Can a Buddhist truthfully say, "You insulted / offended / angered / hurt me?" I feel that in his Ball Of Honey Discourse, the Buddha advised his followers to reflect within whenever they felt offended: and to identify the processes of their mind that caused perceptions or sensations to arise, which then led to anger.

In the context of this teaching, can a Buddhist ever truthfully say, "By your wrong speech or wrong action, you have insulted / hurt / offended / angered me. You are responsible for this offence, and therefore, it is your responsibility to stop doing this thing that makes me offended, hurt etc.?"

Please reply with references to recent gurus.
One could "say" anything but that would only be a relative truth. Ultimately one person doesn't cause another persons anger. One causes their own anger.

It is hard to understand ultimate reality unless one reflects within by atempting to experience  things that arise in one's experience moment by moment in the present moment. Remembering to see things moment by moment is basicly what is meant by mindfulness. 

The reason the Buddha's teaching is so seemingly contradictory is because of these two ways of approaching reality called ultimate and relative(conceptual) reality.  Reality is an other word for truth. Ultimate truth means our own instance of moment by moment atomic experience.

Most people are asleep to the ultimate, experiential and moment by moment aproach to reality. When we are not aware of our experience then we let defilements like anger and greed take us over. This is called mental proliferation and is basicly the opposite of mindfulness. Mental proliferation is the reason everyone suffers. Moment by moment mindfulness of the things that arise in one's own experience kills mental proliferation. Mindfulness is the cure for our suffering.



Here's a video, which hints that it's possible to use mindfulness to avoid reacting angrily:

Ask A Monk: Criticism and Insults

It's only 5 minutes long; I don't have a complete transcript but here are some selected extracts/sentences:


  
  No other person can cause "suffering" for you, all they can do is impinge upon your six senses. ... They can make you see etc. but they can't make you get angry ... or make you get attached, only you can do that.
  The problem is not the dirty look or the criticism, the problem is your reaction to it.
  ... we can change that through the meditation. ... that's quite difficult, that takes a lot of training but we are training to get to that level ... and it does work if that's continuous, even in daily life when it's difficult to do so, if you're careful and especially if you're prepared for it. ... If you prepare yourself in advance then when the situation comes up then you find yourself really able to deal with it in a much more profitable way.
  (you can use a similar technique to stop anger snowballing if it does arise)
  You mentioned losing all energy when you're criticized, don't worry about that, I think even if you're enlightened it would be very tiresome to be around, they say even the Buddha was tired when he was around such people and would often dismiss them. ... if you're going to live your life in a peaceful and happy way you're going to have to surround yourself with peaceful and happy people ... if you can't do that then try to say to yourself the greatest treasure that we have is our solitude.