3 years ago on Christmas I made the decision to end my life. I tried a few days later. I failed, but it still haunts me this time of the year... 3 years ago I was in so much pain. I was grieving and and had many more unfortunate events occur (I could write a novel on it) and I got diagnosed with schizophrenia. I was deep into self harm and the mental image of those scars terrify me, I had lost all control. I attempted suicide by hanging, but a security guard rescued me. 

It's just that I associate this time of the year with my suicidal thoughts and always makes me go back to them. 

How can I get over this?