so deep , so far that i thought he 'd come out the otherside , there could n't be more and then there was and i dug into his back , tears in my eyes , but i wanted it , needed it , needed to be full of something , of not just the images and stories he created so long ago , but to be full of something tangible , that i could grab onto , hold onto with more than just my memories , so i took all of him , as much of him as there was , though i thought it would kill me , my vision blacking at the edges , my heart racing , my breath shuttering , and i came and came and came and there was always more .