she called me to talk and i am worse than you , worse , because i knew and i should have gone to see her last night , back late from a party with music and the comfort of close dancing bodies and hand holding , stephen and i had tiptoed into the damp little bungalow , trying to be quiet , trying not to wake my parents as we felt our way through the dark , bumping against the ugly furniture and stifling giggles , feeling our way out of clothes and into bed , lying close .