>> a donkey could smear better art with its tail

This movie-shaped object is like an ogre - it has layers. And as it's not a movie i can't describe it as one. But i can write about the layers.

So, first of all this (jokery) is baked into a container with a theatrical aspect ratio. Which is important this time, because the outermost envelope asks you to "set your monitor into 16//9". Imagine being someone who works in video production and then agrees to publicly put their name to a project with such (stupid) tech-illiterate statement. This (thing) was shown in cinemas. Did the technicians have to adjust the projectors? Because you, (truly), cannot set your monitor to anything without stretching the image. And you (truly) cannot do anything after these (film-makers) baked the company intros and that message into a container with theatrical aspect ratio. But this is just the beginning yet.

The next envelope is pillar-boxed. You can zoom in in most open-source video players, to get rid of artificial pillarboxing in this letterboxed video. It shows only several seconds of meaningless garbage. It should be outright cut from this merde d'Artiste.

The next envelope with an old dude is barely present too. It should be outright cut from this merde d'Artiste.

The next envelope is a little bit more involved, with the young version of the dude. But being barely present it serves no (truly) point. It should be outright cut from this merde d'Artiste.

Then we have the solid core of this liquid night soil drifting in weightlessness through black void of pillarboxes and letterboxes. People paid for cinema tickets to see a tiny nearly 4//3 movie floating in the middle of the screen.

The centre of this shrek, the thing that you are actually watching, is an unquirky and unquaint rip-off of Zohan. You are watching a film that thinks bonking grannies is comedy. And it's unpleasant to look at. It's all extremely unnatural and flat. Absolutely all shots but one are parallel to the background. If there is a non-abrupt transition it happens in 90 degree increments. The unstory of this adventure is not as gag-inducing terrible as in Bottle Rocket, Rushmore, The Royal Tenenbaums, The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou, and The Darjeeling Limited. I suppose it's superior to that of Fantastic Mr. Fox and Isle of Dogs. But you see, this was supposed to be a movie. That people see with their eyes. And instead this is unphotographs of unpeople untalking. This is anticinema. This is a snowballing spit directly into the eyes of everyone who watches kino, cinema, motion pictures, photoplays, double feature picture shows, films, movies, talkies, silents, flicks, tapes, disks, even.

Formalist manure.