This morning was really sad. He woke up late for work, so I got to see him before he left. (This doesn’t usually happen). We exchanged some really short pleasantries and he said he was off to work. 

5 years ago, 3 years ago...even as short as a year ago, despite the DB, we would have shared a really good, strong, invasive hug. He would’ve kissed me on the forehead and maybe the lips and told me to have a good day. I’d tell him to have an easy one. 

Today, he said he was off to work, hugged the baby, told him he loved him, kissed him on the forehead and told him to have a good day. I do love that he did that. I also hate that we’re here. 

Here:

He stopped having sex with me (probably because it hurt too much). 

I stopped initiating....probably because it hurt too much. 

He stopped kissing me, probably because it hurt so much. 

I stopped hugging him, because it hurt too much. 

He stopped touching me, likely because it hurt so much.

Now it just hurts. So much.