Since I trust your wisdom, why is there such an aversion to accepting that there are plus and minuses and respond accordingly? Why can't we see the beauty of different decisions and discernment without declaring one right or one wrong, one "permitted" and one not--or one virtuous and one tainted? The demand for black and white has almost created a cult of clarity, with nuance, difference, diversity, discernment, the "mess," and ambiguity declared evil, when they often can be beautiful. Rules--not roles--have primacy in such a paradigm. In this case, the canonical efficiency of a priest, not his pastoral effectiveness, is all that counts. As Peter Drucker told us, efficiency is about doing things right; effectiveness is about doing the right things.