here is what i remember most clearly about that part of my other life : a hot afternoon toward the end of my month-long stay in an expensive convalescent home , the expensive air conditioning broken , tied down in my bed , a soap opera on the television , a thousand midnight bells ringing in my head , pain burning and stiffening my right side like a poker , my missing right arm itching , my missing right fingers twitching , no more oxycontin due for awhile ( i do n't know how long , because telling time is beyond me ) , and a nurse swims out of the red , a creature coming to look at the monkey in the cage , and the nurse says : `` are you ready to visit with your wife ? ''