9a50bcf24dea0f3934df9a55f6e82df03c19c7cb
movie
http://www.imsdb.com/scripts/Wag-the-Dog.html
Wag the Dog
OCTOBER , 1996
 The President of the United States is caught making advances on an underage "Firefly Girl" less than two weeks before Election Day. Conrad Brean (De Niro), a top-notch spin doctor, is brought in to take the public's attention away from the scandal. He decides to construct a diversionary war with Albania, hoping the media will concentrate on this instead. Brean contacts Hollywood producer Stanley Motss (Hoffman) to create the war, complete with a theme song and fake film footage of a photogenic orphan (Dunst) in Albania.
When the CIA learns of the plot, they send Agent Young (Macy) to confront Brean who convinces him that revealing the deception is against his best interests. The CIA announces that the war has ended, but otherwise maintains the deception and the media begins to turn back to the President's abuse scandal. Motss decides to invent a hero who was left behind enemy lines, and inspired by the idea that he was "discarded like an old shoe" has the Pentagon provide him with a soldier named Schumann (Harrelson) around whom he constructs a further narrative including T-shirts, additional patriotic songs, and faux-grassroots demonstrations of patriotism. At each stage of the plan, Motss continually dismisses setbacks as "nothing" and compares them to past movie-making catastrophes he averted.
When the team goes to retrieve Schumann, they discover he is in fact a criminally insane Army prison convict before their plane crashes en route to Andrews Air Force Base. The team survives and is rescued by a farmer, but Schumann attempts to rape the farmer's daughter and the farmer kills him. Motss then stages an elaborate military funeral, claiming that Schumann died from wounds sustained during his rescue.
While watching a political talk show Motss gets frustrated that the media are crediting the president's win to a tired campaign slogan of "Don't change horses in mid-stream" rather than Motss's hard work. Despite previously claiming he was inspired by the challenge, Motss announces that he wants credit and will reveal his involvement, despite Brean's warning that he is "playing with his life". Motss refuses to back down, so Brean reluctantly has him killed and makes it look as if he had a heart attack. The president is successfully re-elected and a news report about a violent incident in Albania is shown, but it is ambiguous whether this is a true event or simply a continuation of the fictional war.
The President of the United States is caught making advances on an underage Firefly Girl less than two weeks before Election Day . Conrad Brean ( De Niro ) , a top-notch spin doctor , is brought in to take the public s attention away from the scandal . He decides to construct a diversionary war with Albania , hoping the media will concentrate on this instead . Brean contacts Hollywood producer Stanley Motss ( Hoffman ) to create the war , complete with a theme song and fake film footage of a photogenic orphan ( Dunst ) in Albania . When the CIA learns of the plot , they send Agent Young ( Macy ) to confront Brean who convinces him that revealing the deception is against his best interests . The CIA announces that the war has ended , but otherwise maintains the deception and the media begins to turn back to the President s abuse scandal . Motss decides to invent a hero who was left behind enemy lines , and inspired by the idea that he was discarded like an old shoe has the Pentagon provide him with a soldier named Schumann ( Harrelson ) around whom he constructs a further narrative including T-shirts , additional patriotic songs , and faux-grassroots demonstrations of patriotism . At each stage of the plan , Motss continually dismisses setbacks as nothing and compares them to past movie-making catastrophes he averted . When the team goes to retrieve Schumann , they discover he is in fact a criminally insane Army prison convict before their plane crashes en route to Andrews Air Force Base . The team survives and is rescued by a farmer , but Schumann attempts to rape the farmer s daughter and the farmer kills him . Motss then stages an elaborate military funeral , claiming that Schumann died from wounds sustained during his rescue . While watching a political talk show Motss gets frustrated that the media are crediting the president s win to a tired campaign slogan of Do n't change horses in mid-stream rather than Motss s hard work . Despite previously claiming he was inspired by the challenge , Motss announces that he wants credit and will reveal his involvement , despite Brean s warning that he is playing with his life . Motss refuses to back down , so Brean reluctantly has him killed and makes it look as if he had a heart attack . The president is successfully re-elected and a news report about a violent incident in Albania is shown , but it is ambiguous whether this is a true event or simply a continuation of the fictional war .
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wag_the_Dog
Wag the Dog
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<head>
   <title>"Wag the Dog", production draft, by David Mamet</title>
</head>

<body bgcolor="#FFFFFF">
   <pre> 





<b>                                WAG THE DOG
</b>
                                    by

                                David Mamet






<b>10/14/96
</b>









<b>FADE IN:
</b>
<b>A CARD, WHITE ON THE BLACK SCREEN, READS:
</b>
            Why does a dog wag its tail?

<b>BENEATH IT, THE NEXT LINE FADES IN:
</b>
            Because a dog is smarter than its tail.

<b>CROSS-FADE TO THE NEXT CARD, WHICH READS:
</b>
            If the tail were smarter, the tail would wag the dog.

<b>DISSOLVE
</b>


<b>FADE IN:
</b>
<b>EXT THE WHITE HOUSE NIGHT
</b>
<b>A VAN FULL OF PEOPLE STOPS AT A SIDE ENTRANCE.
</b>
<b>ANGLE INT THE WHITE HOUSE
</b>
<b>AT THE SIDE, UTILITY ENTRANCE, WE SEE THE DISGORGING WORKING-CLASS MEN AND
</b><b>WOMEN, THEY PASS THROUGH SECURITY SCREENING IN THE B.G., THROUGH METAL
</b><b>DETECTORS, AND PAST SEVERAL GUARDS WHO CHECK THE PHOTO-I.D.'S AROUND THEIR
</b><b>NECKS.
</b>
<b>ANGLE INT THE WHITE HOUSE
</b>
<u>WILFRED AMES</u>, AND <u>AMY CAIN</u>, A BRIGHT YOUNG WOMAN IN HER TWENTIES, WALKING DOWN
<b>A CORRIDOR, LOOKING WORRIED.
</b>
<b>ANGLE AMES AND CAIN
</b><b>AMES AND CAIN HAVE STOPPED AT THE END OF THE HALL.  BEYOND THEM WE SEE THE
</b><b>CLEANING PEOPLE COMING IN FROM THE VAN, AND BEING CLEARED THROUGH A METAL
</b><b>DETECTOR INTO A HOLDING AREA, AND HANDED CLEANING MATERIALS, MOPS, VACUUMS, ET
</b><b>CETERA, BY A TYPE HOLDING A CLIPBOARD.  PART OF THE GROUP, A MAN IN HIS
</b><b>FORTIES, IN A RATTY JACKET, OPEN COLLARED SHIRT, PASSES THROUGH THE GROUP,
</b><b>AND IS STOPPED BY A SECRET SERVICEMAN WHO APPEARS NEXT TO AMES.  IN THE B.G.
</b><b>WE SEE A TV IN AN ADJACENT ROOM, SHOWING A POLITICAL COMMERCIAL.
</b>
<b>                          AMES
</b><b>                    (TO SECRET SERVICEMAN)
</b>            ...That's him.

<b>AMES MOVES OUT OF THE SHOT.  LEAVING US ON THE POLITICAL COMMERCIAL.
</b>
<b>WE SEE TWO BUSINESS PEOPLE ON THE PLANE, A MAN AND A WOMAN.
</b>
<b>                          BUSINESSMAN
</b>            Well, all I know, you don't change horses in the middle
            of the stream.

<b>                          BUSINESSWOMAN
</b>            "Don't change Horses," well, there's a lot of truth in
            that.

<b>THE IMAGE SHIFTS TO A PRESIDENT, DOING PRESIDENTIAL THINGS.  AND THE VOICE-
</b><b>OVER.
</b>
<b>                          VOICE-OVER
</b>            For Peace, prosperity, for <u>all</u> of us:  Don't change
            Horses in...

<b>ANGLE
</b>
<b>A CORRIDOR OF THE WHITE HOUSE, AS AMES AND THE MAN IN THE RATTY JACKET (BREAN)
</b><b>WALK HURRIEDLY.  AMES FINISHES ONE CIGARETTE AND USES THE BUTT TO LIGHT A
</b><b>FRESH ONE.  THEY PASS BY A LARGE PHOTOGRAPH OF THE BACK OF A MAN, BENDING TO
</b><b>SHAKE HANDS WITH ONE OF A LINE OF GIRLSCOUTS.  AMES GLANCES UP AT THE
</b><b>PHOTOGRAPH AND SHAKES HIS HEAD DEJECTEDLY.
</b>
<b>INT WHITE  HOUSE "SITUATION" ROOM.   NIGHT.
</b>
<b>A WOMAN WITH A STENOPAD, ARRANGING PADS AND PENCILS AT A SMALL CONFERENCE
</b><b>TABLE.  A SECRET SERVICE TYPE PUTS HIS HEAD IN THE ROOM, AND BOWS OUT, AND
</b><b>NODS, BREAN AND AMES ENTER HURRIEDLY.
</b>
<b>                          AMES
</b>            We're going to...

<b>HE STOPS TALKING AS A WHITE HOUSE WAITER ENTERS WITH A TRAY WITH COFFEE THINGS
</b><b>ON IT, FOLLOWED BY TWO YOUNG AIDES, SLEEPY AND DISHEVELLED, WHO ENTER QUICKLY,
</b><b>AND APOLOGIES UNUTTERED, SIT AND MAKE THEMSELVES SMALL.
</b>
<b>BREAN MAKES A LITTLE GESTURE AT THE WAITER, WHO IS SETTING OUT THE COFFEE,
</b><b>AND AT THE STENOGRAPHER, MEANING "GET THEM OUT OF HERE."
</b>
<b>                          AMES
</b>            Thank you, that'll be all.

<b>THE STENOGRAPHER AND THE WAITER LEAVE
</b>
<b>                          BREAN
</b><b>                    (OF THE TWO STAFFERS)
</b>            Who we got here...?

<b>                          AMES
</b>            John Levy, Staff, and Amy Cain, Press Off....

<b>                          BREAN
</b>            Alright.  Look here, any of you kids hear in this
            room:  what you hear here, what you say here, what you
            <u>do</u> here, f'it got out, you leaked it.
<b>                    (TO AMES)
</b>            Tell'em what they need to know.

<b>                          AMES
</b>            When it broke, he said one word:  get me Ronnie Brean.

<b>                          BREAN
</b><b>                    (NODS)
</b>            Well.  Alright.  What is it?  What's, he, uh...?  He
            had an Illegal Immigrant, was his Gardener, some years
            back...?
<b>                    (SMILES)
</b>            What's the thing?  You people get ahead, you sure get
            nervous.

<b>AN AIDE ENTERS, WITH SEVERAL TYPED SHEETS, WHICH SHE HANDS TO CAIN. CAIN
</b><b>READS TO HERSELF, PASSES THEM TO AMES.
</b>
<b>                          BREAN
</b><b>                    (CON'T)
</b>            ...he made a pass at some Secretary, back in...

<b>AMES TAKES THE SHEETS, AND READS.  GESTURES TO BREAN, "ONE MOMENT, PLEASE."
</b>
<b>ANGLE INS.  THE SHEET, WHICH AMES HOLDS.
</b>
<b>IT READS:
</b><b>             AS PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES I REGRET THAT
</b><b>            PERSONAL INCAPACITY HAS RENDERED ME MOMENTARILY UNABLE
</b><b>            TO CONFRONT AND CORRECT....
</b>
<b>ANGLE
</b><b>BREAN LOOKING ON, AS AMES READS, AND SHAKES HIS HEAD SADLY.  BREAN TAKES THE
</b><b>SHEETS.
</b>
<b>ANGLE  INS.
</b><b>READING OVER BREAN'S SHOULDERS:
</b>            1.)  Statutory Rape.
            2.)  The President's long-documented mental problems
            3.)  Brought about by reaction to Drugs to control
            flu...?

<b>ANGLE AMES READING OVER BREAN'S SHOULDER.
</b>
<b>                          AMES
</b>            ...did he <u>have</u> the flu...?

<b>                          CAIN
</b>            It can be documented that he displayed the...

<b>BREAN LAYS DOWN THE SHEET SOMBERLY, EVERYONE LOOKS AT HIM.
</b>
<b>                          BREAN
</b>            This ain't the illegal immigrant Nanny.

<b>                          CAIN
</b>            There was a group of Girlscouts here from Indiana last
            month.  One of them expressed an interest in a
            Frederick Remington bust.  The president took her into
            the oval Office, for a period...

<b>                          AMES
</b>            Three minutes.  It couldn't have been over three
            minutes, the Secret Service...

<b>BREAN GESTURES HIM TO BE QUIET.
</b>
<b>                          BREAN
</b>            Okay.  And she's alleging...?

<b>CAIN GESTURES BREAN TO KEEP READING THE SHEETS IN FRONT OF HIM.  HE DOES SO.
</b><b>PAUSE.  TO HIMSELF.
</b>
<b>                          BREAN
</b><b>                    (CON'T)
</b>            Jesus, Mary and Joseph.

<b>                          AMES
</b>            We are virtually certain it isn't...

<b>                          BREAN
</b>            Who's got the story?
<b>                    (PAUSE)
</b>
<b>                          AMES
</b>            Don't you want to know if it's true?

<b>                          BREAN
</b>            What difference does it make if it's true?
<b>                    (PAUSE)
</b>            It's a <u>story</u>, and, it <u>breaks</u> they're gonna have to <u>run</u>
            with it -- How long've we got til it breaks?
<b>                    (PAUSE)
</b>
<b>                          AMES
</b>            Front page.  Washington Post.  Tomorrow.

<b>                          BREAN
</b>            Well, yeah.  Now.  That's not good.  <u>Okay</u>:
<b>                    (PAUSE)
</b>            <u>Okay</u>.  We'll set up the War Room <u>Here</u>...

<b>AN AIDE BRINGS HIM A CUP OF COFFEE.
</b>
<b>                          BREAN
</b>            Thank you.  Now:  where is he?

<b>                          LEVY
</b>            China.

<b>                          BREAN
</b>            When's he coming back...?

<b>                          LEVY
</b>            Touchdown, Andrews, fourteen hundred, today.

<b>BREAN TAKES A NOTEBOOK OUT OF HIS POCKET, AND LOOKS AT IT.
</b>
<b>                          BREAN
</b><b>                    (AS HE READS FROM HIS NOTEBOOK)
</b>            Alright, now, here:  he stays on the ground in China
            til Tomorrow.

<b>                          CAIN
</b>            ...why?

<b>                          BREAN
</b>            ...you the Press Office?

<b>                          CAIN
</b>            ...Yes.

<b>                          BREAN
</b><b>                    (SHRUGS)
</b>            Earn your money.  ...He's ill, the Plane is sick...

<b>                          CAIN
</b><b>                    (MAKING NOTES)
</b>            ...Good...

<b>                          AMES
</b>            When do we bring'em back?

<b>                          BREAN
</b>            You gotta give me a day.  I need a day.
<b>                    (PAUSE)
</b>            He's sick, get it out <u>now</u>.  Get him on the phone'n tell
            him how sick he is.  We got to get it out before the
            story breaks, so we aren't quote, responding to it.
            Issue is as a bulletin.  He's got some rare strain
            of...

<b>                          AMES
</b>            It won't hold.

<b>                          BREAN
</b>            All I need is the one day.

<b>                          AMES
</b>            It won't even hold the one day, Ronnie --

<b>                          BREAN
</b>            Yes -- It will... Now:  why is the President in China?

<b>                          LEVY
</b>            Trade Re1ations.

<b>                          BREAN
</b>            You're goddamn right.  And it's got nothing to do with
            the B-2 Bomber.
<b>                    (PAUSE)
</b>
<b>                          LEVY
</b>            There <u>is</u> no B-2 Bomber,

<b>                          BREAN
</b>            That's what I'm telling you.
<b>                    (PAUSE.  HE GLANCES AT HIS WATCH.)
</b>            The two things:  the two things:  Rare strain of flu,
            No Cause to Be Alarmed.  And the B-2 Bomber...
<b>                    (TO AIDES)
</b>            Clear me a space.  Get me a copy, go rob one, get it
            off the computer, Wash Post, N.Y. <u>TIMES</u>,

<b>                          AIDE
</b>            You want some research, flu?  Side-effects of medi....

<b>                          BREAN
</b>            Naw, we can't play this one catch-up.  That's how long
            since you stopped beating the wife.  We have to...

<b>                          AMES
</b>            We're going to have to explain away the...

<b>                          BREAN
</b>            They caught him in the closet with a Girlscout.  Side-
            effects of a pill ain't gone trump that.  You have to
            keep'em guessing for
<b>                    (HE GLANCES AT THE CALENDAR)
</b>            Two weeks.  You  don't have to Cure Cancer, Pal, you
            just have to give them something more interesting
            than...

<b>                          CAIN
</b>            What's more interesting than boffing the girlscout?

<b>                          BREAN
</b>            Well, that's what we're <u>doing</u> here...

<b>BREAN IS SUNK IN THOUGHT.  AN AIDE STARTS TO SPEAK.  AMES SILENCES HIM, BREAN
</b><b>BECKONS AMES OVER.
</b>
<b>                          BREAN
</b><b>                    (SOTTO)
</b>            Gemme twenty thousand dollars....

<b>AMES NODS, AND WAVES AN AIDE OVER AND WHISPERS TO HER.
</b>
<b>                          BREAN
</b><b>                    (CONT.)
</b>            And gemme a car.

<b>                          AMES
</b>            Car and a driver, Mr. Brean, the Westgate, Now,
            please...

<b>                          BREAN
</b>            Okay, look, who's takin' the press conference today?

<b>                          CAIN
</b>            Is there a press conference today?

<b>                          BREAN
</b>            What do <u>you</u> think?  What I need from you:  I need a
            base of operations.  Some place in the District.  I
            need some clean <u>money</u> ...

<b>                          LEVY
</b>            How much...?

<b>AMES GESTURES HIM TO BE QUIET.
</b>
<b>                          BREAN
</b>            And, to hold it together, I need two days.  There <u>is</u> no
            B-2 Bomber:  here's what you do ahout that:  whoever is
            leaking stuff to that geek at the Post, lets it slip,
            "Geez, I hope this doesn't screw up the B-2 Program..."
            "What B-2 Program, and why should it screw it up?"  "If
            the president moves to deploy the B-2 before it is
            fully tested."  "Deploy the B-2, <u>Why</u>?"  "In the
            Crisis."

<b>                          AMES
</b>            What crisis?

<b>                          BREAN
</b>            I'm working on it.  Same time, you call Billy Scott at
            Joint Chiefs, and pour him onna plane <u>right now</u> to
            Seattle, y'got that...?  All flustered and worried. To
            talk to the <u>Boeing</u> people.

<b>                          AMES
</b><b>                    (TO LEVY)
</b>            <u>Do</u> it...

<b>LEVY MOVES TO A TELEPHONE.
</b>
<b>                          BREAN
</b><b>                    (TO CAIN)
</b>            And you?

<b>                          CAIN
</b>            But there isn't a B-2 bomber.

<b>                          BREAN
</b>            Where'd you go to school, Kid.  Wellesly?

<b>                          CAIN
</b>            Dartmouth

<b>                          BREAN
</b>            Then show a little spunk.  There <u>Is</u> no B-2 Bomber,
            General Scott, the best of your knowledge, is not in
            Seattle to talk with Boeing...

<b>                          AMES
</b>            It won't hold.

<b>                          BREAN
</b>            One day, Two days?  <u>Course</u> it's gonna hhhh....

<b>CAMERA TAKES THEM DOWN THE HALL, WHERE WE SEE THE CLEANING PEOPLE, WITH FLOOR
</b><b>POLISHERS, LOOKING UP AT THE PICTURE OF THE PRESIDENT AND THE GIRLSCOUTS, AND
</b><b>SNICKERING.
</b>
<b>ANGLE
</b><b>ON BREAN AND AMES LOOKING ON.
</b><b>THE CLEANING PEOPLE NOTICE THEY ARE BEING WATCHED AND DISPERSE.
</b>
<b>                          AMES
</b>            It won't hold, Ronnie, it won't prove out.

<b>                          BREAN
</b>            We don't need it to prove out.  We need it to <u>distract</u>
            them for two weeks til the election.

<b>                          AMES
</b>            What would do that...?

<b>HOLD, ON BREAN THINKING.
</b>
<b>                          AMES
</b><b>                    (CONT.)
</b>            What in the <u>world</u> would do that?

<b>                          BREAN
</b>            I'm working on it.

<b>HE TURNS AROUND AND STARES AT THE WALL.
</b>
<b>BREAN WALKS TO THE COUNTER WHERE THE COFFEE AND ROLLS ARE STEAMING.  ON THE
</b><b>WALL ARE HUNG TWO WIPE-OFF SLATES.  ONE READS "DAYS TO ELECTION 12," THE OTHER
</b><b>READS "% IN FAVOR 63" BREAN PICKS UP A ROLL, DOWNS A COFFEE, AND STARTS OUT OF
</b><b>THE DOOR.
</b>
<b>ANGLE
</b><b>CAMERA TAKES THEM OUT INTO THE HALL.
</b><b>BREAN LEANS CLOSE TO AMES.
</b>
<b>                          BREAN
</b>            Gimme twenty thousand dollars.

<b>HE STARTS INTO THE HALL, FOLLOWED BY THE ENTOURAGE, AND THE CAMERA.
</b>
<b>                          BREAN
</b>            I'll be back within the hour.  Now,

<b>                          AMES
</b><b>                    (WALKS ALONG, SHAKING HIS HEAD)
</b>            It's going to be fine.  It's going to be ... you
            remember in 88, when...

<b>AN AIDE COMES UP TO THEM, HOLDING A VIDEOTAPE.
</b>
<b>                          AMES
</b>            What is it...

<b>AIDE WHISPERS TO AMES.  WHO NODS, TAKES THE TAPE, AND BREAN, AND THE AIDE,
</b><b>INTO A SIDE OFFICE.
</b>
<b>INT SIDE OFFICE NIGHT.
</b><b>AS THE AIDE PUTS THE TAPE INTO A V.C.R.
</b>
<b>                          BREAN
</b>            What is it?

<b>                          AMES
</b>            It's the rough-cut, the other side's new commercial.

<b>THE PICTURE COMES ON, IT SHOWS THE PRESIDENT DOING SEVERAL PRESIDENTIAL
</b><b>THINGS.  THE COMMERCIAL WE SAW EARLIER.
</b>
<b>                          BREAN
</b>            That's <u>our</u> commercial.
<b>                    (PAUSE)
</b>            I've seen it.  That's <u>our</u> commercial.

<b>                          AMES
</b><b>                    (TO AIDE)
</b>            Turn up the volume.

<b>THE AIDE DOES SO, AND WE HEAR MAURICE CHAVALIER SINGING,
</b>            "Thank heaven, for Little Girls...."

<b>ANOTHER AIDE ENTERS, SHEEPISHLY, HANDS A THICK PACKET TO AMES, WHO HOLDS IT
</b><b>OUT TO BREAN.
</b>
<b>                          BREAN
</b>            What is this?

<b>                          AMES
</b>            Twenty thousand dollars.

<b>                          BREAN
</b><b>                    (NODS, REMEMBERING  IT)
</b>            Yeah, I'm gonna have to go to L.A.

<b>INT BACKSEAT THE STATIONWAGON WE SAW AT THE WESTGATE.  GEORGETOWN.  NIGHT.
</b><b>AMES IN THE BACKSEAT.
</b>
<b>                          AMES
</b>            I'm coming with you.

<b>                          BREAN
</b><b>                    (SHRUGS)
</b>            Gemme a plane.  Business Aviation, National, one hour.
            Fly to Chicago.  O'hare, LAX 6 A.M.

<b>                          AMES
</b>            I'll see you at National.

<b>BREAN NODS, AND EXITS.
</b>
<b>HOLD ON AMES.
</b><b>HE HEARS SOMETHING, AND TURNS.
</b>
<b>ANGLE
</b><b>HIS POV.
</b><b>A YOUNG STAFFER, IN THE CORNER, SPEAKING SOFTLY ON THE PHONE.
</b>
<b>                          STAFFER
</b><b>                    (ON PHONE)
</b>            Tell him, well, tell him we, I <u>know</u> we just signed it,
            but we're going to <u>cancel</u> it.
<b>                    (PAUSE)
</b>            Because, because we're not going to be <u>staying</u> here the
            next four years.
<b>                    (PAUSE)
</b>            Well, I can't tell you on the phone...

<b>EXT GEORGETOWN STREET NIGHT.
</b>
<b>THE DOORSTEP OF A HOUSE.  A MIDDLE AGED MAN IN A BATHROBE, HOLDS A VERY LARGE
</b><b>MANILA ENVELOPE, HE TURNS, SOMEONE BEHIND HIM OBVIOUSLY HAVING CALLED HIM.  HE
</b><b>TURNS AND SECRETS THE ENVELOPE IN HIS BATHROBE POCKET.
</b>
<b>ANGLE
</b><b>IN THE FOREGROUND, BREAN, IN A TAXICAB, WHICH DRIVES AWAY, IN THE B.G., THE
</b><b>MAN IN THE BATHROBE, REENTERING HIS HOUSE.
</b>
<b>INT SMALL TWIN ENGINE PROP PLANE.  NIGHT.
</b>
<b>AMES AND BREAN IN THE BACK
</b><b>HOLD ON AMES
</b><b>WHO IS SHAKING HIS HEAD.  HE REACHES OVER AND NUDGES BREAN AWAKE.
</b>
<b>                          AMES
</b>            Tell, tell, tell me again.

<b>                          BREAN
</b>            ....we landing?

<b>                          AMES
</b>            Tell me again.

<b>                          BREAN
</b><b>                    (SIGHS)
</b>            Lookit, don't worry about it.  It's not a New Concept.
            Wake me when we touch down, will...

<b>HE TRIES TO NESTLE HIMSELF BACK TO SLEEP.  AMES NUDGES HIM.
</b>
<b>                          AMES
</b>            We can't <u>afford</u> a war.

<b>                          BREAN
</b>            We aren't going to have a war.  We're going to have the
            "appearance" of a war.

<b>                          AMES
</b>            I'm not sure we can afford to have the "appearance" of
            a war.

<b>                          BREAN
</b>            What's it gonna cost?
<b>                   (HE SHRUGS AND STARTS TO ROLL OVER TO
</b><b>                   GO TO SLEEP.)
</b>
<b>                          AMES
</b>            But, but, but, "they" would find out.

<b>                          BREAN
</b>            Who would find out?

<b>                          AMES
</b>            ...the...
<b>                    (HE GESTURES OUT OF THE WINDOW)
</b>
<b>                          BREAN
</b>            The American "people"?

<b>                          AMES
</b>            Yes

<b>                          BREAN
</b>            Who's gonna tell'em.

<b>                          AMES
</b>            ...but...

<b>                          BREAN
</b>            What did they find out about the Gulf War?  One shot:
            one bomb, falling though the roof, building coulda been
            made of <u>Legos</u>.

<b>HE ROLLS OVER AGAIN.
</b>
<b>                          AMES
</b><b>                    (AS IF REHEARSING IT TO HIMSELF)
</b>            ...you want us to go to War...

<b>BREAN ROUSES HIMSELF, SHRUGS, TAKES OUT A NOTEBOOK, AND BEGINS TO WRITE.
</b>
<b>                          BREAN
</b>            ...that's the general idea.

<b>                          AMES
</b>            Why?

<b>                          BREAN
</b>            Why <u>not</u>, what've they ever done for <u>us</u>...?  Also:  they
            sound... Ah, you see, this is why we have to mobilize
            the B-2 <u>Bomber</u>...

<b>                          AMES
</b>            ...they sound what?

<b>                          BREAN
</b>            <u>Shifty</u>.  Who knows anything <u>about</u> em...

<b>                          AMES
</b>            Hold on, hold on, hold on:

<b>                          BREAN
</b>            Well, I'm gonna hold on, but you went to win this
            election, you better change the subject.  You wanna
            change this subject, you better have a War.  What do
            you need?  It's gotta be <u>quick</u>, it's gotta be <u>dramatic</u>,
            you got to have an <u>enemy</u>.  Okay?  What do you need in
            an enemy?  Somebody you fear.  Who do you fear?
            Som'b'y you don't know.

<b>                          AMES
</b>            <u>Who</u>?

<b>                          BREAN
</b>            Well, I'm <u>working</u> on it....

<b>HE ROLLS OVER.
</b>
<b>EXT, O'HARE AIRPORT.  BUSINESS TERMINAL.
</b>
<b>A BEAUTIFUL PRAIRIE DAWN.
</b>
<b>THE SMALL PLANE FINISHES TAXIING, BREAN AND AMES EMERGE, A UNIFORMED
</b><b>OBSEQUIOUS AIRLINE ATTENDANT COMES UP, AND HANDS THEM TICKETS.
</b>
<b>ANGLE, ON BREAN AND AMES, AS THEY WALK ACROSS THE TARMAC.
</b>
<b>                          AMES
</b>            <u>Albania</u>...

<b>                          BREAN
</b>            Yes.

<b>                          AMES
</b>            Why?

<b>                          BREAN
</b>            What do you know about them?

<b>                          AMES
</b>            ...<u>nothing</u>...

<b>                          BREAN
</b>            Precisely.

<b>                          AMES
</b>            What did Albania ever do to us?

<b>                          BREAN
</b>            What did they ever do <u>for</u> us...?
<b>                    (PAUSE)
</b>            You see, this is why we have to mobilize the B-2
            Bomber.

<b>                          AMES
</b><b>                     (TO HIMSELF)
</b>            ...you want us to go to War with Albania.

<b>                          BREAN
</b>            Here's what you got to do:
<b>                    (HE GESTURES, "GET ON THE PHONE")
</b>            Get your Press Office, Right now.  To deny;  There <u>is</u>
            no report of Albanian Activity.  They have to deny it.
            Now, get the C.I.A.

<b>INT AIRLINE WAITING AREA.  DAY.
</b>
<b>EARLY MORNING BUSINESSMEN AND WOMEN, HOLDING COFFEE CUPS.
</b>
<b>ONE WEARS A CAMPAIGN BUTTON SHOWING THE PHOTO OF THE PRESIDENT AND THE GIRL
</b><b>SCOUT.  HE BRUSHES PAST BREAN WHO IS SITTING BY A MINDLESS TELEVISION WEATHER
</b><b>PRESENTATION ON A HUGE TV.  HE LOOKS DOWN AT HIS WATCH.
</b>
<b>                          ANNOUNCER
</b><b>                    (VO)
</b>            American Airlines Announces the departure of flight
            _____ for Los Angeles, will all Passengers holding...

<b>THE BUSINESS TYPES BEGIN TO QUEUE UP IN A SLEEPY LINE.  BREAN LEANS CLOSER TO
</b><b>THE TELEVISION, AS IT CHANGES TO A NEWS LOGO, AND A TALKING HEAD APPEARS.
</b>
<b>                          TALKING HEAD
</b>            Good morning:  With the election eleven days away the
            world slept, expecting news from the President on <u>Trade</u>
            and his visit to China, another <u>sort</u> of news, however,
            has emerged from the Presidential Quarter.  Chris
            Andrews, station KCRT, Santa Fe Reports:

<b>BREAN LEANS BACK FROM THE TELEVISION, AND PUTS HIS ATTENTION ON THE BUSINESS
</b><b>PEOPLE ABOUT TO FILE ONTO THE PLANE.  AS HE WATCHES THEY MOVE FIRST ONE AT A
</b><b>TIME, AND THEN, IN A GROUP, DRAWN TO THE TELEVISIONS.
</b>
<b>ANGLE:
</b><b>BREAN, LOOKING AT THE BUSINESS PEOPLE, CLUSTERING UP.  BEYOND HIM, WE SEE THE
</b><b>TALKING HEAD FROM SANTA FE, THE SHOT OF THE PRESIDENT WITH THE GIRLSCOUTS,
</b><b>WHICH WE SAW PREVIOUSLY ON THE WHITE HOUSE WALL, AND ON THE CAMPAIGN BUTTONS.
</b>
<b>BREAN TAKES OUT A NOTEPAD AND STARTS MAKING NOTES.  AMES WANDERS INTO THE
</b><b>SHOT, WITH A CUP OF DUNKIN' DONUTS COFFEE, AND THE CELLPHONE INTO WHICH HE IS
</b><b>TALKING.
</b>
<b>                          AMES
</b>            Top people.  Albanian Desk.  Well, <u>I</u> don't know either,
            but we <u>probably</u> have one.  Albanian Dusk, C.I.A.,
            N.S.A. roust'em outta bed, sirens blaring....

<b>BREAN NODS, MEANING, "GOOD STUDENT."
</b>
<b>                          AMES
</b><b>                    (CONT.)
</b>            I <u>know</u> they'll be in in an hour, get'em <u>now</u>...C.I.A.,
            N.S.A., wake'em up.

BREAN GESTURES, TELL THEM THE <u>OTHER</u> THING.     

<b>                          AMES
</b><b>                    (CONT.)
</b>            And you tell the staff, anyone leaks <u>anything</u> on this
            situation, his or her job is going to be...

<b>THE TWO ARE IN THE QUEUE THROUGH THE JETWAY.  THEY COME TO THE DOOR OF THE
</b><b>AIRLINER.
</b>
<b>                          AMES
</b><b>                    (CONT.)
</b>            ...General Scott in <u>Seattle</u>...?  No, I don't think his
            trip has got anything to do with the B-2 Bomber.
            Now...

<b>THE STEWARDESS INTERVENES, AS THEY COME UP TO THE DOOR OF THE AIRLINER
</b>
<b>                          STEWARDESS
</b>            I'm sorry, Sir, I'll have to ask you to...

<b>SHE GESTURES AT THE CELLPHONE.
</b><b>AMES LAGS BEHIND IN THE JETWAY, AS BREAN WALKS INTO THE PLANE, CAMERA TRACKS
</b><b>WITH HIM.
</b>
<b>BREAN AND THE CAMERA NOTICE A SMALL MINI TV IN THE GALLEY AREA, WHERE THE
</b><b>STEWARDESS IS SNEAKING A PEEK AT THE SCREEN, SHOWING THE PRESIDENT, GREETING
</b><b>THE GIRLSCOUT.
</b>
<b>                          STEWARDESS
</b><b>                    (CONT.)
</b><b>                    (TO BREAN)
</b>            Did you hear?

