mr and mrs cavell , they 'd laugh , too , if they happened to be in the room , and jonesy remembered once , they must have been fifteen , sixteen , and duddits of course was whatever he was , duddits cavell 's age was never going to change , that was what was so beautiful and scary about him , and this one time alfie cavell had started crying , saying boys , if you only knew what this means , to me and to the missus , if you only knew what it means to douglas ?