young virgins shall line the streets offering themselves to the prince ; there will be tanks of wine within which poets and minstrels shall be submerged so as to spark inspiration for all the impromptu sonnets and ballads which shall soon be written about the heroism of king emmanuel the brave ; randy heisenpigs shall be brought in and made to entice petty criminals into performing humiliating sexual favors for them on a stage in the main square ; trumpets shall sound and snare drums and cymbals and shamisen , as the vile drunkards laugh and sing and pile on venereal disease-ridden peasant women and climb the banners hanging from the highest inner wall of the castle courtyard to emerge at the top and scream to the heavens of their good fortune at being ruled over by the wisest and fairest and bravest of sovereigns the gods , in their almighty wisdom , could possibly fashion , and then these lush ruffians shall be pulled down from their perches , lashed by silverback gorillas with whips , and finally impaled mercilessly by guardsmen with spears : it will be a delightful affair , like one of your military triumphs !