- nora barteau chapters prologue one prologue two one the abomination and a tainted whisper two the sweetness of the dream three sway with me four getting up to speed five the lady in the dark six waking back up into the world seven another night begins eight scripted fate nine fate has a sense of irony ten kismet eleven no second thoughts twelve the course of destiny thirteen the simpleton fourteen the meadow fifteen the illusion and the gilded blood sixteen failing memory seventeen more than a date sub chapter black eighteen welcome to the fold nineteen the request twenty a night on the thin red line twenty one the education twenty two the first truth twenty three the small things twenty four lies in truth to save a life twenty five coming to terms with reality twenty six the facts of life twenty seven the end of one life twenty eight an intimate moment twenty nine come inside thirty - behind the scenes thirty one cursory explanations thirty two preparation thirty three option two thirty four the eventuality thirty five the island in the pale still water thirty six redefining terms thirty seven finding the path thirty eight alternatives to death thirty nine the walk forty coming to terms with a new reality forty one the daylight hours forty two adapting forty three the desire for blood forty four a new kind of different forty five checking the goods forty six approval forty seven finding usefulness forty eight the prelude sub chapter red forty nine the concert fifty the years in between fifty one more time to kill fifty two a pleasant haunting and another new life fifty three the words in the dream fifty four the visage fifty five back to reality fifty six the uncomfortable conversation fifty seven a simple solution fifty eight another unwelcome change fifty nine being alone with a monster sixty the accusation sixty one a world with meaning sixty two talking to a demon sixty three the after-hours proposal sixty four the unwelcome guest sixty five an old friend sixty six the ululation of the nightmare sixty seven what lies within sixty eight the ocean rendered epilogue foreword to the realities that propagate in our minds that we calmly tell ourselves do not exist - i ask you .