...that Lurhmann would take Fitzgerald's masterpiece and try for the brass ring - luridly spraying his sticky glitter all over it.

"Kick turn kick turn two-three kick turn!" Yes, I think Baz Luhrmann has finally exploded into the realm of the great "Roger Debris."

The film is a travesty. A train wreck. A "genius" toddler "fixing" daddy's fan belt.

Some people have never read the book, or failed to understand all but the broadest strokes - or even fail to realize that the book exists at all.

I'll lump Luhrmann in with these folks. I seriously doubt he even read the book. "The great genius, ignoring convention, putting his own, indelible mark on a great masterpiece."

Except none of those things are true.

This production is akin to chrome plating a vintage Bentley. Welding tail fins onto it. And then dropping it into Yankee Stadium on Elvis' birthday from the Brooks Brothers Blimp, which is on fire.

Anyone who appreciates the book - please - stay home. Don't even rent it later. Just read the book again.

Luhrmann doesn't have chops. He does however have an axe.