it occurred to her just then that she had hated him on sight , from the moment she first saw him in his stateroom with flaglyas ; and now , seeing him up there , on that dragon , laughing , laughing loudly , laughing madly , laughing lonesomely , her loathing sprouted roots , wrapped round her spine , reached greasy tentacles into her skull , where they burrowed through her brain to an aching point just behind her forehead .