| language,text,score,score1,score2,score3,score4,score5 | |
| en,How do Frenchmen share files? Pierre to Pierre.,5.0,5,5,5,5,5 | |
| en,After Luke Skywalker found out Princess Leia was his sister. He became best friends with hand solo,4.6,5,4,5,5,4 | |
| en,Why do petri dishes make good conversationalists? They're cultured.,4.6,5,5,3,5,5 | |
| en,I call my girlfriend Dumbledore. She's a head master,4.6,5,5,4,5,4 | |
| en,What do you call a Corvette following a Camaro at high speeds? Chevy Chase.,4.4,5,4,5,4,4 | |
| en,"It was a sad day when I discovered my Universal Remote Control did not, in fact, control the Universe. Not even remotely",4.2,3,4,4,5,5 | |
| en,"My favorite workout is a mix between a lunge and a crunch, I call it lunch.",4.2,4,4,5,3,5 | |
| en,"i've been on so many blind dates, i should get a free dog .",4.2,5,4,2,5,5 | |
| en,I just got a job helping a one arm typist do capital letters. It's shift work,4.2,4,3,5,4,5 | |
| en,What do you call a priest that's also a lawyer? A father in law,4.2,5,3,4,5,4 | |
| en,"love it how music can take you to another place. for example , one direction is playing in this restaurant so i'm going to a different one",4.0,5,2,5,4,4 | |
| en,There was a massive explosion at a French cheese factory this morning. All that remains is de brie,4.0,5,4,5,3,3 | |
| en,My last girlfriend left me for being unnecessarily mysterious. or did she,4.0,5,5,3,3,4 | |
| en,what is similar between Pink Floyd and Princess Diana Their greatest hits were the wall,4.0,4,5,1,5,5 | |
| en,"What was eating away at the computer's RAM storage? I don't know, but it was going at it one byte at a time.",4.0,3,5,3,5,4 | |
| en,Abortion isnt murder It's just canceling a preorder,4.0,5,5,5,2,3 | |
| en,"i just got hired as a garbage truck driver. there was no training , but i think i'll pick it up as i go along",4.0,4,5,4,3,4 | |
| en,what did one window say to the other window? i'm in pane,4.0,4,5,5,2,4 | |
| en,Why did Shrodinger's girlfriend dump him? Because she didn't like his lack of commitment,4.0,4,3,5,4,4 | |
| en,"my therapist claims i'm a narcissist , but what does he know? clearly not as much as me .",4.0,3,4,5,4,4 | |
| en,"Ruth and Johnny, side by side, went out for an auto ride. They hit a bump, Ruth hit a tree, Johnny kept going Ruthlessly",3.8,3,5,1,5,5 | |
| en,what's the difference between a hipster and a lumberjack? the lumberjack has a job .,3.8,5,3,4,4,3 | |
| en,What do you call a snake that has been knighted? Sir Pent...,3.8,5,1,4,5,4 | |
| en,what's the best thing from new york city? the train to boston,3.8,2,3,5,4,5 | |
| en,"I've just been to a concert starring the Bermuda philharmonic orchestra. Half way through, the guy on the triangle disappeared",3.8,5,3,4,5,2 | |
| en,how do buddhist monks send emails? they remove all attachments .,3.8,5,2,3,4,5 | |
| en,you hear about the dyslexic agnostic insomniac? he stayed up all night wondering whether or not there was a dog .,3.8,5,5,2,5,2 | |
| en,"Has anyone told you how beautiful you are today? ""No."" Better luck tomorrow.",3.8,3,3,4,5,4 | |
| en,"A flyer says to another flyer: ""Yo, wanna hang out tonight? "" The other one replies: ""Brochure!""",3.8,3,4,4,3,5 | |
| en,What's the difference between an American and a moldy piece of bread? The bread has more culture.,3.8,2,5,5,2,5 | |
| en,"Relationship or hallucination. Either way, I'm seeing someone",3.8,4,3,5,4,3 | |
| en,what do jehovah's witnesses believe in? that i will open the door,3.8,3,2,4,5,5 | |
| en,what's the most common career choice among spiders? web development,3.8,4,5,2,3,5 | |
| en,What do you call with a cow with a twitch? Beef Jerky,3.8,5,3,3,3,5 | |
| en,What do humans and desserts have in common? No one likes the very rich ones.,3.8,4,3,4,3,5 | |
| en,It might take a village to raise a child. but it only takes a viking to raze a village,3.6,4,3,3,4,4 | |
| en,If a band plays music in a thunderstorm who is most likely to get hit by lightning? The conductor.,3.6,4,5,2,4,3 | |
| en,what kind of bird does not make babies? a swallow,3.6,5,4,5,1,3 | |
| en,why should you never play poker with a crocodile? you will lose every hand .,3.6,4,5,3,4,2 | |
| en,"guys, check out this cool trick i learned . take your upper lip and make it touch your lower lip . now keep them like that .",3.6,3,4,5,5,1 | |
| en,What did the receptionist at the Sperm Bank say as the patients were leaving? Thanks for coming.,3.6,5,1,4,4,4 | |
| en,Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut? He just needed a little space.,3.6,2,5,5,2,4 | |
| en,I got a puppy for my daughter. Good swap if you ask me,3.6,4,1,4,4,5 | |
| en,what's the best part of a pregnancy joke? the delivery .,3.6,3,3,5,4,3 | |
| en,what the difference between australia and a glass of milk? leave the glass of milk alone long enough and it'll develop a culture .,3.6,5,3,4,2,4 | |
| en,My friend was talking about how he sleeps when its dark around. So I'd advised him not to join the basketball team,3.6,4,3,2,4,5 | |
| en,What do you call Watson when Sherlock isn't around? Holmeless,3.6,2,5,3,4,4 | |
| en,"Baby, I hope you are an ISO file cuz I wanna mount you.",3.6,5,4,2,3,4 | |
| en,What classic game do Hawaiian kids like the most? The floor is lava.,3.6,4,3,4,5,2 | |
| en,Why did the French chef quit working at the haunted restaurant? He got creped out.,3.6,4,4,3,2,5 | |
| en,"Not all that glitters is gold. Take, for instance, glitter",3.6,4,4,2,5,3 | |
| en,If video games make children more violent... why do they keep losing fistfights against me? ,3.6,3,4,5,5,1 | |
| en,teacher : where is your homework? pupil : i lost it fighting this kid who said you weren't the best teacher in the school,3.6,3,5,3,5,2 | |
| en,What do you call the smallest Superman in the world? .. Quark Kent.,3.6,4,5,3,2,4 | |
| en,waiter : these are the best eggs we've had for years. diner : well bring me some you haven't had around for that long,3.6,2,2,5,5,4 | |
| en,"how bad is the economy? twenty years ago we had johnny cash , bob hope and steve jobs . today we have no cash , no hope and no jobs .",3.6,3,3,5,3,4 | |
| en,"i still use the word "" dude "" . i don't give a dude . i don't use it right, but i still dude it .",3.6,4,4,1,4,5 | |
| en,Did you hear about the couple who got married in a gymnasium? It didn't work out.,3.6,4,4,5,3,2 | |
| en,Did you hear the amusement park was offering free bungee jumping? No strings attached!,3.6,4,2,4,4,4 | |
| en,did you hear about the constipated composer? he couldn't finish the last movement .,3.6,5,2,4,5,2 | |
| en,"a soldier is at the bar when his buddy walks in . the buddy , surprised to see him , asks threedots buddy : hey how did you escape iraq? soldier : iran .",3.6,4,5,5,2,2 | |
| en,"Christmas with the family While I greatly enjoy the presence of their company, I prefer the company of their presents.",3.6,3,3,5,3,4 | |
| en,There's a new TV show on AMC about people who run away from grains and wheat. I hear they call it The Walking Bread,3.6,5,4,2,4,3 | |
| en,What do you call a marathon runner that refuses to stop? A joggernaut.,3.6,3,2,4,4,5 | |
| en,what does demi lovato and walmart have in common? they are always have lots of coke and are open twenty four hours a day seven days a week.,3.6,4,3,1,5,5 | |
| en,"The white bear and the penguin tried to make their relationship work, but they couldn't. They were polar opposites.",3.4,2,5,5,3,2 | |
| en,what did the animal control officer ask the hawaiian dancer? hula the dogs out,3.4,4,2,4,2,5 | |
| en,"What does a cyclone, flood, fire and a woman have in common? Sooner or later one of em will get your house.... ",3.4,5,5,1,5,1 | |
| en,What vegetables do plumbers hate the most? Leeks,3.4,5,2,5,3,2 | |
| en,What did the court jester call the balding crown prince? The Heir Apparent with no Hair Apparent.,3.4,4,4,2,2,5 | |
| en,"Eight bytes walk into a bar... Eight bytes walk into a bar. The bartender asks, ""Can I get you anything? "" ""Yeah,"" reply the bytes. ""Make us a double.""",3.4,1,5,3,3,5 | |
| en,"""He looks just like his grandfather"" is a cute thing said about a new baby in most parts of the world. In Alabama,it's more of an accusation",3.4,3,4,4,3,3 | |
| en,"JOB INTERVIEWER: so, what was your last job? DR. FRANKENSTEIN: bodybuilding",3.4,5,5,1,2,4 | |
| en,A hurricane is going to hit the east coast? Are you Joaquin,3.4,2,4,3,5,3 | |
| en,What do you call a company run entirely by ghosts? An incorporation.,3.4,3,3,5,2,4 | |
| en,Loads of people are lining up to buy my vampire teeth. Fang queue,3.4,5,1,3,4,4 | |
| en,What do you call a loaf of grumpy bread? Sourdough!,3.4,4,5,2,3,3 | |
| en,what's in the middle of girls ' legs? their knee .,3.4,2,3,4,5,3 | |
| en,The failure of my business confounds me. It just doesn't make cents,3.4,5,4,3,3,2 | |
| en,"""Always give your food a rinse before you eat it, "" my dad always used to say. Lovely man. Made terrible sandwiches.",3.4,2,5,3,3,4 | |
| en,"What's common between ""I love you"" and ""Made in China"" ? They both come with no warranty.",3.4,4,4,4,4,1 | |
| en,"Speech is like girls skirt. If it is too long, people don't take interest in it, if it's short, it will fail to cover the subject.",3.4,2,4,4,5,2 | |
| en,What does a woman do outside the kitchen? Tourism,3.4,4,4,4,2,3 | |
| en,i took my girlfriend to tour nasa this weekend! she said she needed some space .,3.4,5,3,3,2,4 | |
| en,"Did John Knott mind being the only cited author on his group's research paper? Knott, et al.",3.4,4,5,2,3,3 | |
| en,How to attract R Kelly with a guitar ? B Minor,3.4,5,4,2,5,1 | |
| en,Did you hear about the man who received a tip on a horse called Cigarette? He didn't have enough money tabaccer!,3.4,5,4,4,1,3 | |
| en,I heard about a woman who doesn't use her feet. I really want to meter,3.4,1,5,1,5,5 | |
| en,I was gonna go on a double date the other day. But in the end I couldn't find three other people to go with me,3.4,4,4,3,4,2 | |
| en,People who live in Flint should drink gasoline. It's cheaper than the water and guaranteed unleaded,3.4,3,3,4,3,4 | |
| en,"our team is doing so badly that "" manager of the month "" isn't an award. it's an appointment !",3.4,4,5,4,2,2 | |
| en,"my mom says i look just like my father. it's weird that she thinks that , because everyone else says i look like steve the mailman",3.4,3,5,4,2,3 | |
| en,how do you tell the difference between an x and y chromosome? you pull down its genes .,3.4,2,5,1,5,4 | |
| en,"i wanted to be a gynecologist, but i couldn't find an opening .",3.4,4,3,2,5,3 | |
| en,The word 'nothing' is a palindrome. 'Nothing' reversed is 'Gnihton' which also means nothing,3.4,3,2,4,5,3 | |
| en,"i never ask my kids to call me, i just change the netflix password and then don't respond to their texts .",3.4,1,3,5,5,3 | |
| en,How do locomotives know where they're going? Lots of training.,3.4,3,1,5,5,3 | |
| en,I turned in my letter of resignation to my smug supervisor at the refrigeration plant. He accepted it with his usual air of condensation,3.4,4,2,4,5,2 | |
| en,"mirrors don't lie. lucky for you , they can't laugh either",3.4,4,3,5,3,2 | |
| en,i think i have procrastination disease. i'll go to the doctor later,3.4,4,5,3,4,1 | |
| en,"train tip: a few minutes before the train arrives at your destination , get up and crowd around the exit so you can wait faster .",3.4,5,1,4,2,5 | |
| en,What were the French children doing in the pool? Piscine.,3.4,2,2,3,5,5 | |
| en,"honey , we should really think about becoming parents. i mean , we've already had the kids",3.4,2,4,2,4,5 | |
| en,"this guy in the elevator asked for my number so i wrote it on his arm. apparently he meant which floor , so that was awkward",3.4,3,3,4,3,4 | |
| en,why did the kid put his clock in the oven. he wanted to have a hot time,3.4,4,2,5,3,3 | |
| en,"science joke an ion walks into a bar , "" just you tonight , sir? "" "" no , i'm waiting on one more . """,3.4,3,3,2,5,4 | |
| en,"In comedy things don't age well Except for Michael Jackson jokes, much like his victims they never get old. ",3.4,5,5,4,2,1 | |
| en,A ginger wanted to join the Jazz band. But he didn't have enough soul,3.4,2,4,3,5,3 | |
| en,i went to a seafood disco once. And I pulled a mussel,3.4,4,2,4,5,2 | |
| en,"Buy a ticket to Finding Dory and yell ""She's right there! "" every time she comes on the screen until you're escorted out of the theater.",3.4,3,3,5,1,5 | |
| en,"Yeah I'm on a diet, I call it the ""seefood diet"" I'm pretty sure the mercury's affecting my spelling ",3.2,4,4,5,2,1 | |
| en,The toughest part of a diet isn't watching what you eat. It's watching what other people eat,3.2,2,4,1,5,4 | |
| en,i've never dumped a girl. i always lay them peacefully in a field to be discovered by school children,3.2,2,5,2,4,3 | |
| en,My favorite word is onomatopoeia. I just like how it sounds,3.2,2,5,2,4,3 | |
| en,did you hear about the blind dog that never got lost? it really nose it's way around .,3.2,2,5,2,3,4 | |
| en,"me: ah, now I will drift gently off to dreamland. refrigerator: I SHALL MAKE US SOME ICE CUBES",3.2,2,5,3,3,3 | |
| en,"When pinguins fly, you are probably drowning.",3.2,5,2,2,5,2 | |
| en,"A man walks into an Australian pet store, He asks the bloke behind the counter ""where do you keep the kangaroos mate? "" The bloke replies, ""outback.""",3.2,3,4,5,2,2 | |
| en,"i always feel like i'm wasting a text message whenever i respond with just "" k. "" now i write "" potassium "" instead",3.2,4,2,2,3,5 | |
| en,love is never having to say you're sorry. marriage is saying sorry especially when you're not,3.2,1,3,5,3,4 | |
| en,why are divers always so nervous? because they're always under pressure !,3.2,5,2,3,1,5 | |
| en,"yesterday , i got a fortune cookie that said: "" help ! i'm stuck in a cookie factory ! """,3.2,3,5,2,3,3 | |
