Happy Land
Act I
The fairies live in a lavish and art-filled Fairyland, floating on a cloud overlooking the mortal world. Three male fairies, Ethais, Phylion and Lutin, relate to the female fairies their "detestation" at their experiences below, in the "wicked" world. However, they note the conveniences of Victorian civilisation. The female fairies suspect that the males may not hate the mortal world as much as they say, and complain of the dullness of life in Fairyland, and long to experience that wonderful, wicked world. Selene, the Fairy Queen, expresses a determination to go to Earth. The three males resist this and instead agree to return to the world themselves and ask the Fairy King (who is in England studying "political economy", also known as "spending a pound to save a penny") to send three mortals up to Fairyland, so that the fairies may find out what men are really like. While the female fairies wait for the three mortals, Selene explains why England has an advantage over other countries: it enjoys a "popular government".
The three mortal statesmen arrive – Mr. G., Mr. L. and Mr. A – declaring, "Oh, we are three most popular men! We want to know who'll turn us out!" At first, Fairyland is not to their liking, as it is decorated with "ridiculous extravagance", but they change their minds as soon as they find themselves surrounded by the female fairies. The women are charmed by the mortals' oratorical virtuosity. At the fairies' request, they explain how "popular government" works. The fairies decide to introduce popular government into Fairyland. The fairies are divided into Government and Opposition, and the members of the Opposition are sent away grumbling. Then, ministerial posts are allocated after a competitive examination in which those who show that they are the least fitted for the particular duties are appointed to fill them. For example, the fairy who asks what a ship may be is appointed First Lord of the Admiralty. All the fairies want to be Prime Minister, but, following precedent, Selene is so appointed.
Act II
The fairies' experiment in "popular government" is a disaster. Penny-pinching and shabbiness rule the state, the military is in disarray, and the Chinese may soon invade. Leila and the other Opposition fairies revolt, and all the Government ministers resign. Selene appeals to Mr. A., who suggests that "patriotism is the ladder by which the rising statesman ascends to the pinnacle of place," and "place is the pinnacle seated upon which the risen statesman kicks away the ladder of patriotism." Selene replies, "Sisters, I've done with office, give me a peerage and let me end my days in respectability and peace." Mr. G. advises that even in this situation, she should not consider resigning or apologising; but Selene ultimately rejects this, although she has feelings for Mr. G.
The three mortal honourables return to earth, as they must attend a cabinet meeting. When the fairies realise that the mortals were corrupt, they exclaim, "How shabby!" Soon the three male fairies return with news from the Fairy King: they may enjoy the privilege of "popular government." Selene rejects this with horror. The fairies will "Leave such blessings to a happy land."
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