the same copy she bought down the street from the movie theater years ago she felt ashamed of it of giving it to him she wanted to say no i love you love your book not that other thing but she could n't speak her voice was trapped in her throat she had never been paralyzed before not even after she kissed the girl she loved for the first time no this was a more powerful intoxication than any love any sex this was fame this was something beyond she just shook her head .