I've been feeling kickback from family members and so I felt the need to set the record straight. I have never been a good person in the eyes of my mother. She shares everything with everyone, creating this den of misery. Her perceptions are often false and cruel. I know this, because this is the life I used to lead. The drama I fed off of.
Setting the record straight. I am in recovery. I've got a little over 4 months in. I'm recovering from codependency. If you don't know what that is or think it is just that I NEED someone, please check out www.codependentmormon.com.
I have NOT been in contact with my mother since I started this journey. My mother is codependent. I am not mad at my mother, I am in recovery. So it would be exactly like if I were in recovery from alcoholism, I would limit my exposure to other alcoholics.
I am learning and growing. I love and feel loved. I am in a really good place. I am writing again. I am happy. My home is peaceful. There is joy there. It is a place of refuge from the storms of life. It is becoming what it always should have been.
Sometimes we have to let go of things. Sometimes those things are family members. I don't feel like I'm missing anything. Maybe one day I can have a relationship with my mother, but as I've never had one, I doubt I ever will. I can't change people. I can only change myself.
So, if you talk to my mom and she says horrible things about me, remember she is codependent. That is the language they speak. The drama they feed off of.
I have no drama in my life. HOLY CRAP is it A-MA-ZING.