and the cooled night air would gust her hair and she would think of herself as a child of four , with life and fury striking fireflies from the pavement with her vigor and her steel skates , and she would thank god for her life and for her ability to feel it grow , to feel the need and want for something so much larger than herself she could not name it , but she thanked god for that , and wondered about her brother and prayed that he was safe , and that when he came home he would be full of gusto and story upon story .