I wanted to like Ready Player One, but I didn't.

I really wanted to like it because it soothed my ego to believe that a legend like Steven Spielberg could deliver a massive hit like the ones he produced during my childhood, any time he wanted too-and he may have (the box office has not come in yet). The only difference is, I did not feel that cinema magic he is known to deliver while watching this film. If anything, it felt more like watching Michael Jordan when he joined the Washington Wizards as a ball player. Sure, he was technically proficient at the job, but it was not the same as the Chicago Bulls era Jordan. That is what this Spielberg movie felt like-a movie that should have given up sooner. And at 2 ½ hours long, you'll understand what I mean.

Ready Player One is based on the 2011 sci-fi novel about a teenager named Wade Watts, who lives in the futuristic, dystopian slums of Columbus Ohio. It seems everyone in the world is hooked on a virtual reality simulator called the OASIS (Ontologically Anthropocentric Sensory Immersive Simulation) where people can engage in all types of simulations to satiate their needs and desires. Now hidden within the simulation is an adventure quest called Anorak's Quest-a challenged bestowed upon the gamers in the OASIS by one of the creators of the simulation-James Halliday. Winning the search will lead to immense wealth (trillions of real world dollars) and actual world ownership of the virtual reality world known as the OASIS. That's a hell of a prize and Wade is determined to win it. What die-hard gamer wouldn't want to go for such an award? Even better, what corporation wouldn't try to capitalize off that opportunity? Luckily, Ready Player One answers that question in the form of our antagonists-an evil, faceless corporation named IOI (Innovative Online Industries).

IOI's CEO-Nolan Sorrento-and his army of virtual reality indentured servants, who look like futuristic Planet Fitness customers, all work tirelessly to defeat the challenge. Seems like a pretty cool concept, right? I get why it was made into a movie. Now, I have no exposure to the source material, so I'm reviewing it solely as a movie, but the setup for Ready Player One is excellent. It's the midpoint and conclusion that are brutal to dredge through.

The film opens with the same spectacular car race you've seen in all the trailers, and it's as thrilling and nauseating as any scene you've ever seen in a Michael Bay movie. Which is odd for Spielberg because he's a master at showing action in a discernible way that maintains the intensity without vomit inducing editing. From that scene, Wade readjusts his strategy and figures out how to win it and secure the first of three keys to winning Anorak's Quest. He also shares the secret with a competitive gamer he's enamored with (Art3mis), and a small circle of players (Aech, Daito, and Shoto) who form his gamer squad. Aech (aka Helen Harris) is a giant black male avatar with Neanderthal and cyborg features whose indeed a woman in the real world of this film. This wouldn't be a problem for me if all of Aech's companions weren't given beautiful avatars while Aech's is horrific in appearance. Is it a statement of Aech's self-worth as written in the book-perhaps-but that same message could have been delivered without reinforcing offensive Hollywood stereotypes about people of color that have existed since the dawn of cinema. The character is portrayed by real world actress, Lena Waithe-a fellow Chicagoan and Columbia College alum like myself. To see such a talented woman represented this way is disappointing and I would think Spielberg would know better. But I digress. It's on to the second act, and this is where things seem to improve before falling flat. In the second act, a scene that plays homage to The Shining is one of the best moments in the film, but after that, the cat and mouse chase between our hero gamers and the hokey villains at IOI drag on far too long and in an incoherent manner. I wasn't remotely bothered like I usually am to have to take a bathroom break during the movie (and I was assured I didn't miss a thing when I did).

Ready Player One's biggest problem isn't the visuals-Spielberg and his team nails that. It's the lack of character development. There was never a time I felt vested in the fate of these characters. Even the characters are dismissive about the stakes in their lives. Wade's family is killed by the CEO of IOI, and his expression of grief is as short-lived as a gamer whose avatar dies at a crucial point in the game, but they get over it quickly because they know they get to keep playing the game. The attempts at humanity are muddied by Halliday's cryptic musings about love and life, and the characters in the game never seem vested in saving the lives of their avatar companions. That's because there are no real world stakes like there were in the Matrix where if you died in the real world, your avatar died as well. Well, there are stakes, just not stakes you care about, like the loss of all the coins they've collected. That's how empty Ready Player One is. Human life isn't valued in this film. Neither is humor because it's quite stale. All that matters in Ready Player One is the goal of winning the game. That seems contradictory to Halliday's original intent for the OASIS-valuing life over winning the game.