How does one escape suffering when they cannot provide for those they love Taoism and Buddhism say we should distance our self from suffering and accept life as is if we cannot change it. But what if we have serious clinical depression or cannot provide properly for those we care about?
It is easy to distance when your self is the only factor but not when others depend on us. If we cannot make the lives of those we care about good then is the next step to teach them Buddhist or Tao values of accepting life as is?
The real answer is that one cannot - it is the caring that causes the suffering:


Seek no intimacy with the beloved and also not with the unloved, for not to see the beloved and to see the unloved, both are painful.

Therefore hold nothing dear, for separation from the dear is painful. There are no bonds for those who have nothing beloved or unloved.

From endearment springs grief, from endearment springs fear. For one who is wholly free from endearment there is no grief, whence then fear?


-- Dhp 210-212 (Buddharakkhita, trans)

In fact worrying about others, or feeling depressed about our situation, doesn't help others or our situation to improve. This is how we reconcile with the Buddha's teaching; it seems callous and cruel to give up our concern for others, and it seems unproductive and negligent to stop caring about our worldly affairs. In actual fact, both our relationships and our worldly affairs improve when we give up our attachments to them.
Consider our concern for others; we worry, we fear, we cling to their happiness and suffering - does any of that improve our ability to work for their betterment? Clearly not. There is a difference between fulfilling one's worldly responsibilities and actually caring about their success or failure. Unfortunately, our culture (most cultures, in fact - even supposedly Buddhist ones) encourages us to care and looks with scorn on those who don't care. This doesn't make it any more useful to cry and moan when suffering arises or any less useful to be impartial and objective when dealing with problems no matter how personal they may be.
In brief, duty and responsibility should be what dictate our worldly affairs, not concern or care. As to what our responsibilities are, this differs from relationship to relationship; we don't have a duty or responsibility to teach our parents, for example, but we do have such a responsibility to our children. The point is, even if we fail in our responsibilities, we should not allow that to lead to sorrow or depression, neither of which is at all beneficial to self or others.