she did not have many orgasms with him , but his very roughness brought her some , and in the weeks before it had ended she bad begun to feel a mature woman 's greediness for good sex , a desire that was bewilderingly intermixed with other feelings : dislike for both dan and herself , a feeling that no sex that depended so much on humiliation and domination could really be called 'good sex , ' and self-contempt for her own inability to call a halt to a relationship that seemed based on destructive feelings .