major depressive disorde
"I'm 20 and haven't truly felt happy since I was around 13 years old. Over the last year at work, I noticed that I had begun to have more regular emotional meltdowns and panic attacks. It was at that point that I decided I had to find a solution. I had already gone through counselling with various people and decided to try medication. Started at a low dose of 50mg per day. At the very beginning it made me a bit tired and nauseous, but it's been a while and I'm at 100mg. I think the 50 was pretty good, but at 100 I feel like I'm living on autopilot and am emotionless toward many things. I'm going back to 50mg and think I'll only go up to 100mg when I really need it. TBH though, I would rather be numb than go through the depression from before."