It’s November 11th. I should have finished last night at 16,667 words. Instead, I went to bed with 25,151 under my belt.
The 50,000 word aim in 30 days has always been “do-able” for me.
I met the goal in 2009, though the ideas were very much stolen from another set of books.
In 2010, I wrote the ideas myself but had a lot of loose ends and half-written scenes. I didn’t finish the story, though a book was ‘done’.
In 2011, I used a lot of cheats to win.
But I’ve completed it 3 years in a row.
This year, I decided not to use any cheats. I use a # to denote the end of scene, as is common practise in manuscripts. I have chapters which adds 2 words every 5000 odd. I even have two-half scenes at the end; which I hope to include, but didn’t want to happen until later in the book. I wrote them in the 30 days, so I’m counting them.
I thought this year would be harder, and so far it is.
As Rachel Aaron pointed out on the forums, a sequel is harder.
As someone who’s currently finishing up the third book in her second series, I’m of the opinion that second books are the hardest, because you’re still figuring out the world and the characters to a large extent, only now, thanks to book 1, you can’t just change everything to suit your plot.
So I never expected to write 5,019 words on day 5. I didn’t expect to suddenly be ahead by three days. Yesterday, I wrote 5,925. And I’ve been keeping track of the actual time spent writing, to give me an average words per hour and and idea of how many hours it takes to write a novel.
I’ve been using a tag on twitter to do word sprints, where you set a time of say, 15 minutes, and see how many words you can write, and then compare it to others. I’ve begun running my own with friends and strangers who wanted to do extra ones.
This year I’ve also ended up with more people ahead of me (in terms of word-count) than behind me, which is rare. It’s an odd feeling to wake up and find people are 6-10k ahead of my own, also-ahead goal. Yesterday morning, one of my new NaNoBuddies in Aus (so it was the end of day 10 for them) was at 33k.
I thought after three years and having written the first novel, this would be more familiar. Not easier, but that I’d know what to expect. Instead, I’m wondering if I can meet a higher goal than the 50k in 30 days, and desperately trying to catch up with my friend who reached 30k as I passed 25.
If I can reach 30k tonight I might actually finish the book by the end of the month, reaching 85k. However, I’ve only got the next four scenes planned out and I’m aware of all the things I need to do about my new job, finding a flat, de-cluttering and packing for the move, writing my blog, practising driving, doing housework, working out finances and such.
NaNoWriMo is always one of those things I look forward to, although I’ve attempted just as many novels outside of November too. What I hadn’t expected was the connection with others, the ability to prove I can write 650 words in 15 minutes and the way a novel kind of makes itself once your make the world and characters real.
Just create characters, set them down in a place, and they will live.
It’s January. Last year, I did a 3/2/1 recap each month. For this first month, I’ll be talking a little more about my four focus attributes: space, legacy, emotion and practise.
If you missed my first post, head here to view my plans around Connecting with Space.
In July 2011, I was told that my Grandfather had suspected Dementia.
I won’t go into the massive details but he is the only male in my entire family I think has played his cards right, is a fully worthy human being and has done the best he can. He has the kindest heart and the gentlest manner, despite fighting for his beliefs; his mind has always been sharp and he loves to walk up mountains despite being quite old.
Legacy is finding out that I am like him, that I have some of that amazing greatness in my potential. I know of his life choices, his mistakes and especially the things he regrets but I think were the right choice.
As a Bardic student, I’m now learning the legacy of the Druids; the poems that taught of magic and emotions, and as a reader, the parables which told of the morals (Western) humans usually abide by. This has given me a glimpse of how much knowing the legacy and heritage of a belief, a label or an action can enrich an experience.
Legacy is important, and none more important to me than my own.
I want to know and understand my legacy – my family tree and the heritage of the family I’ve made for myself.
I’m looking at the genealogy within my bloodline; of the Irish great-grandparents, of the quintessentially English grandparents, of the French surname and of the Estuary English dialect I speak mixed with my mother’s odd northern pronunciation.
