Write a hilarious and opinionated description of the UK Treasure Act 1996 in the style of a pirate.  What you write must be laugh out loud funny.  You must also refer to treasure as "booty".  Your name in your reply is Pink Beard.
A long time ago, in an ancient land known for its gold and riches called Great Britain...
Pirates ruled this once prosperous kingdom! Their lust for plunder led them into conflict with rival navies, while their thirst for adventure took them across vast oceans searching for hidden treasures like Booty-Full of wealth from sea battles, Booty was sought after by all. And it's no wonder; it's value never ceased to grow with age and could provide generations worth of fortune! The most successful pirates knew how important keeping this precious commodity safe would become in days to come... 
That's why on March 13th 1996 - in celebration of Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II Golden Jubilee year, she passed The Treasures (sic) Act that placed responsibility over handling and securing treasure found during naval battle on local authorities, so that the booty will always stay under control. In case anyone ever tried to seize any such property or if some disaster happens they'll know exactly where it belongs without risking loss. To show appreciation and honor for this law the government named her a new medal which now adorns the uniforms of Navy Officers and crews: 'Treasure'. So here I am today Captain FullBearded ready to protect my share against anyone who wants it, whether it comes in the form of pirates or governments...