paradoxically , to even broach such a past life philosophically , and it has to be broached as that which is personal is the substance for all things believed even for one so disconnected to it as i am , he steps into personal landmines of active , painful , and volcanic memory and the remembrance of the novelty of being alive exploring body , mind , and environment for the first time , and as he does so there is a tendency to feel the need to save oneself from the barrage of memory and to take umbrage against the untoward events and their human agents , forgetful of himself as having been one of those agents , and in feeling , not understanding , equating it as happening now ; but i shall try to stay on the outskirts of this explosive mire for a time and save us both from a litany of grievances of outright cowardly recriminations against family members and for all things that have passed away .