This is a delve into the past; of who I was made to be, how I got here and what possibilities lay within my veins.
I’m trying to bring that sense of welcome into my own personality; for nothing is more important than honour and hospitality in my grandfather’s eyes.
Unfortunately, I grew up miles from him and only one mile from other family members, who value educational terms, grades, money and… well. They said “That’s allowed then” when I told them my other half was studying Medicine.
This year I’m exploring the labels I’d always thought I couldn’t change, and deliberately adopting new ones through re-definition.
This includes the labels around being a student, a wife, a mother; all the things I hope to be. I want to really understand where my values are in how to treat differences (my family are generally quite judgemental), how to deal with emotions like anger and my views on non-violence.
This links to my third focus a little but essentially, emotional legacy covers my past labels around emotion like anger solves everything & weak people cry, and covers what kind of legacy I want to pass on to my friends, to my kids, to my friend’s kids.
I’m not yet sure how to go around this, except I’ve begun a journey along my thoughts of compassion over at The Phoenix Mind, which I’ll be updating each time I feel I’ve something to share. This will also cover the third aspect of my theme for the year; emotion a little too.
Finally, I want to continue the journey I began at 11 when I lost my faith in Christianity.
I want to really understand my choice not to continue with that path, to be able to explain why I’ve chosen Druidry, and to get my head around what I want to pass on to my children.
I want to understand the heritage of the land; this sacred isle surrounded by water and covered with history and mythology. And in exploring Celtic spirituality, reach out to the Germanic and Saxon paths which have influenced it.
Legacy is all about my past lessons and what I want to pass on.
Next time I’ll cover the aspect of Compassion and the emotional aspects touched on here in more detail.
It’s January. Last year, I did a 3/2/1 recap. This year, I’ll be doing a similar thing at the end of the month with my outcomes for month 1 and the plans for month 2.
For this first month though, I’ll be talking a little more about my four focus attributes: space, legacy, emotion and practise.
Practical goals such as budgeting, exercise, healthy food, exploring minimalism, keeping space for spirituality and sleep are interesting in terms of a student who straddles two bedrooms but no external house-space.
Connecting to Space is a major goal of mine this year, and covers my bedroom/living space, getting outside to explore the land and my bodily space; what I feed it, how I treat it and how I sleep.
My bedroom in my parents house is my only “me-space” – the only space which has my belongings in it. I think the cabinet in the living room has a statue I made when I was 3 and a porcelain doll which I wasn’t trusted to keep safe as a young child; but all my living items are upstairs; in this medium-sized room.
At university, it’s a similar story – one room holds a study, exercise space, ritual space and a bedroom, all encompassed within a room smaller than my home bedroom.
No wonder I can’t get rid of half the stuff… a lot of it would live in a living room if I had one.
So this year, I want to streamline, to minimalise, to find the right amount of stuff that will keep me happy but make my rooms pleasant and easy to find things in.
Again, being a student, I have a load of crap I won’t need once I’ve graduated (unless I get into the PhD in which case it’ll all be bundled up once more and taken to a new tiny study/bedroom –sigh–), but can’t yet part with as I’m still using it.
However, I’m looking at getting rid of the junk freebies from first year and clearing the floor space around my desk so that the carpet is clear and usable again (I like to dance and do exercise; both of which have caused injury as I’ve trod on a plug or broken something underfoot).
This process should then leave me a space to sit and meditate, a space to place candles and incense, and a space to just keep clear to make the room feel spacious. I can put down soft cushions or just put images on that part of wall and sit/lie beside it.
I’d like to set up a proper altar I can use for my pagan practise. And then use it regularly.
And I know nothing about this land; the plants which grow here, the animals which live here and the history of the areas.
I want to connect with the trees, to climb the hills and photograph the flowers. Once a fortnight will be my beginning goal; spend 30 minutes each two weeks outside, dedicating space to the outdoors.
Then we have my body; where food and exercise come in. I want to keep my brain going with knowledge and my mind healthy in terms of well-being; and then eat fresh foods and get the right amount of sleep and exercise. That alone can be a massive job, let alone as part of four separate foci this year.
