Yep that's what I said, it's the real world outside of the hood, the barrio or maybe even the ghetto. Life ain't about being smart or making a living so I guess its about just fitting in. I remember being in the South and the local rednecks would have a saying "Don't care how close you get just don't get to big".  
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As for Nantucket I go there most summers, its run by the outsiders, the locals depend on them for jobs, smile a lot and most can't afford a decent place to live.  Sound familiar?  As for Sicily and Jamaica not places I'd visit, with the poverty and gangs. Do you really want Hawaii to become like Sicily?  Trade the King for the Godfather maybe?
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Funny thing though if you read local history all that commonality, cohesion and community didn't avoid conflict. Maybe you should learn more about Hawaiian history, visit Nuʻuanu Pali the site of the Battle of Nuʻuanu.  
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As for assimilate and accept, I'll pass.  Don't think that I could bring myself to hate "outsiders".