What does Buddhism say about dealing with negative people? I live and work around a person (relative) whom is constantly negative in my life. He always belittles me about what I do, and whenever I succeed at something, he claims it was luck. When I fail at something, he usually mocks me or says it was my fault, or calls me deragatory terms. Given this is a relative, he does care about me, but I think it is from caring too much that he always puts me down or spreads negative karma when I am around him. If I am too afraid to do something, he calls me a coward.

Being that my environment calls for existing around this person for much of the time, is there any way I can respond as a Buddhist? It will be awhile before my living condition changes. I tried Metta and showing compassion, and I read stories on how Buddha had historically handled insults from strangers. The hard part about this is that this person is a relative and family member. I tell myself to not be attached to my ego or self image, but I am very much a beginner, and when reality hits me, I find my peace broken by the negativity. I find the day poisoned by this bad karma.  

It is like I wish for others' opinions to not bother me or steal from my inner peace, but somehow what others say or think about me eventually robs me of the day's equanimity. Eventually I succumb to the negative energy. I always feel low in self-esteem after this happens. I always think as if I have failed in my practice by being bothered and robbed of my sense of harmony. One morning I woke up for Samatha meditation, and as soon as I left my room to begin the day I was greeted with a barrage of cold remarks.

I'm wondering what Buddha taught on this? I feel as if I am wrongly clinging to my self image or sense of self-worth in life. Sometimes I am mindful of it, and realize the attachment is there. 

Thank you, peace on you all.
With an ensō (and "the beauty of imperfection") as an avatar, you might like a Zen story: Obedience. The story reminds me of my mother, a nursery school teacher (very young children) -- she said that instead of trying to control their behaviour by criticizing them, "I wait until they do something right and then praise them" (e.g. "Thank you for putting your work away", or "Thank you for sharing", or etc).

One of the funniest stories I remember was of one of her assistants who, instead of directly addressing and criticizing the whole class, raised her voice just loudly enough for everyone to hear and said to my mum: "Mrs. Teacher, where have all the quiet children gone?"



I can't easily fathom your relative's motive. You're talking about "self image": could it be that he wants you to be like him (or, like his image of himself), or that he wants to be like you?



Would it be fair to say that you are already behaving well? You say that your peace is stolen and your equanimity robbed, but I'm hoping you don't fuel the flames, e.g. try to take revenge on him and so on. If you can stay untainted by misbehaviour, harsh speech and so on even when he's making "cold remarks" then you're already doing well. This article for example claims that, "The satisfaction of leading a blameless life is the highest form of satisfaction that a layman can have".

I just want to add that "blameless" doesn't mean "holier than thou", which would be more self-image.



Anyway, to answer your question, "I'm wondering what Buddha taught on this?"

I wonder whether you might be interested in reading about "fame". That might be another side of the coin of what you're talking about -- i.e. being motivated by how we think others see us (and maybe identity-view too, how we see ourselves).

This search for 'fame' and 'lay' on Access to Insight finds articles that may be a useful introduction, or another perspective.



One more thing, is that your language includes the feeling of being "robbed" of your equanimity.

I think that's kind of a dangerous view to have; for example the Dhammapada starts with,


  
  "He abused me, he struck me, he overpowered me, he robbed me." Those who harbor such thoughts do not still their hatred.
  


Perhaps that should be contrasted with the Zen story, The Moon Cannot Be Stolen.

You wrote, "Sometimes I am mindful of it, and realize the attachment is there"; but attachment isn't only to "self image or sense of self-worth in life" -- an attachment can also be to a "feeling" (such as equanimity), so thinking of it as "my equanimity" might be dangerous.

And maybe you're treating equanimity like glass, as if an equanimity could be broken; instead maybe you could see it as more fluid, less rigid or resistant, perhaps more like water (an ocean) or air or fire.

Or maybe a traditional metaphor is of the moon reflected in water, if the water is troubled then the image is harder to see, but the moon itself is not troubled.