Spider-Men, as it should have been titled, is yet more proof that stuffing more action into action pictures doesn't make them exciting. This is a two-and-a-half hour yawn. I almost dislocated my jaw at one point.

My two cents: First, for such a youth-oriented movie, the only cool characters are two of the adults, Dr Strange and Aunt May.

Second, the idea of a multiverse may be the single most damaging addition to Hollywood formulae since John Schuck uttered the F word in M*A*S*H, kicking prudes to the curb (good) but ushering in decades of lazy writing (bad). I had hoped Everything Everywhere All At Once would be the stupidest-ever use of the multiverse, because the hypothesis was wasted on the result: a chick flick, with Mom and daughter reconciling. But Spider-Men is just as stupid.