Is it normal to be a self-loathing asian? I used to make fun of all the dorky asians who couldn't speak english. It bothered me that asians only hung out with other asians at school. It bothered me when all my white and black friends got bigger than me. I hated that I was inferior athletically. I didn't want to be associated at all with any asian stereotypes.

I realized that I wanted to fit in to the western world so bad and  despised everything of what it meant to be asian. I tried to hang out with more white people, talked to more non-asian girls,  worked out to not look so physically weak, tried to sound more American, wore more preppy clothes, drank heavily, etc. I actually did fit in with non-Asians but the motive to do it was based off hating my own skin color. Basically I became a twinkie.