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 Cameron James, a new student at Padua High School in the Seattle area, becomes instantly smitten with popular sophomore Bianca Stratford. Geeky Michael Eckman warns him that Bianca is vapid and conceited, and that her overprotective father does not allow Bianca or her older sister, the shrewish Kat, to date. Kat, a senior, is accepted to Sarah Lawrence College in New York, but her father, Walter, wants her to stay close to home. Bianca wishes to date affluent senior Joey Donner, but Walter, an obstetrician worrisome of teenage pregnancy, will not allow his daughters to date until they graduate. Frustrated by Bianca's insistence and Kat's rebelliousness, Walter declares that Bianca may date only when Kat does, knowing that Kat's antisocial attitude makes this unlikely.
When Cameron asks Bianca out, she informs him of her father's new rule and, as a pretense for allowing her to date Joey, suggests that Cameron find someone willing to date Kat. Cameron selects "bad boy" Patrick Verona, but Patrick scares him off. Michael assists by convincing Joey to pay Patrick to take out Kat, under the pretense that this will allow Joey to date Bianca. Patrick agrees to the deal, but Kat rebuffs his first few advances. Michael and Cameron help him by prying Bianca for information on Kat's likes and dislikes. Armed with this knowledge, Patrick begins to win Kat's interest. She goes to a party with him, which enables Bianca to go as well, much to Walter's dismay.
At the party, Kat becomes upset when she sees Bianca with Joey, and responds by getting drunk. Patrick attends to her, and Kat starts to open up, expressing her interest in starting a band. However, when she tries to kiss him, Patrick pulls away and Kat leaves, infuriated. Meanwhile, Bianca ignores Cameron in favor of Joey, leaving Cameron dejected. Bianca soon realizes, however, that Joey is shallow and self-absorbed, and asks Cameron for a ride home. Cameron admits his feelings for her and his frustration with how she has treated him. Bianca responds by kissing him.
Joey offers to pay Patrick to take Kat to the prom so he can take Bianca. Patrick initially refuses, but relents when Joey offers him more money. Kat is still angry with Patrick, but he wins her over by serenading her with the accompaniment of the marching band, and she helps him sneak out of detention. They go on a date which turns romantic, but Kat becomes suspicious and angry when Patrick insists that she go with him to the prom, an event she is adamantly against. Bianca is irritated that Cameron hasn't asked her to the prom, and so accepts Joey's invitation, but Walter won't allow it unless Kat goes too. Kat confesses to Bianca that she dated Joey when they were freshmen and, succumbing to peer pressure, had sex with him. Afterward she regretted it and Joey dumped her, so she vowed to never again do anything just because everyone else was doing it. Bianca insists that she can make her own choices, so Kat agrees to go to the prom with Patrick, and Bianca decides to go with Cameron instead of Joey.
All is going well at the prom until Bianca learns that Joey planned to have sex with her that night. Angry that Bianca has spurned him for Cameron, Joey reveals his arrangement with Patrick, which causes Kat to leave heartbroken. Joey then punches Cameron, but is in turn beaten up by Bianca for having hurt her, Kat, and Cameron. Bianca and Cameron share another kiss.
The next day, Bianca reconciles with Kat and begins dating Cameron. Walter admits that Kat is capable of taking care of herself, and gives her permission to attend Sarah Lawrence College. For an assignment in which the students were required to write their own version of William Shakespeare's Sonnet 141, Kat reads aloud a poem titled "10 Things I Hate About You", revealing that she still loves Patrick. Patrick surprises her with a guitar bought with the money that Joey paid him, and confesses that he has fallen for her. Kat forgives him, and the two reconcile with a kiss.
Cameron James , a new student at Padua High School in the Seattle area , becomes instantly smitten with popular sophomore Bianca Stratford . Geeky Michael Eckman warns him that Bianca is vapid and conceited , and that her overprotective father does not allow Bianca or her older sister , the shrewish Kat , to date . Kat , a senior , is accepted to Sarah Lawrence College in New York , but her father , Walter , wants her to stay close to home . Bianca wishes to date affluent senior Joey Donner , but Walter , an obstetrician worrisome of teenage pregnancy , will not allow his daughters to date until they graduate . Frustrated by Bianca s insistence and Kat s rebelliousness , Walter declares that Bianca may date only when Kat does , knowing that Kat s antisocial attitude makes this unlikely . When Cameron asks Bianca out , she informs him of her father s new rule and , as a pretense for allowing her to date Joey , suggests that Cameron find someone willing to date Kat . Cameron selects bad boy Patrick Verona , but Patrick scares him off . Michael assists by convincing Joey to pay Patrick to take out Kat , under the pretense that this will allow Joey to date Bianca . Patrick agrees to the deal , but Kat rebuffs his first few advances . Michael and Cameron help him by prying Bianca for information on Kat s likes and dislikes . Armed with this knowledge , Patrick begins to win Kat s interest . She goes to a party with him , which enables Bianca to go as well , much to Walter s dismay . At the party , Kat becomes upset when she sees Bianca with Joey , and responds by getting drunk . Patrick attends to her , and Kat starts to open up , expressing her interest in starting a band . However , when she tries to kiss him , Patrick pulls away and Kat leaves , infuriated . Meanwhile , Bianca ignores Cameron in favor of Joey , leaving Cameron dejected . Bianca soon realizes , however , that Joey is shallow and self-absorbed , and asks Cameron for a ride home . Cameron admits his feelings for her and his frustration with how she has treated him . Bianca responds by kissing him . Joey offers to pay Patrick to take Kat to the prom so he can take Bianca . Patrick initially refuses , but relents when Joey offers him more money . Kat is still angry with Patrick , but he wins her over by serenading her with the accompaniment of the marching band , and she helps him sneak out of detention . They go on a date which turns romantic , but Kat becomes suspicious and angry when Patrick insists that she go with him to the prom , an event she is adamantly against . Bianca is irritated that Cameron has n't asked her to the prom , and so accepts Joey s invitation , but Walter wo n't allow it unless Kat goes too . Kat confesses to Bianca that she dated Joey when they were freshmen and , succumbing to peer pressure , had sex with him . Afterward she regretted it and Joey dumped her , so she vowed to never again do anything just because everyone else was doing it . Bianca insists that she can make her own choices , so Kat agrees to go to the prom with Patrick , and Bianca decides to go with Cameron instead of Joey . All is going well at the prom until Bianca learns that Joey planned to have sex with her that night . Angry that Bianca has spurned him for Cameron , Joey reveals his arrangement with Patrick , which causes Kat to leave heartbroken . Joey then punches Cameron , but is in turn beaten up by Bianca for having hurt her , Kat , and Cameron . Bianca and Cameron share another kiss . The next day , Bianca reconciles with Kat and begins dating Cameron . Walter admits that Kat is capable of taking care of herself , and gives her permission to attend Sarah Lawrence College . For an assignment in which the students were required to write their own version of William Shakespeare s Sonnet 141 , Kat reads aloud a poem titled 10 Things I Hate About You , revealing that she still loves Patrick . Patrick surprises her with a guitar bought with the money that Joey paid him , and confesses that he has fallen for her . Kat forgives him , and the two reconcile with a kiss .
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10 Things I Hate About You
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<title>Ten Things I Hate About You - by Karen McCullah Lutz & Kirsten Smith</title>
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<pre>
<b>                               TEN THINGS I HATE ABOUT YOU
</b><b>          
</b>                written by Karen McCullah Lutz & Kirsten Smith
<b>          
</b>              based on 'Taming of the Shrew" by William Shakespeare
<b>          
</b>          Revision November 12, 1997
<b>          
</b><b>          
</b><b>          PADUA HIGH SCHOOL - DAY
</b><b>          
</b>          Welcome to Padua High School,, your typical urban-suburban 
          high school in Portland, Oregon.  Smarties, Skids, Preppies, 
          Granolas. Loners, Lovers, the In and the Out Crowd rub sleep 
          out of their eyes and head for the main building.
<b>          
</b><b>          PADUA HIGH PARKING LOT - DAY
</b><b>          
</b>          KAT STRATFORD, eighteen, pretty -- but trying hard not to be 
          -- in a baggy granny dress and glasses, balances a cup of 
          coffee and a backpack as she climbs out of her battered, 
          baby blue '75 Dodge Dart.
<b>          
</b>          A stray SKATEBOARD clips her, causing her to stumble and 
          spill her coffee, as well as the contents of her backpack.
<b>          
</b>          The young RIDER dashes over to help, trembling when he sees 
          who his board has hit.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 RIDER
</b>                    Hey -- sorry.
<b>          
</b>          Cowering in fear, he attempts to scoop up her scattered 
          belongings.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT
</b>                    Leave it 
<b>          
</b>          He persists.
<b>          
</b>                                 KAT (continuing)
                    I said, leave it!
<b>          
</b>          She grabs his skateboard and uses it to SHOVE him against a 
          car, skateboard tip to his throat.  He whimpers pitifully 
          and she lets him go.  A path clears for her as she marches 
          through a pack of fearful students and SLAMS open the door, 
          entering school.
<b>          
</b><b>          INT. GIRLS' ROOM - DAY
</b><b>          
</b>          BIANCA STRATFORD, a beautiful sophomore, stands facing the 
          mirror, applying lipstick.  Her less extraordinary, but 
          still cute friend, CHASTITY stands next to her.  
<b>          
</b><b>                                 BIANCA
</b>                    Did you change your hair?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 CHASTITY 
</b>                    No.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 BIANCA
</b>                    You might wanna think about it
<b>          
</b>          Leave the girls' room and enter the hallway.
<b>          
</b><b>          HALLWAY - DAY- CONTINUOUS
</b><b>          
</b>          Bianca is immediately greeted by an admiring crowd, both 
          boys
          and girls alike.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 BOY
</b>                           (adoring)
                    Hey, Bianca.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 GIRL
</b>                    Awesome shoes.
<b>          
</b>          The greetings continue as Chastity remains wordless and 
          unaddressed by her side.  Bianca smiles proudly, 
          acknowledging her fans.
<b>          
</b><b>          GUIDANCE COUNSELOR'S OFFICE - DAY
</b><b>          
</b>          CAMERON JAMES, a clean-cut, easy-going senior with an open, 
          farm-boy face, sits facing Miss Perky, an impossibly cheery 
          guidance counselor.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 MISS PERKY
</b>                    I'm sure you won't find Padua any 
                    different than your old school.  Same 
                    little asswipe mother-fuckers 
                    everywhere.
<b>          
</b>          Her plastic smile never leaves her face.  Cameron fidgets in 
          his chair uncomfortably.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 MISS PERKY
</b>                           (continuing)
                    Any questions?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 CAMERON
</b>                    I don't think so, ma'am
<b>          
</b><b>                                 MISS PERKY
</b>                    Then go forth.  Scoot   I've got 
                    deviants to see.
<b>          
</b>          Cameron rises to leave and makes eye contact with PATRICK 
          VERONA, a sullen-looking bad ass senior who waits outside Ms 
          Perky's door.  His slouch and smirk let us know how cool he 
          is.
<b>          
</b>          Miss Perky looks down at her file and up at Patrick
<b>          
</b><b>                                 MISS PERKY
</b>                           (continuing)
                    Patrick Verona.  I see we're making our 
                    visits a weekly ritual.
<b>          
</b>          She gives him a withering glance. He answers with a charming 
          smile.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 PATRICK
</b>                    I missed you.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 MISS PERKY
</b>                    It says here you exposed yourself to a 
                    group of freshmen girls.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 PATRICK
</b>                    It was a bratwurst.  I was eating 
                    lunch.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 MISS PERKY
</b>                    With the teeth of your zipper?
<b>          
</b>          She motions for Patrick to enter her office and Cameron 
          shuffles out the door, bumping into MICHAEL ECKMAN, a lanky, 
          brainy senior who will either end up a politician or game 
          show host.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 MICHAEL
</b>                    You the new guy?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 CAMERON
</b>                    So they tell me...
<b>          
</b><b>                                 MICHAEL
</b>                    C'mon.  I'm supposed to give you the 
                    tour.
<b>          
</b>          They head out of the office
<b>          
</b><b>                                 MICHAEL
</b>                           (continuing)
                    So -- which Dakota you from?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 CAMERON
</b>                    North, actually.  How'd you   ?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 MICHAEL
</b>                    I was kidding. People actually live 
                    there?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 CAMERON
</b>                    Yeah.  A couple.  We're outnumbered by 
                    the cows, though.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 MICHAEL
</b>                    How many people were in your old 
                    school?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 CAMERON
</b>                    Thirty-two.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 MICHAEL
</b>                    Get out!
<b>          
</b><b>                                 CAMERON
</b>                    How many people go here?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 MICHAEL
</b>                    Couple thousand. Most of them evil
<b>          
</b><b>          INT. HALLWAY - DAY- CONTINUOUS
</b><b>          
</b>          Prom posters adorn the wall. Michael steers Cameron through 
          the crowd as he points to various cliques.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 MICHAEL
</b>                    We've got your basic beautiful people. 
                    Unless they talk to you first, don't 
                    bother.
<b>          
</b>          The beautiful people pass, in full jock/cheerleader 
          splendor.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 MICHAEL
</b>                           (continuing)
                    Those 're your cowboys.
<b>          
</b>          Several Stetson-wearing, big belt buckle. Wrangler guys  
          walk by.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 CAMERON
</b>                    That I'm used to.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 MICHAEL
</b>                    Yeah, but these guys have never seen a 
                    horse.  They just jack off to Clint 
                    Eastwood.
<b>          
</b>          They pass an espresso cart with a group of teens huddled 
          around it.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 MICHAEL
</b>                           (continuing)
                    To the right, we have the Coffee Kids.  
                    Very edgy.  Don't make any sudden 
                    movements around them.
<b>          
</b><b>          EXT. SCHOOL COURTYARD - DAY
</b><b>          
</b>          Michael continues the tour
<b>          
</b><b>                                 MICHAEL
</b>                    And these delusionals are the White 
                    Rastae.
<b>          
</b>          Several white boys in dreadlocks and Jamaican knit berets 
          lounge on the grass.  A cloud of pot smoke hovers above them
<b>          
</b><b>                                 MICHAEL
</b>                           (continuing)
                    Big Marley fans.  Think they're black.  
                    Semi-political, but mostly, they watch a 
                    lot of Wild Kingdom, if you know what I 
                    mean.
<b>          
</b>          Michael waves to DEREK, the one with the longest dreads.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 MICHAEL
</b>                           (continuing)
                    Derek - save some for after lunch, bub?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 DEREK
</b>                           (very stoned)
                    Michael, my brother, peace
<b>          
</b>          Cameron turns to follow Michael as they walk into the 
          cafeteria.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 CAMERON
</b>                    So where do you fit in all this?
<b>          
</b><b>          INT.  CAFETERIA - DAY - CONTINUOUS
</b><b>          
</b>          Loud music and loud students.  Michael sits with a group of 
          studious-looking teens.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 MICHAEL
</b>                    Future MBAs-  We're all Ivy League, 
                    already accepted.  Someday I'll be 
                    sipping Merlot while those guys --
<b>          
</b>          He points to the table of jocks, as they torture various 
          passers-by.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 MICHAEL
</b>                           (continuing)
                    are fixing my Saab.  Yuppie greed is 
                    back, my friend.
