Mental Strength
How to Get Motivated Every Day When You Wake Up
It's Monday morning. The alarm rings. What's the first thought that comes to mind when you open your eyes?
"I really don't want to go to work today", "I have such a long day ahead, what a dread", or "Yes! It's a brand new week ahead! Looking forward to getting lots done."
Whatever your response may be, ask yourself this question:
"What is it that made you feel unmotivated?" What was driving you to feel negative or positive about your Monday ahead? How to get motivated?
I used to have a colleague by the name of Nancy. She came to work at the same time every morning, and would leave at 6.30 sharp every evening. Not a minute earlier, not a minute later. She was known to be the office grinch as she was often grumpy towards everyone, so much so people would avoid her whenever possible. She complained about everything under the sun.
I had a brief conversation with her one morning in the office lounge where we were both getting coffee. She told me she had been working with the company for over 20 years! When she told me that, I asked her what motivated her to stay on for so long, and her reply was simply "I don't know. It's a job that pays the bills, and is close to where I live." With that, she walked away and I was left standing alone in the lounge with my hot coffee, at a loss for words.
How could someone be doing the exact same thing for over 20 years? And she clearly doesn't enjoy her work, what with all that complaints and grouchy attitude. So why hasn't she done anything about it?
The 2 Types of People
This might be an extreme case, but I'm sure you must know of people who have been doing the same thing for years and seem to not have any problem staying stagnant. Whether it be in their marriage, job, or personal endeavors, they seem to be getting along just fine without progressing towards anything 'better'.
On the other hand, I'm sure you would also know of individuals who focus on the positive, set goals and are constantly pushing themselves to greater heights. Be it promotions at work, building a family, celebrating milestones in their marriage or relationships, upgrading houses and cars, setting up new businesses, or going to school again, these individuals seem to constantly progress towards something that improves or enhances their life.
So what's the difference between these 2 category of individuals?
What you feel like or don't feel like doing, boils down to one thing. And that is motivation. It is the force, or lack of, that keeps driving you forward to overcome challenges and obstacles to achieve your goals.
Without motivation, you'll give up after a few failed attempts or even on the first tough challenge that comes your way. Or, in the case of Nancy, just remain where you are: unhappy yet not doing anything to progress ahead.
What is Motivation, Really?
Whether you realize it or not, motivation is a huge force in your life; and it needs to be harnessed in order to excel and actually enjoy whatever it is that you're doing on a daily basis.
Unfortunately, many overgeneralize the word motivation. We think of being either motivated or demotivated as a simple "yes" or "no" state of being.
But motivation is not a switch. Motivation is a flow. To feel motivated, you need to dive beyond the surface. Just reading a motivational quote, being encouraged by your friends or even mentor won't help you build sustainable motivation in the long run.
You can think of the motivation that we want to achieve like the Sun (self-sustaining and long lasting), which supplies a constant influx of energy to all life on Earth. Just like the Sun, your "motivation engine" has different layers, starting from the core and spreading out to the surface. The surface is what you see, but the real process is driven from the core; and that's the most important part… I'll explain why in a moment.
If you can create a self sustaining motivation engine, you'll not only be able to find more meaning and purpose in your life, but you'll be able to enjoy every minute of what you're doing, which will make your roles and responsibilities less of a chore. Now wouldn't that be a game changer?
Let me help you understand this motivation flow better, by breaking down the Motivation Engine into 3 parts:
Core – Purpose
Support – Enablers
Surface – Acknowledgement
I'd say we're most familiar with layers 2 and 3, as we come into direct contact with both of them frequently.
The Second Layer: Support – Enablers
In essence, the second layer of the Motivation Engine (also known as Enablers) is what supports your goals. They can magnify the motivation core you have, or speed up the momentum that you build. Basically, they create favorable circumstances for things to go smoothly.
The Third Layer: Surface – Acknowledgement
The third layer, also known as Acknowledgement, encompasses any type of external recognition that might give you motivation. It may come in the form of respect or recognition, such as compliments and praise.
Or it could be emotional support through encouragement, feedback and constructive criticism. It could also be affiliation, where you have mutual companions or buddies sharing the same goal or burden with you.
