all the long , endless nights sitting in the wing-chair and waiting for dawn ; all the days he 'd spent feeling like a ghost inside his own skin ; the inability to remember a sentence unless he read it three times ; the phone numbers , once carried in his head , which he now had to look up a memory came then , one which simultaneously summed up and justified the anger he felt as he looked at these bald creatures with iding , their darkly golden eyes and almost blinding auras .