The Monuments Men (2014)
December 1, 2014 by joecarro	in Action (Movies), Drama (Movies), Movie Reviews, War (Movies) and tagged 1940's, Action, America, Army, art, Art Expert, Art Historians, Average JOE, Bill Murray, Blog, Bob Balaban, Burning Painting, Cate Blanchett, Child Sniper, Church, Claire Simone, Culture, Dimitri Leonidas, Donald Jeffries, Drama, Europe, FDR, Film, Fine Art, France, Frank Stokes, French Woman, George Clooney, Germany, Grant Heslov, Historians, History, Hitler, Hugh Bonneville, James Granger, Jean Claude Clermont, Jean Dujardin, John Goodman, Joseph Carro, Liberate, Mankind, Map, Matt Damon, Michelangelo, military, Movie, Nazi, Platoon, President, Preston Savitz, Religious Artifact, Repatriation, Rescue, Review, Richard Campbell, Russia, Sacrifice, Sam Epstein, Smoking, Soldiers, Statue, Stolen Art, TAJRB, Thieves, Treasure Hunt, True Account, True Story, Walter Garfield, War, World War II, WWII	| Leave a comment
Original Theatrical Release Date: February 7, 2014
Director: George Clooney
Frank Stokes (George Clooney) is tasked by FDR to assemble a team of art experts – The Monuments Men – to retrieve stolen artwork from the Nazis during World War II and return the masterpieces to their respective owners. Once behind enemy lines, Stokes and his crew come to realize what they are truly fighting for – the history and culture of all mankind.
To be honest, I'd never even heard of this film. My girlfriend and I decided to rent it on a whim while we were browsing the RedBox outside our local convenience store. We were sort of on a Bill Murray kick (he plays Richard Campbell in The Monuments Men) and that was what prompted us to try it out.
First off, this is based on a true story. I'm not exactly sure how faithful the movie was in terms of historical accuracy but judging by the photos of the real operation they show during the end credits, it seems to be pretty legit.
The cast choices were all pretty solid – George Clooney, Bill Murray, Matt Damon, Cate Blanchett, John Goodman, Bob Balaban – can't really go wrong with any of those people. Clooney is the only one who just seems to constantly play the same character in different movies and this one is no exception.
Though the story was interesting enough from a historical point of view, the excitement didn't really build a lot in movie form, meaning that while I enjoyed very much learning about this facet of World War II that I had never heard of, I think I would be more interested in reading about it and getting every single detail, historically accurate, than watching this film. There was no real drive that I could feel within the narrative. The film is mostly propelled by the star power of the actors, which can sometimes be okay – but not here. The characters were never really fleshed out. Not even the main character, played by Clooney himself. We get the idea that it's a bunch of dudes who aren't really meant to succeed as soldiers and that they risked a lot by going out into a warzone, but there is no real urgency.
As it is, the film is a sort of impressionistic account of a very intriguing story that could have been fleshed out into something even more amazing. Don't expect to be blown away by this one, people.
Movie Trailer For The Monuments Men
Sucker Punch (2011)
November 30, 2014 by joecarro	in Action (Movies), Adventure (Movies), Fantasy (Movies), Movie Reviews and tagged 2010's, 2011, Abbie Cornish, Abuse, Action, Adventure, Alternative Reality, Amber, Attempted Rape, Average JOE, Babydoll, battle, Beautiful Women, Blog, Blondie, Blue Jones, Brattleboro, Bullet Time, Carla Gugino, Cigar Smoking, CJ, Creature, Dancing, Death, Doctor, Dr. Vera Gorski, Dragon, dream, Emily Browning, Escapee, Fantasy, Female Assassin, Female Bonding, Film, Friends, Gerard Plunkett, Girl Gang, Guns, High Roller, Imagination, Jamie Chung, Jena Malone, John Hamm, Joseph Carro, Lobotomy, Mental Institution, Movie, Nazi, Oscar Isaac, Patience, Prostitute, Retreat, Review, Richard Cetrone, Rocket, Samurai, Scott Glenn, Sexual Abuse, Sexy, Sister, Skirts, Sniper, Steampunk, Stepfather, Strip Club, Sucker Punch, Surrea;, Surreal, Sweet Pea, Swords, TAJRB, Vanessa Hudgens, Vermont, Wise Man, Zack Snyder	| Leave a comment
Original Theatrical Release Date: March 25, 2011
Director: Zack Snyder
Babydoll (Emily Browning) has to deal with her abusive father. He goes too far one night and directs his attention toward her younger sister in retaliation, forcing Babydoll to take drastic action. When her attempt to kill him fails, she is placed in an institution. Attempting to cope with her new situation, Babydoll escapes into her own mind and tries to find a way out of her new prison.