This is generally what you see on the surface when you look at other people. You see the external acknowledgement, respect, and recognition they're getting.
The Innermost Layer: Core – Purpose
But what's most important, and the true driving force behind your Motivation flow, is the innermost core – your Purpose. Your purpose is what differentiates the motivated from the demotivated, the achievers from the underachievers, the happy from the unhappy.
Your motivational core is your Purpose, and is sustained by two things: Having Meaning, and Forward Movement. With these two as a foundation, you'll have a power source that will feed you motivational energy indefinitely.
So, how do you do these two things?
How to Sustain Your Purpose
Having Meaning is simple. Just ask yourself a question: Why?
Why are you pursuing a certain goal? If the reason is vague or unclear, then your motivational energy will be the same. While motivation provides you energy to do something, that energy needs to be focused somewhere. So without meaning, there is no direction for your energy to be focused on.
Yet, having a meaningful objective doesn't mean you have to change the world or create A huge impact on society. The secret to meaningful work is simple: it should contribute value to something or someone that matters to you.
Next up is gaining Forward Movement. In short, this means to just keep moving. Like a snowball, motivation from having progress creates momentum. So to keep this up, you have to keep moving.
And the good news is, your progress doesn't have to be huge for you to recognize it. Small amounts of progress can be just as motivating, as long as they keep coming. Like driving a car, you may be really impatient if you're at a complete halt. But, it lessens if you're moving forward–even if you're moving slowly.
Creating a simple progress indicator like checklists or milestones, are a great way to visualize your small (and big) wins. They trigger your brain to recognize and acknowledge them, giving you small boosts of motivational energy.
This is why video games are so addictive! They're full of progress indicators everywhere. Even though the progress is completely virtual, they're still able to trigger the motivation centers in your brain.
Find Out What Drives You Today
So why not take some time today and do a quick reflection of where you're at now? Take one aspect of your life that you'd like to progress further in.
For example, it may be your current job. First, start with why. Write down your reasons for why you're in the job that you're in. Then think about your Motivation Core: Your Purpose. Write down what it is within your job that gives you meaning, and what are some things that will help push you forward in life.
Once you have those points, it's time to do a comparison. Does your current job help you make progress towards that Purpose that you've written?
If it does, then wonderful! You're on the right track. But if it doesn't entirely, or you now realize you're way off target, don't panic. It's definitely not too late!
Here at Lifehack, we offer you a FREE Webinar to help you develop unstoppable motivation: Activate Your Motivation – Fast Track Class
Don't miss the valuable opportunity to give your motivation an instant boost!
Wouldn't We All Like to Be Motivated and Happy?
Happiness need not be a vague term or illusion that you're constantly chasing after–with no end in sight. By finding your true motivation, you'll be one step closer to realizing your happiness and finding meaning in all things you do.
You may have tried many solutions to help you stay motivated and found that none of them really have any impact. That's because they bring about incremental changes only, and permanent change requires a holistic approach. It requires more than just focusing on one area of your life or changing one part of your routine or actions.
You want to make a fundamental change; but it feels like big, unknown territory that you can't afford to venture into at this point in your life.
The truth is, taking your life to the next stage doesn't have to be this complicated. So, if you'd like to take the first step to achieving your life purpose, the time is now!
More on Finding Motivation
9 Types of Motivation That Make It Possible to Reach Your Dreams
How to Crush Your Lack of Motivation and Always Stay Motivated
Featured photo credit: Candice Picard via unsplash.com
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Dr. Kerry Petsinger
Entrepreneur, Mindset & Performance Coach, & Doctor of Physical Therapy Read full profile
The statistics are dismal. A recent study has found that 69% of people feel trapped in the same old routine, and only 3 out of 10 people are happy with their lives.[1] People are feeling stuck.
Some are feeling stuck in their careers, feeling like they're too far along one path to make a change. Some are feeling stuck in their personal lives. The toll of the daily grind sucks most of their time and energy. So their relationships, self-care, and personal goals get lost in the shuffle of the treadmill existence.
When people come across these challenges of feeling stuck, the feeling sometimes doesn't go away. It often intensifies as time goes on. As the stuck feeling intensifies, some people choose to settle. Subconsciously, without even realizing it, they end up pushing their dreams and goals further and further down.
