The INSIGHTS. Oh, god the insights this time around... I've been manic lots of times but this time seems different. Just seeing a LOT of things about myself that Ive never seen before. 

So I've been sharing them with my wife. And unwittingly scaring the shit out of her.   
Like the fact that I dont actually believe the same religious beliefs that she does or that I haven't believed them for years, but I've just been too reluctant to tell her for fear of scaring her. Which it does. She freaked right out. It was WAY too much for her to handle at once.

After a few days, I think things are settling back to a new normal, but my question is, where the fuck were all these insights hiding for the last 20 years and how come stuff didn't 'click' for the previous 10 manic cycles? Why now?

Weird. Just weird.