Somewhere in the vast expanses of The Internet I came across a photo of dogs. Possibly the best photo of dogs I've ever seen. I say it's the best not in terms of composition, mind you, but in terms of pure joy it brought me. Behold!
Somewhere in history all of these dogs existed in the same place at the same time and posed for a picture. Think about that for a second and realize we live in the best possible of all worlds. Now, I am no dog expert, but I do have 57 other people's dogs in my Camera Roll (not picture of other dogs, but different dogs ). Some of the dogs I met in places like Lowes or riding on a jet ski on the White River - the dog was on the jet ski, not me.
So I feel I am more than qualified to (possibly drunkenly) rank all of these puppers. So here I go.
Look, I don't want to pick on the little guy, but you can't explain why he is the only one who clearly in this for the treat they were promised.
Come on, bro. Tallest in back, shortest in front. It's not that difficult.
I'm quite sure this gal is someone's new girlfriend and the night will end with her crying and lose her phone.
Just looking at this dog makes me feel like I didn't clean my room or sass-talked an adult or something.
I'm not sure what death's door looks like, but this guy probably does. Don't get too attached to him.
I know some people are into that whole "ugly is cute" thing, but not me. Clearly, personality is a 10 though.
Doesn't want to be here, but is making the most of it. Killer mustache moves him up at least two spots.
Speaking of someone who doesn't want to be here! What, is there a Scooby Doo marathon you're missing?
Knocked down a few spots for being the one who has to make a funny face in the group photo.
Probably tells everyone he finished first in puppy training school.
Never breaks eye contact when pooping.
Head tilt and tongue out is the "skarm" of the dog world.
Almost didn't see you there, buddy. A for effort, though. Good boy!
Takes up most of the couch when watching movies, but no one really minds.
Always lets owner blame him for smells in the house. Doesn't even mind.
Is dealing with a pretty massive hangover like a champ and not complaining.
Does a great Batman impression (the Christian Bale one).
Always looks good in Instagram photos.
Proof that a great smile can get you far.
Doesn't even mind being dressed up as a hot dog every Halloween or that his humans culturally appropriate his breed in all of their home decor.
When she sticks her head out of the car window, you can feel the car ready to take off.
Has been cast in eight Hollywood movies as "The dog in the alley that urinates on the down-and-out unlikely hero in the first act."
Knows how to keep a secret.
Backs you in a fight even when you're in the wrong.
Knows a guy who knows a guy.
Can hear what you're thinking and is totally psyched you like Arrested Development too.
Has hiked more miles that you could ever hope to.
I mean come on! You know this dude is always carrying.
"What breed am I? Doesn't even matter, now watch as I go save this child from a burning building and catch two frisbees at the same time."