Others, if the feeling of being stuck intensifies to an unbearable point, choose to make changes. They may choose to pivot in their careers, even after years at a successful job. They may end up making big changes in their relationships, or start putting their fitness at a higher priority. They may make drastic changes to finally feel free. These changes can be incredibly difficult to make, especially if a person has lived many years in a certain lifestyle.
Feeling stuck is NOT fun. I've been there. I get it.
Why Am I Feeling Stuck?
How Feeling Stuck Screws You up Secretly
Approaching Life Differently
How to Get Unstuck
People feel stuck once in a while. There are many causes of feeling stuck. Many people work toward goals that don't actually align with who they are at the core or what they truly desire. I call these "False Objectives".
Living a life of False Objectives can cause people to feel very stuck and frustrated. People can build lives that are very "successful" according to society; but if you've built your life based on False Objectives, you're not going to feel fulfilled. You'll end up feeling stuck.
Another cause of feeling stuck is not knowing who you are. If you don't understand how you're innately wired – your strengths, your gifts, your talents, your passions – it's tough to make decisions that enable you to maximize those. It's tough to reach your full potential if you don't know who you are.
You can feel stuck if you're doing work that doesn't allow you to maximize your innate strengths. If you're doing work that doesn't bring out the best in who you are at the core, you'll likely feel some dissatisfaction and you won't reach your full potential.
Other people feel stuck because they haven't surrounded themselves with mentors or peers who have achieved what they want to achieve. They stay in certain routines while craving to do life differently. As Jim Rohn says,
"You are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with."
If your goal is to run a marathon and you're spending most evenings and weekends drinking beer with your coworkers, you're probably not going to run that marathon. If your goal is to live a location-independent lifestyle and work anytime from anywhere, but everyone in your social circle is at traditional jobs; it'll be tough to break free from the 9-5 mentality.
Feeling stuck screws up people's lives. The consequences of feeling stuck can range from mild to severe. People may feel a mild discontentment with life and end up succumbing to the idea that life is "okay," and settle. (Nancy's story will resonate with you.) They may never reach their full potential, their highest levels of happiness and satisfaction. And they may not make the impact on the world that they could make, and have a looming sense that there could be "more" to life.
Often, though, the feeling of being stuck comes with much larger consequences. Feeling stuck can hinder career growth and contribute to disrupted marriages. It can lead to huge midlife crises.
The feeling can (and frequently does) increase as the years go on, leading to significant regrets about unfulfilled dreams. In fact, the number one regret of the dying, according to Bronnie Ware, a palliative care nurse, is, "I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me." She writes:[2]
"This was the most common regret of all. When people realize that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Many people had not honored even a half of their dreams, and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made."
Thankfully, some highly effective strategies can prevent you from feeling stuck. Using these strategies can help you avoid significant problems in your life. It's different than conventional living, and it works.
Commonly, people live with many set routines. While certain routines are helpful, becoming stuck in the daily grind routine can get frustrating. Many people eat roughly the same foods each week, go to the same place each day, talk to the same people, keep the same commitments, and end up living life on autopilot.
It's tough to feel like you're progressing forward when each day is spent doing the same uninspiring routine. In order to avoid feeling stuck, it's important to live intentionally. It's crucial to live in the driver's seat of your life and get out of autopilot mode.
First, ditch the False Objectives. Just because everyone in your family are doctors doesn't mean that's the best path for you. Just because all your friends are married with a big house, a white picket fence, and 2 kids doesn't mean that's the best path for you. Just because everyone you know works 9-5 doesn't mean that's the best path for you. It's not easy to design your life intentionally, but it's critical in order to avoid feeling stuck.
Remember, the majority of people feel stuck. So, if you're doing things like the majority of people, you'll likely feel stuck, too. You'll need to think differently and create your life differently.
2 Questions to Ask Yourself Every Day
In order to intentionally design your life, avoid falling prey to False Objectives, and prevent feeling stuck, there are questions to ask yourself every day. These questions can help you stay focused on what matters most to you, help you avoid feeling stuck and frustrated, and create the best life possible.