I really, really wanted to like this film more than I did. Zack Snyder, because he did 300 – said he wanted to do a movie with mostly women. I liked 300 and thought this could be great. It had beautiful women in scant clothing, intense action scenes, appealing music, and fantastic imagery. It seems like the perfect formula, but unfortunately the film fell short in many places.
First off – the pacing. I'm a fan of the occasional slow-motion sequence every now and then but in Sucker Punch, I felt like the entire movie was in slow motion…and most of it literally was. If done correctly, slow-motion can be a powerful tool. However, this film almost seemed more like a music video. Actually, that's really what it became, when you look at it objectively. Lots of slow-motion sequences set to popular music. Scantily-clad women. Fantastical action sequences. Throw in some hair metal and you're good to go.
The story was threadbare, and Babydoll's journey felt tedious and repetitious when it should have been exciting. The action scenes were cool for the most part but the heavy use of CGI takes you out of the established narrative sometimes, creating a break in the link between belief and disbelief. The only real reason I can think of that would make anyone want to watch this film more than once is just to see the beautiful actresses doing their thing. I can admit that I've now seen it a few times, because that's where the film does succeed – visuals (and I'm a visual person). All the work the artists put into creating the various worlds inhabiting the Sucker Punch universe was very good and interesting. My main question, though, is why wasn't this movie turned into a video game? It would almost certainly be more interesting than the movie.
For all its epic aspirations, this film could have been a lot better. See it if you must, appreciate it for its visuals, but I'm sure you'll come away feeling sort of empty and blah. Perhaps even like you've been….SUCKER PUNCHED?! Hahahahahahahahaha…….. *ahem* ha.
JOE Rating: ★★
Movie Trailer for Sucker Punch
November 27, 2014 by joecarro	in Uncategorized and tagged Average JOE, Blog, Holiday, Joseph Carro, Review, TAJRB, Thanksgiving, Update	| Leave a comment
I just wanted to take a moment to give thanks for all the views, likes, and comments on my review blog. I hope that if you celebrate Thanksgiving, you eat lots of good food and spend time with friends and/or loved ones.
I have some reviews coming up soon. One for a novel or two I've finished, a couple new PS3 game reviews, some movies, at least one restaurant in the Portland, Maine area (maybe two) – and who knows what else is in store. Thank you for your continued support!
I'm very thankful for Pizza! (Hint – this was taken at a restaurant I'm reviewing soon!)
