he knew when his dreams turned from running and hiding and avoiding and getting fired or evicted , and getting even with the bastards and perhaps scoring some coke or ludes or crack and outwitting and running again , to sniffing , tracing , chasing down , and yes , hallelujah , rapingthough that was such an unfair word , it wasnt really rape , not really uninvited , was it ? , when in the end theyre always willingand hey man , enjoying life again .