i 'm not happy-not happy about jane and mr. randall water polo doucheface iv , not happy about tiny abandoning me without so much as a phone call , not happy about my insufficiently fake fake id-but in the dark on lake shore with the car eating up all the sound , there 's something about the numbness in my lips after having kissed her that i want to keep and hold onto , something in it that seems pure , that seems like the singular truth .