Yes, she's missing the point. The 8 year old is unlikely to see it, but the parents will. Perhaps she should be more concerned about being the nasty stepmother than an insensitive grandma. Although I strongly suspect that it will be painfully clear to everyone quite soon who she considers her "real" grandchild.  I feel sorry for that 8 year old, especially if she's ever visiting when the "real" one is around.