OK, the jig is up. Whoever kidnapped Jenkins, please release him. (Also, please let us admit to the truth: that Paul McCartney died in 1967, and was memorialized on "Sgt. Peppers". But I digress.)

On a more serious note, Mr. Jenkins, you opened the door to discussing the idea of "banishment" from villages. I don't understand the legal basis for this, nor why, if it is legal, Anchorage and other cities could not resort to the same practice. So how about a column exploring this?