... because after a few minutes you'll be using the skip and fast-forward options.

The story is just your routine - 'they' come back and are nasty but our simple heroes do what's right.

The graphics are like any other animation that floods the cinemas these days.

The soul that made Titanic a classic - is nowhere to be seen.

The quality of acting that made Titanic a classic - is nowhere to be seen.

The emotional attachment that made Titanic a classic - is nowhere to be seen.

What more needs to be said? Just some rambling to keep the technical requirements of the hosts happy. Sixteen to go.