| en,why did the fire fighter call off work to spend time with his friend? because threedots bros before hose !,3.2,4,4,4,2,2 | |
| en,What does an amoeba call its friend? Cell mate.,3.2,4,4,3,2,3 | |
| en,I've never understood the whole 'burying people for fun at the beach'. The cops will just find the bodies when the tide comes,3.2,3,3,1,4,5 | |
| en,warning: the consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing .,3.2,4,3,3,5,1 | |
| en,"It's really odd having to meet your girlfriend's father, but this time it was easy. I didn't even have to leave the house.",3.2,3,4,3,2,4 | |
| en,I like my partners like I like my work. Nine to five,3.2,4,4,2,3,3 | |
| en,what do you call chess players bragging in a hotel lobby? chess nuts boasting in an open foyer,3.2,5,3,5,1,2 | |
| en,Who was the only novelist with both direction and magnitude? Vector Hugo.,3.2,2,4,2,5,3 | |
| en,Great minds think alike. That's why we have so many opinions in America,3.2,3,5,2,3,3 | |
| en,what is the biggest key when moving a piano up a flight of stairs? be sharp or be flat .,3.2,3,3,5,2,3 | |
| en,Two termites go on a date.. Waiter: what would you like to order sir? Termite: Table for two.,3.2,3,3,4,2,4 | |
| en,My chess strategy and comedy have something in common I always concentrate on the pawns,3.2,1,4,3,4,4 | |
| en,Know what you call the soft tissue between a shark's teeth? A slow swimmer.,3.2,2,4,3,5,2 | |
| en,"Her: You spent our entire life savings on dogs Me: They're golden retrievers, Karen. They retrieve gold. I did it for us",3.2,4,1,4,4,3 | |
| en,i decided to give a name to my dinner. it was a miss steak,3.2,5,5,2,2,2 | |
| en,My mum said she will always have my back But when dad takes off the belt she never takes the hit for me. ,3.2,3,3,2,5,3 | |
| en,Why is Uber always slower than Lyft ? Because Uber eats.,3.2,5,4,3,2,2 | |
| en,"How do electricians meditate? Ohmmmm, Ohmmmm",3.2,5,3,3,1,4 | |
| en,Whats a person from Alabamas favorite meal? Family spitroast,3.2,3,3,2,4,4 | |
| en,Where did Lucy go during the bombing? Everywhere ,3.2,3,2,4,5,2 | |
| en,Did you know that there are no canaries in the Canary Islands? And the same thing applies to the Virgin Islands; There are no canaries there either.,3.2,3,2,4,4,3 | |
| en,"how do you know if someone has run a marathon? don't worry , they'll tell you .",3.2,5,3,2,2,4 | |
| en,"what color are mirrors? i don't know , let's reflect on this .",3.2,2,3,4,4,3 | |
| en,Why keyboards... Why keyboards don't sleep? Because they have two shifts!,3.2,3,3,2,3,5 | |
| en,What did the squash say to the cucumber when he saw the pumpkin patch get blown up? Oh My Gourd!,3.2,5,5,2,2,2 | |
| en,Why can't any of the seven dwarfs share the same name? Because that could create a pair o' Docs.,3.2,3,3,5,2,3 | |
| en,What do you call a jellyfish on a racing boat? A stringy thingy in a dinghy.,3.2,3,5,5,2,1 | |
| en,"God: NOAH. Noah: Yes Lord? God: Where are the land sharks, flying spiders and the jumping snakes? Noah: Oh nooooo, did I forget those?",3.2,4,2,4,4,2 | |
| en,What do you call a hair salon next to a graveyard? Curl up and dye,3.2,2,1,4,4,5 | |
| en,"why is that cotton candy talking? grandma , that's nicki minaj .",3.2,2,3,5,4,2 | |
| en,why are doctors always calm? they have a lot of patients . sorry .,3.2,1,5,5,4,1 | |
| en,"Whenever I see WHOA spelled as WOAH, I assume it's referring to Noah's evil twin whose Ark housed all the insect and arachnid life.",3.2,5,3,2,4,2 | |
| en,How do you get back at an egoist? With another egoist. An I for an I.,3.2,4,3,3,4,2 | |
| en,lol What is an Orphans favorite toy? A boomerang because it comes back unlike their parents.,3.2,1,4,3,5,3 | |
| en,my dad is a real family man. he has three of them,3.2,3,2,5,2,4 | |
| en,What do you call it when two people make a baby in fog? A mist conception.,3.2,5,2,4,3,2 | |
| en,"What sound does a pedantic owl make? Whom, whom. ",3.2,4,2,5,3,2 | |
| en,A dog that barks Is not cooked well,3.2,4,1,4,5,2 | |
| en,"my coworker used to joke "" i'm allergic to most nuts , but not donuts! "" . until bill brought in peanut butter donuts . he died in the ambulance .",3.2,4,2,1,5,4 | |
| en,why did the janitor file for a divorce? he found his wife sweeping with someone else .,3.2,1,5,4,2,4 | |
| en,I played against an Oprhan Baseball team once. None of them made it past third base.,3.2,5,1,4,3,3 | |
| en,What has three letters and starts with gas? A car.,3.2,3,2,5,4,2 | |
| en,"If you get mixed up when you read with your fingers, you're just Braillely dyslexic.",3.2,3,1,5,4,3 | |
| en,"i have a bumper sticker in braille if you can read this, you're driving too close .",3.2,3,1,2,5,5 | |
| en,I'm not raciest I have four black tires and a colored tv,3.2,1,1,4,5,5 | |
| en,"On the Red Carpet Reporter: ""Who are you wearing?"" Buffalo Bill: ""I'm so glad you asked.""",3.2,2,3,4,3,4 | |
| en,why did the redditor cross the subreddit? to recycle a joke from the other side .,3.0,4,3,4,2,2 | |
| en,I get carried away sometimes. Usually because I refuse to leave,3.0,1,4,4,2,4 | |
| en,How are babies like hinges? They are things to adore,3.0,2,5,5,2,1 | |
| en,What jumps up and down in front of a car? Froglights !,3.0,1,5,4,2,3 | |
| en,can people using windows play games online with people with using mac? depends on the wifi at starbucks .,3.0,3,3,4,4,1 | |
| en,What do a fretless bass and a lawsuit have in common? Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.,3.0,3,4,3,3,2 | |
| en,Scientists have invented a new device called the hyperbole chamber. It is the greatest and best thing ever since the dawn of civilization,3.0,1,3,4,2,5 | |
| en,"how do you know a girl is into you? just pinch yourself , if you don't wake up , she doesn't .",3.0,4,4,3,1,3 | |
| en,What's a Jedi's favorite brand of vodka? Skyy. Only Sith deal in Absolut.,3.0,4,4,3,1,3 | |
| en,what do ants drink? tea . it's an ant tea joke .,3.0,5,2,4,2,2 | |
| en,may i have a quick word with you? velocity,3.0,1,5,3,1,5 | |
| en,I eat bits of metal all day. It's my staple diet,3.0,4,3,2,3,3 | |
| en,i knew my younger sister was becoming an archeologist after she started dating her best friend's father. she loves to be around old bones,3.0,3,2,1,5,4 | |
| en,whats the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? beer nuts are a dollar and forty nine cents and deer nuts are under a buck,3.0,5,1,2,4,3 | |
| en,trainer : what's the most intense part of your work out? me : getting into my sports bra .,3.0,2,5,2,4,2 | |
| en,What do reddit admins eat? Everything,3.0,1,4,4,5,1 | |
| en,debit card was repeatedly declined at the grocery store today. i was trying to buy vegetables so the bank just assumed the card was stolen,3.0,1,4,4,2,4 | |
| en,"Yo girl, are you a zero APR loan? Because I don't really understand your terms and you keep saying you have no interest.",3.0,4,2,1,5,3 | |
| en,for sale: crystal ball cant see any future in keeping it,3.0,5,1,4,2,3 | |
| en,Why did the rabbit eat lunch under the sink? He found a leek there.,3.0,3,3,2,5,2 | |
| en,"a friend of mine is allergic to both peanut butter and bees, which he discovered when he bit into the worst sandwich ever .",3.0,5,3,3,1,3 | |
| en,"dress for the job you want , not the job you have. in many cases this will mean showing up to the interview in a pirate suit",3.0,2,3,2,5,3 | |
| en,have you guys heard my joke about elevators? it's funny on multiple levels,3.0,3,4,3,2,3 | |
| en,Which kitchen appliance do surfers dislike most? The micro wave.,3.0,2,4,4,1,4 | |
| en,Why are carbon chains with two double bonds so sad? Because they're diene,3.0,2,5,3,3,2 | |
| en,"millionaire interview interviewer : sir , who helped you on becoming a millionaire? millionaire : my wife threedots i was a billionaire before .",3.0,4,4,3,2,2 | |
| en,i asked the cashier at the window of the service station for a galaxy. she came back with a milky way,3.0,3,2,3,3,4 | |
| en,Tourist: What's the speed limit in this hick town? Native: We don't have one. You strangers can't get out of here fast enough for us.,3.0,1,2,4,3,5 | |
| en,Why did Little Miss Muffet have GPS on her Tuffet? To keep her from losing her whey.,3.0,3,1,4,5,2 | |
| en,"""Hey, graduate student Minotaur, what are you up to today? "" ""Not much, just working on my Theseus.""",3.0,3,4,5,1,2 | |
| en,What was its name before the paralympics? Skipping leg day,3.0,4,3,3,1,4 | |
| en,What did the insurance company say to the applicant? THIS ISN'T EVEN MY FINAL FORM!,3.0,3,3,5,3,1 | |
| en,"q . how does bill gates enter his house? a . he uses "" windows "" .",3.0,1,2,3,5,4 | |
| en,How do you know when relationship gets serious in California? They take you to meet their Tarot Card reader.,3.0,3,4,3,4,1 | |
| en,"What do you say if Jordin Tootoo gets on the same elevator as you and you're both going to the second floor? ""I'm going to two too, Tootoo"" ",3.0,4,3,2,5,1 | |
| en,"my computer is organized exactly like my brain, which is to say that I just found a photo of a baby weasel alone in a folder called ""good""",3.0,3,2,4,4,2 | |
| en,what's the best part about dating a twin? nobody can judge you on your age difference .,3.0,4,2,5,1,3 | |
| en,What do you call a fish that stands out? Out of plaice.,3.0,2,1,4,4,4 | |
| en,Whats the most unlikely line to read in the bible? The characters in this book are entirely fictional.,3.0,5,2,2,4,2 | |
| en,"My hobbies include humming the Jurassic Park theme song to my chickens, to make them feel more in touch with their ancestors.",3.0,4,3,5,1,2 | |
| en,"""Why'd you name me Carson, dad? "" You were born in a car. Now go fetch your sister, Hospitaldaughter. It's time for tablemeal.",3.0,4,2,2,2,5 | |
| en,"UK: We call it ""Autumn"", from the French word ""Automne"", and later, from the Latin ""autumnus"". USA: WE CALL IT FALL BECAUSE LEAVES FALL DOWN",3.0,4,4,1,4,2 | |
| en,"I've been sitting here trying to think of a French joke, and I almost have one that works. Unfrotunately, it went on strike",3.0,2,3,1,4,5 | |
| en,Where do blind sparrows go for treatment? The Birds Eye counter !,3.0,4,1,3,3,4 | |
| en,My vet asked if my dog likes to eat herself out I said I do that for her,3.0,5,2,1,2,5 | |
| en,"I told my dog to bark. He said, ""howwwl loud.""",3.0,3,2,5,3,2 | |
| en,Want to hear my latest joke about the Fibonacci sequence? It's as good as my previous two Fibonacci sequence jokes put together!,3.0,2,3,3,5,2 | |
| en,Did you know they buried Steve Jobs in an orchard? Yep. He's still pushing apples.,3.0,5,4,2,2,2 | |
| en,"Body language can be so subtle that only an intuitive person can read your mood. Body slams, I have found, are far more direct",3.0,2,2,5,3,3 | |
| en,I just watched a film about a couple who bought a haunted yoghurt. It's called Paranormal Activia,3.0,5,2,1,4,3 | |
| en,"My landlord wanted to come talk to me about the high heating bill I told him, ""My door is always open"".",3.0,4,3,4,2,2 | |
| en,I don't think I will ever find a stable job. Because quite honestly I'm very uncomfortable around horses,3.0,2,3,4,1,5 | |
| en,Put some desks and a blackboard in my living room today... To make it more classy...,3.0,2,5,1,4,3 | |
| en,"five percent pleasure, fifty percent pain threedots you were waiting for the punchline but it never came .",3.0,3,1,4,4,3 | |
| en,How did the steak chef at the courthouse like his paycheck? In legal tender,3.0,3,4,3,2,3 | |
| en,Why did the belt go to jail? Because it held up a pair of pants.,3.0,4,4,2,2,3 | |
| en,never heard this before knock knock who's there ? dishes. dishes who ? dish is sean connery,3.0,3,3,4,1,4 | |
| en,to the woman who keeps pounding and screaming at my door all night: i'm not letting you go threedots,3.0,5,2,2,2,4 | |
| en,What does a bored Spaniard eat? Aburrido.,3.0,2,2,3,5,3 | |
| en,i'll tell you what i love doing more than anything : trying to pack myself in a small suitcase. i can hardly contain myself,3.0,3,1,5,3,3 | |
| en,my favourite element is helium. i can't speak highly enough of it,3.0,2,5,5,1,2 | |
| en,"An art thief gets caught after a heist, how so? Many people saw his Van Gogh from the scene of the crime.",3.0,3,4,2,1,5 | |
| en,I used to rub my hair together when I was stressed. But now I'm dreading the consequences,3.0,4,3,2,4,2 | |
| en,Whats a printer's favorite sandwich? A paper jam sandwhich,3.0,3,5,2,3,2 | |
| en,I'm not sure I believe all this stuff about genetically modified food being bad for you... I just had a really tasty leg of salmon and I feel fine...,3.0,2,2,3,4,4 | |
| en,"how can a man go eight days without sleep? no problem , he sleeps at night .",3.0,4,2,4,2,3 | |
| en,What's a nerdy way of saying a bad word? A canine with two X chromosomes.,3.0,5,2,3,2,3 | |
| en,Want to hear the joke about a well? You wouldn't understand it. It's too deep for you.,3.0,2,3,4,5,1 | |
| en,"Confucius say, ""Happy wife lead to soft hands... Unhappy wife lead to softer hands.""",2.8,2,4,5,2,1 | |
| en,I couldn't find you any new tampons. but I managed to pull a few strings,2.8,2,4,3,2,3 | |
| en,A Lizard lost its tail. but it got one back from a retail shop,2.8,3,1,4,4,2 | |
| en,Did you hear trees can't cum? They just leaf,2.8,5,1,4,2,2 | |
| en,what's the opposite of assault? a pepper .,2.8,2,1,4,4,3 | |
| en,i am giving up eating red meats. i'm going cold turkey,2.8,3,2,2,3,4 | |
| en,You know why pro smash players were excited to see Steve in Smash? Because he's a miner,2.8,2,5,1,5,1 | |
| en,What unit of measurement did the ancient greeks use to measure their crops? Demeter.,2.8,3,2,5,1,3 | |
| en,What did Obe Wan say to Skywalker when he was teaching him table manners? Use the forks Luke.,2.8,3,2,1,4,4 | |
| en,What do you call a chinese poker face? A mahjong face,2.8,1,4,4,2,3 | |
| en,stephen hawking finally published his new book. it's about time,2.8,2,1,5,3,3 | |
