-look at me vanessa i 'm not getting any younger / huh / just the opposite / my father-in-law has pretty advanced dementia it was a hard thing for david to go through / he always had a rough relationship with his father he was always putting off reconciliation he would always say that he 'd fix it next year next time you know how it goes and then of course it was too late he went to visit his father once and when he came back he could hardly speak not for days eventually he told me about it / he got there and his father did not recognize him he kept asking for his son the little boy who had been his child only yesterday now all grown up a sixty year-old-man / imagine that one day you open your eyes and your child has become an old man this world is revolting what 's the point of going on if it can all be wiped out all just vanish decades of your life all your relationships what is the point of being alive if we 're going to die i honestly do n't understand / david sat there beside his father who did not recognize him and he tried to make conversation the old man pissed his pants did n't even realize it just sat there in his sadness soaking in cooling urine david told me later that he wanted to strangle him not because he wanted to hurt him just because he knew that it was what his father his true father would have wanted / for david the worst part the most horrible aspect of the whole thing he never got to hear his father forgive him for everything never got to hear him apologize either / david apologized for everything and that old man that stranger just looked confused and asked what the hell he was talking about .