today , when i think about mara as a child , i recall her playfulness ; her ability to connect instantly with the plight of a saturday-morning cartoon ; the way she called refrigerators frigidaires and butterflies flutter-bys ; her kindness ... today , my feelings toward that child involve a savage need to protectto keep purebut , as a little boy with limited knowledge of the developed female form , mara lynn was eighty-five pounds of goddess perfection .