i could certainly relapse us , and to take back to distress me the whole life in the search of something that i even know what both , i could keep on tormenting me for the episodes of fierce pain that it is our turn to live , to again shake on every action , on every footstep to be completed , on every effort to be done , and to complain me for , what does n't have explanation , that does n't have solution ; yet i finally feel to have understood that it would be only wasted time .