Sorry Dave, it's not this fellows decision to make. It is up to either the son or father to reach out, without coercion. Sometimes continued contact costs too much emotionally, especially for the person doing the work. It's ok to know an extended family member is out there and ok, or even not ok, and know that in order to protect yourself and your own family you aren't interested in contact. There's only so much emotional currency to go around. Long and short, the uncle/brother isn't the one paying the cost, even if he does buy the tickets.