I'm not really the target audience for The Godfather franchise, but I did go into the movies with an open mind. After all, I love heavily dramatic, soapy stories, I recognize the quality of the cast, and my mother's side of the family comes from Sicily. With all those elements in place, why wouldn't I like a movie about the importance of family, Italian heritage, and loyalty?

I'm not a fan of violence, but ironically, the version of The Godfather that I saw had been edited for appropriate television audiences. Much of the blood and violence was cut out, the swear words were muffled, and the sex scenes were deleted. The movie was only an hour long-just kidding! I don't know how or why this movie became so legendary, since to me, it felt like a B-picture starring a bloated, tired, low-energy Marlon Brando. This felt like a typical '70s movie, or an '80s television movie, with cheap production values and a has-been lead. I'll never, never understand why Marlon Brando was cast as the title role, and why, after his performance was seen during rehearsals, he wasn't replaced by someone else. Why wasn't Anthony Quinn, Lee J. Cobb, Martin Balsam, Kirk Douglas, Vincent Gardenia, Burt Lancaster, Anthony Franciosa, Joseph Calleia, John Marley, or Ben Gazzara cast? Any of them would have been more menacing, more Italian, and had a more commanding presence. Most of these men made their own "Godfather knockoff" in the ensuing years. Marlon Brando - who, despite the sound of his last name, is not Italian - must have patterned his famous, never-endingly mimicked accent after a friend, but among my Sicilian family line, and meeting people during my trips to Italy, no one has sounded even remotely like the cotton-mouthed, whispering, jaw-jutting "Italian" accent.

I doubt I'm the only person in the world who doesn't like The Godfather or its sequels, but those of us who aren't fans are certainly quiet. If you haven't seen it yet, I'm sure you'll want to at least try it out, since there are so many famous moments to the first movie. There's the offer, the cannoli, the bag of fruit, the car bomb, the fishing trip, and of course, the horse's head. Marlon Brando scratches his jowls, James Caan is a royal jerk, and Al Pacino explains the difference between personal and business. But most importantly, there's tons of self-importance and an almost tongue-in-cheek seriousness that begs the question, why were there two sequels?

Kiddy Warning: Obviously, you have control over your own children. However, due to violence, I wouldn't let my kids watch it.