Smash Burger's Veggie Burger. Don't do it. I've been a vegetarian close to two years. I do most of my cooking at home and don't really crave much in the way of meats or their analogues. However, I do miss me a good burger and, gods be cruel, I've never really found anything that hits the spot (save for one place in Denver). 

Knowing better, I suffered a lapse in judgement and stopped by a Smash Burger; I'm not sure what I was thinking, patronizing a fast-food joint, but I was on lunch break and I'd left my food at home. Their new veggie burger looked promising enough.

Six hard-earned dollars spent on Com.Plete.Horse.Fucking.Shit.

Essentially a combination of black beans, balls tons of salt, and breadcrumbs. Again, I should've known better, and I shouldn't be frequenting a place that only perpetuates the whole factory farm system, etc. etc., but seriously - fuck off for trying to pass that bland, bone-dry, uninspired pile of opportunist ass-fuckery off as respectable vegetarian fare.