Sharknado 3: Oh Hell No!
In the opening scene, Fin Shepard (Ian Ziering) is seen running frantically through Washington DC. He's picked up by two agents who escort him to the White House. A ceremony is held for him in honor of his heroics against the sharknados in Los Angeles and New York the previous year. Fin receives a golden chainsaw as part of an exclusive society from the President Marcus Robbins (Mark Cuban). Fin's nephew Martin Brody (Mark McGrath) is also there in attendance. One security guard (Lou Ferrigno) also takes a picture with Fin. Suddenly, a sharknado strikes, sending dozens of hungry sharks down on the city. As people are ripped apart, Fin grabs his golden chainsaw and slices through the sharks like butter. Outside, the storm destroys the Washington Monument and causes it to plow through the White House. Fin, the President, Martin, the Vice President Sondra Beck (Ann Coulter) and others try fighting back until the storm abruptly stops.Meanwhile, April (Tara Reid) is remarried to Fin and expecting another kid. She also has a mini-chainsaw to replace the left hand that was eaten in the last movie. She's with her mother May (Bo Derek) and her and Fin's daughter Claudia (Ryan Newman) at Orlando, Florida to check out the Universal Studios park. Claudia goes off to meet her friend Jess (Blair Fowler) while April stays with her mom. May worries that Fin's heroics would be hazardous for the baby and their renewed marriage.Fin heads to Florida to find his loved ones when another sharknado strikes in a town that he is driving through. As the sharks rain down, Fin is helped by his old friend Nova (Cassie Scerbo) and her new partner Lucas (Frankie Muniz). Nova kills several sharks and takes Fin with her. Since almost dying in the first movie, she has toughened herself up and has been tracking sharknados to prevent further devastation. Lucas thinks it's cool how Fin has defeated countless sharks, especially during the battle in New York, but Fin is still mourning the loss of his friend Skye.The three head to a military airport to meet with Fin's other old friend General Gottlieb (Tim Russ). He allows Fin, Nova, and Lucas to enter and for Fin and Nova to pilot jets to get through the storm. Another sharknado comes down, killing numerous soldiers. Lucas rushes to detonate a bomb, but he keeps getting his limbs ripped off by sharks. He finally sets the bomb off, killing himself and other sharks.In Orlando, April starts to panic when a shark falls down a water slide, eating a lifeguard. She rushes to find Claudia, who, along with Jess, has joined with a boy named Billy (Jack Griffo) and his buddy Chad (Melvin Gregg). Chad hits on Jess and gets her to go along with him on the Disaster ride, with Claudia and Billy reluctantly joining them.While flying in their jet, Fin and Nova spot another sharknado about to hit the Daytona 500. The sharks rain down and eat several racetrack fans and drivers like Brad Keslowski.The sharks start coming down on Orlando as the kids are still on the ride. They fall in during the special effects part of the ride, and one shark eats Chad. The rest of them make it out, but Jess gets eaten too. Even George RR Martin gets eaten while watching a movie (fittingly called "Shark Wedding").The heroes realize that a multitude of storms are coming, creating a massive "sharkicane" that will ravage the East Coast. Fin decides he must seek help from one person - his estranged dad and retired NASA Colonel Gil (David Hasselhoff). Fin finds Gil in a diner with his two old army buddies Stylo and Caissier (Penn and Teller). Fin asks Gil to join the mission to take down the sharknados.Fin, Gil, and Nova rejoin April, Claudia, Billy, and May. The first four go to NASA and are allowed to commandeer a shuttle into space so that they can deploy tanks full of rocket fuel to stop the sharknados that begin to rain down on the area. Claudia and Billy join a soldier as they shoot at the sharks. The kids grab guns and fire back until they run out of bullets. Billy opens the door to the roof for Claudia to get back in and kisses her. Unfortunately, he gets eaten too.While Nova remains behind to provide covering fire from her air force jet, Fin, Gil and April launch into space and deploy the massive tank, causing a huge explosion that only briefly halts the storm. Gil finds another solution, and that is to activate an old satellite that would deploy a laser beam at the sharks. Gil says goodbye to Fin, knowing this would mean he has to sacrifice himself. Gil goes off into space and turns the satellite on, shooting the laser beam and stopping the sharknados from spreading. However, this also causes the sharks to somehow be pulled into orbit toward the shuttle. They start chomping through the shuttle until Fin uses a lightsaber-type chainsaw against the sharks. One of the sharks swallows April whole. Fin rushes to save her, but he gets swallowed by another shark. The sharks start hurtling back toward earth in flames. Fin rips through his shark and lets a parachute guide him down.As he lands, Fin rips himself out of the shark. The shark carrying April lands, and Fin hears her chainsaw revving. Out of the shark comes a human baby that April somehow managed to give birth to inside the shark. It's a little boy. Fin pulls April out as well. They are rejoined by Nova and Claudia. Fin decides he wants to name the baby after his dad. He looks to the moon and salutes, and we see Gil saluting back.But several pieces of debris from the shuttle starts plummeting toward April as she walks across the field strewn with the dead sharks. Before we see what happens, the announcer says viewers have the choice to decide if #AprilLives or #AprilDies, and her fate will be revealed in "Sharknado 4," because THEY AREN'T DONE YET!
absurd