the monkey grinned at him as he crawled down the length of the storage area between boxes piled on top of boxes , past the set of navigation books and the photograph albums with their fume of old chemicals and the souvenirs and the old clothes , and hal thought : if it begins to clap its cymbals together now and move in my hand , l 'll scream , and if i scream , it 'll do more than grin , it 'll start to laugh , to laugh at me , and then i 'll go crazy and they 'll find me in here , drooling and laughing crazy , i 'll be crazy , oh please dear god , please dear jesus , do n't let me go crazy -- he reached the far end and clawed two boxes aside , spilling one of them , and jammed the monkey back into the ralston-purina box in the farthest corner .