he felt scared in a way that was both vague and specific ; it was the way he felt scared when he was sitting on dr handor 's examination table in his underpants , waiting for the doctor to come in and knowing his mother was out in the waiting room , taking up most of one sofa , a book ( most likely norman vincent peak 's the power of positive thinking or dr jarvis 's vermont folk medicine ) held firmly up to her eyes like a hymnal .