when you grow up shuffling between mom 's house and dad 's house as i did-watching them fight in the kitchen every evening in the years before the split , watching them snipe at each other every holiday , every time they ended up face to face with me in the middle-you end up hating the thought of divorce , hating the thought of making so poor a choice of husband that you hate him after a few short years of vicious arguments and tumultuous makeup sex .