Now that I have been maintaining an actual house for almost two months, I have one or two observations. Namely: this is hard!
Don’t get me wrong. I love having an actual house with a yard and everything. Having no one live above me or below me or sharing walls with me is a relief and a luxury that I am treasuring. However. Despite living in a home that is the size of a large apartment, keeping it in a regular state of cleanliness is a challenge for which five years in New York City could not and did not prepare me.
Come the weekends, we have to address whether we will be doing anything for the yards and surrounding grassy areas. There are weeds and other annoying things that grow without our consent. I do not mow the lawns. I do not mow, period. Thankfully my dude is more than capable and willing to take on this chore. But I had noticed that the exterior of the house was utterly filthy and took it upon myself to grab the hose with its somewhat power-washer spray nozzle and give the front porch, back deck and sides of the house a thorough water scrubdown. I don’t care if the Internet underlines that word in red, by the way. I’m using it as a singular word.
Now. I took a solid hour of using blasting cold water to remove I don’t know how many spiders and their webs, dirt, dust, grime, and flora debris from the porch, deck, steps and side of the house. However, I have two enemies that no amount of spraying will alleviate, as I discovered immediately after completing this outdoor chore.
It’s like a very small golden delicious apple, except nastier looking. As you can see, they rot easily and when they are opened, the fruit part turns into that black mess you see at the bottom there. Gross.
If you think it’s annoying to deal with more than one photo of walnuts, try dealing with this on your property 24/7. They not only never stop falling off the tree and make it difficult to walk a straight line in the yard, but the squirrels are mad for them. Enter Enemy #2.
I have no clue if there is actually anything to do about this problem. And as far as problems go, it’s pretty low on the Must-Do-Something-About-This scale. But goddamn if it’s not annoying as hell. They’re making me look like I hoard walnut poop. Let’s face it, that’s what it looks like. I don’t want to be one of those people who eventually turns a blind eye to it and then starts bringing it into my home and piling it into every corner and I start calling it my Precious. Hmm. Sounds like I need to watch less Hoarders.
Luckily, it’s autumn and I know that the leaves and walnuts are supposed to be falling off the tree and that come winter, I will have less of this issue to deal with, especially if we get snow. Please God, let’s have lots of snow.
But I am keeping an eye on these little buggers.
My dog would love nothing more than to dine on squirrel any given day of the week. The photo below of Lucas is perfect because he looks so incredibly Wile E. Coyote. I can only hope that the similarity ends with his looks and that execution wise, his high prey drive will actually teach these little porch-ruiners a lesson.