I used to think I would know myself to be mature when I could simply be gay without emphasis, but the self-loathing of that period left a void, and celebration needs to fill and overflow it, and even if I repay my private debt of melancholy, there's still an outer world of homophobia that it will take decades to address.
我曾经认为当我是同性恋者， 却不加宣扬时，我就成熟了， 但那段时间的自厌留下了一个洞， 需要靠庆祝来填满和倾注， 就算我还清了我自身的悲伤， 外在的同性恋恐惧症还是存在的 那需要几十年的时间来解决。