A third rate B Movie, that belongs in an old flea pit "Art-house" cinema in the backstreets of a broken down district in town.

A discombobulated mash up of Matrix, The Way of the Dragon/The Karate Kid, Back to the Future (Parts 1-3) and Crossroads.

A script that can only have been written by some 1st grade teenybopper, who's been overloaded with pink ice cream, laced with ketamine.

The director, high on super grade tabs of Acid has force fed the thing through an old Hoover vacuum cleaner pipe and blown it out onto some spare celluloid in his toilet.

Jamie Lee Curtis stated that she couldn't understand the script. Well, quite frankly, no one can.

Actors and acting? In the role that she's been given; Jamie Lee Curtis is like a fish out of water, floundering around trying to make sense of it all on a stage with other actors who are all at sea in this nonsense.

VFX? Looked like they were something pulled out of a recycle bin and pasted in. That was explained, when I read that the VFXers had taught themselves from free online tutorials.

Anything good to say about it? Yes, I had a fabulous Lamb Madras Curry delivered from Kashmiri Spice in Burnage (superb food & recommend to all) before the start of the movie. Full to the gunnels after that, I fell fast asleep in the middle of this empty, noisy embarrassment of a thing for 40mins, saving me from the full 139min exposure. Thank the Lord.

7 x Oscars for this bs .. joke.

Good people; Don't waste139mins of your life watching this twaddle. Thank you.

Wanna see it though? Np .. you'll be able to pick up a copy from the Blu-Ray basement/reject box for 50p/60c .. £1/$1.20 for three in a weeks time.

PS Why have I given it two stars then? Well, it's a one star jobby that's for sure, but heah, I'm feeling generous today.