but still , sometimes , in the heart of winter when the light outside seemed yellow-sleepy , like a cat curled up on a sofa , when mrs douglas was droning on about mathematics ( how to carry down in long division or how to find the common denominator of two fractions so you could add them ) or reading the questions from shining bridges or talking about tin deposits in paraguay , on those days when it seemed that school would never end and it did n't matter if it did n't because all the world outside was slush ... on those days ben would sometimes look sideways at beverly , stealing her face , and his heart would both hurt desperately and somehow grow brighter at the same time .