(OPRAH.com) -- Her name was Margaret. She had an answer for everything, even questions I didn't ask her. She dominated team meetings, nearly jumping out of her chair with "Look at me!"--type comments aimed directly at the boss. There are some tactics to help you survive team destroyers. The rest of us sitting there, jaws slack with amazement and disgust -- we were merely a load she had to carry on her back. His name was Mike, and he hadn't done a full day's work in years, but he sure knew how to draw us into his life of woe. One night at 10 p.m., I found myself finishing his report on deadline. He couldn't be there, he said, because his father was sick. By that point, I wasn't even sure he had a father. But there I was, alone, frustrated, and exhausted, in a state of loathing for work so intense I wished I could ditch it all. Oprah.com: The truth about saying no at work And that is exactly where a dysfunctional co-worker --or as I call them, an "un-teammate" -- can put you. It's a crying shame, because working alongside a good team player is one of life's most fulfilling experiences. She makes work enjoyable; she makes it feel like something bigger than a paycheck. Working with team destroyers, well, destroys all that. They slow work down; they sap its fun, trust, and creativity. And in the process, they invariably undermine the candid and energized debate that characterizes any successful group. So why aren't they all sent packing? In good organizations, most are --eventually. But many team destroyers are like workplace Houdinis, escaping damage to their own careers while making everyone else look bad. These are the people you must survive. But how? The answer depends on the type of un-teammate you're dealing with. Generally speaking, there are five: Boss Haters, Stars, Sliders, Pity Parties, and Self-Promoters. Each species has its own way of poisoning the environment and its own antidote. The first thing you can do is start with the assumption that virtually every team destroyer is an unhappy person. No one tries to damage co-workers, a team, or an entire organization without being a bit emotionally damaged themselves. Oprah.com: 6 signs you're in the wrong job Boss haters, stars and sliders Let's start with the boss haters -- you know the type. Harry will tell you his disdain for authority is a reasonable reaction to the tyranny of incompetent bosses. Elizabeth will tell you she refuses to be oppressed by corporate lackeys. Other Boss Haters have personal issues behind their nitpicking resistance to every directive from above. I once met a manager who told me, "For a long time, I hated all my bosses because my father was a cruel authoritarian --I almost ruined my own career. Thank God I came to my senses." Such conversion experiences are rare, however. Most Boss Haters persist, using every kind of subterfuge from eye-rolling to outright belligerence, until management loses patience and ousts them. Some Boss Haters are hard to extricate because of union rules or special skills. If that's your situation, your best approach as the peer of a Boss Hater is a freeze-out. Don't belabor Harry's resistance or try reasoning with Elizabeth. Simply isolate; refuse to listen to their ongoing complaints. Once they're cut off from the group, Boss Haters tend to lose their energy. Now for Stars. Make no mistake -- organizations could not survive without their results. Fortunately, many key players are Stars largely because they are the best kind of employee, inclusive and inspiring, but some Stars can develop into real bullies. My team at a consulting firm had to endure Chad, an articulate (and, yes, brilliant) economics major from M.I.T. whom our clients adored. (Like other people in this piece, his name has been changed.) Sensing he was untouchable, Chad would

Question: What should you refuse to do to a Boss Hater?

Question: What should you do to a boss hater?

Question: What types of dysfunction will you encounter?

Question: how many types are there

Question: What should you steer clear of?

Question: what are the types

Answer: Simply isolate;

Answer: Simply isolate; refuse

Answer: Boss Haters, Stars, Sliders, Pity Parties, and Self-Promoters.

Answer: five:

Answer: dysfunctional co-worker

Answer: Boss Haters, Stars, Sliders, Pity Parties, and Self-Promoters.

Summary:
There are five common dysfunctional co-workers you may encounter .
Types: Boss Haters, Stars, Sliders, Pity Parties, and Self-Promoters .
Refuse to listen to a Boss Hater; steer clear of Pity Parties; turn Slider into a mentor .
Praise will draw Star back to team but only if you can say it conviction .


(OPRAH.com) -- I know you've got the major risks in your financial life well taken care of: Your 401(k) is properly diversified to help you weather market volatility, and your reserve cash fund is on call to cover life's inevitable emergencies. Good work!

But I'm worried about your financial blind spots -- those pesky threats to your security that lurk behind seemingly sound decisions. Here are a few common traps, and advice to ensure that you won't get taken by surprise:

Perils of plastic

Good news: You've sworn off credit cards. Goodbye insane interest rates and fees! You're sticking with your debit card from now on.

Hidden risk: Debit card transactions aren't reported to the credit bureaus, so if you don't use a credit card, you'll have less of a payment history -- which hurts your FICO credit score.

How to stay on top: I love, love, love that you want to use your debit card. But to keep your credit score solid, you still need to keep a few credit cards and use them at least once every few months.

Even if you think you'll never need to borrow again, your FICO credit score has a big impact. It can affect your auto insurance premium and whether a landlord will rent to you, and many employers even check it when vetting a job application.

Cards issued by credit unions typically charge lower rates (generally limited to a max of 18 percent) and fewer fees. Check out CreditCardConnection.org to find the best options.

Oprah.com: How to deal with credit card debt

The bond issues

Good news: You're sleeping better than ever since you moved all your retirement money out of stocks and into bonds.

Hidden risk: You're approaching two land mines here. First up is inflation. Make it to age 65 and there's a good chance you'll live another 20 years or longer. (More on this in the next item.)

Over a 20-year period, a 4 percent average inflation rate (the historical norm since the '50s) will reduce the purchasing power of today's dollar to about 50 cents. That will make it very hard to maintain your standard of living in retirement.

Bonds aren't an ideal inflation hedge, since their historical returns are typically not much better than the inflation rate. Making matters worse, because of the financial crisis and the Federal Reserve's efforts to keep the economy growing, bond yields are at unprecedented lows.

This is not a permanent situation. Soon -- maybe this year or next -- interest rates, and thus bond yields, will start to rise. When rates rise, the market price of bonds falls. That hurts your portfolio.

How to stay on top: Every portfolio benefits from bonds; they provide a cushion when the stock market hits a rough patch. But avoiding stocks completely could mean your investment won't grow any faster than the rate of inflation.

As a general rule, your age is a good guideline for the percentage of bonds you want -- if you're 55, put 55 percent in bonds and 45 percent in stocks. If you're worried about putting money in stocks right now, stick with mutual funds or exchange-traded funds (ETFs) that focus on dividend-paying stocks.

The dividend payout is a steady stream of income, much like a bond, and right now the yield on some dividend portfolios is actually higher than the yield on a five-year Treasury bond. While dividend stocks have their own risk, if you have time on your side -- at least ten years -- you can pocket that nice dividend income today, ride out the volatility, and, over the long term, potentially earn inflation-beating gains.

Oprah.com: How to go green on the stock market

Live long -- and prosper? How to enjoy a long, comfortable retirement

Good news: You're likely to reach a much older age than women of previous generations. Today a woman of 65 will probably live 20 more years -- 60 percent longer than her life expectancy in 1900

Question: What can hurt your credit score?

Question: What could not using your credit card do?

Question: Who points out hidden costs?

Answer: payment history

Answer: you'll have less of a payment history

Answer: Oprah.com:

Summary:
Money expert Suze Orman points out hidden costs to money moves .
How not using a credit card could hurt your FICO score .
You may not have enough financial protection for your children's future .
Playing too safe with your investments could come back to pinch you later .


(OPRAH.com) -- If there's anything Oprah Winfrey knows for sure, it's what the love of a dog can do for your life. "There is nothing in the world like puppy love," Oprah says. Inmates at the Fishkill Correctional Facility work with the dogs to prepare them to help wounded troops. Still, dogs are more than just companions. They can be the eyes for those who can't see, lead those who can't walk and calm people suffering from conditions like post-traumatic stress disorder. Where do these service dogs get their start? For some, it all begins behind prison walls... At the Fishkill Correctional Facility in upstate New York, more than 1,600 men convicted of abuse, robbery and murder are serving their time. "I've been incarcerated for robbery in the first degree," an inmate named Michael says. "I really had no regards for other people. It was always me, me, me, me." Now, a groundbreaking program called Puppies Behind Bars is transforming these offenders. Inmates are given 8-week-old puppies and taught to train them to become service dogs for the disabled, including wounded soldiers. The puppies and prisoners are together 24 hours a day. The puppies sleep in crates in the inmates' cells. In return, the puppies give the prisoners something many of them have never experienced before -- unconditional love. "I'm going to make my family and those around me proud of me again. Joining this program, it helped me to give myself a sense of pride again. To know that by nurturing and raising these dogs to their fullest potential, that I could give back." Oprah.com: Amazing animal friendships you have to see Animal lover and five-time Academy Award nominee Glenn Close first learned about Puppies Behind Bars when she volunteered to help inmates at the women's prison in her town. She was so moved by the impact of the program that she called "The Oprah Winfrey Show" herself to share this story. "We know the bond that can be created between humans and animals. And there is common knowledge that it's a healing quality," she says. "The bond that's created between inmates -- who never knew love, never knew responsibility, have only been told that they're worthless -- and the bond that they then train their dogs to establish with these wounded returning veterans from Iraq and Afghanistan is changing their lives." Oprah.com: 10 inspiring pets Roberto is an inmate whose life has been changed by the program. Convicted of second-degree murder, Roberto has been in prison since he was 17. "I am now 33 years old. I wish I could turn back the hands of time for the hurt and pain that I've caused so many people, especially my victim's family," he says. Roberto was chosen for Puppies Behind Bars and immediately bonded with his yellow lab, Frankie. "From the moment I got her, it was amazing," he says. "There was some beautiful moments in here that I shared with my puppy." Eventually, Frankie had to move on -- and Roberto had to say goodbye. "The first night I was without Frankie, I have to say it was a long night," he says. "It was hard for me to realize that the next morning I was going to wake up and not actually feed her that morning." Since leaving Roberto, Frankie has become a lifeline for Sgt. Allen Hill, who suffers from traumatic brain injury and severe combat-related post-traumatic stress disorder after he was hit by a roadside bomb in Iraq. Frankie helps Sgt. Hill overcome his paralyzing, violent flashbacks by kissing his face. After a few months together, Sgt. Hill and Frankie return to Fishkill to meet Roberto. When Frankie sees Roberto, she takes off running. "She looks beautiful," Roberto says. Sgt. Hill thanks Roberto for all that he's done. "Frankie has been there for me. She's been my rock when I've

Question: What is the purpose of training the puppies?

