Can't run Apple Hardware Test as Mac crashes My Macbook: Apple MacBook "Core 2 Duo" 2.0 13" (White/07).

Main problem: Mac goes black screen and shuts down when I try and load the Apple HW Test by holding down D as the computer turns on. It goes to a black screen with a flashing underscore like it's about to do something but then just shuts down. I am using the DVD as per apple's instructions.

Why I wanna do this: I'm trying to put some new life into my old mac and want to know if it's worth my while and where I should be spending money. The mac makes funny noises when it boots (listen here) and when it's running (listen here). I imagine there could be a problem with the HD, maybe the fans, (definitely the battery, is has 0% capacity), but yes want to know before I start spending money.

Desired solution: How to get Apple HW test to work, or suggestions for a better alternative.
Hardware defects

It is likely that some of the hardware that is needed for the hardware test to run, is defect. My personal experience is that this will most likely be one of your 2 RAM DIMMS. You can safely eject 1 and try the test again (and the same goes for the other).

If you run your hardware test from CD/DVD, you can also do this for your HD, and other components.