<b>          
</b>          He points proudly to the ALLIGATOR on his shirt.
<b>          
</b>          Cameron stops listening as BIANCA walks by, and we go SLO 
          MO.  Pure and perfect, she passes Cameron and Michael 
          without a look.
<b>          
</b>          Cameron is smitten
<b>          
</b><b>                                 CAMERON
</b>                    That girl -- I --
<b>          
</b><b>                                 MICHAEL
</b>                    You burn, you pine, you perish?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 CAMERON
</b>                    Who is she?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 MICHAEL
</b>                    Bianca Stratford.  Sophomore. Don't 
                    even think about it
<b>          
</b><b>                                 CAMERON
</b>                    Why not?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 MICHAEL
</b>                    I could start with your haircut, but it 
                    doesn't matter.  She's not allowed to 
                    date until her older sister does.  And 
                    that's an impossibility.
<b>          
</b><b>          ENGLISH CLASS - DAY
</b><b>          
</b>          A room full of bored seniors doodle and scare off into space 
          MS. BLAISE, the one-step-away-from-medication English 
          Teacher, tries to remember what she's talking about.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 MRS. BLAISE
</b>                    Well, then.  Oh, yes.  I guess that 
                    does it for our analysis of The Old Man 
                    and the Sea.  Any other comments?
                           (with dread)
                    Kat?
<b>          
</b>          Kat, the girl we saw as we entered the school, slowly cakes 
          off her glasses and speaks up.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT
</b>                    Why didn't we just read the Hardy Boys?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 MRS. BLAISE
</b>                    I'm sorry?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT
</b>                    This book is about a guy and his 
                    fishing habit.  Not exactly a crucial 
                    topic.
<b>          
</b>          The other students roll their eyes.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT
</b>                           (continuing)
                    Frankly, I'm baffled as to why we still 
                    revere Hemingway.  He was an abusive, 
                    alcoholic misogynist who had a lot of 
                    cats.
<b>          
</b>          JOEY DORSEY, a well-muscled jock with great cheekbones, 
          makes fun of her from his row.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 JOEY
</b>                    As opposed to a bitter self-righteous 
                    hag who has no friends?
<b>          
</b>          A few giggles.  Kat ignores him.  A practiced gesture
<b>          
</b><b>                                 MRS. BLAISE
</b>                    That's enough, Mr. Dorsey.
<b>          
</b>          Really gets fired up now
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT
</b>                    I guess the school board thinks because 
                    Hemingway's male and an asshole, he's 
                    worthy of our time
<b>          
</b>          She looks up at Ms. Blaise, who is now fighting with her 
          pill box.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT
</b>                           (continuing)
                    What about Colette?  Charlotte Bronte?  
                    Simone de Beauvoir?
<b>          
</b>          Patrick, lounging in his seat in the back row, elbows a 
          crusty-looking crony, identified by the name SCURVY, 
          embroidered on his workshirt.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 PATRICK
</b>                    Mother Goose?
<b>          
</b>          The class titters.  Kat wears an expression of intolerance
<b>          
</b><b>          INT. GUIDANCE COUNSELOR'S OFFICE - DAY
</b><b>          
</b>          Kat now sits before Miss Perky.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 MISS PERKY
</b>                    Katarina Stratford.  My, my.  You've 
                    been terrorizing Ms. Blaise again.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT
</b>                    Expressing my opinion is not a 
                    terrorist action.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 MISS PERKY
</b>                    Well, yes, compared to your other 
                    choices of expression this year, today's 
                    events are quite mild.  By the way, 
                    Bobby Rictor's gonad retrieval operation 
                    went quite well, in case you're 
                    interested.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT
</b>                    I still maintain that he kicked himself 
                    in the balls.  I was merely a spectator.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 MISS PERKY
</b>                    The point is Kat -- people perceive you 
                    as somewhat ...
<b>          
</b>          Kat smiles at her, daring her to say it.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT
</b>                    Tempestuous?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 MISS PERKY
</b>                    No ... I believe "heinous bitch" is the 
                    term used most often.
<b>          
</b>          She grimaces, as if she's referring to a medical condition.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 MISS PERKY
</b>                           (continuing)
                    You might want to work on that
<b>          
</b>          Kat rises from her chair with a plastic smile matching the 
          counselor's.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT
</b>                    As always, thank you for your excellent 
                    guidance.
<b>          
</b><b>          INT. SOPHOMORE ENGLISH CLASS - DAY
</b><b>          
</b>          Bianca ignores the droning teacher as she writes a note in 
          big flowing handwriting.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 TEACHER (0.S.)
</b>                    I realize the language of Mr. 
                    Shakespeare makes him a bit daunting, 
                    but I'm sure you're all doing your best.
<b>          
</b>          Bianca folds the note and passes it behind her with a flip 
          of her hair to CHASTITY.  Chastity opens the note and reads:
<b>          
</b><b>          INSERT - "JOEY DORSEY SAID HI TO ME IN THE HALL! OH! MY  
</b><b>          GOD!"
</b><b>          
</b>          Chastity frowns to herself.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 TEACHER (0.S.)
</b>                           (continuing)
                    Ms. Stratford, do you care to comment 
                    on what you've read so far?
<b>          
</b>          Bianca looks up and smiles the smile of Daddy's little girl.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 BIANCA
</b>                    Not really.
<b>          
</b>          The teacher shakes her head, but lets it go.
<b>          
</b>          MANDELLA. a waif-like senior girl who sits off to the side 
          trying to slit her wrist with the plastic spiral on her 
          notebook, looks up and raises her hand.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 TEACHER
</b>                    Mandella -- since you're assisting us, 
                    you might as well comment.  I'm assuming 
                    you read the assignment.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 MANDELLA
</b>                    Uh, yeah, I read it all
<b>          
</b><b>                                 TEACHER
</b>                    The whole play^
<b>          
</b><b>                                 MANDELIA
</b>                    The whole folio.  All the plays.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 TEACHER
</b>                           (disbelieving)
                    You've read every play by William 
                    Shakespeare?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 MANDELLA
</b>                    Haven't you?
<b>          
</b>          She raises a challenging eyebrow.  The stunned teacher 
          doesn't answer and goes to call on the next student.
<b>          
</b><b>          EXT. SCHOOL COURTYARD - DAY
</b><b>          
</b>          Mandella and Kat sit down in the quiet corner. They are 
          eating a carton of yogurt with gusto.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 MANDELLA
</b><b>          
</b>          Your sister is so amazingly without.  She'll never read him.  
          She has no idea.
<b>          
</b>          Kat attacks
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT
</b>                    The fact that you're cutting gym so you 
                    can T.A. Sophomore English just to hear 
                    his name, is a little without in itself 
                    if you ask me.
<b>          
</b>          Kat's attention is caught by Patrick as he walks by with his 
          friends, lighting up a cigarette.  Mandella notices her 
          staring.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 MANDELLA
</b>                    Who's that?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT
</b>                    Patrick Verona   Random skid.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 MANDELLA
</b>                    That's Pat Verona? The one who was gone 
                    for a year? I heard he was doing porn 
                    movies.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT
</b>                    I'm sure he's completely incapable of 
                    doing anything that interesting.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 MANDELLA
</b>                    He always look so
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT
</b>                    Block E?
<b>          
</b>          Kat turns back to face Mandella and forces her yogurt into 
          Mandella's hand.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT
</b>                           (continuing)
                    Mandella, eat.  Starving yourself is a 
                    very slow way to die.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 MANDELLA
</b>                    Just a little.
<b>          
</b>          She eats.  Kat sees her wrist
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT
</b>                    What's this?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 MANDELLA
</b>                    An attempted slit.
<b>          
</b>          Kat stares at her, expressionless.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT
</b>                    I realize that the men of this fine 
                    institution are severely lacking, but 
                    killing yourself so you can be with 
                    William Shakespeare is beyond the scope 
                    of normal teenage obsessions.  You're 
                    venturing far past daytime talk show 
                    fodder and entering the world of those 
                    who need very expensive therapy.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 MANDELLA
</b>                    But imagine the things he'd say during 
                    sex.
<b>          
</b>          Thinks a minute
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT
</b>                    Okay, say you do it.  You kill 
                    yourself, you end up in wherever you end 
                    up and he's there.  Do you really think 
                    he's gonna wanna dace a ninety pound 
                    compulsive who failed volleyball?
<b>          
</b>          Mandella's attention is struck by Bianca
<b>          
</b><b>          ACROSS THE COURTYARD
</b><b>          
</b>          As she and Chastity parade by Joey and his COHORTS   One of 
          the cohorts elbows Joey.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 COHORT
</b>                    Virgin alert.
<b>          
</b>          Joey looks up and smiles at Bianca.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 JOEY
</b>                    Lookin' good, ladies.
<b>          
</b>          Bianca smiles her coyest of smiles.
<b>          
</b>          BACK TO KAT AND MANDELLA Still watching.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 MANDELLA
</b>                    Tragic.
<b>          
</b>          Doesn't respond
<b>          
</b><b>          ANOTHER ANGLE
</b><b>          
</b>          Michael and Cameron observe Joey's leers at Bianca from 
          their bench in another corner. Cowboys eating cue of a can 
          of beans linger on the grass behind them.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 CAMERON
</b>                    Why do girls like that always like guys 
                    like that?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 MICHAEL
</b>                    Because they're bred to.  Their mothers 
                    liked guys like that, and their 
                    grandmothers before them. Their gene 
                    pool is rarely diluted.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 CAMERON
</b>                    He always have that shit-eating grin?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 MICHAEL
</b>                    Joey Dorsey?  Perma-shit-grin.  I wish 
                    I could say he's a moron, but he's 
                    number twelve in the class.  And a 
                    model.  Mostly regional stuff, but he's 
                    rumored to have a big tube sock ad 
                    coming out.
<b>          
</b>          The BELL rings, and the cowboys stand and spit into their 
          empty bean cans.   Cameron and Michael rise as Cameron tries 
          to catch a glimpse of Bianca as she walks back inside.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 MICHAEL
</b>                           (continuing)
                    You know French?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 CAMERON
</b>                    Sure do ... my Mom's from Canada
<b>          
</b><b>                                 MICHAEL
</b>                    Guess who just signed up for a tutor?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 CAMERON
</b>                    You mean I'd get a chance to talk to 
                    her?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 MICHAEL
</b>                    You could consecrate with her, my 
                    friend.
<b>          
</b>          Cameron watches as Bianca flounces back into the building.
<b>          
</b><b>          EXT. SCHOOL PARKING LOT - DAY
</b><b>          
</b>          Kat and Mandella walk toward Kat's car.  Joey pulls up 
          beside her in his Viper.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 JOEY
</b>                           (re her dress)
                    The vintage look is over, Kat. Haven't 
                    you been reading your Sassy?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT
</b>                    Yeah, and I noticed the only part of 
                    you featured in your big Kmart spread 
                    was your elbow.  Tough break.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 JOEY
</b>                           (practically 
                           spitting)
                    They're running the rest of me next 
                    month.
<b>          
</b>          He zooms away as Kat yanks open the door of her Dart.  
          Mandella ties a silk scarf around her head, as if they're in 
          a convertible.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT
</b>                    The people at this school are so 
                    incredibly foul.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 MANDELLA
</b>                    You could always go with me.  I'm sure 
                    William has some friends.
<b>          
</b>          They watch Joey's car as he slows next to Bianca and 
          Chastity as they walk toward the school bus.
<b>          
</b><b>          ON BIANCA AND CHASTITY
</b><b>          
</b><b>                                 JOEY
</b>                    Need a ride, ladies?
<b>          
</b>          Bianca and Chastity can't get in Joey's car fast enough.  He 
          pulls away with a smile.
<b>          
</b><b>          BACK TO KAT AND MANDELLA
</b><b>          
</b>          Mandella lowers her sunglasses to watch.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 MANDELLA
</b>                    That's a charming new development
<b>          
</b>          Kat doesn't answer, but reaches over and puts a tape in the 
          tape deck.  The sounds of JOYFUL PUNK ROCK fill the car.
<b>          
</b>          As they pull out, Michael crosses in front of them on his 
          moped. Kat has to SLAM the brakes to keep from hitting him
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT
</b>                           (yelling)
                    Remove head from sphincter!  Then 
                    pedal!
<b>          
</b>          Michael begins fearfully, pedaling as Kat PEELS out, angry 
          at the delay.
<b>          
</b>          Cameron rushes over
<b>          
</b><b>                                 CAMERON
</b>                    You all right?
<b>          
</b>          He slows to a stop
<b>          
</b><b>                                 MICHAEL
</b>                    Yeah, just a minor encounter with the 
                    shrew.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 CAMERON
</b>                    That's her?  Bianca's sister?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 MICHAEL
</b>                    The mewling, rampalian wretch herself.
<b>          
</b>          Michael putters off, leaving Cameron dodging Patrick's 
          grimy, grey Jeep -- a vehicle several years and many paint 
          jobs away from its former glory as a REGULATION MAIL TRUCK -
          - as he sideswipes several cars on his way out of the lot.
<b>          
</b><b>          INT.  STRATFORD HOUSE - DAY
</b><b>          
</b>          SHARON STRATFORD, attractive and focused, sits in front of 
          her computer, typing quickly.   A shelf next to her holds 
          several bodice-ripper romance novels, bearing her name. 
<b>          
</b>          Kat stands behind her, reading over her shoulder as she 
          types.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT
</b>                    "Undulating with desire, Adrienne 
                    removes her crimson cape, revealing her 
                    creamy --"
<b>          
</b>          WALTER STRATFORD, a blustery, mad scientist-type 
          obstetrician, enters through the front door, wearing a 
          doctor's white jacket and carrying his black bag.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 WALTER
</b><b>          
</b>          I hope dinner's ready because I only have ten minutes before 
          Mrs. Johnson squirts out a screamer.
<b>          
</b>          He grabs the mail and rifles through it, as he bends down to 
          kiss Sharon on the cheek.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 SHARON
</b>                    In the microwave.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 WALTER
</b>                           (to Kat)
                    Make anyone cry today?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT
</b>                    Sadly, no.  But it's only four-thirty.
<b>          
</b>          Bianca walks in.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT
</b>                           (continuing)
                    Where've you been?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 BIANCA
</b>                           (eyeing Walter)
                    Nowhere... Hi, Daddy.
<b>          
</b>          She kisses him on the cheek
<b>          
</b><b>                                 WALTER
</b>                    Hello, precious.
<b>          
</b>          Walter kisses Bianca back as Kat heads up the stairs
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT
</b>                    How touching.
<b>          
</b>          Walter holds up a letter to Kat
<b>          
</b><b>                                 WALTER
</b>                    What's this?  It says Sarah Lawrence?
<b>          
</b>          Snatches it away from him.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT
</b>                    I guess I got in
<b>          
</b>          Sharon looks up from her computer.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 SHARON
</b>                    What's a synonym for throbbing?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 WALTER
</b>                    Sarah Lawrence is on the other side of 
                    the country.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT
</b>                    I know.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 WALTER
</b>                    I thought we decided you were going to 
                    school here.  At U of 0.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT
</b>                    You decided.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 BIANCA
</b>                    Is there even a question that we want 
                    her to stay?
