and it was just ... we were just ... i forgot who we were and i thought , i thought ... '' i shook my head again , closed my eyes tight , pressed my lips together , opened my eyes and whispered , `` i thought she 'd never had a good dad and i 've never even had a dad but i thought ... if you had a dad and you got sick , the best place to be was pressed close to your dad and he 'd make you feel better . ''