i make myself something to eat , and try to reconstruct the events of the previous day , and am happy to discover that i mostly managed to conduct myself normally , and for a few blissful moments , i sit and eat and remember the inside of the bar and companionship , and then my memory catches up with me again and points out the broken shoe , and the broken shoe recalls its missing cousin , and its missing cousin is a memento of a missing day , and i am back in the place where i began .