Somebody thought it was a good idea to wedge some painfully dull melodrama in between the violence. What's with all this talking? This upsets me, because - simply put - every line of dialogue just means one less killshot to the head. The idea that these cardboard characters supposedly have "inner lives" is hilarious. The only "inner" I care about is their CGI blood.

Honestly, I didn't really watch this movie, or any of the John Wick movies. I'm sure they exist, but nothing here registers in the permanent memory. I think a guy fell down some steps. Mostly they play in the background while I go about thinking on better movies and not killing people. But I thought it important to add a review here because I was astounded at how this artfully dumb and endlessly repetitive series continues to justify incredibly long screen times. Donnie Yen talks a bit. Ian McShane phones in his McShaneiest version of McShane. Is that Clancy Brown? He seems to be doing something. Oh, a fight scene! But 3 hours of this?

My question for the John Wick universe is why? Video games already exist, and you get to control the character. Isn't that more fun than three hours of bladder-control tedium?

Hey look, Donnie Yen's not dead yet! What hour is this?