then , just as suddenly , stopped , freeze-framed on a single instant of real memoryshe on her back in the night in bed , josh asleep beside her , the place their one-bedroom apartment in boston , the time the night before she would leave for france on what she was describing as a short-term academic excursion but what was in fact ( both she and josh knew , however much they might deny or avoid the subject ) the beginning of the end of their marriage , the circumstance of their permanent separation following several trial ( and error ) separations in the months past .