My partner and I sat through the majority of the movie wishing a) it would hurry up and that b) we went to Bohemian Rhapsody instead. I'm never going to trust the critics and audience reviewers again: this movie was straight up disappointing.

Lady Gaga can sing, and Bradley Cooper can act, and that's the extent of it. The plot was slow and shallow, if not predictable. Lady Gaga's character started out quite intriguing, then sold herself out to become some version of Lady Gaga herself anyway. She wasn't authentic at all (which probably summarised the music industry quite well, but her music didn't add to the soundtrack). About an hour in, I started checking my watch repeatedly ... I think I even fell asleep at one point. I haven't fallen asleep in a movie since The Revenant. I guess it's one of those movies trying so hard to be Oscar Nominated they forgot that viewers are paying to be entertained.

On the way home from the cinema we tried to figure out why we hated it. Was it because there was no depth to the characters despite potential for it? Was it because Lady Gaga was trying to play Barbra Streisand (rather than, like Judy Garland and Janet Gaynor before hand... playing someone original?), was it because the music was too Lady Gaga-pop instead of ballad? I mean, we're both musical fans with differing tastes, I hated the Greatest Showman and he loved it, I loved Hairspray and he hated it (so we both have different opinions on what makes a good musical), and we bring agreed that this was Bad. Or at least Boring. It simply wasn't all it was hyped up to be.

It might have been different if it was slightly faster, and it was about Jack's story. Then they could have renamed it a Star Dies or something less cliche. Anyway. Overall, 4 stars.