October 14, 2014 by joecarro	in Action (Movies), Movie Reviews, Science Fiction (Movies) and tagged 1950's, 1990's, 1997, 23rd Century, Ace Levey, Ace Levy, Action, Adaptation, Aircraft, Alien, Armed Forces, Army, Asteroid, Author, Average JOE, Bare Chested Male Bondage, Bare-Chested Men, Bare-Chested Women, battle, Blood, Book, Brain Bug, Bugs, Bullets, Burial In Space, Carl Jenkins, Casper Van Dien, Citizen, Clancy Brown, Cult Film, Denise Richards, Dina Meyer, Dizzy Flores, Dystopia, Earth, Edward Neumeier, Fascist, Fascistic, Federation, Female Captain, Fight For Survival, Film, Friends, Fun, Future, Giant Alien Bugs, Guns, Horror, Hot, Infantry, Insects, Internet, Jake Busey, Jealousy, Jean Rasczak, Johnny Rico, Joseph Carro, Laser Tag, Lt. Carmen Ibanez, Marine, Mercy Killing, Michael Ironside, Militaristic, military, Military Scientist, Movie, Neil Patrick Harris, No Opening Credits, Novel, Nude Scene, Nuke, Patrick Muldoon, Paul Verhoeven, Pilot, Planets, Propaganda, Psychic, Retro, Review, Robert A. Heinlein, School, Sci Fi, Science Fiction, Self Sacrifice, Service, Seth Gilliam, Sexy, Sexy Women, Sgt. Zim, Shower Scene, Soldier, space, Spacecraft, Starship, Starship Troopers, Sugar Watkins, TAJRB, Topless Female Nudity, Topless Women, Unisex Shower, Violence, Whipped, Whipping, Writer, Zander Barcalow	| 1 Comment
Original Theatrical Release Date: November 7, 1997
Director: Paul Verhoeven
In the distant future, the world is a fascist and militaristic society where a person can only become a citizen by joining the military and its never ending fight against an insectoid alien race looking to destroy humanity. Johnny Rico (Casper Van Dien) is the son of two wealthy non-citizens who is looking to join his girlfriend Carmen (Denise Richards) in the armed forces in order to be with her and to gain his citizenship. Soon, though, the realities of military life and the hardships of the war separate Johnny, Carmen, and their friends from one another and they must overcome the chitinous tide of the Bugs if they are ever to reunite.
This film is based on the (much better) science fiction novel by Robert A. Heinlein – adapted to the screen by Edward Neumeier.
It's been a while since the last time I watched this movie, but my brother gave me the DVD for my birthday this year. I was kind of interested to see how all the special effects and everything held up over the last 17 years. I was not disappointed to find out that most of it still looked pretty decent after all that time. The only thing that seemed dated at times was the retro-futuristic 1950's-as-interpreted-by-the-late-1990's hairdos and clothing styles for the characters. Other than that, though, I was transported through the film's fun tongue-in-cheek narrative style.
I still have no idea where Casper Van Dien went to after the late 1990's – but as Johnny Rico he was decent (if somewhat unbelievable) as the screaming, gun-firing, tough-guy lead. Denise Richards co-stars with her full and pouty lips as the always-effervescent (but still wooden) pilot Carmen Ibanez. Also, I was shocked to see Neil Patrick Harris in his role as Carl Jenkins – a role I forgot he'd done. (The last thing I remember him in was Harold And Kumar)
The bugs were creepy and not cheesy. The "internet" – style videos interspersed throughout the film add a nice touch, though the internet of the "future" looks pretty dated compared to our own, now. There is a creepy and unbelievable love triangle in the movie, but the real draw is the action sequences – which are peppered liberally throughout the movie. Still, the movie is a bit too long for an action flick.
All in all, not a perfect movie – but a nice flick to come back to every now and then if you want some sci-fi action.
JOE Rating: ★★★★
Movie Trailer For Starship Troopers
October 13, 2014 by joecarro	in Crime (Movies), Drama (Movies), Horror (Movies), Movie Reviews, Mystery (Movies), Thriller (Movies) and tagged 2010's, 2012, Abduction, Anger, Average JOE, Blog, Caves, Children, Christine, Cold Rock, Crazy Town, Crime, Doctor, Domestic Violence, Drama, Eve Harlow, Family, Fear, Film, Grieving Mothers, Horror, Jenny, Jessica Biel, Jodelle Ferland, Joseph Carro, Julia Denning, Kidnap, Lieutenant Dodd, Loss Of Child, Mass Killing, Missing, Missing Children, Mob, Movie, mystery, Nurse, Pascal Laugier, Police, Poor, Post, Poverty, Review, Samantha Ferris, Sexy, Sheriff, Sheriff Chestnut, Social Issues, Sorrow, Stephen McHattie, Surprise Ending, Teen, The Tall Man, Thriller, Tracy, Tunnel, Urban Legend, Washington State, William B. Davis, Women's Prison, Woods	| Leave a comment
Director: Pascal Laugier
In the town of Cold Rock, the children are going missing and locals are blaming it on an entity from an urban legend, known as The Tall Man. A local nurse named Julia Denning (Jessica Biel) has a child of her own, which is taken in the night. As Julia searches for her child, the truth about the disappearances begins to surface and the townsfolk have a lot to say about it.
