- with a matching single-minded self-selection had lan jumped all the hurdles : exams , charitable works , a rounded athlete , public speaking , but , more : not just public personality but private disposition - `` goddess '' - she had to become a goddess , meaning all that she achieved had to be topped - or cored - with desirability : having men desire her , women admiring her , true , but the males - each and everyone desiring her as eternal wife : companion , consort but , more , co-creator .