I have my guesses. Therapy is not just sitting there, btw. That’s a naïve and tainted view, like if I said lawyers just argue for money. Also, quite a few psychologists do research on the side which is math/statistics heavy.
Both of the women I hired who just sat there said the little to no math part themselves.
I've always asked this question when I've been interviewing therapists, and when I was looking for someone a decade ago, I interviewed about a dozen. I'm sure at least one said something uninspiring about just having to sit there for a living, and I didn't choose that one. My T said that he returned to school in his early 30's to get his MSW (after many unspecified vaguely professional jobs) because he'd entered therapy and found it helpful to him. Later I understood some of his difficulties growing up in a not-too-detailed way.
I think it's a perfectly fine question to ask your therapist.
I'm not sure about my current T. At one point I made a comment about assuming he hadn't personally dealt with any of the things I do (anxiety, OCD, depression), as he seems fairly pulled together. So I wondered if he could truly understand. And he said he wasn't going to tell me what he'd dealt with, but said something to the effect of "everyone deals with something." He also said he feels that from having worked with so many clients (he's been a T for about 20 years) combined with his studies that he has a pretty good sense of what people deal with, what anxiety and depression can be like, etc.
With my ex-marriage counselor, I think he fits the idea of someone becoming a T to work on their own stuff. He shared very early on that he has an anxiety disorder and later talked some about his issues with his father. He also seems like someone who has a need to be needed.
R told me that whilst it may appear that he had everything together, that was only because he had spent years in therapy, and it was more than I had currently spent (2 years, 3 months so far).
He's said something before that made me think that he did get my depression.
I never asked. I think it's because she believes so much in that rather nebulous "process", she finds the human psyche fascinating and also I suspect a little bit that it's a way she gets to never leave therapy. It's a spiritual practice for her, she has said in the past.
It's a spiritual practice for her, she has said in the past.
That's an interesting way to put it. I wonder if she means that it is more a "calling" for her than a job. I think about my work in this way, not because any religious entity has called me to do it in some super special way, but because I believe I am right for my work and it is right for me, in some way that goes beyond having an unusual specialty or niche that fits. I don't think this is unusual for people in the helping professions (or not). My T is a very spiritual person, but I don't think he would identify with this.
1st Therapist: Started with an education degree and moved into counseling. Ended up has director of counseling eventually for my university.
2nd Therapist: Started as a theologian and pastor for a major denomination. As he started working with church members, he saw a need for more training and skill in working with members dealing with their mental health needs. He went back to school to add a degree in counselling, etc.
3rd Therapist: He told me the story that he started college as a business major (if I remember right). One weekend, he helped his best friend's mother move from one office to another; she happened to be a psychologist. He started talking to her about it and became fascinated by the topic . . . and the rest was history.
He didn't tell why he became a therapist but he has told me that this is his chosen profession and that he loves the work.
After reading Lonesome's post, I wonder how my T's needs played into his decision to become a T. If I had to guess, I'd say maybe he was the rescuer type, likes the power that can come with the role, or a way to get intimacy needs fulfilled at a safe distance.
These are all my projections of course, as he doesn't show his needs and they don't get revealed indirectly through his patterns either. It's interesting to guess at, and sort of fun. Lrad, do you have ideas in mind if you were to take a guess?