that night you go down into deck berthing and all the guys know where you are going the next morning and they ask you a million questions and you sit there and shoot the shit and they say you are so lucky man getting off the boat and you sit there and see them look at you and everythings kind of soft and slo-mo and you finally hit the rack and lay there in your cammies and boots and stare at the flesh-colored paint on the ceiling and wonder where the hell you are .