<b>                          BREAN
</b>            Well, I don't know, a lot of these early reports are
            inflated.

<b>                          STEWARDESS
</b>            ... could, could, could he have <u>done</u> it?

<b>                          BREAN
</b>            ...who understands Human Nature?

<b>ANGLE
</b><b>BACK AT HIS SEAT, THE WOMAN IN THE SEAT ACROSS THE AISLE TO HIM IS TALKING IN
</b><b>AN AIRFONE.
</b>
<b>                          WOMAN
</b><b>                    (INTO PHONE)
</b>            What did she say that the President Actually <u>did</u>....
            Well, who said it.  Her mother, or <u>Her</u>?
<b>                    (PAUSE)
</b>            He <u>did</u>...?
<b>                    (PAUSE)
</b>            ...and they said that on <u>TV</u>...?
<b>                    (PAUSE)
</b>            They used that <u>word</u>...?

<b>BREAN EASES INTO HIS SEAT, AND TAKES OUT HIS NOTEBOOK.
</b>
<b>                          WOMAN
</b><b>                    (INTO PHONE)
</b>            ...what time?  Two <u>Eastern</u>?  Alright, I'll.... Alright.

<b>                    (SHE HANGS UP THE AIRFONE.)
</b>
<b>BEAT.  SHE TURNS TO BREAN.  WE SEE SHE IS WEARING THE BUTTON WHICH SHOWS THE
</b><b>PRESIDENT AND THE GIRLSCOUTS.  SHE LOOKS DOWN AND FINGERS THE BUTTON.
</b>
<b>                          WOMAN
</b><b>                     (OF THE BUTTON)
</b>            ...what do you think...?

<b>                          BREAN
</b>            ...how can any of us know?

<b>                          WOMAN
</b><b>                    (OF THE BUTTON)
</b>            Makes you feel kind of foolish, doesn't it...?

<b>                          BREAN
</b>            I'm sure that's the worst of it.
<b>                    (BEAT)
</b>
<b>                          WOMAN
</b><b>                    (MEDITATIVELY, SHAKING HER HEAD, AS
</b><b>                    SHE LOOKS AT THE BUTTON)
</b>            ...a twelve year-old girl.
<b>                    (PAUSE)
</b>            ...and I was going to <u>vote</u>, for him.

<b>                          BREAN
</b>            Well, it ain't over til it's over...

<b>AMES SITS IN THE SEAT NEXT TO BREAN.
</b>
<b>                          BREAN
</b>            How's he doing?

<b>AMES SHUSHES BREAN, TAKES OUT THE AIRPHONE, AND STARTS DIALING.
</b>
<b>EXT POOLHOUSE BEVERLY HILLS HOTEL DAY.
</b>
<b>TWO WHITE-TOGGED POOL ATTENDANTS, WATCHING A SMALL TELEVISION AT THE CHECK-IN
</b><b>AREA.
</b>
<b>ON TELEVISION, SENATOR FREDERICK NOLE, A MIDWESTERNER, HOLDING FORTH.
</b>
<b>                          NOLE
</b>            ...if it <u>is</u> true, he should, he <u>must</u> step down.  And if
            it is <u>not</u> true, then he must ... we are informed he has
            extended his visit to China, I say, on behalf of the
            American...

<b>                          ANNOUNCER
</b><b>                    (VO)
</b>            Senator...Senator... we have to...

<b>                          NOLE
</b>            I say, on behalf of the American People, Come home,
            <u>face</u> the music, <u>whatever</u> that may be.  Th'election's
            in ten days, let the American...

<b>                          ANNOUNCER
</b><b>                    (VO)
</b>            Let the American People decide...

<b>SCREEN GOES TO THE TALKING HEAD OF THE ANNOUNCER.
</b>
<b>                          ANNOUNCER
</b>            Senator Frederick Nole.  With, excuse me, Senator,
            that's eleven days, til the election, And the president
            ahead in the polls by, Bob...?

<b>                          SECOND TALKING HEAD
</b>            Seventeen percent.

<b>                          ANNOUNCER
</b>            Accusations have surfaced, which...

<b>                          BOB
</b>            Bill, the White House has announced, that, in response
            to media pressure there <u>will</u> be a press conference
            in...

<b>THE TWO POOL ATTENDANTS STRAIGHTEN, AND PUT ON THEIR BEST SMILES, AND LOOK AT AN
</b><b>ARRIVING MAN.
</b>
<b>                          POOL ATTENDANT
</b>            Morning, Mr. Moss.

<b>STANLEY MOSS, A SUCCESSFUL LOOKING FELLOW AROUND SIXTY, COMES THROUGH THE
</b><b>TURNSTILE, ONE OF THE ATTENDANTS BUSTLES AROUND, HANDING HIM TOWELS.  WE HOLD
</b><b>ON THE SECOND ATTENDANT, WHO SCURRIES UP THE STEPS.
</b>
<b>                          SECOND ATTENDANT
</b>            ...I'll be right back with your juice...

<b>MOSS CALLS AFTER HIM
</b>
<b>                          MOSS
</b>            ...with a <u>carrot</u> in it...

<b>AS HE CLEARS THE FRAME, WE SEE, BELOW HIM, MOSS AND THE FIRST ATTENDANT, WHO
</b><b>IS GESTURING DOWN TOWARD THE POOL AREA, THEY TURN THEIR HEADS.
</b>
<b>ANGLE
</b><b>DOWN AT THE DESERTED POOL AREA.  ONE NANNY TYPE, WITH A YOUNG KID IN
</b><b>WATERWINGS, FROLICKING IN THE WATER, AND BREAN, AND AMES, WHO ARE SITTING IN
</b><b>POOL CHAIRS.  BREAN RISES, AND WALKS TO GREET MOSS, LEAVING AMES IN THE B.G.
</b><b>TALKING ON A CELL PHONE.
</b>
<b>ANGLE
</b><b>ON MOSS AND BREAN, AS MOSS APPROACHES A BIT TENTATIVELY.
</b>
<b>                          MOSS
</b>            Do I know you?

<b>                          BREAN
</b>            We have some mutual friends in Washington.

<b>INT POOL CABANA, BEV. HILLS HOTEL, DAY.  A CURTAIN IS SWEPT ASIDE, AS MOSS
</b><b>AND BREAN AND AMES ENTER, IN THE B.G. WE SEE THE NANNY AND THE LITTLE KID IN
</b><b>THE POOL.  MOSS AND BREAN ARE TALKING AS THEY ENTER.
</b>
<b>                          MOSS
</b>            And is it true?

<b>                          AMES
</b>            Waal, Mr. Moss, I wouldn't....

<b>MOSS STARTS STRIPPING OFF HIS CLOTHES, AND CHANGING INTO A SWIMSUIT.
</b>
<b>                          MOSS
</b>            You wouldn't be here if it wasn't true.  It's true,
            right?

<b>HE SWITCHES ON THE TELEVISION IN THE CABANA.  WE SEE A FEMALE TALKING HEAD.
</b>
<b>                          FEMALE TALKING HEAD
</b>            Sexual relations with a girl thirteen years old.

<b>THE SCREEN GOES TO THE PHOTO OF THE PRESIDENT WITH THE GIRLSCOUTS.
</b>
<b>MOSS TURNS DOWN THE VOLUME.  AS HE AND BREAN TALK THE TV SHOWS IMAGES OF THE
</b><b>PRESIDENT WITH GIRLSCOUTS, AND WITH OTHER YOUTH GROUPS.
</b>
<b>                          MOSS
</b>            And you're here <u>why</u>...?

<b>                          BREAN
</b>            I'm here, Mr. Moss, because you've shown yourself a
            great supporter of the Party.

<b>                          MOSS
</b>            Party's gonna need more than a couple bucks now.

<b>THE POOL ATTENDANT ENTERS WITH A TRAY ON WHICH IS A GLASS WITH LIQUID AND A
</b><b>CARROT STICK IN IT, AND A GLASS FULL OF CELERY STICKS.
</b>
<b>                          MOSS
</b>            Back where I come from they call this Romeo in Joliet.
<b>                    (HE SHAKES HIS HEAD, REACHES ONTO A
</b><b>                    SMALL TABLE BEHIND HIM, AND PICKS UP A
</b><b>                    BOOK.)
</b>            I, I, and y'know, I <u>like</u> the guy... he signed his
            <u>book</u> to me....

<b>HE HOLDS THE BOOK TO BREAN, THE CAMERA SEES THE PHOTO OF THE PRESIDENT ON THE
</b><b>BACK COVER, THE FRONT COVER READS.
</b>
<b>            ".... FOR TWO GENERATIONS TO AGREE."
</b>
<b>MOSS LOOKS DOWN AT THE BOOK, AND QUOTES
</b>
<b>                          MOSS
</b>            "For Progress to occur, it is necessary for Two
            Generations to Agree...."

<b>HE LOOKS AT THE TELEVISION SCREEN, WHICH SHOWS THE PRESIDENT WITH A YOUNG GIBL
</b><b>ON HIS LAP.
</b>
<b>                          MOSS
</b>            Oh, jeez, this guy is fucked.

<b>                          BREAN
</b>            What one has to do, Mr. Moss.  Is to fight a holding
            action.

<b>                          MOSS
</b>            ...holding action.  THEY'RE GOING TO TEAR THIS GUY TO
            <u>Shreds</u>.

<b>                          BREAN
</b>            If we can hold the break-in-the-dam for ten days, til
            the election, we...

<b>                          MOSS
</b>            Yeah, hut you can't hold the dam.  How the hell,
            n'nu'n', I don't get what you want <u>me</u> to ...

<b>THE SCREEN CHANGES, WE SEE THE SEAL OF THE PRESIDENT, AND WE ARE IN THE
</b><b>NEWSROOM OF THE WHITE HOUSE.  A SHOT OF THE RESTIVE REPORTERS, IN THE B.G.
</b><b>OF THE CABANA WE SEE THE POOL ATTENDANT TAKING HIS LEAVE, HURRYING BACK TO
</b><b>THE OTHER TELEVISION AT THE POOL DESK.
</b>
<b>                          ANNOUNCER
</b><b>                    (VO)
</b>            Allegations that the president had sexual... Ah...
            here is the deputy ... assistant under secretary...

<b>WE SEE LEVY TAKE THE PODIUM, ARRANGE HIS NOTES, AND CLEAR HIS THROAT.
</b>
<b>BREAN LEANS FORWARD, ANXIOUS, IN HIS SEAT.
</b>
<b>                          MOSS
</b>            I don't ... they're gonna tear this guy to <u>shreds</u>...

<b>                          LEVY
</b><b>                    (ON TV)
</b>            ...the illness of the President, which we are assured,
            is not serious.  I repeat, it is <u>not</u> serious, the
            doctors suspect it's a stomach flu, but have advised
            him not to fly.  He will remain, on the ground, in
            China for, they estimate, one or two days, I stress
            that, during this time he will, of...

<b>                          MOSS
</b>            ...he's gotta come back <u>sometime</u>, what the hell is two
            <u>days</u> gonna buy him.

<b>                          LEVY
</b><b>                    (VO)
</b>            Any questions....Mr. Sklansky, Yes...

<b>                          MOSS
</b><b>                    (AS HE LEANS CLOSER TO THE TV)
</b>            ... twelve year old girl...  Breir <u>Rabbit</u> couldh t gut
            outta this...

<b>ANGLE, ON BREAN AS HE LOOKS AT MOSS, LEANING INTO THE TV.  HE THEN
</b><b>SWITCHES HIS GLANCE TOWARD THE POOL DESK, ANGLE HIS POV.  AT THE POOL DESK
</b><b>WE SEE THE TWO ATTENDANTS, THE NANNY, THE KID AND SEVERAL NEWLY ARRIVED
</b><b>BATHERS CLUSTERED, RAPT, AROUND THE TELEVISION.
</b>
<b>                          LEVY
</b><b>                    (C)  (VO)
</b>            Yes...?

<b>                          SKLANSKY
</b><b>                    (VO)
</b>            Mr. Levy...

<b>                          LEVY
</b><b>                    (VO)
</b>            Yes

<b>                          SKLANSKY
</b>            Would you comment on the rumors... on the rumors that
            the President's trip, that the President's <u>delay</u>... is
            due to the situation in Albania?

<b>ANGLE
</b><b>ON THE TELEVISION WE SEE SKLANSKY, AND SEE THAT HE IS THE CHAP IN THE
</b><b>BATHROBE WHOM BREAN GAVE THE ENVELOPE TO.
</b>
<b>                          LEVY
</b>            There, uh, I'm not aware of the situation to which you
            refer.

<b>                          SKLANSKY
</b>            Sir:  the heads of the Albanian Desks at C.I.A., and at
            the National Security agency have been recalled on
            Special Alert, and there are rumors that the B-2
            Bomber...

<b>                          LEVY
</b>            Mr. Sklansky, Mr. Sklansky, I am I am unaware of any,
            um, "situation..."  The B-2 Bomber?
<b>                    (PAUSE)
</b>            The B-2 Bomber...?  There <u>is</u> no B-2 Bomber.  Mrs.
            Rose...

<b>A WOMAN REPORTER STANDS.
</b>
<b>                          MRS. ROSE
</b>            Mr. Levy, early this morning Major General William
            Scott flew to Seattle.  Is his trip connected with the
            B-2 Bomber?

<b>                          LEVY
</b>            Uh...Mrs. Rose, there, to the best of my knowledge,
            there <u>is</u> no...

<b>                          REPORTER
</b>            Mr. Levy:  is the situation in Albania in any way
            connected with recent Muslim Fundamentalist, anti-
            American...

<b>BEAT.  MOSS LOOKS AT BREAN.
</b>
<b>                          MOSS
</b>            How close are you to this thing?

<b>BREAN PICKS UP A CELLPHONE FROM THE TABLE, AND DIALS
</b>
<b>                          BREAN
</b><b>                    (TO MOSS)
</b>            What do you want the kid to say?

<b>MOSS LOOKS AT BREAN APPRAISINGLY.
</b>
<b>                          MOSS
</b>            Have him say, 'I know we're all concerned for the
            President, there will he an update at 5:45.'

AS MOSS SPEAKS BREAN NODS TO <u>AMES</u>, SPEAKS INTO THE TELEPHONE.

<b>                          AMES
</b><b>                    (INTO PHONE)
</b>            Have the kid say I know we're all concerned for the
            President.  There will he an update on his
            condition at 5:45.

<b>THEY BOTH TURN TO WATCH THE SCREEN.
</b>
<b>                          LEVY
</b><b>                    (ON TV)
</b>            ...no information whatever on Fundamentalist...
<b>                    (HE HOLDS HIS HAND TO HIS EARPHONE)
</b>            I.  I just want to say I know we're all conceroed for
            the President, there will be an update on his
            condition at five forty-five...

<b>MOSS LEANS OVER AND TURNS DOWN THE VOLUME ON THE TV.
</b><b>BEAT.
</b>
<b>                          MOSS
</b>            Well.  You bought yourself one day.  Maybe two.

<b>                          BREAN
</b>            String a few together.  All I need's eleven,

<b>                          MOSS
</b>            How you going to stretch it?
<b>                    (HE GESTURES AT THE TV)
</b>            This won't hold for eleven days.  Guy fucked a twelve-
            year-old...whadday're gonna do to hold that off?

<b>                          BREAN
</b>            What do you think would hold it off?

<b>                          MOSS
</b>            Uh, <u>nothing</u>, oh, <u>nothing</u> ... uh... a <u>War</u>, uh...
<b>                    (HE PAUSES, THEN LOOKS AT BREAN WITH
</b><b>                    COMPREHENSION.)
</b>            You're kidding.

<b>BREAN SHAKES HIS HEAD NO.
</b>
<b>                          MOSS
</b>            I'm a Jew in Show Business.  Why come to me?

<b>                          BREAN
</b>            I'm gonna <u>tell</u> you why...

<b>BREAN LEANS CONSPIRATORIALLY, OVER TOWARD MOSS.
</b>
<b>                          BREAN
</b>            Here's the Short Course:  Fifty-Four, Forty or Fight.
            What does <u>that</u> mean?

<b>                          MOSS
</b>            Uh, it's a slogan.  From, uh...

<b>                          BREAN
</b>            Remember the Maine...

<b>                          MOSS
</b>            That's from the ... it's got to be from the...

<b>                          BREAN
</b>            Tippecanoe and Tyler, Too!

<b>                          MOSS
</b>            ...uh ... No, that's...

<b>                          BREAN
</b>            We remember the slogans, we can't even remember the
            fucking <u>wars</u>.  Y'know why.  Cause it's <u>show business</u>.
            That's why I'm here.  Naked girl, covered in Napalm.
            Five marines Raising the Flag, Mount Suribachi.
            Churchill, V for Victory, Y'remember the Picture, fifty
            years from now, they'll have forgotten  the war.  Gulf
            War?  Smart Bomb, falling through the roof.  2500
            missions a day, 100 days, <u>One Shot</u> of One Bomb.  The
            American people bought that war. M'I getting through
            to you?  War in the Balkans, don't mean nothing, till
            some G.I. flyer, went down, Eating Snakes for Ten days.
            N'then It's show business, Mister Moss.  That's why
            I'm here.

<b>ANGLE
</b><b>AT THE POOL DESK. THE ATTENDANTS AND THE GUESTS ARE WATCHING THE TELEVISION.
</b><b>ON WHICH WE SEE COMIONTATOR TALKING ABOUT A MAP OF ALBANIA.
</b>
<b>THE SCENE SHIFTS TO THE SHOTS OF THE PRESIDENT BEING PRESIENTIAL, AND WE
</b><b>HEAR, "THANK HEAVEN, FOR LITTLE GIRLS..."
</b><b>AMES WINCES, WE SEE THE POOL ATTENDANTS LAUGH.
</b>
<b>                          BREAN
</b>            It's like being a producer, Mr. Moss.  The Things in
            Trouble.  Somebody's got to wade in, save the thing.
<b>                    (PAUSE)
</b>            You get the Actors get up there, and strut and
            <u>Posture</u>.  But somebody, knows what's what, got to jump
            in and Save the Thing.
<b>                    (PAUSE)
</b>
<b>THEY LISTEN TO THANK HEAVEN, FOR LITTLE GIRLS, AND THEY LOOK AT MOSS.
</b>
<b>PAUSE
</b>
<b>                          MOSS
</b>            Why Albania?

<b>                          BREAN
</b>            Why not?

MOSS NODS DECISIVELY.  AS IF TO SAY, "BY GOLLY, <u>NOW</u> YOU'RE <u>TALKING</u>..."

<b>                          MOSS
</b>            Pat? Pat?

<b>ONE OF THE ATTENDANTS RAISES HIS HEAD FROM THE TV AND SPRINTS OVER TO THE
</b><b>CABANA, WHERE WE SEE MOSS AND BREAN DEEP IN CONFAB.  MOSS GESTURES TO THE
</b><b>TRAY WITH THE JUICE AND THE CELERY.
</b>
<b>                          MOSS
</b>            ...throw this shit out.  Gemme a pot of coffee and a
            packet of Camels.

<b>INT MOSS'S HOME, AFTERNOON.
</b>
<b>A GREENE AND GREENE BUNGALOW IN THE HOLLYWOOD HILLS, AMERICAN ART POTTERY
</b><b>ALL AROUND.  MOSS IN BLUEJEANS AND A HAWAIIAN HAT, PACING BACK AND FORTH,
</b><b>SMOKING LIKE A CHIMNEY.
</b>
<b>                          MOSS
</b>            But at some point they gotta know.

<b>                          BREAN
</b>            Who?

<b>                          MOSS
</b>            The...
<b>                    (HE GESTURES OUT OF HIS WINDOW,
</b><b>                    MEANING, "THE PUBLIC")
</b>
<b>                          BREAN
</b>            "They Got To Know?"  <u>Stan</u>...?  Get with it.  Who Killed
            Kennedy...?  I read the first draft of the Warren
            Report, said he was killed by a Drunk <u>Driver</u>.  You
            watched the Gulf War.  What did you see?  Day after
            day, the one "Smart Bomb" falling into a building.
            The <u>truth</u>, I was in the building when they <u>shot</u> that
            shot, they shot it in a studio, Falls Church Virginia,
            1/10th scale model of a building.

<b>                          MOSS
</b>            Is that true?

<b>                          BREAN
</b>            How the fuck do <u>we</u> know.  You take my point?

<b>                          MOSS
</b><b>                    (SHAKING HIS HEAD)
</b>            ...going to War...

<b>                          BREAN
</b>            It's not "war."  It is a <u>Pageant</u>.  It's a <u>Pageant</u>...
            Like the Oscars... why we came to <u>you</u>...

<b>                          MOSS
</b>            I never won an Oscar.

<b>                          BREAN
</b>            N'it's a crying shame.  But you <u>staged</u> the Oscars...

<b>                          MOSS
</b>            Yes.  Indeed I did.
<b>                    (PAUSE)
</b>
<b>HE LOOKS OVER AT HIS WALL FULL OF PLAQUES AND TROPHIES.
</b>
<b>                          MOSS
</b><b>                    (CONT.)
</b>            You know, you're a <u>writer</u>, that's your script.  You're
            a <u>director</u>...
<b>                    (HE GESTURES, ET CETERA.)
</b>            But if you're the <u>producer</u> ... what did you do?
<b>                    (PAUSE)
</b>            What did you do?  All you've got is the <u>credit</u>...
<b>                    (PAUSE)
</b>            Some plaque on the wall...

<b>HE SHAKES HIS HEAD SADLY.
</b>
<b>                          BREAN
</b>            And <u>if</u> you never won an Oscar, How'd you like an
            ambassadorship...
<b>                    (PAUSE)
</b>
<b>                          MOSS
</b>            Hell, I'd just do it for the <u>hell</u> of having <u>done</u> it,
            for a story to tell...

<b>                          BREAN
</b>            Well, no, well, you couldn't <u>tell</u> any...

<b>                          MOSS
</b>            Hey, I know that, hey, I'm <u>kidding</u>...
<b>                    (PAUSE)
</b>            "It's a pageant"

<b>                          BREAN
</b>            ...that's what it is.

<b>                          MOSS
</b><b>                    (TO HIMSELF)
</b>            "The Country Is At War."
<b>                    (PAUSE)
</b>
<b>                          BREAN
</b>            It's Miss America, N'you're Bert Parks.
<b>                    (PAUSE)
</b>
<b>                          MOSS
</b>            ...Yoha, Yoha... Yoha.
<b>                    (PAUSE)
</b>            <i>Why</i> Albania?

<b>                          BREAN
</b>            Because.

<b>                          MOSS
</b>            They got to have something that we want.

<b>                          BREAN
</b>            I'm sure they do.

<b>                          MOSS
</b>            What do we have that they want?

<b>                          BREAN
</b>            "Freedom."

<b>                          MOSS
</b>            Why would they want that?

<b>                          HAKAN
</b>            They're Oppressed.

<b>                          MOSS
</b>            No, no, no.  Fuck Freedom.  No.  Fuck Freedom.
            They.... They Want... They Want To Destroy the Godless
            Satan of the United ... They want to destroy our Way of
            Life.  Okay, okay, okay, could we ... okay:  the
            President is in China.  He is dealing with a Dispatch
            of the B-2 Bomber to Albania.  Why?
<b>                    (HE SHRUGS, HOLDS UP HIS HANDS, TO SAY,
</b>                    "YOU TELL <u>ME</u>...")

<b>                          AMES
</b>            Alright, well, alright:  geopolitically...

<b>MOSS GESTURES FOR SILENCE.
</b>
<b>                          MOSS
</b>            We've just found out They Have the Bomb.  We've Just
            Found Out They Have The <u>Bomb</u>, aaaand... No, No wait a
            second, no, no, wait a second, No.  The Bomb's not...
            it's not <u>there</u> -- because they'd have to have a
            rocket and that shit n'they're a buncha wogs-- it's ...
            it's a <u>suitcase</u> Bomb.  Ooookay.  It's a <u>suitcase</u> bomb,
            and it's .... in Canada!  Eh?  Albanian Terrorists have
            placed a suitcase Bomb in Canada, in an attempt to
            infiltrate the bomb into the USA.

<b>                          AMES
</b>            You know what?  This is good.  This is terrific, and
            I'll tell you why:  it's <u>cost effective</u>.  This is....

<b>                          MOSS
</b><b>                    (SHRUGS)
</b>            It's <u>producing</u>.

<b>                          AMES
</b>            No, this is great.

<b>                          MOSS
</b>            I could tell you stories:  Cecil B. Demille:  Alright?
            The Greatest Show on Earth:  He needs an elephant,

<b>GRACE COMES IN WITH A PHONE, TO AMES.
</b>
<b>                          GRACE
</b>            I have the White House on the Line.

<b>                          MOSS
</b>            ...one minute:  Demille needs an elephant for a
            reshoot.

<b>                          AMES
</b><b>                    (TAKES THE PHONE)
</b>            Ames here.  <u>Yessir</u>...
<b>                    (HE LISTENS.)
</b>
<b>                          MOSS
</b>            Okay.  Okay.  The <u>Suitcase</u> Bomb...

<b>                          GRACE
</b>            ...good title for a movie....

<b>MOSS GESTURES "WRITE IT DOWN"
</b>
<b>AMES WANDERS AWAY, RELATING THE PROCEEDINGS INTO THE PHONE.
</b>
<b>                          AMES
</b>            ..."Terrorism," and an attempt to infiltrate...

<b>                          MOSS
</b>            ...the Suitcase Bomb.  ACT ONE Albania denies it.
            President comes on the air, "Be Calm."  Okay, now:
            Good.  Now, Alright.  Act <u>TWO</u>...
<b>                    (TO GRACE)
</b>            I need the following here.  Right now:  Johnnie Green,
            Liz Butsky, and get me the Fad King.

<b>                          GRACE
</b>            Isn't Johnny Green in the...
<b>                    (SHE GESTURES, LOONEY BIN)
</b>
<b>                          MOSS
</b>            No, he's back in Nashville.

<b>                          BREAN
</b>            ...who is this guy...?

<b>                          MOSS
</b><b>                    (TO BREAN)
</b>            Act Two:  and then, Act Two...

<b>                          BREAN
</b>            We don't need an Act Two.

<b>                          MOSS
</b><b>                    (ON THE PHONE)
</b>            And get me the Fad King.  No.  Get him First...
<b>                    (TO BREAN)
</b>            We don't need an Act Two?

<b>                          BREAN
</b>            We've just got to hold their interest for ten more
            days, till the Election.

<b>                          MOSS
</b>            ...it's a Teaser!

<b>                          BREAN
</b>            It's a teaser, absolutely right,

<b>AMES IS SEEN IN THE B.G. ON THE CELLPHONE.
</b>
<b>                          AMES
</b><b>                    (ON THE PHONE, SOTTO)
</b>            The <u>thinking</u> is, as of this moment, <u>Terrorism</u>...
<b>                    (HE COVERS THE PHONE)
</b>            ...they're getting a Good Reaction on the "Albania"
            thing...

<b>BREAN SHRUGS, TO SAY, "OF COURSE."
</b>
<b>                          MOSS
</b><b>                    (ON THE PHONE)
</b>            Hello, <u>King</u>.  How the heck <u>are</u> you...?
<b>                    (PAUSE)
</b>            <u>Get</u> out...
<b>                    (PAUSE)
</b>            <u>Get</u> out... Well, man, you fall in love like a
            <u>Hillbilly</u>...
<b>                    (HE COVERS THE PHONE, EXPLAINING TO
</b><b>                    THOSE NEAR HIM)
</b>            Ditch the wife, toss the kids in the Pick-up,
                    (HE GESTURES, MEANING, <u>YOU</u> KNOW...)
                    (To THE FAD KING)
            Listen, King:  <u>Get</u> your fat redneck ass out here,
            <u>willya</u>...

<b>                          AMES
</b><b>                    (TO BREAN, STILL HOLDING THE PHONE TO
</b><b>                    HIS EAR)
</b>            ...but the President wonders about the Possible
            Albanian Backlash...

<b>                          BREAN
</b><b>                    (SHRUGS)
</b>            You can't have a war without an enemy.

<b>                          MOSS
</b><b>                    (ON PHONE)
</b>            No, King, I need you here <u>yesterday</u>...
<b>                    (TO BREAN)
</b>            How long do I need him for?

<b>                          BREAN
</b><b>                    (CORRECTING HIMSELF)
</b>            Well, you could <u>have</u> one, but it'd be a very
            ineffective war...
<b>                    (TO MOSS)
</b>            We're <u>done</u> in 10 days...

<b>                          MOSS
</b>            Ten Days.
<b>                    (COVERS THE PHONE)
</b>            There going to be any Back End in this thing?

<b>                          BREAN
</b>            W...what?

<b>                          MOSS
</b>            ...there gonna be any money in this thing?

<b>                          BREAN
</b>            "Back End" ... count on it.

<b>                          MOSS
</b><b>                    (TO PHONE)
</b>            Lots n lotsa cash.  Stay on for Gracie, she'll get you
            a ticket
<b>                    (HE HANGS UP)
</b>
<b>                          AMES
</b><b>                    (TO BREAN)
</b>            ...where is the Back End coming from?

<b>                          BREAN
</b>            It's like that thing with the Yellow Ribbon...

<b>                          AMES
</b>            The thing with the Yellow Ribbon...

<b>                          BREAN
</b>            The Hostages...?

<b>                          AMES
</b>            The hostages, but that was a naturally-occuring...
<b>                    (BREAN GIVES HIM A LOOK TO SAY, "OH,
</b><b>                    GROW UP")
</b>            It was a put-up job?
<b>                    (BREAN GIVES HIM THE LOOK AGAIN)
</b>            But where was the, where was the money in that?

<b>                          BREAN
</b>            In the yellow ribbon.

<b>                          AMES
</b>            ...the Yellow Ribbon, but who, who'd profit from
            <u>that</u>...

<b>                          BREAN
</b><b>                    (LONG SUFFERING)
</b>            The Ribbon Manufacturers.

<b>                          MOSS
</b><b>                    (INTO THE PHONE)
</b>            King, King, I got a thing here, a product placement,
            gonna have a bigger back-end than Hattie McDaniel.
            Now:

<b>AMES, CELLPHONE TO HIS EAR, APPROACHES BREAN -- BREAN WAVES HIM OFF.
</b>
<b>                          BREAN
</b>            I gotta protect the Canadian Horder,

<b>BREAN PICKS UP ANOTHER PHONE, AND STARTS
</b>
<b>                          BREAN
</b><b>                    (INTO THE PHONE)
</b>            Here's what we want to do:  The Park Police, the
            Border Patrol, and the US Marshall's Service.  The D.E.
            the A.T.F, <u>all</u> of em, Stand by for instant
            mobilization, 'long the Canadian Border.
<b>                    (PAUSE)
</b>            And tell 'em there's nothing to be alarmed about.

<b>INT MOSS'S DINING ROOM NIGHT.
</b>
<b>MOSS, BREAN, AND THREE MORE PEOPLE, PADS AND NOTES TACKED ONTO THE WALL.
</b>
<b>CAMERA PANS OVER THE TABLE.  ONE NEWSPAPER, THE EDITORIAL CARTOON SHOWS
</b><b>THE PRESIDENT.  A GIRLSCOUT IS HANDING HIM A BOX OF COOKIES, AND HE IS SAYING,
</b><b>"I KNOW I REALLY SHOULDN'T"... ON ANOTHER THE EDITORIAL CARTOON SHOWS THE
</b><b>GREAT SEAL OF THE PRESIDENT, THE MOTTO, WRITTEN AROUND THE CIRCUMFERENCE
</b><b>READS, "SIT ON MY LAP."
</b>
<b>                          JAY LENO
</b><b>                    (VO)
</b>            ...went into a Convenience store...

<b>ANGLE
</b><b>THE GROUP, MOSS, BREAN AND THREE MORE, WATCHING THE TV
</b>
<b>                          JAY LENO
</b>            ...asked if they had any girlscout cookies.  Five cops
            jumped on me, took me off in chains...

<b>MOSS SWITCHES THE STATION.  WE SEE RICKY JAY, DOING A VANISH OF COINS.
</b><b>APPLAUSE... CONAN O'BRIAN BECKONS RICKY OVER TO THE PANEL.
</b>
<b>                          CONAN
</b>            Ricky Jay, Ladies and Gentleman, Ricky, I guess we'd
            have to say that you're the most famous manipulator of
            small oblects in the World.

<b>                          RICKY JAY
</b>            No, I'd have to say, that'd be the President.

<b>LAUGHTER ON THE TV.
</b><b>MOSS SWITCHES THE CHANAEL AGAIN.  WE SEE SENATOR NOLE.
</b>
<b>                          SENATOR NOLE
</b><b>                    (ON TV)
</b>            ...taking refuge behind the fact of <u>distance</u>, taking
            refuge behind the mention of <u>Albania</u>, of his <u>stomach</u>
            flu, taking refuge, with the election those <u>scant</u> days
            away, behind everything except avowal of his guilt.
            Mr. President, if you have any shame, I ask you, the
            public asks you, the electorate asks you to <u>return</u>,
            to face these terrible charges, to...

<b>THE SCREEN GOES TO THE GREAT SEAL OF THE PRESIDENT
</b>
<b>                          ANNOUNCER
</b>            ...from Airforce One.  In China.  The President of the
            United States.

