Ask HN: How to deal with regret of not having kids
You're not gonna read all these comments, are you?Hope you will still have luck, but in the meantime - sorry if it sounds harsh but seems like quickest way to communicate it - if you are not ok with yourself and with your life, I don't think you want to have kids.It's like a polish proverb regarding relationships: don't try to find a girl who will make you happy, find the happiness within yourself and then some girl will find that.If you cannot make it ok with yourself without kids I don't think it's a situation which you want to put them into. Seriously, there are many things that you cannot change about the world and about your kids. Being able to accept reality seems useful.Also I've talked with quite a few people whose parents were all about kids - that was all they wanted from life. And these people as kids (as adults too) were kind of lost. Because if my parents only care about their children, what is there to care about in life? Should I also make kids ASAP and care about them? I mean, it is our biology but it's also a vicious circle.Other than that you have some options, adoption, some other woman can carry it for both of you etc.I wish you all the best.