she would consider her relationship with blaise and could see no second thing he could fit into ( this on the level of the unconscious , because in her mind she was still in love ) , but in her unconscious she began to feel the wide world calling her , or re-calling her ( for she had always been fitted in her mind for a big stage ) , and these stories of herself re-told themselves first at the periphery of her thoughts but then closer to the center , until she saw the person that would grow to become herself , and that person would not be with him .