November 1st. The day I thought I’d meet you. The day that the doctors told me was OUR day for over 6 weeks. We spent all week planning for your arrival, packing bags for the kids, finally installing your car seat in the car. We were so excited for this day. When we arrived at a friend’s house for dinner I received a call from what looked like the hospital’s phone number. I was hesitant to answer. I had a feeling of what they were going to tell me- and I was right. Our induction was cancelled because there were too many natural deliveries. We were to go home and wait by the phone. If we didn’t hear from them we were to follow up with our doctor in the morning. My doctor didn’t get a very happy version of me on the phone.
They rescheduled our induction for that night. We were thrilled. We decided that it was God’s way of giving us one more day with your brothers and sister. One more day to bond with you on the inside because once you’re out, there is no going back in. We spent the morning at Chick Fil A, the afternoon at the park, and the night at Olive Garden. I also had decided we were going to do whatever we wanted. And well, I wanted to eat my emotions.
We arrived at the hospital at 10:45pm. The pacing of the floor with tums in hand reminded me of what I’d been doing every night for months. I had a lot of time to think all those late nights with you kicking away inside.
Your daddy had a long day chasing the kids around as I threw the “I’m HUGE” card. (also something I had been doing the past month) So he was sleeping at this point.
From the time we arrived to 5:00am we watched nurses and doctors running all over the place. A lady had her baby in the bathroom. One lady came in and popped out twins. All this made it really feel like you’d never be in my arms!
Our induction finally began at 5:30am. I felt a sigh of relief knowing that for sure I wouldn’t be leaving the hospital without you in my arms. Finally all those comments of “you look like you won’t last another day” didn’t bother me. Because I wouldn’t need to last one more day!
I spent the day hooked up to Iv drips and baby monitors. I watched you bounce around and I dreamt about what you were going to look like. I tried to imagine life with you in my arms. I researched ideas for the cutest newborn poses with your siblings.
3:30pm came and they decided to “break” my water to speed things up. I got all ready thinking your arrival was just around the corner. Not quite. 3 hours go by and I have made no progress. They talked about turning off the pitocin and letting me take a break. I was still only 5cm. While I was pumped that they were going to let me eat, I was so frustrated. Why didn’t you want to come out?! My body had been through this 3 times over, did it forget how to do it?! All the questions.
6:30pm- The doctors decided they would try to break more of my water since I hadn’t felt anything before. Ladies. Let me be the first to warn you NOT to look at what they put inside you to break your water. Just don’t do it. She tried and tried and still thought she couldn’t get to any more fluid. She left the room under the assumption that I wasn’t having my baby anytime soon. And certainly not on her shift. I knew differently.
I sent Floyd out for a Chick Fil A run because I knew after over 24 hours of no food, I wanted me a deluxe sandwich and delicious waffle fries. As soon as he left, the pain came on like son of a b**** and I was left to figure out how I was going to make it through this. I asked myself questions like, why do you keep doing this to yourself? Why the hell did you get pregnant again?! Next time pay someone else to have your baby. Oh hormones can make us think some crazy things.
I finally decided the warrior life wasn’t for me. I had to get an epidural. I had to get out of this pain or someone was going to get punched. The nurse put me on the list, but told me that they were in the middle of shift change so it’d be a little bit. Let me tell you. EVERY minute you’re in pain like that, feels like an ETERNITY. Seriously.
There was this unexplained urge to push. It was like a monster was inside of me trying to fight his way out and I could not control it whatsoever. Floyd had just got back from his yummy food run and ran over to ask what was going on. He was so confused because all of us thought we were definitely NOT having a baby that night.
The nurse kept telling me to calm down and that I cannot start pushing without a doctor. In a matter of seconds, Floyd could see her head. Just when I thought my body forgot how to do this thing called Labor, it had full control and knew exactly what to do- the natural way.
One loud scream from the nurse to get the doctor’s attention, and there you were. A beautiful head full of black hair. Adorable dimples. A tiny little girl with a fierce cry.
Attempted Epidural at 8:10pm, baby Alexandria at 8:28pm.
A tiny ball of perfection.
Our hearts grew another size on this day. The day we welcomed our fourth baby. A beautiful miracle sent from God for us to love, nurture, and care for. We couldn’t be more thrilled and honored to raise you sweet baby, Alexandria. You are SO loved already <3 We gave her RoseLynne for her Step Grandmother in heaven. Lynne took her life in June 2017. Now her legacy lives on through baby Alexandria.