I'm grateful for the moments of hope and serenity that I've experiened yesterday and today, even though both days have also had the usual share of brutal psychic and emotional pain All the usual crap that haunts me and makes me feel so unbelievably trapped, and for a time I wallowed in it both days...but I also moved in to my new place today, got some administrative stuff related to moving done, and generally feel ok with my self and my many faults and regrets, whereas this morning I was stuck in the pit of self obsession and morbid reflection!!! Staring at my tattoos that I hate in the mirror, like I have for 15 years, wondering why why why why the hell did I still get bad tattoos even after going through the hell of removal, how did I do this to myself multiple times??? The tattoos are just one "story", but it's a heavy one, and it makes me feel like I'm continually wearing tacky clothes, and I just never quite feel "right", but I'm accepting them right now. 