Personal finance experts don’t get wealthy by following their own advice
This seems like a good place to be vulnerable and ask for advice.I am 35 and still spend like in a teenager. I grew up really poor where if the money didn’t get spent right away it would just sort of disappear, into drugs or beer or whatever my mom and stepdad were spending it on. My only real asset is my house which has appreciate significantly in value, but all it would take is one job loss to get me behind on that. I take Adderall because it makes me an effective engineer and I’ve really struggled for multi year periods where I’ve tried to stop it, but my life gets measurably worse. I cashed out my $5,000 at one point and blew it on I don’t even know what, but it was something stupid I’m sure.I guess the real enemy is future me. I don’t feel like I can consistently trust myself to make good financial decisions so the me of right now acts as if future me will just blow all my savings irresponsibly anyway. It’s depressing just writing it out.I wish I could put money into an account that would then only disburse small amounts of it over the year, and I couldn’t override that.I’m really ashamed of it but end up paying the mortgage with one biweekly paycheck, paying all my bills with the next biweekly paycheck, and despite making a very good salary for where I live, I’m living paycheck to paycheck.I don’t really know how to develop impulse control, I spend hours and hours scrolling Amazon and websites trying to think of things to buy.I know the answer is “just act like an adult” but I guess spending has become a coping mechanism because I’ve got a disabled kid, I don’t really know how to enjoy things that aren’t going to Costco or buying a new 3D printer or a shiny new computer.Is there anyone here who has gone from being extremely irresponsible with money to having savings? How do I get over the trauma of my grandparents losing millions of dollars in the 2008 financial collapse, which happened right as I came of age? How do I stop “shopscrolling” Amazon until 2 in the morning?I know it’s pathetic, and I feel like this is a place I might get an answer that’s actionable.