he remembered the muddy courtyard , he remembered this same man in a different envelope of skin asking who he was , he remembered thinking : i 'll tell you anything you want to know if only you 'll stop looking at me with those freaked-out eyes of yours , sure , because i 'm only a kid , and that 's what kids do , they tell , they tell everything - then he remembered his mother 's voice , that tough voice , asking him if he was going to spill his guts to this guy .