and , considering a great deal of the time we shared included intimate moments and quiet conversations where he guided me through stories of cooter , what cooter had done , how i 'd felt , why i 'd made the decisions i 'd made and sam had gone to great lengths to assure me my behavior was perfectly natural , my decisions were rational based on my circumstances , my actions were understandable considering they were self-preserving and i should n't beat myself up about them , it was clear he was not shying away from deep , meaningful , revealing conversations .