Big On Honor: You know what else is honorable?  Sticking by your family.  You're not empty inside because you didn't join the military--you're trying to use enlistment to fill a void that was already there.  But you have another life set up now and you need to see how you can "be somebody" by means other than fantasizing about a ship that has sailed.  By all means, look into joining the reserves.  Be a Big Brother.  Volunteer.  There is a huge need for conscientious, committed, people in many parts of life--the military only one of many roads to "honor".