I knew you were being sarcastic.   You just have not figured out the debating technique I have been using when I say that you agree with me.  Also, although I have not indicated it, most of the time that I use it, I am laughing.   As far as what he might have eaten, your guess is as good as any.   For about 2000 years nobody has successfully answered the empty tomb question.  If it was the Romans that moved the body, why would they do it?  It just created more problems for them.  The Jewish leaders had even less reason to do it.  The disciples would had to have gotten through the guards and would not have become the leaders they became.  How do you account for the empty tomb?