Elder Spawn: Mama, there’s a problem with a movie and my diet.
ES: Well, there’s this movie coming out called Dogs And Cats? And they are putting the toys in the meals only at Burger King. But I don’t think I like Burger King food.
Me: Well, we can’t buy meals that you won’t eat just for the toys.
This is a follow-up to a conversation we had last night in which she marveled that she did not like McDonald’s food until they began putting How To Train Your Dragon toys in the Happy Meals, and hey! Of coursely she began to like their food!
Maybe I should start serving meals here with premiums. Of coursely she will start to like meatloaf and mashed potatoes!
A couple weeks ago the Elder Spawn and I loaded up the Family Truckster and headed up to Generic Church Summer Camp for a week of idleness and sloth.
Camp nursing is anything but idle. And I was at a small camp. But, from what I saw from the previous week’s log, I had it pretty easy.
My group was 12-14 year olds. We had a resident staff, counselors, four directors (three more than is typical, but that’s just how it turned out, and it worked out quite well) and me. My responsibilities were as follows: dispense medications as prescribed, administer prn’s for minor maladies, and tend to first aid needs. I saw my fair share of blisters, bug bites, owies, headaches/mild dehydration, a stomach bug that thankfully did not spread, a mild itchy rash of unknown provenence, menstrual cramps, an asthma attack, and a camper who was concerned because she had a few flakes in her hair. And let us not forget the kid who drank a dozen cups of ice-cold lemonade and ate ice cream and then suffered from a general twitchiness that appeared to be generated by a) cold, b) sugar, and c) hyperspasmodic 12-year-oldness. This wore off in a half hour and he was able to return to tweenage freakiness without further incident.
In exchange for this I received the following: room and board, free wi-fi that I rarely had time to use, a small stipend, and access to all activities for Elder Spawn and myself. We got to make duct-tape wallets, tie-dye t-shirts, fold paper bracelets, splash around in the creek, sing, dance, play games, and enjoy the woods.
Really, lady? You aren’t maybe thinking that having your two drop-kick dogs on retractable leashes wandering all over the aisles at Home Improvement MegaStore ™ might somehow constitute a safety hazard? Because I sure as hell am, and besides, if your precious angels can’t sit in the car for a half hour while you make your purchases, perhaps you should have considered leaving them at home.