| en,"The next time somebody complains about millennials, maybe remind them which generation linoleumed over all those beautiful hardwood floors.",2.8,5,1,3,3,2 | |
| en,"Are you afraid of quantum mechanics? Dont worry, it's gonna be Feynman.",2.8,4,2,5,2,1 | |
| en,I like to put grilled chicken in my egg and cheese stuffed breakfast burrito. Nothing warms my heart and stomach more than reuniting a mother and child,2.8,3,2,1,5,3 | |
| en,The Egyptian man became a bone doctor. They called him a Cairopractor,2.8,4,2,3,3,2 | |
| en,don't ever let a chiropractor tell u a joke. it'll hit your funny bone,2.8,3,2,4,3,2 | |
| en,What makes the ocean roar? You'd roar too if you had crabs on your bottom,2.8,4,2,2,1,5 | |
| en,Friend told me he buffed up without any protein shakes. No whey,2.8,2,5,2,1,4 | |
| en,"I bought a clock, and then the big hand broke off it. I didn't want to throw it away, so I just added ""ish"" to every number",2.8,2,1,4,4,3 | |
| en,Mom is coming to town. I get three full days of mouthing apologies to waiters,2.8,2,1,4,4,3 | |
| en,"wanted to be a farmer at one time, but it turned out to be the wrong field for me .",2.8,2,2,4,2,4 | |
| en,I don't get why people think the homeless are unclean. when they have the mintiest breaths I've ever smelled,2.8,3,2,2,5,2 | |
| en,"My bank is trying to get people to open additional savings accounts, but there is no interest.",2.8,3,5,1,2,3 | |
| en,"When I asked my friend how he's doing, he said ""man, I'm just happy to be breathing"". I told him he should have bigger aspirations",2.8,1,1,4,3,5 | |
| en,i wasn't dancing. i was trying to connect to the wifi,2.8,1,2,2,4,5 | |
| en,This year's Delta inflight buckle your seat belt video isn't as good as the last one. I give two and a half seat belts,2.8,5,2,1,4,2 | |
| en,What do you call an ant who skips school? A truant !,2.8,1,2,4,5,2 | |
| en,"life is short, which means it can't get on any of the cool rides .",2.8,5,1,2,5,1 | |
| en,What do you call an artist with a brown finger? Picasso,2.8,1,1,5,2,5 | |
| en,why did god have no sense of humor when putting the planets in order? because he didn't want to put uranus at the end of the solar system,2.8,3,2,4,3,2 | |
| en,"stopped shaving for november , at first i hated the mustache , but what can i say? it's grown on me .",2.8,3,5,3,1,2 | |
| en,what charity has peta beat in terms of death rate? the make a wish foundation .,2.8,5,1,4,1,3 | |
| en,i thought if i took the shell off my racing snail it would go faster. if anything it seems more sluggish,2.8,2,5,3,2,2 | |
| en,OMG! I went shopping because I needed a skirt and these earings were on special so I bought four new pairs of shoes,2.8,1,1,5,5,2 | |
| en,What does a cow do after a break up? Mooves on.,2.8,1,5,1,4,3 | |
| en,What do you call a hard drive in a hydraulic press? File compression,2.8,2,4,3,2,3 | |
| en,"If I can wear my underwear inside out and backwards all day with no one noticing, how important are they really?",2.8,3,1,4,2,4 | |
| en,Which chocolate stops dogs hair falling out? Malteasers,2.8,3,1,3,3,4 | |
| en,"Guys I'm finally vegan Coz afterall, you are what you eat",2.8,3,3,3,3,2 | |
| en,"why did the hipster dislike physics? cause the system is broke , yo .",2.8,3,3,2,4,2 | |
| en,where did the judge go to buy a necklace for his wife? the jury store,2.8,2,5,4,2,1 | |
| en,What do you get if a huge hairy monster steps on Batman and Robin? Flatman and Ribbon !,2.8,2,2,4,4,2 | |
| en,"I know ALL the digits of Pi Not the order, just the digits.",2.8,2,1,4,4,3 | |
| en,"so a flat walks into a bar . . . and the bartender looks up and says, "" g you're looking sharp . """,2.8,2,5,4,2,1 | |
| en,ababbaaaabbabbbbabababababbbaaabababbabaaaba. long time no C,2.8,5,1,5,1,2 | |
| en,What did they call the race car driver who won with a hen strapped to the hood of his car? Number One with a Pullet.,2.8,4,1,3,5,1 | |
| en,"twitter, because my work isn't just going to ignore itself .",2.8,1,3,3,3,4 | |
| en,"everyone needs a three hour nap after their breakfast pizza, right ?",2.8,3,2,4,3,2 | |
| en,What did Helen Keller say when she answered the phone? Ouch because she used the iron,2.8,2,4,2,4,2 | |
| en,My girlfriend makes me want to be a better man. so that I can get a better girlfriend,2.8,5,3,4,1,1 | |
| en,"a snail was mugged by two turtles . when the police asked him what happened, he said "" i don't know . it all happened so fast . """,2.8,3,2,2,3,4 | |
| en,How would you describe the typical Inuit mathematician? Cold and calculating.,2.8,3,2,2,2,5 | |
| en,Thanos is a hero For ending childhood hunger.,2.8,2,4,4,1,3 | |
| en,"if you leave your house with one leg, that's going out on a limb .",2.8,3,1,1,5,4 | |
| en,How many palindromes do I know of? Not a ton,2.8,3,4,1,4,2 | |
| en,"when the hostess at the restaurant says "" table for two ? "", i always like to look surprised and whisper "" you can see her too ? "" .",2.8,4,2,3,2,3 | |
| en,What do vampires have at eleven o'clock every day? A coffin break.,2.8,5,1,4,3,1 | |
| en,Why did the Dark Ages existed? Because there were 'nights.,2.8,4,4,2,3,1 | |
| en,Girls wait for the perfect guy: Disney's fault. Guys wait for the perfect girl: Playboy's fault,2.8,3,2,4,2,3 | |
| en,how can you tell that a straight pin is confused? just look at it . it's headed in one direction and pointed in the other .,2.8,3,4,4,2,1 | |
| en,i always try not to judge people. which is probably why i lost my job as a judge !,2.8,2,3,5,3,1 | |
| en,Why did King Kong.... Climb the Empire State Building? ...He couldn't fit in the elevator.,2.8,5,1,3,1,4 | |
| en,"i was walking though a forest with a young girl the other night and she said "" i'm scared "" i said "" your scared, i've gotta walk back on my own """,2.8,3,1,1,4,5 | |
| en,"Did anybody else see the lunar eclipse tonight? I looked, but I couldn't see it.",2.8,3,3,2,5,1 | |
| en,If you stand by the sea... ...it sounds like putting a shell to your ear.,2.8,3,2,4,3,2 | |
| en,waitress : would you prefer your order with a side of fries or salad? me : would you prefer your tip with cash or advice,2.8,1,2,3,3,5 | |
| en,what do you call a group of people standing in the arctic circle? a finnish line .,2.8,2,4,3,3,2 | |
| en,"when someone tells you that they cut their own hair, it's polite to act surprised",2.8,3,5,1,4,1 | |
| en,"Wow, I just passed my probability exam. What were the chances of that?",2.8,3,2,4,3,2 | |
| en,"christmas song single bells, single bells . single all the way . my crush said let's be friends . friendzone all the way !",2.8,5,3,1,1,4 | |
| en,waiter i can't seem to find any oysters in this oyster soup. would you expect to find angels in angel cake ?,2.8,3,1,5,3,2 | |
| en,Exterminators: The only profession in which you put yourself out of business by being really good at your job.,2.8,2,2,4,3,3 | |
| en,"gift horse "" my gums are bleeding. "" dentist "" well this is a professional dilemma threedots """,2.8,5,3,2,2,2 | |
| en,what would happen if pigs could fly? bacon would go up !,2.8,3,3,3,4,1 | |
| en,What kind of cheese can be used to build a structure? Cottage cheese.,2.8,5,4,1,3,1 | |
| en,The most artistic boxer Just watched some Evander Holyfield highlight videos. Such artistry! He's like the Vincent Van Gogh of the boxing world.,2.8,2,1,5,3,3 | |
| en,My trip to Beruit was so fun! I had such a blast!,2.8,5,2,1,4,2 | |
| en,Autocorrect is horrible. I'm so tired of this shirt,2.8,1,3,2,4,4 | |
| en,"What is the origin of the word ""Boob""? The ""B"" is the aerial view, the ""oo"" is the front view, the ""b"" is the side view.",2.8,2,1,3,3,5 | |
| en,Why do computers only come in black? Because they have a motherboard.,2.6,5,1,1,1,5 | |
| en,If a stork is the bird that brings the babies what bird takes them away? The swallow,2.6,2,5,1,1,4 | |
| en,"wife : how was the doctor? me : bad i'm dying wife : i know , how was the doctor",2.6,3,3,3,3,1 | |
| en,What did the hen use to finish her homework? A cluckulator,2.6,4,4,2,2,1 | |
| en,What does a chef and a gravitational wave astronomer have in common? They both work in gastronomy,2.6,4,2,4,2,1 | |
| en,Knew a guy who fashioned an entire suit out of rubber bands. He was quite the snappy dresser,2.6,3,2,1,3,4 | |
| en,why did the nickel jump off the building but the dime didn't? the dime had more cents .,2.6,2,2,2,2,5 | |
| en,My daughter is so brave She thought she could take it,2.6,1,2,4,5,1 | |
| en,My life without you is like a car without steering wheel I drive a tesla,2.6,1,3,4,2,3 | |
| en,Tossed and turned all night. I gotta stop moisturizing with salad dressing,2.6,3,3,1,3,3 | |
| en,"The difference between a smart man and a wise man is that a smart man knows what to say, a wise man knows whether or not to say it...",2.6,4,2,2,3,2 | |
| en,"truth time : i've been cheating on my diet. with a younger , more attractive diet",2.6,1,1,3,3,5 | |
| en,Why did the bumble bee have sticky fur? Because he used a honey comb.,2.6,2,2,2,4,3 | |
| en,"Nic Cage was a straight A highschool student but he slacked off one semester. When he got his report card, he shouted ""Bs! Not the Bs!""",2.6,1,5,5,1,1 | |
| en,my toddler puts his pants on just like everyone else. one arm at a time,2.6,2,3,1,2,5 | |
| en,What do Polish Hussars and toothpaste have in common? They both fight against Tartars.,2.6,1,3,4,1,4 | |
| en,How did the telephone technician catch his fish? By dropping them a line.,2.6,2,2,5,3,1 | |
| en,Amputees can be pretty stubborn. You've really got to hand it to them,2.6,1,5,1,2,4 | |
| en,i hope i get a watch for christmas! because there's no present like the time .,2.6,2,3,1,5,2 | |
| en,"A rabbi, a priest, and a Lutheran minister walk into a bar. The bartender looks up and says, Is this a joke?",2.6,5,3,1,1,3 | |
| en,"My ex... My ex was like a rock pool. Shallow, but interesting. And upon closer inspection I found crabs.",2.6,4,1,3,4,1 | |
| en,How many Jon Snows does it take to change a light bulb? It wouldn't matter. Jon Snow knows nothing.,2.6,4,3,3,1,2 | |
| en,"Someone stole your tiny Stradivarius? Aw, poor baby, I'm playing the world's smallest violin for you. It's, uh, a different one. Gotta go.",2.6,3,2,2,2,4 | |
| en,doctor doctor you have to help me out! certainly which way did you come in ?,2.6,1,2,5,2,3 | |
| en,If you're a Roman with epilepsy: Do you have Julius Seizures?,2.6,1,2,3,5,2 | |
| en,It's hard to trust humans; even the blind prefer to be guided by dogs.,2.6,5,1,5,1,1 | |
| en,"sorry i didn't text you back, but my phone recognized your number .",2.6,4,1,3,1,4 | |
| en,Why did the guy kick the broom out of his house? It swept with his girlfriend :P,2.6,3,3,3,2,2 | |
| en,if theres liquid water on mars i dont care about it. im not going to drink it,2.6,1,1,5,4,2 | |
| en,No matter how much I try to buy those supermarket conveyor belt dividers. The cashier just keeps putting them back,2.6,2,3,3,1,4 | |
| en,"i wouldn't say i never exercise. occasionally , my nose runs",2.6,3,2,3,2,3 | |
| en,"My friend's WoW character couldn't go forward anymore. You'll never guess what he said !? "" wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww""",2.6,2,1,1,5,4 | |
| en,"Dear diary, Sometimes it just seems like I can't tell if something is an inanimate object or a person My therapist: Yes that's quite clear",2.6,4,1,2,1,5 | |
| en,I tried to teach a monkey new words by writing them on gigantic beach balls. Sadly he just couldn't get a grip on them.,2.6,2,4,1,4,2 | |
| en,why can't monday get a girlfriend? because it always comes to fast,2.6,4,1,3,2,3 | |
| en,doctor doctor i keep seeing an insect spinning around. don't worry it's just a bug that's going around !,2.6,3,1,4,2,3 | |
| en,"What's the difference between a bad coffee in Switzerland and a bad coffee in Italy? When you drink a bad coffee in Switzerland you say, ""Merci!"".",2.6,2,3,4,2,2 | |
| en,"My friend asked me if I'd ever seen a pub fight. ""I have not,"" I replied, ""and no other buildings for that matter.""",2.6,2,3,4,2,2 | |
| en,what did one ghost say to the other? do you believe in people,2.6,4,2,1,3,3 | |
| en,What do you call a dinosaur that's in a hurry? A Prontosaur.,2.6,4,2,1,4,2 | |
| en,"why did the canadian dj turn down a gig at a local gym? because why mc , eh",2.6,3,1,2,2,5 | |
| en,My Bakery Burned Down Last Night. Now my business is toast,2.6,1,3,3,2,4 | |
| en,"What did the french food critic say when he was given a savoury pancake? ""It's crepe""",2.6,2,1,5,2,3 | |
| en,How do tree surgeons live? Life on the hedge!,2.6,3,2,2,3,3 | |
| en,Why Is Chemistry Racist? It's very selective. Edit. My first time making a joke. I know I can't make a joke. This is not directed at anyone.,2.6,5,5,1,1,1 | |
| en,NATURAL BLONDE Q: What do you call a blonde who dyes her hair? A: Artifical intelligence.,2.6,1,2,4,1,5 | |
| en,I had a heated argument with my wife last night. Apparently leaving the water heater on got me in hot water,2.6,5,2,2,2,2 | |
| en,what's the difference between an elevator and a redditor? an elevator has a gf,2.6,2,2,5,2,2 | |
| en,What happened when the astrophysicist lost a competition? He got a constellation prize.,2.6,1,4,4,1,3 | |
| en,I can do a Snake impression My friends say it's pretty solid,2.6,2,4,2,1,4 | |
| en,I was looking for recipes for diabetics The website offered me cookies!,2.6,3,1,3,1,5 | |
| en,customer : why do you own a hot dog stand when you draw and write ? me : wanna buy my book ? them : no. me : that's why i own a hot dog stand,2.6,3,2,3,3,2 | |
| en,what do you eat when you fly? plane food or plain food,2.6,1,3,2,2,5 | |
| en,"I forgot where boomerangs land. Oh, wait. It's coming back to me.",2.6,1,4,3,2,3 | |
| en,"Here's to the kisses that I snatched, and Vice versa. Bottoms up fellas",2.6,1,3,3,5,1 | |
| en,"being a parent means often saying your child is shy rather than "" he sees how creepy u are, that's why he doesn't want to shake your hand "" .",2.6,4,1,2,3,3 | |
