Your post seems incredibly strange to me.  You were compensated as a victim and seem to have dedicated much of your life to the cause of sexual abuse. You say your lawyers recommended you to go to SNAP. And you are saying "SNAP's the church itself"! So were your lawyers also "the church itself"?   And Fr. Tom Doyle, whom I consider someone who also did some good things but ultimately went a bit off the edge. I may be off here, but it seems like much of your life is spent up in weaved tales and ideas of intrigue,  "double agents", skullduggery,  by any and all people who are not sexual abuse victims.

You got compensated for something that happened over 50 years ago, and you consider yourself unlucky and misused for events following your case. Did you ever consider just leaving the whole paraphernalia of abuse, SNAP, lawyers, etc  behind you after you got the settlement and pursuing other interests. Interest in something that does not seems to make people nuts.