Congratulations, xbt, you’re on the way to recovery. It’s called the seven stages of grief:

SHOCK & DENIAL- You will probably react to learning of the loss with numbed disbelief. ...
PAIN & GUILT- ...
ANGER & BARGAINING- ...
"DEPRESSION", REFLECTION, LONELINESS- ...
THE UPWARD TURN- ...
RECONSTRUCTION & WORKING THROUGH- ...
ACCEPTANCE & HOPE-

Looks like stage 1 for now. Stay with it, there’s HOPE at the end!  😊