<b>          
</b>          Kat gives Bianca an evil look then smiles sweetly at
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT
</b>                    Ask Bianca who drove her home
<b>          
</b><b>                                 SHARON
</b>                    Swollen...turgid.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 WALTER
</b>                           (to Bianca; upset)
                    Who drove you home?
<b>          
</b>          Bianca glares at Kat then turns to Walter
<b>          
</b><b>                                 BIANCA
</b>                    Now don't get upset. Daddy, but there's 
                    this boy... and I think he might ask...
<b>          
</b><b>                                 WALTER
</b>                    No! You're not dating until your sister 
                    starts dating.  End of discussion.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 BIANCA
</b>                    What if she never starts dating?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 WALTER
</b>                    Then neither will you.  And I'll get to 
                    sleep at night.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 BIANCA
</b>                    But it's not fair -- she's a mutant, 
                    Daddy!
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT
</b>                    This from someone whose diary is 
                    devoted to favorite grooming tips?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 WALTER
</b>                    Enough!
<b>          
</b>          He pulls out a small tape recorder from his black bag.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 WALTER
</b>                           (continuing)
                    Do you know what this is?
<b>          
</b>          He hits the "play' button and SHRIEKS OF PAIN emanate from 
          the tape recorder.
<b>          
</b><b>          BIANCA AND WALTER
</b>                           (in unison, by 
                           rote)
                    The sound of a fifteen-year-old in 
                    labor.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 WALTER
</b>                    This is why you're not dating until 
                    your sister does.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 BIANCA
</b>                    But she doesn't want to date.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 WALTER
</b>                    Exactly my point
<b>          
</b>          His BEEPER goes off and he grabs his bag again
<b>          
</b><b>                                 WALTER
</b>                           (continuing)
                    Jesus!  Can a man even grab a sandwich 
                    before you women start dilating?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 SHARON
</b>                    Tumescent!
<b>          
</b><b>                                 WALTER
</b>                           (to Sharon; as he 
                           leaves)
                    You're not helping.
<b>          
</b><b>          INT. TUTORING ROOM - DAY
</b><b>          
</b>          Cameron sits with an empty chair beside him.  Bianca arrives 
          in a flurry of blonde hair.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 BIANCA
</b>                    Can we make this quick?  Roxanne 
                    Korrine and Andrew Barrett are having an 
                    incredibly horrendous public break- up 
                    on the quad.  Again.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 CAMERON
</b>                    Well, I thought we'd start with 
                    pronunciation, if that's okay with you.
<b>          
</b><b>          BIANCA
</b>          Not the hacking and gagging and spitting part.  Please.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 CAMERON
</b>                           (looking down)
                    Okay... then how 'bout we try out some 
                    French cuisine.  Saturday?  Night?
<b>          
</b>          Bianca smiles slowly
<b>          
</b><b>                                 BIANCA
</b>                    You're asking me out.  That's so cute.  
                    What's your name again?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 CAMERON
</b>                           (embarrassed)
                    Forget it.
<b>          
</b>          Bianca seizes an opportunity.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 BIANCA
</b>                    No, no, it's my fault -- we didn't have 
                    a proper introduction ---
<b>          
</b><b>                                 CAMERON
</b>                    Cameron.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 BIANCA
</b>                    The thing is, Cameron -- I'm at the 
                    mercy of a particularly hideous breed of 
                    loser.  My sister.  I can't date until 
                    she does.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 CAMERON
</b>                    Seems like she could get a date easy 
                    enough...
<b>          
</b>          She fingers a lock of her hair.  He looks on, dazzled.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 BIANCA
</b><b>          
</b>          The problem is, she's completely anti-social.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 CAMERON
</b>                    Why?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 BIANCA
</b>                    Unsolved mystery.  She used to be 
                    really popular when she started high 
                    school, then it was just like she got 
                    sick of it or something.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 CAMERON
</b>                    That's a shame.
<b>          
</b>          She reaches out and touches his arm
<b>          
</b><b>                                 BIANCA
</b>                    Gosh, if only we could find Kat a 
                    boyfriend...
<b>          
</b><b>                                 CAMERON
</b>                    Let me see what I can do.
<b>          
</b>          Cameron smiles, having no idea how stupid he is
<b>          
</b><b>          INT. BIOLOGY CLASS
</b><b>          
</b>          A frog is being torn asunder by several prongs and picks.  
          Michael and Cameron go for the spleen.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 MICHAEL
</b>                    You're in school for one day and you 
                    ask out the most beautiful girl?  Do you 
                    have no concept of the high school 
                    social code?
<b>          
</b>          Cameron grins away
<b>          
</b><b>                                 CAMERON
</b>                    I teach her French, get to know her, 
                    dazzle her with charm and she falls in 
                    love with me.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 MICHAEL
</b>                    Unlikely, but even so, she still can't 
                    go out with you.  So what's the
                    point?
<b>          
</b>          Cameron motions with his head toward Patrick, a few lab 
          tables away.  He's wearing biker glasses instead of goggles 
          as he tries to revive his frog.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 CAMERON
</b>                    What about him?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 MICHAEL
</b>                           (confused)
                    You wanna go out with him?
<b>          
</b>          The others at the lab table raise their eyebrows
<b>          
</b><b>                                 CAMERON
</b>                           (impatient)
                    No - he could wrangle with the sister.
<b>          
</b>          Michael smiles.  Liking the intrigue.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 MICHAEL
</b>                    What makes you think he'll do it?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 CAMERON
</b>                    He seems like he thrives on danger
<b>          
</b><b>                                 MICHAEL
</b>                    No kidding.  He's a criminal.  I heard 
                    he lit a state trooper on fire.  He just 
                    got out of Alcatraz...
<b>          
</b><b>                                 CAMERON
</b>                    They always let felons sit in on Honors 
                    Biology?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 MICHAEL
</b>                    I'm serious, man, he's whacked.  He 
                    sold his own liver on the black market 
                    so he could buy new speakers.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 CAMERON
</b>                    Forget his reputation.  Do you think 
                    we've got a plan or not?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 MICHAEL
</b>                    Did she actually say she'd go out with 
                    you?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 CAMERON
</b>                    That's what I just said
<b>          
</b>          Michael processes this.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 MICHAEL
</b>                    You know, if you do go out with Bianca, 
                    you'd be set.  You'd outrank everyone.  
                    Strictly A-list.  With me by your side.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 CAMERON
</b>                    I thought you hated those people.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 MICHAEL
</b>                    Hey -- I've gotta have a few clients 
                    when I get to Wall Street.
<b>          
</b>          A cowboy flicks the frog's heart into one of the Coffee 
          Kid's latte.  Cameron presses on, over the melee.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 CAMERON
</b>                    So now all we gotta do is talk to him.
<b>          
</b>          He points to Patrick, who now makes his frog hump another 
          frog, with full-on sound effects.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 MICHAEL
</b>                    I'll let you handle that.
<b>          
</b><b>          INT. WOODSHOP - DAY
</b><b>          
</b>          Boys and a few stray girls nail their pieces of wood
<b>          
</b>          Michael sits next to PEPE, a Coffee Kid, who holds out his 
          jacket like the men who sell watches in the subway.  Inside 
          several bags of coffee hang from hooks.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 PEPE
</b>                    Some people like the Colombian, but it 
                    all depends on your acidity preference.  
                    Me?  I prefer East African and 
                    Indonesian.  You start the day with a 
                    Sumatra Boengie or maybe and Ethiopian 
                    Sidamo in your cup, you're that much 
                    farther ahead than someone drinkin' 
                    Cosia Rican or Kona -- you know what I 
                    mean?
<b>          
</b>          Michael nods solemnly.
<b>          
</b><b>          ACROSS THE ROOM
</b><b>          
</b>          Patrick sits at a table with Scurvy, making something that 
          looks like a machete out of a two-by-four.
<b>          
</b>          Cameron approaches, full of good-natured farm boy cheer
<b>          
</b><b>                                 CAMERON
</b>                    Hey, there
<b>          
</b>          In response, Patrick brandishes a loud POWER TOOL in his 
          direction.
<b>          
</b>          Cameron slinks away.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 CAMERON
</b>                           (continuing)
                    Later, then. 
<b>          
</b>          Michael watches, shaking his head.
<b>          
</b><b>          INT. CAFETERIA - DAY
</b><b>          
</b>          Joey and his pals take turns drawing boobs onto a cafeteria 
          tray with a magic marker.
<b>          
</b>          Michael walks up and sits between them, casual as can be
<b>          
</b><b>                                 MICHAEL
</b>                    Hey.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 JOEY
</b>                    Are you lost?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 MICHAEL
</b>                    Nope - just came by to chat
<b>          
</b><b>                                 JOEY
</b>                    We don't chat.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 MICHAEL
</b>                    Well, actually, I thought I'd run an 
                    idea by you.  You know, just to see if 
                    you're interested.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 JOEY
</b>                    We're not.
<b>          
</b>          He grabs Michael by the side of the head, and proceeds to 
          draw a penis on his cheek with the magic marker.   Michael 
          suffers the indignity and speaks undaunted.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 MICHAEL
</b>                           (grimacing)
                    Hear me out.  You want Bianca don't 
                    you?
<b>          
</b>          Joey sits back and cackles at his drawing.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 MICHAEL
</b>                           (continuing)
                    But she can't go out with you because 
                    her sister is this insane head case and 
                    no one will go out with her. right?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 JOEY
</b>                    Does this conversation have a purpose?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 MICHAEL
</b>                    So what you need to do is recruit a guy 
                    who'll go out with her.  Someone who's 
                    up for the job.
<b>          
</b>          Michael points to Patrick, who makes a disgusted face at his 
          turkey pot pie before he rises and throws it at the garbage 
          can, rather than in it.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 JOEY
</b><b>          
</b>          That guy?  I heard he ate a live duck once.  Everything but 
          the beak and the feet.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 MICHAEL
</b>                    Exactly
<b>          
</b>          Joey turns to look at Michael.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 JOEY
</b><b>          
</b>          What's in it for you?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 MICHAEL
</b>                    Oh, hey, nothin' man   Purely good will 
                    on my part.
<b>          
</b>          He rises to leave and turns to the others.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 MICHAEL
</b>                           (continuing)
                    I have a dick on my face, don't I? 
<b>          
</b><b>          INT. BOY'S ROOM - DAY
</b><b>          
</b>          Michael stands at the sink, trying to scrub Joey's artwork 
          off his face as Cameron watches.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 CAMERON
</b>                    You got him involved?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 MICHAEL
</b>                    Like we had a choice?  Besides -- when 
                    you let the enemy think he's 
                    orchestrating the battle, you're in a 
                    position of power. We let him pretend 
                    he's calling the shots, and while he's 
                    busy setting up the plan, you have time 
                    to woo Bianca.
<b>          
</b>          Cameron grins and puts an arm around him
<b>          
</b><b>                                 CAMERON
</b>                    You're one brilliant guy
<b>          
</b>          Michael pulls back, noticing other guys filing in.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 MICHAEL
</b><b>          
</b>          Hey - I appreciate gratitude as much as the next guy, but 
          it's not gonna do you any good to be known as New Kid Who 
          Embraces Guys In The Bathroom. 
<b>          
</b>          Cameron pulls back and attempts to posture himself in a 
          manly way for the others, now watching.
<b>          
</b><b>          INT. KENNY'S THAI FOOD DINER - DAY
</b><b>          
</b>          Kat and Mandella pick apart their pad thai.  Mandella is 
          smoking.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT
</b>                    So he has this huge raging fit about 
                    Sarah Lawrence and insists that I go to 
                    his male-dominated, puking frat boy, 
                    number one golf team school. I have no 
                    say at all.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 MANDELLA
</b>                    William would never have gone to a 
                    state school.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT
</b>                    William didn't even go to high school
<b>          
</b><b>                                 MANDELLA
</b>                    That's never been proven
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT
</b>                    Neither has his heterosexuality.
<b>          
</b>          Mandella replies with a look of ice.  Kat uses the moment to 
          stub out Mandella's cigarette. 
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT
</b>                           (continuing)
                    I appreciate your efforts toward a 
                    speedy death, but I'm consuming.
                           (pointing at her 
                           food)
                    Do you mind?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 MANDELLA
</b>                    Does it matter?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT
</b>                    If I was Bianca, it would be, "Any 
                    school you want, precious.  Don't forget 
                    your tiara."
<b>          
</b>          They both look up as Patrick enters.  He walks up to the 
          counter to place his order.
<b>          
</b>          Mandella leans toward Kat with the glow of fresh gossip
<b>          
</b><b>                                 MANDELLA
</b>                    Janice Parker told me he was a roadie 
                    for Marilyn Manson.
<b>          
</b>          Patrick nods at them as he takes his food outside.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT 
</b>                    Janice Parker is an idiot
<b>          
</b><b>          INT.  MISS PERKY'S OFFICE - DAY 
</b><b>          
</b>          Patrick sits before Miss Perky, eating his Thai food
<b>          
</b><b>                                 MISS PERKY 
</b>                           (looking at chart)
                    I don't understand, Patrick.  You 
                    haven't done anything asinine this week.  
                    Are you not feeling well?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 PATRICK
</b>                    Touch of the flu.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 MISS PERKY
</b>                    I'm at a loss, then.  What should we 
                    talk about? Your year of absence?
<b>          
</b>          He smiles his charming smile
<b>          
</b><b>                                 PATRICK
</b>                    How 'bout your sex life?
<b>          
</b>          She tolerates his comment with her withering glance.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 MISS PERKY
</b>                    Why don't we discuss your driving need 
                    to be a hemorrhoid?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 PATRICK 
</b>                    What's to discuss?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 MISS PERKY
</b>                    You weren't abused, you aren't stupid, 
                    and as far as I can tell, you're only 
                    slightly psychotic -- so why is it that 
                    you're such a fuck-up?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 PATRICK
</b>                    Well, you know -- there's the prestige 
                    of the job title... and the benefits 
                    package is pretty good...
<b>          
</b>          The bell RINGS.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 MISS PERKY
</b>                    Fine.  Go do something repugnant and 
                    give us something to talk about next 
                    week.
<b>          
</b><b>          INT. TUTORING ROOM - DAY
</b><b>          
</b>          Several pairs of tutors and students sit at the various 
          desks.
<b>          
</b>          Mandella sits with TREVOR, a White Rasta.  She attempts to 
          get him to do geometry, but he stares at her, as if smitten
<b>          
</b><b>                                 MANDELLA
</b>                    Look, it's really easy.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 TREVOR
</b>                    You're a freedom fighter. Be proud, 
                    sister.
<b>          
</b>          Mandella sets down her pencil and closes the book.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 MANDELLA 
</b>                           (rotely)
                    It's Mandella with two L's.  I am not 
                    related to Nelson Mandela.  I am not a 
                    political figure.  I do not live in 
                    South Africa.  My parents just spent a 
                    few too many acid trips thinking they 
                    were revolutionaries.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 TREVOR 
</b>                    But you freed our people
<b>          
</b><b>                                 MANDELLA
</b>                    Your "people" are white, suburban high 
                    school boys who smoke too much hemp.  I 
                    have not freed you, Trevor.
