this is something i never thought i 'd have and , my apologies to the sam cooper who means a great deal to me but it 's partly about the fact that i 'm suddenly sleeping with sampson cooper when that 's an unheard of reality after years of fantasy but it 's also about the fact that i was in a shitty , rotten marriage that was hell from the minute i woke to the minute i went to sleep and now i have something the exact opposite and i do n't know how to cope !