I'd never even heard of this film but my girlfriend and I picked it up at a local video store called Bull Moose here in Maine. Jessica Biel has never been on my short list of favorite actresses, but it seemed like it could be good so we bought it.
During the opening of the movie and probably through about half of it, it had me hooked. It had great atmosphere, an intriguing villain in the form of The Tall Man – and a cool-sounding, creepy town. I mean, Cold Rock – how much cooler can you get than that? However, the director and/or story aims to trick the viewer and basically lie to them in order to achieve its hidden message/twist ending. This could have been a decent horror flick but instead it turns out to be a benign sort of social commentary about bad parents.
Jessica Biel was just okay as Julia Denning, and unfortunately she was basically the only character we should've cared much about but she even failed to make me do that. If I were you, I'd avoid this confusing and misleading film but maybe it's worth a single watch on a night when you have nothing else on your plate.
Movie Trailer For The Tall Man
Big Trouble In Little China (1985)
October 13, 2014 by joecarro	in Action (Movies), Adventure (Movies), Comedy (Movies), Fantasy (Movies), Horror (Movies), Movie Reviews and tagged 1980's, 1986, Action, Adventure, Airport, All-American, Allies, Average JOE, B Movie, battle, Big Trouble In Little China, Blades, Blog, Bordello, Bride, Brothel, Bumbling Hero, Bus Driver, Campy, Carter Wong, Chao Li Chi, Chinatown, Chinese Actor, Chinese Girl, Chinese Restaurant, Classic, Comedy, Comic Book, Creature, Cult Classic, David Lo Pan, David Z. Weinstein, Dennis Dun, Donald Li, Eddie Lee, Egg Shen, Enemies, Evil, Fantasy, Fiancee, Fight, Film, Flop, Friends, Gambling, Gang, Garter Belt, Gary Goldman, Good, Good VS Evil, Gracie Law, Green Eyes, Guns, Hells, Horror, Immortal, Jack Burton, James Hong, James Pax, John Carpenter, Joseph Carro, Kate Burton, Kidnap, Kim Cattrall, Knife, kung-fu, Kung-Fu Fantasy, Lightning, Magic, Margo, Marriage, Miao Yin, Monster, Movie, Mystical, Mystical Battle, Panties, Peter Kwong, Post, Prisoner, Rain, Rescue, Review, Sexy, Skeleton, Sorcery, Spells, Steamy, Supernatural Battle, Suzee Pai, TAJRB, Three Storms, Thunder, Trucker, Uncle Chu, Victor Wong, Wang Chi, Water	| Leave a comment
Original Theatrical Release Date: July 2, 1986
Jack Burton (Kurt Russell) is an all-American truck driver with a penchant for gambling. When his friend in Chinatown, Wang Chi (Dennis Dun), loses a bet to Jack – he has to pay up. But first, he needs to pick up his girlfriend from the airport. However, all does not go as planned and instead ol' Jack finds himself in the middle of a mystical battle between an evil Chinese sorcerer named Lo Pan (James Hong) and the forces of good, led by the cantankerous old Egg Shen (Victor Wong).
This film is a classic now, though it flopped when it was first released. If you haven't seen it yet, I envy you because that means you can see it for the first time. Granted, some of the special effects in the movie are a bit dated (it was 1986, after all) but overall – the film has held up over time. Kurt Russell gives a great performance as Jack Burton – a sort of bumbling badass who manages to "accidentally" achieve his goals, though most of the time he just talks tough and likes to spout one-liners that don't quite hit the mark. Kim Cattrall is great as the sexy-yet-annoying love interest, Gracie Law, and Dennis Dun is decent as the ass-kicking "sidekick" to Burton.
John Carpenter, for me, either is right on the money or far off base with his films. (John Carpenter's Vampires was terrible, for instance) With Big Trouble In Little China – he did right by everyone. It's got the right mix of adventure, style, horror and camp to make it an enduring franchise. Also – there is currently a comic book adaptation being published that relays events which take place after the film ends. You can check that out HERE. If you loved Army Of Darkness, then you'll love this movie too.
