I love weird movies. I love sci-fi movies. I love kung-fu movies. I love action movies. I love comedies. True to its name, Everything Everywhere All at Once tries to be all these things, and more. It fails in most everything.

There are some positive things, but it is a short list. The basic idea and the message the movie tries to impart are potentially interesting (but the movie fails completely in conveying them, to such an extent that it has to literally try to spell them out at the end). Michelle Yeoh and Jamie Lee Curtis give their all despite the relentless nonsense they are put through. Cinematography is rather good. Fight choreographies are decent.

Everything else is just missing. There is no comprehensible plot. Michelle Yeoh's character is the only one who even tries to be anything more than a comic book caricature, and the superhuman abilities make even her totally unrelatable. Pacing is abysmal. There is nothing original nor funny in the movie. It steals ideas from a multitude of sources (like The Matrix, Marvel universe, Hong Kong kung-fu movies, animes) with an utter lack of vision on how to put any of them into good use, and adds "comedy" via elementary-school-yard-funny level completely random stuff (like butt plugs, hot dog fingers and googly eyes).

I love ice cream. I love sushi. I love pizza. I love Chinese food. I love hamburgers. There is artistry in creating delicious combinations from unexpected ingredients. But if you just blindly toss every possible ingredient you can think of into a blender, you get unsavoury, inedible mess. Tossing nonpareils on top does not help, nor does supersizing the deplorable sludge. That is what Everything Everywhere All at Once is.