| en,Why did the anthropologist eat a lot of yogurt? So that he could understand culture.,2.6,2,3,1,3,4 | |
| en,"""Where was you at? "" I was probably not skipping English class.",2.6,3,4,1,4,1 | |
| en,There's a metal band that plays while on soapy water. Slipknot,2.6,3,2,2,4,2 | |
| en,"The spider I just killed with a napkin isn't in the napkin, and now I'm in a circle of salt reciting incantations.",2.6,3,2,4,1,3 | |
| en,How did Eddard Stark get his daily recommended amount of fiber? Raisin' Bran.,2.6,3,3,3,2,2 | |
| en,where does a shoulder work? in the army .,2.6,1,1,3,5,3 | |
| en,Has anyone here seen the Matthew McConaughey movie where he keeps getting grouchy in the early evenings and no one can figure out why...? Failure to Lunch,2.6,4,3,3,1,2 | |
| en,What did stevie wonder say when he saw a robbery in an alleyway... ........,2.6,1,4,2,2,4 | |
| en,what do you call a used rubber in a church parking lot? family practice,2.6,4,1,4,1,3 | |
| en,Is it vegan If it's made from vegans?,2.6,1,3,3,5,1 | |
| en,can we survive without whales? no whey .,2.6,2,2,3,5,1 | |
| en,Why did the burglar avoid stealing the kitchen utensils? He decided it wasn't worth the wisk.,2.6,3,1,1,5,3 | |
| en,Why are spiders so unproductive? Because they hang out on the web all day!,2.6,5,1,2,3,2 | |
| en,What type of pasta is no longer used in Canada? Penny ...,2.6,3,5,3,1,1 | |
| en,"That moment when your crush is absent, and you wasted your time going to school.",2.6,3,2,2,2,4 | |
| en,how do you blind a woman? you put a windshield in front of her .,2.6,3,2,5,1,2 | |
| en,Why did Saint Francis cry? Someone called him Assisi.,2.6,2,1,1,4,5 | |
| en,"i got a fitbit to get a sense for my activity level after a few days of wearing it, it asked if i was a tree",2.6,4,4,2,2,1 | |
| en,"just once when someone says , "" is anyone there? "" in a scary movie , i want the villain to be like . "" what up . i'm over here . you got me . """,2.6,3,3,1,2,4 | |
| en,"one thing that i have never had in the glove box of my car, is a pair of gloves .",2.6,4,1,3,2,3 | |
| en,"i didnt lose, i just ran out of time to win .",2.6,4,4,1,3,1 | |
| en,what do you call a website that steals all of reddit's hitler jokes? nein gag .,2.6,3,2,2,2,4 | |
| en,"What did the composer say on a date? ""I'm a Classic Romantic....I'm also Baroque.""",2.6,3,3,4,1,2 | |
| en,I just told my girlfriend that I was an Italian mite in a past life. I'm a Roman tick at heart,2.6,5,1,2,3,2 | |
| en,"While I fully intended to ""sleep my way to the top, "" it appears I've napped my way to the middle.",2.6,4,1,4,2,2 | |
| en,What does Eckhart Tolle get for Christmas? Presence,2.6,3,1,2,4,3 | |
| en,What do you call a tired skeleton? The Grim Sleeper,2.6,2,3,5,1,2 | |
| en,Best thing about being a hermit? No peer pressure.,2.6,1,3,2,4,3 | |
| en,What's the difference between an Art major and a guy who mops bathrooms at KFC? One has a job.,2.6,3,3,1,4,2 | |
| en,"cleaning out the garage , i found some things i didn't even realize i had. like a tent , a new printer , and a fourth kid",2.6,1,4,3,4,1 | |
| en,When he's out driving where does Dracula like to stop and eat? The Happy Biter.,2.6,1,4,1,2,5 | |
| en,Last night I wanted to figure out what my Christmas present was so I repeatedly shook it. This morning I found out it WAS a kitten.,2.6,2,4,3,2,2 | |
| en,Did you hear about the man who got a hatchet stuck in his teeth? It was accidental.,2.6,2,2,2,5,2 | |
| en,"I got a bite the first time I went fishing. I panicked and phoned the Fisherman's Advice Bureau to see what I should do. ""Please hold the line,"" they said!",2.6,4,4,1,1,3 | |
| en,"Never date a chemist, they seduce you with their magnetism, only call you periodically, then one day: Boom! They Argon.",2.6,2,2,2,2,5 | |
| en,If you believe in the end of the world tomorrow. I'm going to keep making end of the world jokes like there's no tomorrow,2.6,5,4,2,1,1 | |
| en,What was the most successful love story in Game of Thrones? Shireen. She was only on Tinder for a couple of minutes.,2.6,1,5,2,4,1 | |
| en,What is red and keeps getting smaller? A baby with a cheese slicer,2.6,1,3,2,4,3 | |
| en,"I'm so bored with life, I've decided to read the Oxford English Dictionary from start to finish. I'm past caring",2.6,3,1,4,1,4 | |
| en,What do you say when leaving the Periodic Table of Elements' police station? Cu Copper.,2.6,5,2,1,2,3 | |
| en,what's your favorite thing about earth? it's just got such a great atmosphere .,2.6,1,4,4,3,1 | |
| en,Women find me hard to resist That Glock serves me quite well,2.6,1,4,2,4,2 | |
| en,Monster: Someone told me Dr Frankenstein invented the safety match. Igor: Yes that was one of his most striking achievements,2.6,2,3,3,3,2 | |
| en,"They say imitation is the highest form of flattery, but actually. A plateau is",2.6,2,3,3,3,2 | |
| en,Why do writers always feel cold? Because they are surrounded by drafts!,2.6,2,3,3,3,2 | |
| en,What does a stripper eat for thanksgiving dinner? Twerky,2.6,3,3,3,3,1 | |
| en,whats a feminist least favorite football team? MANchester united,2.6,1,4,4,1,3 | |
| en,Why are Chameleons surprisingly good at flying? Because they are always in duh skies,2.6,2,3,4,2,2 | |
| en,did you see the movie invisible? i couldn't,2.6,5,3,3,1,1 | |
| en,"Remember when all bombs looked like a black bowling ball with a giant wick in the top? Yep, simpler times.",2.6,4,2,4,2,1 | |
| en,"Ah, water. Giver of life. Destroyer of witches. Improver of tee shirt contests.",2.6,4,2,1,4,2 | |
| en,Two coffees were walking down the street. One of them was mugged,2.4,1,2,3,4,2 | |
| en,What kind of bird flies around bays? Bagles,2.4,1,3,4,2,2 | |
| en,i'm selling books on how to avoid saying the wrong thing and getting into fights. who wants some ?,2.4,1,5,4,1,1 | |
| en,I would never get an abortion... Why spend the money when the stairs are free.,2.4,1,4,1,5,1 | |
| en,"Today I purchased a cherry tree and a firecracker. Bought a Bing, bought a boom.",2.4,2,2,2,3,3 | |
| en,My doctor told me I should be on a staple diet. I told him I don't think I can digest metal and walked out,2.4,2,2,5,2,1 | |
| en,What does NASA stand for? Needs another seven astronauts,2.4,3,2,4,1,2 | |
| en,"great . only a single slice of bread left in the bag . that means until i find another slice, everything that happens today is in the sandwich",2.4,3,1,4,2,2 | |
| en,What do you calla person that inherits a lot of money? A millionheir.,2.4,2,2,2,4,2 | |
| en,What does a owl say when it stumps it foot? OOOOOWWWWLLLL....,2.4,1,3,5,2,1 | |
| en,"The kiss is a wordless articulation of desire whose object lies in the future, and somewhat to the south.",2.4,4,1,1,3,3 | |
| en,Why was the headmaster worried? Because there were too many rulers in school!,2.4,4,2,3,1,2 | |
| en,"pick something up . you just applied more force on that object than the gravity of an entire planet . earth, do you even lift ?",2.4,4,2,1,2,3 | |
| en,Up next: How to sound good in a band... Stay tuned!!,2.4,3,1,3,2,3 | |
| en,"sweet potato fries. could be made from sweet potatoes, or they could just be really awesome potato fries",2.4,3,2,1,4,2 | |
| en,"My wife told me that she hates revolving doors and is afraid that she'll get stuck in them. I said, 'You'll come round eventually.""",2.4,4,1,1,3,3 | |
| en,Aquaman: Come on in the water is great. Ironman: Sorry dude I have rust issues,2.4,4,1,2,1,4 | |
| en,How do you compliment a pickle rapper's verse? That was dill!,2.4,4,2,2,2,2 | |
| en,What kind of rain do they have at the North Pole? Reindeer.,2.4,1,3,2,2,4 | |
| en,how much did the skeleton charge for his excellent legal services? an arm and a leg .,2.4,2,2,3,2,3 | |
| en,What is the Great Saiyaman's favorite Adam Sandler movie? You Don't Mess with the Gohan,2.4,1,2,4,3,2 | |
| en,"My wife hated my impulse purchase of a revolving chair, but then she sat on it. Eventually she came round",2.4,1,3,1,3,4 | |
| en,"I've Just Set Up a Brothel At Sea for Horny Sailors. business is generally good, but clients tend come in large waves",2.4,1,2,1,4,4 | |
| en,What do you call someone who hates cold weather? A southerner,2.4,5,3,1,1,2 | |
| en,"All I do is eat, drink, sleep and tweet. I'm basically just a more annoying version of a Tamagotchi",2.4,2,2,2,3,3 | |
| en,It's uncomfortable talking about how i got my cat fixed last week. But sometimes you gotta call a spayed a spayed,2.4,2,3,5,1,1 | |
| en,what food is good for the brain? noodle soup .,2.4,2,1,3,3,3 | |
| en,why do blondes like blonde jokes? it makes them feel popular .,2.4,4,3,3,1,1 | |
| en,"If sandman had plushie, what would it be called? Sandals",2.4,5,1,2,3,1 | |
| en,"If you were receiving a shipment of very rare, very special insects, would it be. Import Ant",2.4,1,4,1,4,2 | |
| en,Mrs Claus hospitalised with severe cramps. Heavy Christmas period to blame,2.4,1,2,4,3,2 | |
| en,"what did the american vet did when he came to back from vietnam? "" the guns wasn't in the horse fixing resume ! """,2.4,3,2,4,2,1 | |
| en,"Whenever I see people exercising early in the morning I think, ""Wow! I'm so impressed I'm up this early!""",2.4,3,2,2,1,4 | |
| en,Where do spiders play their FA Cup final? Webley stadium !,2.4,2,1,5,1,3 | |
| en,stress? don't talk to me about stress . some of my favorite tv characters are currently in truly sticky situations,2.4,5,1,2,3,1 | |
| en,"life is like a cup of coffee threedots no matter how much sugar you put in it, there's always grounds at the end .",2.4,2,3,2,1,4 | |
| en,"What does the ""Q"" from ""Iraq"" stands for? Quicksilver",2.4,2,3,1,4,2 | |
| en,"how do men in new zealand address their women? "" hey ! ewe ! """,2.4,1,5,2,3,1 | |
| en,"dear board of education , so are we. sincerely , students",2.4,3,3,3,1,2 | |
| en,A girl winked at me.... With her both eyes,2.4,3,2,4,1,2 | |
| en,I come from a musical family. Even our sewing machine was a singer,2.4,4,1,1,5,1 | |
| en,What do French people do when they don't have bottles of their favourite beverage? They go to Cannes,2.4,4,2,1,3,2 | |
| en,why do sumo wrestlers shave their legs? so people don't confuse them with feminists .,2.4,4,1,4,2,1 | |
| en,What did the Italian historian ask when he saw the original copies of one of the tragedian's greatest plays? Euripides,2.4,1,3,1,5,2 | |
| en,"What did Jennifer Lawrence say to Julius Caesar? ...""May the Ides be ever in your favor.""",2.4,1,4,1,2,4 | |
| en,Why was the Astronaut cold? He forgot to bring a space heater.,2.4,4,3,1,2,2 | |
| en,My best friend seems homeless... He's a minimalist.,2.4,2,5,3,1,1 | |
| en,Why did the Turkey join the band? because he had two Drumsticks.,2.4,3,3,2,2,2 | |
| en,I got chatting to a lumberjack in a pub. He seemed like a decent feller,2.4,2,5,1,1,3 | |
| en,What is a common question at lizards' fast food joints? You want flies with that,2.4,4,3,1,2,2 | |
| en,"if they ever start charging for air threedots i'll buy a bag of chips, at least it will be a package deal .",2.4,3,1,3,1,4 | |
| en,what do you get if you cross king kong with a snowman? frostbite .,2.4,2,1,3,2,4 | |
| en,"What has gas, liquid and solids on it at the same time? Uranus.",2.4,4,2,1,4,1 | |
| en,I don't know what the question is. But violins is not the answer,2.4,1,2,4,4,1 | |
| en,What's the best thing about little girls? You can flip em over and pretend they're little boys,2.4,1,3,3,4,1 | |
| en,what do you mean pi r square? pies are round,2.4,3,2,3,1,3 | |
| en,"A doctor was listening to a teenage girl's heart ""All right,"" he said, ""take big breaths."" ""What? "" she said. ""Big breaths!"" ""Yeth!"" she said. ""And I'm only thixteen!""",2.4,2,4,3,2,1 | |
| en,i actually loved the twilight: eclipse movie until i realized i was actually in an alley drunk watching two cats fight over a dead mouse .,2.4,1,2,1,5,3 | |
| en,What do you call a Sith Lord who lives in the woods? Darth Deciduous,2.4,3,2,2,4,1 | |
| en,this homeless guy just asked me if i was okay. i told him i was a little grumpy because i haven't eaten in three hours,2.4,4,3,2,1,2 | |
| en,"Why was the pregnant woman screaming ""wouldn't, shouldn't, couldn't!""? She was having contractions.",2.4,2,1,1,3,5 | |
| en,"what did the dog say to the tree threedots you've got a lot of bark, but no bite threedots",2.4,1,4,3,2,2 | |
| en,"Why do they say ""character actress""? Is that to differentiate them from the all those actresses that only play walls and bits of furniture",2.4,1,1,4,2,4 | |
| en,what's the biggest type of tree? a country .,2.4,2,1,4,3,2 | |
| en,"Why didn't the coffee and the tea get along? Because they were being ""brewed""",2.4,2,3,3,2,2 | |
| en,"If you factor in ""supply and demand""... she DOES NOT want the D. There is so much D trying to go around, not even the alphabet wants the D.",2.4,5,1,3,2,1 | |
| en,"Pepsi just bought out Nike. Nike's new slogan will be, ""Just Dew It""",2.4,2,3,2,3,2 | |
| en,"live a little , ask her "" are ya done? "" while she's still yelling at you .",2.4,1,5,2,1,3 | |
| en,"If I could be indestructible for a day, its scary how many sharks I'd make out with.",2.4,1,4,2,4,1 | |
| en,"If Kung Fu Panda taught me anything, it's that obese people can be accepted. so long as they know kung fu",2.4,4,3,2,2,1 | |
| en,what does the sun drink out of? sunglasses .,2.4,2,2,4,2,2 | |
| en,why are women's feet smaller than men's? so they can stand closer to the sink .,2.4,4,4,2,1,1 | |
| en,"So Philip Seymour Hoffman is in the new Hunger Games . . . If anything can bring him back, it's some powerful heroine.",2.4,1,4,2,1,4 | |
| en,I had a great abortion joke..... But I decided to not to go through with the delivery.,2.4,1,1,4,4,2 | |
| en,The best thing about black jokes on Reddit is... That the real joke is always in the comments. ,2.4,3,1,2,1,5 | |
| en,"Why did the Sudanese boy get arrested in Texas? I'm not exactly sure, but it was about time.",2.4,2,1,3,1,5 | |