<b>                          PRESIDENT
</b>            My fellow Americans.  I apologize for the need for
            <u>secrecy</u>.  I assure you that had it not been
            necessary to ensure the safety of our men and women
            in the Combat Arms.  The Republic of Albania, long
            a staging ground for terrorists around the World, is
            in the procesa of mounting ... <u>actions</u> directed against
            the people of the United States.  In consultation with
            my advisors, I have elected to take the following
            precautionary measures:

<b>EXT POOLSIDE, MOSS'S HOME, L.A. NIGHT.
</b>
<u>THE FAD KING</u>, A SLOPPILY FAT FELLOW IN A DIRTY T-SHIRT, IS WALKING THE POOL,
<b>HOLDING FORTH TO MOSS, AND JOHNNY GREEN, A NASHVILLE TYPE, AND LIZ BUTSKY, A
</b><b>COSTUME DESIGNER, WHO IS SKETCHING ON A PAD.
</b>
<b>                          FAD KING
</b>            It's a, it's a...
<b>                    (LIZ STARTS TO TALK)
</b>            It <u>can't</u> be a ribbon...

<b>                          LIZ
</b>            Why can't it be a ribbon?

<b>                          FAD KING
</b>            It can't be a ribbon cause AIDS had a ribbon, cause
            the Yellow Ribbon thing had a ribbon, cause...

<b>                          MOSS
</b>            Look, look, look, look, Canada, okay...?  Our neighbor
            to the North, alla sudden, transformed, into That
            Place, where, like the North Wind, <u>Terror</u> comes...

<b>                          FAD KING
</b>            Keep Talking....

<b>                          MOSS
</b>            What guards Us Against Canada...?

<b>                          AMES
</b><b>                    (PHONE TO HIS EAR)
</b>            ...we've got a <u>crash</u> poll, says...
<b>                    (HE LISTENS)
</b>            Sixty <u>seven</u> percent of the
<b>                    (BEAMS)
</b>            American People, on hearing the President's Speech...

<b>JOHNNIE GREEN WALKS AWAY, HUMMING TO HIMSELF, "I GUARD THE NORTHERN
</b><u>BORDERS</u>..."

<b>FAD KING AND LIZ WAVE AMES OFF, MEANING, "WE HAVE ADULT WORK TO DO HERE."
</b>
<b>                          LIZ
</b>            Uh...uh... Mounties.  The Mounties Guard The Border.
            uh... those Mountie Hats.

<b>                          FAD KING
</b>            They look stupid.

<b>                          LIZ
</b>            We had Davy Crockett hats... They made a fortune.

<b>                          FAD KING
</b>            We had Davy Crockett hats, but you could <u>crush</u>'em ...
            you could <u>crush</u>'em, see, when you felt stupid.
            Crush'em, put em in your Pocket.  You can't put a
            Mountie hat in your...

<b>MOSS WALKS THROUGH THE SHOT, WITH BREAN.
</b>
<b>                          MOSS
</b><b>                    (EXPANSIVELY)
</b>            Y'see, <u>this</u> is what Producing is:  you put me in a
            <u>Room</u>...

<b>                          AMES
</b><b>                    (LISTENING TO THE PHONE)
</b>            ...and he's got a <u>negative</u> rating of...
<b>                    (HE SMILES)
</b>
<b>                          MOSS
</b><b>                    (TO FAD KING, PROMPTING)
</b>            King, we've got to be on the streets in...

<b>                          FAD KING
</b>            ...what am I <u>doing</u>?  Do you see me working...?
<b>                    (TO LIZ)
</b>            Here's what you want to do, you want to come out of the
            box, an item, someone 'ready <u>has</u>, but <u>then</u> you sell
            it to'em.  Torn <u>jeans</u>, uh ... faded Levi Jackets, uh...
            uh...

<b>                          MOSS
</b>            Where are we on the Image?  Grace?  <u>Grace</u>...

<b>ANGLE
</b><b>OVER A SLEEPING BREAN, STRETCHED OUT ON A POOLCHAIR, GRACE, THE SECRETARY,
</b><b>COMES OUT ON TO THE POOL AREA, HOLDING THE SHOT OF A SMALL, FOREIGN LOOKING
</b><b>CHILD, IN FRONT OF A PILE OF RUBBLE.
</b><b>SHE SHOWS IT TO MOSS.
</b>
<b>                          MOSS
</b>            ...we own it?

<b>                          GRACE
</b>            Public Domain.

<b>                          MOSS
</b>            And what?  What?  She was Driven From Her Home, by
            Albanian Terrorists.  It is her we are mobilizing to
            defend... it is "she"?

<b>                          GRACE
</b>            We-are-mobilizing-to-defend-<u>her</u>.

<b>                          MOSS
</b>            Can we give'er a <u>kitten</u>?

<b>                          GRACE
</b>            No problem.  Here's the...

<b>SHE GOES BACK INTO THE HOUSE.
</b>
<b>                          FAD KING
</b>            I gotta get something, I gotta get ...shoes?  Ties?
            Hats...?
<b>                    (TAKES A SHEAF OF HEADSHOTS FROM
</b><b>                    GRACE)
</b>            Good.  Good.
<b>                    (HE PASSES THEM AROUND, WE SEE THEY
</b><b>                    ARE ALL GIRLS AROUND FOURTEEN WITH LONG
</b><b>                    BLONDE HAIR.)
</b>
<b>                          BREAN
</b>            ...what is this?

<b>                          MOSS
</b>            Headshots.  Girls to play the girl in our footage.
<b>                    (OF A PHOTO)
</b>            I like the sorrowful one.  Anybody Else....?
<b>                    (HE PASSES THE PHOTOS AROUND.)
</b>
<b>                          FAD KING
</b>            ...what is this?

<b>                          BREAN
</b>
            Young-Albanian-girl-driven-from-her-home.

<b>                          FAD KING
</b>            I go with this here...
<b>                    (HE WALKS OFF SHAKING HIS HEAD.)
</b>
<b>                          MOSS
</b>            Too Texan.  Go with the stick.  Thanks.
<b>                    (TO THE FAD KING.)
</b>            <u>What</u>...? ...does it have to be <u>Albania</u>...We're locked
            into Albania...why?

<b>                          JOHNNY GREEN
</b>            It's tough to rhyme.

<b>                          MOSS
</b>            I believe in you....

<b>                          JOHNNY GREEN
</b>            Albania, Albania, Albania, James bond Villains.

<b>                          MOSS
</b>            John Belushi... <u>Jim</u> Belushi...

<b>                          JOHNNY GREEN
</b>            Jim Belushi...?

<b>                          MOSS
</b>            Surest thing you know.

<b>                          FAD KING
</b>            Shoes, Hats....

<b>                          LIZ
</b>            The special hats of the Special Anti-terrorist
            detachment of the Border Patrol.

<b>                          MOSS
</b><b>                    (MULLING IT OVER)
</b>            The Special Anti-Terrorist Detachment of the Border
            Patrol... what do they <u>do</u>...?

<b>                          LIZ
</b><b>                    (SHRUGS)
</b>            ...they... <u>you</u> know...

<b>                          JOHNNY GREEN
</b>            They guard our, <u>you</u> know ... "borders," night and
            day...

<b>                          MOSS
</b>            Yeah, good good good good good.  And They're <u>So</u>
            <u>Secret</u>...

<b>                          LIZ
</b>            Oh huh...

<b>                          MOSS
</b>            ...they have the capacity to Meld into the <u>Woods</u>,
            and...

<b>ALL NOD
</b>
<b>                          MOSS
</b><b>                    (CONT.)
</b>            And one of them is in love with the <u>sister</u> of...

<b>                          LIZ
</b>            I'm just talking about the Hats.

<b>                          MOSS
</b>            The hats.

<b>                          LIZ
</b>            A beret.

<b>                          MOSS
</b>            Why a beret?

<b>                          LIZ
</b>            Cause you can crush it and put it in your pocket.

<b>                          MOSS
</b>            "...the special detachment..."
            Good!  What is it?

<b>BREAN WAKES FOR A MOMENT, AT THE SHOUTING, LOOKS AT HIS WATCH.
</b>
<b>                          BREAN
</b>            Three-o-three...

<b>                          MOSS
</b>            The men and women of Detachment Three-O-Three, with
            their...

<b>                          FAD KING
</b>            Black...

<b>                          LIZ
</b>            Leopard Skin...

<b>                          MOSS
</b>            With their berets...

<b>                          LIZ
</b>            ...their Leopard Skin Berets....

<b>                          FAD KING
</b>            Well, <u>that</u> ain't very butch, is it?

<b>                          LIZ
</b>            It's a <u>beret</u>...

<b>CAMERA TAKES MOSS TO THE TV WHERE BREAN IS WATCHING A "CHANGE HORSES IN
</b><b>MIDSTREAM" AD, SHOWING TWO RETIRED LADIES, SITTING OUT ON A PORCH IN THE
</b><b>SOUTH, ON A ROCKER.
</b>
<b>                          LIZ
</b><b>                    (CONT.)
</b>            ...you said you wanted something they could stuff in
            their pocket...

<b>                          FAD KING
</b>            ...I meant the Leopard Skin...

<b>                          LIZ
</b>            British Regiments drape their drums in Leopard Skins.

<b>                          FAD KING
</b>            Thank God this is America.

<b>                          MOSS
</b><b>                    (DISTRACTED)
</b>            How about half-black, <u>half</u> leopard skin...

<b>                          TV OLD LADY
</b>            ...why change Horses in Mid Stresm, that's what <u>I</u> ...

<b>                          MOSS
</b><b>                    (SHAKING HEAD SADLY)
</b>            Why are they sticking with <u>this</u> age old horseshit?

<b>                          BREAN
</b><b>                    (SHRUGS)
</b>            "If One Twinkie is Funny, Two Twinkies are Funnier..."

<b>AMES WALKS IN WITH HIS ARMS FULL OF FAXES.  HE READS FROM THEM.
</b>
<b>AS HE PERUSES THEM WE SEE THE FAD KING, HE GOES, DREAMILY, TO A PHONE, AND
</b><b>DIALS.
</b>
<b>                          FAD KING
</b><b>                    (INTO PHONE)
</b>            Bunny:  I had an idea:  a Slinky, that falls <u>Up</u>...
<b>                    (PAUSE)
</b>            Naa, we can figure that <u>out</u>.  What I'm wondering:  what
            do we <u>call</u> it...
<b>                    (PAUSE)
</b>            You got my number...
<b>                    (HE HANGS UP.)
</b>
<b>                          MOSS
</b><b>                    (TO AMES)
</b>            Why are they ...

<b>                          AMES
</b><b>                    (OF FAXES)
</b>            NY Times, Washington Post, War, War, War.  Times got
            the girlscout page twelve, Post in Section Two....
            Horses in Mid-Stream...?

<b>                          MOSS
</b>            I don't think you're gonna need it.

<b>                          AMES
</b>            Well, we paid for it, we got the guys on a retainer.

<b>                          MOSS
</b>            They got the guys on a <u>retainer</u>, it's cheaper, <u>pay</u>'em,
            but don't lettem touch it... Let'em leave us alone.

<b>                          AMES
</b>            What can it hurt.

<b>                          MOSS
</b>            What can it hurt is they offend me.

<b>IN THE B.G. WE SEE BREAN, WALKING AROUND WITH A CELLPHONE.
</b>
<b>                          LIZ
</b>            I need a ruling on the Hats.  I say a Leopard-skin,
            and...

<b>                          MOSS
</b>            Hey, <u>you're</u> getting the big bucks....
<b>                    (TO BREAN)
</b>            I think we're up-and-running...

<b>JOHNNY GREEN COMES OVER, "JUST LISTEN TO THIS."
</b>
<b>                          JOHNNY GREEN
</b><b>                    (SINGS)
</b>            Canada your Peaceful slumbers
            Guard our Border To The North...
            The Rightful Order
            Of Our <u>Border</u>...

<b>HE SHAKES HIS READ, AND RETIRES.  GRACE COMES OUT WITH A TRAY OF COFFEE, FROM
</b><b>WHICH THEY TAKE A CUP.
</b>
<b>                          FAD KING
</b>            Kid comes to School.  Teacher:  You're late for
            Geography Class.  Kid:  I din' get my breakfast.
            Teacher:  siddown, where's the Canadian Border.  Kid:
            In bed wit My Mom.  That's why I missed my breakfast...

<b>GRACE REACHES IN HER BACK POCKET, HANDS MOSS SEVERAL SHEETS
</b>
<b>                          GRACE
</b>            We got the Albanian Girl, with a cat, with a kitten,
            with a <u>dog</u>...

<b>                          MOSS
</b>            I didn't ask for a dog.

<b>                          GRACE
</b><b>                    (SHRUGS)
</b>            ...the pet wrangler suggested it..he's also got a...

<b>                          AMES
</b>            I think I should check with the President -- to see
            what kind of animal he...

<b>                          GRACE
</b>            The Pet wrangler has <u>also</u> got a...

<b>                          MOSS
</b>            Do it later...
<b>                    (OF THE PHOTO)
</b>            Okay,  now, "The Little Girl," who is she, what is she
            doing?  She is....she's ...Okay, okay, it's an Albanian
            village... She is the victim of, she has been
            <u>relocated</u>, to, to, for the <u>terrorists</u>, the Government
            Labs...the, the... a <u>staging</u> area for their Atomic
            workshop.
<b>                    (PAUSE)
</b>            They're torturing her family, because they have
            connections in Canada, which would permit the
            terrorists access to the American Border.

<b>                          GRACE
</b>            Better.

<b>                          MOSS
</b>            You like it?

<b>                          GRACE
</b>            Yes.

<b>                          MOSS
</b>            Fine.  Good.

<b>GRACE EXITS.
</b>
<b>                          BREAN
</b><b>                    (HANGS UP THE CELL PHONE)
</b>            Would somebody wake me in five minutes?

<b>                          FAD KING
</b>            Does it <u>have</u> to be Albania?  Because, lookit:
<b>                    (HE HOLDS UP A SKETCH OF A BOOT)
</b>            I can get my hands on a lot of walking-around-cash, I
            think, if it's <u>Italy</u>...Look at the tie-in here:  <u>The</u>
            <u>Boot</u>, "Givvem the <u>Boot</u>,"... If we were to go Wide
            with a <u>shoe</u> as the fad.  A "Shoe-fad"...  Here's what
            it offers us...

<b>                          BREAN
</b>            We're locked into Albania.

<b>                          FAD KING
</b>            Well, let's not be too sure, why is that?

<b>                          BREAN
</b><b>                    (CHECKS HIS WATCH.)
</b>            The President is going to declare War against Albania
            in a half an hour.

<b>BREAN ROUSES HIMSELF, WALKS TO THE POOL, AND BEGINS TO WASH HIS FACE IN IT.
</b>
<b>EXT STUDIO PARKING LOT L.A. DAWN.
</b>
<b>MERCEDES CONVERTIBLE PULLS UP, MOSS DRIVING.  HE AND BREAN GET OUT.
</b>
<b>INT STUDIO, DAWN.
</b>
<b>A TELEVISION, SHOWING THE PRESIDENT, SPEAKING.
</b>
<b>                          PRESIDENT
</b>            That a state of war has existed, between the United
            States, and...

<b>BREAN AND MOSS BREEZE PAST THE SET, INTO A MOVIE MAKING SCENE.  TWENTY PEOPLE
</b><b>CLUSTERED AROUND A YOUNG GIRL IN TRADITIONAL ALBANIAN DRESS WHOSE HEADSHOT
</b><b>WE SAW EARLIER, BEING FUSSED-UP AND TWEAKED BY HAIR AND MAKE-UP.
</b>
<b>                          MOSS
</b>            Good morning, My name's Stanley Moss, I'll be your
            director this morning, what I'd like you to do, Miss,
            what is your name...

<b>                          ALBANIAN TYPE
</b>            Trudy Larouche.

<b>                          MOSS
</b>            ..."Trudy," is, to start at that wall...
<b>                    (HE GESTURES AT THE SWEEP)
</b>            and, on my signal, "action" to run toward me,
            screaming ...they taking care of you...?  Good.  You
            wanna cuppa <u>tea</u>?  Okay.  Can we just try one, just for
            the...

<b>                          TRUDY
</b>            I understand this is going to be <u>National</u>?  Is that the
            case?  Because my agent didn't get a chance to...

<b>THEY ARE WALKED OVER TO AN AREA IN WHICH WE FIND THE PET WRANGLER, SURROUNDED
</b><b>BY SEVERAL ANIMAL CASES WITH DOGS IN THEM.
</b><b>MOSS, AS HE SPEAKS, IS SURVEYING THE DOGS.
</b>
<b>                          MOSS
</b>            Well, it's a little bit of a...

<b>                          A.D.
</b>            ...we're going for a direct buy-out.

<b>                          MOSS
</b>            ...you have your agent check with the...

<b>                          TRUDY
</b>            No, I know it's going to be fine.  I'm so excited, and
            I'm looking forward to putting it on my resume.  When
            you <u>called</u> last...

<b>BREAN TAKES TRUDY ASIDE.
</b>
<b>                          BREAN
</b>            Eh, Trudy, could I <u>talk</u> to you for a moment...?  You
            know, this project is a... "Funny" kind of...

<b>HE WALKS HER ASIDE.  MOSS SELECTS A DOG, AND AMES COMES OVER TO HIM, HOLDING
</b><b>A CELLPHONE.
</b>
<b>                          AMES
</b><b>                    (DESCRIBING THE SCENE, INTO THE PHONE)
</b>            A schnauzer.  What appears to be a...

<b>                          PET WRANGLER
</b>            Lhasa Apso.

<b>                          AMES
</b><b>                    (INTO PHONE)
</b>            Lhasa Apso, and a...
<b>         
</b><b>HE LOOKS AT THE THIRD DOG.
</b>
<b>                          PET WRANGLER
</b>            What you have here is a cross-breed, between a dog
            which was substantially a...

<b>AMES GESTURES HIM FOR SILENCE, AS HE LISTENS TO THE PHONE.
</b>
<b>                          AMES
</b><b>                    (INTO THE PHONE)
</b>            Abso... absolutely, sir... Absolutely.
<b>                    (TO MOSS)
</b>            He wants a kitten.
<b>                    (PAUSE)
</b>
<b>                          MOSS
</b><b>                    (TAKING CHARGE)
</b>            Okay.  Here's what we're gonna do.

<b>HE GESTURES TO HIS ASSISTANT, WHO COMES OVER FOR A CONFERENCE.
</b>
<b>                          MOSS
</b><b>                    (CONT.)
</b>            I need a little bit of <u>help</u>...?

<b>ANGLE ON BREAN WALKING TRUDY.  HE GESTURES TO AMES.
</b>
<b>                          AMES
</b>            Miss, we are going to ask you to sign this little sheet
            of <u>paper</u>...

<b>                          TRUDY
</b>            Well, my agent would be ril ril miffed with me, if I
            signed anything, uh, to...

<b>                          AMES
</b>            This does not have to do with your Deal.  This is for
            your Security Clearance.
<b>                    (PAUSE)
</b>
<b>HE TAKES OUT A SHEET OF PAPER FROM HIS POCKET.
</b><b>THEIR WALK HAS BROUGHT THEM AND THE CAMERA BACK TO MOSS AND THE ASSISTANT, AND
</b><b>THE DIRECTOR.
</b>
<b>                          DIRECTOR
</b><b>                    (TO MOSS)
</b>            ...fix it in the mix.

<b>                          ASSISTANT
</b>            We're going to do it digitally...

<b>                          MOSS
</b>            ...can we shoot one?

<b>                          DIRECTOR
</b>            Alright, now we're gonna...

<b>THE PET WRANGLER HANDS A DOG TO TRUDY.  THE ASSISTANT WAVES HIM OFF, AND
</b><b>LOOKS AROUND, AND HANDS HER A BAG OF POTATO CHIPS.
</b>
<b>                          ASSISTANT
</b>            ...run with this...

<b>                          TRUDY
</b>            ...these'r potato chips...

<b>                          DIRECTOR
</b>            Just, uh, just hold the bag when you run.

<b>                          MOSS
</b><b>                    (TO BREAN)
</b>            We need it for the Arm Position, on the screen it'll be
            a kitten.

<b>                          TRUDY
</b>            Someone's bringing in a kitten...?

<b>                          MOSS
</b>            No, no, no.... we'll punch <u>in</u> a kitten.  Um... <u>Later</u>.

<b>                          TRUDY
</b>            ...you're gonna Punch in a Kitten Later.

<b>                          MOSS
</b>            Yes.
<b>                    (PAUSE)
</b>
<b>                          TRUDY
</b>            Why...?

<b>                          A.D.
</b>            Okay, settle, people.  Settle... we're gonna try
            one...

<b>                          MOSS
</b>            It gives us a wider option.

<b>                          TRUDY
</b>            A wider option of what?

<b>                          MOSS
</b><b>                    (DISTRACTED)
</b>            ...of kittens...

<b>TWO HAIR AND MAKE-UP WOMEN JUMP IN, AND START TWEAKING TRUDY, AS MOSS'S
</b><b>ATTENTION IS DIVERTED ELSEWHERE.
</b><b>TRUDY ADDRESSES HERSELF TO BREAN.
</b>
<b>                          TRUDY
</b>            ...but, you know, all kidding aside.  When this goes
            National.... I get to put it on my resume.

<b>                          BREAN
</b><b>                    (WHO IS DIALING A PHONE)
</b>            Actually, no.

<b>                          TRUDY
</b>            Because, like, what is it, a <u>Guild</u> thing?  I mean,
            what, what, what could they do to me...

<b>                          BREAN
</b>            ...someone would come to your house and kill you.
<b>                    (TO PHONE)
</b>            <u>Hello</u>... we're about to start shooting...

<b>                          A.D.
</b><b>                    (TO HAIR AND MAKE-UP)
</b>            Hey, hey, hey, she's ... will you?  She's just been
            raped by <u>Terrorists</u>, jump <u>out</u>, will you...

<b>THE A.D. SHOOS HAIR AND MAKE-UP AWAY.
</b><b>CAMERA GOES WITH BREAN, PAST AMES, WHO IS ADDRESSING HIMSELF TO THE A.D.
</b>
<b>                          AMES
</b>            And...she's not an Illegal Immigrant?  Is she?  Can I
            see her "chart?"  Because...

<b>                          MOSS
</b>            Gonna be fine.  Gonna be fine, people?  Are we getting
            there...?

<b>BREAN WANDERS BACK TO THE CONTROL BOOTH WHERE WE SEE THE SCENE ON SEVERAL
</b><b>MONITORS AND THE YOUNG GIRL, STANDING AGAINST THE BARE SWEEP ON THE BACK WALL.
</b><b>WE HEAR "ACTION" AND THE YOUNG GIRL RUNS FORWARD.  WE HEAR THE TECHNICIANS
</b><b>MUTTERING, AND THEY PUNCH UP A PLAYBACK, AND WE SEE THE SAME RUN-FORWARD,
</b><b>REPLAYED AGAINST AN "ALBANIAN VILLAGE" SCENE.
</b>
<b>                          TECHNICIAN
</b>            ...gimme some flames...

<b>AS HE SPEAKS, FLAMES ARE ADDED TO THE SCENE...
</b>
<b>                          TECHNICIAN
</b>            ...some sound of Screaming...?
<b>                    (SCREAMING IS ADDED)
</b>            ...whoo-aahh sirens?  Anne Frank?...

<b>THE SIRENS ARE ADDED.
</b><b>MOSS COMES INTO THE CONTROL BOOTH, AND TALKS TO THE ACTOR.
</b>
<b>ANGLE
</b><b>ON AMES AND BREAN, IN THE CONTROL ROOM.
</b>
<b>                          AMES
</b>            ...can we see the Kitten...?

<b>THE PHONE RINGS, AMES PICKS UP HIS CELLPHONE.
</b>
<b>                          AMES
</b><b>                    (CONT.)
</b>            <u>Hello</u>... Yes.  We'll be back...?

<b>                          BREAN
</b>            We'll be back tonight.

<b>                          AMES
</b><b>                    (TO PHONE)
</b>            Tonight.
<b>                    (HE HANGS UP)
</b>            Well, you've started a Tempest in a Teapot.

<b>                          BREAN
</b>            Waal, that's where you <u>want</u> em...

<b>                          AMES
</b>            ...I just hope...

<b>                          MOSS
</b><b>                    (TO TRUDY)
</b>            Do it again, love, will you...?  We'll tell you before
            we're going to shoot...

<b>WE SEE ON THE MONITOR THE YOUNG GIRL RUNNING WITH THE BAG OF POTATO CHIPS,
</b><b>VARIOUS BURNING BUILDINGS IN THE B.G.
</b>
<b>                          MOSS
</b>            ...could she be running across a <u>bridge</u>?  She's running
            across a Burning Bridge.

<b>ONE OF THE TECHNICIANS' FACES LIGHTS UP.
</b>
<b>                          TECHNICIAN
</b><b>                    (TO HIMSELF)
</b>            ....beautiful.

<b>WE PLAYBACK THE LAST RUNTHROUGH, AND THE GIRL IS NOW RUNNING ACROSS A BRIDGE.
</b>
<b>                          MOSS
</b><b>                    (LEANS IN TO TALK WITH THE TECH PEOPLE)
</b>            Of course, we're gonna need some <u>water</u>, uh...

<b>                          TECHNICIAN
</b>            Is it a <u>stream</u>, or is it a...

<b>                          MOSS
</b>            No, I think..

<b>                          TECHNICIAN
</b>            a "pond," or

<b>                          MOSS
</b>            No, I think it's ... can we see the calico <u>kitten</u>...?

<b>AS HE SPEAKS THE BAG OF CHIPS IS TRANSFORMED INTO A CALICO KITTEN.
</b>
<b>                          AMES
</b><b>                    (ON HIS PHONE)
</b>            A small, "calico" kitten, sir.
<b>                    (PAUSE)
</b>            "Calico."
<b>                    (PAUSE)
</b>
<b>                          AMES
</b><b>                    (TO MOSS)
</b>            ...can we have a white one...?

<b>                          MOSS
</b><b>                    (TO DIRECTOR)
</b>            Can we have a white one, please...

<b>AS THEY SPEAK THE BROWN KITTEN IS TRANSFORMED INTO A WHITE ONE.
</b>
<b>                          MOSS
</b><b>                    (CONT)
</b>            You know, if we're gonna run with the kitten, maybe it
            turns out, the Kitten has a <u>Name</u>, and...

<b>                          DIRECTOR
</b>            We ready out there...?

<b>BREAN LOOKS DOWN AT HIS WATCH, AND TAPS AMES ON THE SHOULDER, AS HE EASES HIS
</b><b>WAY PAST THE CONTROL CONSOLE.
</b>
<b>                          AMES
</b><b>                    (ENGROSSED)
</b>            ...one moment...

<b>INT L.A.X. DAY.
</b>
<b>A POSTER FILLS THE SCREEN.  IT IS A NORMAL ROCKWELL SORT OF THING SHOWING
</b><b>HAPPY AND PROUD AMERICANS OUTSIDE OF A VOTING BOOTH.  AND IT READS:  "DON'T
</b><b>FORGET TO VOTE.  NOVEMBER 2ND.  IT'S YOUR DUTY -- IT'S YOUR RIGHT."
</b>

<b>                          PRESIDENT'S VOICE
</b><b>                    (VO)
</b>            ...a state of War.
<b>                    (PAUSE)
</b>            That a State of War...

<b>PAN OFF THE POSTER TO SHOW THE GATE AREA, MANY PEOPLE WAITING, WATCHING A
</b><b>TELEVISION SET, ON WHICH WE SEE THE PRESIDENT.
</b>
<b>                          PRESIDENT
</b><b>                    (CONT.)
</b>            ...exists...

<b>A TELEVISION SET, THE PRESIDENT ON THE TELEVISION.
</b>
<b>                          PRESIDENT
</b>            ...between the United States and Republic of Albania,

            and that the Congress Authorize any and all measures
            consonant with a swift and painless, and <u>victorious</u>
            conclusion of that War.

<b>ANGLE
</b><b>BUSINESS PEOPLE QUEUING UP, AT THE TV, BEYOND THEM, THE DEPARTURE GATE,
</b><b>SHOWING A SIGN, AMERICAN AIRLINES FLIGHT _____ TO WASHINGTON D.C.
</b><b>IN THE FOREGROUND, BREAN, ON A CELLPHONE, PAYS NO ATTENTION TO THE SCREEN, AS
</b><b>HE STANDS IN LINE.
</b>
<b>                          BREAN
</b><b>                    (ON THE PHONE)
</b>            Go with a <u>two</u>-tone hat, <u>I</u> don't care, <u>you</u> work it out.
            <u>You</u>, well, I'm sure you've had similar problems in the
            past.  Good.  Good.  Keep me ppp... Fine, I'll call you
            from the plane.

<b>THE TICKET TAKER, TAKING HIS TICKET, IS SHAKING HIS HEAD AT THE TELEVISION, ON
</b><b>WHICH WE SEE AN ANNOUNCER/COMMENTATOR, DOING, "YOU HAVE JUST HEARD," ET.
</b><b>CETERA.
</b>
<b>                          TICKET TAKER
</b>            Hell of a thing.  <u>Hell</u> of a thing.

<b>                          BREAN
</b>            Innit?

<b>                          TICKET TAKER
</b>            Albanian Terrorists on the Canadian Border.

<b>                          BREAN
</b><b>                    (ABOUT TO GET ONTO THE PLANE)
</b>            ...makes you think.

<b>IN THE B.G, WE SEE THE TELEVISION HAS GONE TO A COMMERCIAL, TWO BUSINESSMEN
</b><b>TYPES, EACH PARKING HIS STATION WAGON IN HIS DRIVEWAY.
</b>
<b>                           TYPE ONE
</b>            Ed, what do you think?

<b>                           TYPE TWO
</b>            Bob, my mind wasn't one hundred percent made up,  but
            now  it is:  <u>I</u> say:  don't go changing Horses in
            Midstream...

<b>BREAN, HEARING THIS, WALKS BACK TO THE NOW DESERTED TELEVISION.
</b>
<b>ANGLE
</b><b>FROM THE JETWAY THE DOOR ABOUT TO CLOSE, BREAN IN THE B.G. WATCHING THE
</b><b>INFOMERCIAL.  THE TICKET TAKER CALLS TO HIM, "...SIR...?"  BREAN TURNS AND
</b><b>RUSHES TO THE CLOSING DOOR.  ON THE TV, IN THE BG, WE SEE THE LOGO:  "RE-ELECT
</b><b>THE PRESIDENT.  THIS MESSAGE PAID FOR BY..." ET CETERA.
</b>
<b>                          BREAN
</b><b>                    (INTO THE PHONE)
</b>            It's workmanlike, what can I tell you.... no, it ain't
            going to help, but it won't hurt, cool down, see you in
            Nashville.

<b>HE FOLDS UP HIS PHONE AND WALKS ONTO THE PLANE, IN THE B.G. WE SEE SENATOR
</b><b>NOLE, SPEAKING ON THE TELEVISION, THE REMAINING VIEWERS ARE DRIFTING AWAY.
</b>
<b>                          SENATOR NOLE
</b>            The issue of War, is, finally, an issue of Moral Fibre,
            <u>Moral</u> Fibre.  In my Platoon, in World War Two

<b>                          BREAN
</b><b>                    (ON THE PHONE)
</b>            You have the number in D.C.?  Good.  What time
            tonight... What...?
<b>                    (BREAN TURNS TO THE TELEVISION)
</b>
<b>BREAN COMES OVER TO AMES WHO IS ON THE PHONE, AND TALKING WITH LIZ BUTSKY, WHO
</b><b>IS SHOWING HIM SOME SKETCHES.
</b>
<b>                          LIZ
</b>            ...wanted to go with Roman Numerals... but there isn't
            a Roman Numeral for Zero, so, you can't really do THREE
            OH THREE, in Roman...

<b>                          BREAN
</b><b>                    (TURNING TO AMES, OF NOLE)
</b>            Why is this putz on the air...

<b>                          AMES
</b>            ... they're checking the ratings...uh...

<b>                          LIZ
</b>            ...and I wanted to ask you if you thought it made sense
            that the uniforms of the <u>Freedom</u> fighters were
            <u>starched</u>.
<b>                    (PAUSE)
</b>            I know that, <u>traditionally</u>,
<b>                    (SHE FLIPS A CARD AND WE SEE THE
</b><b>                    STARCHED UNIFORMED FREEDOM FIGHTER
</b><b>                    DRAWN BY HER)
</b>            ...they're <u>torn</u>, and so forth:  days-in-the-mountains,
            so on, but I thought...

<b>                          BREAN
</b><b>                    (INTO THE PHONE)
</b>            Why am I seeing this guy on the News...?
<b>                    (PAUSE)
</b>            What am I missing...?  What are we forgetting?

<b>                          AMES
</b>            Well, at least we're not seeing the Girlscouts...

<b>HE TURNS AROUND
</b><b>ANGLE, HIS POV.
</b><b>A YOUNG DISHEVELLED COLLEGE STUDENT TYPE.  HE WEARS A BUTTON ON HIS JACKET.
</b>
<b>ANGLE INS
</b><b>THE BUTTON READS, "FUCK ALBANIA"
</b>
<b>ANGLE
</b><b>AMES AND BREAN.
</b>
<b>                          AMES
</b><b>                    (OF THE BUTTON)
</b>            ...is that "<u>us"</u>...?

<b>BREAN AND LIZ BUTSKY SHAKE THEIR HEADS.
</b><b>AMES JUMPS UP IN THE AIR AND YELLS "YAY."
</b>
<b>                          SENATOR NOLE
</b>            <u>Especially</u> in a time of war.  Now:
            We said that <u>Moral</u> fibre, not guns, not supplies, not
            strategy, Moral...

<b>                          COMMENTATOR
</b><b>                    (INTERRUPTING)
</b>            ...Senator...?

<b>                          SENATOR NOLE
</b>            And this man, our President, in what I hope will be his
            last days in that office, has proved himself empty and
            <u>devoid</u> of...

