but , instead of sitting in his bentley making jokes about mustard , or feeling secure that there would be someone to cut his toenails and clean his butt when he couldnt , he was standing in the desultory rain , in the gloam , splitting the last of the beer between himself and the ribs and smashing the bottle against the stainless lid and swearing harder than at any time he could remember except for a drunken , sexually frustrating night at a drive-in with an on-again off-again high school tease named tessie morran .