he knew he was clumsy and at times almost uncouth in his desire for her , but the mirth , the god damned mirth he felt watching her , rubbing in that rhythmic way he had learned over so many years , the way to build it , to touch at times here and at others there , to tease , pinch lightly , her chuckle , his hand resting upon hers , this woman , so trusting , golden pleasure , her eyes sparkling in semi-darkness , her face sweating slightly , so loving , the look of wonder , that someone should have been so close for so many years , her husband , still sensual and provocative , good to her , needing her and only her , her happiness .