I have read several of the reviews for Inception, and, as with many other high concept, CGI-saturated epics, I thought I had watched a different movie. Sliced bread and two-ply toilet paper don't come close to the reverence this movie has received from contributors to IMDb.

Let's just say that, after a befuddled beginning, the science fictioner settles into a loud, incoherent, over-complicated, over-thought, headache-guaranteeing mess.

After an hour, I figured how bad can it get? I won that bet. There is an elephantine, week-long gunfight in some snowy place, a big deal with folks tied together and floating around a hotel, and lots of Leonardo DiCaprio trying to get back to his kiddies and away from the influence--I think--of his wife.

I didn't understand much. Just enough to say that I got it. Unfortunately, there was about six more hours of gunfights and collapsing buildings and, God Allfishhooks, why did I stick with this trash?

Ellen Page was cute, but, um, that/her/him/them has all changed in a dozen years.

How much aspirin before you overdose?