whatever 80s movies we wanted to include , our thoughts our feelings how moms and sisters responded to them , how they set us up for whatever we believed in about life and girls , especially -- better off dead , something about skiing and hanging at the same time -- it was all utterly ridiculous , all utterly important , like looking at an aquarium of goldfish at petco knowing that one of them will soon be called your own , like waiting to be approved for a new car loan , like reading a bad issue of time before a job interview , dread and fear and wonder about the work of hands and minds and what those hands and minds really could create together , a look in nathans eye and courts eye that some times the best creative ventures are haphazard and gimmicky at the same time , that this repurposing would be fun , could be fun , loaded with potential and possibility without over thinking any of it too much , nobody had a pen to write a mission statement down but we believed in it all the same , searing onto our frontal lobes , where the best and worst memories always reside .