I'm willing to do anything. I'm severely depressed and need help been like this for waay too long. My birthday is coming up and its just the biggest reminder

I haven't been able to do anything. I have my vices so I ignore it for long periods of time. but I need help. I know I do. 

is there anywhere I can go to get help that won't be prolonged due to referrals? I'm not suicidal. I just want it to stop being this way. where I don't have control over anything