| en,a horse hiking in deep space. star trek : deep space neigh,2.4,1,1,2,4,4 | |
| en,"i always have to throw out my animal crackers. they always have that label : "" do not eat if seal is broken """,2.4,3,2,2,3,2 | |
| en,"just so we're all clear: nasa is getting a direct feed from a robot on mars , but i still can't make a cell phone call from my basement .",2.4,2,2,2,3,3 | |
| en,Did you hear about the dog that saved his owners life who was having a heart attack? It was a heart warning story,2.4,1,2,3,1,5 | |
| en,"i showed my family facebook a few years ago , and haven't heard from them since. best decision ever",2.4,3,3,1,1,4 | |
| en,"Everyone's a contrarian these days. Well, except for me of course",2.4,1,3,2,4,2 | |
| en,"Why did the plant say after being watered? ""I'm not hungry exactly, but I could still use a light snack"".",2.4,3,3,2,1,3 | |
| en,Why do tennis players love vending machines? Because they don't have to wait to for their food to be served.,2.4,4,2,2,3,1 | |
| en,You know what I call a tube that comes with a caulk? A caulk block.,2.4,3,1,4,2,2 | |
| en,Where do rabbits go after their wedding? On their bunnymoon.,2.4,2,2,3,2,3 | |
| en,bloody good question how can you ever be late for anything in london? they have a huge clock right in the middle of the town .,2.4,2,2,3,3,2 | |
| en,My son asked today: Why the dude's ear is blinking blue? Because he has a blue tooth in his ear...,2.4,3,1,3,4,1 | |
| en,"always put your best foot forward. unless you're wearing crocs , then neither foot is your best",2.4,4,2,2,1,3 | |
| en,Dad: Son. Get me that Doptid Son: What's a Doptid Dad : You are,2.4,1,1,1,4,5 | |
| en,how does alfred call batman for dinner? dinner dinner dinner dinner dinner dinner dinner dinner batman !,2.4,4,1,1,4,2 | |
| en,Why did the person with high blood pressure sue the cook who put sodium in his food? It was a salt.,2.4,3,2,1,1,5 | |
| en,Who did the breeder call when his horse was possessed by an evil spirit? An exhorsist!,2.4,3,1,1,3,4 | |
| en,China's economy is doing perfectly fine. I hear it's booming,2.4,4,2,3,2,1 | |
| en,"What do you call the occasionally toxic, organic substances that accumulate over the years in a hoarder's house? Horticulture.",2.4,2,3,3,2,2 | |
| en,What does the last man on earth watch on tv? reruns,2.4,2,2,1,5,2 | |
| en,why are they still playing christmas commercials? me watching recorded tv shows,2.4,1,4,2,1,4 | |
| en,What Do You Call a Romantic Basketball Player? Love Shaq,2.4,2,1,3,5,1 | |
| en,I have decided to write all of my jokes in capitals from now on. This one was written in Tokyo,2.4,1,4,3,1,3 | |
| en,Did you hear about the boxer who fought his own clone? The resemblance was striking.,2.4,3,2,2,2,3 | |
| en,Fred Flintstone only gets haircuts in the UAE. It's the only place he can get an Abu Dhabi Do,2.4,4,1,2,1,4 | |
| en,"i give in to peer pressure my friends went on a diet, so i joined in to try to fit in .",2.4,2,5,1,2,2 | |
| en,"Settle down, Levi's commercial. You are talking about pants",2.4,4,1,1,5,1 | |
| en,What do you call Russian trees? Dimitrees,2.4,1,1,2,4,4 | |
| en,"The four stages of matter for Germans Solid, liquid, gas and ashes ",2.4,4,1,1,5,1 | |
| en,What has four wheels and flys? A garbage truck.,2.4,4,2,1,2,3 | |
| en,i'm pretty great with money. folks keep calling me and telling me my accounts are outstanding,2.4,1,3,3,3,2 | |
| en,"What do buzzards in Kansas eat? Carrion, my wayward son.",2.4,3,2,1,4,2 | |
| en,"my girlfriend said that me being a mime was too much, and she was leaving but i couldn't bring myself to say anything",2.2,1,1,2,4,3 | |
| en,Knock knock Who's there? Little boy blue. Little boy blue who? Me in the bus station toilet.,2.2,5,1,1,2,2 | |
| en,How do you make a peanut butter and Reddit sandwich? You spreddit.,2.2,2,1,2,3,3 | |
| en,"What is long, hard and there to please your lover? A bad movie!",2.2,3,1,2,1,4 | |
| en,What do you call if a bunch of disabled people dress up as army? Special forces,2.2,1,3,4,1,2 | |
| en,Who can watch an R rated movie but not a PG? Batman,2.2,5,1,1,3,1 | |
| en,"What did the Goat living in Manama say when it starting raining? ""BAAAHH RAIN!""",2.2,2,2,3,2,2 | |
| en,"Doctor! Doctor! I think I have Barry Manilow's disease! ""What are your symptoms? "" ""I can't laugh and I can't sing. I'm finding it hard to do anything!""",2.2,2,2,4,2,1 | |
| en,There is one common point between dark humor and make a wish kids... Both will never get old.,2.2,2,3,4,1,1 | |
| en,im going on a date with my GF after she's born.,2.2,2,1,5,2,1 | |
| en,what did the man say when the calculator agreed to help him load the car? i knew i could count on you,2.2,5,1,2,1,2 | |
| en,"dear sharks: you may get your own week on tv , but house cats get their own eternity on the internet .",2.2,3,2,4,1,1 | |
| en,So I ordered a pizza I ordered a funghi pizza yesterday but I was pretty disappointed. They obviously have mushroom for improvement,2.2,2,1,3,3,2 | |
| en,"forget klondike, you should see what i'd do for an open bar .",2.2,4,1,2,1,3 | |
| en,I'm invincible. I can not be Vinced,2.2,3,2,2,3,1 | |
| en,"To avoid butterflies in your stomach, don't eat caterpillars.",2.2,1,3,1,2,4 | |
| en,. no shoes no shirt no problem welcome to walmart,2.2,1,5,1,3,1 | |
| en,Knock Knock Who's there ! Ayatollah ! Ayatollah who? Ayatollah you already !,2.2,3,1,4,2,1 | |
| en,what's the world's longest sentence? threedots i do .,2.2,1,1,5,2,2 | |
| en,"If a baby horse swears at it's mother, would this be classed as foal language?",2.2,1,2,2,1,5 | |
| en,What's a life without manitees? A life with out porpoise.,2.2,1,3,2,3,2 | |
| en,"What's the holiest, French color? Sacred blue!",2.2,2,3,1,4,1 | |
| en,How do I love thee? Let me count the ways... Five.,2.2,2,1,2,2,4 | |
| en,What is a tick's favorite fruit? Lime.,2.2,2,2,2,2,3 | |
| en,"Liz from HR just called me in. I guess my thigh gap is distracting everyone, like that's my fault",2.2,1,2,2,2,4 | |
| en,"True friendship is when you walk into someone's house, and your WiFi connects automatically..",2.2,2,5,2,1,1 | |
| en,who's the world's greatest underwater spy? pond . james pond .,2.2,2,1,2,3,3 | |
| en,A stampede of homeless people was heading to the local shelter. One might say they were bum rushed,2.2,1,2,3,1,4 | |
| en,"looking back, I wish I'd bought my baked beans online. Heinz site's a wonderful thing",2.2,1,2,5,1,2 | |
| en,What does a policeman get for doing overtime on the chemistry lab murder? His Copper Nitrate,2.2,2,2,3,2,2 | |
| en,why couldn't mario ever watch netflix with peach? because the princess was always on another castle .,2.2,1,2,1,4,3 | |
| en,why does bob ross hide his wife's razor? so she always has a happy little bush !,2.2,2,3,1,3,2 | |
| en,What did the bird army say when running away? Retweet,2.2,3,1,1,2,4 | |
| en,About Lily Probably a repost but I don't care: Why did Lily fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Lily.,2.2,1,4,1,2,3 | |
| en,Him: Want to play Trivial Pursuit? Me: Sure. But I guarantee you'll win. I'm not that smart. Him: Want to play strip Trivial Pursuit,2.2,1,1,4,1,4 | |
| en,Why did the pirate go to Egypt? He was looking for aRRRRtifacts.,2.2,3,1,4,2,1 | |
| en,I don't date married men. I mean I wouldn't call it dating,2.2,1,1,4,2,3 | |
| en,I learned how to talk to animals today. Now they just have to learn to listen,2.2,3,1,1,2,4 | |
| en,"i tried to take a photo of a huge bug in my bathroom, but when i put a coin next to it for scale it took the coin and put it in its wallet .",2.2,2,1,2,3,3 | |
| en,Did you hear about the baker who became a fisherman? He's reeling in the dough!,2.2,2,1,2,2,4 | |
| en,why is a ghost like an empty house? because there's no body there !,2.2,4,3,2,1,1 | |
| en,"when does a dog go "" moo ""? when it is learning a new language !",2.2,2,1,2,5,1 | |
| en,What is every Redditor's blood type? Edit: TypO,2.2,2,3,3,2,1 | |
| en,What do you do when you meet a robotic genie? You mech a wish.,2.2,2,3,2,2,2 | |
| en,"I wanted to tell you a FedEx joke. But there was already one yesterday, and I don't want you to get FedUp",2.2,2,2,2,3,2 | |
| en,"You guys hear about the new Lebron James phone? It only vibrates, it doesn't have a ring.",2.2,1,4,1,4,1 | |
| en,Middle only pie A middle only pie could make someone a lot of money. But I donno if they could contain the business,2.2,1,1,4,3,2 | |
| en,Why did the viper viper nose? Because the adder adder hankerchief !,2.2,1,3,1,5,1 | |
| en,My wife left me for a fisherman. Poor guy's still reeling,2.2,5,3,1,1,1 | |
| en,Did I ever tell you about how I lost my job at Tropicana? I couldn't concentrate.,2.2,4,2,1,3,1 | |
| en,What's Rick Ross's favorite nursery rhyme? Ring Around the Rooooozaaay.,2.2,1,5,1,2,2 | |
| en,"A secretary walks into her boss's office and says, ""Can I use your Dictaphone? "" He says, ""No, dial with your finger like everyone else.""",2.2,1,2,4,2,2 | |
| en,what is better than a cold bud? a warm bush .,2.2,2,3,2,1,3 | |
| en,I'm going to name my son Red so he'll grow up to be a wise sportswriter or the prison inmate who knows how to get things. Hopefully both,2.2,3,1,3,1,3 | |
| en,Did you hear about the blood drive organizer from Portland who died in a car crash? He was an Oregon donor.,2.2,3,3,1,3,1 | |
| en,why couldn't the physicists change the lightbulb? too much work .,2.2,1,4,1,4,1 | |
| en,""" how'd the session go with your new therapist? "" "" it was a waste of time . he just kept showing me pictures of my parents fighting . """,2.2,1,4,2,3,1 | |
| en,did you get that joke about the titanic? it took a while to sink in .,2.2,4,2,3,1,1 | |
| en,What do you say encourage a Koala to beat his personal best while bench pressing at the gym Bro Eucalyptus!,2.2,3,4,2,1,1 | |
| en,how much did harambe drink in the bar? just a couple of shots,2.2,1,4,2,2,2 | |
| en,"Why do people throw coins into foutains? Why do people throw coins into fountains? I don't know, doesn't make any cents.",2.2,1,5,2,1,2 | |
| en,"I believe in ten years, gifts for newly born baby would be a SIM card and a cell phone.",2.2,1,1,3,3,3 | |
| en,Teacher: in this class you should love logarithms. Student: what if they don't reciprocate? Sorry for the bad math joke... but it was just too good.,2.2,1,2,2,5,1 | |
| en,""" take the wheel harry ! "" said the nervous lady driver. "" there's a tree coming straight for us ! """,2.2,1,2,3,2,3 | |
| en,"My butcher introduced me to his wife the other day. He brought her out and said, ""meet patty""",2.2,1,4,1,2,3 | |
| en,HR: You know why we called you down? Me:Hm. Promotion? HR: You know we monitor internet usage right? Me: I'd like to reporting a hacking,2.2,2,4,3,1,1 | |
| en,how far can this plane go with just one engine? all the way to the crash site !,2.2,1,4,1,2,3 | |
| en,"I would dress like Batman more often, but I cant run the risk of giant aliens invading and mistaking me for a large Pez dispenser.",2.2,2,2,1,4,2 | |
| en,"If a crackhouse is filled with love, it becomes a crackhome..",2.2,1,2,4,3,1 | |
| en,"The prayer uttered most often by pet owners and parents of small children: ""Please, God, let that be chocolate.""",2.2,1,3,4,2,1 | |
| en,how did the woman feel when she got run over by a car? tired .,2.2,4,1,4,1,1 | |
| en,How do you mail an egg? In a henvelope!,2.2,2,2,3,2,2 | |
| en,Little Anne was trying to cheat on an exam when suddenly... She got a heart attack. ,2.2,3,1,3,1,3 | |
| en,"""Why is there sweat on my handbag? "" ""Calm down, it's just a little pursepiration.""",2.2,3,2,2,1,3 | |
| en,I lost a game of chess Turns out the queen and the king were in a compromised position,2.2,2,3,1,2,3 | |
| en,I sweat less when I wear sunglasses. Because I feel cooler,2.2,1,2,2,3,3 | |
| en,"What is always in the corner, but can travel around the world? A postage stamp!",2.2,3,3,1,2,2 | |
| en,What's the smartest piece of lab equipment? A graduated cylinder.,2.2,1,2,4,2,2 | |
| en,"""Where there's a will, there's a way"" is a great self motivational phrase Until an inheritance is involved",2.2,4,2,1,2,2 | |
| en,what professional hates going to the bar? a lawyer,2.2,3,3,1,3,1 | |
| en,"q : why do you look out the window in the morning? a : because you can't see through walls , and you can't see anything at night anyway .",2.2,2,1,3,1,4 | |
| en,"I love my life, but it just wants to be friends...",2.2,1,3,3,1,3 | |
| en,Which bird is always out of breath? A puffin !,2.2,2,2,2,4,1 | |
| en,What do snake charmers do in the rain? Turn on their windshield vipers.,2.2,3,3,1,2,2 | |
| en,why did the pirate date the mermaid? he thought finding x in her algebra would lead to booty .,2.2,1,2,2,3,3 | |
| en,I like litte dogs But i can never eat a whole one.,2.2,1,2,3,1,4 | |
| en,"why learn a second language, when you don't have anything interesting to say in your first one ?",2.2,2,2,2,4,1 | |
| en,"if your clock strikes thirteen , what time is it? time to get a new clock .",2.2,4,1,2,2,2 | |
| en,Mom holding crying baby: He just needs to be changed. Me: Yeah hopefully into a puppy or something quieter,2.2,1,1,5,1,3 | |
| en,"Sometimes, I feel like driving north On parkway south",2.2,1,5,1,2,2 | |
| en,"so, when does this adulthood thing start then ?",2.2,2,4,1,3,1 | |
| en,what's father christmas called when he takes a rest while delivering presents? santa pause !,2.2,2,3,3,1,2 | |
| en,im not narcissistic. i'm perfect,2.2,2,1,4,3,1 | |
| en,"I remember my grandfather's last words I remember my grandfather's last words: ""Is that loaded?""",2.2,1,5,1,3,1 | |
| en,Why did the 'A' go to the bathroom and come out an 'E'? It had a vowel movement.,2.2,3,1,3,1,3 | |
| en,"i promise you that there are three types of people in this world. those who keep their promises , and those who don't",2.2,3,3,2,1,2 | |
