Memo to the producers of "The Amazing Spiderman": 1)There's a reason they're called comic books. They may not be funny but at least they're a lot of fun. Unlike this movie adaptation. 2)Being tongue-tied and sex appeal are not synonymous. Sputtering, stuttering and stammering does not make you irresistible to women. Even if you're Spiderman's altar ego, Peter Parker. 3)If the hero of the movie inadvertently maims a half-dozen people in a subway car before he realizes his incredible powers, he's a pretty crappy hero. 4) While crafting a script, the screenwriters should check on what they wrote before. Which might explain why tiny lizards are heading for the sewers and what happened to the killer with the star on his hand. 5) Oscar Wilde loved incredible coincidences. But this isn't a farce. So maybe the fact that the kid who gets bitten by a bio-genetically engineered spider is dating the daughter of the cop who is chasing the masked avenger is just a bit too much deus ex machina. 6)When Peter Parker soars across a basketball court and wrecks the backboard, isn't a medical exam a better idea than detention? 7)Just because a director is named Webb doesn't mean that he's the logical candidate for a Spiderman movie. Or didn't you know he spelled it with two b's? 8) You made one terrific decision. Martin Sheen gives his customary fine performance as Spiderman's Uncle Ben. But don't let it go to your heads.