                           (grabbing his arm 
                           dramatically)
                    Only you can free yourself.
<b>          
</b>          ACROSS THE ROOM Bianca and Cameron sit side by side, cozy as 
          can be
<b>          
</b><b>                                 BIANCA
</b>                    C'esc ma tete. This is my head
<b>          
</b><b>                                 CAMERON
</b>                    Right.  See?  You're ready for the 
                    quiz.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 BIANCA
</b>                    I don't want to know how to say that 
                    though.  I want to know useful things.  
                    Like where the good stores are.  How 
                    much does champagne cost?  Stuff like 
                    Chat.  I have never in my life had to 
                    point out my head to someone.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 CAMERON
</b>                    That's because it's such a nice one.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 BIANCA
</b>                    Forget French.
<b>          
</b>          She shuts her book and puts on a seductive smile
<b>          
</b><b>                                 BIANCA
</b>                           (continuing)
                    How is our little Find the Wench A Date 
                    plan progressing?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 CAMERON
</b>                    Well, there's someone I think might be 
<b>                    --
</b><b>          
</b>          Bianca's eyes light up
<b>          
</b><b>                                 BIANCA
</b>                    Show me
<b>          
</b><b>          INT. HALLWAY - DAY
</b><b>          
</b>          Cameron and Bianca lean against the wall -inconspicuously. 
          Bianca plays it cool.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 BIANCA
</b>                    Give me a sign when he walks by.  And 
                    don't point.
<b>          
</b>          The bell RINGS.  Kids flood past.  Then Patrick saunters by 
          with Scurvy.  Cameron nudges Bianca.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 CAMERON
</b>                    There.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 BIANCA
</b>                    Where?
<b>          
</b>          Out of desperation, Cameron awkwardly lunges across 
          Patrick's path.  Patrick shoves him back against the wall 
          without a thought.  Cameron lands in a THUD at Bianca's 
          feet.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 CAMERON
</b>                    I guess he didn't see me 
                           (calling after 
                           Patrick) 
                                     Some other time --
<b>          
</b>          Bianca watches Patrick, a wicked gleam in  her eye.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 BIANCA
</b>                    My God, he's repulsive. He's so 
                    perfect!
<b>          
</b><b>          INT. GYM CLASS - DAY 
</b><b>          
</b>          Several volleyball games are being played.
<b>          
</b>          Joey and a member of his hulking entourage, approach 
          Patrick, who still manages to look cool, even in gym 
          clothes.  They pull him aside roughly.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 PATRICK 
</b>                           (shrugging them 
                           off)
                    What?
<b>          
</b>          Joey points
<b>          
</b>          JOEY See that girl?
<b>          
</b>          Patrick follows his line of vision to Kat as she spikes the 
          ball into some poor cowboy's face.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 PATRICK
</b>                    Yeah
<b>          
</b><b>                                 JOEY 
</b>                    What do you think?
<b>          
</b>          Kat wins the game and high fives the others, who are scared 
          of her.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 PATRICK
</b>                    Two legs, nice rack...
<b>          
</b><b>                                 JOEY
</b>                    Yeah, whatever.  I want you to go out 
                    with her.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 PATRICK
</b>                    Sure, Sparky.  I'll get right on it.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 JOEY 
</b>                    You just said
<b>          
</b><b>                                 PATRICK
</b>                    You need money to take a girl out
<b>          
</b><b>                                 JOEY
</b>                    But you'd go out with her if you had 
                    the cake?
<b>          
</b>          Patrick stares at Joey deadpan.  His dislike for the guy 
          obvious.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 PATRICK 
</b>                           (sarcastic)
                    Yeah, I'd take her to Europe if I had 
                    the plane.
<b>          
</b>          Joey smiles.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 JOEY
</b>                    You got it, Verona.  I pick up the tab, 
                    you do the honors.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 PATRICK
</b>                    You're gonna pay me to take out some 
                    girl?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 JOEY
</b>                    I can't date her sister until that one 
                    gets a boyfriend.  And that's the catch.  
                    She doesn't want a boyfriend.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 PATRICK 
</b>                    How much?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 JOEY
</b><b>          
</b>          Twenty bucks each time you take her out.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 PATRICK
</b>                    I can't take a girl like that out on 
                    twenty bucks.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 JOEY 
</b>                    Fine, thirty.
<b>          
</b>          Patrick raises an eyebrow, urging him up
<b>          
</b><b>                                 JOEY 
</b>                           (continuing)
                    Take it or leave it.  This isn't a 
                    negotiation.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 PATRICK
</b>                    Fifty, and you've got your man.
<b>          
</b>          Patrick walks away with a smile
<b>          
</b><b>          EXT. FIELD HOCKEY FIELD - DAY
</b><b>          
</b>          Kat and the rest of the team go through a grueling practice 
          session.  Kat spares no one as she whips the ball all over 
          the field.
<b>          
</b>          Patrick sits on the bleachers nearby, watching.  A cigarette 
          dangles from his mouth.  His pal, SCURVY is next to him.
<b>          
</b>          MR. CHAPIN, the coach, blows the WHISTLE.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 MR. CHAPIN 
</b>                           (proudly) 
                    Good run, Stratford.
<b>          
</b>          Kat nods in response, and the girls leave the field. Patrick 
          hops down to follow.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 PATRICK 
</b>                    Hey. Girlie.
<b>          
</b>          Kat stops and turns slowly to look at him.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 PATRICK 
</b>                           (continuing) 
                    I mean Wo-man.  How ya doin'?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT 
</b>                           (smiles brightly)
                    Sweating like a pig, actually.  And 
                    yourself?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 PATRICK
</b>                    There's a way to get a guy's attention.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT
</b>                    My mission in life.
<b>          
</b>          She stands there undaunted, hand on hip.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT 
</b>                           (continuing)
                    Obviously, I've struck your fancy. So, 
                    you see, it worked.  The world makes 
                    sense again.
<b>          
</b>          Patrick's eyes narrow.  He steps closer.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 PATRICK 
</b>                    Pick you up Friday, then
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT
</b>                    Oh, right.  Friday.
<b>          
</b>          PATRICK backs up a little.  He uses his most seductive tone
<b>          
</b><b>                                 PATRICK
</b>                    The night I take you to places you've 
                    never been before.  And back.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT
</b>                    Like where?  The 7-Eleven on Burnside?  
                    Do you even know my name, screwboy?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 PATRICK 
</b>                    I know a lot more than that
<b>          
</b>          Kat stares at him.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT 
</b>                    Doubtful.  Very doubtful.
<b>          
</b>          She walks away quickly, leaving him standing alone.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 PATRICK 
</b>                           (calling after her)
                    You're no bargain either, sweetheart.
<b>          
</b>          Scurvy appears at his side
<b>          
</b><b>                                 SCURVY
</b>                    So I guess the Jeep won't be getting a 
                    new Blaupunkt.
<b>          
</b>          ACROSS THE FIELD Cameron and Michael watch.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 MICHAEL 
</b>                    He took the bait.
<b>          
</b><b>          STRATFORD HOUSE/BATHROOM - NIGHT
</b><b>          
</b>          Kat washes her face at the sink.  Bianca appears behind her, 
          and attempts to twist Kat's hair into a chignon.
<b>          
</b>          She wacks Bianca away.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 BIANCA
</b>                    Have you ever considered a new look? I 
                    mean, seriously, you could have some 
                    potential buried under all this 
                    hostility.
<b>          
</b>          Kat pushes past her into the hallway.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT
</b>                    I have the potential to smack the crap 
                    out of you if you don't get out of my 
                    way.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 BIANCA
</b>                    Can you at least start wearing a bra?
<b>          
</b>          Kat SLAMS her door in response.
<b>          
</b><b>          INT. HALLWAY - DAY 
</b><b>          
</b>          Patrick, Scurvy and some other randoms head for the exit
<b>          
</b>          SCURVY You up for a burger?
<b>          
</b>          Patrick looks in his wallet.  It's empty.
<b>          
</b><b>          INT. HALLWAY - DAY
</b><b>          
</b>          Kat stands at her locker, gathering her books.  Patrick 
          appears at her side, smiling.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 PATRICK
</b>                    Hey
<b>          
</b>          Kat doesn't answer
<b>          
</b><b>                                 PATRICK 
</b>                           (continuing) 
                    You hate me don't you?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT
</b>                    I don't really think you warrant that 
                    strong an emotion.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 PATRICK
</b>                    Then say you'll spend Dollar Night at 
                    the track with me.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT 
</b>                    And why would I do that?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 PATRICK
</b>                    Come on -- the ponies, the flat beer, 
                    you with money in your eyes, me with my 
                    hand on your ass...
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT
</b>                    You -- covered in my vomit.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 PATRICK 
</b>                    Seven-thirty?
<b>          
</b>          She slams her locker shut and walks away
<b>          
</b><b>          EXT. DOWNTOWN STREET - NIGHT
</b><b>          
</b>          Kat emerges from a music store carrying a bag of CDs in  her 
          teeth, and fumbling through her purse with both hands.  She 
          finds her keys and pulls them out with a triumphant tug.
<b>          
</b>          She looks up and finds Patrick sitting on the hood of her 
          car
<b>          
</b><b>                                 PATRICK 
</b>                    Nice ride. Vintage fenders.
<b>          
</b>          Kat takes the bag out of her mouth.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT 
</b>                    Are you following me?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 PATRICK
</b>                    I was in the laundromat. I saw your 
                    car. Thought I'd say hi.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT 
</b>                    Hi
<b>          
</b>          She gets in and starts the car.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 PATRICK
</b>                    You're not a big talker, are you?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT
</b>                    Depends on the topic. My fenders don't 
                    really whip me into a verbal frenzy.
<b>          
</b>          She starts to pull out, and is blocked by Joey's Viper, 
          which pulls up perpendicular to her rear and parks.
<b>          
</b>          Joey and his groupies emerge and head for the liquor store
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT 
</b>                           (continuing)
                    Hey -- do you mind?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 JOEY 
</b>                    Not at all
<b>          
</b>          They continue on into the store.  Kat stares at them in 
          disbelief...
<b>          
</b>          Then BACKS UP
<b>          
</b>          Her vintage fenders CRASH into the door of Joey's precious 
          Viper.
<b>          
</b>          Patrick watches with a delighted grin Joey races out of the 
          liquor store.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 JOEY 
</b>                           (continuing) 
                    You fucking bitch!
<b>          
</b>          Kat pulls forward and backs into his car again.  Smiling 
          sweetly.
<b>          
</b><b>          INT. STRATFORD HOUSE - NIGHT 
</b><b>          
</b>          Walter paces as Kat sits calmly on the couch.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 WALTER
</b>                    My insurance does not cover PMS
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT
</b>                    Then tell them I had a seizure.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 WALTER
</b>                    Is this about Sarah Lawrence? You 
                    punishing me?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT
</b>                    I thought you were punishing me.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 WALTER
</b>                    Why can't we agree on this?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT
</b>                    Because you're making decisions for me.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 WALTER
</b>                    As a parent, that's my right
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT
</b>                    So what I want doesn't matter?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 WALTER
</b>                    You're eighteen.  You don't know what 
                    you want.  You won't know until you're 
                    forty-five and you don't have it.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT 
</b>                           (emphatic)
                    I want to go to an East Coast school! I 
                    want you to trust me to make my own 
                    choices.  I want --
<b>          
</b>          Walter's BEEPER goes off
<b>          
</b><b>                                 WALTER
</b>                    Christ!  I want a night to go by that 
                    I'm not staring a contraction in the 
                    face.
<b>          
</b>          He walks out, leaving Kat stewing on the couch.
<b>          
</b><b>          INT. HALLWAY - DAY
</b><b>          
</b>          Patrick shuts his graffiti-encrusted locker, revealing 
          Joey's angry visage, glowering next to him.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 JOEY
</b>                    When I shell out fifty, I expect 
                    results.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 PATRICK 
</b>                    I'm on it
<b>          
</b><b>                                 JOEY
</b>                    Watching the bitch trash my car doesn't 
                    count as a date.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 PATRICK
</b>                    I got her under control. She just acts 
                    crazed in public to keep up the image.
<b>          
</b>          Joey sees through the bluff
<b>          
</b><b>                                 JOEY
</b>                    Let me put it to you this way, if you 
                    don't get any action, I don't get any 
                    action.  So get your ass on hers by the 
                    end of the week.
<b>          
</b>          Joey starts to walk off
<b>          
</b><b>                                 PATRICK 
</b>                    I just upped my price
<b>          
</b><b>                                 JOEY 
</b>                           (turning)
                    What?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 PATRICK
</b>                    A hundred bucks a date.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 JOEY 
</b>                    Forget it.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 PATRICK
</b>                    Forget her sister, then.
<b>          
</b>          Joey thinks for a frustrated moment, PUNCHES  the locker,  
          then peels another fifty out of his wallet with a  menacing 
          scowl.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 JOEY
</b>                    You better hope you're as smooth as you 
                    think you are, Verona.
<b>          
</b>          Patrick takes the money with a smile.
<b>          
</b><b>          INT. TUTORING ROOM - DAY 
</b>          Cameron runs a sentence past Bianca.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 CAMERON
</b>                    La copine et I 'ami?  La diferance?
<b>          
</b>          Bianca glares at him.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 BIANCA
</b>                    A "copine" is someone you can count on.  
                    An "ami" is someone who makes promises 
                    he can't keep.
<b>          
</b>          Cameron closes the French book
<b>          
</b><b>                                 CAMERON
</b>                    You got something on your mind?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 BIANCA
</b>                    I counted on you to help my cause. You 
                    and that thug are obviously failing.  
                    Aren't we ever going on our date?
<b>          
</b>          He melts
<b>          
</b><b>                                 CAMERON
</b>                    You have my word.  As a gentleman
<b>          
</b><b>                                 BIANCA
</b>                    You're sweet.
<b>          
</b>          She touches his hand. He blushes at her praise and watches 
          her toss her hair back
<b>          
</b><b>                                 CAMERON
</b>                           (appreciative)
                    How do you get your hair to look like 
                    that?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 BIANCA
</b>                    Eber's Deep Conditioner every two days.  
                    And I never, ever use a blowdryer 
                    without the diffuser attachment.
<b>          
</b>          Cameron nods with interest.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 CAMERON
</b>                    You know, I read an article about that.
<b>          
</b>          Bianca looks surprised.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 BIANCA
</b>                    You did?
<b>          
</b><b>          INT. BOY'S ROOM - DAY
</b><b>          
</b>          Patrick stands at the sink, washing his hands Michael and 
          Cameron cower in the corner, watching him.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 PATRICK 
</b>                           (without turning 
                           around) 
                    Say it
<b>          
</b><b>                                 MICHAEL 
</b>                           (clearing his 
                           throat) 
                    What?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 PATRICK
</b>                    Whatever the hell it is you're standin' 
                    there waitin' to say.
<b>          
</b>          Cameron bravely steps forward
<b>          
</b><b>                                 CAMERON
</b>                    We wanted to talk to you about the 
                    plan.
<b>          
</b>          Patrick turns toward them.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 PATRICK 
</b>                    What plan?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 MICHAEL
</b>                    The situation is, my man Cameron here 
                    has a major jones for Bianca Stratford.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 PATRICK
</b>                    What is it with this chick?  She have 
                    three tits?
