Thank you Russ for your clarification.  There is a big difference between "acting" respectful and being respectful.  Rules of PC engagement to which people defensively adhere (while harboring a boatload of fear and prejudice) vs. an internal sense of civility and engaging curiosity toward all beings.  Oddly, the word respect isn't really about either as its origins are Latin "to look back at."  This would imply that in our civility we would be wanting to "look back at" an exchange openly and non-defensively and really understand and empathize with their feelings and a very important part........they would do the same.  Mutual respect, a novel idea in today's society.  Some of the letters above hold all these elements, some don't.  Oh well.