<b>A SMALL CHILD COMES OVER TO THE TELEVISION AND CHANGES THE CHANNEL.
</b>
<b>INT DULLES AIRPORT ARRIVALS AREA, DUSK.
</b>
<b>BREAN AND AMES COMING OFF OF THE PLANE, BREAN STOPS AT THE FREE PERIODICALS
</b><b>DISPLAY.  SAMPLE HEADLINES READ:
</b>
<u>DEFENSE OF THE REALM:  TERRORISM ALONG THE BORDER:  THE PRESIDENT:  ALL SPUNK:
CALL TO THE COLORS:  DEFEND THE NORTH, ETC.</u>

<b>HE PICKS UP SEVERAL, AND CAMERA FOLLOWS HIM DOWN A HALL, PAST A HUGE POSTER
</b><b>SHOWING OPPRESSED COMMUNIST HORDES, AND THE MOTTO "THEY DIDN'T HAVE THE
</b>CHOICE, YOU <u>DO</u>.  <u>VOTE!</u>  IT'S YOUR RIGHT!"

<b>ANGLE
</b><b>TIGHT ON BREAN AND AMES, AND A FELLOW PASSENGER, AS ALL SCAN THEIR NEWSPAPERS.
</b><b>THE PASSENGER IS WAITING IN LINE TO USE A PAY PHONE.
</b>
<b>                          BREAN
</b><b>                    (AS HE NUDGES AMES)
</b>            Can't find anything in here about the President and
            that girlscout.

<b>                          PASSENGER
</b>            ...what are you <u>talking</u> about...  What does that mean
            <u>now</u>, are you <u>nuts</u>...?

<b>THE PASSENGER MOVES UP IN TURN TO TAKE THE PHONE, HE DIALS.
</b>
<b>                          PASSENGER
</b><b>                    (INTO PHONE)
</b>            Hello, Honey.... NO.  I'm safe.  In about an hour.
            Have you got Grandma and the kids in...?  Well, where
            am I <u>talking</u> to you?  Well, who has the Shotgun?  Go
            Down in the Basement.  Well, get the <u>long</u> cord, and...
            isn't there a jack down there...  Well, <u>move</u>, the
            canned goods, and...

<b>THE LINE BREAN AND AMES ARE IN MOVES FORWARD, PAST THE MAN ON THE TELEPHONE.
</b>
<b>TIGHT ON AMES AND BREAN, AS THEY MOVE FORWARD, THEY SPEAK UNDER THEIR BREATH.
</b>
<b>                          AMES
</b><b>                    (SHAKING HIS HEAD)
</b>            ...hell of a price for the country to pay.

<b>                          BREAN
</b>            ...take a long view.

<b>                          AMES
</b>            ...what's the Long View?

<b>                          BREAN
</b>            Your guy gets four more years in Washington...  ...it's
            only Nine More Days.

<b>                          AMES
</b>            Yes.  That's true.  But...

<b>                          BREAN
</b><b>                    (SMILES)
</b>            Wilfred.  We've got <u>work</u> to do...

<b>THE LINE THEY ARE IN STOPS.  BREAN LOOKS UP.
</b>
<b>ANGLE, HIS P.O.V.
</b><b>A LINE OF SERVICEMEN, ARMED WITH SUBMACHINE GUNS, STANDS BARRING THE ARRIVING
</b><b>PASSENGERS AN EXIT.  THE PASSENGERS ARE HERDED INTO LINES, TO GO THROUGH
</b><b>MAKESHIFT BARRICADES, AND METAL DETECTORS.
</b>
<b>ANGLE
</b><b>BREAN, AND ANOTHER PASSENGER.
</b>
<b>                          BREAN
</b>            ...what the hell's <u>this</u> all about, d'you think?

<b>                          PASSENGER
</b>            ...small price to pay, pal...

<b>HE APES THE PRESIDENT, WHO'S SAID THAT EARLIER.
</b>
<b>BREAN LOOKS UP, AS AMES, ACCOMPANIED BY AN ARMY MAJOR, PASSES THROUGH
</b><b>LINE AND APPROACHES BREAN, BECKONING.
</b>
<b>INT SUBURBAN MALL NIGHT.
</b>
<b>BREAN, AND AMES, AND TWO SECRET SERVICE TYPES, WALKING THROUGH THE MALL.
</b><b>BREAN GLANCES AT A FOODSTORE, WHERE WE SEE A LONG LINE OF PEOPLE WAITING TO BE
</b><b>ADMITTED, AND A VAST LINE INSIDE, AT THE CHECK OUT COUNTER, THEIR CARTS PILED
</b><b>HIGH, THE SHELVES BEHIND THEM DENUDED.
</b>
<b>THEY PASS BY A SHOESTORE, CLOSED, A PLYWOOD SCREEN IN FRONT, COVERED BY A
</b><b>SIGN:  SOON TO REOPEN UNDER NEW MANAGEMENT.  BREAN FOLLOWS AMES, INTO THE
</b><b>STORE.
</b>
INT SHOESTORE NIGHT.  MANY YOUNG STAFFERS.  A VAST SIGN READS:  <u>DAYS TIL
ELECTION 8. % IN FAVOR?</u>

<b>THE STAFFERS STAND IMMOBILE, AS BREAN, AMES, AND THE SECRET SERVICE TYPES
</b><b>ENTER.  ON A TELEVISION, UNWATCHED BEHIND THEM.  A FOREST SCENE, A SQUAD OF
</b><b>SERVICEMEN IN WOODLAND CAMO, LOOKING DOWN AT A RIVER, THEIR LEADER SPEAKING
</b><b>SOFTLY INTO A MICROPHONE.
</b>
<b>                          LEADER
</b>            ...scared.  Sure we're scared.  But th'fella said the
            trick is not minding that it hurts.  N'Ill tell you <u>one</u>
            thing:  They might get into the U.S.A., but they'll
            have to get in over Mrs. Kelly's son...
<b>                    (HE TAPS HIMSELF ON THE CEEST)
</b>
<b>THE SCREEN GOES TO A SCENE OF SUPERMARKET LOOTING IN AN INNER CITY.  A STAND-
</b><b>UP COMMENTATOR SPEAKS.
</b>
<b>                          COMMENTATOR
</b>            ...dead and fifteen wounded in these first hours of the
            War.  They are not, they are not The Enemy, they are
            people, like You and Me, a <u>different</u> kind of Victim of
            Albanian Aggression, but Victims Nonetheless...


<b>ANGLE
</b><b>BREAN, GIVEN THE TOUR BY AMES.
</b>
<b>                          AMES
</b>            Telexes to the major...

<b>HE IS SHUSSHED BY A YOUNG AIDE, STANDING, HIS EAR TO A PHONE.  ON THE TV WE
</b><b>SEE THE DECK OF AN AIRCRAFT CARRIER, AND A REPORTER SPEAKING, AS PLANES TAKE
</b><b>OFF.
</b>
<b>                          REPORTER
</b>            Missions into Albanian Airspace.  Missions to <u>Kill</u> or
            Die.  American Men, and, yes, and women, in the prime
            of their lives, but never closer to death, while...

<b>ANGLE, ON BREAN, AS HE TURNS TO LOOK AT ANOTHER SCREEN.  ON THAT TV SCREEN WE
</b><b>SEE A SOB-SISTER TYPE
</b>
<b>                          SOB SISTER REPORTER TYPE
</b>            ...fighting, yes, but fighting for what?

<b>THE SCREEN IS FILLED WITH THE PHOTO OF THE YOUNG ALBANIAN WOMAN, WHO IS NOW
</b><b>HOLDING TWO CATS.
</b>
<b>                          SOB SISTER REPORTER TYPE
</b>            For this.  For <u>this</u>.  For Freedom, for <u>safety</u> -- yes,
            theirs and ours.

<b>BREAN HEARS A WHOOSH, AND TURNS TO LOOK BACK AT THE SCREEN OF THE JETS TAKING
</b><b>OFF.
</b>
<b>TV SCREEN, WITH JETS.
</b>
<b>                          ANNOUNCER
</b><b>                    (VO)
</b>            The sound of Freedom?  Yes, Perhaps the sound of
            Death... <u>but</u>....

<b>BREAN LOOKING AT THE SCREEN, BEHIND HIM HE HEARS A VAST CHEER, HE TURNS.
</b><b>THE AIDE WITH THE PHONE TO HIS EAR HAS PICKED UP A PIECE OF CHALK, AND IS
</b>WRITING, ON THE <u>% IN FAVOR</u> SLATE THE FIGURE 71%.
<b>THE AIDES ARE CHEERING, AND SLAPPING EACH OTHER ON THE BACK.
</b>
<b>INT, IMPROVISED OFFICE, IN THE SHOE STOCKROOM.  NIGHT.
</b>
<b>A STOCKROOM LINED WTTH SHOEBOXES, IN IT A DESK, TWO CHAIRS, A TELEVISION.
</b><b>AMES ENTERS, OPENS THE DESK AND TAKES OUT A BOTTLE.  HE HANDS IT TO BREAN,
</b><b>WHO ENTERS AFTER HIM.  ON THE WALL IS ANOTHER SET OF SIGNS, READING DAYS TILL
</b><b>ELECTION 8, AND % IN FAVOR WHICH AMES NOW FILLS IN 71.  AMES PICKS UP A SHEAF
</b><b>OF PAPERS FROM THE DESK.
</b>
<b>                          AMES
</b>            New York Times, Wash Post, Detroit Register, San Diego
            BEE, all in emission.  <u>No</u> mention of the Girlscout.
            None.

<b>                          BREAN
</b>            Eight Days To Go
<b>                    (HE GESTURES AT THE CALENDER)
</b>
<b>                          AMES
</b>            I <u>live</u> for midnight, when I can tear another of those
            suckers off.  Watcha got for me?

<b>                          BREAN
</b>            Big Bird touches down <u>when</u>?

<b>                          AMES
</b>            We're bring'n im in tomorrow, five AM.

<b>                          BREAN
</b>            Anything at the Airport?

<b>                          AMES
</b>            Press thought "no," whaddaya think...?

<b>                          BREAN
</b><b>                    (NODS)
</b>            <u>I</u> think, here's what I think:  S'it gonna rain...?
<b>                    (HE CHECKS A NOTEBOOK)
</b>
<b>                          AMES
</b><b>                    (YELLING)
</b>            Gimme the weather for tomorrow morning, five A.M.
            Andrews...

<b>                          BREAN
</b><b>                    (CHECKING HIS NOTEBOOK)
</b>            An <u>Albanian</u>, a young Albanian Girl.

<b>AN AIDE APPEARS WITH A TEARSHEET.  AMES READS IT.
</b>
<b>                          AMES
</b>            No rain.

<b>                          BREAN
</b><b>                    (SHRUGS, NONETHELESS)
</b>            A young Albanian Girl, dressed in their...

HE GESTURES, MEANING, "WHATEVER THEY WEAR, <u>YOU</u> FIGURE IT OUT..." AMES NODS TO
<b>THE AIDE, WHO BEGINS SCRIBBLING IN A PAD.
</b>
<b>                          BREAN
</b>            And carrying.
<b>                    (HE GESTURES, MEANING, LOOK IT UP)
</b>            The National Flower of Albania, something..... Now Is
            it some Festival?  Some <u>Harvest</u> Festival, something...

<b>                          AMES
</b><b>                    (TO THE AIDE)
</b>            Get on this, right now...

<b>                          BREAN
</b>            ...got to be <u>something</u>.  She gives him the sacred...
<b>                    (HE GESTURES, WHAT-HAVE-YOU)
</b>            And tells him:  this is the Traditional Harvest
            Offering, given to the Man who Ties the First Sheaf,
            the last sheaf, whatever the fuck it is...

<b>                          AMES
</b>            ...this's <u>good</u>...

<b>                          BREAN
</b>            Stanley Moss, Ladeesngennlmen... And she says...

<b>                          AMES
</b>            Is she saying this in Albanian...?

<b>                          BREAN
</b><b>                    (OF NOTES)
</b>            <u>Yes</u>:  she is saying this in Albanian, <u>but</u> she's doing
            it not to be uh...
<b>                    (AMES GESTURES, MEANING, "I GET IT")
</b>            But because, she explains, that is the only way it can
            be understood by her Aged and Sainted Mother, who is
            standing there with her, dressed in her Traditional...

<b>AMES GESTURES TO THE AIDE, MEANING, "GET TO IT,"  THE AIDE NODS HER
</b><b>UNDERSTANDING, AND DISAPPEARS.
</b>
<b>                          BREAN
</b><b>                    (TO DISAPPEARING AIDE)
</b>            C'n I get something to <u>eat</u>...?  Now the Old Broad
            starts to speak:  you are bringing peace.  Not only to
            <u>This</u> Land...

<b>                          AMES
</b>            Our adopted land...

<b>                          BREAN
</b>            ...but to the Old World; you are stilling the forces of
            hatred and of War which have, since I was a child...

<b>                          AMES
</b>            ...uh huh...

<b>                          BREAN
</b>            Now, the Old Lady starts to <u>Weep</u>, Big Bird shrugs off
            his secret <u>Service</u>, goes to her, and covers her with
            his own coat.

<b>                          AMES
</b><b>                    (CALLING OUT)
</b>            Find out is there <u>any</u> chance we can get some rain
            tomorrow, <u>will</u> you...?

<b>                          BREAN
</b><b>                    (OF PAD)
</b>            <u>So</u> forth...

<b>AMES STOPS TO LOOK AT ANOTHER COMMERCIAL ON TV.  THEY TURN TO SEE TWO "YOUNG
</b><b>MOTHER" TYPES, SHOPPING...
</b>
<b>                          YOUNG MOTHER ONE
</b>            ...to vote for.

<b>                          YOUNG MOTHER TWO
</b>            Well, <u>I</u> think it's like when we thought of Changing
            Tommy's Pediatrician.  <u>Bill</u> said, "Not While he's <u>sick</u>
            --  cause you Don't Change Horses in the mid..."

<b>BREAN TURNS OFF THE VOLUME, AND CONTINUES.
</b>
<b>                          BREAN
</b>            How is Big Bird holding up, by the way?

<b>                          AMES
</b>            Catching up on his reading.  Asked about you, sends his
            thanks.

<b>                          BREAN
</b>            Knock on wood.

<b>                          AMES
</b>            Speaking of thanks... we puttem back in, what does
            your fellow Moss want?

<b>                          BREAN
</b>            <u>I</u> dunno.... Ambassador to <u>Togo</u>, somethin', <u>I</u> dunno...
            he...

<b>                          AMES
</b>            Maybe he's just a <u>patriot</u>.

<b>                          BREAN
</b>            Yeah...what was I talking about...?

<b>AN AIDE APPEARS WITH A SANDWICH, AND BREAN STARTS TO EAT.
</b>
<b>                          AMES
</b>            How long you been up, you need a nap.

<b>                          BREAN
</b><b>                    (SHAKING HIS HEAD)
</b>            Due in Nashville.

<b>                          AMES
</b>            <u>Nashville</u>...?

<b>                          BREAN
</b>            We're gonna do the <u>Team Song</u>.

<b>                          AMES
</b>            You're tired, Ronnie.

<b>                          BREAN
</b>            Y'wanna follow the Cattle Drive?  Sleep in the Winter.
            What does <u>Moss</u> want...?  Matchmaker comes to the
            Levinsky Family.  Mr. Levinsky, Mrs. Levinsky, would
            you entertain an offer of marriage for your son Saul,
            from Princess Margaret of Great Britain.  Well, they
            think, she isn't Jewish, but she's well to-do, a nice
            old family.  Alright, yes, they say.  We would
            consider such an offer.  Wonderful, matchmaker says,
            My Job is Half Done.
<b>                    (HE YAWNS)
</b>            Now, Look:  I got the <u>file</u>, from the L.A. contingent, I
            got the day-by-day, of how...

<b>HE LOOKS AT AMES, WHO IS LOOKING INTENTLY AT THE TV.
</b>
<b>                          ANNOUNCER
</b><b>                    (AS AMES TURNS UP THE SOUND)
</b>            ...denial from the Albanian Government continues, but
            <u>this</u> tape, just in...

<b>THE SCREEN SWITCHES TO SHOTS OF TRUDY LAROUCHE, IN ALBANIAN GARB, RUNNING
</b><b>TOWARD THE CAMERA, OVER A BRIDGE ACROSS A SMALL STREAM, IN THE B.G. HER
</b><b>BURNING HOUSE, SIRENS, AND THE SOUNDS OF SHOTS, AT WHICH TRUDY COLLAPSES,
</b><b>CONVULSED WITH SOBS.
</b>
<b>                          ANNOUNCER
</b>            ...just having heard her family shot.  For the crime of
            non-cooperation with Albanian Authorities.  Apparently,
            they had a family connection in Canada, along the US
            border and refused to exploit it to aid the Terrorists
            to infiltrate this country.
<b>                    (BEAT)
</b>            They paid with their lives.

<b>                          AMES
</b>            ...this is magnificent.

<b>                          BREAN
</b>            ...Stanley Moss...

<b>                          AMES
</b>            8 days and we bring it back home....

<b>BREAN RISES, STRETCHES.
</b>
<b>SOMEBODY SWITCHES THE CHANNEL, AND WE SEE A NEWSMAN DOING A STANDUP IN FRONT
</b><b>OF A STREETVENDOR, WHO HAS A BOARD FULL OF BUTTONS.  THE CAMERA PANS OVER THE
</b>BUTTONS, WE SEE THE "FUCK ALBANIA," AND WE SEE ONE READING "RUN FROM <u>ALBANIA</u>?
TELL ME <u>ANOTHER</u> ONE..."  AND T-SHIRTS SHOWING SIMILAR LOGOS.

<b>ANGLE
</b><b>ON BREAN AND AMES SITTING AROUND.
</b><b>AMES LOOKS AT HIM INQUISITIVELY.
</b>
<b>                          BREAN
</b>            None of these are ours.  <u>None</u> of em are ours....
<b>                    (HE SMILES AT AMES)
</b>            ....that's <u>real politik</u>, Buddy.

<b>                          AMES
</b>            Waal, I gotta tell you.  I've been inside the Beltway
            fourteen years, and I feel like I Just Got My Feet Wet.

<b>THEY KICK BACK, AND WATCH THE TELEVISION, SHOWING IMAGES OF THE TANKS ALONG
</b><b>THE CANADIAN BORDER.
</b>
<b>                          AMES
</b>            And if you <u>think</u> about it:  if you <u>think</u> about it, what
            <u>Is</u> war...?  What <u>is</u> war?  I mean, aside from the
            <u>killing</u>, and, all... <u>that</u> isn't so pleasant, ... you in
            the Service...?
<b>                    (PAUSE)
</b>
<b>BREAN, UNSEEN BY AMES, GETS UP AND GOES TO THE DOOR TO LISTEN.
</b>
<b>                          AMES
</b><b>                    (CONT.)
</b>            ...and I'll tell you another thing.  President said to
            me:  When this thing... "happened."  "It <u>looks</u> like the
            Building's falling.  <u>But</u>, <u>these</u> are the times..." and I
            wish what he said, we could have used it on TV, and, as
            a matter of fact, we <u>can</u>, if we...
<b>                    (HE LOOKS AROUND, SEES BREAN STANDING
</b><b>                    BY THE DOOR.)
</b>            Look here, <u>here's</u> an idea... Here's an idea...
<b>                    (HE WALKS OVER TO THE DOOR.)
</b>            Turn it on it's head.  If we're ahead in the <u>polls</u>,
            well, hell, <u>this</u> is the time to <u>capitalize</u> on it.  What
            do you think?  Get <u>ahead</u> of them, <u>use</u> the percentage
            points to push forward some of the long-<u>term</u> goals:
            <u>housing</u>, health-care ref...

<b>BREAN GESTURES FOR SILENCE.  HE AND AMES LISTEN INTENTLY, THE HUBBUB IN THE
</b><b>ADJOINING ROOM (THE SHOESTORE) HAS PASSED.  IT IS SILENT.  AMES AND BREAN PEEK
</b><b>AROUND THE WALL OF SHOEBOXES.
</b>
<b>ANGLE THEIR POV
</b>
<b>THE AIDES, IMMOBILE.  FIVE VERY FIT YOUNG MEN IN SUITS STAND NEAR THE
</b><b>ENTRANCE.  ONE YALIE-LOOKING FELLOW IN HIS THIRTIES WALKS THROUGH THEIR MIDST,
</b><b>FROM THE ENTRANCE.  HE STOPS FOR A MOMENT AT A TELEVISION, WHICH IS GLARING A
</b><b>COMMERCIAL FOR LAUNDRY SOAP, AND FLICKS IT OFF, ONE OF HIS FIT YOUNG MEN
</b><b>INCLINES HIS HEAD TOWARD THE REAR OF THE STORE, AND MR. YOUNG WALKS TOWARD THE
</b><b>REAR.
</b>
<b>THE YALIE COMES INTO A FITTING AREA.  SEVERAL OF THE SMALL BENCHES USED FOR
</b><b>TRYING ON SHOES... TO AMES AND BREAN.
</b>
<b>                          YALIE
</b>            Who might be the Boss Hog in this operation?
<b>                    (PAUSE)
</b>
<b>                          BREAN
</b>            Feel free to talk to me.

<b>YALIE NODS
</b>
<b>                          YALIE
</b>            Cheezit-the-Cops.

<b>                          AMES
</b><b>                    (TO HIMSELF)
</b>            Ohmigod...

<b>INT OFFICE SUITE, NIGHT.
</b>
<b>BREAN AND AMES SITTING ON A COUCH.  THE YALIE SITTING BEHIND A LARGE DESK,
</b><b>WATCHING A SMALL TELEVISION ON WHICH WE SEE A REPORTER, STANDING NEXT TO
</b><b>SEVERAL VERY GRIM LOOKING MEN IN PARK POLICE SMOKEY HATS.  IN A FOREST, BELOW
</b><b>THEM, A LINE OF TANKS FADING ALONG A RIVER.
</b>
<b>                          REPORTER
</b>            ...awaiting the arrival of The President back on
            American Soil.  To still the fears, to answer the
            <u>questions</u> of this troubled land.  Here, along a border
            once considered more Imaginary than real, I'm Mike
            Stears, at latitude 45, along the Canadian Border.

<b>ANGLE
</b><b>BREAN LOOKS DOWN AT HIS WATCH.
</b>
<b>                          BREAN
</b>            ...I just missed my plane.

<b>                          AMES
</b>            You missed your <u>plane</u>?  My <u>life</u> is over.
<b>                    (PAUSE)
</b>            My <u>life</u> is over.  What have you <u>done</u> to me?  What have
            I done?
<b>                    (PAUSE)
</b>            Fourteen years of Public Service...

<b>                          BREAN
</b>            Well, keep your <u>wits</u> about you, and let's see if we
            can't...

<b>                          AMES
</b>            ...fourteen years...

<b>                          BREAN
</b>            ...brazen-it-through...

<b>                          AMES
</b>            Brazen it through?  Brazen it <u>through</u>?  They're going
            to hang us out to dry like the <u>laundry</u> --- do you know
            what we've <u>ddd</u>...

<b>THE BODYGUARD IN THE B.G. RAISES HIS FINGER TO HIS LIPS AND SHAKES HIS HEAD.
</b>
<b>                          AMES
</b>            Do you know what we've <u>done</u>, for Godsake?  Do you know
            what you've....

<b>A BODYGUARD IN THE B.G. SPEAKS UP.
</b>
<b>                          BODYGUARD
</b>            No talking, please.

<b>THROUGH IT ALL AMES SITS, WITH HIS HEAD IN HIS HANDS.
</b>
<b>A NEW REPORTER TAKES OVER ON TV, BEHIND HER A CHART, A GRAPH OF AN UPWARDLY
</b><b>MOVING LINE.
</b>
<b>                          REPORTER
</b>            With seven days to go before the election, the Fortunes
            of President...

THE DOOR OPENS, THE YALIE COMES TO ATTENTION, <u>MR. YOUNG</u>, A TWENTY-YEAR OLDER
<b>VERSION OF THE YALIE, ENTERS, CARRYING A CUP OF COFFEE, NO TIE, HAIR
</b><b>DISHEVELLED.
</b>
<b>                          MR. YOUNG
</b><b>                    (TO YALIE)
</b>            ...took you long enough.

<b>                          YALIE
</b>            Found'em as quick as we could, sir.

<b>                          MR. YOUNG
</b>            When I'm done with'em, we want to dump'em in the
            <u>District</u>, or stick'em out in the country, have the
            F.B.I. trip over'em?

<b>THE YALIE CONSULTS HIS NOTES.
</b>
<b>                          YALIE
</b>            Legal department says You Pick Em.  Depends on how big
            of a splash you want to make, how long you want them to
            Go Away for.

<b>                          AMES
</b><b>                    (SOTTO)
</b>            Oh, MiGod.

<b>BEAT, MR. YOUNG SHAKES HIS HEAD SADLY.
</b>
<b>                          MR. YOUNG
</b>            Guess who <u>I</u> am.

<b>                          AMES
</b>            I'd like to mention a few <u>names</u>, who...

<b>                          MR. YOUNG
</b><b>                    (LOOKING AT NOTES HE IS HANDED BY
</b><b>                    YALIE)
</b>            I know who you are, Mr. Ames.

<b>                          AMES
</b>            I was acting as a Private Citizen.  Nothing that I've
            done should be construed as reflecting on the orders or
            intentions of anyone with whom you may have reason to
            believe I am connected with.
<b>                    (PAUSE)
</b>            Or in whose <u>employ</u>...

<b>                          MR. YOUNG
</b>            Quite touching.

<b>                          AMES
</b>            And I take this <u>opportunity</u> to suggest that, equally,
            I admit to <u>nothing</u>, and that I would like my lawyer
            present.

<b>MR. YOUNG NODS.
</b>
<b>                          MR. YOUNG
</b>            Guess what?  We show, and N.S.A. confirms, there <u>are</u> no
            nuclear devices on the Canadian border.
<b>                    (PAUSE)
</b>            There are no nuclear devices in Albania.  Z'at put us
            in something of a pickle?
<b>                    (PAUSE)
</b>            Albania <u>has</u> no nuclear capacity.  Our spy satellites
            show "no secret terrorist camps" in The Albanian
            Hinterland.  The F.B.I. and the Border Patrol, And the
            R.C.M.P. report no repeat no untoward activity along
            our picturesque Canadian Border.  The Albanian
            Government is screaming its innocence, the world is
            listening.
<b>                    (PAUSE)
</b>            There is no War.

<b>                          BREAN
</b><b>                    (GESTURES AT THE TV, WHERE WE SEE TRUDY
</b><b>                    LAROUCHE RUNNING ACROSS THE BURNING
</b><b>                    BRIDGE)
</b>            Course there's a war.  I'm watching it on Television.

<b>                          MR. YOUNG
</b>            N'who might <u>you</u> be, when all's said and done?

<b>                          BREAN
</b>            My name is Ronald Brean.

<b>                          MR. YOUNG
</b>            Who're you working for?

<b>                          BREAN
</b>            Nobody whose name you want me to say, Mr. Young, I
            promise you.

<b>                          MR. YOUNG
</b>            S'all very well, but when the Fit hits the Shan,
            somebody's going to have to Stay After School, and who
            do you 'spose that might be.

<b>                          BREAN
</b>            S'only got to hold for another few days.

<b>                          MR. YOUNG
</b>            Well, I'm not interested in how long its "got to hold
            for."

<b>                          BREAN
</b>            What <u>are</u> you interested in?
<b>                    (PAUSE)
</b>
<b>                          MR. YOUNG
</b>            I'm interested in the Security of My Country, Mr.
            Brean.

<b>                          AMES
</b>            As are we all, and I'd like to take this opportunity to
            suggest that the Security of the country would be ill-
            served by any, any...any...

<b>PAUSE.  THEY LOOK AT HIM.
</b>
<b>                          AMES
</b><b>                    (CONT.)
</b>            Any untoward "revelation" regarding, uh...

<b>                          MR. YOUNG
</b>            And I think that the Security of the Country would be
            best-served by its citizens obeying its laws.
<b>                    (OVER HIS SHOULDER, TO AN AIDE)
</b>            Gemme a Federal Judge, gemme search-warrants, all
            premises controlled by our friends, and bench-warrants
            for the two of...

<b>                          BREAN
</b><b>                    (SIMULTANEOUSLY, WITH THE ABOVE SPEECH)
</b>            Well, I'm sure that speaks very well of you and for
            your parents.  But if forced to choose between the
            security of the country and the security of your Job,
            which would you pick.  And, while you hesitate, permit
            me to suggest that they are one and the same.  Your
            country and your job.

<b>                          MR. YOUNG
</b>            I'm <u>doing</u> my job, Mr. Brean.  That's what you see me
            doing here.  What <u>is</u> it you thought <u>you</u> were doing?

<b>                          AMES
</b>            And I'd like to point out that I've been on
            prescription <u>medication</u>, the side-effects of which...

<b>                          BREAN
</b>            I'm doing my job, Too.
<b>                    (OF THE AIDE)
</b>            Would you give me a... do you think you could call off
            your Dogs for a minute.

<b>PAUSE.  MR. YOUNG LOOKS AT THE AIDE, WHO IS EXITING, AND NODS.  THE AIDE STAYS
</b><b>BEHIND.
</b>
<b>                          BREAN
</b><b>                    (CONT.)
</b>            Thank you.

<b>                          MR. YOUNG
</b>            What's on your mind?

<b>                          BREAN
</b>            I have a question for you.

<b>                          MR. YOUNG
</b>            Ask it.

<b>                          BREAN
</b>            Why do people go to war?

<b>                          MR. YOUNG
</b>            Why do people go to war?

<b>                          MR. YOUNG
</b>            I'll play your silly game.

<b>                          BREAN
</b>            Why do they go to War?

<b>                          MR. YOUNG
</b>            To preserve their Way of Life.

<b>                          BREAN
</b>            Would you go to War to do that?
<b>                    (PAUSE)
</b>
<b>                          MR. YOUNG
</b>            I have.

<b>                          BREAN
</b>            Well, I have, too.  Would you do it <u>again</u>...?  In't
            that why you're here?  I guess <u>so</u>.  N'if you go to war
            again, who is it going to be against?  Your "ability to
            fight a Two-ocean War" against who?  Sweden and <u>Togo</u>?
            Who you sitting here to Go To War Against?  That time
            has <u>passed</u>.  It's <u>passed</u>.  It's <u>over</u>.  The War of the
            Future is <u>Nuclear Terrorism</u>.  It is and it will be
            against a Small Group of Dissidents who, unbeknownst,
            perhaps, to their own <u>governments</u>, have blah blah blah.
            And to go to <u>that</u> war, you've got to be <u>prepared</u>.  You
            have to be alert, and the <u>public</u> has to be alert.
            Cause that is the war of the <u>future</u>, and if you're not
            gearing up, to fight <u>that</u> war, <u>eventually</u> the axe will
            fall.  N'you're gonna be out in the street.
<b>                    (PAUSE)
</b>            And you can call this a "drill," or you can call it
            "job security," or you can call it anything you like.
            But I got one for you:  you said, "Go to War to protect
            your Way of Life,"  well, Chuck, <u>this</u>
<b>                    (HE GESTURES AROUND THE ROOM)
</b>            is your way of life.  Innit?  And if there ain't no
            war, you can punch out, go home, and take up Oil
            Painting.  And there <u>ain't</u> no war but ours.
<b>                    (PAUSE)
</b>
<b>HOLD ON THE GROUP.
</b>
<b>                          BREAN
</b><b>                    (CONT.)
</b>            It's just for eight more days.....

<b>INT CORRIDORS C.I.A. COMPLEX
</b>
<b>AMES, AND BREAN ACCOMPANIED BY SEVERAL BODYGUARD TYPES AND THE YALIE.
</b>
<b>                          BREAN
</b><b>                    (TO THE YALIE)
</b>            One more thing, <u>what</u> is that river she's running
            across?

<b>                          YALIE
</b>            What?

<b>                          BREAN
</b>            ...the young girl in the video, the Albanian Girl....

<b>YOUNG NODS, AND MAKES A NOTE IN A BOOK.  BREAN TURNS TO AMES.
</b>
<b>                          BREAN
</b>            ...she's running, it's some sacred... some ancestral
            <u>land</u>, cloven by the Brook named.... give it to Moss,

<b>                          YOUNG
</b>            No, we're on top of it.

<b>                          BREAN
</b>            <u>Thank</u> you.

<b>                          YOUNG
</b>            No, thank <u>you</u>...

<b>                          BREAN
</b><b>                    (HE CHECKS HIS WATCH)
</b>            I should be in Nashville, tell him I'm coming in.

<b>                          BREAN
</b><b>                    (TO AMES)
</b><b>                    (GESTURING TO THE YALIE, AND
</b><b>                    BODYGUARDS.)
</b>            Nice enogh people... they just hadn't thought it
            through...

<b>AMES, AS HE WALKS, TAKES OUT HIS CELLPHONE, AND DIALS.
</b>
<b>                          AMES
</b><b>                    (INTO THE PHONE)
</b>            No.  I was busy.
<b>                    (PAUSE)
</b>            Yes, I need the new poll fig.... <u>how</u> long?  I'll call
            in from Nashville.  And patch me through to the Big
            Bird, will...?
<b>                    (TO BREAN)
</b>            I've got to <u>hand</u> it to you.  <u>They</u> sure let us out of
            there easy....

<b>                          BREAN
</b><b>                    (TO HIMSELF)
</b>            ...they just hadn't thought it through...

<b>THE YALIE SHAKES BREAN'S HAND, AND GESTURES FOR A DOOR TO BE OPENED.  BEYOND
</b><b>THE DOOR WE SEE A HELIPAD, AND THE ROTORS OF A HELICOPTER JUST BEGINNING TO
</b><b>TURN, BREAN WAVES, AND TROTS OUT TO THE HELICOPTER.
</b>
<b>INT HELICOPTER NIGHT.
</b>
<b>AN AIRCREWMAN, LISTENING TO A SMALL RADIO.
</b>
<b>                          RADIO
</b><b>                    (VO)
</b>            Midst repeated denial from the Albanian Government.
            While, at the White House, a sense of Stillness
            pervades, awaiting the return of...

