not even the prospect of a miserably uncomfortable journey in company with a parent in a state of high fury can dampen my spirits , for at the end of it there awaits for me all of my dear parrysparries ? like shining ones at the gates of the celestial city , ushering me in to eternal restor at least eternal in the sense that i believe it will be many , many years before my mother is again willing to risk her reputation by forcing me to accompany her anywhere outside the circle of our own warwickshire friends , who are already well-aware that my flaws and eccentricities are due only to my own obstinacy .