Realistically, the suffering rich probably can't be helped by charitable contribution, no matter how well-intended. They need a purpose in life, something to give it meaning beyond the soul-destroying banality of day after day of boring, purposeless wealth.

I suggest we offer them the opportunity to be mechanically pulverized in a painless way, mixed with surplus soy and corn fiber, and pelletized to serve as hog fodder. They could feed the starving in North Africa! Each bag could be labelled with the name of the generous donor, it would be a national service that didn't involve shooting someone.