but he was n't in his eyes-the essential he who had washed her back and punched her in the gut and had done both because he worried about her , worried a lot , the he who had once tried to braid her hair when she was seven , made a botch of it , and then got giggling with her about the way it stuck out everyway , the he who knew how to make cinnamon eggnogs on sunday that tasted better than anything you could buy for a quarter at the derry ice cream bar , the father-he , maleman of her life , delivering a mixed post from that other sexual state .