Let's start with the good parts of this movie: Shriek was excellent.

The carnage CG was quite good.

There are about five minutes' worth of enjoyable action.

This concludes what was worthwhile about this movie.

I'm just picturing the meeting that led to this disaster of a movie:

"You know what worked in Venom? The humor! That cringe-inducing desert of laughter that was Tom Hardy mugging wildly while climbing into a lobster tank, or doing Bruce Campbell's Evil Dead hand-fight shtick, also while mugging wildly!"

"You're so right! We need to really crank that up; I want to hear Venom doing knockoff Joss Whedon dialogue that lands about 5% of the time, and I know audiences do too. My five-year-old thought the violence was a little scary, though. Can we go for a PG level of violence for Carnage?"

"Sounds a little intense, Bob, don't wanna scare the little ones out of buying action figures! We'll make sure there's no violence that wouldn't pass in something G-rated, but we'll get it a PG-13 so it doesn't feel like a kiddy movie."

"Won't the teenagers still think he's uncool, considering this is a movie about mass-murdering monsters that is significantly less violent than The Incredibles?"

"Easy! We'll have him call himself the Lethal Protector."

"Wait, so he'll kill criminals? Like, be an anti-hero?"

"God, no! What is this, a comic book? He'll just say it a bunch of times and then mug to the camera some more."

"I love it!"