she 'd put her face against the cold dark glass , actually considering-yes , for just a moment she had-slamming her head right through it and cutting her throat , anything to blot out that awful gray vision of the future ahead and the past behind , but in the end she had simply turned around and slid down to the floor , clasping her bare legs below the hem of the short skirt she 'd been wearing and putting her forehead against her upraised knees and closing her eyes .