how do i select alternate email address attached to AppleID show outbound FaceTime? I use appleid@myowndoma.in but attached an address with my name.  FaceTime seems to allow selection of the other address but my brother complains about seeing literal appleid@ address
If I understand your situation correctly, you should be able to go to:

Settings > Facetime 

...and go down to "Caller ID." This will give you the option of choosing which email address or phone number to display.

EDIT: On an iPhone with iOS 10, that is!