Question: Who will the dogs service?

Question: What will the dogs become?

Question: What is the name of the training facility?

Question: What is the name of the dog who helps Sgt. Allen Hill?

Question: What do the inmates do?

Question: The pups will become what?

Question: Who trains puppies behind bars?

Answer: service dogs for the disabled, including wounded soldiers.

Answer: for the disabled, including wounded soldiers.

Answer: for the disabled, including wounded soldiers.

Answer: Fishkill Correctional

Answer: Frankie

Answer: work with the dogs to prepare them to help wounded troops.

Answer: service dogs for the disabled, including wounded soldiers.

Answer: Inmates at the Fishkill Correctional Facility

Summary:
Inmates at Fishkill Correctional Facility train puppies behind bars .
The pups will become service dogs for U.S. troops injured in Iraq, Afghanistan .
Dog Frankie helps Sgt. Allen Hill overcome paralyzing, violent flashbacks .
Trainer Roberto says Frankie taught him patience, responsibility .


(OPRAH.com) -- It's the story that has brought dating violence into the national spotlight. Police responded to a 911 call alleging domestic violence between singers Chris Brown and Rihanna last month.

Tyra Banks tells Oprah Winfrey about how abuse affected her.

Later that day, both pulled out of planned appearances at the Grammy Awards, and Brown turned himself into police. He was arrested on the suspicion of making criminal threats and was released on bail.

Weeks later, rumors of their reconciliation were reported.

On March 5, 2009, Brown appeared in court, charged with two counts of felony assault. His arraignment has been postponed until April 2009 while he remains free on bail.

Statistics say about one in three high school students have been -- or will be -- involved in an abusive relationship. "The message this story sends to teen girls and boys everywhere is disturbing, and it is also dangerous," Oprah Winfrey says. "We need to try to evolve from this moment ... use this as a moment to allow our society to begin to grow."

Oprah believes this story can be a teaching moment for every teen and parent. "Love doesn't hurt," she says. "And if a man hits you once, he will hit you again." Oprah.com: 10 questions to ask your teens

Over the past few years, talk show host Tyra Banks has interviewed both Brown and Rihanna. "Rihanna told me her parents used to argue so intensely, she used to get these headaches, these migraines that were almost not even treatable with medicine," Banks says. "The moment her parents separated, her migraines went away."

In his appearance on The Tyra Banks Show, Brown said he watched his mother suffer abuse from the time he was 7 years old until he was 13. The abuser was not his biological father. "I treat [women] differently because I know I never want to go through the same thing or put a woman through the same thing that the person put my mom through," Brown told Banks.

When Banks first heard about the alleged incident, she says she didn't believe it -- until the police report was released. "I went back to that interview and I said, 'Oh my God, he's repeating [the cycle of abuse].'"

Tyra cautions against judging Rihanna for going back to Brown. "Sometimes we hold these celebrities up to a higher standard, but we have to look at her as a human being and understand that she is no better or no different than any other girl," Banks says. "She is just as easily pulled into the cycle of abuse of going back."

"I think we need to send love to both of them," Oprah says. "For him to be healed, and for her to be healed also." Oprah.com: 4 ways to heal after a tragedy

Banks says she knows the cycle of abuse all too well. While in her 20s, Banks says she was emotionally abused. "He never hit me, but I would say there were blows to my spirit, blows to my emotional well-being every day," she says.

On the outside, Banks says no one could see the signs. But behind closed doors, she says he was jealous and blamed her for his bad moods. "He was a master at being able to be happy and nice to everybody else but whispering these negative things to me," she says. "I'd start complaining to my friends, and they're like: 'Well, he's fine, girl. He's fine with us. Everything's fine.'"

Although she was one of the top 10 models in the world at the time, she says her self-esteem sunk lower and lower. "I stayed because I felt like if I left and he didn't change and didn't treat me how I felt I deserved to be treated, I was a failure," she says.

One day, Banks says she finally confronted herself. "I walked to

Question: Who was emotionally abused?

Question: Who was abused?

Question: What did Chris Brown watch?

Question: Who did Chris Brown watch?

Question: Which superstar was abused?

Question: What can Rihanna be used for?

Question: What kind of abuse did Tyra Banks experience?

Answer: Banks

Answer: Rihanna

Answer: his mother suffer abuse from the time he was 7 years old until he was 13.

Answer: he watched his mother suffer abuse from the time he was 7 years old until he was 13.

Answer: Tyra Banks

Answer: every teen and parent.

Answer: domestic violence

Summary:
Oprah Winfrey: Rihanna abuse allegations can be used to help other teens .
Tyra Banks: Chris Brown says he watched his mother suffer years of abuse .
Banks: Don't judge Rihanna harshly for going back to Brown .
Banks says she was emotionally abused, begged mother to make her break up .


(OPRAH.com) -- Lust, love and like. A healthful, happy love relationship serves up three out of three. A healthful, happy love relationship is a passionate best friendship. Modern women could learn a few things about love and seduction from Scheherazade. Many women think men only care about the lust angle -- finding a hot bod for hot sex. Unfortunately, there are many men who do only care about this. In my book "Prince Harming Syndrome," I explain how relationships that are too focused on sex wind up being what my favorite philosopher buddy Aristotle called a relationship of pleasure -- where you find a sex-mate or a relationship of utility -- where you find an ego-mate or wallet-mate. However, a healthful, happy love relationship is what Aristotle calls a relationship of shared virtue -- when you find a soul mate. Where you each get one another at your core, inspire and support each other to grow into your best possible selves. A relationship of shared virtue is where you feel the whole triumvirate: lust, love and like. Meaning? If you want to fully seduce a man, then you've got to know how to grab a man by more than his you-know-what. You must truly turn on a man's soul! Oprah.com: 5 things that make you sexy If you sleep with a man before you feel safe knowing you connect on a soul-to-soul level, the relationship might start off hot -- but like steam into air, it will rise quickly then -- pfffft -- vanish into vapor. Or worse, you'll wind up getting burnt. This is so important to prioritize, that I'm repeating this reminder in bold italic letters: If you can't stimulate a man in more areas than from the waist down, you will only be attracting a relationship of pleasure or a relationship of utility. And this man will not remain your man for long. One of my favorite quotes about love comes from the book "The Little Prince": "It's only with the heart that one can see rightly; what's most important is invisible to the eye." I love that the Little Prince recognized that the heart (another metaphysical word for soul) is the best lens for love -- making this Little Prince a major Prince Charming. Seduction Tip 1 (in bold italics so you recognize it is crucial to remember): If you want to be a man's Princess Charming, you MUST do more than work on tightening your buns or boosting up your boobs! You MUST tap into what I call "The Scheherazade Effect." Oprah.com: What to do before you can find love Remember the tale of Scheherazade and her 1,001 nights? Scheherazade was absolutely a Princess Charming who knew how to grab and stimulate her king's soul. Voilà! The CliffsNotes on Scheherazade: There once was a king who got very bored with the women in his life very quickly. He would marry a new virgin, "shtup" her, then send her pretty self away pretty much immediately... to be beheaded. Talk about a bad breakup, huh? And talk about a King Harming, huh? Anyway, this king killed thousands of women by the time he finally met the enchantingly different Scheherazade. What made Scheherazade enchantingly different? Scheherazade loved to read books and had lots of fascinating ideas and interests to share. Wisely educated in morality and kindness, she had a passion for poetry, philosophy, sciences and arts. She kept the king on the edge of his bed -- not with mere alluring sexual positions -- but with alluring stories to be told, each more exciting than the next. And so the king kept Scheherazade alive -- eagerly anticipating each new tale -- until, lo and behold, 1,001 adventurous nights passed -- along with three sons -- and the king not only learned to love Scheherazade, but he made her his queen. Talk about living happily ever after, huh? The lesson learned? It's very seductive to a man when you, as a full-bodied and full souled

Question:
Her 1002 storied seduced his what?
What did an expert say about women?
Who did Scheherazade keep interested?

Answer: soul.

Answer: could learn a few things

Answer: her king's

Summary:
Scheherazade kept her head on her shoulders by keeping her king interested .
Her 1001 stories seduced his mind and soul .
Relying on physical seduction often leads to heartbreak than happiness .
Expert: If women want to hear "I do" they need to say "I don't" many times .


