Since injury well over two years ago, I have struggled to become more fully active without hurting myself. In other words, how do I use myself intelligently given my current condition of self?
My Osteopathic doctor recommended that I only run on softer surfaces. The beach in Kauai, where I can run barefoot with ease, is ideal, but since I don’t live in Kauai…. Although I respect, value and deeply appreciate my excellent Osteopathic doctor, and have every intention of using myself well in all circumstances, I just have to experience the exhilaration of a morning hill run with all the bird songs and fresh breezes from Puget Sound, as well as the resulting endorphins that inform the rest of my day.
So, what do I do? I go out for my morning run with a request for an overall elastic response to the ground. I intend for my breath and my use to be mutually supportive. As my breath proceeds through my entire length of spinal curves, my legs release into the ground, and all impact translates in a spiral up and out of my head. Running becomes an experience of invisible effort and spiraling ease. I pay attention to any pain signals and walk when running is not easy. I listen with joy to the morning bird songs, enjoy the breezes from Puget Sound, become a rhythm, and discover a new narrative beyond previous experience.
Balancing urgency for activity with current conditions of self is an ongoing exploration.
During recent morning hill runs, I have begun to notice inflammation pain signals in my left foot again, after many months of reprieve from same. Past experience of this indicates a disruption in my overall elastic response to the ground, and a potential challenge with increased demand in activity. It is of interest that foot pain diminishes while I am teaching (when my use of self is at its hopeful best), but increases with vigorous walking or running. Thus, I will sadly hold off on morning runs until I can see my Osteopathic physician for assistance in structural integrity.
The ongoing consequences of patella fracture thus continue. The challenge for me is to not push beyond current limits of self (end-gain), to use my self with dynamic non-interference (attend to the whole picture rather than parts), and to allow time, once again, so that I can explore desired activities with good use and an elastic response. Do I like having to take time again? No, not in the least! But taking time is clearly necessary. More lessons to be learned!