In which Greta Gerwig and Noah Baumbach recycle their failed 30 minute Black Mirror idea and pad it out to a full two hour shaggy dog tale, of little or no consequence, whilst breaking the hearts of nine year old girls worldwide who flock in their millions to a movie that flies straight over their heads.

To be fair the first three minutes are awesome when they pastiche 2001 A Space Odyssey (but we'd already seen it in the trailer). And Margot Robbie is breathtakingly beautiful from start to finish.

Ryan Gosling's faye Ken is, by contrast, just a bit annoying, (and to be fair, so is Robbie) but neither are as gratingly garbage as Will Ferrell and his bunch of Mattel men.

Other highlights include Billie Eillish's stunningly gorgeous closing music which gets all existential on us.

The design is, to a point, quite fun but not consistently so and the morale of the story, or the political polemic about equal rights for women, does not fail to land, although it does so in a Groundhog sort of manner.

This is not a good movie. Gerwig, Baumback, Robbie and Gosling have all done significantly superior work. This is quite simply a bunch of talented people having a laugh and getting away with it.

Hats of to Mattel for allowing a lot of self deprecation on their part and to the profits it will have raised for their mighty corpioration.

But is this good cinema? No, it is not.