<b>THE AIRCREWMAN SNAPS TO ATTENTION AS BREAN COMES INTO THE AIRCRAFT, BUCKLES
</b><b>HIMSELF INTO A WEBSEAT, AND FALLS ASLEEP.  HE ROUSES HIMSELF, TAKES OUT HIS
</b><b>NOTEBOOK, AND STARTS TO WRITE IN IT.
</b>
<b>EXT PARKING LOT, NASHVILLE DAWN.
</b>
<b>A SUPERMARKET PARKING LOT, A HUGE COWBOY HAT ADORNS A STORE CALLED "KELLEY'S
</b><b>WESTERN WEAR."  AT THE SUPERMARKET, SHOPPERS, PUSHING CARTS PILED HIGH -- THE
</b><b>WIFE PUSHING, THE HUSBAND GUARDING THE CART WITH A RIFLE.  A FISTFIGHT BREAKS
</b><b>OUT.  NO ONE NOTICES THE HELICOPTER.
</b><b>BREAN IS GETTING INTO A JEEP, ITS TOP OFF, DRIVEN BY A FELLOW IN WESTERN
</b><b>GETUP, ON THE SIDE IS PAINTED A GUITAR.  IN THE B.G. WE SEE THE HELICOPTER
</b><b>LIFTING OFF.  IN THE JEEP ARE THE FAD KING AND MOSS.
</b>
<b>ANGLE
</b><b>THE JEEP, AS BREAN SETTLES HIMSELF IN HE TURNS TO LOOK AT THE CHAOS IN THE
</b><b>PARKING LOT.
</b>
<b>                          COWBOY
</b>            It ain't hoarding.  It's <u>stockpiling</u>.

<b>                          BREAN
</b>            Uh huh.

<b>                          COWBOY
</b>            Only common sense.

<b>                          MOSS
</b><b>                    (OF THE BOOK)
</b>            We got the guy, we got the guy, we got the Guy!

<b>                          FAD KING
</b>            The Canada Thing was a shuck.  A <u>shuck</u> -- wasted a day.
            What can you do with Canada?  Bears, mapleleafs, "sugar
            -on-Snow."  Lays there on the plate like a lox.

<b>ANGLE
</b><b>AMES ON THE PHONE IN THE JEEP.
</b>
<b>                          AMES
</b>            Yes... Hello...?
<b>                    (PAUSE)
</b>            <u>What</u>...?  <u>What</u>...?  We're breaking up, I'll call you
            from the studio.

<b>INT RECORDING STUDIO NASHVILLE, DAY.
</b>
<b>THE COWBOY, MOSS, FAD KING, AMES, AND BREAN WALKING THROUGH THE LOBBY AND
</b><b>CORRIDOR OF A NASHVILLE STUDIO, MANY GOLD AND PLATINUM RECORDS ON THE WALL.
</b><b>THEY PASS AN ELDERLY AFRICAN AMERICAN MAN SWEEPING THE HALL, AND NOD AT HIM.
</b>
<b>                          BREAN
</b><b>                    (REACHES INTO HIS JACKET POCKET)
</b>            Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, get this typed, get somebody to
            send it to the White House...

<b>HE HANDS IT TO MOSS.
</b>
<b>                          MOSS
</b>            What is it?

<b>                          BREAN
</b>            President's speech.

<b>                          MOSS
</b>            At the Airport?  Cause we decided at the Airport he
            hugs the fat, wet Albanian Broad, we...

<b>                          BREAN
</b>            No, no, no, no, no <u>after</u> the airport.

<b>THEY TURN AROUND, LOOKING FOR AMES, WHO IS HANGING BACK, LOOKING AT A TV.  THEY
</b><b>RETRACE THEIR STEPS.  CAMERA TAKES THEM TO AMES, WHO IS WATCHING SENATOR NOLE
</b><b>ON TV.
</b>
<b>                          AMES
</b><b>                    (SOFTLY)
</b>            Oh, shit...

<b>                          NOLE
</b>            ...gotten word that the situation in Albania <u>is</u>
            resolved.  That it <u>is</u> resolved.  My military sources
            confirm that our troops, along the Canadian Border, <u>And</u>
            overseas are standing down, and I must take this
            opportunity to call upon our President to stand and
            face the charges, the heinous charges brought against
            him.  You know, folks, there is <u>nothing</u> in life as
            precious as the Innocence of a Child.
<b>                    (PAUSE)
</b>            Nothing.  Now, I do not say these charges are true, I do
            not see how they <u>could</u> be.  Accusations of, of sexual
            misconduct in <u>anyone</u>, must be investigated.  In the
            case of a Sitting President, of one whose term, and I
            do not hesitate to mention it, <u>ends</u>, in, effectively,
            in a matter of days... I <u>call</u> upon the President...

<b>                          AMES
</b>            What does he <u>mean</u> The Situation has Been Resolved?

<b>                          BREAN
</b>            He just got Hip to us.
<b>                    (PAUSE)
</b>            He just ended the War.

<b>CAMERA TAKES THEM INTO THE RECORDING STUDIO.
</b>
<b>                          AMES
</b>            What are we gonna <u>do</u> about it...?

<b>WE SEE SEVERAL PEOPLE AT A CONSOLE, AND, IN THE STUDIO, A BRIGHT SASSY LOOKING
</b><b>GROUP, SINGING.
</b>
<b>                          GROUP
</b>            We guard the Northern Borders.
            We live the Northern Liiiiifffe...
            We come to restore Order...
            For our Children and our Wiiiiiiiffee...

<b>                          BREAN
</b><b>                    (TO ENGINEER)
</b>            Tell'em to knock it off.

<b>THE ENGINEER TELLS THE GROUP TO STAND DOWN.
</b><b>PAUSE
</b>
<b>                          AMES
</b>            What are we going to do?

<b>                          BREAN
</b><b>                    (TO MOSS)
</b>            The War is Over.

<b>                          MOSS
</b>            What?

<b>                          BREAN
</b>            The War is Over.  Senator Nole just ended the War.

<b>                          AMES
</b>            Oh, God...

<b>                          BREAN
</b>            Yep.  Well, we started it, he Ended it...

<b>ANGLE ON THE TV.
</b>
<b>                          TELEVISION REPORTER
</b>            ...and the C.I.A. <u>Confirms</u> the cessation of
            Hostilities, with...

<b>                          BREAN
</b>            The C.I.A.

<b>                          AMES
</b>            Oh, Lord....

<b>                          BREAN
</b>            ...those limp-dick ... <u>turncoat</u>... I <u>thought</u> they let
            us out of there too easy.....

<b>HE REACHES OVER AND FLICKS OFF THE TV.
</b>
<b>                          BREAN
</b><b>                    (TO MOSS.  CONT.)
</b>            War's over, Pal.
<b>                    (PAUSE)
</b>
<b>IN THE B.G. AMES PICKS UP THE PHONE AND DIALS.
</b>
<b>                          AMES
</b><b>                    (ON PHONE)
</b>            Gloria -- sell the House.
<b>                    (HE HANGS UP)
</b><b>                    (PAUSE)
</b>
<b>                          MOSS
</b>            The War ain't over.
<b>                    (PAUSE)
</b>
<b>                          BREAN
</b>            I saw it on TV.

<b>                          MOSS
</b>            The war ain't over til I <u>say</u> it's over.  This is <u>my</u>
            picture.  You think you're in a <u>spot</u>?  You think this
            is a tight spot?  Try making the Hunchback of Notre
            Dame when your three lead actors <u>die</u>, two weeks from
            the end of Principal Photography.  This is... this
            is... this is just...
<b>                    (PAUSE)
</b>            Act One:  THE WAR.
            Act <u>Two</u> ... the... uh...

<b>                          FAD KING
</b>            It's like those Japanese in the Caves on Okinawa...
            didn't believe the War was Over.

<b>                          MOSS
</b>            You got a guy, doesn't believe the War is... NO NO NO.
            An American Serviceman... A brave American Serviceman,
            is Left <u>Behind</u> ...
<b>                    (HE LOOKS AT THE FAD KING, WHO IS
</b><b>                    MASSAGING HIS FOOT, HAVING TAKEN OFF
</b><b>                    HIS SHOE)
</b>            He is Left Behind.  He is discarded like an Old Shoe...
<b>                    (TO BREAN)
</b>            Gemme the Pentagon.  List of people in all Military
            Special Programs.... Left behind.  Like the Old Shoe...
            Johnny: "Good Old Shoe"...
<b>                    (JOHNNY NODS)
</b>
<b>BREAN PICKS UP THE PHONE AND DIALS.
</b>
<b>                          BREAN
</b>            Hello...?

<b>FAD KING PICKS UP THE PHONE.
</b>
<b>                          FAD KING
</b>            Yeah, I need a list, people in Military Special
            Pro...

<b>                          MOSS
</b>            ...what do you got?

<b>                          FAD KING
</b><b>                    (INTO PHONE)
</b>            Military Special Programs... <u>Programs</u>... No, I am not
            Shouting at you, I'm... I'm sorry.  Anyone named <u>Shoe</u>
            Schumann?  <u>Schuster</u>... uh

<b>JOHNNY GREEN, ANGLE ON HIM, HIS EYES LIGHT UP.
</b>
<b>                          JOHNNY GREEN
</b>            I got it!

<b>HE TAKES OUT HIS GUITAR, AND STARTS TO STRUM.  HE PICKS UP A PENCIL.  IN THE
</b><b>B.G. WE SEE THE OLD AFRICAN AMERICAN MAN COME INTO THE STUDIO, AND START
</b><b>CLEANING UP.
</b>
<b>                          SINGER
</b>            "I guard the Northern Borders..."
            Okay, y'want to roll on another one...?

<b>                          JOHNNY GREEN
</b>            Naaa.  Fuck that.  <u>Fuck</u> that...

<b>                          ENGINEER
</b>            ...go get a Coke.  Y'want something to <u>eat</u>...?

<b>                          SINGER
</b>            We gonna be long, cause I told my wife...

<b>DISSOLVE
</b>
<b>INT STUDIO.  NIGHT.  VAST AMOUNTS OF TAKE-OUT FOOD WRAPPING.  AMES, BREAN,
</b><b>JOHNNY GREEN, MOSS, THE ENGINEER, SITTING AT THE CONSOLE.  IN THE STUDIO, AN
</b><b>OLD, BLACK SINGER, ARRANGING MUSIC ON THE STAND IN FRONT OF HIM.  HE HOLDS A
</b><b>VERY BATTERED OLD GUITAR.
</b>
<b>JOHNNY GREEN, STILL SCRIBBLING ON MUSIC PAPER, GOES INTO THE STUDIO, AND HANDS
</b><b>A SHEET TO THE SINGER, AND LEAVES.
</b>
<b>THE SINGER IS THE OLD MAN WE SAW SWEEPING UP.
</b>
<b>                          SINGER
</b><b>                    (SINGS)
</b>            Good Old Shoe
            Good Old Shoe...never left you hangin, Just a Good Old
            Shoe...
<b>                    (HE STOPS, TALKS TO THE CONTROL ROOM)
</b>            I'm sorry, Barry, the <u>action</u> on this... where the hell
            did you <u>get</u> this old thing?

<b>                          ENGINEER
</b><b>                    (TALKING THROUGH THE P.A.)
</b>            ...found it in a pawnshop.  Three bucks.

<b>THE SINGER SMILES, SHAKES HIS HEAD, STARTS TO TUNE A STRING.
</b>
<b>                          MOSS
</b>            Don't tune it too good.

<b>                          ENGINEER
</b>            Leave it flat, will you, Ben?

<b>THE SINGER NODS.
</b>
<b>                          ENGINEER
</b>            Do another?

<b>                          SINGER
</b>            Let's do it.

<b>                          ENGINEER
</b><b>                    (CUING THE TAPE)
</b>            Good Old Shoe...

<b>                          MOSS
</b><b>                    (SHOWS THE PHOTO OF SCHUMANN TO BREAN)
</b>            William Schuman.  Old Shoe.  U.S. Army.  Serial number,
<b>            21-31-2841-262.
</b>
<b>                          ENGINEER
</b>            Take ten.

<b>                          SINGER
</b>            He's the Runt of the Litter
            Waal that's true
            N'I found him jest hiding in an Old Work Shoe
            N'he got into mischief, as a Pup will do.
            But I never had a better than my Good Old Shoe.
            Waal, we's out jest a-huntin, on a Cold Fall Day, and
            it seems like that Possum 'bout to Get Away...

<b>                          MOSS
</b>            It's too clean.

<b>                          ENGINEER
</b>            Hold it a minute, Benny, willya?

<b>                          MOSS
</b>            It's too clean.

<b>                          ENGINEER
</b>            Let's take the bridge from <u>nine</u>, and the intro from
            <u>one</u>, and...

<b>                          MOSS
</b>            It's got to sound like an <u>acetate</u> recording, 1930.

<b>                          ENGINEER
</b>            Hold it a minute, Benny, we're going to tweak it a bit.
<b>                    (TO THE GROUP)
</b>            This may take a while.

<b>                          BREAN
</b><b>                    (TO JOHNNY, AND MOSS)
</b>            This is fantastic.

<b>                          JOHNNY GREEN
</b>            Y'like it?  Wait'll you get to the <u>bridge</u>...

<b>                          BREAN
</b>            This's Fantastic...

<b>                          JOHNNY GREEN
</b><b>                    (TO ENGINEER)
</b>            Don't go with the bridge from <u>nine</u>, go with the bridge
            from <u>eight</u>.

<b>                          ENGINEER
</b>            Why <u>eight</u>?

<b>                          JOHNNY GREEN
</b>            Just try it.

<b>IN THE B.G. WE SEE AMES TALKING INTO THE CELLPHONE.
</b>
<b>                          AMES
</b>            A new <u>take</u> on the...  Well, sir, we're coming back,
            we'd like you to try it out, this evening...

<b>                          MOSS
</b>            Listen to what I've ... listen to... does anybody know
            Morse Code?

<b>                          BREAN
</b>            What're you gonna do with Morse Code?

<b>                          MOSS
</b><b>                    (NODS, POINTS TO THE GLOSSY PHOTO)
</b>            ...we put your Guy in a <u>sweater</u>...

<b>                          BREAN
</b>            Yeah...?

<b>                          MOSS
</b>            "Good Old Shoe -- "  We put him in a sweater.

<b>WE HEAR A WHISTLE.  HEADS TURN.  THE COWBOY TYPE IS WHISTLING.  HE IS OVER
</b><b>AT A COFFEE AREA, LOOKING AT A SMALL TELEVISION, THE GROUP MOVES TO THE TV.
</b><b>ON THE TELEVISION WE SEE A TALKING HEAD, ANNOUNCING THE ARRIVAL OF THE PRESS.
</b><b>IN THE B.G. AIRFORCE ONE IS ROLLING TO A STOP.  WE SEE THE RAMP COME DOWN AND
</b><b>THE PRESIDENT COME OUT IN THE RAIN AND HURRY TOWARD A WAITING HELICOPTER.
</b>
<b>HE SEES SOMETHING OFF TO THE SIDE AND STOPS, HIS AIDES TRY TO DISSUADE HIM,
</b><b>BUT HE PULLS AWAY.  THE NEWS CAMERA HUNTS AND FINDS A SMALL ALBANIAN GIRL,
</b><b>CARRYING A SHEAF OF WHEAT IN HER HANDS, AN OLD WOMAN BEHIND HER, BOTH STANDING
</b><b>IN THE RAIN.  THE PRESIDENT ADVANCES, AND MOVES TO LET HIS AIDES LET THE CHILD
</b><b>COME FORWARD.  WE SEE THE PRESIDENT, MOVED AT THE SIGHT OF THE LITTLE GIRL,
</b><b>OFFERING HIM THE SHEAF OF WHEAT, WE HEAR A REPORTER, V.O.
</b>
<b>                          REPORTER
</b><b>                    (VO)
</b>            ...trying too... it seems that she is speaking in... is
            is Albanian ... Is it Albanian?  Can we get someone
            on...

<b>A WOMAN'S VOICE COMES ON, A TRANSLATOR.
</b>
<b>                          TRANSLATOR
</b><b>                    (VO)
</b>            ...salvation of our Country.  To...to "intercede" where
            violent men would work to destroy ... to destroy
            Harmony.  Now is the Harvest Season in my Land, and I
            bring you...
<b>                    (SHE HANDS HIM THE WHEAT)
</b>            I bring you this traditional Albanian, forgive me not
            to speak English, but my Grandmother...

<b>THE CAMERA MOVES ONTO THE GRANDMOTHER, STANDING, NODDING, BEHIND THE LITTLE
</b><b>GIRL, AND THE PRESIDENT, REALIZING FOR THE FIRST TIME THAT THE OLD WOMAN IS
</b><b>STANDING IN THE RAIN, MOVES TO HER, REMOVES HIS SUITCOAT, AND PLACES IT OVER
</b><b>HER HEAD.  SHE CLASPS HIM TO HER BOSOM.  SHE SPEAKS TO HIM IN ALBANIAN.
</b>
<b>                          TRANSLATOR
</b>            God bless you, God bless you, you are my Son... you are
            a Bringer of Peace...

<b>WE HEAR A PHONE RING.
</b>
<b>ANGLE
</b><b>WIDER, ON THE GROUP AT THE TV, ALL SHAKING THEIR HEADS SADLY.  AN AIDE HANDS
</b><b>THE PHONE TO MOSS, WHO GIVES IT TO BREAN.
</b>
<b>                          BREAN
</b>            Hello?

<b>EXT ANDREWS AIRFORCE BASE DAY.  CAIN, FROM THE PRESS CORPS, ON A CELL PHONE,
</b><b>BEHIND HER THE SPECTACLE OF THE PRESIDENT AND THE GIRL AND THE OLD WOMAN, WE
</b><b>SEE THE RAIN IS BEING SUPPLIED BY RAINBIRD MACHINES, THE DAY IS CLEAR.
</b>
<b>                          CAIN
</b>            ...getting the speech for the White House...?
<b>                    (PAUSE)
</b>            Good.  Good.  Because he's....

<b>ANGLE, INT THE STUDIO, ON BREAN, ON THE PHONE.
</b>
<b>                          BREAN
</b>            He can't respond to the Allegations.
<b>                    (PAUSE)
</b>            I don't care <u>how</u> many girlscouts are picketing the ...
            look, look, look, we're coming home with <u>Gold</u>.  Eh?
            Tell him to hold firm for <u>two hours</u>... coming home with
            Gold.

<b>                          MOSS
</b><b>                    (TO FAD KING)
</b>            Did we ever use those costumes for the Border Patrol?
            Those guys in the Leopard-Skin <u>Hats</u>?  Here's my
            idea....

<b>INT LIMO DAY.
</b>
<b>THE BACKSEAT OF A LIMO
</b><b>AMES AND BREAN WITH A PHONE TO HIS EAR.  THE TELEVISION ON, SHOWING THE GIRL
</b><b>RUNNING ACROSS THE FLAMING BRIDGE, MOSS, FIDDLING WITH THE VOLUME ON THE TAPE
</b><b>PLAYER, WHICH IS PLAYING "GOOD OLD SHOE."
</b>
<b>                          BREAN
</b><b>                    (INTO PHONE)
</b>            I'll hold.

<b>WE HEAR THE SCRATCHY RENDITION OF "GOOD OLD SHOE" ON THE TAPE PLAYER.
</b>
<b>                          AMES
</b>            ...this is a snappy song....

<b>                          MOSS
</b>            What'd ya think?

<b>                          BREAN
</b>            I think it's fine?

<b>                          MOSS
</b>            It's not too <u>clean</u>...

<b>                          BREAN
</b>            No, it's...
<b>                    (ON PHONE)
</b>            I'll, yes, I'm holding, but...
<b>                    (TO MOSS)
</b>            No, it's ...

<b>HE STOPS AND GESTURES MOSS TO TURN OFF THE VOLUME ON THE TAPE.  THEY BOTH TURN
</b><b>TOWARD THE TV, WHERE WE SEE A FREEZE FRAME OF THE GIRL ON THE BRIDGE, AND AN
</b><b>INSERT OF A MAP OF ALBANIA.
</b>
<b>                          ANNOUNCER
</b>            Have identified the bridge, and the river from that
            tape.  It is a bridge over the river __________, ...
            what is it, Mayra, a "rhyme...?"

<b>ANOTHER WOMAN IS SHOWN ON THE SCREEN, AS THE ANGLE WIDENS.
</b>
<b>                          MAYRA
</b>            Actually, Bess, it's an ode, an ancient Albanian ode,
            praising the river, this particular river, the
            ________, as a source of <u>peace</u>.  It is ironic that....

<b>                          BREAN
</b><b>                    (ON PHONE)
</b>            <u>Hello</u> --

<b>                          BREAN
</b><b>                    (ON PHONE)
</b>            Look: I'm bringing in a tape, I need it copied AT ONCE
            onto an old acetate, and stuck in the Library of
            Congress.  Gotta Happen Today.

<b>                          MOSS
</b>            In the Folk Music Section.

<b>                          BREAN
</b>            In the Folk Music Section.  We'll be in in...

<b>ON THE TV SCREEN, NOW, IS SENATOR NOLE.  BREAN HANGS UP THE PHONE.
</b>
<b>                          MAYRA
</b>            <u>Ironic</u> Bess, that while Peace is At Hand, the spectre
            of disgrace, <u>unrest</u> haunts the President, who, scant
            days from the Election...

<b>INT. MALL -- DAY
</b>
<b>BREAN MOSS AND AMES.
</b><b>WALKING -- AN AIDE GIVES BREAN A PHOTO.
</b>
<b>                          BREAN
</b>            ...this the Guy.

<b>                          MOSS
</b>            Oh, he's gonna be Aces.

<b>                          BREAN
</b>            Where is he now?

<b>                          MOSS
</b><b>                    (SHRUGS)
</b>            Some, military... Special Program, Oklahoma
            somewhere...

<b>                          BREAN
</b>            ...we get our hands on him?

<b>                          MOSS
</b>            They got him standing by.

<b>                          BREAN
</b>            What's the thing with Morse Code...

<b>                          MOSS
</b>            Oh, you're gonna love this:

<b>INT MALL H.Q., SHOESTORE DAY.
</b>
<b>WE SEE THE ASSEMBLED THRONG LISTENING TO THE END OF THE SONG, "GOOD OLD SHOE,"
</b><b>RAPT.  BREAN RISES, AND FLIPS OFF THE TAPE.
</b>
<b>                          BREAN
</b>            Who said, "I care not who writes a country's laws, so
            long as I can write its songs..."?  Stanley Moss,
            folks...

<b>THE GROUP STARTS APPLAUDING.
</b>
<b>                          MOSS
</b>            Hey, hey, I'm just the Producer, I'm just the
            <u>Stationmaster</u>, Johnny Green wrote that song, and...

<b>                          AMES
</b>            All we have to do now is sell it to the President.

<b>                          BREAN
</b>            No, I'm telling you, this guy, <u>this</u> guy is <u>aces</u>, this
            guy is the Kitty's Sleepwear, <u>this</u> guy, they should of
            given him <u>every</u> Oscar.  <u>Every</u> Oscar.  This is the...

<b>AN AIDE ENTERS, HOLDING A BOX GINGERLY, SHE BRINGS IT TO BREAN, WHO OPENS IT,
</b><b>HOLDS IT TO THE CAMERA, IT CONTAINS A RATTY OLD 78 RECORD "FOLKLORE OF THE
</b><b>RURAL SOUTH, VOLUME THREE, 'GOOD OLD SHOE' WRITTEN AND SUNG BY NATHANIEL
</b><b>HORN, 1934, ATHENS, GA."
</b>
<b>                          BREAN
</b><b>                    (HOLDING IT UP)
</b>            Well, <u>this</u> is genius.  Who did this?

<b>                          MOSS
</b>            My prop guy, had a guy out here.

<b>                          BREAN
</b><b>                    (TO THE AIDE)
</b>            Get it in the stacks at the Library of Congress, Now.
<b>                    (TO THE ASSEMBLE)
</b>            Who's seeing the guy at C.B.S.?

<b>A YOUNG WOMAN RAISES HER HAND.
</b>
<b>                          BREAN
</b>            Tonight, you remember some <u>song</u>, from your <u>folksong</u>
            days, something about a Good Old Shoe...

<b>                          AIDE
</b>            ...tonight...

<b>                          BREAN
</b>            You're with him tonight, watching the President's
            Speech, when the President...

<b>                          AIDE
</b>            What if he's busy tonight?

<b>                          BREAN
</b>            <u>Lure</u> him.
<b>                    (PAUSE)
</b>
<b>                          AIDE
</b>            What are you saying...

<b>                          BREAN
</b>            Well, darlin' <u>I</u> ain't your confessor.  Tell him you've
            got some info on the President's sex scandal, it's on
            your conscience, believe me, he'll drop what he's
            doing.  Okay;  <u>Now</u>:  Folks, folks, folks, this is a
            shitty business, and it needs no Ghost Come From the
            Grave to tell us that.  But in Six Days, Lord willing
            n'Jesus Tarries, I am going to take you beauties into
            the second term. .....wait til you hear the speech
            tonight.  The 3-0-3 Speech... where's the Fad King, by
            the way...

<b>                          AIDE
</b><b>                    (ON THE TELEPHONE, LOOKING WORRIED)
</b>            ...on the way in.

<b>                          BREAN
</b>            When you...
<b>                    (TO AIDE)
</b>            What?  I'm busy.

<b>                          AIDE
</b>            It's the White House.

<b>HE HANDS THE PHONE TO BREAN.
</b>
<b>                          BREAN
</b>            <u>Hello</u>.
<b>                    (PAUSE)
</b>            What?

<b>                          MOSS
</b>            What?

<b>                          BREAN
</b>            What do you mean he won't do it?
<b>                    (PAUSE)
</b>            He won't do <u>what</u>?
<b>                    (TO MOSS)
</b>            He won't do the sp...
<b>                    (TO PHONE)
</b>            It's what?  It's <u>corny</u>?  <u>Corny</u>?  Is that the word?  Of
            <u>course</u> it's corny.  We wouldn't have him <u>say</u> the
            flippin' thing it wasn't corny.  Put... listen, it's
            not a question, we're locked <u>in</u> to this speech.  NO
            We're, Are You Listening?  LOCKED IN.  We're, we're
            playing way <u>past</u> it, we're <u>past</u> it -- it's the set-up
            for...he has <u>got</u> to say the speech.
<b>                    (PAUSE)
</b>            Tell Ames to meet me at the West Gate in...
<b>                    (HE CHECKS HIS WATCH AND HANGS UP THE
</b><b>                    PHONE)
</b>
<b>ANGLE
</b><b>AT THE TV, MOSS IS WATCHING THE TELEVISION WHICH IS SHOWING THE "CHANGE
</b><b>HORSES CAMPAIGN."  WE SEE TWO KIDS WITH SOAPBOX RACERS.
</b>
<b>                          KID ONE
</b><b>                    (OF HIS MACHINE)
</b>            ...change it, but I said to my dad, "You Don't Change
            Horses in the Mid..."

<b>                          MOSS
</b><b>                    (OF TV)
</b>            Can you believe this shit?

<b>BREAN GRABS MOSS, AND THEY EXIT HURRIEDLY.  THE TV GOES TO A CARD READING
</b><b>"COMMITTEE TO RE-ELECT THE PRESIDENT," AND THEN TO A TALK-SHOW FORMAT, THE
</b><b>WOMAN SPEAKING TO A HIGHLY DECORATED GENERAL.
</b>
<b>                          GENERAL
</b>            Yes.  Thank God, I say.  Thank God for the B-2 Bomber.
            Thank <u>God</u> for it, for it is not an engine of War, but
            an engine of <u>Deterrence</u>, as we've seen, and were it <u>not</u>
            for that deterrence, who is to say, but that American
            blood, would, even <u>now</u>...

<b>EXT WHITEHOUSE.  PENNSYLVANIA AVE.  DAY.
</b>
<b>MANY PLACARDS, ON THE GROUND, SHOWING MAPS OF ALBANIA, IN A RED CIRCLE WITH
</b><b>THE RED LINE THROUGH IT, HELD ALOFT, PLACARDS READING, "DON'T CHANGE HORSES,"
</b><b>PHOTOPLACARDS SHOWING THE PRESIDENT WITH THE GIRLSCOUT AND THE MOTTO:  "THANK
</b><b>HEAVEN FOR LITTLE GIRLS."
</b>
<b>A REPORTER IS INTERVIEWING A POLICEMAN.
</b>
<b>                          POLICEMAN
</b><b>                    (TALKING INTO A MICROPHONE)
</b>            I was in the Vietnam Conflict, and I want to tell you
            that a man who could do what the President did -- I
            <u>respect</u> him.  But, on <u>this</u> issue....

<b>EXT WHITEHOUSE WESTGATE.  DAY.
</b>
<b>A VAN MARKED "JIFFY LOCKSMITHS" IS WAVED THROUGH THE GATE.
</b>
<b>ANGLE
</b><b>AT THE DRIVETHROUGH PORTICO, AMES WAITING, WE SEE THE VAN, ON WHICH SOMEONE
</b><b>HAS SPRAYPAINTED "FUCK ALBANIA."
</b>
<b>INT WHITEHOUSE.
</b>
<b>AMES, CAIN AND LEVY STANDING THERE, WAITING, AS BREAN AND MOSS, DRESSED IN
</b><b>LOCKSMITHS COVERALLS, ENTER THE WHITEHOUSE/
</b><b>CAMERA TRAVELS WITH THEM AS THEY STRIDE DOWN THE HALL.
</b>
<b>                          MOSS
</b><b>                    (TO AN AIDE)
</b>            Gemme all your secretaries, puttem in an office now,
            Would  you?  Would you do that?
<b>                    (PAUSE)
</b>            Gimme thirty secretaries...

<b>AMSE NODS AT LEVY, WHO TAKES OFF ON HIS MASTER'S BUSINESS.
</b>
<b>                          MOSS
</b>            I need the President.  Five minutes of his time. Eh?
            Five... "the speech is corny"...??
<b>                    (TO BREAN)
</b>            You know, this is what they used to say when I went out
            to Hollywood.  "It's too theatrical"... I came from the
            Theatre, and, anything, over their heads, "It's too
            Theatric..."

<b>                          AMES
</b>            He thinks it's too...

<b>                          BREAN
</b>            First of all, we're locked <u>in</u> to it, <u>secondly</u>:

<b>                          MOSS
</b>            <u>Don't</u> tell me that the speech is too corny.  Your guy got
            caught with his hand in the <u>cookie</u> Jar.  <u>I</u> came to Save
            him.  <u>I</u> don't need this gig, I don't need the money, I
            don't need the <u>tsuris</u> ... <u>I</u> don't need it.  <u>He</u> needs
            the gig.  Y'r gonna go to the goddamn Doctor an exam,
            What've I got?  He tells you you've got Cancer, you
            tell him, "That's Old Hat, gimme something else"...?

<b>HE IS STEERED INTO AN OFFICE, HE OPENS THE DOOR, AND WE SEE THE LAST OF TWENTY
</b><b>SECRETARIES, WANDERING, TAKING SEATS IN A SMALL WAITING ROOM.  HE TURNS.  AND
</b><b>WE SEE THE BACK OF THE PRESIDENT, ENTERING.
</b>
<b>                          AMES
</b>            Mr. President, this is St...

<b>                          MOSS
</b>            Hi, How are ya?  <u>Listen</u> to this, willya...

<b>MOSS TAKES A SHEAF OF PAPERS FROM HIS POCKET AND GOES THROUGH THE DOOR FROM
</b><b>THE SMALL OFFICE INTO THE WAITING ROOM.  LEAVING THE DOOR HALF-OPEN, THE
</b><b>PRESIDENT WAITS BEHIND, LOOKING ON THROUGH THE HALF OPEN DOOR.
</b>
<b>                          MOSS
</b><b>                    (TO THE SECRETARIES)
</b>            ...Ladies, thank you for coming.  I have in my hand a
            <uphotograph>.  It is a photograph of a man.  His name is
            William A. <u>Schumann</u>.  He is the part of the team, of
            unit 303, who dropped behind Albanian Lines.  We've
            just <u>received</u> this photograph, of Schumann in
            captivity.  Held by a dissident, a renegade group of
            Albanian Terrorists.
<b>                    (HE HOLDS THE PHOTOGRAPH UP)
</b>            I'm going to call your attention to something...I don't
            know how many of you know Morse <u>Code</u>...

<b>ANGLE
</b><b>BREAN, AND AMES, IN THE CORRIDOR.  PACING.  PAUSE.
</b>
<b>                          AMES
</b>            You <u>need</u> this Schumann fellow?

<b>                          BREAN
</b>            Ronnie says we don't need'em for another four days.
<b>                    (PAUSE)
</b>            ...s'there a problem?

<b>                          AMES
</b>            No.  No...Pentagon says, Army's got'em, they got'm in
            ..."Custody"...
<b>                    (PAUSE)
</b>
<b>                          BREAN
</b>            How's your wife?

<b>                          AMES
</b>            Fine.
<b>                    (PAUSE)
</b>
<b>THE DOOR BEHIND THEM OPENS.  BEAT.  THEN A WEEPING SECRETARY COMES OUT.
</b><b>BREAN, MOVES INTO THE ROOM, FOLLOWED BY AMES, WE SEE A ROOM FULL OF
</b><b>SECRETARIES, QUIETLY WEEPING.
</b><b>BREAN LOOKS AROUND FOR MOSS.  HE SPOTS HIM THROUGH THE OPEN DOOR.
</b>
<b>ANGLE.  HIS POV, IN THE OVAL OFFICE, MOSS, HANDING THE SPEECH BACK TO THE
</b><b>PRESIDENT.
</b>
<b>                          MOSS
</b>            "The Speech Won't Work..."

<b>MOSS STARTS OUT OF THE OFFICE, BACK TOWARD THE CAMERA, AND THEN TURNS BACK TO
</b><b>THE PRESIDENT.
</b>
<b>                          MOSS
</b>            ...and see if you can keep your dick in your pants two
            more weeks, <u>willya</u>...?
<b>                    (HE CLOSES THE DOOR)
</b><b>                    (TO HIMSELF, DEROGATORILY)
</b>            "...speech won't work..."

