I feel like I don’t have enough time.
I don’t know that I have any fresh insights to offer on this subject, but at the very least I’m sure most of you have also felt this way at some point in your lives.
I didn’t have enough time this weekend, so by Sunday night I basically collapsed on the couch unable to do anything because I hadn’t given myself enough time to sleep. I couldn’t even respond to Facebook comments, that is how tired I was.
I think of what I’m supposed to accomplish in the next week, and I feel motivated and focused and anticipatory, and also how the hell am I going to do all that, and how can I squeeze in a bit more?
I think about what I can skip, and then I feel grumpy because I don’t want to skip that!
I’m supposed to take a vacation next month, and I haven’t even started planning it. I don’t know when I have time to plan it. And it will be a working vacation, of course, because my novel is running long and there’s no way it will be done by then, and also (hopefully) I might have another project I need to work on by then, and also there’s a bunch of people I want to see and a few touristy activities I want to do. But at least I won’t have to make huge piles of stuff to donate, so, you know, VACATION!
I’m also having to accept my current timeline may or may not be realistic. As in, it’s at least remotely possible that it isn’t.
So what I am noticing during this time of the busy?
The more I think about how busy I am (like while writing this post, for example), the more stressed I feel and the more time I waste. When I focus on the task at hand, I can actually blow through a lot fairly quickly.
I am even more grateful than usual for the generosity, patience, and flexibility of friends.
I feel more focused when I keep my top priorities clear.
I still have to find downtime, or forget about productivity and sociability.
It’s easier for me to move on from things that really shouldn’t be taking up my time. And that by itself is a huge lesson.
These efforts that are taking up my time are all very important to me, and that is an amazing thing to be able to say. Time is precious to me, and to be able to spend it in ways that are aligned with my goals and priorities is very meaningful. That’s why I’m not cutting out more until I absolutely have to.
I feel like I don’t have enough time. But what a privilege to spend my time as I am.