(OPRAH.com) -- Mindy Perlmutter was having a birthday party, but this was not just your garden variety, chocolate cake, two kinds of ice cream, balloons, and a piñata type soiree. No, this would be an affair to remember. Lisa Kogan has learned the hard way about when it's important to listen to loved ones. This would be even more fabulous than Alicia Mittenthal's tie-dye-your-own-pillowcase gala or Daisy Feng's macramé-your-own-bracelet bash. This was to be a build-your-own-terrarium shindig, complete with colored sand and plastic stones and an incredibly classy assortment of glass goldfish bowls. At the time (the time being about 34 years ago), it seemed like a very big deal --  I mean, let's be honest here, it would still be a big deal to go to a party where you get to build your own terrarium...in, you know, a kind of retro, '70s, ironic, hipster way. So there I sat, looking out the den window, which gave me a clear view to the driveway while I waited for my ride to come spirit me away. Actually, it hadn't been our den since my grandparents returned from their life in Miami Beach and my folks rented a hospital bed to turn the den into my grandmother's bedroom. I loved my grandmother, but I can't say I ever really got to know her. She was the lady who played bingo and walked with a cane and kept a plump red tomato pincushion next to the creaky old foot-pedal-powered Singer sewing machine. I remember that she put up her own pickles and draped strudel dough across the kitchen table, and I know that she learned to reupholster her own furniture and got her first driver's license when she was deep into her 50s, and I'm acutely aware that she spoke to my grandfather in a very stern Yiddish whenever he tried to convince me to watch "The Lawrence Welk Show." My grandmother endured an awful lot from the man, but no grandchild of hers was going to be forced to watch Lawrence Welk so long as she still had breath in her body. Anyway, the sun was going down and my ride was running late and my grandmother started to talk. I thought she was going to warn me to be careful of something or other, because she was from the generation who believed that pigeons carry polio and she worried a lot, but if she was anxious about anything that night, she didn't show it. "I used to love to go to parties," she told me. She might as well have said that she used to enjoy scaling Mount Everest in flip-flops and a tutu. I was pretty sure I'd heard all the stories from my grandmother's life --  and none of them involved a party. Oprah.com: How to write your own memoir The talk I'd heard was always the same: She and her mother and her five brothers and sisters starving through the bitter Russian winters in a little village whose name sounded like a sneeze. I knew about the malnutrition, the crippling rickets, the father who slaved away for years in Detroit trying to earn enough money to bring his wife and children to America and how when he finally did manage to save enough, the man he entrusted with the job of bringing the family over disappeared with the money (was he killed? did he steal it?), leaving my great-grandfather to start all over again. I'd heard how my great-uncles Sam and Isadore would scrounge through fields looking for anything edible while my grandmother supported everyone with her job as a maid to the butcher's wife, and I knew by heart the story of how she lost that job because the woman caught her taking a sip of milk. I also knew how she met Arthur Levy, the love of her life, who my great-aunt Molly swore looked "exactly like a young Perry Como," and that he died a few weeks after

Question: Where di Lisa Kogan have to go?

Question: What did the grandmother want to talk about?

Answer: a party

Answer: be careful of something or other,

Summary:
Grandmother wanted to talk about dances, boys, silvery blue dress .
But Lisa Kogan had a party to got to and ran out the door .
Now she wants that chilly October evening back to talk with her grandmother .
So when daughter wants to talk funny stuff, Lisa knows enough to listen .


(OPRAH.com) -- One of the original Kings of Comedy, Steve Harvey is the host of one of the most popular radio shows in the country, "The Steve Harvey Morning Show." His first book, "Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man," is shooting to the top of the best-seller lists, and Oprah Winfrey says she loves everything it has to say!

Harvey says this book has a special meaning for him. "This is the first project that I didn't do for money," he says. "Other than my foundation -- mentoring programs -- everything I do is for money. I tell jokes for a check; I'm on TV for a check. ... But this [book] right here I did purely to empower women."

In his book, Harvey says the way a man introduces you gives good insight into the status of your relationship. If a man introduces you as a friend or says your name with no title at all, Harvey says you have nothing. "We're very protective. We mark our territory. If a man loves you...he's willing to profess it. He'll give you a title after a while. You're going to be his lady, his woman, his fiancée, his wife, his baby's mama, something," he says.

"If he's introducing you after six months, 'This is...Oprah,' you should be standing there going, 'This is going nowhere.'"  Oprah.com: Read an excerpt from this best-selling book!

Man with a plan

Another thing women need to understand, according to Harvey, is that every man has a plan. "Men don't come up to you to just talk. We come up to you with a plan," he says. "We're looking across the room at you, and we don't care about your hopes and dreams. We don't care about what your future holds. We saw something we wanted."

When a man approaches a woman, Harvey says, he already knows what we wants from her, but he doesn't know what it will cost. "How much time do you want from me? What your standards? What are your requirements? Because we'll rise to the occasion no matter how high you set the bar if we want to," he says. "The problem is, women have stopped setting the bar high." Oprah.com: What's your love type?

The cookie

Though a woman might want many things from a man, Harvey says men only need three things: support, loyalty and sex. Or as Harvey calls it, "the cookie." "We've got to have your support. Whatever adventure we're out on, whatever pursuit in life, we need your support. Then we need your loyalty. That's your love. We've got to know that you belong to us," he says. "And we've got to have a cookie. Everybody likes cookies. That's the thing about a cookie. I like oatmeal raisin...but if you've got vanilla cream, I'll eat that too."

Kickin' it

In his book, Harvey tells the story of his father-in-law's first introduction to one of Harvey's daughter's boyfriends.

"[My 26-year-old daughter] was dating this guy who was about 30. He had been over to the house about four, five times. And my father-in-law was visiting from Memphis," Harvey says. "He's in the kitchen and he's eating and [my daughter's] boyfriend is in there, and [my father-in-law] goes: 'So, son, sit down. Tell me, what's your plan for my granddaughter?'" After plenty of hemming and hawing, Harvey says the boyfriend finally said that the two were just "kickin' it."

Harvey was pretty confident his daughter didn't have the same interpretation of the relationship, he

Question:
What is he most famous for?
Who sets the bar too low when dating?

Answer: Kings of Comedy,

Answer: women

Summary:
Comedian Steve Harvey says women set the bar too low when dating .
Harvey: Workers wait 90 days for benefits; women should date 90 days before sex .
Texting is not dating, says Harvey, just easier way for men to tell more lies .
Men use terms like "gold digger" and "nagging" as weapons against women .


(OPRAH.com) -- One of the original Kings of Comedy, Steve Harvey is the host of one of the most popular radio shows in the country, "The Steve Harvey Morning Show." His first book, "Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man," is shooting to the top of the best-seller lists, and Oprah Winfrey says she loves everything it has to say! Harvey says this book has a special meaning for him. "This is the first project that I didn't do for money," he says. "Other than my foundation -- mentoring programs -- everything I do is for money. I tell jokes for a check; I'm on TV for a check. ... But this [book] right here I did purely to empower women." In his book, Harvey says the way a man introduces you gives good insight into the status of your relationship. If a man introduces you as a friend or says your name with no title at all, Harvey says you have nothing. "We're very protective. We mark our territory. If a man loves you...he's willing to profess it. He'll give you a title after a while. You're going to be his lady, his woman, his fiancée, his wife, his baby's mama, something," he says. "If he's introducing you after six months, 'This is...Oprah,' you should be standing there going, 'This is going nowhere.'"  Oprah.com: Read an excerpt from this best-selling book! Man with a plan Another thing women need to understand, according to Harvey, is that every man has a plan. "Men don't come up to you to just talk. We come up to you with a plan," he says. "We're looking across the room at you, and we don't care about your hopes and dreams. We don't care about what your future holds. We saw something we wanted." When a man approaches a woman, Harvey says, he already knows what we wants from her, but he doesn't know what it will cost. "How much time do you want from me? What your standards? What are your requirements? Because we'll rise to the occasion no matter how high you set the bar if we want to," he says. "The problem is, women have stopped setting the bar high." Oprah.com: What's your love type? The cookie Though a woman might want many things from a man, Harvey says men only need three things: support, loyalty and sex. Or as Harvey calls it, "the cookie." "We've got to have your support. Whatever adventure we're out on, whatever pursuit in life, we need your support. Then we need your loyalty. That's your love. We've got to know that you belong to us," he says. "And we've got to have a cookie. Everybody likes cookies. That's the thing about a cookie. I like oatmeal raisin...but if you've got vanilla cream, I'll eat that too." Kickin' it In his book, Harvey tells the story of his father-in-law's first introduction to one of Harvey's daughter's boyfriends. "[My 26-year-old daughter] was dating this guy who was about 30. He had been over to the house about four, five times. And my father-in-law was visiting from Memphis," Harvey says. "He's in the kitchen and he's eating and [my daughter's] boyfriend is in there, and [my father-in-law] goes: 'So, son, sit down. Tell me, what's your plan for my granddaughter?'" After plenty of hemming and hawing, Harvey says the boyfriend finally said that the two were just "kickin' it." Harvey was pretty confident his daughter didn't have the same interpretation of the relationship, he

Question: Who set the bar too low when dating?

Answer: women


(OPRAH.com) -- One portion of macaroni and cheese. One slice of chocolate cake. One pair of svelte black pants. Do some very simple, if highly emotional, addition and subtraction, and you arrive at a whole new way to see yourself. The first documented instance of my distorted body image is an entry in my fourth-grade journal. "I just ate three cookies," it says. "I feel fat." There is no way that I actually was; my jeans, although dorky, fit just fine. Nevertheless, the disconnect grew worse as puberty approached -- especially in eighth grade, when the body mass index (BMI) entered my life. This is a formula that tells you whether you need to drop pounds -- and while it's generally reliable, it doesn't take body composition into account. At 5'4" and 140 pounds, I'm close to the overweight category, but that's only because I've got heavy bones and a sprinter's thighs. Every time I calculate my BMI, I get angry at myself, even though I'm aware that I am in good shape. But what do feelings have to do with numbers? Most women know that it is possible to immediately gain 15 pounds by eating one pint of Ben & Jerry's. And when it comes to your butt (which can enlarge six sizes in the wrong pair of jeans), the rules of physics no longer apply. Oprah.com: Start loving the way you look We need a better way to quantify these fluctuations -- a formula that goes beyond your BMI and calculates the feel of overweight. So I propose the personal body image index (PBII). The general idea is as follows: • Start with your weight.  • Subtract seven pounds if you have just worked out.  • Add five if you've single-handedly finished a plate of guacamole and chips; four for macaroni and cheese; six for death-by-chocolate cake.  • Subtract 10 pounds if people nearby are fatter than you. • If you're wearing black pants, subtract two; if in a bathing suit, add eight.  • If you are more than seven years older than the group average or are surrounded by bikini-clad undergraduates with toned stomachs and cellulite-free thighs, add 20. iReport.com: What kinds of things do you do you stay fit? I don't advocate letting the PBII dictate how you live your life; it could turn you into one of those people who spend their beach time camouflaging their lower halves with sarongs. But once you acknowledge that the PBII exists, you can take steps to improve your score. Some suggestions: Hang out with people older than you, preferably much older. This has three benefits: (a) You probably have fewer varicose veins than they do. (b) Truly old people are inspiring; they tend not to give a damn about what they look like in bathing suits. (c) Except for my elderly neighbor, who once greeted me by announcing that I'd gained weight in my face, older people are usually effusive with compliments. My friend Luba, who lived to 99, used to tell me how beautiful I was every time I saw her, even though she was blind. Watch those college girls on the beach. Notice how often they adjust their bikinis and glance at themselves in other people's sunglasses. They are totally insecure. Granted, they are probably also judging you, but still -- I find their self-doubt liberating. Isn't there some cosmic limit on how much body insecurity the universe can handle? Embrace the bikini now: "Look how skinny I was!" my mother says every time she sees a picture of herself from the 1970s. "I thought I was so fat. I was 130 pounds." My mother, now 66, is living proof that you should do everything in your power to enjoy your body as it is right now so you never have to look at an old photograph of yourself and wish you'd spent more time in

Question:
What is BMI short for?
What does BMI not take into account?