<b>AS HE STARTS TO LEAVE THE ROOM, ONE OF THE WEEPING SECRETARIES TAKES HIS HAND
</b><b>AND KISSES IT...
</b>
<b>HE PICKS UP HIS LOCKSMITH KIT, AND STARTS DOWN THE HALL, MOTIONING TO HIM TWO
</b><b>SECRET SERVICE ESCORTS, "LET'S GO..."
</b><b>HOLD ON THE WAITING ROOM, ONE OR TWO RESIDUAL WEEPING SECRETARIES DABBING AT
</b>THEIR EYES.  AND A SIGN ON THE BOARD, READING <u>6</u> DAYS TO ELECTION, AND %-IN-
<b>FAVOR -- 37%.  AN AIDE GOES OVER TO THE BOARD, A PHONE TO HIS EAR, AND WIPES
</b><b>OUT 37% AND INSERTS 27%.
</b>
<b>INT STUDIO APARTMENT NIGHT.
</b>
<b>A YOUNG FELLOW, IN BLUEJEANS AND T-SHIRT, EATING POPCORN OUT OF A BOWL AND
</b><b>WATCHING TELEVISION.
</b><b>ON THE TELEVISION, THE PRESIDENT, IN THE OVAL OFFICE.
</b>
<b>                          TV (VOICE OVER)
</b>            Ladies and Gentlemen, the President of the United
            States.

<b>WE SEE THE FORM OF THE PRESIDENT COME TO THE PODIUM, AND CAIN MOVES TO THE
</b><b>BACK OF THE READYROOM, WHERE SHE WATCHES, THROUGH A TWO-WAY MIRROR, THE BACK
</b><b>OF THE PRESIDENT, AS THE PRESIDENT PREPARES TO GIVE THE SPEECH.  WE SEE,
</b><b>BEYOND THE PRESIDENT THE PODIUM, AND THE GLASS WITH THE TELEPROMPTER TEXT
</b><b>PRINTED ON IT, AS IT SCROLLS UP, AND WE SEE CAIN FOLLOW ALONG, ON THE TEXT AT
</b><b>HER HAND.
</b>
<b>                          PRESIDENT
</b>            Thank you, would you be seated, please.
<b>                    (PAUSE)
</b>            Ladies and Gentlemen... I thank.  A merciful God.  And
            I am sure each and every one of us will thank that
            Supreme Power, whatever we conceive that power to be --
            that peace is at hand.

<b>MURMUR AMONG THE PRESSCORPS.  THE PRESIDENT CLEARS HIS THROAT, AND TAKES A SIP
</b><b>OF WATER.
</b><b>CAIN LOOKS UP, AND WE SEE ON A VIDEOMONITOR, WHICH SHOWS A REARVIEW OF THE
</b><b>PRESIDENT, THE SAME TELEPROMPTER IMAGE HE SEES, WHICH READS:
</b>            ...That peace is at hand...
<b>                    (CLEAR THROAT AND TAKE A DRINK)
</b>
<b>ANGLE
</b><b>THE PRESIDENT, CONTINUIN TO SPEAK.
</b>
<b>                          PRESIDENT
</b>            The threat of Nuc1ear Terrorism has been quelled.  We
            are in <u>contaot</u> with the Albanian Premier, who assures
            me, and this government <u>credits</u> his assurances, that
            his country does not wish us ill, and <u>has</u> not.  That
            the threat which we perceived was not of his wish, or
            of his making.

<b>ANGLE
</b><b>CAIN, MOUTHING ALONG, WITH THE SPEECH, SHE LOOKS DOWN, AND WE SEE WRITTEN, ON
</b><b>HER COPY.
</b>            of his making
<b>                    (BITE LIP)
</b>
<b>ANGLE
</b><b>AS WE LOOK UP, WE SEE THE PRESIDENT BITING HIS LIP, AND CONTINUING WITH THE
</b><b>SPEECH.
</b>
<b>                          PRESIDENT
</b>            From whence did it come?  Our information states it
            came from a small group of armed, dissidents.  Of Armed
            and Violent Dissidents...

<b>ANGLE
</b><b>ON CAIN, AS SHE LOOKS AROUND.
</b>
<b>ANGLE, HER POV.
</b><b>THE GROUP, LISTENING SPELLBOUND.
</b>
<b>ANGLE
</b><b>CAIN, AS SHE SMILES TO HERSELF.
</b>
<b>ANGLE
</b><b>ON THE PRESIDENT.  AS HE CONTINUES.
</b>
<b>                          PRESIDENT (C)
</b>             But that group has been, in the main, subdued.  Now:
             How did we come by this information?  And.  Who subdued
             that group?
<b>                     (THE PRESIDENT COUGHS)
</b>
<b>ANGLE
</b><b>CAIN LOOKS DOWN AT HER SCRIPT.  SHRUGS, AND LOOKS UP.
</b>
<b>ANGLE
</b><b>ON THE PRESSCORP, THE REPORTERS, LISTENING WIDEMOUTHED, TO THE PRESIDENT'S
</b><b>SPEECH.
</b>
<b>                          PRESIDENT
</b>            It falls to me to <u>reveal</u> to you a <u>secret</u>.
<b>                    (PAUSE)
</b>            To reveal the existence of a secret group of warriors.
            Men, yes, and <u>women</u>, trained and pledged their
            <u>strength</u>, their <u>skills</u>, and, if called upon, their
            <u>lives</u>, in the service of their fellow Americans.
            A group so secret, its very existence has been known to
            just a few, and known not by a Name, but by a
            Designation Number, Three-Oh-Three...

<b>INT HEADQUARTERS IN THE SHOESTORE IN THE MALL, NIGHT.
</b>
<b>LIZ, THE COSTUME DESIGNER, WORKING ON A DRAWING OF A SHOULDER PATCH, ON A
</b><b>BERET.  ON ONE SKETCH WE SEE IT IS ON A BLACK BERET, ON THE ONE BELOW IT IS ON
</b><b>A LEOPARDSKIN BERET.
</b><b>ONE VERSION HAS A COUGAR WITH AN OLILTE BRANCH, WE PAN ONTO VERSION TWO WHICH
</b><b>SHOWS A DOVE HOLDING A SWORD.  THE NUMERALS 303 FIGURE PROMINENTLY ON EACH.
</b><b>THE BANNER FOR THE MOTTO IS BLANK.
</b>
<b>                          LIZ
</b>            ...anybcdy know Latin.

<b>                          PRESIDENT
</b><b>                    (VO)
</b>            ...member of the group, was left behind what were,
            then, Enemy Lines.
<b>                    (PAUSE)
</b>
<b>ANGLE
</b><b>ON LIZ, AS SHE WALKS THROUGH THE H.Q., ON A BOARD WE SEE "DAYS TILL ELECTION
</b><b>6" AND % IN FAVOR 82%.  A HUGE TV SHOWS THE PRESIDENT.
</b>
<b>                          PRESIDENT
</b>            And I can only say, to those family members, <u>of</u> group
            303, which members are, I know, as I speak, gathering
            to comfort you, the parents of the missing man, I can
            only say,

<b>                          LIZ
</b>            I need a Latin Motto, anybody know n'y <u>Latin</u>...?

<b>                          PRESIDENT
</b>            ....and the Albanian Government <u>joins</u> with me, that no,
            I repeat, <u>No</u> effort will be apared, to find...

<b>ANGLE INT LIMO, BREAN AND MOSS WATCHING THE TV
</b>
<b>                          PRESIDENT
</b><b>                    (ON TV)
</b>            ...this brave man and to bring him home.

<b>BEAT.  BREAN REACHES OVER AND TURNS DOWN THE SOUND.
</b><b>THEY LOOK AT EACH OTHER AND SMILE.
</b>
<b>                          MOSS
</b>            Trump <u>that</u>, Senator Nole, you Howdy Doody <u>vontz</u>.

<b>                          BREAN
</b>            Not bad for government work.
<b>                    (PAUSE)
</b>            Having a good time.

<b>                          MOSS
</b>            Haven't had so much fun since Live TV.

<b>BREAN SIGHS, TAKES A PHOTO OF SCHUMANN FROM HIS POCKET, CAMERA SEES IT
</b><b>CAPTIONED WITH THE NAME WILLIAM SCHUMANN, ETC.
</b>
<b>                          PRESIDENT
</b><b>                    (HOLDS UP A PHOTOGRAPH)
</b>            Here's a photograph.  It is a photograph of a man.
            His name is William Schumann.  He is a Master Sergeant
            in the United States Army.  A member of the Squad
            303....dropped behind Albanian Lines.  We've just
            received this photograph, of Schumann in Captivity.
            Held by a dissident group of Albanian
            Terrorists...Now, I don't know how many of you are
            familiar with the Morse Code...but...could you bring
            the camera closer in here, please...?

<b>THE CAMERA PUSHES IN, TO A SECTION OF SCHUMANN'S SWEATER.
</b>
<b>                          PRESIDENT (VO)
</b>            You will see his sweater is <u>worn</u>...it has been
            unraveled in places, and those places form dashes and
            dots.

<b>ANGLE
</b><b>THE PRESIDENT, HOLDING THE PHOTOGRAPH
</b>
<b>                          PRESIDENT
</b>            Dashes and Dots.  And those dots spell out a message in
            the Morse Code.
            And that message is, "Courage, Mom..."
<b>                    (PAUSE.  PRESIDENT PAUSES, AS IF ALL
</b><b>                    CHOKED UP)
</b>            And he got the message through. "Courage.  Mom..."
<b>                    (PAUSE.  HE COMPOSES HIMSELF)
</b>            Well, to the Family of William A. Schumann, to the Men
            and Women of Unit 303, to my fellow citizens <u>I</u> say
            "courage."  I have informed the Albanian government,
            and I inform <u>you</u>, that we will not rest until the safe
            return of Sergeant Schwn&nn.
<b>                    (PAUSE)
</b>            I'm told his unit mates gave him the nickname, "Old
            Shoe."  Ladies and Gentleman, we will not <u>treat</u> him
            like an Old Shoe, we...

<b>ANGLE INT, 5HOESTORE HQ.  NIGHT.
</b><b>AMES, MOSS AND BREAN, LOOKING AT THE TV.
</b>
<b>                          MOSS
</b>            Trump <u>that</u>, Senator Nole, you Howdy-Doody-looking
            <u>Vontz</u>.

<b>ANGLE
</b><b>YOUNG PERSON'S APARTMENT, NIGHT.
</b>
<b>                          PRESIDENT
</b><b>                   (VO.  ON TELEVISION)
</b>            ...we will <u>not</u> be swayed, will, will not be <u>swayed</u>
            from <u>Every</u> effort to find <u>our</u> Old Shoe, our...

<b>WE HEAR A YOUNG WOMAN'S VOICE
</b>
<b>                          YOUNG WOMAN
</b><b>                   (VO)
</b>            Hey...?

<b>ANGLE
</b><b>ON THE YOUNG MAN, AS HE TURNS.  WE SEE, BEHIND HIM, AN UNMADE BED, AND A YOUNG
</b><b>WOMAN, THE AIDE FROM THE SHOESTORE H.Q., WRAPPED IN A SHEET.
</b>
<b>                          AIDE
</b>            ...wasn't there a folksong called "Old Shoe?"  Wasn't
            there an old, uh ..."folksong"...

<b>WHITEHOUSE SITUATION ROOM, WE SEE THE BOARD, READING, DAYS TO ELECTION, ET
</b><b>CETERA, AND THE AIDE, STANDING BY THE PERCENTAGE IN FAVOR SIGN WHICH NOW
</b><b>READS 37%, THE AIDE CROSSES OUT 37 AND WRITES IN 41, THEN LISTENS, AND WIPES
</b><b>OUT THE ONE AND MAKES IT 47.
</b>
<b>EXT.  POOR NEIGHBORHOOD.  NIGHT.
</b>
<b>A BLACK LIMO GLIDES SLOWLY THROUGH THE STIEET.
</b>
<b>ANGLE, INT THE LIMO.
</b><b>BREAN AND MOSS IN THE BACKSEAT.
</b>
<b>                          MOSS
</b>            It's all, <u>you</u> know ... thinking ahead.  Thinking
            Ahead.  That's what producing is.
<b>                    (PAUSE)
</b>            It's like being a piumber.

<b>                          BREAN
</b>            Mmm...

<b>                          MOSS
</b>            You do your job right, nobody should notice.

<b>                          BREAN
</b>            Mmm.         

<b>                          MOSS
</b>            S'only when you fuck up, everything gets full of shit.
<b>                    (PAUSE)
</b>            Do you think we could line him up for the Peace Prize?

<b>                          BREAN
</b>            Hey, our job ends at the Finish Line.

<b>                          MOSS
</b>            Yes, but I, well, <u>you</u> know...

<b>                          BREAN
</b>            Just for the Symmetry of the thing...?

<b>                          MOSS
</b>            ...that's right.

<b>                          BREAN
</b>            If they can give Kissenger the Peace Prize, I wouldn't
            be surprised to wake up and find I'd won the Preakness.

<b>                          MOSS
</b>            Well, yes, but the guy <u>did</u> bring Peace.

<b>                          BREAN
</b>            Yes, but there wasn't a War.

<b>                          MOSS
</b>            All the greater accomplishment.

<b>THEY LOOK AT THE TELEVISION, PLAYING SILENTLY.
</b>
<b>ANGLE INS. THE TV SHOWING THE SHOULDER PATCH OF GROUP 303, THE NUMERALS AND A
</b><b>DOVE HOLDING A SWORD, AND A WOLF HOLDING AN OLIVE BRANCH.  AND THE WORD
</b><b>"VOLO."  BREAN INCREASES THE VOLUME A BIT.
</b>
<b>                          ANNOUNCER
</b>            "Volo," meaning, "I will."  As the President bends all
            <u>his</u> will, to find, and to restore to his country, to
            his family, and to what are his mounting legion of
            friends, William Schumann, the Commando Ranger of
            detacment 3.0.3. -- Sgt. William Schumann...the Old
            Shoe.

<b>                          BREAN
</b><b>                    (SIGHS)
</b>            Hell of a thing...
<b>                    (HE LOOKS OUT OF WINDOW.  TO THE
</b><b>                    DRIVER)
</b>            Stop there..

<b>THE LIMO STOPS.  BREAN AND MOSS EXIT THE LIMO, TAKING A LARGE CARDBOARD BOX
</b><b>WITH THEM.
</b>
<b>ANGLE, EXT, THE LIMO
</b>
<b>BREAN AND MOSS, BENT OVER A BOX OF WHAT ARE REVEALED TO BE OLD SHOES.
</b>
<b>                          BREAN
</b>            Ya got to hand it to the Fad King.

<b>                          MOSS
</b>            No, he's my Hero.

<b>THEY PICK UP SEVERAL OLD SHOES, TIE THEM TOGETHER, AND BEGIN HEAVING THEM UP
</b><b>ONTO A LAMPPOST ON THE DESOLATE STREET.  A SMALL AFRICAN-AMERICAN BOY COMS
</b><b>UP, AND LOOKS THROUGH THE BOX.
</b>
<b>                          KID
</b>            ...these Shoes are <u>ratty</u>...

<b>                          BREAN
</b>            Yeah, well, that's why we're flinging them away...

<b>THE KID SHRUGS, TAKES SEVERAL SHOES OUT OF THE BOX.  BREAN AND MOSS GET INTO
</b><b>THE LIMO, WHICH BEGINS TO DRIVE AWAY.  THE KID BEGINS TYING SHOES TOGETHER
</b><b>AND WALKS DOWN THE STREET AND HEAVES ANOTHER PAIR UP TO ANOTHER LAMPPOST.
</b>
<b>ANGLE
</b><b>RICH NEIGHBORHOOD.  SUBURBS NIGHT.
</b><b>WEALTHY LOOKING WHITE GUY OUT WAKING HIS DOG.  LIMO COMES UP BEHIND HIM.
</b><b>BREAN GETS OUT OF HIS CAR AND TAKES A CARDBOARD BOX OUT, AFTER HIM.  HE
</b><b>RUMMAGES THROUGH THE BOX.  FINDS A PAIR OF RATTY "SPERRY TOPSIDER," AND FLINGS
</b><b>THEM UP INTO THE TREE.
</b>
<b>INT RICH WHITE FELLOW'S HOUSE. NIGHT.
</b>
<b>THE MAN ENTERS THE BACK-DOOR, WITH THE DOG.
</b>
<b>INT LIVING-ROOM.  HIS WIFE, KNITTING, LISTENING TO THE RADIO.
</b>
<b>                          MAN
</b>            ...there was a fellow in a limousine, outside,
            throwing...

<b>SHE SHUSHES HIM.  WE HEAR, ON THE RADIO:
</b>
<b>                          RADIO
</b><b>                    (SINGING, AS PER THE RECORDING WE HEARD
</b><b>                    PREVIOUSLY)
</b>            ..."Dog Was Loyal, and the Dog was True...n'there's
            never been a better than my Good Old Shoe...Good Old
            Shoe...Good Old Shoe...Never have ta call'im when
            there's Work to do...If I get to Heaven when the Day is
            Through.  I'll know I'll see him waitin', Jest a Good
            Old Shoe..."

<b>ANGLE, ON THE MAN, AS HE NODS ALONG IN TIME, TO THE WISDOM OF THE SONG.
</b>
<b>                          F.M. ANNOUNCER (VO)
</b>            ...was just discovered.  A l93O's recording, part of
            the folksong collection of the Library of Congress, and
            a fitting...

<b>THE MAN, MOVED, GOES INTO THE KITCHEN, WHERE HE POURS HIMSELF A DRINK,
</b><b>SWITCHING ON THE TV, WHERE WE SEE JIM BELUSHI, DOING "PANE:" ON SOME TALK
</b><b>SHOW.
</b>
<b>                          JIM BELUSHI
</b>            ...and there's just one thing I'd like to say, and I am
            speaking to those in Albania who have the man in
            custody, and from the bottom of my heart:

<b>HE TURNS TOWARD THE CAMERA, AND BEGINS SPEAKING IN ALBANIAN.
</b>
<b>DISSOLVE
</b>
<b>INT FACTORY LUNCHROOM.  DAY.
</b>
<b>A BUNCH OF WORKERS EATING, SOUNDS OF HEAVY MACHINERY IN THE B.G., AS OTHER
</b><b>WORKERS ENTER.  SEVERAL PEOPLE WATCHING A SOAP OPERA.
</b>
<b>ANGLE
</b><b>ONE WORKER, WITH A T-SHIRT READING, "COURAGE, MOM," AND A PHOTO OF SCHUMANN,
</b><b>CHECKS HER WATCH, AND SWITCHES THE CHANNEL TO A NEWSCAST.
</b>
<b>                          NEWSCASTER (ON TV)
</b>            ...the City <u>Council</u>, Denying the charges of...and this
            just in...the search for William Schumann continues.
            NATO, US, and Albanian Forces continue to scour the
            countryside, as...

<b>ANGLE
</b><b>ANOTHER SMALL GROUP OF WORKERS, SEVERAL WEARING, "FUCK ALBANIA" T-5HIRTS.  ONE
</b>
<b>INT SHOESTORE H.Q.
</b>
<b>THE BLANK "% IN FAVOR" CHART. IS FILLED IN BY THE HAND OF AN AIDE.  IT READS
</b><b>"87."  CAMERA PULLS BACK TO SHOW "3" DAYS TIL ELECTION.
</b>
<b>BREAN AND MOSS AND THE FAD KING, LEAVING THE OFFICE, AN AIDE COMES AFTER THEM.
</b>
<b>                          AIDE
</b>            ...White House wants to know about the Congressional
            Medal of Honor.

<b>                          BREAN
</b>            What about it?

<b>                          AIDE
</b>            For Schumann.

<b>                          BREAN
</b>            Well, well, well, well, wait a minute, we got 86
            percent.  We bring'em back <u>tomorrow</u>, the charts go up,
            they don't go <u>down</u>...

<b>THEY WALY THROUGH THE MALL, PAST A NEWSSTAND SHOWING TIME AND NEWSWEEK BOTH
</b><b>OF WHICH BREAN PICKS UP, ONE SHOWS THE PHOTO OF SCHUMANN AND THE LEGEND,
</b><b>"COURAGE, MOM," THE OTHER A PHOTO OF SCHUMANN, AND THE LEGEND, "GIVE HIM
</b><b>BACK."  THE VENDOR IS WEARING A "303" T-SHIRT.
</b>
<b>                          BREAN
</b>            I don't wanna tell them their business, but why not
            wait to give it to him <u>after</u> the election.  When he's
            gonna need some help....

<b>THE AIDE NODS AND RETIRES.
</b><b>BREAN GESTURES AT THE KID WITH THE 303 T-SHIRT.
</b>
<b>                          BREAN
</b>            <u>King</u>...

<b>                          FAD KING
</b>            All part of the Service we Render.

<b>                          MOSS
</b><b>                    (OF BREAN, TO FAD KING)
</b>            He ain't seen <u>nothin'</u> yet.

<b>                          FAD KING
</b>            When do you bring'em back?  Schumann.

<b>                          BREAN
</b><b>                    (LOOKS AROUND)
</b>            Schumann. We're gonna go pick him up tonight.

<b>                          FAD KING
</b>            Where is he?

<b>                          BREAN
</b>            Out in Oklahoma.

<b>                          MOSS
</b>            Going to make a little stop back home, pick up my
            shirts, show him a little treat.

<b>                          FAD KING
</b>            See y'at the Finish Line.

<b>AS THEY WALK AWAY, MOSS CALLS BACK.
</b>
<b>                          MOSS
</b>            Tell'em to fly the Inaugural Speech past me.

<b>                          BREAN
</b>            Inaugural Speech, press corp's gonna be jealous of
            giving up that one...

<b>                          MOSS
</b>            Hey, lemme close out the thing in style.

<b>                          MOSS
</b>            I've come to feel It's my thing.
<b>                    (PAUSE)
</b>            You know, you take a job... You take a job, and, many
            times, it's <u>just</u> a job.  And then...

<b>                          BREAN
</b>            Hell of a Ride, Stanley...

<b>                          MOSS
</b>            ...<u>isn't</u> it?
<b>                    (PAUSE)
</b>            Hey, what-the-hey ... it's all part of the
            bittersweet...

<b>HE GESTURES WITH HIS HANDS, LOOKING FOR THE WORD.
</b>
<b>INT L.A. LAKERS, STADIUM, NIGHT.
</b>
<b>BREAN AND MOSS.  LOOKING ON, A SILENT AUDITORIUM, MOSS TALKING ON THE PHONE.
</b><b>BREAN SHUSHES HIM.  MOSS LOOKS UP.
</b>
<b>ANGLE HIS P.O.V.
</b>
<b>THE LAKERS, AND THE OPPOSING TEAM, SILENTLY, IN TWO RANKS, LOOKING ON AS A
</b><b>CHOIR OF YOUNGSTERS OF ALL RACES FILES ONTO THE COURT, AND, DIRECTED BY THEIR
</b><b>CHOIRHASTER, BEGINS TO SING, IN MANY PART HARMONY, "GOOD OLD SHOE."
</b>
<b>AS THEY CONCLUDE, THE BASKETHALL PLAYERS TAKE OFF THEIR SHOES, AND FLING THEM
</b><b>INTO THE STANDS, WHICH CHEER.
</b>
<b>ANGLE
</b><b>BREAN, MOSS, AND AMES, IN A SKYHOX, WATCHING THE SPECTACLE.
</b><b>BREAN SHAKES HIS HEAD IN SATISFACTION.
</b>
<b>                          MOSS
</b>            No business like it.

<b>THEY WALK OUT OF THE BOX.
</b>
<b>INT LIMO, LEAVING THE STADIUM.  POURING RAIN.  THE GUARD MOTIONS FOR THE LIMO
</b><b>TO STOP, CHECKS THEIR I.D., AND SAYS, "COURAGE, MOM..."  THE GUARDS WEAR A
</b><b>LAPEL PIN OF AN OLD SHOE.
</b>
<b>ANGLE
</b><b>MOSS AND BREAN LOOKING OUT OF THE WINDOW.
</b>
<b>ANGLE, THEIR POV.
</b><b>EVERY TREE AND LAMPPOST HAS A PAIR OF OLD SHOES HANGING IN IT.
</b>
<b>ANGLE INT THE LIMO.
</b><b>BREAN, MOSS, AND AMES, BREAN NODDING, DEEP IN THOUGHT.
</b><b>THE RADIO IN THE LIMO IS PLAYING AN AUDIO VERSION OF THE "DON'T SWITCH
</b><b>HORSES," COMMERCIAL.
</b>
<b>                          COWHOY
</b><b>                    (VO)
</b>            Rode the fifteen miles from the <u>Bottomland</u>, n'I was a-
            gonna switch him for a <u>fresher</u> one to do the Ropin'...

<b>                          COWBOY #2
</b><b>                    (VO)
</b>            Waal, but, you know, my Paw always said, Ya Don't
            Switch Horses...

<b>                          ANNOUNCER
</b>            Don't switch Horses.  Vote.  And vote for the man who
            brought <u>peace</u> to...

<b>MOSS REACHES OVER AND TURNS OFF THE RADIO, SIGHS.
</b>
<b>                          MOSS
</b>            Fucking <u>amateurs</u>.  Pity of it is, two more days, we
            bring it all back home...

<b>                          BRKAN
</b>            ...knock wood...

<b>                          MOSS
</b>            And who's gonna know?
<b>                    (PAUSE)
</b>            Who's gonna know what we did.
<b>                    (PAUSE)
</b>            Who's gonna know...?

<b>                          BREAN
</b><b>                    (SHRUGS)
</b>            Pride of a job-well-done...

<b>                          AMES
</b>            It's the Pride of a Job Well Done, Stanley, yes, but
            it's <u>more</u> than that.

<b>                          MOSS
</b><b>                    (DISTRACTED)
</b>            ...mmm?

<b>                          AMES
</b>            It's the gratitude of your <u>party</u>, and of your
            <u>President</u>...

<b>                          MOSS
</b>            Izzat the thing...

<b>                          AMES
</b>            Indeed it is.

<b>MOSS LOOKS OUT OF THE WINDOW.
</b>
<b>ANGLE, OUT OF HIS WINDOW.  AN L.A. VIADUCT, IN THE POURING RAIN, SPRAY
</b><b>PAINTED, WITH A HUGE MURAL OF SCHUMANN, AND THE WORDS, "COURAGE, MOM..."
</b>
<b>                          BREAN
</b><b>                    (ON HIS PHONE)
</b>            Dean City, Oklahoma...
<b>                    (SHRUGS)
</b>            Army Special Programs -- tell'em to bring Schumann to
            the plane, n we'll bring him back, stash him the
            Hospital...Call the plane....tell me where to pick'm
            up.

<b>MOSS LOOKS OUT OF THE WINDOW, AT THE MURAL.  LOOKS OVER IN ADMIRATION AT
</b><b>BREAN.
</b>
<b>                          MOSS
</b>            I'll bet you're good at Chess.

<b>                          BREAN
</b>            I would be, I could remember how all the pieces move...

<b>INT CORPORATE JET NIGHT.
</b>
<b>THE AIRBORNE JET, NIGHT, BREAN AND MOSS RELAXING.
</b><b>A CO-PILOT COMES BACK INTO THE CABIN, AND CAMERA HINGES HIM TO A BAR -- HE
</b><b>TAKES OUT A BOTTLE AND TOPS UP DRINKS FOR THE TWO MEN --
</b>
<b>HE PROGRESSES DOWN THE AISLE, WHERE WE SEE AMES ON THE PHONE.
</b>
<b>                          AMES
</b><b>                    (ON PHONE)
</b>            ...aspect of the inaugural which.... No.  No, the
            thinking is, to <u>Wait</u> on the Congressional... hello?
<b>                    (TO THE CO-PILOT)
</b>            We getting some.... hello?  Some interference...?

<b>                          CO-PILOT
</b>            Little rough weather.

<b>                          AMES
</b><b>                    (AS THE PHONE COMES BACK ON)
</b>            To wait on the Congressional Medal for Schumann.  Moss
            and Brean think, and I agree, why spend it til you need
            it.
<b>                    (PAUSE)
</b>            No.  Go ahead and pre... go ahead and <u>prepare</u> it.
            Sure.
<b>                    (PAUSE)
</b>            Well, you... hello?  You can find the info on him in
            the Army Special... Hello?  The Army Special Programs.

<b>CAMERA TRAVELS UP THE CABIN AGAIN, WITH THE CO-PILOT.
</b>
<b>                          CO-PILOT
</b>            We're seeing some difficult weather out of Oklahoma --
            but the captain thinks that we'll be fine.

<b>                          BREAN
</b><b>                    (TALKING ON THE TELEPHONE)
</b>            Against...who could be aggressor....Help me out
            here...Units of 303, the Defense Department confirms,
            early this morning, Albanian Time, stormed a mountain
            hideaway, near the city of -- help me out here -- and
            freed a tired, but happy William Schumann, Suffering
            no casualties.  His condition is reported as Guarded,
            and his route to the US has not been disclosed, but a
            high White House source confirms he is expected in
            Washington tomorrow morning...no, that's for the wire
            service.  Moss's working on Big Bird's Inaugural.
<b>                    (PAUSE)
</b>            Nine A.M...?
<b>                    (TO MOSS)
</b>            Nine?  Miss the commuters, but...

<b>                         MOSS
</b>            ...we'll gettim in their cars.

<b>                          BREAN
</b><b>                    (INTO PHONE)
</b>            Yeah, we'll gettem in their cars.
<b>                    (TO SELF)
</b>            I'm slowing down...
<b>                    (TO PHONE)
</b>            No, no.  Look, lookit:  I think it's a mistake, well,
            I'll <u>tell</u> you why:  you got'em by the balls, <u>Squeeze</u>.
<b>                    (PAUSE)
</b>            Because Schumann's the Shark.  He's ...<u>Jaws</u>.  You have
            to <u>tease</u>'em... You don't puttem in the first reel of
            the movie...
<b>                    (MOSS NODS)
</b>            Bring'em back <u>slow</u>, the President...  No, no, put him
            on.  Put him on.
<b>                    (PAUSE.  HE COVERS PHONE)
</b>            President wants to reveal Scbumann before the election.

<b>                          MOSS
</b>            Big mistake.

<b>                          BREAN
</b><b>                    (INTO PHONE)
</b>            Hell, yes, we're, we're on our way to get him now.  No.
            Lookit:  it's like a girl with her virginity,
            y'understand...

<b>MOSS NODS ALONG.
</b>
<b>                          BREAN
</b><b>                    (CONT)
</b>            Guy says he'll respect her tomorrow, he <u>might</u>, but why
            take a chance?  Hold out til after you're married.
            That's... that's.... looky, we're offering'em Schumann,
            make em <u>vote</u> for hhhh.... psychologically, they will
            understand that that's the bargain.  Make them pay for
            him.  Make... that's right, the price is their vote.
            Now, we bring him home, the President announces he is
            flying <u>home</u>, he's <u>here</u>, he's <u>there</u>... f'there the
            election, TA DA, here he is.
<b>                    (PAUSE)
</b>            Have him say it like I wrote it, It'll be fine.
            Thanks.
<b>                    (HE HANGS UP.)
</b>            Labor, five bucks an hour.  If you <u>watch</u>, <u>ten</u> bucks an
            hour.  If you <u>help</u> ... if you <u>help</u>, a <u>hundred</u> bucks an
            hour.

<b>                          MOSS
</b>            Hey, lcokit:  <u>any</u> business...

<b>                          BREAN
</b>            Ain't <u>that</u> the truth.
<b>                    (PAUSE)
</b>
<b>                          MOSS
</b>            Whattaya gonna do when this is all over?

<b>                          BREAN
</b>            What am <u>I</u> gonna do?  I'm gonna "Fade Away."
<b>                    (SMILES)
</b>            What are you gonna do?

<b>                          MOSS
</b><b>                    (LAUGHS)
</b>            Well, I'll be damned if I <u>know</u> ... you know... doing
            this <u>thing</u> ...
<b>                    (PAUSE)
</b>            You know what the worst word is, in the English
            Language?  It's ïretirement."  What the <u>hell</u> was I
            thinking of?  Hell, I used to...

<b>BREAN NUDGES HIM, TO LOOK AT THE TV.
</b>
<b>THEY SETTLE BACK, LOOK AT THE TV.
</b>
<b>ANGLE, ON A TV, A COUNTRY MUSIC SPECTACULAR.  WILLIE NELSON IS CALLED TO THE
</b><b>STAGE, SITS ON HIS STOOL, PLAYS A FEW BARS FOR NOTHING, AND THEN
</b>A RENDITION OF "<u>COURAGE, MOM</u>."

<b>ANGLE, IN THE AUDIENCE, PAN OVER THE FACES, ONE TEENAGE GIRL IN A 858
</b><b>SWEATSHIRT, BEARING THE LOGO, AND THE WORD, "VOLO," IS SILENTLY, TEARFULLY,
</b><b>MOUTHING THE WORDS ALONG WITH WILLIE.
</b>
<b>                          WILLIE NELSON
</b>            "What have you got at the end of the day?  How do you
            keep those fears at bay?  What do you say, when there's
            nothin' to say?  <u>Courage, Mom</u>..."
<b>                    (ET CETERA)
</b>
<b>ANGLE
</b><b>MOSS AND BREAN.
</b>
<b>                          BREAN
</b>            We pick up Schumann.  Sneak him back inside the Beltway.
            And we plan his homecoming.  Zt's gone be Neil
            Armstrong, Dr. Livingston, and <u>Lindy</u>...They're gonna
            forget, they're gonna forget, they're gonna forget that
            there <u>is</u> an election...The Pres's gonna have to say,
            one of his speeches, "Don't forget to Vote..."

<b>                          MOSS
</b>            I got it in the inaugural.  "Thank you for voting for
            me, but, <u>as</u> importantly:  Thank you for <u>voting</u>...
<b>                    (HE GESTUR£S AT A SHEAF OF PAPERS)
</b>
<b>                          BREAN
</b><b>                    (GRINS)
</b>            Getting off on the inaugural?
<b>                    (MOSS NODS)
</b>            Gonna go...

