point out to them , lead them to the view and leave them to contemplate it on their own , that there are the two selves : the shadow self that some call the ego and who usually wears a body and a name ; and that drives a car around and sometimes identifies with the car , and who is sometimes married and believes himself to be a husband , and who is sometimes married and believes herself to be a wife , the shadow self that some call ego and who often thirsts for recognition and believes himself to be what others think of him .