Thanks Ben, but I don't think they'd have me. Punishments I'd like would be Public floggings, using the Public Stocks and selling rotten tomato's 3 for a dollar, using Florescent Pink jumpsuits for inmates as they walk miles of highway cleaning up trash... but using these methods on CRIMINALS tend to 'hurt their feelings' and 'damage their self-esteem', and We Can't Have That! 

Further mention of more serious Alternative Punishments is not allowed on ADN, so I'll let you imagine your own. Suffice to say that the ACLU has swung too far to the Left for my tastes on many crime issues. Letting the 'punishment fir the crime' is a good idea in my book. You get busted for smoking a joint on a downtown sidewalk? You are sentenced to 1 hour picking up cigarette butts. Case closed, stupid. Don't do it again where you can be seen. No jail time. You murder someone? Deliberately? Say hello to 'Ol Sparky.