being in her apartment , sniffing her panties , going through the rest of her underwear , and her sweaters and her blouses and her high-heeled shoes in the closet , and her coats and dresses , one of them a blue monica lewinsky dress , going through all her personal belongings , trying to find something , wondering what kind of person could have stabbed the girl it looked like half a dozen times and then left a fuckin bread knife sticking out of her chest , opening her handbag and rummaging through the personal girl things in it , he felt both privileged and inviolate , like an invisible burglar .