Now I know why people in breakups hate the holidays.  Here I am a week into a forced no contact order from the court and I completely get it. I felt somewhat strong last night then when I woke up I was just broken all over again. 

 I’m staying at my parents house and I’m seeing their Christmas tree, their star at the top. We were supposed to get a tree on Tuesday but obviously that didn’t happen. We had all new ornaments, it was going to be our first tree.

 Even watching Netflix scrolling through the shows just reminds me that I’ve watched almost all of them WITH MY PARTNER. I remember the stuff she would say about each one, which ones she liked, which ones scared her. 

 I so badly just want to drive over to our house and tell her how much I miss her but I know I can’t. Sorry for the vent I just had too.