Why 30 is the decade friends disappear
As I read the responses to this article, I thought of the pontification upon science-based reasons and, what I experience as simply reality. My life experience has taught me that as we age, family gains greater dominance as the source of social connection and support than friends -- and a lack of immediate and/or extended family results in greater and greater lonliness as the years pass. Family can range from one person -- a spouse or significant other -- to a large family including siblings, children, cousins. One's tribe becomes more important. Friends grow busy with their tribe and those outside the tribe become "my dear friends" but not your close, daily bud.I have seen this change occur over the decades and wish I had known when I was younger. I may have made different choices that would have changed my life today.Today I work from a home office, live alone, have no family within 2000 miles and my home is in country. I love business, tech and the outdoors. I am also at that everything is work stage in a start up. I am told that I am confident, smart and independent.What others do not know is that I am so deeply aware of my aloneness that I do crazy tests to determine if I die here how long will it take for someone to wonder about me and find me -- and more important..find and feed the two cats that live with me?Right now, it is day 36. In that time not one person has contacted me as a friend. I am overwhelmed with strangers -- in my spam folder, in my twitter box, in posts on FacebookMy husband died recently..in his 50s. That same year, my inlaws, my parents and my sister passed away. My 20'ish son did what sons do...graduate from college and move to a beach area far, far away and start his life.Clubs? Civic groups? A community center? None of those are here.When I am actively calling wives, I can get companionship. But the refrain I hear over and over is about family or work obligations. There are women who are out hunting for a male partner. Note.. they are not looking for a female best friend. I am not looking for a new spouse.So I wonder how long I can live like this as it is so very quiet and deeply sad in an odd way. I never anticipated that my crazy busy and people-filled life would evolve to this stage. I do not recommend it.