but now , cloaked impenetrably in nonexistence , all these wanderings , more like tours or jaunts or excursions , took place under a green canopy of concealment ; so far from returning to my shitty little room and then returning to the outside both out of the irreversible conviction that escape was impossible , i breezed in and out again purposefully out of a sense of duty lightly carried , duty to my evil scheme to get even with ned now on the very brink of implementation .