| en,Apparently Stephen Hawking is in hospital after he went on a date last night. She stood him up,2.2,2,1,4,2,2 | |
| en,What's common between Hiroshima and Alabama? Kaboom!,2.2,1,3,1,5,1 | |
| en,What do you call a Skyrim fan that is good at CSGO? Nova'kiin,2.2,1,3,3,2,2 | |
| en,I collected a lot of data trying to disprove observation bias. The results were exactly what I expected.,2.2,2,4,2,1,2 | |
| en,The turbaned man goes to the doctor... And the doctor asks his symptoms. He says he's sikh and in pain.,2.2,3,2,1,3,2 | |
| en,"You haven't Instagramed what you had for dinner yet? Please hurry up, the suspense is killing me.",2.2,4,1,3,2,1 | |
| en,I was telling people about my Mona Lisa joke. but I wasn't getting much of a smile about it,2.2,2,4,1,2,2 | |
| en,"my wife tried on a dress, it did not fit . she bought a cake out of frustration . it fit .",2.2,2,2,4,1,2 | |
| en,Where do dinosaurs get their pickles from? Vlasic Park,2.2,3,1,2,3,2 | |
| en,a piece of me is missing. i guess that i should stop asking people if they want a piece of me,2.2,2,4,2,1,2 | |
| en,"You think you have problems, I used a toothpick to get a toothpick out of my teeth this morning.",2.0,1,3,3,2,1 | |
| en,Who's Microsoft's favorite musician? Adele,2.0,3,1,1,2,3 | |
| en,"Whenever two people argue over something, yell out ""OBJECTION"" and then contradict the one wearing something you don't like.",2.0,4,1,2,2,1 | |
| en,Sometimes when I go to a buffet. I tip myself,2.0,2,1,4,2,1 | |
| en,"there's a lot of strange facts in this world if you think about it. for example , some people like when there's pulp in their orange juice",2.0,3,1,3,1,2 | |
| en,"do you remember when the most annoying thing on the internet was a dancing baby? yeah , good times",2.0,4,1,2,1,2 | |
| en,"if you weigh a whale at a whale weigh station , where do you weigh a pie? somewhere over the rainbow , weigh a pie .",2.0,2,3,2,1,2 | |
| en,Wife: He only hears what he wants to hear... Therapist: Is this true? Me: She's right. Space Jam is the greatest movie of all time.,2.0,1,3,4,1,1 | |
| en,What's the difference between Casper the ghost and Princess Diana? Casper could actually go through the wall!,2.0,1,3,3,2,1 | |
| en,I walked into a homeware store. Came out with a jacket made of bricks and some shoes made of marble.,2.0,1,1,4,3,1 | |
| en,What deadly disease can bowls contract? Ebowla,2.0,2,1,2,4,1 | |
| en,"Why does the ""forever alone"" keep a beehive next to his bed? Because royal jelly comes in handy... you know, for lowering cholesterol.",2.0,2,1,3,2,2 | |
| en,what kind of phone makes music? a saxophone .,2.0,2,3,1,2,2 | |
| en,This year I'm giving out a Halloween treat every child loves: some stern advice.,2.0,2,2,2,2,2 | |
| en,What happens when you throw a white hat into the Black Sea? The hat can't comment,2.0,1,1,5,2,1 | |
| en,Waiter your tie is in my soup! That's all right sir it's not shrinkable.,2.0,2,2,2,2,2 | |
| en,"as a father, i would refuse to give my daughter away at her wedding on the grounds that i would have to be there .",2.0,1,2,1,3,3 | |
| en,"when my large dog wants to sit beside me but my other slightly less large dog already is, he just sits on top of him",2.0,3,2,2,2,1 | |
| en,a man named time was hit in the neck by a turn right only sign it was right in the neck of time,2.0,4,2,2,1,1 | |
| en,my mother in law : did you put the weight on? me : no threedots actually i've lost some . you should have seen me month ago . i looked like you,2.0,1,3,2,2,2 | |
| en,"""When am I ever gonna use this?"" Asked the student to the algebra teacher ""Well you won't, but one of the smart kids might"" he replied cheerfully",2.0,1,3,2,2,2 | |
| en,how do you make a fire with two sticks? you make sure one is a match !,2.0,1,1,3,2,3 | |
| en,What's a magician's favorite Mexican dish? TosTADA!,2.0,1,2,2,4,1 | |
| en,What is similar between the life of an Ethiopian kid and the hype of Call Of Duty: Infinite Warfare? They're practically non existent.,2.0,2,1,5,1,1 | |
| en,Knock Knock Who's there ! Celeste ! Celeste who? Celeste time I lend you money !,2.0,2,1,3,1,3 | |
| en,Why are bodybuilders great pallbearers? They're fantastic dead lifters,2.0,2,2,4,1,1 | |
| en,so i read the dictionary the other day. turns out the zebra did it,2.0,1,2,2,2,3 | |
| en,"i took up guitar lessons recently . it's pretty simple, really . unless the song requires the blue button .",2.0,1,1,3,3,2 | |
| en,Parenting Tip: Wear clothing with pockets so you can flip off your children inconspicuously.,2.0,2,1,2,3,2 | |
| en,"i'm in southern texas threedots threedots and it's so hot here, the trees are fighting over the dogs .",2.0,1,1,4,3,1 | |
| en,I dated a magician once; she put her hand on my leg and I turned into a motel.....,2.0,1,2,1,3,3 | |
| en,"My wife bought four grapefruit spoons. You know, for all those times in your life when there are four people eating grapefruit at once",2.0,2,2,4,1,1 | |
| en,What is a dental hygienist's favorite subject? Flossophy.,2.0,2,2,2,1,3 | |
| en,How do you advertise a motor home? A trailer,2.0,3,2,3,1,1 | |
| en,"You say tomato, I say summertime snowball.",2.0,1,3,2,2,2 | |
| en,""" sir your resume says you can read minds . "" "" yup . and you're thinking ' why would he put that on a resume? ' "" "" oh . my . god . you're hired . """,2.0,1,2,3,1,3 | |
| en,What's the similarity between a dog and a bulldozer? Neither one is a squirrel.,2.0,1,3,4,1,1 | |
| en,How many pushups can Ryan Gosling do? All of them.,2.0,1,2,1,3,3 | |
| en,What's the hardest part of making monster soup? Stirring it.,2.0,3,2,2,2,1 | |
| en,What did the naughty rabbit leave for Easter? Deviled eggs!,2.0,2,1,4,1,2 | |
| en,hr : you're late. do you even know what time it is ? thor : hammer time ? hr : get out,2.0,1,1,2,2,4 | |
| en,I finally found a girl who is like my mother in every way! I brought her home and wouldn't you know it... my dad doesn't like her,2.0,2,4,1,2,1 | |
| en,Whats the difference between Michael Vics house and a Vet clinic. How long the dogs are underwater during a bath.,2.0,1,1,1,2,5 | |
| en,"I lay on the grass looking up at the clouds. 'That woolly one looks like a fist' I say, as Jack punches me again",2.0,1,5,1,2,1 | |
| en,Why did the banana go to the hospital? It wasn't peeling well.,2.0,2,2,1,3,2 | |
| en,Man people in London seem so depressed these days Or at least a little run down,2.0,1,2,4,1,2 | |
| en,"Why couldn't the lifeguard save the drowning hippy? He was too far out, man. ",2.0,4,1,1,3,1 | |
| en,"I was just outsmarted by a revolving door but sure, I'll be your baby's godmother.",2.0,2,2,1,4,1 | |
| en,Have you heard the one about the jump rope? Meh... Just skip it.,2.0,1,3,1,4,1 | |
| en,"What is a Minnesotan's favorite state to vacation in? It's Alaska, don'Juneau.",2.0,4,2,2,1,1 | |
| en,What's Paul McCartney's favourite food? Maccaroni,2.0,3,1,2,2,2 | |
| en,"I'm not paranoid, but I feel like there's someone reading this...",2.0,1,4,1,2,2 | |
| en,i don't have bad handwriting. i have my own font,2.0,1,3,3,2,1 | |
| en,What is the strongest and longest rope in the whole world? It's Europe. So long and also strong that it is binding all the EU countries.,2.0,1,1,4,3,1 | |
| en,"There are actually only two stages of parenthood: having children, and having children who can reach things on countertops.",2.0,2,1,1,4,2 | |
| en,"I'm a sailor There's this new girl conductor at the pier we pulled in yesterday. I wanted to ask her out, but she kept sending mixed signals.",2.0,1,3,2,2,2 | |
| en,What medical specialty will start to experience large fluctuations in income from payers? Eurology,2.0,1,2,4,1,2 | |
| en,Mute budgie for sale Not going cheap!,2.0,3,1,3,2,1 | |
| en,What does Uncle Vernon from Harry Potter not do on Reddit? Post on Sundays.,2.0,1,1,1,3,4 | |
| en,wanna hear my construction joke? i'm still working on it threedots,2.0,1,2,2,3,2 | |
| en,what do you call a can opener that doesn't work? a can't opener .,2.0,2,4,1,1,2 | |
| en,"Predator taking off his mask, but it's me removing the filters from my selfies.",2.0,2,1,1,5,1 | |
| en,"""It's not the size of the boat, it's the motion of the ocean. "" But it takes much longer to get to England on a rowboat",2.0,1,4,1,1,3 | |
| en,What kind of a fish do you always find on a beach? A dead one...,2.0,1,1,2,2,4 | |
| en,My sense of humor is a little crazy But the dragon rises into the potassium nitrate milkshake at sundown. It's a good day to be a helicopter,2.0,2,5,1,1,1 | |
| en,it took more than two hours for RMS Titanic to go down. Let that 'sink' in.,2.0,1,3,1,2,3 | |
| en,"i got really hungry when we visited the alpaca farm, next time alpaca lunch .",2.0,2,2,2,2,2 | |
| en,"i was walking down the street, when someone threw a packet of cod liver oil at my head........ .......but i only suffered super fish oil injuries",2.0,2,1,2,3,2 | |
| en,"Going to school Mother: ""Did you enjoy your first day at school?"" Girl: ""First day? Do you mean I have to go back tomorrow? ",2.0,1,4,1,3,1 | |
| en,"dreamed last night the world was running out of air . we figured out how to make it with carrots and broccoli . al gore, call me .",2.0,1,4,1,1,3 | |
| en,What do you call a nervous javelin thrower? Shakespeare,2.0,4,1,3,1,1 | |
| en,hey girl is there wifi here? cuz i feel a connection,2.0,4,1,1,1,3 | |
| en,what did the police officer say to tom brady during a routine traffic stop? your tires are low .,2.0,3,2,2,1,2 | |
| en,i think i left popcorn in the microwave too long and now it tastes funny. related : popcorn is my cat's name,2.0,1,3,1,4,1 | |
| en,who do blind kids boo at wrestling events? john cena .,2.0,3,1,1,4,1 | |
| en,this is your captain speaking . would someone who knows how to be a pilot please come up? i'm literally just pressing buttons .,2.0,2,4,1,2,1 | |
| en,what do russian women get from their husbands that's long and hard on their wedding night? his last name .,2.0,1,4,2,1,2 | |
| en,Knock Knock Who's there ! Anais ! Anais who? Anais cup of tea !,2.0,5,1,1,2,1 | |
| en,it's not that i accept the terms and conditions. it's just that i would rather not spend the rest of my life reading them,2.0,1,1,4,2,2 | |
| en,"Finally realizing that Hotel California is about Twitter. ""...you can check in anytime you like, but you can never leave...""",2.0,2,3,1,3,1 | |
| en,"i love to give homemade gifts, which one of my kids do you want threedots",2.0,1,2,4,2,1 | |
| en,Did you hear about the guy who illegally downloaded Free Fallin' and Refugee? He was charged with Petty theft.,2.0,2,1,1,2,4 | |
| en,A quadriplegic goes on a blind date. And he gets stood up,2.0,2,3,1,2,2 | |
| en,"if you see someone crying, ask them if it is because of their haircut .",2.0,1,2,4,2,1 | |
| en,what happens when you throw a green stone into the red sea? it gets wet .,2.0,1,2,1,1,5 | |
| en,How do you project confidence? Multiply by the cosine of the angle.,2.0,4,1,1,1,3 | |
| en,"When a newly married couple smile, everyone knows why. But when a fifteen year married couple smile every wonders why",2.0,2,2,2,1,3 | |
| en,"My friend says that I've lost touch with reality but I told the pillow, that was absurd and to lower his voice before he woke the avocado.",2.0,2,1,5,1,1 | |
| en,"Best Fortune cookie ever: ""Person expecting sound advice from stale cookie probably make good dishwasher. Ask manager for application.""",2.0,2,1,1,1,5 | |
| en,The only good part about choking to death on Teddy Grahams is your family can technically say you were killed by bears. Which sounds cool,2.0,1,2,1,4,2 | |
| en,Why is the french AR longer than other rifels? So it's easier to mount the white flag on it.,2.0,2,2,2,1,3 | |
| en,What did the podiatrist do when his dog got sick? He gave his pet a cure.,2.0,1,3,2,1,3 | |
| en,Why don't lamps talk? They're antisocial lights.,2.0,1,2,3,2,2 | |
| en,Knock Knock Who's there ? Cindy! Cindy who ? Cindy next one in please,1.8,1,1,4,1,2 | |
| en,"All dates are 'blind dates. ' The biological structure of fruit plants do not allow eye growth, therefore rendering them incapable of sight",1.8,1,1,2,1,4 | |
| en,What kind of dog doesn't do well in hot weather? A faint Bernard!,1.8,1,2,2,3,1 | |
| en,I asked my adopted son the name of the workshop the DCF found him in. Build a bear,1.8,1,2,1,4,1 | |
| en,Where's the best place to explore? Rome.,1.8,3,1,1,1,3 | |
| en,What currency do they use in outer space? Starbucks,1.8,1,2,2,3,1 | |
| en,q : why did the blonde want to become a veterinarian? a : because she loved children .,1.8,1,3,1,1,3 | |
| en,Why did Captain Kirk take such a long time in the washroom? Because he was fighting the Klingons.,1.8,2,1,4,1,1 | |
| en,"Starting a diet is a lot like starting a lawn mower, you struggle and sweat and end up on the couch eating ice cream with your shirt off.",1.8,1,2,2,1,3 | |
| en,"I answer with an automatic ""Yes"" each time my mom says ""Oh, have I told you...? "" I could miss out on something good but chances are slim.",1.8,1,2,2,1,3 | |
| en,Is high blood pressure contagious? Because I think I'm getting it from my patients.,1.8,1,1,2,4,1 | |
| en,"pokemon go servers yeah, that's it .",1.8,1,1,1,1,5 | |
| en,"Sometimes I log into Facebook from a desktop computer, just to see what it is like to live how our ancestors used to.",1.8,1,2,1,4,1 | |
| en,"My boss decided to give me some more responsibility. From now on, I'm responsible for everything that goes wrong",1.8,2,1,1,4,1 | |
| en,"i'm lactose intolerant, which means i rarely find missing children .",1.8,2,4,1,1,1 | |
| en,"I got a cat the other day. I had to swerve, but I got it",1.8,1,2,3,1,2 | |
| en,My wife was on eBay this afternoon. No bids yet,1.8,1,2,2,3,1 | |
| en,mum : how can you practice your trumpet and listen to the radio at the same time? son : easy . i have two ears !,1.8,3,1,2,1,2 | |
