she the eternal worshiper the fan she knew that she would love this thing she did not have to see it to know and so she wondered at the cracks she judged them for the disguised shaking of their faith and then she met him the great author really met him and he said to her the first words he said to her spoken as though to a human -i should have burned the fucking thing / this is going to be ugly they 'll crucify me for this one and i do n't blame them .