but the truth was , i 'd run an advertising agency and i 'd rush home and fry chicken and make a pecan pie from scratch all the way down to the crust if it meant three nights of not being alone , watching tv or worse , what i 'd been doing lately : listening to bob seger 's slow songs with candles burning and doing everything to ignore the gaping void in my belly , which meant i did nothing but think of the gaping void in my belly .