I keep trying but I find myself desperately trying to contact her It's been almost a year since we broke up, and I know it was for the better. We were both toxic, and she cheated on me many times, more than three times, and probably others I don't know about..

But she was there for me when my life was at its lowest, even if she hurt me. I feel like i deserved it and I just want to speak to her again to try to fill the hole in my heart if just for awhile.

I know I don't love her anymore, but I can't help but feeling like I did when things were good when I think about her.