Dr. Goldfoot and the Bikini Machine
As the film opens, we see numerous shots of San Francisco. We soon see a young brunette woman, clad in a trenchcoat and fedora. She seems a tad over-dressed for the weather, but stranger things happen regarding her:- As she walks into the middle of a street, a car hits her, but it is the car that falls apart.
- Two men attempt to leave the scene of a bank robbery. Encountering the woman, they shoot at her, but she just keeps right on going.
- In a small cafeteria, she drinks a glass of milk, and the liquid pours from the bullet holes in her body and trenchcoat!It is in the cafeteria, that she encounters a young man named Craig Gamble (Frankie Avalon). However, she claims he is named Todd Armstrong. Craig tries to deny this, but she insists on going back to his place, which just so happens to be a small one-bedroom apartment.Meanwhile, we suddenly find ourslves inside the lair of Dr Goldfoot (Vincent Price), and his assistant Egor (Jack Mullaney). Goldfoot is incensed that his bikini girl that Craig is with (who has said to him her name is 'Diane'), has hooked up with the wrong Todd Armstrong! Goldfoot then orders his girl (known as Number 11), to get out of there.As Craig watches, Number 11's vocal pitch changes, and she storms out of his room, leaving him wanting her even more.Diane then goes back to the street, and encounters the real Todd Armstrong, a very rich bachelor. She manages to charm him, and they take off for his place.Meanwhile, Craig has been obsessed with finding Diane, and calls the directory assistance, but gets nowhere (since all he has is Diane's first name, there's no way to find her). Soon after, Craig is angrily called into the office of his Uncle, Donald. Both of the relations work for Secret Intelligence Command (SIC), and Donald is upset at Craig's obsession with Diane, as well as the fact that he is known as 'Double-O-and-a-half.' Uncle Donald then demands that Craig work on helping SIC, and raise his title to at least a digit, instead of a fraction.Meanwhile, Number 11 has conned Todd Armstrong into marrying her, and their wedding makes a magazine cover, where Craig sees her, and is heart-broken.Back at his secret lair, Dr Goldfoot begins sending out more of his girls, each one programmed to do as Number 11 has done: snare a rich husband, get him to sign over his fortune to them, and then Dr Goldfoot will collect once the girls are through.In the wake of his marriage to Number 11, Todd has given her a large diamond ring, but is upset when she sleeps in a separate bed then him, and with a screen dividing them on their honeymoon. Diane claims it's because her batteries were low, and Todd just dismisses this as ridiculous. She then asks for Todd to give her a wedding present, requesting he sign over several of his stocks and holdings to her.Diane then takes the signed forms, and leaves Todd, telling him to go to work.Out of the street, Craig sees Diane, and attempts to talk to her, but she claims she has no idea who he is. As he attempts to take her off the street, Dr Goldfoot appears, and tugs Diane into a car, leaving Craig sprawled on the sidewalk, with Diane's left hand left behind!In his car, Goldfoot is at first pleased with Diane's work, until he finds that even though they have Armstrong's holdings, he did not sign over his power of attorney to her! Goldfoot then informs Diane that she will need to be punished.Craig eagerly tells his Uncle Donald, but he simply assumes his nephew is crazy. Remembering the name of the mortuary on the side of Goldfoot's car, Craig heads out there, where he sees his assistant Igor disappearing into a coffin. Craig follows him, and finds the Dr's secret lair, along with his bikini machine, and seeing Diane being tortured. Igor quickly discovers Craig, but not before he manages to escape.Returning to his Uncle's office, Craig attempts to tell what he's seen, but his Uncle claims he's busy, with one of SIC's head officers. However, Craig recognizes Igor in disguise, but both his Uncle and Igor claim he's nuts.Realizing that noone will believe him, Craig then goes to Diane's fiance, Todd. Todd naturally doesn't believe Craig's claims that Diane is a robot, until Craig shows him Diane's severed hand (complete with wedding band!).The two then decide to team up, pretty sure that Diane will return to get Todd to sign over Power of Attorney to her. Craig hides in a secret room, as Todd waits for Diane. Eventually, she does appear, making the chain-lock open automatically, before requesting he come with her to the bedroom. As she makes a request for his signature for Power of Attorney, Todd attempts to yell for Craig, but Diane quickly kisses him, and convinces him to sign. No sooner has he finished signing the form, then she quickly changes into a new outfit, and literally 'disappears' through the front door, the effect of which causes Todd to faint. Craig is also incapacitated, as he has delved into Todd's secret bar hidden behind the wall.Once the two come to, Craig feels bad that he didn't hear Todd's cry, but Todd claims they still pulled one over on Dr Goldfoot: he signed a name on the Power of Attorney line, but Craig's, so that Diane still has no way to get the money for Goldfoot.Once again, Craig attempts to convince his Uncle Donald that something is going on, even bringing Todd to back up his claims, but as the previous times, there is no convincing his Uncle.Craig and Todd then head to Dr Goldfoot's mortuary, where they are soon caught by the doctor and his assistant. Goldfoot shows the two his bikini machine, and then has them sit down for dinner, with Diane in attendance (albeit only able to speak and understand Japanese now!).After their dinner, Goldfoot then attempts to get Todd to sign the forms giving him 'Power of Attorney,' but Todd still refuses, having Goldfoot place him underneath a large, lowering pendulum. Luckily, Craig manages to trick Igor into letting him go. He rescues Todd, and the two take off in the Dr's Cadillac, with Goldfoot and Igor in hot pursuit in a motorcycle and sidecar.The chase leads them all over San Francisco, before both the Doctor and Igor drive off a cliff near some Naval Practice grounds, where they and their vehicle are destroyed.In the aftermath, Todd feels that he and Craig need a vacation, and the two decide to jet off to Paris. However, once they are airborne, the two are shocked by three things:1. Diane is onboard as a stewardess
2. Uncle Donald is onboard, supposedly by way of Diane
3. Dr Goldfoot and Igor can be see, chuckling maniacally from the cockpit doorway.
comic