In unpacking little by little what kept me stuck where I didn’t feel good, I learned about the patterns of self-sabotage that held me immobilized. Unsatisfied. Unfulfilled. Hurt. And confused. And I had to sit down, get real with myself to find ways to move forward into a new life of bliss and calmness.
I was struggling with ADHD and complex traumas - CPTSD. My normalcy was a never-ending state of self-doubts, self-judgements, anxiety, depression, codependency, unfulfillments ... you name it. I pushed away anyone who cared, and was surrounded by people who didn’t accept me completely. Emotional issues manifested in physical dis-eases. For years, I had daily stomach pains; I was exhausted all the time and, living in a woman body, experienced hormonal highs and lows that threw my life into spirals. At work, I was the dedicated sociable coworker who could connect with anyone. Yet I felt nothing like what people thought of me. I felt dead inside.
One day I decided that this could no longer be my life. I didn’t know how, but an inner voice told me that there were better ways to live. To move beyond surviving.
I committed to doing emotional healing, met people who showed up for me in times of needs, did a physical nutrition reset which helped me switch to a conscious and healthier way of life. Then, I got a Life Activation from my Guide in the Modern Mystery School and went through an Empower Thyself Initiation. I started feeling more grounded and more confident in my own body. The days of hardships get shorter and easier. I became able to lift myself up from the mental loops that used to keep me in pains. Using ancient time-tested tools opened in front of me the doors I was searching for, yet didn’t know were possible.
I did it because i didn’t accept where i was.
Now, letting go of what has been hurting, I am constantly shifting into a higher state of being and enjoying everything life has to offer. With a clearer and stronger sense of self and life values, I am able to return to my inner calmness and groundedness whenever I need to. And in healing myself, I remembered what I’ve always wanted to do since I was a little child: helping others heal themselves to be who they want to be and contribute to the world to their heart’s content.
It is through knowing yourself that you can find way to make the greatest impacts to the world.