i rapped on and on and on in my own head about the meaning of it all and what the true pleasures were , just like this , just like sitting on a rock in a forest and doing nothing at all but just experiencing life , but i never got very far because my short term memory was shot and id just start repeating myself and almost come to an epiphany over and over and over , but then my train of thought would disappear and id be right back at the beginning , doing it all over again .