The sense in which I can be uplifting and inspiring -- I mean, there's always been a kind of a certain grim dimension to the way I try to uplift, so if grim inspiration --  -- if grim inspiration is not a contradiction in terms, that is, I'm afraid, the most you can hope for. OK, today -- that's if I succeed.
当我说：“我可以变得很乐观“， 我想，我尝试去乐观这件事 本来就带着点悲观色彩，所以-  --如果“悲观的乐观主义精神“不算自相矛盾的话，恐怕 这就是今天你们可以从我这儿得到的，最乐观的东西了。