Lord help me. I just threw out the rest of my stash. I’ve been tapering for two weeks now, down to 12GPD from 26 GPD. 

I had plans to continue… but I swear, something inside me, it just broke. I can’t be this person anymore. I can’t put this poison in my body anymore. I just want it to be done. Over. Forever.

I couldn’t have picked a worse time to do this. It’s unseasonably hot in my state. 91 degrees and we have no central air. It’s 81 in my bedroom right now. My sister has ordered us a hotel room for the night - which is supposed to be the worst of it.

I’m not in withdrawal yet. But I will be in a few hours. I’m fucking terrified. 

Oh God… can I do this? Can I really get through it? 

I am prescribed clonidine for sleep… so I suppose I can use that if it gets too bad. I have magnesium and vitamin c too.  

But despite all that I’m so scared. Please tell me I didn’t just make a horrible mistake.