i dont know if it is my restless nights , which i can not explain to my siblings or even mom and dad because how do i tell them about what now has become my recurring nightmare of mom wrenching herself free from anthony and falling into an abyss and the strange visions of dad diving in saving her but is then separated from mom in a dense , all , consuming fog , or if i am inadvertently showing signs of being bothered by what is surrounding me , but charlie , nicholas , nicole and kayla are staying too close and are watching me as if theyre waiting for a second head to grow from my neck .