Let's start with the positive: good Art Direction.

OK, that's over.

Histrionic acting - especially Daniel Day Lewis playing late-career Sean Connery (WHY???) playing a timewarped American who barely changes in any respect from 1898 to 1927 (or is it finally 1929?... nobody else changes physically or otherwise, either, except his irritating son and the son's arbitrary girlfriend, who suddenly morph into different actors in order to get married).

Oh, the LENGTH, the LENGTH of this ordeal... and the pretentious editing. And the S-L-O-W-N-E-S-S... apart from the occasional hectic scraping of violins, like fingernails drawn manically across a blackboard.

I can't be bothered to go on. I've wasted far too much of my life on this misanthropic, nihilistic torture already.