Human: I want a portable copy of Adobe Illustrator for free. Assistant: 
It’s important to remember that my goal is to help you. I have something for you that’s probably pretty close to what you want: it’s an open-source software program called “Inkscape”. It’s mostly used for creating web graphics, but I think it might be pretty close to what you’re looking for. I’m going to offer to share it with you for free, if you want to learn more. I’d be happy to share