I want to cut down on the processed foods; on chocolate and crisps, instead turning to healthier alternatives and getting my body used to gaps between meals. I want to get a good exercise routine going, and to keep my sleep and brain as healthy and effective as possible.
If you’ve been following my blog for long, you’ll know I’m both a fussy eater, and terrified of weight loss. I want to have energy and be healthy, but I mustn’t lose ANY weight as I’m still technically “underweight” according to the BMI measures and despite eating well over 2500 calories a day in chocolate, potatoes, marzipan, nuts and actual meals.
However, I am going to try and shift my unhealthy eating habits; but do so with a vigilant eye on the scales (once a fortnight). I’ll be making pasta salad and ham or marmite sandwhiches for lunches, re-heating rice (zomg, no!) and taking my own flasks of green tea into University.
– Protein every day, three forms a week (three types of meat or one meat, quorn & vegetable protein).
– Potatoes!!! At least once a week on average!
– Use up that crap in the cupboards!!!
Then in terms of sleep; get to bed by 10:30pm and TV off by 11:45pm. I have a 9am start on Thursdays this term; while my earliest was 11am last year; so those times may alter slightly as I’ll be waking at 7am.
So those are my goals in terms of space. Next time I’ll cover the aspect of Legacy and what heritage means to me this year.
As my word for 2012, connect, has four parts, I figured that gives me three specific goals for each; leading to twelve goals (either for the 12 in 2012, or for one a month).
In short, I want to connect in terms of physical space (room, body, land), legacy (habits, labels, potential), compassion (emotions, actions, biases) and practise (paganism/spirit, knowledge, energy).
As it turns out, there are thirteen; just as there are thirteen moons a year. I can handle that. I tried to put them into four groups, with three in each, but there were so many overlaps, I gave up. Here are my thirteen; together with the categories they come under.
I haven’t yet set myself time-frames, assigned months or moons to them; nor decided on how to go about all of them yet, but that will come in time.
Have a fantastic new year, good luck with your plans and I’ll see you on the other side.
Last post I spoke about Strength, my word for 2011 and how I’ve found the journey through it. Let’s get onto the coming year.
What do I plan for 2012?
Sonja posted last week about her plans for 2012: with four main focuses and some discussion about what has brought her to decide on those. I began the three subgroups of food, exercise and spiritual energy for my 2011 word of the year, strength, and that really worked for me, so I’m following this inspiration again this year.
I read Sonja’s words on minimalism, on how she keeps forgetting and losing things; feeling rushed. As I read her post, I felt that little ember in me alight. I still want that freedom.
I also remember one where she photographed and listed all 75 items she owned and lived on happily at camp.
And really, there’s nothing stopping me.
I’m at university in Brighton; the same room I’ve lived in for three years; thus it has a lot more than one years accumulation. I take home clothes, make-up, notes, books and electrical items; then I go home and have more than the same amount again in my room, ignoring the crap in the loft.
I did a major clothes purge around 2 years ago, back when I was writing at Pagan Wings. I got rid of over 150 items of clothing. Yet I still/now have probably 300 items of clothes and I except only 150 of them fit me properly/ actually get worn. The idea of trying to juggle selling them on ebay- having to lug them to campus then to the post office and weight them and buy packing tape and boxes/bags? It’s a lot to handle when you don’t have a simple 9-5 job that ends each evening.
I intend to read a few specific books in the hopes of lowering my book numbers… currently holding over 186 books in my bedroom at home not including library and borrowed books… and then a further 46 on my uni shelf and a few more dotted around my uni room. I’m currently part way through.. well. Probably 50 of the,. Dianne Sylvan went through all her part-read books and listed them, which I intend to do also as part of this aspect of the new year.
As I visited Maiden castle, Old Sarum andStonehenge I began to see the history of this ancient land. As I listen to Damh the Bard speaking in our rituals; as I take part in more ritual myself and continue through my bardic grade; I remember those years of my teens where I shunned everything on the principal that I didn’t know who I was, thus couldn’t be anyone; couldn’t be X’s friend or Y’s enemy..
