) * ( it was as if the air had changed , as if it were now a conduit , no , more a bodily member : not distinct like an arm but like emotions : the touch of an all enveloping presence : all the bodily members united by that something called a `` feeling , '' yet , it was like touch , yet not tactile , more , like the touch of sight , yet , it was still other : stranger , maybe peculiar would be the word they would have chosen : a lick ; but all this was not of a sharply conscious moment nor was it of a vivid conscious memory , as if they knew the date and the time , rather , it just happened , yet , again , having happened they more fully `` knew '' themselves as before it had happened : sighfully , one of the joys of this change is that they did not have to talk about it , merely think , no , again , not just thinking as in plotting or planning or analyzing but as in a glance : all their knowledge and knowing in a glance when the grandkids came , then it was most robust : for they `` fell into '' or just started `` playing '' into this same relationship : especially the children who were still innocent , not not-guilty , just still within a world of magical imagining : as deliciously imagining the worst as the best killing their sibling !