thats it yknow , my last memory , i wish there were more , but i can feel again now the wrenching in my stomach as you tell me you had to kill this kid yourself as his screams of agony were giving away your position , i wonder if reality will be my last memory , i wonder if i will remember this bullet stopped in mid-air boasting in slow motion in front of me , begging for permission to penetrate my throat , its callous spin and dire consequence mock my life , like the bad last card at a crooked blackjack table it creeps innocently toward me unaware of its deliverers bad intention .