<b>                          MOSS
</b>            Might, if I was asked...
<b>                    (HE SMILES)
</b>
<b>ANGLE THE OKLAHOMA AIRPORT.  NIGHT.
</b>
<b>IN THE POURING RAIN, THE PLANE, BEING WAVED TO A PARKING SPACE.  IN THE B.G.
</b><b>AN ARMY TRUCK, SURROUNDED BY CHASE CARS, PULLS UP, WE READ, "UNITED STATES
</b><b>ARMY.  SPECIAL P..."  AND THE REST OF THE WORD OBSCURED.
</b>
<b>ANGLE
</b><b>INT THE PLANE.  AS THE TWO UNBUCKLE, AND STRETCH.
</b>
<b>                          MOSS
</b>            But, you know, <u>this</u> is the meeting, Ron?  You think
            about it.  <u>This</u> is the meeting.  This, here.  Schumann
            and us.  King Kong and the Trainers...this's it... What
            are you working on?

<b>ANGLE
</b><b>ON BREAN, WHO IS DOODLING.
</b>
<b>                          BREAN
</b>            Medal.  Medal and Ribbon.

<b>                          MOSS
</b>            Of what?

<b>                          BREAN
</b>            The Albanian Campaign.

<b>                          MOSS
</b><b>                    (TO HIMSELF)
</b>            ...the Albanian Campaign.  This... this is history...

<b>AMES COMES UP FROM THE BACK OF THE PLANE.
</b>
<b>                          AMES
</b>            ...The Albanian Campaign...

<b>                          MOSS
</b>            ...like the <u>sound</u> of it, eh...

<b>                          AMES
</b>            We've got to put that, into the Inaugural.  "I have
            here, a ribbon.  You haven't seen it before, and you
            will not see it too often <u>now</u>.  For it is the Proud
            Possession of a few, a very few Men and Women... it is
            the Ribbon of the Albanian Campaign...."

<b>THE OTHER TWO LOOK AT HIM ADMIRINGLY.
</b>
<b>                          MOSS
</b>            Wilfred, that's not bad.

<b>                          BREAN
</b>            That's not bad at all.

<b>                          AMES
</b>            Well, you know, "The Whole Thing's Theatre..."

<b>THE OTHER TWO MEN LAUGH WITH HIM.
</b>
<b>                          BREAN
</b>            Napoleon said, fellow won't sell you his life, but he
            will trade it to you for a little piece of ribbon.

<b>                          MOSS
</b>            ...the Albanian Campaign.
<b>                    (PAUSE)
</b>            And we won't even be a footnote...

<b>                          BREAN
</b>            We <u>were</u> the Albanian campaign, John -- <u>We Were There</u>.

<b>HE CLEARS HIS THROAT.  HE LOOKS OUT THROUGH THE WINDOW.  WE SEE A MILITARY
</b><b>CONVOY APPROACHING.  THE DOOR TO THE COCKPIT OPENS, THE PILOT GOES OUT.
</b>
<b>                          PILOT
</b>            Gentlemen, little problematical weather.

<b>                          BREAN
</b>            Well, c'n we get him back home?

<b>                          PILOT
</b>            Could if we had to.  Rather not.  Rough weather.

<b>BREAN AND MOSS GET UP, MOVE TOWARD THE FRONT OF THE PLANE, MOSS LOOKING OUT
</b><b>OF THE WINDOW.
</b>
<b>                          MOSS
</b>            Well, they're protecting him well enough.

<b>                          BREAN
</b>            They should be.  Most valuable animal since Sea
            Biscuit.  <u>Isn't</u> he...

<b>                          MOSS
</b>            Bigger than that.  For want of a nail a <u>Kingdom</u> was
            lost...

<b>                          BREAN
</b>            You've <u>got</u> something, there...

<b>                          AMES
</b><b>                    (WRITING)
</b>            Napoleon said -- A man will not sell you his
            life...

<b>THEY LOOK OUT THE WINDOW, START STRAIGHTENING UP THEIR CLOTHING, ET CETERA, IN
</b><b>PREPARATION FOR MEETING SCHUMANN.
</b><b>BREAN LOOKS HACK OVER HIS SHOULDER AT THE TELEVISION.
</b>
<b>ANGLE HIS POV.
</b><b>ON THE TV A PICTURE HEADED "ANDREWS AIRFORCE BASE," AND SIGNS OF SCAFFOLDING
</b><b>BEING CONSTRUCTED, AND BUNTING PUT UP.  CUTS TO A TALKING HEAD, IN FRONT OF A
</b><b>PHOTO OF SCHUMANN.
</b>
<b>ANGLE
</b><b>MOSS AND BREAN.
</b>
<b>                          BREAN
</b>            ...a masterpiece...

<b>                          MOSS
</b><b>                    (SHRUGS)
</b>            ...givem what they want...But...

<b>THEY MOVE TOWARD THE FRONT OF THE PLANE.
</b><b>THEY RUN INTO THE PILOT.
</b>
<b>                          PILOT
</b>            Weather's worsening, sir...might be advisable, wait it
            out, on the ground, till..

<b>                          BREAN
</b><b>                    (NODS)
</b>            We're due at Andrews.
<b>                    (LOOKS AT HIS WATCH)
</b>
<b>                          PILOT
</b>            Well, I wouldn't go up in it, lest I had to...

<b>                          MOSS
</b><b>                    (TO AMES)
</b>            Here he comes...

<b>THEY HEAR THE PLANE DOOR OPENING.
</b><b>THEY ALL STRAIGHTEN UP AND SMILE, AS SCHUMANN, A RAINCOAT OVER HIS SHOULDERS,
</b><b>IS LED ONTO THE PLANE, FLANKED BY 4 M.P.'S, AND AN OFFICER, WITH A CLIPBOARD.
</b>
<b>                          MOSS
</b>            Sergeant Schumann?  If I may?  Welcome to History...

<b>                          AMES
</b>            Sergeant Schumann?  My name is Ames.  <u>Welcome</u>.

<b>                          OFFICER
</b>            S'mby named Brean?  Sign here...

<b>                          BREAN
</b><b>                    (TO THE PILOT)
</b>            Captain...  You wanna Take'er up...?

<b>                          PILOT
</b>            Heavy weather East of here.

<b>                          BREAN
</b>            Whaddaya think?

<b>                          PILOT
</b>            Six to five and pick'em...you wanna <u>chance</u> it...

<b>THEY ARE QUIET, AS SOUNDS OF THE TV FILTER IN.  AN EXCITED NEWSCASTER.
</b>
<b>                          NEWSCASTER
</b><b>                    (ON TV)
</b>            Word that William Schumann, the Old Shoe, is
            expected back, today, and that a <u>glimpse</u> of him...

<b>                          MOSS
</b>            Let's fly, if it'll fly... People waiting for us...

<b>THE PHONE RINGS.  BREAN ANSWERS IT.
</b>
<b>                          BREAN
</b><b>                    (ON PHONE.  HE HAS NOT YET REGISTERED
</b><b>                    SCHUMANN)
</b>            ...child at the airport...
<b>                    (TO MOSS)
</b>            breaks through the ranks, runs to "old shoe" --
            should we have <u>flower</u> or a <u>bear</u>...?

<b>                          AMES
</b>            Uh...Didn't we <u>do</u> this?

<b>                          BREAN
</b>            Never quit a winner.

<b>                          MOSS
</b>            I thought they weren't meeting him at the airport...

<b>                          BREAN
</b>            They insist they wanna go with meeting him at the
            airport.  I told'em they're wrong, I can't convince'em.
            They're concerned that the last kid had the <u>Wheat</u>.
            Variations include, the kid is a <u>boy</u>, the kid is <u>twins</u>,
            it's a little <u>dog</u> ... they rub meat on Schumann's cuff,
            the dog runs to him...

<b>                          MOSS
</b><b>                    (OF SCHUMANN)
</b>            Uh...

<b>IN THE B.G. BREAN FINISHES SIGNING THE CLIPBOARD, THE OFFICER NODS TO THE
</b><b>M.P.'S, AND THEY SALUTE AND DEPART, THE OFFICER HANDS A KEY TO BREAN.
</b>
<b>                          AMES
</b><b>                    (OF KEY)
</b>            What's this...?

<b>THE OFFICER TAKES THE RAINCOAT FROM SCHUMANN'S SHOULDERS, REVEALING HE IS IN A
</b><b>PRISON UNIFORM, AND HEAVILY MANACLED.  THE MAN, IS SCHUMANN, AN UNMISTAKABLE
</b><b>DERANGED, DROOLING, PSYCHO-NUTTER.  HOLD.
</b>
<b>                          OFFICER
</b><b>                    (TAKES A KEY ON A CHAIN FROM AROUND HIS
</b><b>                    NECK -- HANDS IT TO BREAN)
</b>            Key to the manacles...

<b>THE OFFICER SALUTES, STARTS OUT OF THE PLANE.
</b>
<b>ANGLE.  AMES LOOKS BACK, AT THE MANACLED SCHUMANN, AND BREAN GLARING, OPEN
</b><b>MOUTHED AT HIM.
</b>
<b>ANGLE
</b><b>EXT THE PLANE, THE OFFICER RETREATING, IN THE RAIN, TO THE TRUCK, AMES,
</b><b>RUNNING AFTER HIM.
</b>
<b>                          AMES
</b>            Wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait...
<b>                    (HE CATCHES UP WITH THE OFFICER)
</b>            What did he...what...what's the trouble?

<b>                          OFFICER
</b>            No trouble at all.

<b>                          AMES
</b>            What did he <u>do</u>...?

<b>THE OFFICER CONSULTS HIS CLIPBOARD.
</b><b>CAMERA PANS TO SHOW THE VAN READS "MILITARY SPECIAL PRISONS."
</b>
<b>ANGLE
</b><b>INT, THE PLANE, BREAN, LOOKING AT SCHUMANN.  HOLD.  MOSS ENTERS THE PLANE.
</b>
<b>ANGLE
</b><b>ON MOSS, AS HE MOVES TO HIS BRIEFCASE, AND EXTRACTS THE TELEPHONE-LIKE BOOK,
</b><b>HE TURNS TO THE FRONT PAGE, AND WE SEE THE TITLE IS "MILITARY SPECIAL
</b><b>PRISONS."
</b>
<b>ANGLE
</b><b>MOSS AND BREAN.  MOSS HANDS BREAN THE BOOK.  BREAN LOOKS.  TURNS TO MOSS.  AND
</b><b>THEN TO SCHUMANN.
</b>
<b>                          BREAN
</b>            ...how ya doing?

<b>MOSS TAKES THE CLIPBOARD, AND READS, WHILE AMES SITS STUNNED.
</b>
<b>                          SCHUMANN
</b>            Fine.

MOSS HOLDS UP THE <u>MILITARY</u> DIRECTORY.

<b>                          MOSS
</b>            I think we asked for "special programs" and they gave
            us "special prisons."

<b>                          BREAN
</b>            Yeah, well -- it's only one word difference.

<b>AMES DRAWS MOSS ASIDE.
</b>
<b>                          AMES
</b><b>                    (SOTTO)
</b>            He, uh, has he been in the "jail" long?

<b>                          MOSS
</b>            ...twelve years.

<b>BREAN NODS.
</b>
<b>                         AMES
</b>            Much more...uh, he have much more time to "serve?"

<b>MDSS SHAKES HIS HEAD, SPREADS HIS HANDS APART TO ARM'S LENGTH.
</b><b>PAUSE
</b><b>                          AMES
</b><b>                    (BRAVING IT)
</b>            What'd he do?

<b>                          MOSS
</b>            He raped a nun.
<b>                    (PAUSE)
</b>
<b>                          AMES
</b>            Yeeaahhh...  Ohmigod ... ohmigod... ohmigod...

<b>                          MOSS
</b><b>                    (READING FROM THE CLIPBOARD)
</b>            ...and...

<b>                          AMES
</b>            And?  NO.  I don't wanna know.
<b>                    (PAUSE)
</b>            What do you <u>mean</u> "and..."?

<b>                          MOSS
</b><b>                    (READING)
</b>            Look, look, look....
<b>                    (HE HOLDS UP A SMALL VIAL, READS.)
</b>            He's fine, as long as he has his medication.

<b>                          AMES
</b>            What happens if he doesn't have his medication?

<b>                          MOSS
</b>            He's not fine.

<b>BREAN GOES TO THE FRONT OF THE PLANE.
</b>
<b>                          BREAN
</b>            Yeah, Captain, uh, yeah, Captain, uh, y'better get us
            back to Washington.

<b>BREAN POURS HIMSELF A DRINK.  PAUSE.  TO SCHUMANN.
</b>
<b>                          BREAN
</b>            How are'ya...

<b>DISSOLVE
</b>
<b>INT THE PLANE  NIGHT.
</b>
<b>INSERT.
</b><b>THE VIAL OF PILLS, LABELLED, "MILITARY SPECIAL PRISONS," SCHUMANN, WILLIAM.
</b><b>A.  TWO PILLS EVERY FOUR HOURS.  SHOULD THE PATIENT BECOME VIOLENT THE DOSAGE
</b><b>CAN BE INCREASED TO...
</b><b>THE PILLS SPILL OUT OF THE FRAME.
</b>
<b>ANGLE
</b><b>THE PLANE, IN A VIOLENT RAINSTORM, BUCKING WILDLY.  AMES, ON HIS KNEES,
</b><b>GATHERING UP THE PILLS, REPLACES THEM IN THE VIAL, SHAKES OUT TWO, AND GIVES
</b><b>THEM TO SCHUMANN.  WHO TAKES THEM.  MOSS THEN STRAPS HIMSELF BACK IN AND BREAN
</b><b>CONTINUES TALKING ON THE TELEPHONE.
</b>
<b>THE THREE STRAPPED IN, THE PLANE TOSSING WILDLY.  BREAN ON THE PHONE.
</b>
<b>                          SCHUMANN
</b>            You gonna git me back tomorrow?
<b>                    (PAUSE)
</b>            Cause they havin <u>beans</u> tomorrow...

<b>                          BREAN
</b><b>                    (ON THE PHONE)
</b><b>                    (HE PICKS UP A BOTTLE OF SCOTCH AND
</b><b>                    STARTS DRINKING FROM IT.)
</b>            A slight, a slight, well, no, we're gonna <u>deal</u> with it,
            we just, I need a little readjustment...we need to
            re<u>think</u>...

<b>                          MOSS
</b>            Yes, William, Uh, we have this <u>thing</u> we're doing...

<b>                          SCHUMANN
</b>            Long's you git me back for the beans...

<b>                          MOSS
</b>            ...for the beans, yes...

<b>                          BREAN
</b><b>                    (ON THE PHONE)
</b>            We're gonna, just, may have to call <u>off</u> the...

<b>HE GESTURES AT THE SILENT TELEVISION, WHERE WE SEE THE SIGNS OF THE
</b>SCAFFOLDING, SIGNS READING, "WELCOME HOME <u>OLD SHOE</u>," ET CETERA...
            Well, maybe, you know, ah, ah, he's sicker than we
            thought, and rush him under wraps to Walter Reed to do
            a complete...

<b>                          SCHUMANN
</b><b>                    (TO AMES)
</b>            R'if y'r gonna keep me out, I'd kinda like the chance,
            t'go to church...
<b>                    (HE LEANS TOWARD AMES AND WINKS
</b><b>                    LASCIVIOUSLY, AND NUDGES HIM IN THE
</b><b>                    RIBS)
</b>
<b>                          AMES
</b>            Oh Lord.  What have you <u>done</u> to me?  What have you <u>done</u>
            to me...?

<b>                          BREAN
</b>            Wilfred.

<b>                          AMES
</b>            ...what have you <u>done</u> to me...

<b>                          BREAN
</b>            All Combat takes place at night, in the Rain, and at
            the Junction of four Map Segments...

<b>                          AMES
</b>            ...what are we going to do...?

<b>                          MOSS
</b>            He's fine, as long as he gets his medication.

<b>                          BREAN
</b>            Speaking of that...
<b>                    (HE LOOKS AT THE VIAL)
</b>            We're gonna need a whole lot <u>more</u> of this....

<b>                          AMES
</b>            Well, get on the phone, and <u>get</u> it...

<b>                          MOSS
</b>            You know, I think you people are looking at this All
            Wrong.  If you look at the <u>backstory</u> -- the guy's
            coming back from Combat and Torture.  Of <u>course</u> he is
            gonna be ... uh ... uh ... "fucked up".  Of <u>Course</u> he's
            gonna "need a little help"...
<b>                    (GESTURES PUTTING A HYPODERMIC IN HIS
</b><b>                    ARM)
</b>
<b>                          AMES
</b><b>                    (TO HIMSELF)
</b>            Oh, Lord....

ANGLE, ON THE TV, WHERE WE SEE THE PRESIDENT, WEARING AN <u>OLD SHOE</u> BUTTON.

<b>                          PRESIDENT
</b>            ...a proclamation of a Day of National <u>Rejoining</u>...

<b>THE TELEVISICN GOES ALL FUZZY, THEN CONKS OUT.
</b>            ...a day of <u>Humility</u>, a day of <u>Pride</u>...in the Return
            of...

<b>                          SCHUMANN
</b>            N'ybody gotta Beer...?

<b>THE LIGHTS IN THE PLANE FLICKER, AND THEN COME ON, WE SEE THE LIGHTENING
</b><b>FLASHING OUT OF THE WINDOW, THE CO-PILOT COMES BACK INTO THE CABIN...
</b>
<b>                          BREAN
</b><b>                    (ON THE PHONE)
</b>            Just....do what I ...look:  get me a ...hello...?
            Hel...?  I'm going to need an <u>ambulance</u>, we take him,
            the last moment, right from the Pl...no, <u>we</u> land, we
            puttem <u>in</u> the ambulance.  Air force jet lands, we take
            somebody <u>else</u> off <u>that</u> jet...what the fuck do <u>I</u> care?
            Somebody in a Hospital gown.  And we need a
            ......hello?  Hello...?

<b>THE LINE GOES DEAD.
</b>
<b>                          BREAN
</b>            Cause I don't think <u>this</u> dog is gonna hunt....

<b>                          MOSS
</b>            He's going to be fine, aren't you boy...?

<b>                          BREAN
</b>            Yeah, well, perhaps...
<b>                    (TO PHONE)
</b>            Speaking of which:  I have a <u>prescription</u> here, I'm
            going to give you the <u>number</u>, I need you standing by
            with a <u>crate</u> of the stuff.... it's ... what is it?

<b>                          MOSS
</b>            An anti-psychotic...

<b>                          BREAN
</b><b>                    (TO TELEPHONE)
</b>            It's an anti-psychotic, the num...  the
            number...hello...hello...

<b>BEAT.  THE BUFFETING STOPS.  THE CO-PILOT ENTERS.
</b>
<b>                          CO-PILOT
</b>            We have been experiencing some buffeting, but I think
            from here on out, it's going to be fine.

<b>HE RETURNS TO THE COCKPIT.  BREAN TRIES TO REDIAL THE TELEPHONE.
</b>
<b>                          SCHUMANN
</b>            Long's I git back for my Beans.

<b>                          MOSS
</b>            This is <u>nothing</u>,  Wait'll you've worked with a movie
            star, one time, this is nothing, we keep him shot-up
            and happy -- the Old Days, I used to think I was a
            <u>pharmacist</u>, the kind of stuff I had to do.  One time...

<b>                          SCHUMANN
</b>            Cause the beans, y'know, y'can tell if they're <u>puttin</u>
            stuff in it.

<b>                          BREAN
</b>            Uh huh...

<b>                          SCHUMANN
</b>            So you don't have to <u>fear</u> it.

<b>                          BREAN
</b>            Uh huh...

<b>                          MOSS
</b>            Mmm.

<b>                          BREAN
</b>            What <u>kind</u> of stuff?
<b>                    (TO PHONE)
</b>            Hello...?

<b>                          SCHUMANN
</b><b>                    (PAUSE.  SCHUMANN LOOKS AT THEM WARILY)
</b>            What do you mean, "What kind of stuff?"

<b>                          AMES
</b>            No, no, he didn't mean anything at all...

<b>                          BREAN
</b><b>                    (TO MOSS)
</b>            Give'em another pill...

<b>                          AMES
</b>            No.  No.  He didn't mean anything by it at <u>all</u>...

<b>                          BREAN
</b><b>                    (TO PHONE)
</b>            Hello?   No, operator...

<b>MOSS ADMINISTERS A PILL TO SCHUMANN.
</b>
<b>                          SCHUMANN
</b>            What the fuck did you <u>mean</u>, "What kind of stuff?"?

<b>                          MOSS
</b><b>                    (TO BREAN)
</b>            ...this is nothing.  This is nothing. D'you ever shoot
            in <u>Italy</u>?  Try three Italian starlets on Benzedrine,
            this is a walk in the park...

<b>                          SCHUMANN
</b><b>                    (AS IF COMING TO)
</b>            ...who <u>are</u> you?
<b>                    (PAUSE)
</b>            Who <u>are</u> you sonofabitches...
<b>                    (HE LOOKS AROUND WILDLY)
</b>
<b>                          AMES
</b>            We're just, actually, we're <u>friends</u> of... can we get
            another <u>pill</u> into him...

<b>                          SCHUMANN
</b>            Where are you <u>taking</u> me...?

<b>                          BREAN
</b><b>                    (TO PHONE)
</b>            Hello...?

<b>A HUGE FLASH OF LIGHTENING, THE PLANE IS PLUNGED INTO DARKNESS, THE ENGINES
</b><b>STOP:
</b>
<b>INT THE DARK CABIN.  THE WIND WHISTLING.
</b>
<b>                          AMES
</b><b>                    (SOFTLY)
</b>            Oh, Heck.

<b>DISSOLVE
</b>
<b>EXT A FIELD IN MONTANA.  THE WRECKED CORPORATE JET.
</b>
<b>ANGLE
</b><b>A BEATEN-UP BREAN STRUGGLES FROM THE PLANE, FINISHING A BOTTLE OF SCOTCH, HE
</b><b>FLINGS IT FROM HIM, REACHES IN HIS BACK POCKET, OPENS ANOTHER, AND, AS HE DOES
</b><b>SO, HE SINGS DRUNKENLY.
</b>
<b>                          BREAN
</b>            "Hush little baby, don't say a Word...Pappa's gonna buy
            you a Mockingbird, if that Mocking bird don't sing,
            Poppa's gonna buy you a diamond ring..."

<b>AMES, SIMILARLY BRUISED, STUMBLES FROM THE PLANE BEHIND HIM.
</b>
<b>                          BREAN
</b>            ...kid complains, kid cries, gets more junk, junk don't
            work, kid cries, gets <u>more</u> junk.  End of the song,
            house full of worthless junk, the kid's still crying.
            Story of America...
<b>                    (HE SITS ON THE GROUND AND OPENS THE
</b><b>                    NEW BOTTLE OF SCOTCH.)
</b>            ...Z'at ever bother you...?
<b>                    (HE REACHES BACK INTO THE PLANE, AND
</b><b>                    BRINGS OUT A SMALL TELEVISION SET)
</b>
<b>ANGLE, AS HE LEANS INTO THE PLANE. WE SEE MOSS, LYING IN A HEAP, MOSS COMES
</b><b>TO.
</b>
<b>                          MOSS
</b>            ...what happened...?

<b>                          BREAN
</b>            I think we were experiencing a Little Technical
            Difficulty.

<b>                          MOSS
</b>            How's our friend?

<b>BREAN SETS UP THE TELEVISION.  TURNS IT ON.
</b><b>HE SITS, AND TAKES THE BOTTLE FROM BREAN, AND DRINKS.
</b>
<b>                          MOSS
</b>            ..."Courage.  Mom"...

<b>BREAN HAS KICKED THE TELEVISION INTO LIFE, WE SEE A MAN AND WOMAN ANCHOR,
</b><b>SPEAKING LUGUBRIOUSLY, INTO THE CAMERA.
</b>
<b>                          BREAN
</b>            News.  Like a Wedding Cake.  Tons and tons of sticky
            sugar, Barbie and Ken on top...
<b>                    (HE HITS THE TV)
</b>            Can't ya Talk, you sonofabitches...?

<b>                          MOSS
</b>            What the hell do <u>we</u> care?

<b>                          BREAN
</b>            Eh?  I'm like the Rest of America.  I don't <u>care</u> -- I'm
            just <u>addicted to it</u>...

<b>A PHOTO OF SCHUMANN COMES ON THE TELEVISION.  BREAN STUMBLES BACK INTO THE
</b><b>PLANE, AND HAULS THE DAZED SCHUMANN OUT, AND PROPS HIM AGAINST THE PLANE.
</b>
<b>                          BREAN
</b><b>                    (TO SCHUMANN)
</b>            N'just when everything was going so <u>well</u>...

<b>HE SIGHS.  HE LOOKS AT THE TELEVISION SCREEN.
</b>
<b>ANGLE
</b><b>THE CROWDS AT ANDREW'S AIRKORCE BASE, THE "OLD SHOE" BANNERS, THE "COURAGE,
</b><b>MOM," BANNERS.  THE STILL BAND.  A SHOT OF THE BANDMASTER, SURREPTITIOUSLY,
</b><b>GLANCING AT HIS WATCH.
</b>
<b>                          MOSS
</b>            How's our friend?  What is he, "dead?"

<b>                          BREAN
</b>            Wake up.

<b>                          MOSS
</b>            Is he dead?

<b>                          AMES
</b>            Is he dead?
<b>                    (PAUSE)
</b>            Is he dead?  ARE YOU DEAD?  WAKE <u>UP</u>.  You stupid, nun-
            raping sonofoabitch.... wake <u>up</u>...  WAKE UP.  Do you
            want to spend the rest of your life in JAIL?  WAKE <u>UP</u>!
            Do You Know Who I <u>AM</u>???  I'm <u>talking</u> to you...

<b>SCHUMANN BEGINS TO ROUSE BIMSELF.
</b>
<b>                          SCHUMANN
</b>            Z'it time for Exercise?
<b>                    (PAUSE)
</b>            Cause it's my Day on the Yard.

<b>                          BREAN
</b>            Courage, Mom.

<b>                          AMES
</b>            Oh.  Hell.  And what do we do now?  What do we do <u>now</u>?
            Boy Producer?
<b>                    (PAUSE)
</b>            Mister Win-an-Emmy, Social Conscience, <u>Whaleshit</u>, save-
            the-rainforest, Liberal hire-a-convict <u>shithead</u>?
            Mister Affirmative-Action Peacnik.  Commie...
            <u>shithead</u>....?

<b>                          MOSS
</b><b>                    (PAUSE)
</b>            This is nothing. ...piece of cake.  Y'know, producing
            is being a Samurai Warrior.  They pay you, day in, day
            out, for Years, so that, ONE DAY, when <u>called</u> upon,
            you can respond, your training At Its Peak, and save
            the day.

<b>ANGLE
</b><b>BREAN, SHAKING HIS HEAD.  IN THE B.G., MOSS, DRINKING.
</b><b>THE TV COMES TO LIFE.
</b>
<b>                          COMMENTATOR
</b>            ...long overdue, its absence unexplained.

<b>THE NEXT SHOT IS SENATOR BUD NOLE, SPEAKING EARNESTLY AT THE CAMERA.
</b>
<b>                          NOLE
</b>            ...this...regrettable <u>absence</u>... this ...tardy <u>absence</u>
            of the flight.  Must give us pause.  And, in that pause
            we should take time to examine ourselves, our plans,
            and our <u>future</u>.  There has been an ...<u>interregnum</u> -- if
            you will, of reason, while we've watched unfold this
            drama..... on the world scale...

<b>                          AMES
</b><b>                    (TO HIMSELF)
</b>            ...I hate this cocksucker...

<b>                          NOLE
</b>            And, now, end how it will, this drama is done...

<b>ANGLE MOSS, AS HE WANDERS BACK TO STARE AT THE SCREEN.  THE VAST FIELDS
</b><b>STRETCHING AWAY IN THE DISTANCE
</b>
<b>                          NOLE (C)
</b>            The drama is done, and we must pause to consider.
<b>                    (HE HOLDS UP A PHOTO OF THE PRESIDENT)
</b>            And we must consider this man.  <u>This</u> man...who, you
            will remember, was discovered, scant days ago, in a
            situation which <u>must</u> debar him from Public Office...
<b>                    (HE HOLDS UP A SHOT OF THE PRESIDENT
</b><b>                    AND THE GIRLSCOUTS)
</b>            And I say, <u>when</u> we take time to reflect, there're going
            to be a lot of apartments for rent in Washington,
            Election Day.  Two days from now, Folks...Don't forget
            to vote.

<b>                          MOSS
</b>            No, I didn't think so.

<b>AMES KICKS IN THE THLEVISION.  HE MOVES TO SCHUMANN AND LIFTS HIM TO HIS FEET.
</b>
<b>                          BREAN
</b><b>                    (DRUNKENLY)
</b>            Leav't alone.  Wha'd television ever do to you?  Ate
            your <u>life</u>, ruin'd your <u>Culture</u>, but...

<b>AMES FINISHES DESTROYING THE TV.
</b>
<b>                          AMES
</b>            <u>IT DESTROYED THE ELECTORAL PROCESS</u>.        

<b>HE FINISHES RAGING AT THE TELEVISION SET.  PAUSE.
</b>
<b>                          MOSS
</b>            Come on.

<b>                          AMES
</b>            ...where?

<b>                          MOSS
</b>            Come on.

<b>MOSS MOVES SCHUMANN INTO A STANDING POSITION.
</b>
<b>                          BREAN
</b>            Y'know what else bothers me?  "Shh lil baby, don' saya
            word, papa's gon buy you a mocking bird..."
<b>                    (PAUSE)
</b>            The baby don'say a word, WHAT THE FUCK IS THE
<b>            MOTHERFUCKING MOCKING BIRD GONE SAY?
</b><b>                    (PAUSE)
</b>            You follow me...?

<b>                          MOSS
</b>            Get on your feet, boy.

<b>                          BREAN
</b>            Uh huh...why?

<b>                          MOSS
</b>            We're going home.  We're going home together...

<b>                          BREAN
</b>            We have no home.  We're vagrants.  N'each man's hand's
            against us.  We killed Old Shoe...
<b>                    (HE BEGINS TO WEEP)
</b>            We killed the Schuster...spend our life in a
            packingcrate...Where are you <u>going</u>...?

<b>MOSS STARTS CODDLING SCHUMANN.
</b>
<b>                          MOSS
</b>            Come on, Pal, come on Willie, come on, Old Shoe...

<b>                          SCHUMANN
</b>            Just want to take a nap.

<b>                          MOSS
</b>            He's not dead, Ronnie.  He's just a little
            understandab1y, <u>fatigued</u>.
<b>                    (PAUSE)
</b>            Let's get him to some help...

<b>                          SCHUMANN
</b>            ...gimme some help...

<b>                          MOSS
</b>            That's right, we'll take a nap.  We'll get you to
            Washington, we'll get you Back to your Buddies, and...

<b>                          SCHUMANN
</b>            ...just want to Get Back to the Beans...

<b>MOSS WALKS TO BREAN, AND STARTS KICKING HIM.
</b>
<b>                          MOSS
</b>            Come on, you fucking sissy, you think this is tough?
            Try show-business.  1970-1990, n'ybody I worked with,
            y'could of bottled their piss n'sold it in the
            <u>ghettos</u>...
<b>                    (TO SCHUMANN)
</b>            Come on, Pal...

<b>                          BREAN
</b>            I'm tired.

<b>                          MOSS
</b>            Finish Strong!  Are you <u>nuts</u>?
<b>                    (HE STARTS SHEPHERDING THE TWO ACROSS
</b><b>                    THE VAST WHEATFIELD)
</b>            Are you nuts?  This's Pennies from <u>Heaven</u>... on his
            triumphal return home, Old Shoe, his Plane Forced
            Down...AND YET...

<b>                          BREAN
</b>            He's supposed to be flying in from Europe.

<b>                          MOSS
</b>            We'll deal with that when we come to it.  <u>This</u> is
            producing.  <u>This</u> is what they pay off on...come on,
            Pal, Boots and Saddles...

<b>                          AMES
</b>            ...his Triumphal Plane.  Shot Down.

<b>                          MOSS
</b>            Shot down, Forced down...
<b>                    (HE GESTURES, MEANING, THIS IS A MINOR
</b><b>                    POINT)
</b>            You guys are <u>missing</u> it... You're missing the
            <u>opportunity</u>

<b>THE GROUP TRUDGES OFF.
</b>
<b>                          SCHUMANN
</b>            Isn't it time for my Pill...?

<b>DISSOLVE
</b>
<b>INT VAST COMBINE HARVESTER DAY.  STOPPED IN A WHEATFIELD.
</b>
<b>OUTSIDE, AN ENDLESS WHEATFIELD.
</b><b>INSIDE, BREAN, MOSS, AMES AND SCHUMANN, CRAMMED INTO THE PASSENGER SPACE OF
</b><b>THE HUGE MACHINE.  THE DRIVER WATCHING A SMALL TELEVISION, AS HE DRIVES, THE
</b><b>EARPIECE IN HIS EAR.
</b>
<b>ANGLE, THE TELEVISION, SHOWS THE DESERTED RUNWAY AT THE AIRFORCE BASE.  THE
</b><b>CROWD BREAKING UP.
</b>
<b>ANGLE.  THE THREE IN THE PASSENGER SPACE OF THE COMBINE.
</b>
<b>                          MOSS
</b>            <u>This</u> is producing.  This is, this is, <u>this</u> is the
            Beauty Part.  You've got your fortune right here, and
            you were ready to throw it away.  Because he's got a
            <u>Problem</u>?  F'it was easy, <u>anyone</u> would do it.
<b>                    (PAUSE)
</b>            Otto Preminger.  Had to film a scene, in EXODUS.  The
            proclamation of the State of Israel.  Needed twenty
            thousand extras, n'Jerusalem Park.  Not enough money to
            pay'em.  What did he do?  What did he do?  Printed up
            signs:  Be in a movie, fifteen skekels.  He <u>Charged</u>'em
            -- had to turn'em away.  <u>That's</u> producing.  That's
            producing... n'you know, someday, people're gonna tell
            <u>this</u> story...

