Ask HN: If you used to be socially awkward and shy, how did you improve?
These comments make me feel like I'm getting old, which is weird to me. There are so many proactive comments that remind me of my 18 year old self.Social awkwardness, for me and for a lot of people I know, sort of just vanished with age.
- The same kind of weird, unexplainable, vicious attitude that passes for cool among teenagers and some early adults fades for most people. The people who still adhere to that code go off and form their own cliques and you just don't see them anymore.
- Real adulthood is simpler socially. With personal stability (job, hobbies, network, etc.) and age you care less and less what people think and put less emphasis on what people think about you.
- At the same time, you judge people less and less because, what does your judgment really matter? And when you judge people less you judge yourself less.
- A lot of awkwardness is a function of trying hard to fit a social shape and failing. When you let go of most social expectations of yourself and others, in my experience mostly because of age and stability, you lose the awkwardness.If you really need help with social anxiety I have heard that there are psychologists who are good at treating it, although I have never used one myself.Take some comfort in knowing that it will probably pass with time.