I've been fumbling the last couple of weeks. Not sure what is best to share with you. I started concentrating on what you would like to read and not on what is mine to share. I had to refresh myself on the motivation behind ZenDitty. Here it is. Remember the Reiki session I told you about? The one where I unleashed my stress and fear and quilt and exhaustion? Through my tears I wrote. I wrote a lot. I wrote about how I wanted to help others not get to the point where they had so much to release. I wrote how I didn’t want others to know what it feels like to carry so much around with you, but I also know that many of you already know that heaviness in your heart and on your shoulders. I was lucky to have had my big bubble of emotion popped after the deep relaxation and guided meditation that particular session had to offer. I believe it's because I actively pursue ways to take care of myself so when I was diagnosed with cancer I had a good foundation of knowledge and support. I belong to a wonderful church, I have great friends, I attend retreats and get pampered now and then. My desire is to open the possibilities to you. Those of you that want to actively work at making every day better and releasing some of that stress and negative emotions that are building up within you. I guess I feel a little self-absorbed talking about myself all the time and I need you to know that in my heart I need to share these things with you so we can all heal. That we really can add more love and light to the world if we take care of ourselves better. Someday I would like to offer you a retreat; a weekend where it isn't so much work to do this self-reflection and self-care. A weekend where you are the only priority, but for now I offer you that through this blog and I'm so glad you are here with me on this Zen journey. I hope the below posts speaks to you today…..
It was about a year after treatments began that I started having these moments. Amazing moments that are so beautiful, but fleeting. Even while you are experiencing them you know they are too good to last. One moment was when a beautiful sunrise stopped me in my tracks. I felt like it was my first. I suppose in a way it was my first and that’s why it was so powerful. It was my first “normal” sunrise in a while. The first I could just enjoy with peace in my heart and not distracted by life in general. Other moments were not so poetic, but still amazing firsts. Like the leftover turkey sandwich on Thanksgiving. Not sure if I was struck by awe of being able to eat one and enjoy it or if it really was the best sandwich EVER. The joy these moments bring is immeasurable but I find now I have to look for them harder. Most of our firsts have already happened to us. We can create new firsts. I suppose you’re never too old to try skydiving, but that’s not in my immediate future.
What I have come up with is simply PERSPECTIVE. Go out for a morning walk and look at the sunrise with intention. Change your perspective from it’s a morning sunrise to really seeing it as a gift. Every morning is different. Every morning is a gift. I know it’s near impossible for most of us to feel this way all the time but let’s try to create a little spark. Take some time, however often works for you and find something beautiful to take a picture of.
I'm starting to think that there are messages in our days if we tune in and pay attention to the deeper rhythm. Since our lives are so crazy and full of other stimulation we have to work a little harder at finding them. I was having a tough day, so I decided to go for a walk to try and shake it. That’s when this tree caught my eye. A tree with a big ol’ heart in the center of it. Coincidence? I like to think that I’m learning to tune in differently and I’m enjoying more of the gifts life has to offer.