I just miss her. And it really, really hurts. My bestfriend took her own life 8 months ago. The grief goes in waves. Sometimes a month go by, and i try not to think about it. Then it all hits me again, and it's unbearable. I think the body and mind moderates the pain. It wouldn't be possible to feel this intense pain all the time. I just wish I knew that she is okay now. That she is somewhere better for her, but not too far away from here. And that she can see us, jeep and eye on us. A couple of days ago it was exactly 8 months since she passed. I went out for a walk, i looked up at the sky and i saw the northern lights and i saw a shooting star. I like to think it was her saying hello. She always made sure everyone around her was happy. She had a crazy magnetic energy, everyone loved her. That kind of energy can't just disappear.

I just needed to talk about her for a little bit. She was the most beautiful person in the world. She still is.