It is unfortunate that I have (more than) everything ready to make a start and all that I have been working and praying for is a reasonable amount of money to fund it. If only I didn't do anything to achieve it. Then, I would bury myself in self-pity and suffer gladly. Putting aside pride (actually trashing my pride), I knocked every possible door (including relatives and old family acquaintances I vowed not to see any longer), asking for a little aid on the financial side in vain.