major depressive disorde
"I have wanted to die since I was in kindergarten. Perhaps longer. Now that I am college educated I know they call that "Major Depressive Disorder." 

I fantasized about death every day, all day. I never understood why other people wanted to live. They perplexed me. The anxiety started when I was 25 and got worse, until I was breaking down in tears in public. Finally I saw a doctor and was diagnosed. She put me on Lexapro. No dice. 

Next she put me on Buproprion 150mg twice daily. About 3 days later the anxiety was gone. One week later, for the first time in my life, I spent a whole day without thinking of ending my life. How does a drug delete a thought? I don't know, but it did. I'm much happier with a much drier mouth. lol!"