`` and just two weeks after that , katherine i showed up on my doorstep and soon enough she became k-19 , and she was a nice girl with a good heart who liked helping people , and none of them ever lit my heart-god , i ca n't stop it with that word now-on fire like she did , but i just needed her so much and it never felt like enough and she was n't consistent and her inconsistency and my insecurity were this horrible match for each other , but i still loved her , because all of me was wrapped up in her , because i 'd put all my eggs in someone else 's basket , and in the end , after 343 days , i was left with an empty basket and this gnawing endless hole in my gut , but then now i find myself deciding to remember her as a good person with whom i had some good times until we , both of us , got ourselves into an ineradicably bad situation .