I can't believe we waited 8 years for a Batman movie, and this is all they can come up with. This film is a complete mess, from the confused non-linear storytelling (whenever its convenient), to the amateur picture and sound editing, to the sloppy, distracting directing.

I hate to say it, but I'd rather watch the Adam West version of Batman (which actually had some wit) or even the George Clooney/Joel Schumacher disaster, only because it provides SOME kind of entertainment (in a B Movie kind of way). This film is devoid of humour, wit, suspense, mystery or even drama. All scenes are clipped down to their climaxes, and we are never given a chance to catch our breath.

Once again, we are given 3 (rather than 1) villains, which makes the film 1/3 as good as it could have been (no, not 3 times as good!), while it tries to cram 6 hours worth of story into one rushed 2 hours.

It's cut together like a movie trailer, rather than a story, so you're never really 'inside' the plot. You don't feel the suspense, or even the moment-to-moment reality of what's happening. So many scenes come and go with no real contribution to the 'story' other than to 'update' you on what's happening with the characters at the moment (don't confuse that with a real story!).

There are elements of the film--mostly superficial--that do work, but they barely register as a blip in this mess. Gary Oldman (our finest actor?) plays Sgt. Gordon to a 't', but his sub-plot doesn't allow for much of his 'man-on-the-inside' role that he provides in the comic. Ras-al-gul resembles the comic book version in name only, as he has somehow switched from an Arab to Liam Neeson as a samurai (!?!?).

Looking back, the film should've focused on the Scarecrow (and maybe an earlier draft did; the original working title was Batman: Fear, and 'fear' seems to be the main theme of the piece). Cillian Murphy's unique features couldn't have been imagined by a comic artist. Like the re-created version in the animated series, Scarecrow actually looks scary, and uses a power that would've been more satisfying is he actually got to use it more. Katie Holmes is excellent, Morgan Freeman is fine, and Michael Caine is adequate (I'm not British, but his accent seems way off for Alfred).

All in all, it seems that there MIGHT have been a good film in there somewhere, but it was simply ruined by last-minute editing and a soundtrack that seems like an afterthought ( usually the same boring song runs through several scenes in a row, reinforcing the 'movie trailer' feel). Then again, the weaknesses could lie with the most important creative choice of all: the writer.

I don't know where David S. Goyer ever got the reputation as a good writer, but considering the only credits he has to his name are trash-film comic book adaptations, he must have another career as a playwright or a novelist. First he adapted Nick Fury for TV, which landed him the Blade trilogy. Blade, despite its unexplainable popularity, is typical dark fantasy/action movie garbage; all silver/blue colours, heavy metal soundtrack and 1 dimensional characters.

I suppose the shareholders at Warner must've seen the numbers on Blade, because not only did they give him Batman, they also gave him the job of adapting the beloved Flash to the screen (God help us all).

It just goes to show that Warner should've stuck with their original plan of letting Frank 'Sin City' Miller and Darren 'Pi' Aronofsky adapt 'Batman: Year One', but that would actually require them to base their decisions on talent rather than the (imagined) potential profits.

Oh, well, another in a long line of comic book bombs, I suppose (after Elektra, Catwoman, Daredevil and Hulk, the future is already looking dark for superheroes). The sad thing is, the investors might look at the choice to let Christopher Nolan (Memento) to direct as a reason for its failure, and thus shy away from letting other 'indy' directors take on big budget superheroes. Sadly, this could mean the next Bat-film might star Will Smith and be directed by Michael Bay or Roland Emmerich.

Where's Michael Keaton when you need him?

3/10