Kakacūpama Sutta and Mistress Vedehika I'm not sure sure if this is opinion based or not but my question is. is it fair to judge Vedehika, poorly (and does  the sutta really do this). It seems like she was pushed to the breaking point (malicioulsly)  and is the lesson here that she is not really as good a person as was previously reported? After this account the sutta seems to switch from this perspective to the actions expectation of a bhikkhu and not a lay person.
I'm not sure sure if this is opinion based or not but my question is. is it fair to judge Vedehika, poorly (and does the sutta really do this). It seems like she was pushed to the breaking point


Well, simply by going with what's described in sutta MN 21, it doesn't seem like Vedehika was really that gentle and peaceful. Let's see her reaction the very first time her maid Kali got up late:


  “So the maid Kalı got up late. Then Mistress Vedehika said: ‘Hey, Kalı!’—‘What is it, madam?’—‘What is the matter that you get up so late?’—‘Nothing is the matter, madam.’—‘Nothing is the matter, you wicked girl, yet you get up so late!’ and she was angry and displeased, and she scowled."


And then what she did the last time being tested:


  ‘What is the matter that you get up still later in the day?’—‘Nothing is the matter, madam.’—‘Nothing is the matter, you wicked girl, yet you get up still later in the day!’ and she was angry and displeased, and she took a rolling-pin, gave her a blow on the head, and cut her head. Then the maid Kalı, with blood running from her cut head..."


Now whether it was a true story doesn't matter much for it was a simple analogy the Buddha used to really drive home the point of a very real issue for many monks:


  So too, bhikkhus, some bhikkhu is extremely gentle, extremely meek, extremely peaceful, so long as disagreeable courses of speech do not touch him. But it is when disagreeable courses of speech touch him that it can be understood whether that bhikkhu is really kind, gentle, and peaceful."