but as our time together wore on , as i learned more about gordo and how deep their connection was , but only through fun stories of what men got up to when they were carousing , not war stories ; as i learned about his brother ben , but only amusing stories of brothers getting up to mischief and not how he was lost or how sam felt about that ; and absolutely nothing about his time or activities in the army , why he got out , anything , it became less about him thinking i already knew ( when i could n't possibly ) and more about him keeping things from me .