<b>          
</b>          Cameron starts to object, but Michael holds up a hand.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 MICHAEL
</b>                    I think I speak correctly when I say 
                    that Cameron's love is pure.  Purer than 
                    say -- Joey Dorsey's.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 PATRICK
</b>                    Dorsey can plow whoever he wants. I'm 
                    just in this for the cash.
<b>          
</b>          Cameron starts choking at the thought of Joey plowing his 
          beloved Bianca.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 MICHAEL
</b>                    That's where we can help you.  With 
                    Kat.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 PATRICK 
</b>                    So Dorsey can get the girl?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 MICHAEL
</b>                    Patrick, Pat, you're not looking at the 
                    big picture.  Joey's just a pawn. We set 
                    this whole thing up so Cameron can get 
                    the girl.
<b>          
</b>          Patrick smiles.  He likes the idea of Joey being a pawn in 
          this game.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 PATRICK
</b>                    You two are gonna help me tame the wild 
                    beast?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 MICHAEL 
</b>                           (grinning) 
                    We're your guys.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 CAMERON
</b>                    And he means that strictly in a non- 
                    prison-movie type of way.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 PATRICK 
</b>                    Yeah -- we'll see.
<b>          
</b>          He swings the door open and exits, leaving Michael and 
          Cameron grinning at each other.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 MICHAEL 
</b>                    We're in.
<b>          
</b><b>          INT. CLASSROOM - DAY
</b><b>          
</b>          CU on a party invitation as it gets handed out.  "Future 
          Princeton Grad Bogey Lowenstein proudly presents a Saturday 
          night bash at his abode.  Casual attire".
<b>          
</b>          Michael holds the invitation up to Cameron.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 CAMERON
</b>                    This is it.  A golden opportunity. 
                    Patrick can ask Katarina to the party.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 MICHAEL
</b>                    In that case, we'll need to make it a 
                    school-wide blow out.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 CAMERON
</b>                    Will Bogey get bent?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 MICHAEL
</b>                    Are you kidding?  He'll piss himself 
                    with joy.  He's the ultimate kiss ass.
<b>          
</b><b>          CAFETERIA - DAY
</b><b>          
</b>          Michael hands a jock the party invite as they pass each 
          other at the trash cans.
<b>          
</b><b>          INT.  GYM CLASS - DAY 
</b><b>          
</b>          The jock calls a fellow jock 
<b>          
</b><b>          INT.  MATH CLASS - DAY 
</b><b>          
</b>          Jock whispers to a cheerleader 
<b>          
</b><b>          COURTYARD - DAY
</b><b>          
</b>          The cheerleader calls a White Rasta that she's making out 
          with, showing him the invite.
<b>          
</b><b>          TRACK - DAY
</b><b>          
</b>          The White Rasta tells a cowboy as they run laps during track 
          practice.
<b>          
</b><b>          INT. SHOWERS - DAY
</b><b>          
</b>          The cowboy Cells a Coffee Kid, as he shields his java from 
          the spray of the shower.
<b>          
</b><b>          INT. HALLWAY - DAY
</b><b>          
</b>          Joey stands ac his open locker with Bianca.  The locker is 
          an homage to Joey's "modeling" career.  Cheesy PRINT ADS of 
          him -- running in a field of daisies, petting a kitten, etc. 
          -- adorn the locker door.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 JOEY 
</b>                    Which do you like better?
<b>          
</b>          INSERT - HEADSHOTS of Joey.  In one, he's pouting in a white 
          shirt.  In the other, he's pouting in a black shirt.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 BIANCA
</b>                    I think I like the white shirt
<b>          
</b>          Joey nods thoughtfully.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 JOEY 
</b>                    It's more
<b>          
</b><b>                                 BIANCA
</b>                    Expensive?
<b>          
</b><b>          
</b><b>                                 JOEY
</b>                    Exactly 
                           (beat)
                    So, you going to Bogey Lowenbrau's 
                    thing on Saturday?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 BIANCA
</b>                    Hopefully.
<b>          
</b>          He gives her his best flirtatious smile
<b>          
</b><b>                                 JOEY
</b>                    Good, 'cause I'm not gonna bother if 
                    you won't be there.
<b>          
</b>          He taps her on the nose and she giggles
<b>          
</b><b>          INT. TUTORING ROOM 
</b>          Bianca sits across from Cameron, who's transfixed, as always
<b>          
</b><b>                                 BIANCA
</b>                    Have you heard about Bogey Lowenstein's 
                    party?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 CAMERON
</b>                    Sure have.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 BIANCA
</b>                           (pouting)
                    I really, really, really wanna go, but 
                    I can't.  Not unless my sister goes.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 CAMERON
</b>                    I'm workin' on it. But she doesn't seem 
                    to be goin' for him.
<b>          
</b>          He fishes.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 CAMERON
</b>                           (continuing) 
                    She's not a...
<b>          
</b><b>                                 BIANCA
</b>                    Lesbian?  No. I found a picture of 
                    Jared Leto in one of her drawers, so I'm 
                    pretty sure she's not harboring same-sex 
                    tendencies.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 CAMERON
</b>                    So that's the kind of guy she likes? 
                    Pretty ones?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 BIANCA
</b>                    Who knows?  All I've ever heard her say 
                    is that she'd dip before dating a guy 
                    that smokes.
<b>          
</b>          Cameron furiously takes notes
<b>          
</b><b>                                 CAMERON
</b>                    All right.  What else is she partial 
                    to?
<b>          
</b><b>          INT. DIVE BAR - NIGHT 
</b>          Patrick plays pool with some random deviant cronies.
<b>          
</b>          He looks up when he hears a COMMOTION at the door.  LOU the 
          bouncer is in the midst of throwing Michael and Cameron out.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 PATRICK
</b>                    Lou, it's okay.  They're with me.
<b>          
</b>          Lou looks at Patrick, surprised, then reluctantly lets our 
          two non-deviants pass through.
<b>          
</b>          Patrick guides them to a table and sips from a beer.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 PATRICK 
</b>                           (continuing)
                    What've you got for me?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 CAMERON
</b>                    I've retrieved certain pieces of 
                    information on Miss Katarina Stratford I 
                    think you'll find helpful.
<b>          
</b>          Cameron pulls out a piece of paper.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 MICHAEL 
</b>                           (to Patrick)
<b>          
</b>          One question before we start -- should you be drinking 
          alcohol when you don't have a liver?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 PATRICK
</b>                    What?!
<b>          
</b><b>                                 MICHAEL 
</b>                    Good enough.
<b>          
</b>          Cameron looks up at Patrick.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 CAMERON
</b>                    Number one.  She hates smokers
<b>          
</b><b>                                 MICHAEL 
</b>                    It's a lung cancer issue
<b>          
</b><b>                                 CAMERON
</b>                    Her favorite uncle
<b>          
</b><b>                                 MICHAEL 
</b>                    Dead at forty-one.
<b>          
</b>          Patrick sits up
<b>          
</b><b>                                 PATRICK
</b>                    Are you telling me I'm a - 
                           (spits the word 
                           out)
                    "non-smoker"?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 MICHAEL 
</b>                    Just for now.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 CAMERON
</b>                    Another thing.  Bianca said that Kat 
                    likes -- pretty guys.
<b>          
</b>          This is met with silence.  Then:
<b>          
</b><b>                                 PATRICK
</b>                    What?  You don't think I'm pretty?
<b>          
</b>          Michael smacks Cameron
<b>          
</b><b>                                 MICHAEL 
</b>                    He's pretty!
<b>          
</b><b>                                 CAMERON
</b>                    Okay!  I wasn't sure
<b>          
</b>          Cameron goes back to the list.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 CAMERON
</b>                           (continuing)
                    Okay -- Likes:  Thai food, feminist 
                    prose, and "angry, stinky girl music of 
                    the indie-rock persuasion".
<b>          
</b><b>                                 PATRICK
</b>                    So what does that give me?  I'm 
                    supposed to buy her some noodles and a 
                    book and sit around listening to chicks 
                    who can't play their instruments?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 MICHAEL
</b>                    Ever been to Club Skunk?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 PATRICK
</b>                    Yeah.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 CAMERON
</b>                    Gigglepuss is playing there tomorrow 
                    night.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 PATRICK 
</b>                    Don't make me do it, man
<b>          
</b><b>                                 MICHAEL
</b>                    Assail your ears for one night.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 CAMERON
</b>                    It's her favorite band.
<b>          
</b>          Patrick groans
<b>          
</b><b>                                 MICHAEL
</b>                    I also retrieved a list of her most 
                    recent CD purchases, courtesy of 
                    American Express.
<b>          
</b>          He hands it over.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 PATRICK 
</b>                           (smiling)
                    Michael -- did you get this information 
                    "illegally"?
<b>          
</b>          Michael puts a finger to his lips.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 MICHAEL
</b>                    I prefer to think of it simply as an 
                    alternative to what the law allows.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 PATRICK 
</b>                    I'm likin' you guys better
<b>          
</b>          He looks down at the list of CDs.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 PATRICK 
</b>                           (continuing) 
                    This is really music?
<b>          
</b><b>          INT. KAT'S ROOM - NIGHT
</b><b>          
</b>          MUSIC BLARES in a room with minimalist decor splashed with 
          indie rock band posters and flyers.
<b>          
</b>          Kat and Mandella dance as they dress and apply make-up 
          Bianca enters, interrupting their fun.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 BIANCA
</b>                    Can you turn down the Screaming 
                    Menstrual Bitches?  I'm trying to study.
<b>          
</b>          Kat doesn't move, so Bianca crosses to the stereo, turning 
          down the volume.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 BIANCA
</b>                           (continuing)
                    Don't tell me you're actually going 
                    out?  On a school night, no less.
<b>          
</b>          Kat shoots her a glare
<b>          
</b><b>                                 BIANCA
</b>                           (continuing; 
                           excited)
                    Oh my God, does this mean you're 
                    becoming normal?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT
</b>                    It means that Gigglepuss is playing at 
                    Club Skunk and we're going.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 BIANCA
</b>                           (disappointed)
                    Oh, I thought you might have a date
                           (beat)
                    I don't know why I'm bothering to ask, 
                    but are you going to Bogey Lowenstein's 
                    party Saturday night?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT
</b>                    What do you think?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 BIANCA
</b>                    I think you're a freak.  I think you do 
                    this to torture me.  And I think you 
                    suck.
<b>          
</b>          She smiles sweetly and shuts the door behind her.   Kat 
          doesn't bat an eye.  She grabs her purse and opens the door
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT 
</b>                    Let's hit it.
<b>          
</b><b>          EXT. CLUB SKUNK - NIGHT
</b><b>          
</b>          A happy black and white neon skunk sprays fine mist on the 
          line of kids below.
<b>          
</b><b>          INT. CLUB FOYER - NIGHT
</b><b>          
</b>          Kat and Mandella walk in, Mandella nervously pulling out her 
          fake ID.  The giant, afroed bouncer, BRUCE, looks typically 
          mono-syllabic.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 MANDELLA 
</b>                           (whispering to Kat) 
                    You think this'll work?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT 
</b>                    No fear.
<b>          
</b>          They approach Bruce.  Kat puts on her happy, shiny face
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT 
</b>                           (continuing)
                    Hello!  We'd like two for Gigglepuss!
<b>          
</b>          Bruce looks the girls up and down.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 BRUCE 
</b>                    I can count.
<b>          
</b>          He looks at their IDs. Mandella gently moves Kat aside, 
          wearing a face that could only be described as "I AM a 
          Victoria's Secret model."
<b>          
</b><b>                                 MANDELLA 
</b>                    I'll bet you can..
<b>          
</b>          She sticks out her chest and licks her lips.  Bruce stares 
          at her deadpan and hands her back the IDs.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 BRUCE 
</b>                    Go ahead.
                           (to Mandella)
                    And you
<b>          
</b><b>                                 MANDELLA 
</b>                           (all come hither)
                    Yes?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 BRUCE
</b>                    Take it easy on the guys in there.
<b>          
</b>          Mandella winks at him and sashays inside   Kat: follows 
          behind, shaking her head.
<b>          
</b><b>          EXT. CLUB SKUNK - NIGHT 
</b><b>          
</b>          Patrick's mail truck clatters to a stop out front.
<b>          
</b><b>          INT. CLUB FOYER - NIGHT
</b><b>          
</b>          Patrick walks up to Bruce, who's frisking a badly mowhawked 
          PIERCED EYEBROW BOY.  Bruce pulls a SWITCHBLADE out of the 
          boy's inside pocket.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 BRUCE
</b>                    Next time, leave the Bic at home, 
                    Skippy.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 SKIPPY
</b>                    It's a bottle opener.
<b>          
</b>          Bruce pushes him inside the club, then sees Patrick.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 BRUCE 
</b>                    Verona, my man.
<b>          
</b>          They shake.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 PATRICK 
</b>                    Always a pleasure, Brucie.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 BRUCE
</b>                    Didn't have you pegged for a Gigglepuss 
                    fan.  Aren't they a little too pre-teen 
                    belly-button ring for you?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 PATRICK
</b>                    Fan of a fan.  You see a couple of 
                    minors come in?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 BRUCE
</b>                    Never
<b>          
</b><b>                                 PATRICK
</b>                    Padua girls.  One tall, decent body. 
                    The other one kinda short and 
                    undersexed?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 BRUCE 
</b>                    Just sent 'em through.
<b>          
</b>          Patrick starts to go in
<b>          
</b><b>                                 BRUCE 
</b>                           (continuing)
                    Hey -- what happened to that chick you 
                    brought last time?  The one with the 
                    snake?
<b>          
</b>          Patrick laughs and goes into the club
<b>          
</b><b>          INT. CLUB - NIGHT
</b><b>          
</b>          Onstage, the all-female band GIGGLEPUSS is parlaying their 
          bad girl sass into a ripping punk number.
<b>          
</b>          Near the stage is a joyful mass of pogo-ing teens AT THE BAR
<b>          
</b>          Patrick bellies up and looks around the club. Gigglepuss 
          finishes a song.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 LEAD SINGER
</b>                    Hello, out there.  We're Gigglepuss and 
                    we're from Olympia.
<b>          
</b>          A teenage boy in the audience takes the opportunity to 
          scream.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 BOY (0.S.)
</b>                    Pet my kitty!
<b>          
</b><b>                                 LEAD SINGER 
</b>                    Meow
<b>          
</b>          They rev into their next song. 
<b>          
</b><b>          NEAR THE STAGE  
</b><b>          
</b>          Mandella and Kat glow with sweat.  When they hear the 
          opening chords of the song, they look at each other and 
          scream with glee as they begin to dance.  They couldn't be 
          having a better time.
<b>          
</b><b>          AT THE BAR
</b><b>          
</b>          Patrick signals to get the bartender's attention and looks 
          across the bouncing surge of the crowd.  He spots Kat and 
          Mandella singing along.
<b>          
</b><b>          HIS POV
</b><b>          
</b>          The gleeful Kat -- dancing and looking completely at ease. 
          None of her usual "attitude".  Patrick is transfixed.  And 
          most definitely attracted.
