The Language of Love with Dr. Laura Berman
The Body Keeps the Score: How Trauma Can Impact Our Physical Forms and Sexual Pleasure
On today's episode of "The Language of Love," Dr. Laura Berman talks about the most common challenges that couples report. She reveals that the top complaint that partners have is uneven desire when one partner has a higher libido than the other, and how that can lead to trouble throughout their relationship. She says one issue is that even though many women struggle with some form of sexual dysfunction, whether that is lack of desire, difficulty reaching orgasm, or pain during intercourse, the medical community has only just begun to put attention into addressing female sexual pleasure. Hence, while men can turn to options like Viagra or Cialis, women are left with few, if any options, for improved sexual response, and most are too ashamed to even raise the issue with their doctor.
So, what should women with low desire do? First, Dr. Berman says women need to go to their doctor for a hormone panel as well as to investigate whether any medications they are on may cause sexual side effects (popular prescriptions like anti-depressants and hormonal contraceptives can have downsides in the bedroom). After investigating possible physical causes and troubleshooting possible solutions, Dr. Berman says she would also want to delve into a woman's past and look at issues like body image, past sexual trauma, sexual shame related to religious or cultural upbringing. Our bodies can carry cellular trauma which can be passed on genetically and Dr. Berman explains that unless we get in touch with our physical selves and where we might be carrying tension or dis-ease, we won't be able to fully release, whether we are in or out of the bedroom. Hear her reveal how she uses somatic therapy to tap into her physical body and how you can start 'being in body' right now.
More episodes from The Language of Love with Dr. Laura Berman
Healing through Yoga with Paul Denniston
On this very special episode of "The Language of Love," Dr. Laura Berman sits down with her friend and yoga expert, Paul Denniston. Author of the groundbreaking book "Healing through Yoga," Denniston has personally helped Dr. Berman through the grief of her son's death and showed her ways that yoga can help us to channel, heal, and process our deepest wounds. Denniston is the founder of Grief Yoga and has built his practice around the five fundamental keys of healing: Awareness, Expression, Connection, Surrender, and Evolution. With each of these stages, yoga positions and meditations can help you to further your spiritual practice and unblock energy channels so that you can live your most fulfilling, love-filled existence. In this episode, Denniston and Dr. Berman also talk about how anger can actually be one of our greatest teachers, and how tapping into our anger in a healthy way can help to free us from unwanted experiences and negative thought patterns. While we often run away from anger or try to deny its existence, Denniston and Dr. Berman both share how the expression of anger can be revolutionary for both personal and collective healing. "We all need to share our stories. Being heard is one of the most fundamental needs of human beings," says Dr. Berman. "And that includes anger. Grief can bring up so much anger, and I have times where I just need to beat a cushion with a bat, or scream into a pillow, and paint angrily until I can move that emotion through me. We need to honor our anger and give it freedom to move and be expressed." In his book, Denniston shares over 75 meditations and yoga positions that can help even beginner yogis tap into the connection between the body and the spirit. With yoga, we can train our bodies to be more resilient, more present, and more able to withstand the ebbs and flows of life.
How to Increase Desire in the Bedroom
On this episode of "The Language of Love," sex therapist Dr. Laura Berman talks about the trouble with mismatched libidos and why so many couples struggle to establish complementary sex drives. "One of the most common issues my clients have is that one partner wants more sex than the other," says Dr. Berman. "Generally, this is an issue that presents early on in a relationship, but over time the issue grows and grows…as does the resentment." Dr. Berman explains that mismatched libidos can often trigger a vicious cycle, a cycle which couples may not even be aware of or realizing that they are perpetuating. "Here is what often happens: The partner who keeps getting turned down for sex becomes resentful and insecure. They start to pull away, sometimes intentionally, sometimes unconsciously. The pet names and romance and affection start to disappear. As these things fall by the wayside, the sex drive only continues to plummet and both partners grow apart bit by bit. This is why mismatched libidos can end up derailing your entire marriage, if the issue is left untreated." So what can couples do? In this episode, Dr. Berman explains how you can naturally increase your libido, such as by doing something dangerous together. "If you go on a roller coaster, or go skydiving, or even just watch a scary movie together, it can increase adrenaline and dopamine which will mimic that excitement you first felt for each other when you began dating," says Dr. Berman. Dr. Berman also discusses how couples can start to find moments for spontaneity and create more eroticism and novelty in the bedroom. "You can have the sex life of your dreams," says Dr. Berman. "But you're the one responsible for making that happen. It won't just occur overnight, and you have to be willing to get of your comfort zone and really challenge yourself to take ownership of your sexuality."
The Truth about Manifesting Your Desires: A Conversation with Maureen Riley
On this episode of "The Language of Love," Dr. Laura Berman sits down with intuitive consultant, life coach, and mindfulness-based psychotherapist Maureen Riley. Dr. Berman has been a longtime client of Maureen Riley, and she reveals that Riley's wisdom and intuition has helped her deeply. Riley is committed to teaching people how to unlock their own potential and get out of their own way. If you're starting 2022 with a list of daring resolutions and hopes for the New Year, this is a must-listen episode that will teach you what you need to know in order to make your resolutions a reality. "Imagine being able track back to the hidden source of what's blocking you while you simultaneously access the power within that unlocks, opens and shifts you into a new reality- one that's aligned with your Wholeness, well Being, and Source of inner guidance," Riley states. "Once activated, this energy and intelligence can repair your health, put your life into alignment with your true purpose and then, by sacred law, activates your personal stream of abundance. Imagine having what it REALLY takes to re-ignite and flourish, trusting yourself and life again." On this episode, Riley explains what manifesting really is, and challenges some of the misconceptions people may have about manifesting and how to apply it your own life.