...the "but" holds a myriad of elaborate locks, indeed. The keys I set aside have been cauterizing like mithril to an elf. My fingers feel rooted, my mind opposes revisiting those traumatic moments that still emit an antiseptic odor and a color almost always coming from a fluorescent bulb vividly whenever I'm struck by a variant of them in a dream or remembrance session. After 5 years, it is still not easier to sit down and talk/write about something that has changed my entire life and belief systems drastically.