Answer: body mass index (BMI)

Answer: body composition

Summary:
Calculating your body mass index (BMI) does not take feelings into account .
The personal body image index uses other things besides height and weight .
Standing next to fat people, wearing black pants lowers your score .
Standing next to young, toned, bikini-clad women -- adds 20 points .


(OPRAH.com) -- Oprah Winfrey often says that moms have the hardest job in the world, but plenty of fathers carry the burden of raising a child all by themselves. In fact, 2.5 million single fathers in the United State are doing it all-- juggling schedules, putting food on the table and going to school plays or soccer games -- single-handedly. Larry Shine and his expanded family visited Oprah Winfrey on her show. Larry Shine and his wife, Kate, had their first son, Henry, 19 years ago. When Kate died of cancer only two-and-a-half years later, Larry says he was overwhelmed with grief. "The year after she died, I was just so immersed in the tragedy of her death," he says. "Then I thought: 'I can't live like this anymore. I can't have this be our life.'" He decided it was time for Henry to have a sibling. At the time, it was almost impossible for a single male to adopt in the United States, so Larry applied for both international adoption and surrogacy. Surprisingly, both applications went through, and soon Larry became a father of three. Still, he says he was ready for more. Today, Larry is raising nine children on his own! "I never thought I'd be a father of nine. Actually, I never imagined I'd be a father," he says. "Maybe this all happened for a purpose. Because if Kate hadn't died, I never would have done what I did and these kids wouldn't have had a home." Oprah.com: 8 things never to say to an adopted child When it comes to raising nine kids (Henry, 19; Ari, 16; Halle, 15; Eli, 13; Lili, 12; Sofia, 10; Genevieve, 8; Simone, 5; and Lucia, 3), Larry says there is never a dull moment. His schedule is jam-packed, and it starts at 3 a.m. As if being a single dad isn't enough work, Larry also works full time as a corporate attorney. "When the second bus picks up the younger kids at quarter of nine, I leave and drop Lucia off at daycare. Then I go to work all day and come back and pick her up when daycare closes at 6 o'clock and then head home," he says. "[I work at] a very warm and family-oriented firm, so they're very supportive." Though Larry's big family is thriving, he says there were a few small bumps along the way. Eli's arm broke when he was an infant and hadn't healed properly before he joined the Shine family, but Larry says extensive orthopedic surgery fixed the problem. Lili had failure to thrive syndrome, which caused her to have trouble connecting with others -- though Larry says she opened up after three months in his busy house and is doing great. And, Simone's speech was delayed, he says. "She had therapy for about six months, and now sometimes I wish I hadn't given her speech therapy," he jokes. Is there room for any more kids in the Shine family? Depends on whom you ask! "I thought five was it, and I thought six was it," Larry says. "My sense is that nine is probably it ... because international adoption's a lot more difficult, and I'm older. ... [But] I've been given a lot of opportunities, and if it happened again, I'd have a hard time saying no." Henry, who is a sophomore at Notre Dame, says the family is at capacity. "We're at a pretty full limit right now," he says. "Now that I'm in school, I'd like to be around if there's going to be another sibling." Though he's rooting for Lucia to be his youngest sibling, Henry says he's incredibly proud of his dad. "Just how selfless he is

Question: What did the mans wfe did of?

Question: How many kids did a man add to his family after his wide died?

Question: Who started adopting so his son could have a sibling ?

Question: What did his wife die of?

Question: Who adopted eight kids?

Question: Who adopted children so his son could have siblings?

Question: One man added eight kids to family after his wife died of what ailment ?

Answer: Kate died of cancer

Answer: nine

Answer: Larry Shine

Answer: cancer

Answer: Larry

Answer: Larry Shine

Answer: cancer

Summary:
One man added eight kids to family after his wife died of cancer .
Larry Shine started adopting so his son could have a sibling .
He kept adopting because he couldn't say no to kids in need .
Another dad sets up blog, foundation to help widows, widowers raising kids .


(OPRAH.com) -- Oprah has always said that mothers have the most difficult job on earth, and actress Jenny McCarthy is one mom who has never backed down from a challenge. Doctors removed Monica's uterus, ovaries, gallbladder and part of her colon, along with her legs and arms. Jenny has been an outspoken advocate for parents of children with autism since her son was diagnosed with the disease two and a half years ago. In her new book, "Mother Warriors," Jenny tells the story of other moms fighting for their special-needs kids. So when Oprah heard about Monica, another mom fighting for her children, she thought Jenny would be just the person to get this mother warrior's story. After going through a painful divorce, Monica met Tony when she least expected it. Monica already had a 9-year-old daughter, but soon after she and Tony got engaged, they were thrilled to be expecting another bundle of joy. In August 2007, she had a C-section, and though she worried about complications, Monica delivered a healthy baby girl. But hours after Sofia was born, Monica began running a fever. No one was concerned at first -- Monica figured it was just hormones -- but three days later the fever hadn't broken, and Monica's abdomen was swollen and painful. iReport.com: What do you think about this story? Sound off on video The doctors at Monica's hospital thought she might be infected with a deadly strain of bacteria. They flew her to a hospital in Boston where she was diagnosed with necrotizing fasciitis, also known as flesh-eating bacteria. Defying the odds, Monica survived, but many of her organs didn't. The doctors removed Monica's uterus, ovaries, gallbladder and part of her colon that same day. Within four weeks, Monica's infection had restricted the blood flow to her arms and legs. Her nurses cleaned her limbs every day, and she knew they were trying to keep her from seeing the damage. But Monica wanted to face the disease head on. "I needed to know what I was up against. I didn't want to be shielded anymore," Monica says. Eventually, doctors told Monica they had to amputate both arms and both legs. The surgery sounded scary, but Monica was determined to put it behind her and get back to her daughters. "I was frightened at first, but when they told me [my arms and legs] had to be amputated, it was: 'Do it. I've got to go home,'" Monica says. "[I thought,] 'I have a life to live and it's not here, and until you amputate, I can't move forward.'" After her amputation, Monica spent two months in the hospital, where she underwent a total of 37 surgeries. As Monica grew stronger, Tony realized there was no reason to postpone their wedding any longer -- they got married in the hospital chapel in October, 2007. Monica spent the next two months going through grueling rehabilitation. "She's a fighter," Tony says. "If they told her two hours of physical therapy a day, she'd ask to double it up to four. She wanted to come home as soon as possible. They didn't think she'd ever walk again, but she made it happen." Right before Christmas, Monica got what she'd been waiting for. She was given the okay to go home to her husband and two daughters. A year later, Jenny visited Monica and her family at their home outside Boston, Massachusetts. "I had a big aha! moment after spending six hours with her. Monica accepted what is. She looked down and said: 'Okay, this is the situation. I can't change this, so I might as well surrender to it,'" Jenny says. "When she does that, she is able to move forward in peace." Oprah.com: Jenny McCarthy answers parenting questions Nurses and doctors say they expected a "why me

Question: Does she have any family?

Question: What is the number of surgeries that doctors perform?

Question: What procedure did she have?

Question: What was the number of surgeries Monica had?

Question: What was Monica diagnosed with?

Question: Does Monica have children?

Question: What does Monica now try to do?

Question: What caused the problems?

Question: Who was diagnosed with a deadly, flesh-eating bacteria after C-section?

Answer: husband and two daughters.

Answer: 37

Answer: Doctors removed Monica's uterus, ovaries, gallbladder and part of her colon, along with her legs and arms.

Answer: 37

Answer: necrotizing fasciitis,

Answer: already had a 9-year-old daughter,

Answer: put it behind her

Answer: a C-section,

Answer: Monica

Summary:
Monica was diagnosed with deadly, flesh-eating bacteria after C-section .
Doctors amputated Monica's limbs, did 37 surgeries .
"She's a fighter," husband says of Monica's strength and determination .
Monica now does everyday things for her two girls no matter how long they take .


(OPRAH.com) -- Shelly and her husband, Daren Forney, were the happily married parents of three beautiful girls, 13-year-old Jessica, 9-year-old Erica and 4-year-old Valerie. "Erica is my little sunshine because she lit up the house," Shelly says. "She was making us laugh before she was a year old."

Two days before Thanksgiving in 2008 , Shelly came back from a doctor's appointment to find emergency crews on her street. "There were all these people and a child lying on the ground," she says. "I had no idea it was my daughter."

Daren says Erica was riding her bike home from school. "Erica was just around the corner from our house," he says. "She was 30 seconds from being home safely."

Erica had been hit head-on by a 5,000-pound SUV. Police say that the driver had recently finished a phone call at the time of the accident. "The driver said: 'I'm so sorry. I didn't see her,'" Shelly says. "I felt badly for the driver because I thought: 'Oh, she's unconscious. She's going to be okay.' ... And they started cutting my daughter's clothes off and it was hitting me this is very, very, very serious."

Watch mom remember her daughter, the fatal day

Erica was rushed to the local children's hospital, then airlifted to another facility. "The neurosurgeon made it very clear she was going to die," Shelly says. "I spent the night with her that night. I held her. Cried. I kissed her. I sang to her. I just needed to have time with my girl."

The driver of the SUV, Michelle Smith, pleaded guilty last year to careless driving resulting in death and was sentenced to two years probation, a $300 fine and 150 hours of community service, according to the Denver Post. Her sentence also required her to write a letter of apology to the Forney family and have the letter published in newspapers.

