How do monks transcend the desire for relationships & sex? Being a 'genuine' monk means a certain kind of dispassion towards the world.

How is sexuality &amp; 'relationship craving' effectively dealt within a monk?

I am pretty sure a lot of monks struggle with it although they never speak of it. That's probably why many monks disrobe because they can't get the fruits of the noble path.

Is it with metta towards the opposite sex or just seeing the unattractiveness of it that craving reduces?
Is it with metta towards the opposite sex or just seeing the unattractiveness of it that craving reduces?

I think it's both of those -- with "unattractive" meaning:


Something like graveyard meditation
Seeing it as dissatisfactory (dukkha) or "not permanently satisfying"
Seeing consequences


I get the impression from watching some of Ven. Yuttadhammo's videos that it's also a matter of developing some dispassion towards "feeling".

And I think perhaps it's a matter of discipline (e.g. the vinaya) as an alternative to pursuing sensuality.

Another example of that, for a monk, is feeling hungry and yet not eating (except properly).

I suppose it's also a matter of habit, changing or attenuating existing habits (if any), and avoiding causes or occasions (e.g. being alone with a woman).