during a brief stint of training at an air force base in oklahoma he met his second wife , my mother , who was as different from the vargas wife as one could imagine , and she had one of the kindest natures god ever doled out , and she was in all ways too good for his smart-ass self , but she brought out the better nature in him because of it , and he found out he could love in a compassionate , nurturing way , and he lost ( for a while ) his innate tendency to distrust everyone and feel smarter than everyone - because she was smarter than he was or at least her niceness was way better than his smartness and came from a place his smartness could n't touch , and he knew it and loved her .