she started to thrash and struggle trying to break free of the hands holding her wrists , but they only held her tighter , and suddenly other bodies approached and hands began to tear at her clothes and she began to scream and scream and scream and the screams echoed in the room , and the eyes in the faces of the people all around looked so terrible and ugly and surreal that amanda threw up right into the middle of the canvas and the paint , and then she felt her panties pulled down her legs and she was naked , still held hard by the wrists , and when she started to kick , hands grabbed her legs and ankles and she was lowered down slowly , so slowly , wriggling like a worm on a hook , and all the faces stared at her body and she began to speak to the people watching , begging them to help her , and all there was was the wide eyed stare of drugs and seared minds waiting , and then she felt the paint , cold and sticking beneath her and felt herself spread-eagled in the ultimate humiliation , and when she knew it would happen , she suddenly became clear headed and what came up out of her was pure unadulterated rage and hatred .