something else would come upon herthe coldness that seemed to lie behind their religiosity ; a word or citation that reminded her of how the old testament kings and prophets were bloodthirsty and cruel ; the nagging thought that though the bible was supposed to be the unerring word of god , there were countless passages that directly contradicted each other ; the glee her uncle obviously took in imagining all non-christians roasting in hellfire after the rapture of the second coming that seemed cruel and inhumane to her ; the hatred of things that seemed harmless like watching tv or playing video games and yet were regarded as satanic by all the church members ; their general lack of human compassion for others or even any interest in others not born-again christians ; the oppressive feeling that it was unfair that she could not play softball or soccer because she was a girlall these things could not be driven from her mind as hard as she tried .