fun was not what it was , not for me , no , it was more like an agony to have to be the only child present with the prospect of going to a house with more old ladies , maybe twenty or thirty of them , smelling of perfume , pinching and poking at me , and to be driving all the way to the cactus monument with the water bag dripping beside me and mother in the front seat and this strange , large peg person beside me .