you feel like shit as you walk all alone across the flight deck and down into the shelter and you go into a marine berthing and skank a razor off a bunk and head into their head and rip that fucking dull ass razor across your face until tiny spots of blood sprout on your cheeks and your neck and on the side of your mouth , and then you say to yourself , fuck him if this isnt enough and you go back up on the flight deck with the blood dripping down your neck and you go back to your place and come to attention with your face red and your throat hot and the first lieutenant and the skipper are starting down the ranks and when they come to you , the skipper looks at you and then at the first lieutenant and asks him why is this man bleeding and the first lieutenant says he needs to learn to shave sir and the skipper looks at you and nods and you feel like a piece of shit [ 129 ] .