he didnt think that i could not be interested in him , as he was so interested in himself , and something about the fact that he didnt believe me was suddenly pleasing to my authors ego that wanted the art to be everything , to be more than me , to surpass and overwhelm me and to subtract me from the art , and i was able to enjoy the fact that he had no interest in me and never asked anything about who i was or what i was doing in the library .