Why I keep repeating the same mistakes? I am new to Tibetan Buddhism and I am fascinated by it. One thing that bothers me in general is that I keep making the same mistakes. For example, every now and then I find myself procrastinating which has harmed me a lot. I came to know how cognitive psychology and neuroscience explain this behavior. It's the neural patterns that is hard wired in my brain because how I have been reacting to situations for a long time. Neurons that fire together wire together. But how Tibetan Buddhism addresses this issue? I heard from Khenpo Sherab Sangpo understanding a teaching intellectually and experiencing the teaching is two different things which made me think that there must be a spiritual aspect of this problem. I would really appreciate it if someone can help me see the spiritual side of this. Thanks!
In essence, this is about the self wanting control, or more precisely, the illusion of self and control. I think this is exactly what Khenpo Sherab Sangpo meant when saying that teaching and experiencing are different things: nobody can just tell you that self and the control the self wants are illusions, it's something you need to experience.
This sounds extremely esoteric, but if you think about it, it's really not. You can't really convey any human experience to anyone else who hasn't had that experience, even something extremely simple like what coffee tastes like. You can only use words to try to convey the experience, but words are limited and often have associations unrelated to the experience you're trying to convey.
The first step I would recommend you to take is to stop labeling the process as a mistake, as this gives cause to negative feelings. Try to observe the chain of mental causation that leads to procrastinating or &quot;mistakes&quot;. Do not judge or try to analyze, just become aware of the process. After a while, you will see that there is &quot;space&quot; between the arising thoughts and the feelings they invoke. Again, this is something you need to learn to experience, not just be told. The first phase of meditation is, in essence, to become aware of this process and learn to observe it without judging or reacting to it from those spaces in arising thoughts. Only after you've become comfortable with this can you turn to the &quot;why&quot; behind this process.
Hope this helps.