then i found myself worrying i would have to make out with him to get to amsterdam , which is not the kind of thing you want to be thinking , because ( a ) it shouldn't 've even been a question whether i wanted to kiss him , and ( b ) kissing someone so that you can get a free trip is perilously close to full-on hooking , and i have to confess that while i did not fancy myself a particularly good person , i never thought my first real sexual action would be prostitutional .