A fork() in the road
Okay, this one has me laughing out loud.  Of COURSE Microsoft doesn't like fork()... Windows pretty much can't do it.  I'll admit, there have been a lot of times I wish there was a more streamlined way to spawn processes on Linux (particularly daemons) but when I don't have fork() I always end up missing it.  I'd take this paper a lot more seriously if it came from someone with a less obvious bias.