There is no practical problem for me in this but initially there was a problem of selfconfidence I found myself slightly dreading mealtimes I would hang back worried about which table to choose terrified at the silence which fell when I spoke anxious in a way I cannot remember since the first weeks of school I still grin inanely or panic when people talk to me I suspect the cause of this occasional depression is nothing to do with loss of company or communication its because Ive lost the social predominance which my own gift of the gab has always afforded me