i would not know how to say from how much time , but i felt me as an unaware hamster that races in the wheel and , for how much it bothered me to think of me so fool and fool , considered the job , the loves dragged with inactivity , the superfluous social relationships , the evenings in the disco to kill him of long island as an immense wheel in which i had started racing attending that for some completely unknown motive it opened my gabbietta .