naturally , the happenings by which the wig and spider became one entity would remain a mystery , but i shall not doubt that this propitious union should have its origins in anything but intention , albeit , not on the part of the spider , but rather in the opportunistic zeal of the wig , which sought , above all else , to distinguish itself from the staggering multitude of rival wigs by elevating its status as an inanimate object to that which was critically important to the survival of the animate : a thick and hairy form of life support , without the benefit of which , a host should simply wither away and die , for this wig would have become that essential accessory by which he derived his fortune , his honor , his integrity , and hence , his sustenance .