i am surprised that i am writing ; perhaps it is the caring that allows me to , that made me think of writing once she fell back and closed her eyes and fell into deeper and more beautiful slumber than i could have ever imagined ; it must be the caring that made me want to rush to pen and paper and seize and remember it all for tomorrow and all my tomorrows ; for here i am , chasing words across the page happy , yes happy , happier than i have been for years if not forever , happy about the caring , the writing , her sleeping in the next room , happy that she too seems happy .