it is useless , and the time awfully fails me , to prolong this description ; no one has ever suffered such torments , let that suffice ; and yet even to these , habit brought -- no , not alleviation -- but a certain callousness of soul , a certain acquiescence of despair ; and my punishment might have gone on for years , but for the last calamity which has now fallen , and which has finally severed me from my own face and nature .