No aim. No perspective. Begin of 30y. Scared about political-decisions. Paranoid. What should I do? Please make sure you read the whole text before giving me an answer.
I'm very serious about this and search a very good advise, something I didn't think before.

This year I'll become 30 years and I'm standing in the middle of nothing.
My boss fired me and all in all I feel I quitted more jobs in my life than changing my underpants.
I've no motivation to do something cause I've no aim for something.
When I started to do something (no matter what) I concentrate on it for a few days / weeks / months and than I left it and do something new or nothing, cause everything makes me bored from time to time or stressed me to much.
Then there are times I decided to do something very cool. These are the times I started to do something new for a particular time. But when I'm into it and I don't "throw it away" I think about all the political decisions (internationally) and get paranoid of a world war 3 or something like this. That's the reason why I don't want to do anything, cause I think "When I do something and the worstcase comes over us, there was no need to learn / do it."
I'm very deep in conspiracy theories and work sometimes hours, days, weeks and month to find out "the truth".
That's the reason why I think like I mentioned above.
And that brings me to another fact: I seriously hate this system of life.
I've the opinion we are not on this planet to work and pay taxes. In my point of view, both are waste of time --> Working for money, to make a low life - never become that successful, that I don't have to worry about the most money-cases.
In my opinion we are here to find a higher self.
Now there are 2 possibilities:


I want to stay in a monastery. Become a monk. But I can't cause of my girlfriend.
(But I think her thinking is right as well: "You just want to flee from everything".)
I don't want to build a future with making decisions with/for her when we broke up anyway someday.
(That's just my thinking)


My girlfriend is telling me, I should concentrate more on myself than on her.
I should do more what I want, not what she want or what is "best" for a common future. (Yes, she really loves me - no sarcasm here)

I've a handful of friends more or less but nothing I can work with for my personal life. It's not cause of them, it's cause of me, cause I don't like to talk about the most things.

And I've less than a handful of leisure activities.
I had no plan in the past and I don't have one right now.
In my carreer I developed a photography-eye so my references in photography are remarkable.
But I hate to stress myself out to search for some work for it (freelance) and I don't like to work with people at all (commercial studios who work for quantity, not quality).
The second thing I can do very well is solving computer problems of all kinds. Even when I've to search in the www for solutions I can solve every problem since I'm a child. Hardware &amp; Software. No matter which kind of operating system. Just doing it like I never did anything before.
My actually situation is: I've safed a little money to survive for the next 1 - 2 month.
I could search for another job, but the possibility I really hate it is very high and will quit anyway.
And I feel myself is to old to do something totally different and become SO good in it, that I become very successful with it.
So what should I do generally?
I feel like "I just want to quit life and try something else." (if you understand what I mean)
Cause everything I do is making me bored.
Everything I aim on is not SO special (in my mind), that I would spend my life for it. (For example: Become a programmer: Oh no, it's not THAT cool ... and on and on)
I think I see your karmic situation very clearly. You have a very strong predisposition to become a serious Buddhist. As they say these days, "you are a natural".

At the same time, you're kinda late in your cycle being in your 30s. If you start now you may not finish by the end of this life -- and in a next life, while major karmic and mental dispositions carry on, the conceptual knowledge and practices have to be restarted from scratch.

My advice to you is to not go to monastery at this age, and instead do a 100% watertight saint-type practice in your daily life. I believe this is your only chance. Then by the time you're ~50 you'll hopefully make the breakthrough and still have enough time and energy left to take care of future lives.

The gist of the practice is, you have to be perfect. I'm not joking (you wish I would). Obviously, life is an optimization game against many mutually competing variables but in every daily situation there is always the point of best balance. Which means, for next decade or so, you have to remove yourself from the equation and focus on achieving the best objective outcome in every situation regardless of your personal feelings. That's all there is to it: remove yourself from the equation, be impeccable, optimize every single situation as perfectly as you can.

This obviously includes your sense of self-worth (connected with praise and reward). Part of removing yourself out of the equation includes dropping all worry about how you look in the eyes of others. Your sense of the right must not depend on praise and blame of others. When you act like a de-facto saint (externally AND internally -- including not having negative thoughts about others or self-praising thoughts), then you know you are 100% right so you don't need to depend on others' opinions anyway.

Does this make sense? It's a very simple practice conceptually, the only difficulty is to be sincere with yourself - in order to make it watertight. From what you told us I see that this should work very well for you, if you have the guts to follow it through.