Thanks Yarr.
I know I projected my own situation onto my response to this, but some people don't realize that the problems in family dynamics can go waaaay further than 'gosh we used to bug each other and be a bit unreasonable (the way it sounds with David Eddie's father).

The father/brother in this letter sound domineering and crushing. The son has had that all his life. Perhaps he now himself has children and doesn't want happy occasions spoiled by having a toxic person around the place. I know that was my own final straw - realizing that my own children's memories were being harmed by having this 'emotional vampire' (good phrase) sucking the happiness out of family occasions. So glad I looked forward as I'm so much happier in life.