she remembers the night of the ceremony he 'd refused to go at first but of course eventually he was persuaded he 'd sat there brooding between two movie stars two young and beautiful actors with easy smiles and effortless charm and he 'd seethed his features black as a storm-cloud and when they said his name his name among others best adapted screenplay they said and he rose like a titan rose and thundered through the crush of applause up the steps across the stage he took the statue in his grip and stood behind the two others who had actually written the thing had erased everything he 'd done he let them speak briefly so briefly nobody wanted to hear the writers speak they were to be ushered swiftly away in favor of more familiar faces when it was his turn he cleared his throat against the microphone and she saw it in his eyes she saw his fear once he was actually up there and looking out at the room full of people more famous and more loved than he his whole being filled with fear .