Since Erica's death, Shelly and Daren have been working to change the laws in Colorado. "I don't want any other parent to have to go through this, or a husband to lose his wife," she says. "We have been trying so hard to get this law changed, and we're going to continue until it happens."

In the meantime, Shelly and Daren say every single person who gets behind the wheel can make a difference. "Get off the phone. Save a life. Don't talk and drive," she says. "You've got precious cargo in that car. Your life. Your children's life. They are not worth a phone call, a text, an e-mail. It's not worth it."

Nearly 500,000 people are injured and 6,000 are killed each year because drivers are talking, texting and e-mailing behind the wheel, according to the U.S. Department of Transportation.

"It is my prayer that this show, this day will be a seminal day in your life," Oprah Winfrey said on her show Tuesday.

"Let it be the end, the end of you using a cell phone or sending a text message when you are behind the wheel of a moving vehicle. And until we as a nation decide we're going to change that, those numbers are only going to go up."

Oprah.com: Take Oprah's no phone zone pledge

Most European countries ban the use of handheld cell phones while driving, but not all U.S. states have laws restricting texting and driving.

So far, 19 states and the District of Columbia have banned texting while driving. In seven states and the District of Columbia, drivers can only use their cell phones if they are hands-free. Of the states with these laws, Utah's laws are among the strictest, due to one distracted driver and two grieving families.

Oprah.com: Why multitaskers should beware

September 22, 2006, began like

Question: What happened to Shelly and Daren Forney's daughter?

Question: who lost their daughter in an accident?

Answer: Erica had been hit head-on by a 5,000-pound SUV.

Answer: Shelly and her husband, Daren Forney,

Summary:
Oprah Winfrey talked with people who lost loved ones to accidents with distracted drivers .
Shelly and Daren Forney lost their daughter in an accident .
They are campaigning for tougher laws against driving while using a phone .
Winfrey asks people to make cars a no-cell-phone-zone .


(OPRAH.com) -- Some know Emmitt Smith as the National Football League's all-time leading rusher. Others recognize him as a three-time Super Bowl champion or a Dancing with the Stars winner.

But do you really know who Emmitt is?

Until he traced his genealogy for the NBC reality series "Who Do You Think You Are?", Emmitt says he didn't even know the answer to that question.

To find out more about himself and the family members who paved the way for his success, this hall-of-fame inductee followed his roots to Burnt Corn, Alabama, the town where his great-grandmother was born. "I feel like a detective on a hunt trying to find clues," he says.

In Burnt Corn, Emmitt wandered into a convenience store and asked a clerk if he knew two of his relatives, Bill and Victoria Watson. Coincidentally, Joe, the clerk, turned out to be Emmitt's second cousin.

Oprah.com: How to dig up your own family history

Emmitt soon learned that his great-great-grandmother, Victoria, had an unusual maiden name -- Puryear.

Genealogist Marjorie Sholes told Emmitt that "Puryear" was probably the name of a slave owner. "African-Americans, at the end of the Civil War, sometimes picked the names of their last slave owner," she says.

The next step? Emmitt went in search of Victoria's parents' names. In an old ledger, Marjorie found a man named Prince Puryear who was described with the letter "m," which meant mulatto. "Specifically, black/white race," she says.

Oprah.com: Chris Rock uncovers his genetic roots

They also discovered that Prince's mom was a woman named Mariah. "Now, I know that Prince was mixed race and born into slavery," Emmitt says. "If Mariah was his mother, could she be the link between the black and the white side of my family?"

To explore this theory, Emmitt traveled to Mecklenburg, Virginia, to learn more about a notorious slave trader who owned Mariah at some point in history. The man's name was Alexander Puryear.

Virginia historian John Caknipe said Samuel Puryear, Alexander's father, might be the link to Mariah. To find out for sure, John selected a book of old deeds from a shelf. The number on the book was 22 -- the same number Emmitt wore on the football field for 15 years.

"I've been wearing jersey number 22 since college," he says. "Maybe it is my destiny, and I've always believed I was a child of destiny, but, whew, this is ... it's making me a little bit nervous."

Emmitt says the family history he unearthed in book 22 shook him to the core. John helped him find a property deed stating that Mariah was transferred from Samuel to his son, Alexander.

"Samuel probably had her bred," John says. "Then, when she got old enough, he gave her to his son. ... They raised and bred horses, and raised and bred slaves."

"In other words, the horses were more important than any slaves that they ever had," Emmitt says. "They treated my people like animals...but worse than animals."

The deed stated that Mariah was passed down along with a horse bridle and a saddle. "She was such a young woman," Emmitt says. "I have a 13-year-old daughter right now, and I have a 10-year-old daughter right now. I couldn't imagine them being passed down through slavery that way."

Professor Steven Deyle, a domestic slave trade historian, says it's safe to assume that Samuel was, in fact, Mariah's father. "Alexander was engaged in this horrible, horrible traffic and why he didn't sell Mariah is because he recognized Mariah as his sister," Steven says.

After discovering the horrors his family endured, Emmitt says he's even more thankful for the power of progress. "

Question: Who hunted for his family's history?

Question: Who did he trace his grandmother to?

Question: What was the last name of his great-great grandmother?

Question: What was Emmett Smith hunting for?

Question: What did Emmett Smith feel like?

Question: What was Smith's grandmother's maiden name?

Answer: Emmitt Smith

Answer: Burnt Corn, Alabama,

Answer: Puryear.

Answer: his roots

Answer: a detective

Answer: Puryear.

Summary:
NFL all-star Emmett Smith felt like a detective as he hunted for his family history .
He learned his great-great-grandmother, Victoria, had unusual maiden name: Puryear .
Traced her grandmother to a notorious slave trading family of same name .
Smith on his ancestor: "They treated my people like animals...but worse than animals"


(OPRAH.com) -- The recession has millions of consumers spending less, saving more and paying off debt. The fact that we are adjusting to the reality of this economy is good news, to be sure. There are items in any budget that can be scaled back easily. Financial expert Jean Chatzky warns there are items you should not cut out of your budget. But there's some spending areas where you shouldn't budge. Retirement planning The Pension Rights Center counted about 20 corporations in December that announced changes to their 401(k) plans. Many others have discontinued or downsized their traditional pension plans. If your company is still offering matching dollars, you should keep kicking in money to grab them. "To get that free money from your employer is so important for the long-term growth of your retirement nest egg. Especially now, with the down market, when you're dollar-cost averaging in at lower prices, that free money has more value in the long run," said Derek Kennedy, a financial planner in Cincinnati. If your company has cut back, it still pays to contribute. Also consider an Individual Retirement Account. You can get your money out any time and, after five years, use it without penalty for a first-time home purchase. Insurance Don't cut your homeowners insurance thinking that because home values have dropped you don't need as much coverage. What you're paying for is the amount it would cost to rebuild your home and replace your belongings. If you need to save, boost your policy's deductible. Raising it to $1,000 from $500 could shave 25 percent off the cost. Exercise Blue Cross Blue Shield of Minnesota just completed a study that found that people who go to the gym at least eight times a month have significantly lower health costs than those who don't. You can get those same benefits by going for a brisk walk, running or riding a bike or by spending less than the cost of a monthly gym membership on a pair of dumbbells. Healthcare Some cuts are fine -- generic drugs instead of name brand, for instance. But skipping doctor visits is a bad idea, and so is canceling your insurance. "I've seen so many people go through horrendous financial nightmares and even bankruptcy because they don't have health insurance. This is just not one you want to mess with," said Jonni McCoy, author of "Miserly Moms: Living Well on Less in a Tough Economy." Charity Giving to others can make you feel better about yourself and your situation. If money is tight, donate items you no longer use, give canned goods, shop at thrift stores that benefit a charity or share some of your time. Oprah.com: Five steps to secure your financial future By Jean Chatzky and Arielle McGowen, Oprah.com exclusive, March 2009 Subscribe to O, The Oprah Magazine for up to 75% off the newsstand price. That's like getting 18 issues FREE. Subscribe now! TM & © 2009 Harpo Productions, Inc. All Rights Reserved.

Question: What does the study show?

Question: what finds the study?

Question: Who is the financial expert?

Question: who its the financial expert?

Question: what cuts were made?

Question: What did the study find?

Question: what make you feel good?

Question: What cuts health care costs?

Question: What does Chatzky advise about homeowner's insurance?

Question: Who advises to keep house insurance coverage?

Question: What can make you feel good?

Question: When should you contribute to a 401(k)?

Question: What could reduce health care costs significantly?

Question: Where should you continue your contributions?

Answer: that found that people who go to the gym at least eight times a month have significantly lower health costs

Answer: people who go to the gym at least eight times a month have significantly lower health costs than those who don't.

Answer: Jean Chatzky

Answer: Jean Chatzky warns there

Answer: generic drugs instead of name brand,

Answer: that people who go to the gym at least eight times a month have significantly lower health costs than those who don't.

Answer: Giving to others can

Answer: generic drugs instead of name brand,

Answer: there are items you should not cut out of your budget.

Answer: Jean Chatzky

Answer: Giving to others

Answer: If your company is still offering matching dollars,

Answer: boost your policy's deductible.

Answer: Individual Retirement Account.

Summary:
Financial expert Jean Chatzky: Don't cut house insurance coverage .
Continue contributions to 401(k) if your company is matching .
Study finds exercise significantly cuts health care costs .
Giving money, goods or time to charities can make you feel good .


