You have clearly never done a ride along. None of the cops I have ever met have been as you described. If you are polite and calm they are polite and calm they are the same. IF you escalate the situation and not listen to their commands then you get the full treatment. It's that simple, THEY are in authority not you. There is a time and place to file a grievance and on the side of the road at a traffic stop is NOT the time or the place to debate