How Lord Buddha's Way Make Me Out Of This Depression! I don't know If I should ask this here or not. But I am depressed enough and not able to find a way to get out of this situation to live life happily as I used to do before. 

In my office I met a girl who is so stunning and met my expection which I wanted to see in my life partner. I then and there fallen in love with her without knowing anything about her life. After getting known by each other, I felt she also likes me. But something in my mind always ran than she is hiding something from me. One day somehow I get to know she is resigning and going to a different city. I asked her why she is resigning and leaving the city. She didn't ever told me the reason. She became very close to me and one day I asked her that I seriously think you are hiding something from me which I want to know. After requesting quit a few times, she told me that she is engaged and getting married to a guy who lives in the city she is going. 

After that day, I can barely eat, drink and even breathe. I love her with everything I have, I saw all my life with her, now I am lost. I am not finding any ways to live life happily. I feel like I lost my purpose of life.

Is there any Lord Buddha's way that can take me out of this situation so that I can live again.
What you describe is suffering. Intense mental suffering. I am very sorry you are going through this and will try my best to help as I once went through something very similar and it was extremely unpleasant.

The true cause of your suffering is ignorance. In short, you are under the control of a delusion right now and the only way out is through knowledge and understanding of this delusion. You need to try and see the situation clearly with sober eyes.

So what is this delusion? This person you are so attached to and yearning/aching for... this woman of your dreams... she is utterly unreal just like a dream. She exists as nothing more than a figment if your fevered and frenzied imagination. You conjured her up based upon a whole slew of endless cravings and yearnings that you mistakenly believed would lead you to happiness and now you are discovering it only leads to suffering.

So what is the solution? Simple. You have to wake up from this dream of her and realize that she is utterly unreal just like a dream. When you realize she is nothing more than a mirage... the fever will dissipate and the attachment will dissolve.

How do you wake up? Also simple. Meditate on her to see her for what she really is: like an illusion.

Some suggestions:


Is she a fixed and permanent thing that never changes? Has she changed even slightly over the course of your relationship? Or is she changing moment by moment?
Is she really as perfect as you make her out to be? Consider all of her faults. Really look at them and don’t turn away.
Is she really capable of providing you lasting happiness? If that were true, then why are you so miserable right now?
Is she subject to aging, sickness and death? Is she going to die some day? Is your eventual parting from her an absolute guarantee?


I think if you really look you are going to find she does not exist as you have been imagining her. That imagination of her is just that: pure imagination. See that imagination for what it is and wake up from your day dream of her.

I really hope this helps!



Here is a video of Venerable Thubten Chodron giving a teaching on the above in a much more eloquent and useful way than I can: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1aq1fpjEe0Q Please have a look and see if it helps.