| en,Me: Girls' night in!!! Cat: I'm a cat. Me: You're my best friend. Cat: I'm not even a girl cat. Me: So it's like a date? Cat: Get help.,1.8,1,2,1,1,4 | |
| en,"when i was young i wanted to be smart, like my dad threedots he also wants to be smart !",1.8,2,1,1,4,1 | |
| en,"""It's possible to touch birds! "" I say suddenly. My coworkers stare at me. I wander outside to touch some birds.",1.8,2,3,1,1,2 | |
| en,what does batman use to wash his hair? conditioner gordon .,1.8,2,2,3,1,1 | |
| en,"you know what they say, the secret to a good relationship is never going to bed married .",1.8,1,1,3,3,1 | |
| en,knock knock who's there ! army ant ! army ant who? army ants coming for tea then,1.8,3,1,1,2,2 | |
| en,"I come from a small town. I come from a town where the population never changes. Everytime a kid is born, some guy leaves town. Old Rodney Dangerfield...",1.8,1,5,1,1,1 | |
| en,""" i can't believe it's not butter! "" could be a disappointed statement as well . i'd like the context before i buy .",1.8,1,1,4,1,2 | |
| en,"I like my woman like I like my shoelaces. Curvy, loose, and easy to finger",1.8,1,1,1,5,1 | |
| en,"difference between good girls and bad girls good girls open few buttons in hot atmosphere, but bad girls open all buttons to make the atmosphere hot .",1.8,3,1,2,1,2 | |
| en,Why don't soldiers wear yellow and pink? They'd get too much flak for it.,1.8,2,2,1,1,3 | |
| en,"Wife said she wasn't going to breadtfeed until after dar.. Sorry baby, today is the start of Mamadan. Edit: a letter",1.8,2,4,1,1,1 | |
| en,"I'm very generous when it comes to giving to charity. I always say, ""No, thank you. I'm not interested. But thank you for considering me, good day.""",1.8,1,1,4,2,1 | |
| en,"whenever you're feeling really bad about yourself just remember, there's people that pay money to exercise .",1.8,1,2,1,4,1 | |
| en,Admit it. You get a small rush of happiness when your crush likes your Facebook status,1.8,1,2,4,1,1 | |
| en,I guess you can say Grant Thompson Had bad rng...,1.8,1,2,2,1,3 | |
| en,"there's a new machine at my gym. i used it , but after an hour i started feeling sick threedots it's got snickers , cheetos , peanuts threedots everything !",1.8,2,1,2,3,1 | |
| en,My mom called and gave me the weekly weather report. I can't wait to do this to my kids,1.8,2,1,1,3,2 | |
| en,driving on highway wife : you just missed a right. me : thanks babe you just mrs right,1.8,1,2,1,1,4 | |
| en,"i started dating an optometrist, but she left me threedots she just said she couldn't see me anymore .",1.8,2,3,2,1,1 | |
| en,"Tip: Instead of doing that thing where you obviously crop your ex out of the photo, you could actually just take a new picture.",1.8,1,2,2,1,3 | |
| en,""" it's our third date and you still wear that shirt? "" honey , this all they have in prison .",1.8,2,1,1,2,3 | |
| en,I tried to download an ATV. But it was a bit Buggy,1.8,1,3,2,2,1 | |
| en,Fizzy Pop The socially acceptable way to gas juice.,1.8,1,3,3,1,1 | |
| en,what did the blue crab call his ex girlfriend? old bay,1.8,1,4,1,2,1 | |
| en,Recently I was playing Zelda on the SNES It really was a link to the past.,1.8,1,2,1,1,4 | |
| en,Knock Knock Who's there ! Crispin ! Crispin who? Crispin crunchy is how I like my apples !,1.8,1,3,3,1,1 | |
| en,"I used to be a race car driver, and won a lot of races by spinning out the opponents. I guess you could say I have a checkered past.",1.8,1,2,4,1,1 | |
| en,"My new girlfriend seems to be into roleplay Last night, she couldn't stop shouting ""who are you"" and ""Where's the free candy""",1.8,2,1,1,4,1 | |
| en,"lf you can only be good at one thing, be good at cheating. because if you're good at cheating, you're good at everything",1.8,1,2,3,2,1 | |
| en,"""The katana the greatest sword of all time folded over a thousand times to be able to cut through anything."" Didnt cut through those two bombs though",1.8,1,1,1,3,3 | |
| en,"No James, that isn't a giant peach... ...that is Nicki Minaj walking away from us.",1.8,5,1,1,1,1 | |
| en,It's kinda funny being told what to do By a people who routinely do not do what they are told to do.,1.8,1,4,1,1,2 | |
| en,"i read an actual newspaper today! for those of you who don't understand , a newspaper is like the internet but made of paper .",1.8,1,1,4,2,1 | |
| en,"I think there's nothing cooler than being a lone wolf. except at wolf picnics, when you don't have a partner for the wolf wheelbarrow races",1.8,3,1,2,2,1 | |
| en,"You're good, Adobe Acrobat. You're fine just the way you are. No need to continue updating every three days.",1.8,1,2,3,2,1 | |
| en,"I had this great joke about Thor. but thinking about it now, it's actually really low key",1.8,1,1,4,2,1 | |
| en,What city loves to eat sandwiches? Koldcutta,1.8,1,2,2,1,3 | |
| en,What movie did Leonardo DiCaprio's dog recently star in? The Woof of Wall Street.,1.8,1,3,1,1,3 | |
| en,What makes a joke bad? redundancy.,1.8,2,2,2,1,2 | |
| en,q : what's red and looks like a bucket? a : a red bucket .,1.8,2,1,1,4,1 | |
| en,i can tell a train has been through here recently threedots you know how i can tell? cause there is its tracks .,1.8,1,1,1,3,3 | |
| en,"""Do you need a ride? "" Me, to every jogger I pass in my car",1.8,2,3,2,1,1 | |
| en,Some people say that I never got over my obsession with Phil Collins. But take a look at me now.,1.8,2,3,1,2,1 | |
| en,what do you call a rabbit who tells jokes? a funny bunny,1.8,1,2,3,1,2 | |
| en,How do you stop a metal from rusting? Use some antioxidants,1.8,3,3,1,1,1 | |
| en,"you know how dogs think , when you leave , that you're never coming back? that's how i feel when i leave the house for work every morning .",1.8,1,4,1,1,2 | |
| en,What's the difference between woman's rights and suicides? There are too many.,1.8,1,1,5,1,1 | |
| en,"a kid came to my door earlier dressed like a mime, so i pretended to put candy in his basket .",1.8,3,2,2,1,1 | |
| en,I left my girlfriend because she used to demand for unrealistic things... Last time she asked for rights.,1.8,3,1,3,1,1 | |
| en,what is the best thing to take when you're run over? the number of the car that hit you .,1.8,2,2,2,1,2 | |
| en,"Cause of death is still a mystery. Authorities haven't ruled out foul play, after finding prince at the scene",1.8,1,2,1,3,2 | |
| en,just finished leg day with my new trainer and now i need to replace the stairs in my house with an elevator. or shower in the kitchen sink ?,1.8,1,3,1,3,1 | |
| en,Why was the Windows PC broke? It ran out of cache.,1.8,1,2,3,1,2 | |
| en,i get carried away sometimes. because i refuse to leave,1.8,4,1,1,1,2 | |
| en,What do you do if your elephant has zits? Take him to a pachydermatologist.,1.8,1,1,3,1,3 | |
| en,What Beer does Mr. Potato Head drink? Spud Lite,1.8,2,1,1,2,3 | |
| en,I knew she'd been working at the foundry. because I smelter,1.8,1,3,2,1,2 | |
| en,"I heard something about a Finding Dory Trailer being released today, but I forgot...",1.8,1,3,1,2,2 | |
| en,i fell on my arm and had to have an operation on my funny bone. i was in stitches for two weeks,1.8,1,1,1,3,3 | |
| en,what should you do if you are on a picnic with king kong? give him the biggest bananas .,1.8,3,1,2,1,2 | |
| en,doctor doctor my sister thinks she is a lift! well tell her to come in i can't she doesn't stop at this floor,1.8,2,1,2,2,2 | |
| en,"A mountain was next to another mountain.. An earthquake happens and one of the mountains say.. ""It wasn't my fault! "" credit to my awesome science teacher",1.8,1,2,4,1,1 | |
| en,"FB is the Flanders of social media, Twitter is Moe.",1.8,2,2,2,2,1 | |
| en,I've learned so much from my mistakes. I'm thinking of making some more,1.8,1,4,1,2,1 | |
| en,"Facebook tells me those vans are dangerous, but Twitter says they have candy. So conflicted",1.8,1,2,3,2,1 | |
| en,What do you call a tv show about female puberty? A Breasted Development,1.8,4,1,1,2,1 | |
| en,Why did the horse stir his cereal with his hoof? Because he wanted to feel his oats!,1.8,4,1,1,1,2 | |
| en,Legends don't die. I am a living example,1.8,1,4,2,1,1 | |
| en,A child walked into my bar today Good. My blindfold is working perfectly.,1.8,1,1,3,1,3 | |
| en,why did the scuba diver drop out of graduate school? because he was always below a c,1.8,2,1,1,3,2 | |
| en,"Neil Degrasse Tyson and Mike Tyson have something common. I don't understand what either one is saying, but I know I'll end up seeing stars",1.8,1,1,1,4,2 | |
| en,think you're smart? try explaining daylight savings time to a kid .,1.8,1,3,2,2,1 | |
| en,"I've never run a marathon, but once I walked real fast across a parking lot because Krispy Kreme was about to close.",1.8,1,2,2,2,2 | |
| en,"a jealous girlfriend is a faithful girlfriend. if she doesn't get jealous when someone has your attention , it's because someone has hers",1.8,1,1,1,2,4 | |
| en,Some people live life in the fast lane. You're in oncoming traffic,1.8,1,3,2,1,2 | |
| en,i planted a whole garden full of bird seed this year and not one bird came up. i quit,1.8,2,3,1,1,2 | |
| en,I'm having real problems with a sleep paralysis condition lately. In fact ..Its turning out to be a nightmare.,1.8,3,1,3,1,1 | |
| en,At the Special Olympics they don't use starter pistols. They use Spud Guns,1.8,1,3,2,2,1 | |
| en,"I just thought of this masterpiece... No. No, I didn't because nobody here is ever original.",1.6,2,1,2,2,1 | |
| en,I'm trying to bring a taco into this club. let's see if the bouncer finds it when he frisks me,1.6,1,2,1,3,1 | |
| en,"hey guys , wanna hear a joke? reddit servers .",1.6,1,2,1,2,2 | |
| en,Yo mama's so old. Her age has to be expressed in scientific notation,1.6,3,2,1,1,1 | |
| en,Anthony Bourdain went to parts unknown. And he had no reservations on doing so.,1.6,2,1,1,2,2 | |
| en,"Michael Bay has just recently announced the title of his next gritty reboot of a kids TV show: Ed, Edd, and Edgy",1.6,3,1,1,2,1 | |
| en,What happened when the fat woman backed into the airplane propeller? Disaster.,1.6,1,1,1,2,3 | |
| en,"Joke, Joke, Joke. Which one is the funniest? The first one. The others are just reposts.",1.6,1,1,4,1,1 | |
| en,Who's the artist you find in the supermarket? Salvador Deli,1.6,3,1,2,1,1 | |
| en,I didn't really enjoy my first kiss Because I forgot to take the duct tape off ,1.6,1,1,1,4,1 | |
| en,dating must've been so easy for cavemen . this my cave . this my fire . you like rock? i have many .,1.6,2,2,1,2,1 | |
| en,What does Drew Carey have in his driveway? Cleveland Rocks!,1.6,1,2,1,3,1 | |
| en,her : i just read this really funny thing on fb. me : no you didn't,1.6,4,1,1,1,1 | |
| en,"I giveth, and I taketh away. Why? Because I recycleth.",1.6,2,1,3,1,1 | |
| en,Ran out of Manila envelops. Off to the Philippines,1.6,2,1,2,1,2 | |
| en,how is evolution and a union construction job similar? they take so long that some people don't believe they don't work .,1.6,1,2,2,1,2 | |
| en,knock knock who's there ! cereal ! cereal who? cereal pleasure to meet you !,1.6,2,1,2,2,1 | |
| en,"I'm just waiting for a bold, courageous restaurant that IS responsible for lost or stolen items.",1.6,1,1,2,1,3 | |
| en,"Engineers: ""okay, so we agree the space between the seat and the console will allow people to see what they dropped but never retrieve it""",1.6,2,2,1,2,1 | |
| en,For sale: The Complete Enlopdiea Brittania Reason: No longer needed. Wife knows everything,1.6,1,1,1,4,1 | |
| en,Me and my girlfriend went to bush gardens.. but they said she was too young for the rides,1.6,3,1,1,1,2 | |
| en,"what did the cookie farmer say? "" i've been raisin ' cookies . """,1.6,1,2,2,2,1 | |
| en,i just bought an answering machine and it doesn't work. or maybe i'm just asking it the wrong questions,1.6,1,1,2,1,3 | |
| en,wanna read a joke about procrastination? i'll type it later .,1.6,1,1,2,1,3 | |
| en,Blizzard You know your girl has strong head game when she can eat a blizzard through a straw,1.6,1,1,4,1,1 | |
| en,You know you have a problem when you go through this sub and have seen all these jokes before Lmao I really need help,1.6,2,1,3,1,1 | |
| en,What do all the Smiths in the telephone book have in common? They all have telephones...,1.6,2,1,1,1,3 | |
| en,My nearby care home just burnt down with everyone in it. Hope the grocer's is in stock for repopulation.,1.6,1,1,1,1,4 | |
| en,What did the beef broth say to the chicken broth? What flavor au jus,1.6,1,2,2,1,2 | |
| en,"How many Hipster's does it take to screw in a light bulb? Oh, just some number you've probably never heard of.",1.6,1,3,1,1,2 | |
| en,what's the difference between an apple? a bike because a vest has no sleeves .,1.6,1,1,3,1,2 | |
| en,"what's faster than light? darkness , my old friend .",1.6,1,1,1,3,2 | |
| en,What is the big hairy thing between Napoleon's legs? His horse Marengo,1.6,1,2,3,1,1 | |
| en,This sub was better when nobody could comment title,1.6,2,2,1,1,2 | |
| en,what's the mating call of a sorority girl? o my god ! i am so drunk .,1.6,3,1,2,1,1 | |
| en,"You know, I always really liked Meatloaf I've never had any beef with him",1.6,1,2,1,1,3 | |
| en,whatever happened to robot jones? he got cancelled .,1.6,1,1,1,4,1 | |
| en,"It's my daughter's birthday today... ...so I wrapped up some batteries, with a note saying, ""Toys not included!""",1.6,1,2,3,1,1 | |
| en,Is Santa Clause real? Because the zero's on my bank statement are.,1.6,1,1,2,1,3 | |
| en,"While single, focus on becoming a better person instead of focusing on finding someone better than your ex. A better you will attract a better next",1.6,1,3,1,1,2 | |
| en,Why did the girl loaf of stale bread slap the boy loaf of stale bread? Because he tried to get fresh.,1.6,1,2,3,1,1 | |
| en,What's The Difference Between Larry Hogan And An Iraqi Child? Larry Hogan gets back from the hospital.,1.6,1,1,1,4,1 | |
| en,"my dad called to ask if sending an email to the usa costs more. i told him a lot more , better not risk it",1.6,1,2,1,3,1 | |
