it cried to her as nothing else had these many months : it flashed into her as vivid images , made melodically surreal : a gray lausanne street floating up to smash her to jelly ; the cold blue waters of san diego bay rising to crush her ; the mellowing of another dying , nondescript day as she sat immobile in her wheelchair , staring blankly outside , watching the light fade from her room until she was lost in the darkness .