<b>                          BREAN
</b>            You can't tell this story.

<b>                          MOSS
</b>            Why not?

<b>                          BREAN
</b>            Some'b'y'll have you killed.

<b>                          MOSS
</b>            Ha ha.  No, no, not <u>now</u>, not <u>now</u>, of course, But
            Someday... when they tell <u>this</u> story...

<b>                          AMES
</b>            You can't tell this story.  He's not kidding you.
<b>                    (PAUSE)
</b>            You can't tell this story.  <u>You</u> knew that.
<b>                    (PAUSE)
</b>            The pay off was, you get to be Ambassador, or...

<b>                          MOSS
</b>            No, no, no...

<b>                          SCHUMANN
</b>            ...isn't it time for my Pill...?

<b>                          BREAN
</b>            And what the fuck story are you gonna tell?  The guy is
            a <u>nutcase</u>.

<b>                          MOSS
</b>            You would be, two, if you'd gone through what he went
            through.

<b>                          BREAN
</b>            He raped a <u>Nun</u>...

<b>                          MOSS
</b>            What he went through in <u>Albania</u>...

<b>                          BREAN
</b>            He's doped to the <u>Gills</u> ...

<b>                          SCHUMANN
</b>            ...where's my l'il <u>pill</u>?

<b>                          MOSS
</b><b>                    (TO BREAN)
</b>            Show some compassion.

<b>                          BREAN
</b>            ... and he spent the last twelve years in a Milit&ry
            Prison...
<b>                    (PAUSE)
</b>
<b>                          AMES
</b>            How do we explain <u>that</u>?

<b>                          MOSS
</b>            ...how do we Explain That?  Hey?  Am I worried...?

<b>                          AMES
</b>            ...how do we explain that?  With the World Watching.

<b>                          MOSS
</b>            <u>Fuck</u> the world.  Try a ten A.M. <u>pitch</u> meeting, no
            sleep, coked-to-the-gills, and you haven't even read
            the <u>material</u>.

<b>                          AMES
</b>            But how do we explain the fact he was in prison?

<b>                          MOSS
</b>            How do we explain that?  Ah, well, you see, Wilfred,
            this is where you've never been at a <u>pitch</u>.  You see?
            His <u>records</u> say he was in prison ... as they must, as
            <u>all</u> the records of Group 303 have the men and the
            women, carried on their roster, as belonging somewhere
            else, the <u>secrecy</u> required of....

<b>ANGLE
</b><b>MOSS STILL TALKING, THE HARVESTER CONTINUING DOWN THE ENDLESS ROWS OF WHEAT,
</b><b>MOVING AWAY FROM THE CAMERA.
</b><b>         
</b><b>DISSOLVE
</b>
<b>EXT TINY OLD FASHIONED OKLAHOMA GAS STATION DAY.
</b>
<b>THE OWNER, BOOTS PROPPED ON THE COUNTER, WATCHING AN OLD BLACK AND WHITE
</b><b>TELEVISION.  IT IS SENATOR NOLE.
</b>
<b>                          NOLE
</b>            Get out and vote, get <u>out</u> and vote, but remember the
            difference, between a Promise, and a <u>deed</u> -- a promise-
            and-a-deed...

<b>HE HALF TURNS HIS HEAD, ACROSS THE HIGHWAY WE SEE THE HARVESTER, WITH MOSS AND
</b><b>BREAN AND SCHUMAN AND AMES.  AMES STAYS BEHIND, TO TALK WITH THE DRIVER OF
</b><b>THE HUGE HARVESTER COMBINE.
</b>
<b>ANGLE
</b><b>ON BREAN AND MOSS, WHO WALK SCHUMANN ACROSS THE HIGHWAY.
</b><b>IN THE B.G. WE SEE AMES TALKING TO THE DRIVER OF THE HARVESTER, WHO IS A
</b><b>SMALL, HISPANIC MAN.
</b>
<b>ANGLE ON THE THREE, AS THEY APPROACH A PAYPHONE OUT BY THE GAS STATION.
</b>
<b>                          MOSS
</b><b>                    (TO BREAN)
</b>            ..."down safely," crew perished in the Crash....

<b>                          BREAN
</b><b>                    (SHAKING HIS HEAD TO CLEAR IT.)
</b>            No, I'm On Top of it...

<b>                          MOSS
</b>            "...unsure whether or not Enemy Action..."

<b>                          BREAN
</b>            No, I'm fine... I got it together....

<b>                          MOSS
</b>            ...but...

<b>THEY STOP BY A TELEPHONE.
</b>
<b>                          BREAN
</b>            You got a dime....?

<b>MOSS HANDS HIM A DIME.
</b><b>BREAN DIALS.
</b>
<b>                          BREAN
</b><b>                    (TO PHONE)
</b>            Hello.
<b>                    (PAUSE)
</b>            Hello.  I'm fine.  We're fine.  We're... stand by to
            copy this, will... just get a pencil.... He is Down
            Safely, though...

<b>ANGLE
</b><b>ON MOSS, AS HE WALKS THE GROGGY SCHUMANN TOWARD THE GAS STATION.
</b>
<b>                          MOSS
</b>            ...how ya feeling, boy?

<b>                          SCHUMANN
</b>            ...mmm.

<b>                          MOSS
</b>            ...'bout ready to Mix it Up...?

<b>                          SCHUMANN
</b>            Is today Laundry Day...?

<b>CAMERA TAKES THEM INTO THE SMALL GAS STATION OFFICE, WHERE WE SEE A WIZENED
</b><b>OLD WESTERNER, LOOKING AT THE TELEVISION WHERE WE SEE SENATOR NOLE.
</b>
<b>                          MOSS
</b>            Hiya.

<b>                          OWNER
</b>            Yup.

<b>                          MOSS
</b>            How 'bout a Cold Drink...?

<b>ANGLE ON THE TELEVISION, SENATOR NOLE.
</b>
<b>                          NOLE
</b>            ...<u>produce</u> this Schumann.
<b>                    (PAUSE)
</b>            <u>Produce</u> him.  I say;  or, and I do not hesitate to say
            it, rank him as Just One More...

<b>THE OWNER GESTURES AT A COLD DRINK COOLER.
</b>
<b>                          NOLE
</b><b>                    (CONT.)
</b>            Just One More of a series of Broken Promises.  Of ...
            <u>Fantasies</u>, yes, Fantasies, which...

<b>MOSS AND SCHUMANN WALK OVER TO THE COOLER.  THEY LOOK OUT THE WINDOW AT
</b><b>BREAN, WHO IS WALKING IN FROM THE PHONE.  HE HANGS UP AND COMES IN.
</b><b>MOSS LOOKS AT HIM, MEANING, "WHAT'S UP?"  BREAN GESTURES AT THE TELEVISION.
</b>
<b>ANGLE, HIS POV.
</b><b>THE TELEVISION, NOW SWITCHED TO THE SCENE OF THE DESERTED TARMAC.
</b>
<b>                          COMMENTATOR (VO)
</b>            Senator Nole, commentating on the unexplained
            absence of...wait a moment...wait a....

<b>THE SCREEN DISSOLVES, TO A SHOT OF THE GREAT SEAL OF THE PRESIDENT OF THE
</b><b>UNITED STATES.
</b>
<b>                          ANNOUNCER (VO)
</b>            Live, from the White House, we bring you...

<b>ANGLE
</b><b>ON BREAN AND MOSS, AS THEY CLUSTER UP TO THE TELEVISION.  IN THE B.G.,
</b><b>SCHUMANN, SITTING ON A STOOL AT THE COUNTER.
</b>
<b>                          PRESS PERSON (VO)
</b>            Ladies and Gentlemen, the President of the United
            States...

<b>ANGLE
</b><b>ON THE THREE, AS THEY WATCH THE TELEVISION.
</b>
<b>                          MOSS
</b>            <u>Okay</u> ... it's time for the <u>Cavalry</u>.
<b>                    (PAUSE)
</b>            Nick of <u>Time</u>.... sonofabitches.... Fuck with <u>me</u>...?

<b>                          PRESIDENT (VO)
</b>            My fellow Americans.
<b>                    (PAUSE)
</b>
<b>ANGLE
</b><b>TIGHT ON SCHUMANN WHO SEES SOMETHING OUT OF THE CORNER OF HIS EYE.
</b>
<b>ANGLE, HIS POV
</b><b>UP A NARROW STAIRCASE, THE FIGURE OF A YOUNG GIRL IN A FLIMSY DRESS, CLIMBING.
</b>
<b>ANGLE
</b><b>SCHUMANN, AS HE LOOKS AWAY, AND MUTTERS TO HIMSELF.
</b>
<b>                          SCHUMANN
</b>            "...where's my pill..."

<b>ANGLE
</b><b>THE GROUP WATCHING TELEVISION.
</b>
<b>                          PRESIDENT
</b>            ...he is down <u>safely</u>, though the flight crew perished
            in the crash.  He will be transhipped, we are informed
            he has sustained <u>minor</u> injuries, which will require his
            being medicated for some time, but, I am assured...

<b>AMES WANDERS IN.
</b>
<b>                          MOSS
</b><b>                    (OF THE T.V.)
</b>            You see, this is what I'm talking about.  Stand It On
            Its Head.  How does it Work for your benefit...

<b>                          AMES
</b>            I'm concerned about the driver of the rig.

<b>                          MOSS
</b>            What rig?

<b>                          AMES
</b>            ...the Harvester...
<b>                    (HE GESTURES OUT AT THE VAST FARM
</b><b>                    MACHINE, WHICH CAN JUST BE SEEN
</b><b>                    STANDING BY THE HIGHWAY.  ITS OWNER
</b><b>                    BESIDE IT.  WAITING.)
</b>
<b>                          BREAN
</b>            What about him?

<b>                          AMES
</b>            Well, he doesn't have his Green Card.
<b>                    (PAUSE)
</b>            He Doesn't have his Greencard.

<b>ANGLE
</b><b>ON SCHUMANN, WHO HAS CONE TO THE BACK OF THE COUNTER, AND IS EMPTYING THE
</b><b>CANNISTERS.
</b>
<b>                          SCHUMANN
</b><b>                    (TO HIMSELF)
</b>            Where's my pill...?

<b>HIS WANDERINGS BRING HIM TO THE END OF THE COUNTER.  WHERE WE SEE, OVER HIS
</b><b>SHOULDER, A YOUNG GIRL, PUTTERING ABOUT IN THE KITCHEN OFF THE GAS STATION
</b><b>OFFICE.
</b>
<b>ANGLE
</b><b>CU.  ON SCHUMANN, LEERING.
</b>
<b>ANGLE ON AMES, ETC.
</b>
<b>                          AMES
</b>            ... you want Schumann saved by an Illegal Alien...?

<b>                          BREAN
</b>            Well, what do you want to do about it?
<b>                    (PAUSE)
</b>            What do you...

<b>                          MOSS
</b>            Pals:
<b>                    (TO BREAN)
</b>            Get on the <u>phone</u>... r'they flying it?

<b>                          BREAN
</b>            They'll be here in ten minutes.

<b>                          MOSS
</b>            Get on the phone, have'em fly in a ...whaddaya need to
            be a citizen?  A Judge?  Whaddaya need?  A Judge...?
            Call in a <u>Judge</u>, call in a Federal <u>Judge</u>, and...
<b>                    (TO AMES, AS IF TO A CHILD)
</b>            If you're concerned about him, being an ..."immigrant."
            Make him a <u>citizen</u>... Eh?  <u>Guys</u> ... what's all this
            <u>mopery</u>, we...

<b>SCHUMANN LOOKS TO THE SIDE.
</b><b>THE YOUNG GIRL HAS DROPPED A SPOON OFF OF THE WORKTABLE AND BENDS OVER TO PICK
</b><b>IT UP, REVEALING HER LEGS AND LITTLE GIRL UNDIES.
</b>
<b>ANGLE
</b><b>ON SCHUMANN, LEERING.
</b>
<b>                          SCHUMANN
</b><b>                    (MUTTERING)
</b>            ...where is my pill?

<b>ANGLE
</b><b>ON THE MEN, IN THE ROOM, ARGUING ABOUT THE ILLEGAL ALIEN, SCHUMANN IN THE B.G.
</b>
<b>                          SCHUMANN
</b>            WHERE'S MY FUCKING <u>PIIIILLLLLLL</u>...?

<b>SCHUMANN RUNS INTO THE KITCHEN, AND WE HEAR THE SOUNDS OF LITTLE GIRL SCREAMS.
</b>
<b>ALL THE MEN IN THE ROOM LOOK AROUND.
</b><b>THE OWNER STANDS, AND LOOKS AROUND.
</b>
<b>                          OWNER
</b>            Susie...?
<b>                    (PAUSE)
</b>            <u>Susie</u>...

<b>HE IS ANSWERED BY WHIMPERING.
</b>
<b>                          MOSS
</b>            Oh, hell...

<b>THE GAS STATION OWNER GOES TO THE DOOR TO THE KITCHEN, AND FINDS IT LOCKED.
</b>
<b>                          OWNER
</b>            Susie?  Susie.  Are you alright...?  <u>Susie</u>...

<b>MOSS STRIDES UP TO THE DOOR.
</b>
<b>                          MOSS
</b>            Lemme talk to him.  Will?  Shoe?

<b>                          OWNER
</b>            SUSIE...?  Are you alright...?

<b>                          MOSS
</b><b>                    (PUSHES HIM ASIDE)
</b>            Lemme talk to him.  Shoe?  Shoe...?  You in there...?

<b>WE ARE ANSWERED BY THE SOUNDS OF WHIMPERING.
</b>
<b>ANGLE
</b><b>ON THE GAS STATION OWNER, WHO HAS RETREATED TO HIS COUNTER AND PRODUCES A
</b><b>SHOTGUN, AND STARTS TO LOAD IT.
</b>
<b>                          MOSS
</b><b>                    (AT THE DOOR)
</b>            Shoe, boy...?  You know, you were telling me you
            wanted Beans?  Remember, you were concerned about the
            Beans...?

<b>THE MAN WITH THE SHOTGUN COMES UP TO THE DOOR.
</b>
<b>                          MOSS
</b><b>                    (TO THE STATION OWNER)
</b>             No, 1emme talk to him... 1emme talk to him, we have a
             relationship...

<b>THE GAS STATION OWNER EXITS THE BUILDING, AND WE SEE HIM, OUTSIDE, KICK IN
</b><b>THE SIDE DOOR TO THE KITCHEN.
</b>
<b>                          MOSS
</b><b>                    (THROUGH THE DOOR, TO SCHUMANN)
</b>             'Member, we were talking about how much you liked the
             "beans" and all...?

<b>WE HEAR THE SOUND OF WHIMPERING, AND THEN TWO SHOTGUN BLASTS.
</b>
<b>WE HEAR MORE LITTLE GIRL SCREAMS, THEN A BLAST, AND THEN ANOTHER SHOTGUN
</b><b>BLAST.
</b><b>BEAT.
</b><b>BREAN AND MOSS ROUSE TBEMSELVES, AND GO TO STAND IN THE DOORWAY, LOOKING INTO
</b><b>THE KITCHEN.  AMES PEEKS OVER THEIR SHOULDERS.
</b>
<b>                          BREAN
</b><b>                    (AFFECTLESS)
</b>             ...<u>now</u> look what's happened...

<b>BREAN WALKS TO THE DRINK COOLER, OPENS A CAN OF DR. PEPPER, AND COMES BACK TO
</b><b>STAND IN THE DOORWAY.
</b>
<b>BEAT.  THE OWNER COMES OUT, HOLDING THE SHOTGUN AND COMFORTING THE DISTRAUGHT
</b><b>LITTLE GIRL.
</b>
<b>IN THE B.G. WE HEAR A JET ROAR, AND WE SEE A CARRIER JET MAKING AN APPROACH
</b><b>ONTO THE HIGHWAY.
</b>
<b>                          AMES
</b>            So-close-and-yet-so-far.

<b>                          MOSS
</b>            Naa, fuck this, this is nothing.  Oh, Lord -- this
            just got <u>Big</u>.  I see it -- <u>Big</u> -- Big for <u>you</u> and big
            for <u>me</u>.

<b>                          AMES
</b>            What are you talking about?

<b>                          MOSS
</b>            You're not <u>thinking</u> right, Pal...

<b>                          AMES
</b>            He's <u>dead</u>.
<b>                    (PAUSE)
</b>            He's <u>dead</u>.
<b>                    (PAUSE)
</b>            The Fella Killed Old Shoe.
<b>                    (PAUSE)
</b>
<b>                          MOSS
</b>            And <u>what</u> is bigger than a triumphal Homecoming...?

<b>INT HANGAR, ANDREWS AIRFORCE BASE, DAY.
</b>
<b>A VAST HANGAR, A SINGLE JET TRANSPORT.
</b>
<b>ANGLE
</b><b>BREAN AND MOSS, DISHEVELLED, UNSHAVEN, LOOKING ON.
</b>
<b>ANGLE, THEIR POV
</b><b>THE RAMP, AT THE BACK OF THE PLANE, A FLAG DRAPED CASKET APPEARS AND CRAWLS
</b><b>DOWN THE RAMP.
</b><b>SIX MILITARY PEOPLE IN FATIGUES ADVANCE TO THE CASKET.
</b>
<b>ANGLE
</b><b>BREAN AND MOSS, THEY SWIVEL THEIR HEADS, AND WE SEE, BEYOND THE DOORS OF THE
</b><b>HANGAR, A VAST CROWD, FLASHBULBS BEGIN POPPING.
</b>
<b>ANGLE ON MOSS, AS HE GLANCES AROUND, AND THEN AT AN AIDE, AS IF TO SAY,
</b><u>WELL</u>...

<b>THE AIDE LOOKS AROUND, AND THEN, WITH RELIEF, AT THE CROWD, AS A SMALL DOG
</b><b>BREAKS AWAY, AND RUNS TOWARD THE CASKET.
</b>
<b>SEVERAL PHOTOGRAPHERS BREAK THROUGH THE CORDON, AND BEGIN SNAPPING PHOTOS OF
</b><b>THE SMALL DOG, AS IT SITS, ITS HEAD COCKED, NEAR THE CASKET.
</b>
<b>BREAN AND MOSS WALK AWAY, CAMERA FOLLOWS THEM TOWARD A SMALL READYROOM OFF THE
</b><b>HANGAR.
</b>
<b>INT, THE READYROOM.  BREAN AND MOSS SINK DOWN INTO AN OLD RATTY LEATHER COUCH,
</b><b>BREAN GETS UP, WALKS TO THE TABLE, ON WHICH IS A PACK OF CIGARETTES.  HE TAKES
</b><b>ONE, LIGHTS IT, PASSES ONE TO BREAN WHO LIGHTS IT.  WALKS TO A MR. COFFEE
</b><b>MACHINE.
</b>
<b>                          BREAN
</b>            ...coffee...?

<b>                          MOSS
</b>            Yes, please.

<b>BEYOND THE COFFEE MACHINE WE SEE AMES, AND THE HISPANIC MAN WHO DROVE THE
</b><b>HARVESTER, STILL WEARING A STRAW COWBOY HAT, ET CETERA, THEY BOTH STAND, AS A
</b><b>MAN IN HIS SIXTIES ENTERS, AND BEGINS EXTRACTING A BLACK ROBE FROM HIS
</b><b>BRIEFCASE, HE PUTS ON THE ROBE.
</b>
<b>BREAN SIGHS.  NODS, AND WALKS HACK TO THE TABLE, WBERE MOSS IS SLUMPED.
</b>
<b>BREAN SNAPS ON A SMALL TELEVISION, ON THE COUNTER, AND WE SEE, IN ITS SCREEN,
</b><b>THE PALLBEARERS PROCEEDING TO A MILITARY TRUCK, AND THE SMALL DOG FOLLOWING,
</b><b>WE SEE A PORTRAIT OF THE DOG, AS IT COCKS ITS HEAD, WE CUT TO A SHOT OF THE
</b><b>PRESIDENT, IN THE HANGAR, DABBING AT HIS EYES WITH A HANDKERCHIEF.
</b>
<b>                          MOSS
</b><b>                    (WATCHING THE SCREEN)
</b>            Good.  Good.  Good.  Looking Good, bring-it-all-back-
            home.  Lassie Barks Twice n'it's time to take out the
            garbage.

<b>                          BREAN
</b>            Hell of a show.  Hell of a job, Stan.

<b>                          MOSS
</b><b>                    (KNOCKS ON WOOD)
</b>            ...one more day.

<b>                          BREAN
</b>            Naw, naw, we own the airways...
<b>                    (HE FLIPS THE CHANNEL)
</b>
<b>WE SEE A COUPLE OF MEDIA NERDS, BEING INTERVIEWED AROUND A CONFERENCE TABLE.
</b>
<b>                          MODERATOR
</b>            ...thrust of the Albanian Episode, to put him over the
            top...

<b>                          FIRST MEDIA GUY
</b>            Yes, you could <u>say</u> that, Joyce, but it wouldn't be
            true.

<b>                          JOYCE
</b>            What would be true, then.

<b>                          SECOND MEDIA GUY
</b>            Well, you  said it yourself, earlier, and if I may
            rephrase, that the success of the President, in the
            Polls...

<b>                          JOYCE
</b>            ...as of today, 89% favorable.

<b>                          SECOND MEDIA GUY
</b>            Eighty-<u>nine</u> percent favorable, is based not on
            <u>events</u>...
<b>         
</b><b>                          BREAN
</b>            ...events.

<b>                          SECOND MEDIA GUY
</b>            Which, of course, we cannoy control....

<b>                          FIRST MEDIA GUY
</b>            ...no...

<b>                          SECOND MEDIA GUY
</b>            But on the spin <u>given</u> to those events.

<b>                          FIRST MEDIA GUY
</b>            ...yes.

<b>                          SECOND MEDIA GUY
</b>            On the meaning <u>found</u> in those events, and given to the
            <u>public</u>...

<b>                          JOYCE
</b>            ...by you?

<b>                          SECOND MEDIA GUY
</b>            By the  media, by, yes, by, in this case, our
            organization.

<b>                          JOYCE
</b>            Well, there's a lot to be said for that.  And I'm
            going to show a clip.
<b>                    (TO THE AUDIENCE)
</b>            You've seen it before, you've seen it <u>many</u> times...
<b>                    (ALL SMILE)
</b>            But I'm going to ask you to look at it once more.  With
            the election one day off, and the President's standing
            in the polls...

<b>                          FIRST MEDIA GUY
</b>            ...89 percent

<b>                          JOYCE
</b>            ...a record, a <u>record</u> high for sitting president, I'd
            like you to watch the campaign that put him there when
            we come back.

<b>THE SCREEN CHANGES TO A COMMERCIAL.
</b>
<b>                          MOSS
</b>            You see?  What's the lesson here?  <u>Never</u> give up.
            <u>Never</u> give up.

<b>                          BREAN
</b>            No.  You're right.

<b>                          MOSS
</b>            Show Must Go On.

<b>                          BREAN
</b>            A proud tradition.

<b>                          MOSS
</b>            Prouder of this, than anything I ever did in my life.
            I want to thank you, Ron.
<b>                    (PAUSE)
</b>            Want to thank you.

<b>THE SCREEN COMES BACK TO THE TALKING HEADS.  WKERE WE SEE THE COMMENTATORS
</b><b>INTERVIEWING THE SUBJECTS.
</b>
<b>                          JOYCE
</b>            And as we said.  The President, a sure-fire winner, and
            the campaign, many said, that <u>put</u> him there...

<b>THE SCREEN CHANGES TO TWO HORSES IN A PADDOCK.  A COUPLE OF JOCKEYS WALK UP TO
</b><b>THEM.
</b>
<b>                          JOCKEY ONE
</b>            Which horse you going to ride tomorrow, Jim?

<b>                          JOCKEY TWO
</b>            Well, Chuck, my Daddy used to say, and I've <u>lived</u> by
            it:  never change Horses in...

<b>                          MOSS
</b><b>                    (TO HIMSELF)
</b>            ...<u>oh</u> no...

<b>THE SCREEN REVERTS TO THE MODERATOR AND THE TWO TYPES.
</b>
<b>                          JOYCE
</b>            And now, we're going to be taking your calls.  The
            number is...

<b>MOSS RISES.
</b><b>MOSS BEGINS PACING AROUND THE READYROOM.
</b>
<b>                          BREAN
</b>            What're you doing?

<b>                          MOSS
</b>            I'm looking for a phone...

<b>                          BREAN
</b>            No, I don't think you can <u>do</u> that.

<b>                          MOSS
</b>            Watch me.

<b>                          BREAN
</b>            No, I don't think you can <u>do</u> that, Stanley...

<b>                          MOSS
</b>            Watch me.

<b>                          BREAN
</b>            Stanley.  Stanley... you knew the... Stanley.
<b>                    (HE RESTRAINS HIM)
</b>            You knew the deal when you signed <u>on</u>.

<b>                          MOSS
</b>            Deal's changed.

<b>                          BREAN
</b>            No, the deal <u>isn't</u> changed.  The Deal <u>isn't</u> changed.
            You can't ... what is it?  Money?  <u>Money</u>?  You want
            Money?

<b>                          MOSS
</b>            <u>Money</u>?  You think I did this for money...?  I did this
            for <u>Credit</u>.  <u>Credit</u>, paalll...

<b>                          BREAN
</b>            But you always knew you couldn't <u>take</u> the credit....

<b>                          MOSS
</b>            That's <u>one</u> thing, but I'm not gonna let two dickheads
            from <u>Filmschool</u> take it... are you <u>Nuts</u>?  Are you <u>Nuts</u>?

<b>HE TRIES TO GET OUT OF THE READYROOM.  BREAN RESTRAINS HIM.
</b>
<b>ANGLE
</b><b>TIGHT ON THE TWO.
</b>
<b>                          BREAN
</b>            Stanley, no fooling... no fooling... you're playing
            with your <u>life</u> here...

<b>                          MOSS
</b>            <u>Fuck</u> my life... <u>Fuck</u> my life.... Z WANT THE <u>CREDIT</u>...
            The <u>Credit</u>.  Do you know what the New York Times said
            about my last picture?  They <u>pissed</u> on me.  They <u>pissed</u>
            on me.  Do you know what that picture <u>Grossed</u>?  And now
            some limp-dick film school <u>pansy</u>...

<b>                          JOYCE
</b><b>                    (ON TV)
</b>            That number to call....

<b>MOSS TAKES OUT A PAD AND PENCIL, AND BEGINS TO WRITE IT DOWN.
</b>
<b>                          BREAN
</b>            Stanley, you can't do this....

<b>AMES CALLS FROM THE FAR ROOM.
</b>
<b>                          AMES
</b>            Could we have you in here, please...7

<b>BREAN, DISTRACTED FOR A MOMENT, LETS MOSS GO, MOSS PULLS AWAY, AND RUNS OUT OF
</b><b>THE ROOM.
</b>
<b>ANGLE
</b><b>ON BREAN, AS HE PROCEEDS TO THE BACK ROOM, WHERE WE SEE AMES, STANDING WITH
</b><b>THE MAN, WHO NOW HAS ON HIS BLACK ROBE, AND HOLDS A BIBLE OUT TO THE HISPANIC
</b><b>FELLOW IN THE STRAW COWBOY HAT.
</b>
<b>                          AMES
</b><b>                    (SOTTO, TO BREAN)
</b>            ...we need a witness.

<b>                          MAN IN THE BLACK ROBE
</b><b>                    (TO THE HISPANIC HARVESTER DRIVER)
</b>            Do you swear to Uphold the duties and responsibilities
            of a citizen of the United States?  To defend her, (ET
<b>            CETERA)
</b>
<b>ANGLE
</b><b>ON THIS ROOM, WITH THE HUGE HANGAR, AND THE CASKET IN THE FAR ROOM.
</b><b>ANGLE, ON BREAN AS HE SHAKES HIS HEAD SADLY.
</b>
<b>DISSOLVE
</b>
<b>EXT PENNSYLVANIA AVENUE.  NOVEMBER DAY.
</b>
<b>VAST CROWDS, LINING THE STREET.  THE SOUND OF SLOW FIFE AND DRUMS.
</b>
<b>ANGLE
</b><b>ON VARIOUS SPECTATORS, WEEPING, MANY OF THEM WITH OLD SHOES HUNG AROUND THEIR
</b><b>NECKS.  303 SWEATSHIRTS.  ET CETERA...  THE SPECTATORS CRANE THEIR NECKS.
</b>
<b>ANGLE, THEIR P0V.
</b><b>A CAISSON, A RIDERLESS HORSE, COMING DOWN THE STREET.
</b><b>PAN ONTO A NEWSCASTER.
</b>
<b>                          NEWSCASTER
</b>            ...coming, yes, yes, I can just...yes, the caisson,
            bearing his remains, the Riderless Horse, led by three
            members of his unit, 303, identified by their
            distinctive Caps...

<b>ANGLE, ON THE 303 TROOPERS, TWO MEN AND A WOMAN IN BERETS WHICH ARE HALF
</b><b>BLACK, HALF LEOPARD SKIN.
</b>
<b>INT SHOESTORE, H.Q.
</b>
<b>THE TELEVISION, SHOWING THE SAME SCENE.  PAN ONTO AIDE, SWEEPING UP.
</b>
<b>                          TV VOICE OVER
</b><b>                    (WE HEAR A SERIES OF GUNSHOTS)
</b>            ...and that's the, yes, you hear it, a salute, in Code,
            5pelling out, "Courage, Mom" ...and there, yes, there
            is the Staff Car, bearing the Pres...

<b>INT MOSS'S KITCHEN, BEVERLY HILLS, DAY
</b>
<b>A SMALL COUNTERTOP TELEVISION.  A HISPANIC MAID WATCHING THE TV.
</b>
<b>                          ANNOUNCER
</b><b>                    (ON TV)
</b>            ...sident Elect -- the President-Elect of the United
            States...

<b>SHE PICKS UP A TRAY OF CRUDITES, AND PROCEEDS, CAMERA FOLLOWS HER INTO THE
</b><b>LIVING ROOM, GIVING ONTO THE POOL, WHERE WE SEE A FLOCK OF MOURNERS, THE MEN
</b><b>IN YALMULKAS.
</b>
<b>ANGLE EXT, MOSS'S HOUSE.
</b><b>A LINE OF LIMOS, ONE OF THE CHAUFFEURS LISTENING TO THE RADIO.
</b>
<b>                          RADIO
</b><b>                    (VO)
</b>            ...the end of the incredible saga of One Man, his
            country, and a War He did Not Wish, but unto which
            he...

<b>A LIMO ARRIVES, BEARING BREAN, WHO IS GIVEN A YALMUKA, AS HE ENTERS MOSS'S
</b><b>HOUSE.
</b>
<b>INT. H.Q. SHOESTORE, DAY.
</b>
<b>THE AIDE HAS JUST FINISHED CLEANING UP.  THE SCENE ON THE TV IS ARLINGTON
</b><b>NATIONAL CEMETERY.  THE PALLBEARERS, MILITARY MEN AND WOMEN, ARE DOING A SLOW
</b><b>MARCH TO THE TUNE OF "GOOD OLD SHOE."  THERE IS A SHOT OF THE PRESIDENT, AS AN
</b><b>AIDE APPROACHES HIM, AND HANDS HIM A BOX, WHICH HE OPENS, WE SEE AS THE CAMERA
</b><b>RACKS FOCUS TO IT, THAT IT IS THE CONGRESSIONAL MEDAL OF HONOR.  THE PRESIDENT
</b><b>PROCEEDS TOWARD THE CASKET, BEARING THE BOX.
</b>
<b>THE TV GOES BLANK, AS THE AIDE FLIPS IT OFF.  HE TAKES THE LAST REMAINING
</b><b>TRASHBIN, AND STARTS TO PULL IT OUTSIDE.
</b>
<b>WE SEE TWO MOVING MEN, TAKING DOWN THE TELEVISION, AND PUTTING IT ON A DOLLY.
</b>
<b>ANGLE, INT, THE MALL
</b>
<b>THE BOARDED UP STOREFRONT.  THE OLD "SHOE WORLD" SIGN, THE AIDE PUTTING OUT
</b><b>THE LAST TRASHBIN.  HE IS OVERTAKEN BY, AND CAMERA DOLLIES WITH, THE TWO MEN
</b><b>MOVING OUT THE TELEVISICN.  THEY PASS A NEW SIGN, WHICH HAS BEEN APPLIED OVER
</b>THE PLYWOOD, READS:  "COMING SOON, <u>GOOD OLD SHOE</u>," FOLLOWED BY A STYLIZED
<b>RENDITION OF A PAIR OF OLD BASKETBALL SHOES, THE TRADEMARK REGISTRATION SIGN,
</b>AND THE NIKE <u>SWOOSH</u>, CAMERA CONTINUES TO DOLLY, PAST GRAFFITI, READING,
<b>COURAGE, MOM.
</b>
<b>           -----------------
</b>

<b>END
</b>
<b>WAG THE DOG
</b>
<b>A SCREENPLAY BY
</b>
<b>DAVID  MAMET
</b>

<b>                                               SECOND DRAFT.  OCTOBER, 1996
</b>   </pre>


</pre><br>
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	<td><h1>Wag the Dog</h1><br><br>
	    <b>Writers</b> : &nbsp;&nbsp;<a href="/writer.php?w=David Mamet" title="Scripts by David Mamet">David Mamet</a><br>
    	<b>Genres</b> : &nbsp;&nbsp;<a href="/genre/Comedy" title="Comedy Scripts">Comedy</a><br><br><br>
		
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How does the CIA decide to deal with the situation? 
How does the CIA decide to deal with the situation ?
Announce that the war has ended and allow Motss to continue working the story.
Announce that the war has ended and allow Motss to continue working the story .
The CIA decides to announce the war is over.
The CIA decides to announce the war is over .