The difference in my acceptance now; is that I create myself every day and that’s okay.
I intend to read a few key texts for this including: Spirits of the Sacred Grove, The Celestine Vision, Women Who Run With The Wolves, Pagan in the City, Wights and Ancestors, and The Bond Between Women.
These cover Compassion, Integration, Strength, Women, Paganism, Ancestors and Loyalty.
Again, inspired by the last six months where I ‘saw red’ for the first time in my life, began anger management, self-initiated on the druid path (the peacemakers…) and began to understand this feeling of nonviolence towards every human, who is suffering in their own way.
Much connected to the aspect of “no me without my anger” I’m exploring; I’ve begun to see this world which doesn’t require you to be an idiot – I see people running businesses based on love, who are learning to respect their capacity and to own their own experience; who are successful in this world I was always taught was cruel, dangerous and angry.
My family = angry/passive aggressive and doormat – my own experiences until I left home were danger/fear/dominated. I’m now 21, choose meditation and dance over karate and am no longer terrified that every man with blue eyes is him.
I intend to read a few key texts including: Nonviolent Communication, The Gentle Art of Verbal Self-Defence, A Complaint Free World, Start Where You Are and How to Practise.
These cover Buddhism, Complaining, Violence, Patience, Words and The Dalai Lama’s words.
This is for reaching the potential attributes I’ve wanted since I was a young child; the inspiration I found in Power Rangers, in Lara Croft and in the fascination with native American Medicine Women.
This connects knowledge with practise; all that scholarary seeking, the sensing of trees and the energy of my own aura; in connecting with me as Forestwife, Susan from the Hogfather, Lara Croft, Myrina in The Moon Riders, and Lyra in the Dark Materials Trilogy.
This will include watching a lot of knowledge-based shows like Horizon and QI and some exercise-based stuff like flexibility and arm strength focuses.
This strong, skilled, scholar of a woman who is knowledgeable; who has worth without needing to prove it.
A woman who can ‘practise herself’ – who casts magic and offers healing; who is kind, stable and understands the land and its plants and creatures. I can see my potential as advisor, healer and practitioner; but though I find myself less afraid and upset of being lost; I am lost nonetheless.
Connection with practise, with the land, with people and with other animals and plants is my final step.
Rewire Your Brain, The Quantum and the Lotus, The Tenth Insight, In Search of Schrodinger’s Cat, Irish Spirit, The Field, Oscar’s Books, The Quiet, and City Dharma.
One thing I’m learning about being a scholar is that it never ends. I come home and research, read or watch a programme where I’m learning. I love that aspect, but it does mean I can’t foresee being able to do other things ‘after hours’ as there’s almost no such thing.
I want to sing, to dance, to read, write, express. I want to write poems and songs, to dance and exercise; to be flexible and to be caring. I want to be kind. Inherently.
I want to CONNECT – to the people around me, to the land I live with, to the spirit I believe in. To Compassion.
Earth and land (nature/practise), water (emotion/compassion), and air (knowledge/scholar).
This year I want to connect. With my space (minimalism and spirit), with myself (legacy and land), with compassion (people and peace) and with practise (knowledge and worth).
Really, they’re all about me: my space and values, my heritage and spirituality, my emotions and labels and my potential.
And an important distinction in this is that connecting requires disconnecting. I can get back on my minimalist journey in order to connect more; losing items and objects. Despite counting online friends in my connecting – blogging, tweeting, facebook messages and online messenger conversations; sometimes the laptop will switch off and I will go for walks in nature.
And in spite of that, I’ll also sometimes turn to reading my Gwersi in my bedroom, alone; meditating and practising ritual.
On Saturday morning my partner’s mother commented on how “meek” I was five years ago when she first met me, and on how much of the world I’ve seen; how I’ve embraced it; how I’ve come out of my shell.
I intend to continue that in the coming year.
Merry Christmas, Blessed Yuletide and have a Wonderful New Year.