(OPRAH.com) -- What's it like to be a 30-something woman in America today? From religious choices to parental pressures, a successful single woman in Washington, D.C. and a devoted mother of four open up. American-born Muslim Mubaraka tries to be open with people so she can help them understand her religion. One issue that plagues an average of 6.3 million women in America is being single. Julie, a Chicago pediatrician, struggles with the stigma of being alone in her 30s. "I've tried JDate, a Jewish Internet dating service, Match.com, setups by my friends," Julie says. "I recently adopted a dog, hoping to meet someone out in the dog park." Like many single women in America, Julie is no stranger to the dating scene -- but finding dates isn't always the problem. "It's not that there are no men to date. It's that I'm not meeting anyone that I'm attracted to. Nobody that I think is quality and worthy of me and what I have to offer and what I want to do." Now Julie thinks marriage may not even be what she wants. Instead of waiting around for a husband, she's considering having a child on her own. "I'm probably going to investigate an anonymous donor and do it artificially ... I want it to be my own biological child," she says. DeChane, a successful attorney in Washington, D.C., also struggles with the 30-something singles scene. Her fear is that men are intimidated by her. "None of my female friends have ever said I'm intimidating," she says. "Having an education, a house, a job does not make me intimidating. It just makes me an adult living an adult life." She finds it ironic that her achievements may turn men off. "I would think they would find it more unusual if I walked into the picture not having anything. But I think after 35 years of living, working and being driven, I should have something to show for it." DeChane also thinks men make assumptions about single women in their 30s. "I think they assume that if you aren't married, you want to get married," she says. "Instead of meeting you and approaching you in a manner that's very basic -- 'I want to get to know you, who you are, what your likes and dislikes are' -- I think they walk in the door expecting you to try to strong-arm them into getting married, and it scares them away." For Amy, a divorced mom, dating in her 30s has been stressful. "I wish there was a manual for dating, because I have been out of the game for so long," she says. "Growing up, I always wanted to be a wife and a mom and didn't expect that I would find myself single again." With four children at home, Amy faces a unique set of dating issues. "I run a criminal background check on every guy I go out with," she says. "I have to be very careful about who I invite into our lives." Amy also realizes that a woman with kids isn't what every guy is looking for. "I don't consider children baggage. I think they're the bonus piece to the set, but there are a lot of men who don't see it that way," she says. For many women in their 30s, the pressure to get married can be intense. Julie says she isn't feeling that pressure as much anymore. "My original goal was to meet a man, have a family just like I grew up in," she says. "But it just doesn't seem to be going that way." As a single mom, Amy says the pressure comes from people who feel like something must be missing in her life. "People see me as a single mom [as if] that's something wrong. 'Oh, you poor thing. You'll

Question: Who can dating be daunting for?

Question: For what reason are some successful women fearful?

Answer: 30-something woman in America

Answer: men are intimidated

Summary:
Dating can be daunting for 30-something women in America .
The dating pool is small and some successful women fear they intimidate men .
One divorced mom does criminal background checks on her dates .
Married Muslim woman was forbidden to date .


(OPRAH.com) -- When I was a teen, I tried to read the entire Encyclopedia Britannica. My goal: Memorize its contents, be on TV game shows, win cash and prizes, run away from home, move to Manhattan and become a professional writer. Instead of focusing on getting Mr. Right, focus on finding Life Plan Right, says author. I got as far as Asparagus. To this day, I know a little about a lot of words beginning with "A." Some favorites: ants, atoms, alchemy. Plus, Aristotle was a childhood crush, because I've always loved philosophy. When I finished reading his one-page encyclopedic write-up, I bought books about him. I'd been saving these dog-eared, underlined Aristotle books, as well as the "A" book of Britannica, all to be used in a novel, where I'd been planning to bless my protagonist with the quirky detail of knowing all things "A." I recently rediscovered these Aristotle books when moving apartments. I flipped through and was surprised to discover Aristotle said a lot of the same things about love and happiness as modern psychologists. Only Aristotle obviously said it first, having been born at least 300 years B.C. Plus, Aristotle said it truly wisely. Indeed, much of what Aristotle said hit home big-time -- in particular about a sexy, smart, funny, rich, lying, cheating, don't-get-me-started Prince Harming I'd just broken up with. I could almost hear what Aristotle might say to me if we were to chat over souvlaki. 'Sold your soul to be with him' "Mea bene, Karen," Aristotle would say. "You know what your problem was with your ex? He was not your soul mate -- but your 'sold' mate -- because you sold your soul to be with him. Sure he was sexy, smart, rich, funny -- but alas, he was a liar and a cheat." "You're an intellectual guy." I'd correct the regaled philosopher called the "Mind of the Academy" by Plato. "I'm surprised you believe in something as namby-pamby metaphysical as a soul mate!" Oprah.com: 10 rules to soul mate love "Absolutely!" My fave Greek philosopher buddy Ari would respond emphatically. "Actually, I sort of coined the concept of 'soul mate.' If there'd been a little TM trademark thingy back in the 300s B.C., I'd be a very rich man today. I firmly believe caretaking the soul is incredibly important for happiness. I describe a soul mate as a 'soul-nurturing mate.' Someone who nurtures your soul, thereby promoting insight and growth. I pushed folks to find soul mates because, in my opinion, real happiness only comes when you stimulate your core self -- and grow into your highest potential. Basically, the soul is the ultimate G-spot for happiness." Of course, I'm paraphrasing for my philosopher buddy. But if Aristotle were here, I know he'd agree with my verbal modernization. Plus, Ari would go on to describe how he views the world as offering three kinds of relationships, only one of which brings true happiness. 3 kinds of relationships According to ancient philosopher Aristotle, there are three kinds of relationships, only one of which will bring you true happiness. Find out how your relationship measures up! 1. Relationships of pleasure Partners who are about sex, drugs and rock 'n' roll. You share soulless, passionate sex and playful banter -- but they're about the body or ego. They never soul-nurture you with insight and growth, so they never bring real-deal happiness. Oprah.com: How to break your bad man habit 2. Relationships of utility Partners you spend time with in hopes of garnering status, power, money and beauty like the rich guy with a trophy girl. Again, this is about body or ego and doesn't bring true joy. 3. Relationships of shared

Question: Who is aristotle?

Question: What is the Gspot for happines?

Question: What types of relationships did Aristotle believe bring happiness?

Question: What is the soul mate?

Answer: was a childhood crush,

Answer: the soul is the ultimate G-spot

Answer: when you stimulate your core self

Answer: 'soul-nurturing

Summary:
Author says ancient Greek philosopher Aristotle's advice for dating still relevant.
"Soul is the ultimate G-spot for happiness," writer translates .
Soul mate is someone who nurtures your soul, thereby promoting insight and growth .
Pleasure, utility and shared virtue are 3 types of relationships that bring happiness .


(OPRAH.com) -- When the first book of the "Twilight" series was released in October 2005, no one could have guessed the phenomenon it would become. Four years later, 70 million copies have been sold worldwide. The books have spent 143 weeks on the New York Times best-seller list, and the first movie in "The Twilight Saga" grossed $380 million at the box office. The story, a love triangle between a vampire, a human and a werewolf, has ignited an international frenzy, and the woman behind it all is 35-year-old author Stephenie Meyer. Once a stay-at-home mom, Stephenie says the idea for "Twilight" came to her in a dream. "It was two people in kind of a little circular meadow with really bright sunlight, and one of them was a beautiful, sparkly boy and one was just a girl who was human and normal, and they were having this conversation. The boy was a vampire, which is so bizarre that I'd be dreaming about vampires, and he was trying to explain to her how much he cared about her and yet at the same time how much he wanted to kill her," Stephenie says. "It really captured my imagination." That dream became Chapter 13 of "Twilight." Oprah.com: Get your Twilight" primer Before the night of the dream, Stephenie says she had lost herself a little in the work of motherhood. "I was really burned out. I really had gotten into that zombie mom way of doing things where I wasn't Stephenie anymore," she says. "[Writing "Twilight] was a release. That was the dam bursting. I'd been bottling up who I was for so long, I needed an expression." Though she'd been married for 15 years, Stephenie says she didn't tell her husband at first about her new passion. "My husband thought I'd gone crazy. I'd barely spoken to him because I had all these things going on in my head, and I wasn't telling him about this weird vampire obsession because I knew he'd freak out and think I'd lost my mind," she says. At first, Stephenie was documenting her dream only to make sure she would remember it, she says. "The dream was just something I was so interested in, and it was so different from what my everyday was at the time," she says. "I just wanted to remember it so badly. That's why I started writing it down -- not because I thought this would be a great story for a novel." Oprah.com: Read an excerpt from "Twilight" Though Stephenie had been an avid reader all her life, she says she was never a writer before "Twilight." "It seems kind of presumptuous to me [to think] anyone else would want to read the things that are in my head," she says. "I didn't think of it [as a book]. I did the dream. And then I wanted to see what would happen with them. It was just me spending time with this fantasy world, and then when it was finished it was like, 'This is long enough to be a book!'" Before "Twilight," Stephenie says she read every type of book except for horror. "That was the genre I just knew I was too chicken for," she says. "I read a little bit of everything. ... When I was 8, I was reading "Gone with the Wind" and "Pride and Prejudice" and all that, not knowing it wasn't my reading level." Oprah.com: Gift ideas for every reader on your list Now that "Twilight" is a huge success, it's hard to imagine any literary agent rejecting it. But Stephenie says she'd submitted it to plenty of people before she was signed. "I got nine rejections, five no answers and then one 'I'd like to read more,'" she says

Question: Who revealed her inspiration?

Question: Who is the "Twilight" author?

Question: How many people rejected her book?

Question: How many people rejected the book?

Question: What number of people rejected her book?

Question: Who write the Twilight series?

Answer: Stephenie Meyer.

Answer: Stephenie Meyer.

Answer: nine

Answer: nine

Answer: nine

Answer: Stephenie Meyer.

Summary:
"Twilight" author Stephenie Meyer reveals her inspiration for the book .
"I really had gotten into that zombie mom way of doing things ..." before a dream .
Nine people rejected her book, five ignored it, one said "I'd like to read more"
Coven of vampires added to "New Moon" after her mom suggested more action at end .


(OPRAH.com) -- You can find hundreds of gifts for your friends and family -- and help save the world. We've sought out eye-catching and adorable presents with proceeds that go to charity. Here's where to shop for a change.

Help elephants, bear cubs and seals through the International Fund for Animal Welfare's Gifts for Animals.

One-stop shop  WorldofGood.com

More than 15,000 eco- and socially conscious goods are available (some from as low as $2.50) on WorldofGood.com. Shop by gift category, or, if you'd like, "purchase impact," be it eco- , animal-, or people-friendly. Each product is vetted and comes with a short description so you can see exactly where your money is going. Fair-trade lip balms, organic soaps and bath fizzers are all under $15 and make excellent stocking stuffers.

