the trigger-happy hero of salisbury , decorated by ian smith for eliminating the first anc contingent to have crossed over the zambezi ( at the time , south africas de facto northern border ) from kongwa , took his own life in the depths of his despair at ending up as white trash in capetown ; a despair he tried to alleviate by joining the political wing of very same organisation whose soldiers he had met and admired as equals on the field of battle .