"Lost in Translation," is one of those movies that has received high critical acclaim. We went to see it on the basis of the impressive 8.2 weighted rating on IMDb. After seeing "Lost in Translation," my thought is, "What movie did everyone else see?"

We are presented with the situation of two presumably lost souls, searching for meaning in their lives. Bob Harris (Bill Murray), is being paid $2 million to spend a few hours making a Japanese whiskey commercial. Bob--take the money and run.

You're never going to play Macbeth. (Neither are you, Bill.)

We are also meant to have sympathy for Charlotte (Scarlett Johansson). Let's get this straight--you are young, beautiful, intelligent, an Ivy League graduate, staying in a luxury hotel in one of the world's great cities. Why are you sad? Poor thing--you took your degree in Philosophy and it never occurred to you that you'd need a PhD to teach the subject? Your husband is a jerk? (OK--he's a jerk. No one made you study Philosophy, and no one made you marry the jerk, and no one's making you stay with the jerk you married.)

My advice to Charlotte--stop with the angst and leave Bill Murray alone. Go home, get a divorce, go back to college, study law, social work, or education. Get a degree, get a job, get a life.

My advice to movie buffs--stay away from "Lost in Translation." Rent "Roman Holiday" instead.

It will be obvious that Bill Murray isn't Gregory Peck, Scarlett Johansson isn't Audrey Hepburn, and Sofia Coppola isn't William Wyler. Why accept a weak substitute if you can watch the same plot in a great movie?