Explaining non-attachment to the very attached I've been told by someone close to me that my meditation and desire to let go are very threatening to her. She sees sense desires, ego and attachments as very natural and wholesome, and my way of life as a threat or a questionable choice at the very least. She's aware of Buddhism and renunciate ideals, but thinks the Buddha was an idiot for leaving his family and palace to chase nirvana.

This was the essence of an hour long conversation, so there's lots I am leaving out. Seeing that I was very cheerful after an hour long harangue only infuriated her some more.

Some of the more colorful comments here:


  You're like the cartoonist who draws cartoons of Mohammed and incites
  terrorists. By meditating all the time you are trying to be perfect,
  you're actually making fun of us who don't meditate and like our egos.
  I get angry when I see you meditate.
  
  How can you smile? Stop treating me like a child, you don't know
  better than me. I know what I am saying, the world thinks like me, not
  like you.


I'd like to put it out there for general comment, but my specific question is, what to do when Dharma is (un)intentionally violent like this? 

How can I help or at least not hurt these people in my life?

(I was reminded to ask this when I came across: Right speech in social situations)

p.s. Being a vegetarian I'm used to such comments from people who think I am trying to be better than them. It became less of a problem over time, but it's of a much larger magnitude w.r.t Dharma.
Sounds like your realization of Emptiness is not complete. Evidently, there are still some leftover attachments in you, specifically attachment to Dharma. Have you read Choguyam Trungpa's work? "Cutting Through Spiritual Materialism" comes to mind.

Have you worked with live Zen teachers or with higher levels of Tantra? Integrating Samsara and Nirvana is not a joke, and it is exactly simple but insightful women like this that were almost designed to call our bullshit.