Got made to feel grotesque today. I had an accident and damaged my knee last summer. Then it developed arthritis over the winter. For the last few days I have been in crippling pain. Today I went back to hospital and got told by three doctors that my knee hurts because I was fat. I left, crying my eyes out. I was made to feel grotesque and fat and ugly and stupid. I came home feeling so ashamed. I am meant to be going out to dinner with friends tonight but now I don't want to go out. I wonder if everyone looks at me and thinks the same.

Thing is, I have lost 23 kilos since I started trying. At what point does everything stop being about my weight? I am really upset now.