Before any feminists stab themselves in the heart with a stiffened underwire, Hanauer, 39, makes it clear that this is not a variation on The Surrendered Wife or a man-trapping manual like The Rules. Rather, the writer, editor and mother of two in Northampton, Mass., wanted to explore the reality of modern women, some of whom are trying to juggle kids, careers, housework and husbands. Others are trying to find love amid society's conflicting messages about money, sex and matrimony.