The Blair Thumb
Three filmmakers go into the woods to film a movie. They were never found. This is their surviving videotape. Stressy, a college student, has put an ad in the newspaper for some student filmmakers to help her go into the woods to shoot a documentary about the Blair Thumb. They then drive around town to interview people about the Blair Thumb.
The first woman they interview tells them that she believes in the Blair Thumb to be a spirit that haunts the woods, and that she wouldn't be caught dead in the woods. Then she's shows her baby to them, who is possessed by Satan. The next person is a man who says kids have been disappearing in the woods, comparing the disappearances to the magic acts of David Copperfield. The next person they interview is an unhelpful pirate. Then they move on to interviewing the famous one-eyed thumb, who says "ee-hoo!" The next person they interviews is a local fisherman that says part of the Legend of the Blair Thumb:
"There are these twins, the Briarly twins, I think they're twins. 'Twins should look alike.' They went into the woods, been there hundreds of times, but this time they got lost. Couldn't find their way. Then they saw this woman...she was up in the air, floatin'. She took their heads, switched them, like it was a sick game. Then she took their bodies, she switched them too. They came out looking zacly' the same, but we all knew, they've been all switched up."
With enough information to go into the woods, Jish makes a pit stop to get some food. A gigantic marshmallow in his case. Now in the woods, Vic and Jish are shown taking a piss. Stressy cries, "What are you doing?" Vic says, "You told us to." Stressy replies, "No, I didn't, I said "kiss" before the first shot we kiss the slate!" Jish starts laughing. Vic replies, "Sorry, ok? I heard you wrong. Kiss, what's the difference?" Vic looks at the slate covered in piss. Stressy makes a video about a graveyard, wondering how the bodies got under the grave stones and what "freakish creature" carved and engraved them. They finally arrive at the woods.
After walking a little ways, Vic and Jish start freaking out because Stressy doesn't have a real map. After calming them down, Stressy moves onward. Once they are at Hangnail Rock, Stressy tells the next part of the Legend of the Blair Thumb:
"The search party went into the woods, in search of the five lost victims. Upon reaching Hangnail Rock, the torture inflicted on these brave men unfolded. Each was bound to each other, positioned one behind the next. Each man's hand was in the next man's pants. The men promptly turned and asked the search party to leave, and mind their own business. Hours later the men were found, decapitated, and very tired. The search party left to find a sheriff, but upon return the bodies were gone. All that was found, was a Streisand CD, and a mini-disk single of "It's Rainin' Men."
That night, the three hear weird noises, and they are chased by a shark. The shark tries to bite off Stressy's arm, and then moves over and attacks Vic. The next day, while they are walking, Jish notices that he has a weird substance on his stuff. Vic claims that Jish has been singled out and that he's glad it's not him. Further on, chaos ensues when it becomes apparent that Stressy has lost her fake map. Soon, they begin to think that they're going in circles. Then they discover that someone took Stressy's car. Soon after, they see the Blair Thumb's symbol made from a giant stick. Everything instantly becomes dark. That night, in the tent, Jish plays a prank on Stressy and Vic by shaking a bush. He explains that there were sticks in the trees, some kids ripped off their car went for a joy ride and says there is no Blair Thumb. However, after this he is kidnapped by something and Vic and Stressy chase after him. In the dark Vic and Stressy stand still and quiet hoping not to get kidnapped and Vic feels up Stressy.
The next day, Stressy and Vic find Jish's body. He has been cut in half; only his legs and groin area remain. That night, Stressy makes a video notice of her. Crying she says she's scared and apologizes to Vic's mom because he's scared, freaked out, and to Jish's mom, because he's "dismembered and everything". She says she loves her parents and Ricky Martin and says she's scared to close and open her eyes, squint and cross them. Then, Stressy and Vic hear Jish's voice and head after it. They pass by a sign that says "Dead House --->" without a second thought. They enter the house and Jish's voice says he's upstairs, so they head upstairs. Once they're upstairs, Jish's voice says he's downstairs. The two get separated on the way down. As Vic says something he gargles like something had killed him. Stressy screams and heads down the stairs still screaming. Then, Vic says, "Jeez, can't a guy even take a leak?" Frankenthumb then appears, and the two mistake him for the Blair Thumb. They ask if they can go, and he replies, "No, I kill. We party first?" They agree and a disco ball comes down. They dance. Jish's torso shows up, then the credits begin.
absurd, comedy