The cognitive dissonance in your comment is quite stark.  Additionally, the terms that you propose as to who gets to hold the "talking stick" are rather presumptuous. Speaking for myself, I do indeed have firsthand experience with the tragedy and loss associated with people KILLING THEMSELVES with drugs and alcohol...which is a large part of the reason that I emphatically reject the idea that we are handling the problem correctly/effectively when we (a) feel sorry for them to the point of enabling them rather than actually helping them, and (b) gloss over all of the bad decisions and "second chances" (usually they've had dozens if not hundreds of "second chances" before meeting their quite predictable demise) that they turned their backs on along the way.  Don't tell people to shut up just because you don't like what they're saying.