The Cable Guy
Steven Kovacs has just moved into a new apartment after his girlfriend kicked him out. While waiting for the cable guy to arrive, a friend suggests that Steven slip the man $50 as a bribe to receive all the pay channels for free.Finally, Chip Douglas, the cable guy, shows up. He is very strange but obviously an expert cable installer. Chip tries to strike up a personal conversation with Steven, who is uninterested. Before Chip leaves, Steven nervously offers him $50 for free cable. At first Chip acts furious, but then bursts into laughter, happily declaring "I'll juice you up." Steven is very thankful, but then Chip asks Steven to visit the cable company satellite with him. Steven tries to politely say no, but Chip insists.The next day, we see Steven at work. He's an architect with a boss who is a huge jerk. Later that day, Chip shows up at Steven's apartment and the two go to the satellite. They have a heart to heart talk, ending with Chip giving Steven useful advice (originally from The Jerry Springer Show) on how to get his girlfriend back.Steven meets Robin, his estranged girlfriend, the next day. He takes Chip's advice and invites her over to watch Sleepless In Seattle. Steven goes to the gym to play basketball with some friends, and Chip awkwardly shows up. Chip inserts himself into the game, and plays in a very aggressive manner, knocking down other plays and eventually breaking the basketball board. Steven is obviously mad at Chip and walks off.Steven returns home for his date with Robin only to find that Chip has left a huge number of messages on his machine. Robin arrives and the two chat about how much Steven hates his boss before turning on the TV. The TV is blank, so Steven calls the "preferred customer" number that Chip gave him earlier. After one ring, he hears a knock at his door. He opens it to find Chip with a severed cable wire in hand, angry that Steven wouldn't get back to him. Steven promises to hang out with Chip the next day if Chip will turn his cable back on. Chip does so, gives more advice about Robin, and leaves.The next evening Chip takes Steven to Medieval Times, a restaurant where the patrons watch knights engage in mock battle. Throughout dinner, Steven politely tries to break off his friendship with Chip, but the two are suddenly called into the fighting pit. Chip confesses that he gave all of the knights free cable and that they are allowing him to bring Steven out to fight one another. As both men are fit with armor and weapons, Steven asks if they're just going to mock fight, but Chip seems deadly serious about their upcoming battle.The two begin to fight, with Chip knocking his opponent around until Steven gets angry and launches into him. The crowd goes wild, but Chip frequently takes dangerous swings at Steven, eventually knocking him down. Both men are put on horses and made to joust, with Steven blasting Chip off his horse. Steven gets off to see if Chip is okay, and Chip giddily declares that they will meet again before holding Steven's hand up in celebration of his victory.The two go back to Steven's place. Steven now seems happy with his odd new friend. He then sees that Chip broke into his apartment and placed a big screen TV with massive speakers in his living room. Steven tells Chip that he appreciates the gesture but that he has to take everything back. Chip says that he will, but that they should have a karaoke party first. Steven agrees.The next evening, there is a big party at Steven's house, mostly with Chip's "preferred customers," who happen to be a mixture of old men, weidos, and even two police officers. Steven talks to Robin on the phone, who is going out on a date with another man. Steven is upset, but Chip comforts him. Steven then gives Chip a small gift, a speech thearpy tape designed to help Chip's lisp. Chip is very moved.Steven notices a gorgeous woman at the party, and Chip insists that Steven talk to her. As Chip sings a karaoke song, Steven and the woman begin making out. Chip playfully takes a picture before leaving Steven and Heather alone.The next morning, Chip is cooking eggs and Steven wakes up. He is thrilled with the night before, and the two begin to eat breakfast. Chip says "it was my treat." When Steven asks what he means, Chip says that the woman was a prostitute that he bought for his lovelorn friend. Steven is horrified and kicks an apologetic Chip out of his apartment.The next day we see Chip at a restaurant, wearing a big fake mustache that alters his appearence. Robin is on a date with a total jerk. Chip poses as a restroom attendant, and when Robin's date comes to the restroom, Chip beats him within an inch of his life, telling him to stay away from Robin.Later, Chip shows up at Robin's apartment, claiming that Steven has paid to upgrade her cable. After upgrading it, Chip tells Robin that the two are best friends, and tells her that Steven loves her very much and wants her back. She is very moved by this, and calls Steven to thank him. Steven realizes what has happened but takes credit for the cable upgrade. Steven runs into Chip on the way home, who tells him that this was his way of making the incident with the prostitute up to him. Steven tells Chip that although his intentions are good, he does not want to be friends with him. Chip is crushed.The next day, Steven is at work, only to find himself arrested by the two "preferred customer" cops that were at his party the other evening. The charge is accepting stolen goods, which turns out to be the TV system Chip put in his apartment. Steven tells his lawyer the story, but the lawyer responds that no one named Chip Douglas works for the cable company. Chip comes to visist Steven in jail, where Chip tells him his name is really Larry Tate. He tells Steven that they could have been best friends, but now they are worst enemies.Steven is released from jail and goes back to work, only to find that a video of him telling Robin how much he hates his boss is circulating throughout the office. Steven is fired, and harassed by Chip on the way to his car. At home, he finds a hidden camera planted underneath his table.Steven takes Robin to dinner at his parent's house, only to find Chip at the door. Steven threatens to call the police on Chip, but Chip shows him a copy of the picture of him with the prostitute. Chip tells Steven to relax and have a good time. At dinner, Chip tells the story of the Medieval Times show, only reveresing their positions so that Steven sounds like the aggressive maniac.After dinner, Chip encourages everyone to play "Porno Password," an adult verison of the TV game show. Tensions are high, and Steven eventually snaps, punching Chip in the face. Chip leaves, and everyone is angry with Steven.Steven talks to his friend that originally suggested he bribe Chip. The friend does background checks and figures out that Chip's names (such as Larry Tate) are all actually classic TV characters. Chip was fired for stalking customers.Steven gets a call from Chip, who appears to be getting ever more crazy. Chip tells him that he and Robin are going to hang out. Steven is terrified, and races to Robin's house. Robin's landlady tells Steven that she overheard them saying they were going to the cable satellite.At the satellite, Chip explains how the satellite works to Robin, his creepy demeanor beginning to scare her. Steven arrives shortly afterwards to find that Robin has been tied up. A rainstorm pours down as Chip and Steven fight. Steven gets in some good blows, but Chip knocks him out.When he wakes, the storm has calmed down. Chip has taken Robin to the top of the satellite. Steven climbs up and asks Chip to let Robin go. Chip breaks down, telling Steven that he is sorry he screwed up their friendship.Chip curses his mother for never paying attention to him as a child and letting him get so screwed up. Chip looks down and decides to kill himself by throwing his body into the center of the satellite, blowing out the cable. Steven grabs Chip's arm as he jumps, trying to save him, but Chip just smiles and lets go.Meanwhile, the result of a major celebrity murder trial is seconds away from being broadcast. As the whole world watches, Chip's body hits the satellite, cutting out the cable before the verdict is read. Chip, however, has survived the fall.An emergency helicopter is taking Chip away. Steven asks Chip his name one last time, to which Chip replies "Ricky. Ricky Ricardo." The helicopter takes off while Steven and Robin kiss. In the helicopter, the EMT tells Chip "You're gonna make it, buddy." Chip asks "Am I really your buddy?" The EMT shrugs and says "Yeah, sure you are." Chip gives a devious smile and the film cuts to black.
comedy, boring, stupid, bleak, cult, insanity, humor, satire