10 months in to a 12-18 month healing process and I have to start all over. I shattered my femur. Had a couple surgeries, lots of PT, was starting to get close to being back to normal but was still in a lot of pain. Tried to push through the pain and my partner insisted I go to the doctor to check. Turns out that part of the bone didn’t heal and part of it healed incorrectly, causing damage to the underside of my knee cap. 

Another surgery, rebreaking the femur, bone graft, and new plates and screws. 

I’m back in a wheelchair and using a walker and have to start over basically and I’m having a really hard time. Logically, I know that there’s an end in sight, but emotionally, feeling like I’m a burden and useless is really hard to deal with. 

The pain is bad, the meds have so many side effects, I’m stuck at home and I’m throwing a big pity party today.