So I’m going to get Baptized at church on Sunday.
And I feel kind of weird about it.
But I think it’s just that my Presbyterian/Anglican roots are showin’.
I was baptized as a baby in the Presbyterian Church and later “had a religious experience” succumbing to an altar call at church camp around age 15. I decided then to follow Jesus and have done so, feebly, ever since. My feeble attempt at walking with the Lord has been often unconvincing to those around me, I’m sure. God has been my compass though since that summer at Jekyll Island when I moved from the back of the room to the front and accepted Jesus as my savior. Admittedly, even when He has shown me my course from time to time, I have opted for the bumpier, harder road and failed in my walk.
Over the last 3 years though, I have FINALLY learned to yield to his direction. FINALLY.
Yes, if you do the math, that leaves you with, oh, about 20 years of a half-arsed faith walk.
I’m a late bloomer. Things that come naturally to others, often don’t come so quickly for me. I have to make some mistakes to earn the merit badge. It’s not that I’m stubborn, it’s that I’m just not smart enough to do what I “should” do. So I often don’t follow the normal course of action such as Get Saved –> Get Baptized. It took me the better part of 20 years to actually start acting like I was saved so why should we think that anything other than this delayed reaction would be my standard operating procedure.
You don’t see Baptist up there in my roots comment do you?
When Gil and Lee, our dearest “couple friends”, were baptized with their Relevant Church family year before last, I was thrilled for them. I remember being at church that morning, two hours away, and being so grateful for what God was doing in their lives that I spent the whole worship time at my church in complete awe of what He was doing in and through them. And man, I LOVED being a bystander to the fruits of their faith. I still do.
But even then, the whole notion of baptism evoked feelings of, “that’s for them, not for me”.
But when Jesus brought Elevation Church- Space Coast Extension into my life at the beginning of this year I had just declared that this year was the year that I was going to dedicate my time and energy into “Going Deeper” with God. I was getting serious about it. Reviving the blog, working on my book project, being REALLY connected to my church (even though it has changed), and getting intentional about my quiet times were all a part of my plan. Anything that would help me “Go Deeper with God” I would do.
And wouldn’t you know that soon into the new quiet time routine, “maybe it’s time to get baptized”, became a recurring theme.
This time though, I couldn’t dismiss the notion though. I had already come to the conclusion that if it was going to get me any closer to Jesus, then I’m in. No Matter What IT Is. And in this case, IT is simply an outward declaration of a decision I made more than twenty years ago. I decided to follow Jesus back then and am just now making that declaration public. Shame on me.
I honestly still think the whole thing is cheesy and thus I’m still kind of dragging my emotional feet on the issue, but if God wants me to do it, then I will. I will surrender to whatever He wants me to do, like it or not. If it will bring me any closer to Him, then I want to do it. And, I know it will be good. It’s just that my roots are still showing.
I know that His way is the only way, so if He wants to dip me in some cheese, I’m all in.
Luckily, for me, He and cheese are two of my very favorite things.
p.s. If anyone can explain the TWO fetus pictures in the search I just did for a “dipped in cheese” image to me, i would appreciate it.
I LOVE IT!! I appreciate your ability to put what most people feel on a daily basis in such a great way!! Please keep writing I’m loving and relating to what you are writing!!
Thank you so much, Miriam!! Thank you for reading my drivel! I often come here, like today, just to help me process the weirdness and it’s always nice to know that it resonates with someone else, too.
p.s. you + me + october. k?
Oh, thank you Anne!! I appreciate you reading and really need to spend more time thanking Him for not giving up on me! I know I take His grace and mercy for granted and am so grateful that you gave me the reminder. As I go into the weekend and the baptism, I’m going to keep that at the forefront! Love you, my precious friend!
You will especially be in my heart this weekend! Love you too sweet friend! And praising God in all of this….
I just wrote about that song for the book, earlier this week, Gil! I hadn’t thought about it in the context of this weekend’s events, but will certainly listen to it on my way Sunday morning. 26 days!!!