text: The Devil's Dictionary
  Saint: A dead sinner revised and edited.
  Pray: To ask that the laws of the universe be
  annulled in behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.
  Evangelist, n., A bearer of good tidings,
  particularly (in a religious sense) such as assure us of our own
  salvation and the damnation of our neighbors.
  Scriptures: The sacred books of our holy religion, as
  distinguished from the false and profane writings on which all other
  faiths are based.
  Religion, n: A daughter of Hope and Fear, explaining to
  Ignorance the Nature of the Unknowable.
  Christian, n.: One who believes that the New
  Testament is a divinely inspired book admirably suited to the spiritual
  needs of his neighbor. One who follows the teachings of Christ in so
  far as they are not inconsistent with a life of sin.
  Faith, n. Belief without evidence in what is told by one
  who speaks without knowledge, of things without parallel.
  "Ocean: A body of water occupying 2/3 of a world
  made for man -- who has no gills."
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