i was in a dream , all my life , a nightmare i could n't wake from , flooding my lungs and veins , then electric bright fireworks flashed and the nightmare turned to ecstatic visions , the sky from grey to blue because of a first kiss , the days with silent heartache but fiery unfettered love , the memories i mourn now like gorecki 's singer swept up in her sorrow and loneliness , and the thought came , the beauty of a new dawn , so i promised to keep it sacred , and i pray my way through the rain , the flood , the drowning gasped breaths waiting for those happy days promised me in my youth , the sunrise without remorse .