1. Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book, and does.
2. I'll hold your seat until you get there. After you get there you are on your own.
3. I'm not crazy about reality, but it's still the only place to get a decent meal.
4. Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.
5. Getting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough.
6. I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course.
7. I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.
8. While money can't buy happiness, it certainly lets you choose your own form of misery.
9. I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the curtain was up.
10. The problem with doing nothing is that you never know when you're finished.
11. Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted.
12. I must confess, I was born at a very early age.
13. Die, my dear? Why, that’s the last thing I’ll do.