<b>          
</b>          NEAR THE STAGE Kat looks at Mandella.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT 
</b>                           (shouting)
                    I need agua!
<b>          
</b>          She makes her way through the crowd to the bar. AT THE BAR
<b>          
</b>          She made it.  She signals for the bartender and as she's 
          waiting, looks around.  She spots Patrick a few feet away
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT 
</b>                           (continuing to 
                           herself) 
                    Shit
<b>          
</b>          She sneaks a glance.  He's staring, but this time he looks 
          away before she can.  Despite herself, she's miffed.
<b>          
</b>          The bartender arrives
<b>          
</b><b>          BARTENDER 
</b>                           (shouting) 
                    What can I get you?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT 
</b>                    Two waters.
<b>          
</b>          She looks at Patrick again.  He's completely absorbed in the 
          band.  She scowls.  The bottled water arrives and she 
          marches off, forgetting to pay.
<b>          
</b>          She walks up to Patrick.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT 
</b>                           (continuing) 
                    You're not fooling anyone.
<b>          
</b>          Patrick looks at her, surprised
<b>          
</b><b>                                 PATRICK 
</b>                           (yelling) 
                    hey.  Great show, huh?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT 
</b>                           (yelling)
<b>          
</b>          If you're planning on asking me out you might as well get it 
          over with.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 PATRICK 
</b>                           (yelling) 
                    Excuse me?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT 
</b>                           (yelling)
                    That's what you want, isn't it?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 PATRICK 
</b>                           (yelling; gesturing 
                           toward the band)
                    Do you mind?  You're sort of ruining it 
                    for me.
<b>          
</b>          Kat steams.  And watches him watch the band
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT 
</b>                           (yelling)
                    You're not surrounded by your usual 
                    cloud of smoke.
<b>          
</b>          The band takes a break, so they can stop yelling now
<b>          
</b><b>                                 PATRICK 
</b>                    I know.  I quit.
<b>          
</b>          He leans back, making no attempt to hit on her.  She moves 
          closer.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT 
</b>                    Oh, really?
<b>          
</b>          He motions toward the stage
<b>          
</b><b>                                 PATRICK
</b>                    You know, these guys are no Bikini Kill 
                    or The Raincoats, but they're right up 
                    there.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT
</b>                    You know who The Raincoats are?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 PATRICK 
</b>                    Why, don't you?
<b>          
</b>          She's completely taken aback.  He uses the moment to his 
          advantage and brushes her hair back as he speaks right into 
          her ear.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 PATRICK 
</b>                           (continuing)
                    I watched you out there   I've never 
                    seen you look like that
<b>          
</b>          Kat steps away, brushing the hair back that he just touched 
          Her cheeks pinken.
<b>          
</b>          His cocky side is back in a flash
<b>          
</b><b>                                 PATRICK 
</b>                           (continuing) 
                    Come to that party with me.
<b>          
</b>          At that moment, the band starts another SONG
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT 
</b>                           (yelling) 
                    What?
<b>          
</b>          The bartender approaches.
<b>          
</b><b>          BARTENDER 
</b>                           (to Kat, yelling) 
                    You forgot to pay!
<b>          
</b><b>                                 PATRICK 
</b>                           (yelling) 
                    I got it, Rick.
<b>          
</b>          He tosses some bills on the bar
<b>          
</b>          Rather than thank him, Kat simply watches him, trying to 
          figure out his motive.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 PATRICK 
</b>                           (continuing; 
                           yelling) 
                    Nine-thirty then.
<b>          
</b>          A few people have gotten between them at the bar and she 
          can't hear a word he's saying.  She gives him one last look 
          and heads back into the crowd.
<b>          
</b>          Patrick smiles.  She didn't say no this time.
<b>          
</b><b>          EXT. CLUB SKUNK - NIGHT
</b><b>          
</b>          The crowd files out of the club, Kat and Mandella amongst 
          them.  A^ they're walking toward the parking lot, Patrick 
          coasts by in his truck.  The gears GRIND.  He yells out the 
          window.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 MANDELLA 
</b>                    What'd he say?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT 
</b>                    Who cares?
<b>          
</b>          Mandella watches Kat as she stares after Patrick
<b>          
</b><b>                                 MANDELLA
</b>                    Has he importun'd you with love in 
                    honourable fashion?
<b>          
</b>          Kat glances sharply at her.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 MANDELLA 
</b>                           (continuing; off 
                           her look)
                    Don't be Cruella with me.  I'm in favor 
                    of romance.  You're the one that wants 
                    to march on Washington every five 
                    minutes.
<b>          
</b>          Kat pokes her, then looks back at the club dreamily.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT 
</b>                    Gigglepuss was so beyond.
<b>          
</b>          Mandella nods.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 MANDELLA
</b>                    They were.  I only wish William could 
                    have been here to witness the rebirth of 
                    punk rock with us.
<b>          
</b>          Kat links her arm through Mandella's and they head for the 
          car.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT
</b>                    So true.
<b>          
</b><b>          INT. HALLWAY - DAY 
</b>          Cameron and Michael are at Michael's locker.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 CAMERON
</b>                    So, then she says that she almost 
                    didn't wear the Kenneth Coles with that 
                    dress because she thought she was 
                    mixing, you know, genres. And the fact 
                    that I noticed -- and I'm quoting here -
                    "really meant something."
<b>          
</b>          Cameron looks At Michael expectantly
<b>          
</b><b>                                 MICHAEL 
</b>                    You told me that part already.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 CAMERON
</b>                    Hell, I've just been going over the 
                    whole thing in my head and -
<b>          
</b>          Joey appears over Cameron's shoulder.  
<b>          
</b><b>                                 JOEY 
</b>                    Hey.  Dingo Boingo
<b>          
</b>          Cameron and Michael look at each other And turn around 
          slowly
<b>          
</b><b>                                 JOEY 
</b>                           (continuing; to 
                           Michael)
                    I hear you're helpin' Verona.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 MICHAEL 
</b>                    Uh,  yeah.  We're old friend*
<b>          
</b><b>                                 JOEY 
</b>                    You and Verona?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 MICHAEL
</b>                    What?  We took bathes together when we 
                    were kids.
<b>          
</b>          It's incredibly obvious that he's lying.  Joey eyes him then 
          turns to Cameron.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 JOEY
</b>                    What's your gig in all this?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 CAMERON
</b>                    I'm just the new guy.
<b>          
</b>          Joey turns back to Michael, grabbing the alligator on his 
          shirt and twisting it.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 JOEY
</b>                    You better not fuck this up.  I'm 
                    heavily invested.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 MICHAEL
</b>                    Hey -- it's all for the higher good 
                    right?
<b>          
</b>          Joey lets go of Michael and SHOVES Cameron against a locker 
          for good measure, as he walks away-
<b>          
</b><b>                                 CAMERON
</b>                    Is it about me?
<b>          
</b><b>          EXT. MISS PERKY'S OFFICE - DAY
</b><b>          
</b>          Kat sits outside waiting for her appointment, bored and 
          annoyed.
<b>          
</b>          The door opens and Miss Perky escorts Patrick out
<b>          
</b><b>                                 MISS PERKY
</b>                    You're completely demented.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 PATRICK
</b>                           (cheery)
                    See you next week!
<b>          
</b>          Kat stands and Patrick sees her.
<b>          
</b>          Miss Perky watches in horror
<b>          
</b><b>          MISS PERKY
</b>          You two know each other?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 PATRICK/KAT 
</b>                    Yeah/No.
<b>          
</b>          Miss Perky grabs Kat and shoves her into her office.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 MISS PERKY 
</b>                           (to Patrick)
                    Dear God, stay away from her.  If you 
                    two ever decided to breed, evil would 
                    truly walk the earth.
<b>          
</b>          Patrick gives Kat one last look before the door shuts, then 
          smiles-
<b>          
</b><b>          EXT. STRATFORD HOUSE - NIGHT 
</b><b>          
</b>          The lights are on, illuminating the yard
<b>          
</b><b>          INT.  STRATFORD HOUSE/UPSTAIRS HALLWAY - NIGHT
</b><b>          
</b>          Bianca and Chastity stand outside Kat's room.  MUSIC is 
          blaring and the door is shut.  Bianca looks at her watch
<b>          
</b><b>                                 BIANCA
</b>                    She's obviously not going.
<b>          
</b><b>          INT. LIVING ROOM - NIGHT
</b><b>          
</b>          Across the carpet, two pairs of teenage girl feet sneak 
          past.  Bianca and Chastity, teddy bear purses in hand.
<b>          
</b>          FROM THE KITCHEN A RUSTLING is heard.  The girls freeze.
<b>          
</b>          Walter emerges from the kitchen with a mile-high sandwich 
          The girls are like statues.  Walter jumps.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 BIANCA
</b>                    Daddy, I --
<b>          
</b><b>                                 WALTER
</b>                    And where're you going?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 BIANCA
</b>                    If you must know, we were attempting to 
                    go to a small study group of friends.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 WALTER
</b>                    Otherwise known as an orgy?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 BIANCA
</b>                    It's just a party. Daddy, but I knew 
                    you'd forbid me to go since "Gloria 
                    Steinem" over there isn't going --
<b>          
</b>          She points to Kat -- Walkman blaring -- who comes 
          downstairs, wearing a baby tee and battered Levis.  Her 
          relaxing-at-home look is about 400 times sexier than her at-
          school look.  She wanders toward the kitchen.
<b>          
</b>          Walter directs his attention toward Kat.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 WALTER
</b>                    Do you know about any party? Katarina?
<b>          
</b>          Kat shrugs as she comes back out of the kitchen with an 
          apple
<b>          
</b><b>                                 BIANCA
</b>                    Daddy, people expect me to be there!
<b>          
</b><b>                                 WALTER
</b>                    If Kat's not going, you're not going.
<b>          
</b>          Bianca turns to Kat, eyes ablaze
<b>          
</b><b>                                 BIANCA
</b>                    You're ruining my life'  Because you 
                    won't be normal, I can't be normal.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT 
</b>                    What's normal?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 BIANCA
</b>                    Bogey Lowenstein's party is normal, but 
                    you're too busy listening to Bitches Who 
                    Need Prozac to know that.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 WALTER
</b>                    What's a Bogey Lowenstein?
<b>          
</b>          Kat takes off her earphones, ready to do battle
<b>          
</b><b>                                 BIANCA
</b>                    Can't you forget for just one night 
                    that you're completely wretched?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT
</b>                    At least I'm not a clouted fen- sucked 
                    hedge-pig.
<b>          
</b>          Bianca tosses her hair.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 BIANCA
</b>                    Like I'm supposed to know what that 
                    even means.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT
</b>                    It's Shakespeare.  Maybe you've heard 
                    of him?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 BIANCA
</b>                    Yeah, he's your freak friend Mandella's 
                    boyfriend.  I guess since I'm not 
                    allowed to go out, I should obsess over 
                    a dead guy, too.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 WALTER
</b>                    Girls
<b>          
</b>          Kat stares Bianca down
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT
</b>                    I know about the goddamn party.  I'm 
                    going.
<b>          
</b>          Bianca and Chastity look at each other, thrilled, and burst 
          into gleeful screams.
<b>          
</b>          A startled Walter clutches Bianca in a protective hug.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 WALTER
</b>                    Oh, God.  It's starting.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 BIANCA
</b>                    It's just a party. Daddy.
<b>          
</b>          Walter looks dazed.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 WALTER
</b>                    Wear the belly before you go.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 BIANCA
</b>                    Daddy, no!
<b>          
</b><b>                                 WALTER
</b>                    Just for a minute
<b>          
</b>          He rushes to a cupboard and pulls out a padded faux-
          pregnancy belly.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 WALTER
</b>                           (continuing)
                    I want you to realize the weight of 
                    your decisions.
<b>          
</b>          He hangs the belly on her as she stands mortified.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 BIANCA
</b>                    You are so completely unbalanced.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT 
</b>                    Can we go now?

          Scanned by http://freemoviescripts.com
          Formatting by http://simplyscripts.home.att.net

<b>          
</b><b>                                 WALTER
</b>                           (to Bianca)
                    Promise me you won't talk to any boys 
                    unless your sister is present.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 BIANCA
</b>                    Why?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 WALTER
</b>                    Because she'll scare them away.
<b>          
</b>          Kat stomps to the door, grabbing her car keys off the hall 
          table and a sweater from the coat rack. She flings open the 
          door and...
<b>          
</b>          There stands Patrick.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 PATRICK 
</b>                    Nine-thirty right?
<b>          
</b>          Kat's in shock
<b>          
</b><b>                                 PATRICK 
</b>                           (continuing)
                    I'm early.
<b>          
</b>          She holds up her keys
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT 
</b>                    I'm driving.
<b>          
</b>          He peeks in behind her.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 PATRICK 
</b>                    Who knocked up your sister?
<b>          
</b><b>          INT. BOGEY LOWENSTEIN'S HOUSE - NIGHT
</b><b>          
</b>          BOGEY, a short Future MBA in a tux, greets his guests like a 
          pro, handing out cigars and martinis.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 BOGEY
</b>                    Nice to see you.  Martini bar to the 
                    right, shots in the kitchen.
<b>          
</b>          The house is filled to capacity with Padua High's finest Kat 
          pushes through the crowd.  Patrick saunters in behind her
<b>          
</b><b>          INT. BOGEY'S KITCHEN - NIGHT
</b><b>          
</b>          Joey lines up a row of shots amid much whooping and 
          hollering within the jock crowd.
<b>          
</b>          Kat enters, then quickly tries to make an about face.  Joey 
          sees her and rushes over to block her, standing in the 
          doorway.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 JOEY
</b>                    Lookin' fresh tonight, Pussy-Kat
<b>          
</b>          Kat gives him a death look and then stops and points at his 
          forehead.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT
</b>                    Wait -- was that?-- Did your hairline 
                    just recede?
<b>          
</b>          He panics, whipping out a handy pocket mirror   She's 
          already walking away.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 JOEY 
</b>                    Where ya goin?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT
</b>                    Away.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 JOEY 
</b>                    Your sister here?
<b>          
</b>          Kat's face shows utter hatred
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT 
</b>                    Leave my sister alone.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 JOEY 
</b>                           (smirking) 
                    And why would I do that?
<b>          
</b>          A RUCKUS sounds from the next room
<b>          
</b><b>                                 JOCK 
</b>                    A fight!
<b>          
</b>          The other jocks rush to watch as two Coffee Kids splash 
          their cupfuls on each other.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 COFFEE KID #1
</b>                    That was a New Guinea Peaberry, you 
                    Folger's-crystals-slurping-buttwipe.
<b>          
</b>          Caffeinated fists fly.  Joey slithers away from the door to 
          watch, giving Kat one last smirk, just as Bianca walks into 
          the kitchen.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 JOEY 
</b>                    Just who I was looking for.
<b>          
</b>          He puts his arm around Bianca and escorts her out
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT 
</b><b>                                 BIANCA
</b><b>          
</b>          Bianca keeps walking, ignoring Kat
<b>          
</b>          A GUY pouring shots hands Kat one She downs it and accepts 
          another.
<b>          
</b><b>          GUY
</b>          Drink up, sister.
