Paul Graham’s thoughts, discoveries, and tricks on parenthood
I have a point to make that I feel intersects the conversations here.It concerns something I didn't figure out until I was older, that children are brought into existence w/o their consent.Now I don't believe this is* (edit: fixed) an evil or unethical act; it's simply an unavoidable facet of reality. However, it creates a debt to children so massive, that it can't be fully repaid in a lifetime.In short, the debt between children & parents only ever runs one way.Because of this, I have a permanent & total obligation to my kids' well being, while they in-turn owe me nothing for a lifetime of labor on their belhaf (which as a single parent - changing diapers & earning income - has been substantial).It doesn't mean my grown kids should or shouldn't contribute to my welfare. It means that my responsibility is to continually tip the scales toward the outcomes they desire.In our case we operate as one household & there are different obligations in play there. But the Original Debt indicates that any shortfalls (in labor, etc) be filled by me, unless & until more practical solutions are worked out.My reward is that this really efficient mindset solves lots of problems in advance.