1. Why Am I Going to Do What I'm Going to Do Today?
If you're showing up to work each day and giving your years to your job, it's important that your "why" is deeper than "to pay the bills." Knowing why you're doing what you're doing can help you make choices that inspire and motivate you.
By asking yourself why you're going to do what you're going to do today, you will be living intentionally. In today's incredibly busy, easily distracted world, living intentionally and focusing every day on what matters most is unique.
When you choose to ask yourself why you're doing what you're doing every day, it will help you stay focused on what's truly important to you. This can prevent you from getting stuck.
2. What Would Future Want Me to Do Today?
Imagine yourself, in the future, as the best version of you. What would that version of you want you to do today? Making decisions from the viewpoint of the future you can help you move forward and prevent the stuck and frustrated feeling.
When you make decisions from the viewpoint of future you, you will develop perseverance and reap the benefits of delayed gratification. Today's society is very focused on instant gratification, but a lot of great things in life take time and effort. Learning to take small steps forward by making decisions from the future you's standpoint can help you progress toward your biggest goals and dreams.
After asking yourself the two questions, work on the plan to get unstuck. I've personally tried these strategies and they work for me.
1. Choose Goals You Truly Desire to Accomplish
This might sound obvious but we all get sucked into False Objectives at times. When you're setting goals in your career and your personal life, make sure they are goals that matter to you.
Working hard toward big achievements that don't align with your values, priorities, and who you are at the core is a fast-track toward feeling stuck.
Learn about your strengths, your gifts, and your passions. Choose goals that align with who you are at the core, and work toward goals that align with your inner strengths and gifts. This will help you maximize your potential and minimize the stuck and frustrated feelings.
2. Watch Your Mindset
Often, we think we're stuck, but the problem is our mindset. Being mindful of our mindset and self-talk is important to living a life of freedom and fulfillment. Work on rephrasing your self-talk in order to improve your mindset.
For example, if you tell yourself, "I could never start a business," rephrase it to, "I don't know how to start a business YET, but I can learn." If you find yourself saying, "I don't have enough money to travel," tell yourself, "I don't have the money right now, but I can make a plan to save money to travel. Rephrasing your self-talk can help you see opportunities and possibilities instead of feeling stuck.
Occasionally, even the most driven people have days where they feel unmotivated. Check out this article for tips to get motivated when you feel like doing nothing: What Motivates You And How to Always Stay Motivated
Those tips can help you break free from the rut.
3. Get out of Your Comfort Zone and Add Some Excitement to Your Day
Shaking up your daily routine and adding some excitement to your days can help you get unstuck.
While breaking out of your daily routine can be uncomfortable, it can be a great way to invigorate your life. You can start by getting out of your comfort zone in small ways. Here are 10 ways to step out of your comfort zone and overcome your fear. As Brian Tracy says,
"Move out of your comfort zone. You can only grow if you are willing to feel awkward and uncomfortable when you try something new."
Getting out of your comfort zone and experiencing growth can help you to continue to move forward and prevent you from getting stuck.
4. Surround Yourself with People Who Have Done What You Aspire to Do
It's easy to get stuck if you're trying to accomplish something and you're struggling to believe it's possible to accomplish it.
Instead of letting yourself be isolated and stuck, commit to learning from people who have done what you aspire to do. This can help you believe it's possible to achieve the same goals. It can also help you to be inspired to progress forward instead of staying in stuck-land.
You can seek out a mentor, or even read inspiring books or listen to motivating podcasts by the people who have achieved your biggest goals and dreams.
It's frustrating to feel stuck. But you don't need to stay stuck if you know the right ways to break free from the rut.
Practice living intentionally by asking yourself the 2 critical questions:
Why am I going to do what I'm going to do today?
What would future want me to do today?
When you constantly reflect about what you truly want and whether you're doing the things that lead you to what you desire, you'll feel less stuck gradually.
How to Get Unstuck in Life and Live a More Fulfilling Life
Featured photo credit: Krists Luhaers via unsplash.com
[1] ^ Telegraph: Just three in 10 people feel happy with their lives
[2] ^ Mindful: Nurse Reveals Top 5 Regrets of the Dying
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