| en,You've probably heard this joke before. It's hilearious,1.6,1,2,1,2,2 | |
| en,why did the hipster cross the road? to get to a place you've probably never heard of .,1.6,2,2,1,1,2 | |
| en,what's long and hard and makes women cry at night? crib death .,1.6,1,2,1,2,2 | |
| en,I did a marathon the other day. You might ask how I went I ran,1.6,1,1,3,2,1 | |
| en,I think I'm psychic. Now now I know what you're thinking,1.6,2,2,2,1,1 | |
| en,"there are only two things that can cut diamonds: other diamonds , and chuck norris .",1.6,1,1,2,1,3 | |
| en,I'm not schizophrenic. And neither am I.,1.6,1,1,1,3,2 | |
| en,"In the jungle, the mighty jungle. Cecil sleeps forever",1.6,3,1,2,1,1 | |
| en,what do you call the rabbit up the elephant's sweater? terrified !,1.6,2,3,1,1,1 | |
| en,what time is it when yo mama sits on a chair? time to buy a new chair .,1.6,3,1,2,1,1 | |
| en,Whats the difference between your uncle and a counselor? Don't have to pay the uncle.,1.6,1,2,2,1,2 | |
| en,How did the man drown in a bowl of muesli? A strong currant pulled him in.,1.6,1,1,2,3,1 | |
| en,I had a joke. But I lost my plane of thought,1.6,2,1,1,1,3 | |
| en,why did fred put band aids in the refrigerator? he wanted cold cuts .,1.6,1,3,1,1,2 | |
| en,"It'll be a cold day in hell. Cloudy in purgatory, with a slight chance of rain. And clear skies up in heaven. Now over to Jim with sports.",1.6,3,1,2,1,1 | |
| en,"Hi, my name is Ivanna. Hi, My Name Is Ivanna Humpalot",1.6,3,2,1,1,1 | |
| en,"Replaced a window the other day... .. I really had no idea what I was doing, so it turned out to be a royal pane in the sash.",1.6,1,1,2,2,2 | |
| en,I found a ghost passed out on my stairs last night. He must have been really into the boos! Happy October,1.4,2,2,1,1,1 | |
| en,teacher : where is your homework? pupil : i was mugged on the way to school and the mugger took everything i had,1.4,1,3,1,1,1 | |
| en,What is green and goes a hundred miles per hour? A fuel injected pickle.,1.4,1,2,1,2,1 | |
| en,"i put on my favorite disco album yesterday . my wife tried telling me disco was dead . i said "" no honey, it's not . you're thinking of your mother .",1.4,1,1,1,3,1 | |
| en,Yearly subreddit survey Post a comment if you think the mods are doing a good job ,1.4,1,1,3,1,1 | |
| en,how do you get reddit to improve their search function? have cnn report on how bad it is,1.4,1,2,1,1,2 | |
| en,What did Leonardo DiCaprio say when he planted a seed? Inception,1.4,1,1,2,2,1 | |
| en,What do you call an experiment? Seeing if you can unlock your own post.,1.4,1,2,2,1,1 | |
| en,How does a burger acquire good taste? With a little seasoning!,1.4,1,1,2,1,2 | |
| en,Picture someone stepping down off a curb that they didn't realize was there. Now you can say you've seen me dance,1.4,1,3,1,1,1 | |
| en,"A teacher asks her students, ""what do you call a person who makes bad decisions?"" All of the students then replied, in unison, ""Billy Holliday.""",1.4,1,2,1,1,2 | |
| en,I tried clicking on the 'NEW' tab. It just said 'Nothing to see here',1.4,1,2,1,1,2 | |
| en,"My fourth grade teacher told me I would use cursive at least once a week, but she was wrong. I use it every day when food is delivered to my house",1.4,1,1,1,3,1 | |
| en,what's the difference between a woman and bacon threedots? you can't beat bacon threedots !,1.4,1,1,1,3,1 | |
| en,is is best to do your homework on an empty stomach or a full stomach? it's best to do it on paper .,1.4,1,1,1,2,2 | |
| en,"if you still talk about it, you still care about it .",1.4,1,1,1,3,1 | |
| en,"a mattress will double in weight after six years, just like everything else i sleep with !",1.4,1,3,1,1,1 | |
| en,how did the hillbilly find his sister in the woods? pretty hot .,1.4,1,1,1,1,3 | |
| en,"How does Sylvester Stallone start his brunch? First, Bloody Mary",1.4,1,2,1,1,2 | |
| en,"Can't afford Sea World, so I took my kid to a fish market. Me: 'Shhh, they're asleep' 'Mom, they're breaded' Me: 'That's their blankie'",1.4,2,1,1,1,2 | |
| en,what do planets read? comet books .,1.4,1,1,3,1,1 | |
| en,how can you make seven even? take away the letter s .,1.4,1,3,1,1,1 | |
| en,"A farmer in Nebraska just had his fence destroyed by a tornado, and he's asking for our help I'm doing my part!",1.4,1,1,2,1,2 | |
| en,wow she actually noticed me! time to pick a different tree .,1.4,1,3,1,1,1 | |
| en,How did Paul McCartney get Linda pregnant? C Moon,1.4,1,2,1,1,2 | |
| en,what's with the attitude? i don't know what's gotten into you but i know what hasn't .,1.4,1,1,2,1,2 | |
| en,"My newest million dollar idea involves crowdsourcing. So, who has a million dollar idea for me?",1.4,2,1,1,1,2 | |
| en,What did Ronda Rousey's face look like after her fight with Holly Holm? It was all broused up!,1.4,1,1,1,1,3 | |
| en,"i was asked to help design the first monopoly board threedots i thought, i'll give it a go .",1.4,2,1,1,1,2 | |
| en,Knock Knock Who's there ! Brigham ! Brigham who? Drigham back my sunshine back to me... !,1.4,1,3,1,1,1 | |
| en,FREE WORLD There are currently no mods nor any automod rules. Let's see how it goes.,1.4,3,1,1,1,1 | |
| en,What breed of dog will unlock your front door? Yorkie,1.4,2,1,2,1,1 | |
| en,q . what do you call a blonde in a leather jacket? a . a rebel without a clue !,1.4,1,2,2,1,1 | |
| en,You know how I know Al Gore invented the Internet? The whole thing runs on algorithms,1.4,1,2,1,2,1 | |
| en,did you hear about the dentist who planted a garden? threedots a month later he was picking his teeth,1.4,1,1,2,1,2 | |
| en,"ok fine , i'll weigh in: every museum needs to lose that one room that's just old bowls .",1.4,1,1,1,2,2 | |
| en,what do you call sandpaper in iraq? a map .,1.4,1,1,1,3,1 | |
| en,Why did Hawking have a droopy head? Vegetables wilt when you put them out for too long,1.4,1,1,1,1,3 | |
| en,how can you go without sleep for seven days and not be tired? sleep at night,1.4,1,2,2,1,1 | |
| en,What does Sonic the Hedgehog wear when he goes to the beach? A speedo,1.4,1,1,3,1,1 | |
| en,What do you call the mean and dusty winds of the desert? Darude Sandstorm,1.4,1,2,1,1,2 | |
| en,i dated a woman once. most confusing twenty minutes of my life,1.4,1,1,2,1,2 | |
| en,why couldn't the computer play golf? threedots threedots because it had the wrong driver,1.4,1,1,1,3,1 | |
| en,what do you call an accountant who is seen talking to someone? popular,1.4,1,2,1,1,2 | |
| en,"the less you love a woman, the faster your hand gets tired .",1.4,3,1,1,1,1 | |
| en,"Old enough to have a lemonade sale, Old enough to take home and rail.",1.4,3,1,1,1,1 | |
| en,What do you get when you subtract the date and time that Tony Stark built an AI from the current date and time? The Age Of Ultron.,1.4,1,2,1,2,1 | |
| en,"Have you heard about Bruce Willis' new movie in which he has to infiltrate a Nunnery? ""Bad Habits Die Hard.""",1.4,1,1,1,1,3 | |
| en,Knock Knock Who's there ! Claude ! Claude who? Claudework Orange !,1.4,1,2,2,1,1 | |
| en,"if "" loving you "" is wrong, then i don't want to be right !",1.4,2,1,1,1,2 | |
| en,"noses are red , violets are blue. it ain't love darling , you got flu",1.4,1,1,1,1,3 | |
| en,What's the difference between Rick Grimes and Carl Grimes? Rick Grimes has two I's....,1.4,1,3,1,1,1 | |
| en,What does a strawberry and a blueberry have in common? They both can't ride a bicycle!,1.4,3,1,1,1,1 | |
| en,"are you sitting down? i don't have anything to tell you , i'm just curious .",1.2,1,2,1,1,1 | |
| en,"The guy I cheat off moved seats before today's spelling test, like he's teaching me some kind of lessen.",1.2,1,1,1,1,2 | |
| en,how do you say nachos in english? mine !,1.2,2,1,1,1,1 | |
| en,MEMO TO GIRLS: It is not cold in here. You are a girl,1.2,1,2,1,1,1 | |
| en,"What goes stomp, stomp, stomp, squish? An elephant with a wet boot",1.2,1,1,1,2,1 | |
| en,"i just listened to the album ""The Palpable Leprosy of Pollution"", It really described my life in a nutshell.",1.2,1,2,1,1,1 | |
| en,"""Ow that dog just nipped at me"" PEE ON IT! ""No man NO STOP THAT DOESN'T WORK FOR EVERYTHING"" I'M HERE FOR YA BUDDY",1.2,1,1,1,1,2 | |
| en,"if you never jumped from couch to couch as kid to avoid the lava, then you missed out on childhood .",1.2,1,1,1,2,1 | |
| en,i don't downvote. it's bad karma,1.2,1,2,1,1,1 | |
| en,"if you really loved your kids , you would teach them to say their alphabet forwards and backwards. they'll thank you later",1.2,1,1,1,1,2 | |
| en,This joke isn't creative or funny. Just like the mods,1.2,1,1,1,1,2 | |
| en,"chestor bennington , robin williams who wore ""it"" better?",1.2,1,2,1,1,1 | |
| en,"so, tim cook came out of the cloud ?",1.2,1,1,2,1,1 | |
| en,Couldn't get to the gym and gained a bit of belly fat this semester. I just had too much on my plate,1.2,2,1,1,1,1 | |
| en,"there is too much freedom in this country, we need more expensive smart .",1.2,2,1,1,1,1 | |
| en,friends are forever. until they get in a relationship,1.2,1,1,1,1,2 | |
| en,there are hundreds of ways to make a woman happy and only one to make a man happy: leave him alone .,1.2,1,1,2,1,1 | |
| en,"Roses are red. Roses are red, downvotes are blue, speaking of downvotes, here's one for you",1.2,1,1,1,2,1 | |
| en,Gen Z What else were U expecting?,1.2,1,1,1,2,1 | |
| en,What did Kermit the Frog say when Jim Henson died? ...nothing.,1.2,1,1,1,2,1 | |
| en,Cheerios got rid of the nut Now you got to add your own,1.2,1,1,2,1,1 | |
| en,How do you know Little Miss Muffet was a bodybuilder? She was always eating her curds and whey.,1.2,1,1,2,1,1 | |
| en,Steak puns. a rare medium well done,1.2,1,1,1,1,2 | |
| en,Why is a hamburger better than a shooting star? It's meteor.,1.2,1,1,2,1,1 | |
| en,"Jokes . . . . I need some jokes to crack my ultra resistant friends, Please Help! P.S I don't care whether they are rude or not.",1.2,2,1,1,1,1 | |
| en,Did you hear the one about Phillip Hughes? He was the first Australian to die of a bowler.,1.2,1,1,1,2,1 | |
| en,I'm really not a fan of Mayweather but. It's actually perfect outside so I cant complain,1.2,2,1,1,1,1 | |
| en,it was the middle ages. there's no way rapunzel didn't have lice,1.2,1,1,1,1,2 | |
| en,"There is a new Apple product in the Rogue One teaser trailer We don't know what it is yet, but at least now we know its name. ""iRebel""",1.2,1,1,1,2,1 | |
| en,"the seven wonders of the ancient world were: chuck norris ' left and right hands , his left and right feet , his belly button , his liver , and his beard .",1.2,1,1,2,1,1 | |
| en,"I'm trying to remember what that soup is called, the kind with chicken and rice.... Oh yeah! Chinken Noodle",1.2,2,1,1,1,1 | |
| en,Q: What is the best recording of the Walton viola concerto? A: Music Minus One.,1.2,2,1,1,1,1 | |
| en,"Don't worry, Pope Benedict XVI, I get it. Mondays make me want to quit my job too",1.2,1,1,1,2,1 | |
| en,"I just heard Avici died. Oh, man... ",1.2,1,1,1,2,1 | |
| en,"You're the only one who understands me, last remaining sleeve of Oreo cookies.",1.2,2,1,1,1,1 | |
| en,The waiting list for the WiiU. Just got shorter in Conneticut,1.2,1,1,2,1,1 | |
| en,is there anything better than being fit and healthy? yes . pizza and beer .,1.2,1,1,2,1,1 | |
| en,An ideal homework excuse Teacher: Where is your homework? Pupil: I didn't do it because I didn't want to add to your already heavy workload.,1.2,2,1,1,1,1 | |
| en,"climb mountains not so the world can see you, but so you can see the world .",1.2,1,1,2,1,1 | |
| en,"Black Honestly, I just wanted to see how the automod worked. Have a good day.",1.2,2,1,1,1,1 | |
| en,Knock Knock Who's there ! Balloon ! Balloon who? Balloon velvet !,1.2,1,1,1,2,1 | |
| en,"the smarter the person, the less they tell you about it .",1.0,1,1,1,1,1 | |
| en,"knowing how to pick locks has really opened a lot of doors for me. now if i were a diamond ring , where would i hide threedots",1.0,1,1,1,1,1 | |
| en,"My baby made the bed all by himself.... Unfortunately, he used a big brown sheet. ",1.0,1,1,1,1,1 | |
| en,"Son: Are you going anywhere Dad? Dad: No, I'm going to Romania.",1.0,1,1,1,1,1 | |
| en,q : what's the difference between a duck? a : one of its legs is both the same .,1.0,1,1,1,1,1 | |
| en,"Funniest YouTube channel? Mark Fitzgibben, Brandon Berg or BroKaine ? XDDD",1.0,1,1,1,1,1 | |
| en,Can we remove automod? The only thing it does is remove posts with keywords. ,1.0,1,1,1,1,1 | |
| en,What do you call an Autobot who works in an overpriced makeup store at the mall? Ulta Magnus!,1.0,1,1,1,1,1 | |
| en,any jokes i can tell my teachers? i would love some jokes to tell to my teachers : d,1.0,1,1,1,1,1 | |
| en,"Guys socialize by making fun of each other, but they don't mean it. Girls socialize by giving compliments to each other but they don't meant it either",1.0,1,1,1,1,1 | |
| en,"we can't help everyone, but everyone can help someone .",1.0,1,1,1,1,1 | |
| en,"About the comments Why are there so many removed comments, I'm new here and is there a joke I'm missing?",1.0,1,1,1,1,1 | |
| en,"Vulnerability is the last thing I want you to see in me, and the first thing I look for in you.",1.0,1,1,1,1,1 | |
| en,Hmm yeah I tend to agree Thanks for the help!,1.0,1,1,1,1,1 | |
| en,I tidied my room and made my bed today! Mommy promised me McDonalds! YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I love mcdonalds,1.0,1,1,1,1,1 | |
| en,the lizard child: funny youtube videos,1.0,1,1,1,1,1 | |
| en,I hope so Is this sub good now?,1.0,1,1,1,1,1 | |
| en,a redditor walked into a we took too long to load this page for you. try again and hopefully we'll be fast enough this time,1.0,1,1,1,1,1 | |
| en,I bought a girl at an auction She had no teeth,1.0,1,1,1,1,1 | |
| en,glad everyone is done talking about the fight. now how about that may weather ?,1.0,1,1,1,1,1 | |