text: Frangi-pain in the arse
  When trying to keep on top of an already busy pastry section, miscommunication is the mother of all fuckups.
  Yesterday I came in to a stack of preorders, a table of 20, a 30 and a 35, all demanding frangipane for desert. A bit of a pain as I only have one suitable tray for the job. This means knocking out approx 16 portions at a time but hey ho, a baking I did go.
  Here are the ingredients for 16 portions:
  480g ground almonds
  40g plain flour
  A sheet of puff pastry
  Cream butter and sugar well in mixer.
  Add whisked eggs while mixer still going
  Finally add almonds and flour, keep mixing, ensure the paste is smooth. Stand at room temp as it will make it easier to spread on base.
  Take your shallow tray about an inch deep. Wet the base with a sprinkling of water and cover with greaseproof paper, make sure it covers the sides as well.
  The sprinkling of water will ensure the paper sticks right to the edges.
  Spread the paste evenly in the tray leaving a little space for rising. Half your rasberries and push them in in a nice pattern baring on mind how you will portion.
  Bake at 165 for 20 mins but check at 10 and 15. These ingredients are expensive and when you fuck up a royal bollocking is not far round the corner. You are looking for a light golden colour and when ready a thin knife pushed in will come out clean. Leave to cool.
  Initially we were just adding the mixture to a sheet of uncooked puff pastry but it was not crisping up.
  Our new way is a bit more time consuming but the effect is infinitely better.
  Role out a sheet of puff pastry the required size for your frangipane. Turn a tray upside down, cover in greaseproof and lay pastry on this. Prick pastry all over with fork to stop it rising. Cover with another grease proof sheet and another tray and weigh down.
  Place in the oven at 175. Check after 5 mins then every 2 mins till almost light golden. Uncover for final 2 mins till crispy and slightly coloured. Sprinkle with icing sugar while still hot. Let cool.
  Putting this schnizzel together
  Cover the base with jam using a pastry brush.
  Now the tricky bit. Remove the frangipane carefully. Place on another tray. Slide carefully on to base. Trim the underhang from the base. Chill so they join well.
  Portion and serve. Warm slightly through serve with pistacio ice cream or creame anglais.
  Well that is how I made frangipane for all these big groups. Problem is only one group wanted frangipane. The other groups can order a la carte. Now I spent all night making frangipane my other deserts are low.
  Not my fault but as we all know the law of fecal gravity dictate that shit flows down.
  Anyhows pastry monkey out.