i could wade in now , take off these pretty sandals that do not really belong to me and wade in up to the knee , sink down , kneel and lie , like one of those thanes cut down in battle except that there would be no blood , no missing limb and besides i havent the nerve , havent the courage although it would be my sort of death , a mere giving up , nothing active , nothing like shoving a foot down , hard and flat on the accelerator .