and remembering his forever for such a long time , ive wrested control of the beginning of that stray story , one story from my ungainly herd of memories , and i can sit with my blue fountain pen and a big chief tablet at a table in the agriculture library across from a shelf of cotton pest quarterlies , and recall for you an even earlier arizona in which that two-door chevy of ours didnt have any seatbelts and the front passenger seatback folded forward with a shove of your hand , or the forward motion of the car if an adult wasnt in the seat .