Movie Trailer For Big Trouble In Little China
Red State (2011)
October 12, 2014 by joecarro	in Action (Movies), Crime (Movies), Horror (Movies), Movie Reviews, Thriller (Movies) and tagged 2010's, 2011, Abigail, Abin Cooper, Action, Alexa Nikolas, Anna Gunn, ASAC Brooks, ATF, ATF Agent, Average JOE, Ball Gag, Bare Chested Male, Betty Aberlin, Billy-Ray, Blog, Blood, Boobs, Cage, Caleb, Cattle Prod, Chaos, Cheyenne, Church, Closet Homosexual, Cooper's Dell, Corpse, Craigslist, Crime, Cross, Dana, daughter, Death, Deputy Pete, Esther, Evil, father, Fear, Fellatio, Firefight, Five Points Church, Foursome, Friends, Fundamentalist Church, Gay, Gay Character, God, Good VS Evil, Government, Guns, Hate Crime, Hate Gospel, Homophobia, Homosexual, Hormones, Horn, Horror, Intense, Internet, James Parks, Jarod, Jennifer Schwalbach, Jesse, John Goodman, John Lacy, Joseph Carro, Joseph Keenan, Kaylee DeFer, Kerry Bishe, Kevin Pollack, Kevin Pollak, Kevin Smith, Kids, Killing, Kyle Gallner, Matricide, Matt Jones, Melissa Leo, Michael Angarano, Michael Park, Michael Parks, Middle-America, Monologue, Morals, Mordechai, Mother, Murder, Nicholas Braun, Nudity, Pastor, Plastic Wrap, Poignant, Police Officer, Police Officer Shot In Chest, Police Officer Shot In Head, Post, Prisoner, Protest, Racial Slur, Raid, Ralph Garman, Randy, Red State, Religion, Review, Ronnie Connell, Sara, Sermon, Service, Sex, Sexy, Sheriff Root, Sheriff Wynan, Sinister Agenda, Social Criticism, Soliciting Sex, Southern, Stephen Root, SWAT Team, Teenage Boys, Teens, Texas, Thriller, Torture, Travis, Twist Ending, Violence, WBC, Westboro Baptist Church, Zeal, Zealot	| Leave a comment
Original Theatrical Release Date: September 01, 2011
Director: Kevin Smith
In middle-America, all is not as sleepy and peaceful as it would seem. A fundamentalist church called The Five Points Church, led by pastor Abin Cooper (Michael Parks), preaches anti-gay and almost anti-everything hate gospel. Unfortunately, their bite is worse than their bark and when three teenage boys; Travis (Michael Angarano), Billy-Ray (Nicholas Braun), and Jarod (Kyle Gallner) – find an older woman soliciting sex on an internet site similar to Craigslist – they agree to meeting up with her for a foursome, which lands them squarely in the hungry religious jaws of the Cooper clan.
This movie blew me away. If you're a Kevin Smith/View Askew fan like myself, you've come to expect a certain quality and tone of movie from the man and the studio behind him which produced films such as Clerks, Dogma and Chasing Amy. Red State is NOTHING like those other films. This is intense, this is gritty. As Smith himself points out – the Jay and Silent Bob films are like a smooth milkshake while Red State is like drinking straight whiskey. This is a film that none other than Quentin Tarantino strongly endorses, if that gives you any sort of idea as to what the tone is.
First of all, the film is especially poignant and is almost like a satire of the Westboro Baptist Church. We see it in the news every day, but in reality – the crazy religious zeal of some of these people is one incident away from an actual, real-life horror film. Red State is part horror film, part thriller and absolutely riveting.
With Michael Parks as Abin Cooper – the charismatic and terrifying patriarch of the Five Points Church – Smith hit gold. Everyone cast in this film not only does their jobs, but does them well. This movie is often overlooked because it goes beyond the fandoms of the Jay And Silent Bob/View Askew universe, which is understandable in some ways because Red State is so different from those others that it's almost like another director is at the helm – though Smith can definitely be felt within the context of the film by the acerbic dialogue.
This film is amazing. Absolutely amazing. Do yourself a favor and go watch it. You'll be uneasy for a long while and it's perfect for a Halloween horror movie night.
Movie Trailer For Red State