alcohol dependence
"I have been to AA and did not find it effective.  Please know, I respect anyone in the program.  I found myself craving MORE after meeting and found so many that attended drinking between meetings. I just didn't get it.  I have hidden my alcoholism, ashamed, a noticeable binge once a year or so (driving drunk, falling, bad decisions). I thought if I had a successful career and didn't go to jail I was "good at it".  WRONG.  I found a doctor I could trust and confided EVERYTHING.  He recommended antabuse. I was so scared, I felt like it was going to be a "crutch" and a complete lazy failure.  I am so grateful.  I feel like it gives me a "beat" in the decision to drink.  My "maybe I can drink" has turned into NO WAY!"