When you're preoccupied with thoughts such as "Why doesn't she just leave?", "Why isn't she thinking about her kids?" or "She must have done something for him to react that way", then you don't have the time or capacity to support her. Remember that the survivor is not responsible. Domestic violence is not a matter of anger or a disagreement between partners; domestic violence is a pattern of continuous coercive and controlling behaviours used by one person over another to gain power and control.