Pretending OOP Never Happened
Usually when I see somebody arguing against object-oriented programming, I don't see them arguing for functional programming, but instead arguing for procedural (like Cobol, Basic, or Pascal) programming.  What they usually miss is that there's a reason procedural programming was abandoned some time around the mid-90's, and for good reason: you can't realistically develop useful software in pure-procedural way without introducing a lot of global state.  Even if you look at well-designed non-OO code like, say the Linux kernel, you'll see that there are object oriented concepts like information hiding and polymorphism all over the place; they just don't formalize them with the "class" or "private" keywords.  Unfortunately, what I see most programmers do is give up on OO design (and never even consider FP) and instead create global state that they call "singletons" to pretend that they didn't just create a global variable.  Because, as we all know, global variables are bad, but too few of us actually remember why.