Not just a pretty package PangeaOrganics.com

Pangea Organics' gift packages come stocked with bar soaps, shower gels, and lotions and arrive in a stylish (really, skip the wrapping paper!) recycled box inlaid with spruce seeds -- soak them, plant -- and in two weeks a baby Spruce tree will appear, along with, we assume, softer skin. Holiday gift sets start at $30 at PangeaOrganics.com.

Buy a gift, fund a business GlobalGoodsPartners.org, BuildaNest.com

At online boutique Nest, BuildaNest.com, the $30 you spend on patchwork Guatemalan tote will go toward ... creating more Guatemalan totes! The site sells original apparel, jewelry, home and paper goods made by more than 75 exclusive artists and designers and gives microcredit loans to women in developing countries, enabling them to start and maintain a business selling their own products -- which are then offered on the site itself.

Another likeminded organization, GlobalGoodsPartners.org, sells handwoven bracelets made by native tribes in Argentina and traditionally patterned silk scarves made by women in Cambodia. Global Goods Partners is dedicated to alleviating poverty and promoting social justice and funds women-led market initiatives in local communities in 18 countries.

For pets HoorayfortheUnderdog.com

Already have the perfect present for Fido? Attach a card from Hooray for the Underdog, a line by photographers Janet Healey and Joe Grisham -- a husband-and-wife team who sell stylish greeting cards featuring pictures of dogs and cats up for adoption in shelters. Ten percent of proceeds ($3 for cards) go to animal welfare groups and shelters.

For animal lovers AnimalGift.org

The animal lovers in your life may have already overdosed on cute cards (and books and toys and screensavers), but they might not have saved their very own elephant. The International Fund for Animal Welfare's Gifts for Animals program helps protect pachyderms, as well as bear cubs and seals, and also provides funds for urgent pet care and animal rescue. Each gift comes with a full-color pamphlet telling your animal's story, and there's no leash required. Donations start at $25.

Guilt-free indulgence Lush Cosmetics Charity Box, $20.45; Lush.com

Lush's hand and body lotion is made with fair-trade cocoa-butter, and proceeds -- 100 percent after taxes -- go to the organization featured on the lid of each pot. WaterCan, TreePeople, Amazon Conservation Team and International Fund for Animal Welfare are only a few.

Celebrate the season of light with Jimmy Belasco all-natural candles ($34). They're made of soybeans, vegetable oil and fragrance -- nothing else -- but the best part of this fragrant treat are the wrapping options. Choose from a wide selection of boxes decorated with cityscapes, calming landscapes, pop art patterns, and holiday themes. Five dollars from the sale of each candle goes to a good cause: You select one from a list of Jimmy's staffers' 10 favorites (with more options on the way).

Buying in bulk?  CharityNavigator.com

Good Cards (CharityNavigator.com) are the gift certificates of the philanthropy world. You set the price; recipients pick the charity. Perfect for those bosses, co-workers and clients you're stumped on.

Last minute  OxfamAmericaUnwrapped.com, UniversalGiving.org

Click, click, done

Question: Which website has the gift certificates of the philanthropy world?

Question: are there plenty of gifts you can buy that will help fund charities?

Question: Which website has stocking stuffers?

Answer: WorldofGood.com

Answer: hundreds

Answer: WorldofGood.com.

Summary:
There are plenty of gifts you can buy that will help fund charities .
Support small businesses in developing countries through BuildaNest.com .
CharityNavigator.com's Good Cards are the gift certificates of the philanthropy world .
Visit WorldofGood.com for eco- and socially conscious stocking stuffers .


(Oprah.com) -- A businesswoman, a mother of four, an international fashion icon, a woman committed to making the world a better place for women and children -- Queen Rania of Jordan is truly changing the world. Queen Rania says cultural dialogue, education and increased opportunities are ways to combat terrorism. Rania Al-Yassin was born in Kuwait. Shortly after Saddam Hussein invaded that country in 1990, her family fled and settled in Jordan. After graduating from business school, Rania began working her way up the corporate ladder. When she was just 22, she went to a dinner party where she met Jordan's Prince Abdullah -- considered one of the world's most eligible bachelors. He didn't remain one for long after that night. Six months later, Rania and Abdullah had a royal wedding and started a family. And, though they planned for a life as royals, Abdullah assumed he'd remain a military officer for life. In 1999, while on his deathbed, King Hussein of Jordan stunned his country by announcing that his son Abdullah -- not his brother -- would succeed him as king. That made 29-year-old Rania the world's youngest living queen. Rania says that being queen is not the trait she defines herself by. "I am not at all conscious of it," she says. "I make a conscious effort not to be conscious of it. Because I'm Rania, you know? People call me 'Queen,' but, you know, that's not me ... I'm Rania." There are many perks to being queen, of course, but Rania stresses that there are also responsibilities. "One of the major misconceptions about this position is that people think that I might be far removed, that I might not be in touch with reality," she says. "The honest truth is that my life is very much about dealing with issues on the ground, dealing with ... the problems that our country faces. That's something I do on a daily basis."  Watch how Queen Rania uses technology to reach young people » When most people think of queens, they probably think of what they know from fairy tales. "For me, it's just real life," Rania says. "I am a mother. I care about my children. I worry about what they eat. I worry about the influences from their friends." Rania is not only sitting royalty in Jordan, she's raising the next generation of royals too. She is the mother of four children -- 14-year-old Hussein, 12-year-old Iman, 8-year-old Salma and 3-year-old Hashem. Rania says her family tries very hard to remain down to earth. The family has relaxed much of the ceremonial pomp and circumstance of their position. Rania prefers that people not refer to her as "Your Majesty" ... and King Abdullah loves to barbecue! The family never discusses the possibility that Hussein, their oldest child, could be the future king of Jordan, Rania says. Instead, she says the family strives to remain like any other family. For instance, to get the things they want, the children have to clean their rooms and do well in school. "The most important thing is to instill them with the right values," Rania says. "I just feel that values are the shield that you carry with you throughout life. It protects you from whatever life throws at you." Rania has become famous around the world for her efforts to improve educational opportunities for girls and the rights of women. "In my mind, poverty is a 'she,'" Rania says. Helping others is something Rania says she feels compelled to do. "Once you feel that others are like you, then you want for others what you want for yourself," she says. "And that way you start helping others." Rania explains that there is a direct relationship between increasing education and eliminating poverty. "You can change the course of a nation through education," she says. "One of

Question: Who is a businesswoman, a mother of four and a fashion icon?

Question: How many children does Queen Rania have?

Question: What is she well known for?

Question: What county is Queen Rania the queen of?

Question: What is the number of children Queen Rania has?

Question: What is the responsibility the queen says she has?

Question: Who would like to break stereotypes the West has about Arab culture?

Question: Who says she has responsibility to help her country?

Answer: Queen Rania

Answer: four,

Answer: the world's youngest living queen.

Answer: Jordan

Answer: four

Answer: dealing with issues on the ground, dealing with ... the problems that our country faces.

Answer: Queen Rania

Answer: Queen Rania

Summary:
Queen Rania is a businesswoman, a mother of four and a fashion icon .
The queen of Jordan says she has responsibility to help her country .
She is well known for efforts to improve education for girls .
Rania would like to break stereotypes the West has about Arab culture .


(Oprah.com) -- A decade ago Alissa Everett was holed up in her cubicle at an investment bank in San Francisco, flipping through acceptance packages from two top MBA programs. Numb from 100-hour workweeks, she'd applied to business school "because that's what everyone else was doing," she recalls. But as she read about statistics, accounting, and operations courses, "I had an aha moment," she says.

Oprah.com: 10 pieces of advice to get you through a terrible day

It suddenly seemed ridiculous to take on crushing debt to study subjects she wasn't passionate about. Within weeks, Everett had tossed her acceptance letters in the trash, quit her job, and flown to Southeast Asia to do some soul-searching.

Oprah.com: The one thing everybody in the world wants

Backpacking for months through Thailand, Indonesia, Malaysia, and Burma -- and later the Balkans, Syria, Lebanon, Israel, Palestine, and Egypt -- she snapped thousands of photos. "As a kid, I wanted to be a National Geographic photographer," she says. "When I left my all-consuming job and cleared my head, I realized taking pictures was still what I wanted to do."

Oprah.com: How to say no at work -- and still keep your job

By 2003 the invasion of Iraq was dominating the airwaves. Everett made a gut decision "to go where the news was happening," she says, hoping it would help her get her work published. She drove over the border from Jordan with a fellow journalist, and after she met an army media person, got embedded with the 101st Airborne. When U.S. forces killed Saddam Hussein's sons in Mosul that July, Everett was in the right place at the right time. She showed her photos to an NBC producer, who ran them on Dateline.

Oprah.com: 7 women who turned their passion for food into a career

Since then Everett has worked in Pakistan, Darfur, the Congo, and the Gaza Strip. Eschewing the sensationalized scenes of explosions and gunfire favored by many news outlets, she tries to capture war's more mundane human dramas: a farmer reaping a modest harvest in ravaged Darfur, a rape victim refugee starting a sewing business in the Congo. "I'm drawn to under-the-radar stories that have passion, hope, and optimism," she says. Everett's time in Sudan inspired her to cofound Care Through Action, which raises funds for women and children who are victims of human rights abuses; her photos help fund the charity. "I don't go to places just because they're risky," she says. "I go because I believe the world needs to know what's going on. I want to tell stories for people who can't."

Oprah.com: A 4-step guide to discovering your true calling

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Question: Whats the reason for her taking photos

Question: what was she doing

Question: Alissa Everett was deciding on what when she decided to do soul-searching

Question: what does she take photos to do

Question: what was Alissa Everett  childhood dream

Question: what did she want to do

Question: Everett takes photos to do what

Question: what was her childhood dream

Answer: pictures was still

Answer: flipping through acceptance packages from two top MBA programs.

Answer: flipping through acceptance packages from two top MBA programs.

Answer: help fund the charity.

Answer: photographer,"

Answer: applied to business school

Answer: help fund the charity.

