so in my perennial ambivalence , assisted this time by being accompanied by a friend , i make excuses to myself , temporize , and , continue to survive : classes to be held soon that require a teacher ( not corpse ) , chili seeds that we now need to purchase so that he can take them to his family during the thai new year festival , songkran , a book that needs to be written , as though i would actually write onetasks , the enemy of thought , to avoid serious subjects that man would go insane contemplating for very long .