<b>          
</b>          Patrick walks up
<b>          
</b><b>                                 PATRICK
</b>                    What's this?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT 
</b>                           (mocking)
                    "I'm getting trashed, man." Isn't that 
                    what you're supposed to do at a party?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 PATRICK
</b>                    I say, do what you wanna do.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT
</b>                    Funny, you're the only one
<b>          
</b>          She downs another.
<b>          
</b><b>          INT. BOGEY'S LIVING ROOM - NIGHT
</b><b>          
</b>          Cameron and Michael enter.  Cameron looks, around for his 
          beloved, while Michael schmoozee with all in attendance and 
          dishes dirt simultaneously.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 MICHAEL 
</b>                           (high-fiving a 
                           jock)
                    Moose, my man! 
                           (to Cameron)
                    Ranked fifth in the state. Recruiters 
                    have already started calling.
<b>          
</b>          Cameron nods intently
<b>          
</b><b>                                 MICHAEL 
</b>                           (continuing; 
                           grabbing his belt)
                    Yo, Clem. 
                           (to Cameron)
                    A Patsy Cline fan, but hates the new 
                    Leanne Rimes. 
                           (with a Jamaican 
                           swagger)
                    Ziggy, peace, bra. 
                           (to Cameron)
                    Prefers a water pipe, but has been 
                    known to use a bong.
<b>          
</b>          Michael spots Bianca and Chastity, watching the skirmish, 
          and points Cameron's body in her direction.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 MICHAEL 
</b>                           (continuing)
                    Follow the love, man
<b>          
</b>          ON BIANCA AND CHASTITY Bianca cranes her neck
<b>          
</b><b>                                 BIANCA
</b>                    Where did he go?  He was just here.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 CHASTITY 
</b>                    Who?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 BIANCA
</b>                    Joey.
<b>          
</b>          Cameron walks over.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 CAMERON
</b>                    Evening, ladies.
<b>          
</b>          Bianca turns and graces him with a pained smile.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 BIANCA
</b>                    Hi.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 CAMERON
</b>                    Looks like things worked out tonight, 
                    huh?
<b>          
</b>          Bianca ignores the question and tries to pawn him off
<b>          
</b><b>                                 BIANCA
</b>                    You know Chastity?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 CAMERON
</b>                    I believe we share an art instructor
<b>          
</b><b>                                 CHASTITY 
</b>                    Great
<b>          
</b><b>                                 BIANCA
</b>                    Would you mind getting me a drink, 
                    Cameron?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 CAMERON
</b>                    Certainly
                    Pabst?  Old Milwaukee? RaiJieer?
<b>          
</b>          Bianca gives him a tense smile.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 BIANCA
</b>                    Surprise me.
<b>          
</b>          He heads for the kitchen.  Joey walks up and grabs her 
          around the waist.
<b>          
</b>          She giggles as he picks her up and carries her off -- just 
          as Cameron returns, a beer -- complete with a napkin and 
          straw -- in his hand.
<b>          
</b>          Chastity glares with a jealous fury after Bianca and Joey, 
          then gives Cameron the once-over and walks away.
<b>          
</b>          Michael appears.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 MICHAEL
</b>                    Extremely unfortunate maneuver.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 CAMERON
</b>                    The hell is that?  What kind of 'guy 
                    just picks up a girl and carries her 
                    away while you're talking to her?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 MICHAEL
</b>                    Buttholus extremus.  But hey, you're 
                    making progress.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 CAMERON
</b>                    No, I ' m not.
<b>          
</b>          He smacks himself in the head
<b>          
</b><b>                                 CAMERON
</b>                           (continuing)
                    She used me!  She wants to go out with 
                    Dorsey.  Not me.  I'm an idiot!
<b>          
</b>          Michael pats him on the shoulder.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 MICHAEL 
</b>                    At least you're self-aware
<b>          
</b><b>          BOGEY'S KITCHEN - NIGHT
</b><b>          
</b>          Kat and a crowd of White Rastas and Cowboys stand in a 
          drunken group hug singing "I Shot the Sheriff".  Kat has 
          another shot glass in hand.
<b>          
</b>          Patrick is showing a scar to an inebriated, enraptured 
          cheerleader.  He looks up at Kat and smiles meets his eyes 
          then looks away.
<b>          
</b><b>          INT. BOGEY'S LIVING ROOM - NIGHT 
</b><b>          
</b>          Bianca stands next to Joey, sipping from her beer
<b>          
</b><b>                                 JOEY
</b>                    So yeah, I've got the Sears catalog 
                    thing going -- and the tube sock gig " 
                    that's gonna be huge.  And then I'm up 
                    for an ad for Queen Harry next week.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 BIANCA
</b>                    Queen Harry?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 JOEY
</b>                    It's a gay cruise line, but I'll be, 
                    like, wearing a uniform and stuff.
<b>          
</b>          Bianca tries to appear impressed, but it's getting 
          difficult.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 BIANCA
</b>                    Neat...
<b>          
</b><b>                                 JOEY
</b>                    My agent says I've got a good shot at 
                    being the Prada guy next year.
<b>          
</b>          He looks over her shoulder and waves at someone.  Bianca 
          takes the opportunity to escape.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 BIANCA
</b>                    I'll be right back.
<b>          
</b><b>          INT. BOGEY'S BATHROOM - NIGHT
</b><b>          
</b>          Bianca shuts the door and leans on it with a sigh.  Chastity 
          applies lip-gloss in the mirror.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 BIANCA
</b>                    He practically proposed when he found 
                    out we had the same dermatologist. I 
                    mean. Dr. Bonchowski is great an all, 
                    but he's not exactly relevant party 
                    conversation.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 CHASTITY 
</b>                    Is he oily or dry?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 BIANCA
</b>                    Combination.  I don't know -- I thought 
                    he'd be different.  More of a 
                    gentleman...
<b>          
</b>          Chastity rolls her eyes
<b>          
</b><b>                                 CHASTITY 
</b>                    Bianca, I don't think the highlights of 
                    dating Joey Dorsey are going to include 
                    door-opening and coat-holding.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 BIANCA
</b>                    Sometimes I wonder if the guys we're 
                    supposed to want to go out with are the 
                    ones we actually want to go out with, 
                    you know?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 CHASTITY 
</b>                    All I know is -- I'd give up my private 
                    line to go out with a guy like Joey.
<b>          
</b>          There's a KNOCK at the door.  Bianca opens it to find a very 
          drunken Kat.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT
</b>                    Bianca, I need to talk to you -- I need 
                    to tell you --
<b>          
</b><b>                                 BIANCA
</b>                           (cutting her off)
                    I really don't think I need any social 
                    advice from you right now.
<b>          
</b>          Bianca grabs Chastity's arm and they exit
<b>          
</b><b>          INT. BOGEY'S KITCHEN - NIGHT - LATER 
</b><b>          
</b>          Patrick tries to remove a shot glass from Kat's hand.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 PATRICK
</b><b>          
</b>          Maybe you should let me have it.
<b>          
</b>          Kat is fierce in her refusal to let go
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT
</b>                    I want another one
<b>          
</b>          Joey enters, grabbing Patrick by the shoulder, distracting 
          him from his task.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 JOEY
</b>                    My man
<b>          
</b>          As Patrick turns, Kat breaks free and dives into the sea of 
          dancing people in the dining room.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 PATRICK 
</b>                           (annoyed)
                    It's about time.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 JOEY 
</b>                    A deal's a deal.
<b>          
</b>          He peels off some bills
<b>          
</b><b>                                 JOEY 
</b>                           (continuing)
                    How'd you do it?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 PATRICK
</b>                    Do what?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 JOEY
</b>                    Get her to act like a human
<b>          
</b>          A very drunken Kat jumps up onto the kitchen island and 
          starts dancing by herself.  She lets loose, hair flying. 
          She's almost burlesque.
<b>          
</b>          Others form a crowd, clapping and cheering her on
<b>          
</b>          She swings her head around BANGING it on a copper pot 
          hanging from the rack above the center island.  She starts 
          to sway, then goes down as Patrick rushes over to catch her.
<b>          
</b>          The others CLAP, thinking this is a wonderful finale. 
          Patrick sets her down on her feet, holding her up
<b>          
</b><b>                                 PATRICK
</b>                    Okay?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT
</b>                    I'm fine. I'm
<b>          
</b>          She tries to push him away, but staggers when she does grabs  
          her again, bracing her.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 PATRICK
</b>                    You're not okay.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT
</b>                    I just need to lie down for awhile
<b>          
</b><b>                                 PATRICK
</b>                    Uh, uh. You lie down and you'll go to 
                    sleep
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT
</b>                    I know, just let me sleep
<b>          
</b><b>                                 PATRICK
</b>                    What if you have a concussion? My dog 
                    went to sleep with a concussion and woke 
                    up a vegetable. Not that I could tell 
                    the difference...
<b>          
</b>          She tries to sit on the floor
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT
</b>                    Okay, I'll just sleep but stay awake, 
                    okay?
<b>          
</b>          He pulls her back to her
<b>          
</b><b>                                 PATRICK
</b>                    C'mon, let's walk
<b>          
</b><b>          INT. BOGEY'S DINING ROOM - NIGHT
</b><b>          
</b>          As Patrick walks Kat through the dining room, Cameron  grabs 
          his arm.
<b>          
</b>          CAMERON We need to talk.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 PATRICK
</b>                    Cameron, I'm a little busy
<b>          
</b><b>                                 CAMERON
</b>                    It's off. The whole thing.
<b>          
</b>          Kat slides down to the floor and Patrick struggles to  get h 
          back on her feet.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 PATRICK
</b>                    What 're you talking about?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 CAMERON
</b>                    She's partial to Joey, not me
<b>          
</b>          Patrick doesn't have time for this.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 PATRICK
</b>                    Cameron -- do you like the girl?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 CAMERON
</b>                    Sure
<b>          
</b><b>                                 PATRICK 
</b>                           (impatient)
                    Then, go get her
<b>          
</b>          Patrick continues walking an oblivious Kat outside. Cameron 
          stands there, unsure how to make use of this advice
<b>          
</b><b>          EXT. BOGEY LOWENSTEIN'S HOUSE - NIGHT 
</b><b>          
</b>          Patrick marches Kat around the yard, holding her up
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT
</b>                    This is so patronizing.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 PATRICK
</b>                    Leave it to you to use big words when 
                    you're shitfaced.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT
</b>                    Why 're you doing this?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 PATRICK
</b>                    I told you
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT
</b>                    You don't care if I die
<b>          
</b><b>                                 PATRICK
</b>                    Sure, I do
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT
</b>                    Why?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 PATRICK
</b>                    Because then I'd have to start taking 
                    out girls who like me.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT
</b>                    Like you could find one
<b>          
</b><b>                                 PATRICK
</b>                    See that?  Who needs affection when 
                    I've got blind hatred?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT
</b>                    Just let me sit down.
<b>          
</b>          He walks her over to the swingset and plops her down in a 
          swing, moving her hands to hang onto the chains.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 PATRICK
</b>                    How's that?
<b>          
</b>          She sits and looks at him for a moment with a smile. Then 
          FALLS over backward.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 PATRICK 
</b>                           (continuing)
                    Jesus.  You're like a weeble
<b>          
</b>          Patrick rushes to right her, then starts pushing her on the 
          swing to keep her entertained.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 PATRICK 
</b>                           (continuing)
                    Why'd you let him get to you?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT
</b>                    Who? 
<b>          
</b><b>                                 PATRICK
</b>                    Dorsey.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT
</b>                    I hate him.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 PATRICK
</b>                    I know.  It'd have to be a pretty big 
                    deal to get you to mainline tequila. You 
                    don't seem like the type.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT
</b>                           (holding up a 
                           drunken head)
                    Hey man. . .  You don ' t think I can 
                    be "cool"?  You don't think I can be 
                    "laid back" like everyone else?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 PATRICK 
</b>                           (slightly 
                           sarcastic)
                    I thought you were above all that
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT
</b>                    You know what they say
<b>          
</b>          He stops the swing
<b>          
</b><b>                                 PATRICK
</b>                    No. What do they say?
<b>          
</b>          Kat is asleep, her head resting against the swing's chains.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 PATRICK 
</b>                           (continuing)
                    Shit!
<b>          
</b>          He drags her to her feet and starts singing loudly.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 PATRICK 
</b>                           (continuing)
                    Jingle Bells! Jingle Belles! Wake up 
                    damn it!
<b>          
</b>          He sits her down on the slide and shakes her like a rag 
          doll.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 PATRICK 
</b>                           (continuing)
                    Kat! Wake up!  
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT
</b>                           (waking)
                    What?
<b>          
</b>          He sighs with relief.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 PATRICK
</b>                    I thought you were...
<b>          
</b>          They share some meaningful eye contact. And then she PUKES 
          on his shoes.
<b>          
</b><b>          INT. BOGEY'S BATHROOM - NIGHT
</b><b>          
</b>          Kat washes her face and grabs a bottle of Scope, taking a 
          big swig.
<b>          
</b>          A KNOCK sounds at the door
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT
</b>                    Go away
<b>          
</b>          Bianca opens the door and looks at her sister with the 
          smuggest of all possible grins.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 BIANCA
</b>                    Dinner taste better on the way out?
<b>          
</b>          Gives her a "don't even start" look.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 BIANCA
</b>                           (continuing)
                    I don't get you.  You act like you're 
                    too good for any of this, and then you 
                    go totally apeshit when you get here.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT
</b>                    You're welcome.
<b>          
</b>          She pushes past her and leaves the bathroom.
<b>          
</b><b>          KAT'S CAR - NIGHT
</b><b>          
</b>          Kat's in the driver's seat.  Patrick leans in and takes the 
          keys out of the ignition.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 PATRICK
</b>                    Cute
<b>          
</b><b>          BOGEY LOWENSTEIN'S HOUSE - NIGHT
</b><b>          
</b>          Kids loiter on the lawn.  Bianca and Chastity walk outside 
          Joey catches up to them.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 JOEY
</b>                    A bunch of us are going to Jaret's 
                    house.  Wanna come?
<b>          
</b>          Chastity looks at Bianca, who wears a pained expression.  
          She looks at her watch.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 BIANCA
</b>                    I have to be home in twenty minutes.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 CHASTITY 
</b>                           (eagerly, to Joey)
                    I don't have to be home 'til two.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 JOEY 
</b>                    Then, c'mon.
                           (to Bianca)
                    Maybe next time --
<b>          
</b>          They head back into the party, leaving an astonished Bianca
<b>          
</b>          Cameron exits the party and stops when he sees Bianca 
          standing alone.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 CAMERON
</b>                           (slightly 
                           accusatory)
                    Have fun tonight?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 BIANCA
</b>                    Tons
<b>          
</b>          He starts to walk on
<b>          
</b><b>                                 BIANCA
</b>                           (continuing)
                    Cameron?
<b>          
</b>          He stops. She gives him a helpless smile.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 BIANCA
</b>                           (continuing)
                    Do you think you could give me a ride 
                    home?
<b>          
</b><b>          INT. KAT'S CAR - NIGHT
</b><b>          
</b>          Patrick drives as Kat sits in the passenger seat, fiddling 
          with the radio dial.  She finds a SONG she's happy with and 
          Patrick quickly changes it.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 PATRICK
</b>                    I'm driving, so I get to pick the 
                    tunes.
