with that he stepped out into the foggy dawn , and here , as if in stepping out from caring for others into careless air he was stripped of a shield , the season hit him square on as a physical blow : jolting him as he faltered and reached out for something to steady him , to regain him balance , found nothing and almost stumbled , then did stumble ; and so , with an instant and almost painful erection , made his way for his car , reeling from the furious onslaught of a jealous earth .