schizophrenia
"I take 300mg. It's been 5 years. I was on higher doses, once up to 900 mg. My delusions never went away, but I can control my thoughts better. I think of something delusional, but I don't follow the train of thought. Since I started a serious relationship 2 years ago, I have been working on my anger and paranoia that he would hurt me. It's harder to control my emotions. Right now, I have a outrageous story in my head about him, but after reading the posts on this website, I know these feelings aren't new. I've felt them with my own family. I'm going to a National Alliance of Mental health Illness (NAMI) meeting soon to get support about how lonely it can feel to be exhausted. I pray in the morning to help my negative feelings and meditate at night to be present."