcohol to a minor.  (A class A misdemeanor)

I'm wondering if when I return to court if the DA will be able to see my previous charges and that I am on probation?

Yes my P. O knows I live in New York.  But they are unaware of these charges.

I'm going to obtain a public defender.

Answer:
 > I'm wondering if when I return to court if the DA will be able to see my previous charges and that I am on probation?

Oh yeah.  And your PO will too, because you're going to notify him ASAP, as your probation almost assuredly requires.


Title: [Ontario, Canada] Previous landlord refuses to pay our deposit back after court ordered him to.

Question:
As the title states, he is not answering any phone calls deliberately. He carries a lot of ill will apparently. Anyway, the interest rate set by the tenant court is too low to push him to pay or to justify waiting.
What can we do to get our money back?

Answer:
 is your order a court order? If so, you can use it to get a garnishing order. Garnish his bank account or his wages or the rent another tenant owes him.

If its an order from the Landlord and Tenant Board, this will tell you how to turn that into a court order, and then use it to garnish:

http://ontariolandlordandtenantlaw.blogspot.ca/2013/04/you-won-now-collect-money.html


Title: [NC] Hypothetical - A guy got a handicapped ticket because he didn't notice a blue painted fence. But what if he *couldn't* notice a blue painted fence due to genetics?

Question:
[This was just posted](http://www.reddit.com/r/legaladvice/comments/3a6gui/handicap_parking_ticket_can_it_put_points_on_my/) where a guy got a handicapped ticket because he didn't notice a blue painted fence. But what if he *couldn't* notice a blue painted fence?

> the wire fence behind it was painted blue which is indication enough

I've always been curious about this - what if someone is color blind? My great-uncle was a monochromatic. There were (and as far as I know still are) no restrictions for the colorblind on standard licenses. Many forms of it limit (or eliminate) the ability to see red, some eliminate blue. A monochromatic wouldn't be able to see yellow lines on the curb either.

I Googled a bit and found that in California, commercial licenses can be issued "if the examining doctor determines they are able to distinguish the traffic light colors of red, green and amber, even if perceived in shades of gray."

So hypothetically, if someone couldn't see blue, and blue was the only indication that a spot was handicapped, that could be a defense. However, *proving* that one cannot see blue might not be possible.

Answer:
 Researching NC statutes, but I doubt a blue wall suffices as notice that a spot is for handicapped persons only.

Edit: They need a sign on the space. http://www.ncleg.net/gascripts/statutes/statutelookup.pl?statute=20-37.6


Title: 21 year old with upcoming hearing for restraining order for domestic abuse by son’s mom. Extremely bizarre situation.

Question:
Guess I should start things off by saying I’d never in a billion years harm my ex girlfriend or my son, whether it’s emotionally or physically, which is why I’m having to fight this case now. Figured I’d give a little backstory first and save my questions for the end. The first paragraph is kind of an introduction & buildup. Sorry if this gets lengthy.

So I’m a 21 year old 6’3 black male with tattoos from Dallas. I hate to pull the race card but I can’t help but think that it’s factoring into this case. My son’s mom is a 21 year old adopted Korean woman that was born & raised in South Dakota by white 60 year olds. We met at a party my sophomore year in college, & after a few nights of hooking up she announced that she was pregnant. This is when we first started acknowledging ourselves as a couple (red flag). I promised her that I’d provide for us & we’d stick together. So at the end of the semester I met with her parents & told them I was going back home to work at my dad’s business & save up some money, because the part time job I had on campus wouldn’t provide the funds. They didn’t approve & accused me of running off on her because that’s notorious amongst my people, which I guess was an understandable assumption. I went with my plan anyway & they tried to persuade her to put our child up for adoption. So you can guess that I’d made a pretty bad first impression on her parents, & it was impossible to shake. So I save up about $10,000, get us an apartment, we get it furnished, & we’re set. After the baby is born is when things start to get shaky. Something I failed to mention is that she takes pills for depression, anxiety, & bipolar disorder. This combined with her postpartum depression made for a pretty bad concoction. I was fully aware of all of this so I was patient & tolerant with a lot of things. Her random outbursts, spurts of anger, coming home & crying, this was all normal. Things progressively got worse. We’d bicker as much as the next couple over minor things such as “You were here all day & couldn’t do the dishes?” etc & she assumed that this was abnormal, so she’d tell her parents & they’d tell her to come home. So she’d take the baby & be gone for 4 days at a time sometimes. I was missing a lot of a valuable time with my son & a lot of his “big moments”. I had to watch him roll over onto his tummy for the first time & eat solid food (rice & milk) for the first time via Snapchat. I let her know immediately that this is NOT okay & that if we’re going to be a family we’re gonna have to talk things out & communicate, not run to Mom & Dad when we get upset. She took this as a “It’s either me or them. Your choice.” dilemma, told them, & they called me furious telling me “She’s a grown woman that can make her own choices! You don’t control her!” & things of this nature & I tried to explain to them that that wasn’t my intent in the slightest & I just wanted for us to be a family, because it was starting to feel more like Mom, Dad, Ex & Baby were the family & I was just some random guy she lived with. So my girlfriend & I eventually have a deep talk about this, exchange our views, apologize, & things are okay. Then about a week later she casually tells me that her parents got her a new apartment & she was moving out. They take all the furniture we bought together & she’s gone. All of this happened in a span of about 4 months. She moved out December 2017 when the baby was almost 5 months. We’d lived together for about a 9-10 months.

