Su Min: The year China's famous road-tripping 'auntie' found freedom
2025-01-05
Category: news

Sixty-year-old Chinese grandmother Su Min had no intention of becoming a feminist icon.She was only trying to escape her abusive husband when she hit the road in 2020 in her white Volkswagen hatchback with a rooftop tent and her pension."I felt like I could finally catch my breath," she says, recalling the moment she drove away from her old life. "I felt like I could survive and find a way of life that I wanted."Over the next four years and 180,000 miles, the video diaries she shared of her adventures, while detailing decades of pain, earned her millions of cheerleaders online. They called her the "road-tripping auntie" as she inadvertently turned into a hero for women who felt trapped in their own lives.Her story is now a hit film that was released in September - Like a Rolling Stone – and she made it to the BBC's list of 100 inspiring and influential women of 2024.It was a year of big moments, but if she had to describe what 2024 meant to her in a single word, she says that word would be "freedom".
As soon as Su Min started driving, she felt freer, she told the BBC over the phone from Shenyang – just before she headed south for winter in her new SUV with a caravan.But it wasn't until 2024, when she finally filed for divorce, that she experienced "another kind of freedom".It took a while to get there: it's a complicated process in China and her husband refused to divorce her until she agreed to pay him. They settled on 160,000 yuan ($21,900; £17,400) but she is still waiting for the divorce certificate to come through.But she is resolute that she doesn't want to look back: "I'm saying goodbye to him."
The road to freedom 
In her new life on the road, Su Min's duty is to herself.Her videos mostly feature only her. Although she drives alone, she never seems lonely. She chats with her followers as she films her journey, sharing what she has been cooking, how she spent the previous day and where she's going next.Her audience travels with her to places they never knew they would long for – Xinjiang's snow-capped mountains, Yunnan's ancient river towns, sparkling blue lakes, vast grasslands, endless deserts.They applaud her bravery and envy the freedom she has embraced. They had rarely heard such a raw first-hand account about the reality of life as a "Chinese auntie".
"You're so brave! You chose to break free," wrote one follower, while another urged her to "live the rest of your life well for yourself!". One woman sought advice because she too "dreams of driving alone" and an awe-struck follower said: "Mom, look at her! When I get older, I'll live a colourful life like hers if I don't get married!"For some, the takeaways are more pragmatic yet inspiring: "After watching your videos, I've learned this: as women, we must own our own home, cultivate friendships far and wide, work hard to be financially independent, and invest in unemployment insurance!"Through it all, Su Min processes her own past. A stray cat she encounters on the road reminds her of herself, both of them having "weathered the wind and rain for years but still managing to love this world that dusts our faces". A visit to the market, where she smells chili peppers, evokes "the smell of freedom" because throughout her marriage spicy food was forbidden by her husband who didn't like it.
For years Su Min had been the dutiful daughter, wife and mother – even as her husband repeatedly struck her."I was a traditional woman and I wanted to stay in my marriage for life," she says. "But eventually I saw that I got nothing in return for all my energy and effort – only beatings, violence, emotional abuse and gaslighting."Her husband, Du Zhoucheng, has admitted to hitting her. "It's my mistake that I beat you," he said in a video she recently shared on Douyin, TikTok's China platform. A high school graduate, he had a government job in the water resources ministry for 40 years before retiring, according to local media reports. He told an outlet in 2022 that he beat his wife because she "talked back" and that it was "an ordinary thing": "In a family, how can there not be some bangs and crashes?"
When duty called
Su Min married Du Zhoucheng "really to avoid my father's control, and to avoid the whole family".She was born and raised in Tibet until 1982, when her family moved to Henan, a bustling province in the valley along the Yellow River. She had just finished high school and found work in a fertiliser factory, where most of her female colleagues, including those younger than 20, already had husbands.Her marriage was arranged by a matchmaker, which was common at the time. She had spent much of her life cooking for and looking after her father and three younger brothers. "I wanted to change my life," she says.The couple met only twice before the wedding. She wasn't looking for love, but she hoped that love would grow once they married.Su Min did not find love. But she did have a daughter, and that is one reason she convinced herself she needed to endure the abuse.
"We are always so afraid of being ridiculed and blamed if we divorce, so we all choose to endure, but in fact, this kind of patience is not right," she says. "I later learned that, in fact, it can have a considerable impact on children. The child really doesn't want you to endure, they want you to stand up bravely and give them a harmonious home."She thought of leaving her husband after her daughter got married, but soon she became a grandmother. Her daughter had twins – and once again duty called. She felt she needed to help care for them, although by now she had been diagnosed with depression."I felt that if I didn't leave, I would get sicker," she says. She promised her daughter she would care for the two boys until they went to kindergarten, and then she would leave.The spark of inspiration for her escape came in 2019 while flicking through social media. She found a video about someone travelling while living in their van. This was it, she thought to herself. This was her way out.Even the pandemic did not stop her. In September 2020, she drove away from her marital home in Zhengzhou and she barely looked back as she made her way through 20 Chinese provinces and more than 400 cities.It's a decision that has certainly resonated with women in China. To her millions of followers, Su Min offers comfort and hope. "We women are not just someone's wife or mother… Let's live for ourselves!" wrote one follower.Many of them are mothers who share their own struggles. They tell her that they too feel trapped in suffocating marriages – some say her stories have inspired them to walk out of abusive relationships."You are a hero to thousands of women and many now see the possibility of a better life because of you," reads one of the top comments on one of her most-watched videos."When I turn 60, I hope I can be as free as you," another comment says.A third woman asks: "Auntie Su, can I travel with you? I'll cover all the expenses. I just want to take a trip with you. I feel so trapped and depressed in my current life."
'Love yourself'
"Can you have the life of your dreams?" Su Min pondered over the call. "I want to tell you that no matter how old you are, as long as you work hard, you will definitely find your answer. Just like me, even though I'm 60 now, I found what I was looking for."She admits it wasn't easy and she had to live frugally on her pension. She thought the video blogs might help raise some money – she had no idea they would go viral.
She talks about what she's learned over the years and her latest challenge – finalising the  divorce."I haven't got my divorce certificate yet, because the law has a cooling-off period and we are now in that period."One of her followers wrote that the money she paid her husband was "worth every penny", adding: "Now it's your turn to see the world and live a vibrant, unrestrained life. Congratulations, Auntie - here's to a colourful and fulfilling future!"She says it's hard to get a divorce because "many of our laws in China are to protect the family. Women often dare not divorce because of family disharmony".At first, she thought that Du Zhoucheng's behaviour might improve with time and distance, but she said he still threw "pots and pans" at her on her return.He has only called her twice in the last few years – once because her highway access card was tied to his credit card and he wanted her to return 81 yuan (£0.90). She says she hasn't used that card since then.Undeterred by the delay in securing a divorce, Su Min keeps planning more trips and hopes to one day travel abroad.She's worried about overcoming language barriers, but is confident her story will  resonate around the world - as it has in China. "Although women in every country are different, I would like to say that no matter what environment you are in, you must be good to yourself. Learn to love yourself, because only when you love yourself can the world be full of sunshine."
Additional reporting by Fan Wang in Singapore 