schizoaffective disorde
"This medicine never made the voices I heard go away-though I'll admit they were a bit calmer. They couldn't have been anything but though, considering the fog I was in because of the side effects. I felt NOTHING, not happiness, depression, calmness, anxiety. I saw no wonder in the world, felt no kind of joy. It was no way to live-it wasn't living. It was existing, and that side effect didn't go away despite my taking it for months. Another side effect was the weight gain-in three months I'd gained thirty pounds."