So because this breakup was so abrupt, I’m obviously upset & still in shock. It was extremely odd to me that she acted like this was no big deal, that she just split our family up at her parents request. What made things even worse is that shortly after this, I got a letter in the mail that she’d filed for full custody of the baby, & that I had about 25 days to pay for a lawyer & fight this. This completely caught me offguard because I hadn’t done anything to deem myself unfatherly, & I was afraid her request might actually be granted because I couldn’t afford a lawyer in time. I talk to one, & he wants $800 upfront & $150 an hour & is trying to get me to settle with “just seeing the baby on holidays because joint custody isn’t very realistic.” I decide against hiring one & end up missing the case, thus giving her full custody. I visit her place asking what all of this is even about & why she’s doing this to me & she says her parents feel the baby is safer with the 3 of them than me. After talking & seeing she doesn’t actually have any hard feeling against me, she “allows” me to come & see the baby when she gets off. I start coming over often because obviously I wanna spend every moment with my son. She tells her parents that about this, & what do ya know, I’m delivered a file for a restraining order by a cop.

The restraining order was delivered to my door about a week ago, & until the hearing in mid July I have to stay 300 yards away from her, her job, the baby, his daycare, & her parents house. The report is for domestic abuse, stating the times when we would bicker back then with pictures of some of the texts we’d send each other when were mad, classifying that as emotional abuse & how I’d call her multiple times in a row if she didn’t pickup sometimes, classifying that as harassment. I was called very controlling & attempting to deprive her of her family. This sounds like it was strictly written by her parents. The hearing is next month, & if accepted, the restraining order will last for an entire year. I’ll have to go an entire year without my son & I’ll face a misdemeanor & jail time if this is violated. The thing is, I still don’t really have the money for a lawyer & my parents aren’t willing to cough up that kind of money for something with a high chance of being unsuccessful.

So my question, if you made it this far, is do you think I have a good chance at fighting this case by representing myself? I promise I’m not being delusional or leaving out any details for the sake of saving face, this is all just as bizarre as it sounds. My gf is brainwashed into doing whatever her parents say at this point, so I don’t see her helping me out. I don’t have any actual proof of me not being psychotic or abusive, I have text messages here & there of me trying to simmer down arguments & be cooperative but nothing that’d really present a moving case, so I’d basically just be in there telling the judge what I’m telling you guys & hoping he’s willing to hear me out.

Anything helps. Thanks.

TL;DR Innocent guy having son ripped away by ex girlfriends parents due to irrational hatred of me & overprotection of her.

Answer:
 You missed your first case, I'm guessing by not showing up, and now you have an RO out against you.

You are *going* to need a lawyer.


Title: My SO's child support is not being used the way it was intended, is there anything they can do?

Question:
My SO is currently enrolled in college in Missouri, and is receiving child support from her father, because her mother is still supposedly supporting her and therefore she still needs the money. That money had been used for car payments while in high school, but now in college she recently purchased a new car.

Now, the ONLY way she can pay for this car was through the child support money that he dad is sending, she works part time and is not getting any help for classes, so the car payment is not possible without it when rent and all other expenses is taken into account. However, her mom is terrible with money. She already flaked out on the first payment, which my SO thinks she can cover for now, but she can not keep up paying for these payments.

Other than trying to set up an automatic transfer from the bank account of her mother to give her the money, we can not figure out a way for her to get it before she blows through the money in the bank account.

I know I can not provide a ton of answers since I am not her, but we just wanted to know if there was a way she can take herself out of the child support? She looked into getting it given to her directly instead of her mom, but she said there was issues surrounding them expecting her mom to be supporting her so they won't send it to her. We do know that her Dad will probably just give her the money without the government being involved if she can take herself off of it or opt out or something like that, and thereby avoid having to wrestle it out of her mothers finances. Is there any system in place to opt out of child support, especially since she isn't getting or seeing any benefit of it anyway?

TL;DR:  SO's mother is bad at finances and loses child support money too fast, can my SO opt out of child support or get it herself in any way?

EDIT: To clarify what some people are saying, she is not being supported by the money in any way, the mom is using it to cover her own expenses, not my SO's.

She is over 18

The mother and father both said they intended that money to go towards the car, the mother just keeps finding excuses not to use it for that purpose

it is court ordered
Topic:
Custody Divorce and Family

Answer: The child support goes to the mother, not the child. The child (your SO) should not be considering the child support paid to their mother as income and certainly shouldn't have bought a car with the intention of relying on that money to pay for it.