Why can't I be happy in the pursuit of Nirvana? If you are happy, you will have to face sorrow right? So I am being told to just observe everything with equanimity or Anapana. TBH which is very boring So I observed that instead of thinking of everything leads to sorrow in this world, why not enjoy this moment. (Is is necessary to keep observing when you are happy.)   

After all we want Nirvana because we are looking for a being in a state of something eternal, Which is equanimity.

According to me Equanimity is not happiness for sure.                 

In this Video Philosopher and writer Jim Holt says  we can't live like dead humans as per Buddhism and think like a western.

I have experienced intoxication occasionally and I was in to Anapana for nearly a week and I have kept myself safe from any kind of intoxication for a year, everything was going smooth breathing while walking, lying, sitting, talking not always but I was satisfied with my pace of being aware.

But this weekend I had nothing to do and suddenly a teeny tiny thought arises which says to get drunk and at the same time one of my friend said the same thing and we get drunk.

I was still trying to figure out what is happening in mind, Why I am feeling different now.

I know I should not be drinking is there anyway I can punish myself. I was actually scared of getting attacked by mind when alone. It attacked.

Should i keep in doing Anapana as i believes that it cuts your Karmic chain for the moment.
I answer, since you tagged Tibetan Buddhism. However, personal practice is a serious matter and I believe you should ask a qualified teacher.


  After all we want Nirvana because we are looking for a being in a state of something eternal, Which is equanimity.


No, in Mahayana, we want to achieve enlightenment in order to be able to  benefit all sentient beings uninterruptedly, without  limitations of ours (death being one of them).

Instead of focusing on equanimity, rather train in being patient, content, and have few desires. First, there is less risks of being confused about what patience, contentment and few desires are. Second, it is more at reach for a beginner. Third, aversion to pain causes much unhappiness while patience opposes this. We suffer a great deal just because we have the notion that we would be better off without this or that, or having this or that. Discontent and desires also create much unhappiness.

Tibetan do not usually emphasize Anapana. The concentration factor is in general just a means for the mind to become stable and flexible, and then abide in virtue. Right now, it's difficult to study for a long period of time, or to meditate for a long period of time. Body and mind get sore and exhausted, there is pain and boredom. We cultivate the three factors of concentration, mindfulness and introspection by doing Anapana (or usually focusing on the mental image of the body of the buddha) simply to become able to abide in virtue for as long as we want. It is like opening your eyes to then get to see this and that. Unfortunately, there are people who engage in Anapana meditation and the like just to feel better, temporarily sheltered from their issues, away from their usual obsessive and discursive thoughts, etc. These are not wholesome motivations. Great teachers usually say: if you want to relax, take a nap. It's way easier than meditating.

Meditation should not replace the bottle. It should not be a means to bury your head in the sand or an anesthetic that makes your life more bearable.

There is no better way to damage the karma you have accumulated than:


Purifying by way of the four opponent powers
Restraining from non-virtue by upholding discipline (turning away from the 10 non-vritues, taking refuge and lay vows, etc.)
Abiding by wholesome habits such as not oversleeping, taking refuge six times a day, setting motivation before engaging in activities, dedicating after, offering food before you eat, offering drink (even water) before you drink
completing activities
Studying the teachings of the Buddha, because this will help you see things the way they are
Cultivating altruistic intention, opposing self-cherishing. This makes the mind vaster, open, and inclined in virtue.