open a drawer that squeaks so loudly that i can see the other children 's faces squirming as the blackboard duster scrapes down the pock-marked greenboard and the ragged teacher 's tweed arm is sprayed with chalk gas , chalk spray , a pen top and a box of paperclips , nothing to read except hfl3 , item , cost , discount , commission , hfl3 , slam it closed and try the next , friday 's paper , dead and discarded , digested and excreted , the crossword half-finished , david 's work , sharp , hurried writing , slanting in a propelling pencil style , merciless , showy , the writing hand of a competitive man thrusting and jabbing even when he 's alone because he thinks someone will be watching him from afar and will be pleased and will give him a rise and a new company car and a wife and respect and a well kept neighbourhood of swept garages with tools in their proper place , fitted by hagley 's , kitchen , diner , master bedroom , all worked for , paid for , carved out of society 's miserly grasp by his own swift eager alert propelling pencil , mrs colthorpe passing by and throwing an expensive dentist 's grin at me which i nod casually into the wastepaper basket when she 's gone .