In order to examine this situation in a contemporary New Zealand care setting, in-depth qualitative interviews were held with twelve home-based partners of RCF residents, and three focus groups comprised of sixteen RCF staff were held across Otago and Southland. A thematic analysis revealed that grief and loss was a significant factor for partners, and finding ways to maintain connections with their partner within the RCF setting was as a way to manage this in a practical way. Continuing to offer aspects of care, having privacy to talk with their partner and being able to maintain physical proximity and closeness, for example, by occasional bed- sharing, was valued highly by partners as an important way to continue an intimate connection. Whilst many staff recognised grief responses, ways to maintain intimacy and connection and the needs of later- life relationships were not well understood. Privacy requirements were commonly interpreted as associated with sexual behaviour rather than with intimacy and connection, which then raised concerns about surveillance and protection which were not confirmed by the data from partners. In general staff found it difficult to assess the intimacy and sexuality needs for RCF residents and community- based partners and therefore to consider this aspect of care.