Answer: photographer,"

Summary:
Alissa Everett was deciding on a MBA program when she decided to do some soul-searching .
A childhood dream of being a National Geographic photographer was still what she wanted to do .
Everett takes photos to tell stories for people who can't .


(Oprah.com) -- Are you truly happy? If you were presented with a group of people you've never met, could you determine who was really satisfied with their life? A panel of five people took a test to see how happy they really are. Based on this picture and a brief description, see if you can tell who is the happiest!

From left to right: Peggy, Noreen, Lachelle, David and Lorrie.

Peggy (pictured on far left) is a 44-year-old married mother of two teenage boys who works as the bookkeeper of the family business. Last year, both her father and her sister died, and her mother has been diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease.

Noreen (second from the left) is a 52-year-old divorced mother of two college kids. She's an avid swimmer and works in the operations department of a major airline.

Lachelle (middle) is 27 years old, married and has no children. She works two jobs and has two dogs. Last year, four of her friends and two of her family members died within six months of each other.

David (second from the right) is 53 years old, and he's been a funeral director for 30 years. He is married and has two sons.

Lorrie (pictured on far right) has been married for 15 years and has six children. She works in retail and also serves as the vice president of her PTA.

Peggy, David and Lachelle scored the highest on the satisfaction scale, while Noreen and Lorrie scored the lowest.

Satisfaction for Peggy is achieved by surrounding herself with happiness. The most important thing? Her husband. "He is there for me. He doesn't only love me, he appreciates me and makes me feel good," Peggy says. Happiness doesn't depend on money, she says. It's about enjoying the simple things. "Every morning I have a ritual. After the boys have left, [my husband and I] get in the hot tub, and it's our time. We talk about what is going on for the rest of the day. It is just our quality time just to stay connected."

David, the funeral director, says he's developed phrases that help him keep a positive outlook. "I will say, 'It's a marvelous Monday. It's a terrific Tuesday,'" he says. Although he deals with death daily, David says his job is anything but depressing. "Most people look upon funeral service as a sad profession. I look upon it as a profession where I'm helping people at a very difficult time in their lives," he says. "Being successful in life is not what really matters. Being significant in life is really the core root of what matters."

Lachelle says she lives by the philosophy, "Negative out, positive in." She says she believes happiness is a conscious effort. "It's about claiming what's yours. If you want a positive life, you need to think positively and act positively," she says. "I do my best not to compare myself with others. I've always felt that what one person has may not be destined for me."

Dr. Robert Holden has dedicated his life to studying the pursuit of happiness. The psychologist is the founder of the Happiness Project in England and the author of 10 best-selling books, including "Happiness Now!"

Dr. Holden says those looking for happiness often don't realize they already have it. It's a lesson that he says he was lucky to learn at age 18 from a spiritual teacher. "He said, 'Look, actually, Robert, you're already happy.' And I said, 'Well, that's great, but I don't feel it. So tell me, what do I have to do?'" Dr. Holden recalls. "And he said, 'You have to understand that the pursuit of happiness is a mistake. It's like, you don't chase happiness out there. You learn that

Question:
What does Lachelle claim?
What did Lachelle claim?

Answer: she lives by the philosophy, "Negative out, positive in."

Answer: she lives by the philosophy, "Negative out, positive in."

Summary:
Expert: Many looking for happiness don't realize they already have it .
Funeral director finds happiness in job by helping grieving people .
Lachelle claims happiness even in a bad situation .
Expert: Good friends can remind you that you're a good person .


(Oprah.com) -- If you  heard there was a weapon proven to prevent most crimes before they happen, would you run out and buy it? World-renowned security expert Gavin de Becker says this weapon exists, but you already have it. He calls it "the gift of fear." One chapter in Gavin's book "The Gift of Fear" has stuck with Oprah since she first read it. The story of a woman named Kelly begins with a simple warning sign. A man offers to help carry her groceries into her apartment -- and instantly, Kelly doesn't like the sound of his voice. Kelly goes against her gut and lets him help her -- and in doing so, she lets a rapist into her home. "We get a signal prior to violence," Gavin says. "There are preincident indicators. Things that happen before violence occurs." Gavin says that unlike any other living creature, humans will sense danger yet still walk right into it. "You're in a hallway waiting for an elevator late at night. Elevator door opens, and there's a guy inside, and he makes you afraid. You don't know why, you don't know what it is. Some memory of this building -- whatever it may be. And many women will stand there and look at that guy and say, 'Oh, I don't want to think like that. I don't want to be the kind of person who lets the door close in his face. I've got to be nice. I don't want him to think I'm not nice.' And so human beings will get into a steel soundproof chamber with someone they're afraid of, and there's not another animal in nature that would even consider it." For weeks, Nicole had a funny feeling that something odd was going on in her apartment. "My gut started feeling like something just wasn't right," she says. "I would come home, and there would be just weird lights on in my house -- lights that I didn't even remember turning on in the first place." Then one day, Nicole noticed a UPS delivery box where it shouldn't be. "I'm like, 'How did this brand of box get on my back balcony?'" Nicole began to feel uneasy -- but continued to brush it off. "I would just come home, you know, and almost feel nauseous," she says. "I kept trying to justify it saying, 'Okay, it is in my head.'" Nicole's funny feeling eventually escalated into full-fledged panic attacks, which Gavin says were her intuition's way of telling her that something was wrong. "And intuition records everything. So when she started getting panics attacks, her intuition is saying, basically, 'You're not going to listen? Okay, I'll ramp it up. I'll give you panic attacks. You want sleepless nights? I'll give you sleepless nights.'" Nicole eventually did listen to her intuition, starting with a simple test. "I dropped a tank top behind the door as I was leaving for work, thinking that when I come home that night, I'm going to peek my head around the corner. If [the tank top] had been pushed to the side, it would have been obvious that the door was opened." When Nicole got home, she says the tank top had moved. Caught on camera The next day, Nicole says she set up a hidden camera to try and find out what was going on in her apartment. Once she came home, Nicole says she plugged the camcorder into her laptop. "And the first thing I see is this man's head peeking around the corner into my house," she says. "What I felt at that point was just complete terror. I'm sitting there watching this video --this story unfold -- and this person comes in my house, is looking around, going through my things, looking through my laundry, holding up

Question: What does he say about humans?

Question: When did the victims recall feeling uneasy?

Question: What is the only animal who senses danger and walks into it?

Question: Who are the only animals who can sense danger?

Question: Who says fear can be a gift?

Question: Who felt uneasy?

Answer: will sense danger yet still walk right into it.

Answer: noticed a UPS delivery box where it shouldn't be.

Answer: humans

Answer: humans

Answer: Gavin de Becker

Answer: Nicole

Summary:
Security expert Gavin de Becker says fear can be a gift .
Says humans only animal who senses danger and walks into it .
Two victims recall feeling uneasy before crime happened .


(Oprah.com) -- In 1977, my friend Brenda and I went for dinner at a little Chinese restaurant called Empress Garden. She had the lemon chicken, I had the shrimp har kow, and we each had an egg roll because in 1977 you could eat sugar and fat and deep-fried everything without its signifying that the apocalypse is at hand.

Our waiter placed the entrées in front of us and ceremoniously lifted the shiny silver domes. Brenda's chicken was crunchy on the outside, moist on the inside, lemony all over, and I knew in an instant that I'd made a hideous error in judgment --I should've gone with the chicken.

I tell you this story to illustrate my willingness to admit when I've made a mistake. In fact, I've rarely ordered a breakfast, lunch, or dinner I didn't regret; at this very moment, I'm wishing I had an iced tea instead of a Diet Coke.

But aside from the food thing and one very adorable guy in the early '80s who was all you'd want in a man except for the fact that he was also looking for all you'd want in a man, I am never, ever wrong.

Now, I'm not saying I always take my own advice or trust my own instincts. I'm merely suggesting that the world would be a much better place if everyone else were to do exactly what I tell them to do. Arrogant? You bet. Narcissistic? I suppose. But c'mon, admit it, you've had the very same thought kicking around for years. Still, I'm the one with the column -- so now without further ado ...

Everything I know about the world and how you (yes, you!) should live your life:

1. If you can't get a babysitter, for the love of God, stay home! I don't want to be sitting next to little Charlotte and Duncan as they fight over a Raisinet at the midnight screening of Atonement. You wanted kids, so suck it up, walk it off, subscribe to Netflix.

2. If your outgoing phone message is longer than, let's say, the Jean Hersholt Humanitarian of the Year segment of the Oscars®, it's time to rerecord.

3. Calling to let your friend know you're running late does not excuse your constantly running late.

4. I'd like to say a few words to every crabby traveler who responds with disgust whenever a baby cries on an airplane. Perhaps you don't know how babies work, but there's been a study, and it turns out that giving a 4-month-old the stink eye doesn't actually accomplish anything. Either have a little compassion or a little Ambien.

5. Here's something for any gentleman who may be reading this: If you look good in a Speedo, you will look even better in virtually any other kind of swimsuit.

6. I am a cynic. I am a pessimist. I came of age with the Watergate hearings playing on the tiny TV in our avocado green kitchen. But every four years, I wrestle my apathy into submission, read up on the issues, and cast my ballot. You must vote. I don't care who you vote for (that's not really true -- I think you should be penciling in my name), but you've gotta get in the game.

7. One word: Floss.

8. Any man who begins a conversation with, "I don't want to hurt your feelings ... " is about to hurt your feelings. It's the kind of phrase that's never followed by, "... but I just don't think you're eating enough. Please have more lasagna while I get you a brownie." Other opening gambits that pretty much scream duck-and-cover include: "Don't take this the wrong way... ," "You can feel free to say no ... ," and the always popular "Look ... "

9. Enough with celeb gossip. The problems of Britney and Jamie

Question:
what item do men look better in?
What is an Speedo?

Answer: virtually any other kind of swimsuit.

Answer: swimsuit.

Summary:
Highly opinionated columnist offers advice on wide range of topics .
An apology doesn't cut it if you're always running late .
All men would look better in something other than a Speedo .
Take a chance, wear your heart on your sleeve to get what you want .