and you stumble on the ladder up from the catwalk and fall forward and catch yourself and the non-skid burns the palms of your hands and you get your feet under you and really hump your ass up the last two steps and on to the flight deck where the 53s rotors are thunder clapping the air , this big fucking bug squatting down on its tiedown chains and you remember and remember and remember the rotors on the left , those huge blades slicing through the air and remember the rotors on the left .