I am immune to the appeal of the Harry Potter phenom. I try to watch the films every now and then to see if I can get a handle on what all the fuss is about. It still eludes me. I was bored through this movie, with one scene standing out as engaging and interesting and having some magic, some sparkle. Obviously, mine is not the majority view.

I find Daniel Radcliffe frighteningly cute. He's just a child! Scary. The scene where several Harrys remove their shirts at once – wow. Hand me my fan.

Ralph Fiennes is one of the all-time great film actors. He does evil very well – see "Schindler's List." Here he is wearing some kind of CGI no-nose Halloween mask and he doesn't raise so much as one goose pimple. Fiennes could have made this villain, Voldemort, really scary if they had removed the silly make-up/cgi. As it is, you look at him and think, poor guy, some kind of no-nose birth defect. It would be unkind to stare. Hire the differently abled! I had no idea what was going on for most of the movie. I'd read a review saying that Hermione had to erase her family's memories of her, and that that was very poignant. That happens in an opening scene that lasts about a minute. Had I not read the review, I would have had no idea what was happening. Whatever was happening was not poignant to this viewer.

I didn't, and still don't, know what a horcrux is. Characters have magical powers, but which characters have which powers? Voldemort wants to kill Harry; Voldemort has magical powers. Why doesn't Voldemort just use his magical powers to kill Harry? What's preventing him? I have no idea, because I don't know how magical powers are apportioned, or resisted, in this world. There's scene after scene of wands and chases and searches and I never knew what anyone could do with what spell or wand, so I didn't know what was at stake and what needed to be done to protect what was at stake. At one point Ron tells Harry "It's about more than you." What is it about? Box office revenue.

There's a scene where Harry is caught under ice, alone in a forest at night: a real claustrophobe's paranoid nightmare. I found I could watch the scene without any anxiety. Now that's poor filmmaking.

There is so much stuff slathered on screen: eccentric English cottages with floating pears growing outside the front door, magical tents, protective snowy owls, elevators that travel sideways – and I never once said "Oooo" or "Aaaa" (except for that scene where multiple Harrys bear multiple post-adolescent, nicely muscled, newly hairy chests – ooo baby). Nothing felt magical to me. The ever present on screen junk all had the same, loud, tacky, K-Mart Christmas feel. "Less is more" anyone? There was one scene that worked. I was caught up in it, and, even as I was watching it, I imagined legions of fangirls watching this scene again and again once the home version is released. Harry and Hermione are feeling low. They are alone in a tent in a forest. Music is playing on a staticky radio. The camera focuses on Hermione in the glow of a kerosene lamp. Suddenly, the view of Hermione is blocked by Harry's sweater-clad shoulder. In the same way that he is blocking the scene, he is overwhelming Hermione's consciousness. He extends his hand to her; she rises; they dance, their bodies directed by their despair, their hunger for intimacy with each other, and their fear that satisfying that desire is not a wise idea. It's a truly magical scene, and all too brief. And it required no special effects, just young people you care about who are trying to thrive, as all of us do, through contact, music, art, and dance, in a life-or-death situation.