"There's Something About Mary Poppins": The amazing secret of how she gets her power to fly.
longer," a man's Valentine's gift of nylon roses fails to warm his girlfriend's heart.
"The Wild Wild West Side Story": It's the posse against the lawless, and they both have some wicked ballet moves.
So many movies out there, so little time. Think how many more you'd be able to see if you could view two of them simultaneously - - or better yet, "mashed" together a la the music "mash-ups" popular at dance clubs. This week's contest: Find two well-known movies -- oh, what the hey, you can use plays and TV shows, too - - whose titles have a significant word in common, combine their titles, and describe the hybrid. The descriptions can play off either their plots or just the words in the titles, as in the examples above.
Winner gets the Inker, the official Style Invitational trophy. But what you really want to try for is first runner-up, because that person will get something even better than the Little Naked Bookend With a Bag on the Head: the custom-made, one-of-a-kind leaded-glass Style Invitational Magnet box pictured here, lovingly crafted and donated by erstwhile Loser Peyton Coyner of Afton, Va. Magnets not included because we're just really petty.
Other runners-up win a coveted Style Invitational Loser T-shirt. Honorable mentions get one of the lusted-after Style Invitational Magnets, also pictured here. One prize per entrant per week. Send your entries by e-mail to losers@washpost.com or, if you really have to, by fax to 202-334-4312. Deadline is Monday, May 23. Put the week number in the subject line of your e-mail, or it risks being ignored as spam. Include your name, postal address and phone number with your entry. Contests are judged on the basis of humor and originality. All entries become the property of The Washington Post. Entries may be edited for taste or content. Results will be published June 12. No purchase required for entry. Employees of The Washington Post, and their immediate relatives, are not eligible for prizes. Pseudonymous entries will be disqualified. This week's contest was suggested by Peter Metrinko of Chantilly.
Report from Week 606, in which we asked for poems based on articles from that week's Washington Post: The week's big news was the selection of the new pope and its aftermath (not to mention its beforemath), but the Losers found time to weigh in on dozens of other matters as well, proving that some of them occasionally read another page of the newspaper besides this one.
The gays who would marry, to whom we say nope.
The gals who now carry, for priesthood, a hope.
But who'd rather not tarry, and ask for the rope.
These souls should be chary of Benny the Pope.
Who gave whom the finger.
What's as good as a solution is a scapegoat we can blame.
So we're haulin' Cookie Monster up for scarfin' down s'mores.
We'll give 'im some new name like "Biff, the Tofu-Eatin' Troll."
For our chubby little children need protectin' from themselves.
So we're haulin' Cookie Monster up for eatin' macaroons.
Saying feds are "too lax,"
And "closed borders" he backs.
Oh, look, there's some puffin'!
It's black, don't mean nuffin'.
But the same -- still no pope.
If the conclave has spoken.
Gee, what are they smokin'?
White smoke? White smoke? White smoke? Nope.
Black smoke. Black smoke. Black smoke. Pope!
The next pope would never be Ratzinger.
The aria sung by the fat singer.
For co-opting the papal URL?
Will be yo' nex' requarment.
Could it be? Some sanity?
The party, still, of Lincoln?
To hear of things that taint it.
Is truly sacred -- ain't it?
Then send it heere, and winneth ye some crappe.
More Honorable Mentions appear on washingtonpost.com.