As I thought about this friend’s speaking ministry and the message of her book, How I Survived the Killing Fields: A Story of Hope, Love and Determination, it is about resilience. And I see this quality so evidenced in her life.
She could have chosen a lifetime of bitterness. She could have made the choice not to forgive her captors. She could still be wallowing in self-pity after her horrific experiences.
Instead she speaks with a joyful spirit and and “I-trust-in-God” attitude to others going through hard times to let them know that they can be resilient as she has been.
As I read these, I realized that over time with God’s help I have gained the quality of resilience, and as Sara said letting go of bitterness has been key.
As I looked back over hard times, I realized that if a trauma or tragedy happened, and I felt I couldn’t let go of it, dealing with unforgiveness toward those involved blocked the path of bouncing back. Once I determined with God’s help to forgive and let go of bitterness, I saw myself thriving despite adversity.
Another key to Sara’s survival and mine and our developing resilience is holding onto God. Instead of backing off from God during hard times, we’ve learned to draw close to Him and receive strength from Him. We’ve learned to trust God no matter what difficulties life brings.
Thinking of resilience over these recent weeks, two people who would not let go of bitterness and who were unable to bounce back came to mind.
One is a man who said to me, “I haven’t been able to get over the fact that my wife was killed by a drunk driver.” When I met the man he seemed distraught, depressed, and unable to function. I thought that the trauma had happened recently.
After speaking to him for a little while I discovered he was unable to forgive the drunk driver who killed his wife. I communicated that if he could forgive, he would be able to move on.
That day I found out that her daughter had died thirty years before. I encouraged her to forgive God, and days later I prayed with her to receive Jesus as her Savior. She died not too long after.
God wants to give each of us the gift of resilience. If we don’t receive it, we will be unable to fully answer God’s call on our lives. We will become immobilized instead of immovable.