I got through the holidays without any Xanax or selfharm despite the fact my parents scare me. Holy fucking shit fuck damn hell. That was horribly traumatic and anxiety provoking.

I was so fucking exhausted from social interaction and family time and delayed flights that I ended up dissociating so badly that I passed out in the airport and had to be wheeled to my plane. I honestly don't even fully understand how I made it home since I essentially blacked out. I never want to leave my city for at least several months. Just nope.

I don't know how I managed to get through it without Xanax or selfharm, but I did.

So yay. And thank goodness I am finally home.