there had been times at the end of a horrible day , after the girls small insanities finally morphed into sleep , with gene gone somewherealabama , arkansaswhen maryellen had laid in bed , eyes closed , lights off , mind on , and visualized herself in an empty house , a clean house , a house free of people and other clutter , with herself sitting in a recliner , feet up , tea alongside , tiara holding back her newly foiled hair , ermine cloak keeping her just-back-from-the-islands tanned shoulders warm , needles clicking along an unending strand of the finest , most luxurious cashmere yarn .