somehow , she refrained from adding , may their putrid , disgusting , miserable souls rot in the coldest pit that hell has to offer , and continued , `` i 've just always been curious about my natural mother and the circumstances surrounding my birth and why she gave me up and where i come from and what kind of heritage i might have and if there are any medical conditions i should be aware of and- '' she cut herself off when she realized she was beginning to sound hysterical .