for instance , at his second visit , after he had received dounia 's consent , in the course of conversation , he declared that before making dounia 's acquaintance , he had made up his mind to marry a girl of good reputation , without dowry and , above all , one who had experienced poverty , because , as he explained , a man ought not to be indebted to his wife , but that it is better for a wife to look upon her husband as her benefactor .