"It's just...that I have... nobody left in my life that I....can talk to.... you know... I don't talk to my dad no more... thanks...." Taking the tissue, I blew my nose, "...because he rises his defenses whenever I try to talk... I mean.... I can't cry with him anymore.... because...." Another nose blow "...it hurts him to see me crying... he interprets my crying as a failure on his part... failure because he cannot do anything about it for the last 5 years... but that's not the point you see."