I hate how I just default to wanting to die and cry I was playing hardcore Minecraft with my partner and his friends. I hardly know them and I want them to like me. My screen discounted and I died which means I can't play in that world anymore. 

I don't know why I can't just react like normal, why I'm crying so much and why do I want to die..

I feel like this is the first time we really could have fun since he moved it, it's the first time he can play with all his friends and me and I just fucked it up

I know his ganna want me around when he plays but I will get borad or sad that I'm not playing. I'm not trying to be selfish I just really pissed myself off because of it.. I just wanted him to have fun.. the same fun he had when we didn't live together

And I know I'm over reacting and being stupid but it hurts so much and I don't know how to just be normal about it.