elsie had looked at her face , at the side of her face really , at the tired shoulders , the bare arms , the graying hair caught in a small bun , at the struggle that was her mom , for what seemed a long time while she at the same time also saw a younger , happier mom ; the face from before tim and sarah and evelyn came , from when there had been only the three of them , a happier mom then with a brighter face smiling down at her , laughing often .