I don't really write reviews on here, regardless of how good or bad a movie is, I've maybe done 2 or 3 tops. But for some reason I feel the need with this.

I really don't know where to start with Venom... which I guess puts me in the same room as the writers and director, because the whole thing is a mess from start to finish.

It just doesn't know what it's trying to be and as a result, isn't really catered in one direction or another.

The "jokes" are regular, but barring one smirk and snigger, were more eye rolling than anything else. The CGI is weak. The characters are 2 dimensional... scratch that, I don't think they had 2 dimensions even; the acting feels like they knew this wasn't going to turn out well; the storyline... well, flawed is being extremely kind. It's barely there. The action/fight sequences feel like something from a Michael Bay Tansformers movie for the most part (anyone who just asked what the problem with that is: get out now); as for the Venon "character" - it's just annoying in this movie and not remotely funny.... like a turd rolling down a hill (that's an actual line.... Jesus).

Honestly, there are 2 films I can think of, where I've been close to suggesting we give up and walk out of the cinema: Bird-man and this.

All I can think is that Tom Hardy's fan base is extremely loyal and that others enjoyed seeing Michelle Williams runaround in a short skirt (ok, I liked that too). I pray they don't make a sequel or if they do, they treat this as having never happened and start over with it.

Awful. Awful. Awful.