A few weeks ago I took my Matrix DVD out of my collection and, because I was bored, decided to ring up my mate and tell him that either he takes it off me or I burn it. I had the matches ready and everything, and would have conducted a fascinating experiment into the effect of touching a DVD with a naked flame had he not agreed to let me give it to him. I kid you not.

This film is the worst waste of twenty quid I have ever bought. The psuedo-intelectual claptrap ("Hey, what if the world isn't real after all"???? Yawn, like I didn't already think of that when I was about five years old) is used to cover the fact that the main characters and large chunks of the plot were obviously, ahem, "influenced by" William Gibson's classic pulp-sci-fi tale 'Neuromancer', ie. they are largely identical (including the role of each character within the narrative) but have had their names or skin colour changed.

The visuals are quite pretty but again are totally lacking in innovation except for the 'Bullet Time' gimmick, which is fun to watch but not as impressive as had been made out. At least it wasn't over-used. Then we move onto the acting: Fishburne is fine, as is Moss, but Keanu drags the film into new depths of rubbishness with his trademark lack of emotion or even the slightest indication of sentience, ruining some lines that should sound great. Finally, the action sequences are well-choreographed but somehow seem flat, as if the pacing is a little off.

I won't be going to see the sequels.