I feel like I've suddenly snapped to, after 2 mo on HRT and it's all suddenly become frighteningly real. I've been really calm about transitioning up till tonight. Probably so calm and at peace that it should have keyed off that something is up.   

The court just signed off on my name change and I spent about a half an hour on the phone with human resources at work today getting things planned out.   All of a sudden, around 11PM I have a full on panic attack and I had to ask my wife "holy shit am I actually transitioning?!"

Don't get me wrong, I need this. But I kind of feel like I've just emotionally checked out for the last few months, and now I'm walking back into the middle of everything.

Is this common or am I just especially neurotic?