A Buddhist monk confronts Japan's suicide culture (2013)
This is one of my favourite New Yorker articles.  I wish they published more articles like this.Suicidal thoughts are a really tough thing to deal with.  I've struggled with them for my entire adult life -- more than 20 years now, and counting.  They're also deeply personal, and it's hard to find a one-size-fits-all method of helping people through them.In my case, I find them perversely soothing.  Planning it out, and planning out the accompanying clean-up, is strangely calming for me; I suspect at least part of it is because it's applying a feeling of control and structure to otherwise chaotic, painful, or confusing situations.  As I run through details in my head, the feelings that incited the thoughts begin to dimish.I know, rationally, that it would be devastating for those left behind.  I know, rationally, that no amount of preparation or planning will make it easier or less painful for them.  I know, rationally, that suicide is not a solution for anything.But it feels like all of the above.  It feels like a release, like a perfect, lasting solution to pain and confusion and distress I've carried with me for so long.I'm lucky that I've found some kind of equilibrium that's allowed me to work through them when they occur, relatively harmlessly.  I know others who aren't so lucky, and who haven't found something that works for them.  Some of thoem have died; others have survived, but aren't whole since.It's something that's hard for us to talk about, and current society doesn't seem predisposed to talk about.  Many of those suffering the most are faced by a media climate that's not helpful or supportive, and makes it hard for some of the most emotionally and psychologically vulnerable to seek help because of who they were born.If you've ever had thoughts, please don't suffer in silence: try to find someone, anyone, to talk to.  In the UK, we have the Samaritans[1] on 116123 (free to call).  There's also Breathing Space Scotland[2] on 0800 83 85 87 (also free).[1]: https://www.samaritans.org/how-we-can-help/contact-samaritan...[2]: https://breathingspace.scot/