aus is one of my ballasts in a life needing stability , which is why aristotle says that a man who gives to a friend who does not have , in a friendship of inequality , has no reason to complain.68 chapter 13 delusions , dissimulation , and reconciliation the goal , stated or implied , contrived as it is when in fact i write in part to fill the vacuum of time in this violent red and yellow interregnum , remains to scrutinize the self in various lenses , distant and objective , myopic and personal , to determine whether in the present understanding of the accidents that brought about cosmology , the atomic structure of matter , the fruition of organisms , their evolvement , or in darwins words , descent with modification69 and by inference , consciousness as well ( the latter which could only arise from painful accidents that cause perplexity as to their origin , and because of language , more deliberate inquiry into them ) , any moral values can be determined unequivocally ; and if it is proven to the self , after a fair amount of inquiry to which giving even more time and scrutiny would seem ridiculous , that there is none , to deliberate on the best that man can realistically arrive at irrespective of his lack of purpose in the greater scheme of space and timeants that our scurrying around seem equivalent to as attested by any aerial view , as that from the top of the boyoke , and the absolute irrelevance a man , or even a society of men , to that which will come afterwards whose sense of now , if intelligent enough to ponder such questions of what was and will be , will , at best , relegate all earlier times to a vague belief in them having existed at all .