With weak steps, I dragged myself to bed and laid down gently while weak moonrays dissolved and reshaped around me. In the stillness of my room, I slowly came to realization that I was motivated by a long suppressed feminine instinct all throughout the summer. The need to be desired, cared about, looked after and on top of it all, embraced with love. An instant of utmost misery caused my brow to cease since I knew that what I could have would only be a gay relationship which would be far from quenching my thirst... a thirst belonging to a woman.