The Lighthouse (2019) -

What the hell was that??? Was it a Derek Jarman film or one of those strange Guinness adverts maybe? Either way I felt like I was on something whilst watching it. Not an experience that I intend to repeat I can assure you.

Firstly the lighting was a bit problematic and I felt that while it was apt to have it filmed in black and white, it could have learned something from the older films of that type on how to make it clear enough to actually be visible, without having to sit in a darkened cinema to work out who was who.

I also felt that Willem Dafoe's diction as Tom could have been improved, because I definitely needed the subtitles on when he was speaking, but he did play the part of an old salt well. I wasn't sure which accent Robert Pattinson playing Ephraim Winslow, was going for though and he could have been Cedric Diggory for the difference in the character he delivered.

The first twenty minutes were really slow going even for such a short space of time, because it was just so drawn out and dull. It was also very artsy, which can work for a short film of about no more than half an hour or one of those stout adverts, but I wasn't sure how I felt about it for such a long period as it was. And it really was a slog to get all the way through, like Winslow's time tending to the lighthouse was depicted to be.

Most of the time I was waiting for something to happen, but even when it did, I couldn't find any excitement about it. As such the whole film seemed to be about building tension only and not releasing it.

It could have made an interesting romantic thriller or some such thing, because there was definitely a sort of sexual tension implied throughout the film. Not necessarily a tension between the two men, but they were both obviously horny and they did start to act like a married couple towards the end.

In general it was far too surreal and without any clarity as to what was actually happening at any point. And as it drew to a close it actually made me come over a bit morose and started to freak me out. It really wasn't my sort of thing.

It certainly wasn't 'Portland Bill' (1983-6) or even 'Round The Twist' (1989-2001) in fact it was weirder than even that!

344.86/1000.