hi aaron
 you sound like nothing has really changed for you. have you started any programs or counseling   that would help you help yourself. do you have family around here?  i know sometime it's good other times it's painful.
 i don't know why there is pain, emotional pain.  lot of places want to help, but how to help someone that feels so low is a challenge. only a very few will click  with you.  be honest, be yourself, be good to yourself.