I'm unemployed. Have been for many months. I've looked, applied, and been interviewed. No offers. One more piece of insincere advice and I'll pop. I'm not even a statistic. Can I apply for that? Does it pay? See me on the street corner? No, not yet. Perhaps, I'll start dancing near a busy intersection. I knew a guy who did that. Didn't pay much. Was he any good? If I make it to the curb, I'll have a market-ready sign to match my delusions and festering derisions. The sign should be big, bold, and beautiful. What should it say?