he realizednow that he had made real , indisputable progress , right there on the paperthat even as significant as all the earlier victories of the day had beengetting out of bed , bathing , leaving the shitty little room , finding a dennys etc -- they were really nothing in comparison with what he had just done ; and even while had been achieving those earlier victories , in the back of his head , he had never really believed that in the end they would pay off .