Enneagram Type 4 female, Type 8 male relationship Since the relationship page of the official Enneagram website for type 4s and type 8s reads like a cautionary tale, I was hoping to find some of y'all out there who are (like me) in this type of relationship.  I am married, with 3 kids, and let's be frank, the passion is still there.  But, that passion is and can be volatile.  We don't consider divorce an option, coupled with the fact my 8 has his anger firmly in hand (he is 7 years older), we are not physically abusive toward one another, but, emotionally, we find our ground tenuous sometimes.  I would love to know if there are more of our type of relationship out there, and if so, what y'all do to keep things cool, passionate, but not fiery.