seeking to escape , he went far away , to a place where he heard his fathers voice and his soft laugh , where he felt his fathers hands as he picked him up or lovingly patted his cheek before saying good-night , and he remembered the feeling of anticipation waiting for his father to come home and how when he did the waves of happiness and contentment washed over him in a flood of love and how whenever something scared him like the sound of thunder crashing nearby , he would feel safe and comforted when his father came in answer to his cries .