perhaps , this was because he had always been conditioned to hold a positive prejudice toward the nature of light : words such as illumination , bright , and shining were rarely elements of his vocabulary which had negative emotions associated with themand in spite of this , there were times in which he felt intuitively , albeit in a way he was inarticulate to express , that light could , all the same , be wicked , deceptive , and cruel ; that light had a tendency to beguile , perhaps even addle ones mind to an odd , yet momentary depravity : it often seemed that during the befuddling haze and head-splitting light of summer , he was most at a loss with respect to how he must distinguish details of the immediate moment , from those which occurred in dream , imagination and memory .