i learned to recognize the thorough and primitive duality of man ; i saw that , of the two natures that contended in the field of my consciousness , even if i could rightly be said to be either , i was radically both ; and from an early date even before the course of my scientific discoveries ... had begun to suggest the most naked possibility of such a miracle , i had learned to dwell with pleasure , as a beloved daydream , on the thought of the separation of these elements . ''