Why are cocky, quippy superheroes so annoyingly popular right now? Of the protagonists, Rocket and Quill are the worst for it, where it feels like every scene (no matter how serious) must come bundled with a dumb joke. The characters and performances in this film are fine at best, and at worst they're Chris Pratt, who clearly couldn't care less. Genuine character moments are either forced, like when Rocket gets drunk and gives his sob story, or deflated by a joke, and it feels like the characters don't really change beyond Marvel's usual learning-to-work-as-a-team arc. It's a shame, because on paper the Guardians are a colourful and varied cast of characters.

The story is also kind of lazy, and it's the sci-fi world-building that holds it up most, with lots of "Star Trek"-esque aliens and cool locations. I like Nebula and Gamora's sibling rivalry, and the separate directions in which it takes them, but I don't like the awkward love story between Gamora and Quill, the mostly unfunny dialogue, or the cheap dead parent backstory. There are far too many moments that want to be epic or cool, but moments like that come naturally, not because you force them. The only people who feel like they're in danger are nameless Nova pilots or Xandar citizens, but never the protagonists - despite moments where they seem like they're about to die, Gamora and Groot each survive once and Quill twice, so there are no stakes.

The soundtrack is something people love, but it's just a playlist of recognisable songs, and most of them only fit the scenes they're playing over in the vaguest sense of mood. It's a cheap tactic to make the film seem quirky and colourful. Speaking of colourful, the cinematography can be gorgeous to look at, though it's let down by poor-looking energy VFX (lasers, holograms, etc.) and too many things cluttering the screen during action sequences.

Marvel's tried-and-tested formula is just repeated here, but with extra pizzazz. It's a story about people working as a team to defeat a one-dimensional villain, and it has all the beats of the most average adventure film imaginable. A handful of beautiful visuals and some neat sci-fi world-building aren't worth it.

4/10.