-i do n't know what he would have wanted / and i do want to respect his wishes / it was a part of him every word he wrote was like a child to him it meant something / we were never able to have children we tried you know tried tried tried all the bullshit fertility treatments this and that / low sperm count was the problem and there 's some irony in that though i never could pinpoint it david was terribly upset but i 'm glad now / a child would have been a disaster not me not him not us / just as well he was left with his books i do n't know what he would have wanted / i suppose i 'll know when i see it / if there is something anything there .