and only recently did he have his epiphany and now finally he knew why he consistently found the stage inferior to literature , why shakespeare live was mostly drivel and embarrassing slapstick and rudimentary tumefied kinematics whereas on the page he shakespeare was prone to self-induced foaming consumption , why the cunt almost always felt guilty upon leaving the theatre , almost as guilty as if he had just ingurgitated a feuilleton or sold a moiety of his library and a quart of his progeny for a foaming racehorse .