i wonder , if time does not exist , what is it that is killing us minute by minute from the very first minute we are born , stretching and kneading and torturing our every particle of mind and body in a ritual that we call life until every particle is worn out and the last working particles give it up and we die and then of course and only then ( then being a word invented to designate an element of time which we are told does not exist and yet we can contemplate somehow ) only then do we understand where weve been in relation to where we will be ( after we die that will be becoming where we are , are being a word to denote being-ness which might be completely unrelated to time once weve broken free of the finite particles to merge with infinity , a word , which also has nothing to do with time other than in being unbounded by its arbitrariness ) .