<b>          
</b>          She changes it back to her song.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT
</b>                    It's my car.
<b>          
</b>          He changes it back.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 PATRICK
</b>                    And I'm in control of it.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT
</b>                    But it's Gigglepuss - I know you like 
                    them.  I saw you there.
<b>          
</b>          Patrick doesn't have an answer for this, so he let's her 
          listen to her song.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT 
</b>                           (continuing)
                    When you were gone last year -- where 
                    were you?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 PATRICK
</b>                    Busy
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT
</b>                    Were you in jail?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 PATRICK
</b>                    Maybe.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT
</b>                    No, you weren't
<b>          
</b><b>                                 PATRICK
</b>                    Then why'd you ask?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT
</b>                    Why'd you lie?
<b>          
</b>          He doesn't answer, but instead, frowns and turns up the 
          music.  She bobs her head drunkenly.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT 
</b>                           (continuing)
                    I should do this.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 PATRICK
</b>                    Do what?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT
</b>                    This.
<b>          
</b>          She points to the radio
<b>          
</b><b>                                 PATRICK
</b>                    Start a band?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT 
</b>                           (sarcastically)
                    My father wouldn't approve of that that
<b>          
</b><b>                                 PATRICK
</b>                    You don't strike me as the type that 
                    would ask permission.
<b>          
</b>          She turns to look at him.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT
</b>                    Oh, so now you think you know me?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 PATRICK
</b>                    I'm gettin' there
<b>          
</b>          Her voice loses it's venom
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT
</b>                    The only thing people know about me is 
                    that I'm "scary".
<b>          
</b>          He turns to look at her -- she looks anything but scary 
          right now.  He tries to hide his smile.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 PATRICK
</b><b>          
</b>          Yeah -- well, I'm no picnic myself.
<b>          
</b>          They eye each other, sharing a moment of connection, 
          realizing they're both created the same exterior for 
          themselves.
<b>          
</b>          Patrick pulls into her driveway and shuts off the motor.  He 
          looks up at her house.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 PATRICK 
</b>                           (continuing)
                    So what ' s up with your dad?  He a 
                    pain in the ass?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT
</b>                    He just wants me to be someone I'm not.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 PATRICK
</b>                    Who?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT
</b><b>                                 BIANCA
</b><b>          
</b><b>                                 PATRICK
</b>                    No offense, but you're sister is 
                    without.  I know everyone likes her and 
                    all, but ...
<b>          
</b>          Kat stares at him with new admiration.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT
</b>                    You know -- you're not as vile as I 
                    thought you were.
<b>          
</b>          She leans drunkenly toward him.
<b>          
</b>          Their faces grow closer as if they're about to kiss And then 
          Patrick turns away
<b>          
</b><b>                                 PATRICK
</b>                    So, I'll see you in school
<b>          
</b>          Kat stares at him, pissed.  Then gets out of the car, 
          SLAMMING the door shut behind her.
<b>          
</b><b>          CAMERON'S CAR - NIGHT
</b><b>          
</b>          Bianca and Cameron ride in silence.
          He finally breaks it.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 CAMERON
</b>                    I looked for you back at the party, but 
                    you always seemed to be "occupied".
<b>          
</b><b>                                 BIANCA
</b>                           (faux-innocence )
                    I was?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 CAMERON
</b>                    You never wanted to go out with 'me, 
                    did you?
<b>          
</b>          Bianca bites her lip.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 BIANCA
</b>                           (reluctant)
                    Well, no...
<b>          
</b><b>                                 CAMERON
</b>                    Then that's all you had to say.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 BIANCA
</b>                    But
<b>          
</b><b>                                 CAMERON
</b>                    You always been this selfish?
<b>          
</b>          BIANCA thinks a minute
<b>          
</b>          He pulls up in front of the house
<b>          
</b><b>                                 CAMERON
</b>                    Just because you're beautiful, doesn't 
                    mean you can treat people like they 
                    don't matter.
<b>          
</b>          She looks at him for a moment -- then grabs his face and 
          gives him a kiss on the lips.  He draws back in surprise, 
          then kisses her back.  She smiles, then gets out of the car 
          without another word.
<b>          
</b>          Cameron grins and drives away
<b>          
</b><b>                                 CAMERON
</b>                           (continuing)
                    And I'm back in the saddle.
<b>          
</b><b>          INT. ENGLISH CLASS - DAY
</b><b>          
</b>          Kat sits at her desk, burying her face in a book as the 
          others enter.  The White Rastas are first.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 DEREK
</b>                    Kat, my lady, you sway to the rhythm of 
                    my heart.
<b>          
</b>          He grabs her hand and kisses it as she pulls it away.
<b>          
</b>          CLEM, a cowboy, enters, high-fiving Derek with new-found 
          friendliness.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 CLEM
</b>                    Yippe kai-aye, bra. 
                           (to Kat)
                    Dance for me, cowgirl.
<b>          
</b>          He sits next to Derek
<b>          
</b><b>                                 CLEM 
</b>                           (continuing)
                    Okay, now tell me again why he didn't 
                    shoot the deputy?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 DEREK
</b>                    Because the deputy meant him no harm, 
                    my friend.  It was only the sheriff that 
                    was the oppressor.
<b>          
</b>          Joey saunters in and takes his seat.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 JOEY
</b>                    Kat, babe, you were on fire.
<b>          
</b>          Mrs. Blaise enters and sits at her desk
<b>          
</b><b>                                 MRS. BLAISE
</b>                    Well now, did everyone have a good 
                    weekend?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 JOEY 
</b>                    Maybe we should ask Verona
<b>          
</b>          Patrick enters, late, and slinks to his desk.  Kat looks up, 
          down and around, everywhere but at Patrick.
<b>          
</b>          Mrs. Blaise tries to remember what she's supposed to talk 
          about.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 MRS. BLAISE 
</b>                    Okay then.  Well.
                           (beat)
                    Oh, yes
<b>          
</b>          She clears her throat.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 MRS. BLAISE 
</b>                           (continuing)
                    I'd like you all to write your own 
                    version of Shakespeare's Sonnet #141.
<b>          
</b>          Groans.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 MRS. BLAISE 
</b>                           (continuing)
                    Any form you'd like.  Rhyme, no rhyme, 
                    whatever.  I'd like to see you elaborate 
                    on his theme, however. Let's read it 
                    aloud, shall we? Anyone?
<b>          
</b>          The class is frozen in apathy.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 MRS. BLAISE 
</b>                           (continuing)
                    Derek?
<b>          
</b>          Ms. Blaise hands him the sonnet. He shifts uncomfortably in 
          his seat. Then grins.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 DEREK 
</b>                           (reading; in his 
                           Rasta stoner drawl)
                    In faith, I do not love thee with mine 
                    eyes/ For they in thee a thousand errors 
                    note/ But 'tis my heart that loves what 
                    they despise/ Who in despite of view is 
                    pleas 'd to dote.
<b>          
</b>          In the back of the room Clem raises his hand
<b>          
</b><b>                                 CLEM
</b>                    Ms. Blaise, can I get the bathroom 
                    pass?  Damn if Shakespeare don't act as 
                    a laxative on my person.
<b>          
</b><b>          INT. KENNY'S THAI FOOD DINER - DAY 
</b>          Kat and Mandella scrape the peanuts out of their sauce.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 MANDELLA
</b>                    You went to the party?  I thought we 
                    were officially opposed to suburban 
                    social activity.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT
</b>                    I didn't have a choice.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 MANDELLA
</b>                    You didn't have a choice?  Where's Kat 
                    and what have you done with her?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT
</b>                    I did Bianca a favor and it backfired.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 MANDELLA 
</b>                    You didn't
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT
</b>                    I got drunk.  I puked.  I got rejected.  
                    It was big fun.
<b>          
</b>          Patrick enters, walking to the counter to order. He sees Kat 
          and smiles.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 PATRICK
</b>                    Hey
<b>          
</b>          She gathers her things and bolts out the door.  Patrick 
          looks at Mandella, who shrugs and follows Kat.
<b>          
</b>          INT. BIOLOGY CLASS - DAY Cameron and Michael flank Patrick 
          at his lab table
<b>          
</b><b>                                 MICHAEL
</b>                    So you got cozy with she who stings?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 PATRICK
</b>                    No - I've got a sweet-payin' job that 
                    I'm about to lose.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 CAMERON
</b>                    What'd you do to her?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 PATRICK
</b>                    I don ' t know. 
                           (beat)
                    I decided not to nail her when she was 
                    too drunk to remember it.
<b>          
</b>          Michael and Cameron look at each other in realization, then 
          turn back to Patrick.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 CAMERON
</b><b>          
</b>          You realize this puts the whole operation in peril.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 PATRICK
</b><b>          
</b>          No shit.  She won't even look at me
<b>          
</b><b>                                 CAMERON
</b><b>          
</b>          Why can't you just tell her you're sorry?
<b>          
</b>          Patrick's expression says that this is not a possibility. 
          Michael makes a time out sign with his hands.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 MICHAEL
</b>                    I'm on it
<b>          
</b><b>          INT. HALLWAY - DAY
</b><b>          
</b>          Mandella is at her locker.  Drawings of William Shakespeare 
          adorn the door.  She looks at them with a sigh, then ties 
          her silk scarf tightly around her neck, in an attempt to cut 
          off her air supply.
<b>          
</b>          Michael walks up.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 MICHAEL
</b>                    Hey there.  Tired of breathing?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 MANDELLA 
</b>                           (shyly, as she 
                           loosens the scarf)
                    Hi.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 MICHAEL 
</b>                    Cool pictures.  You a fan?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 MANDELLA
</b>                    Yeah.  I guess.
<b>          
</b>          MICHAEL rocks.  Very hip.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 MANDELLA
</b>                    You think?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 MICHAEL 
</b>                    Oh yeah.
<b>          
</b>          She looks at him suspiciously
<b>          
</b><b>                                 MANDELLA
</b>                    Who could refrain that had a heart to 
                    love and in that heart, courage to make 
                    ' B love known?
<b>          
</b>          Michael thinks for a minute.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 MICHAEL 
</b>                    Macbeth, right?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 MANDELLA 
</b>                           (happily stunned)
                    Right.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 MICHAEL 
</b>                    Kat a fan, too?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 MANDELLA 
</b>                           (puzzled)
                    Yeah...
<b>          
</b>          He leans in close to her, conspiratorially
<b>          
</b><b>                                 MICHAEL
</b>                    So, listen... I have this friend
<b>          
</b><b>          EXT. FIELD HOCKEY FIELD - DAY
</b><b>          
</b>          Cameron sits next to Patrick on the bleachers as they watch 
          Kat's practice.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 CAMERON
</b>                    She hates you with the fire of a 
                    thousand suns .  That's a direct quote
<b>          
</b><b>                                 PATRICK
</b>                    She just needs time to cool off I'll 
                    give it a day.
<b>          
</b>          A PUCK flies at them from the field, narrowly missing their 
          heads.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 PATRICK 
</b>                           (continuing)
                    Maybe two.
<b>          
</b>          He looks at Cameron.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 PATRICK 
</b>                           (continuing)
                    You makin' any headway?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 CAMERON
</b>                    She kissed me.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 PATRICK 
</b>                           (eyebrow raised)
                    Where?
<b>          
</b><b>          INT. HALLWAY - DAY
</b><b>          
</b>          Chastity rounds the corner and bends down to get a drink 
          from the water fountain.
<b>          
</b><b>          NEARBY
</b><b>          
</b>          Joey stands talking to two JOCK COHORTS.  The guys don't see 
          her.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 JOEY
</b>                    Don't talk to me about the sweetest 
                    date.  That little halo Bianca is gonna 
                    be prone and proven on prom night.  Six 
                    virgins in a row.
<b>          
</b>          The cohorts chortle Chastity keeps drinking from the 
          fountain
<b>          
</b><b>          EXT. PARKING LOT - DAY 
</b><b>          
</b>          Joey leans against Patrick's Jeep.  Patrick is inside.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 PATRICK
</b>                    I don't know, Dorsey. ..the limo.-the 
                    flowers.  Another hundred for the tux --
<b>          
</b><b>                                 JOEY
</b>                    Enough with the Barbie n' Ken shit. I 
                    know.
<b>          
</b>          He pulls out his wallet and hands Patrick a wad of money
<b>          
</b><b>                                 JOEY 
</b>                           (continuing)
                    Take it
<b>          
</b>          Patrick does, with a smile, as he ROARS out of the parking 
          lot.
<b>          
</b><b>          INT. SCHOOL COURTYARD - DAY 
</b><b>          
</b>          Kat and Mandella deface a prom flyer.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT
</b>                    Can you even imagine?  Who the hell 
                    would go to this a bastion of commercial 
                    excess?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 MANDELLA
</b>                    Well, I guess we're not, since we don't 
                    have dates .
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT
</b>                    Listen to you!  You sound like Betty, 
                    all pissed off because Archie is taking 
                    Veronica.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 MANDELLA 
</b>                    Okay, okay, we won't go.  It's not like 
                    I have a dress anyway
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT
</b>                    You ' re looking at this from the wrong 
                    perspective.  We're making a statement.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 MANDELLA 
</b>                           (unconvinced)
                    Oh, good.  Something new and different 
                    for us.
<b>          
</b><b>          EXT. ARCHERY FIELD - DAY 
</b><b>          
</b>          Mr. Chapin patrols as boys and girls shoot arrows at targets
<b>          
</b>          Joey swaggers up to Bianca, who is taking careful aim. 
          Chastity watches from across the row.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 JOEY 
</b>                    Hey, sweet cheeks.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 BIANCA
</b>                           (not looking at 
                           him)
                    Hi, Joey.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 JOEY
</b>                    You're concentrating awfully hard 
                    considering it's gym class.
<b>          
</b>          She lets the arrow go and turns to look at him.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 JOEY 
</b>                           (continuing)
                    Listen, I want to talk to you about the 
                    prom.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 BIANCA
</b>                    You know the deal.  I can ' t go if Kat 
                    doesn't go --
<b>          
</b>          In the background, a RASTA crumples to the ground.  Hit
          A casualty of Gym.  Mr. Chapin scurries over.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 JOEY
</b>                    Your sister is going.
<b>          
</b>          Bianca looks at him, surprised
<b>          
</b><b>                                 BIANCA
</b>                    Since when?
<b>          
</b>          Joey takes the bow and arrow from Bianca's hand.  He draws 
          back and takes aim.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 JOEY 
</b>                    I'm taking care of it.
<b>          
</b>          Chastity looks over from her spot on the field, but keeps 
          lips firmly shut.
<b>          
</b><b>          INT. BOOK STORE - DAY
</b><b>          
</b>          Kat browses through the feminist lit section
          Patrick appears, through a hole in the books.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 PATRICK
</b>                    Excuse me, have you seen The Feminine 
                    Mystique?  I lost my copy.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT 
</b>                           (frowning)
                    What are you doing here?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 PATRICK
</b>                    I heard there was a poetry reading.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT
</b>                    You 're so --
<b>          
</b><b>                                 PATRICK
</b>                    Pleasant?
<b>          
</b>          Kat stares at him, deadpan.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 PATRICK 
</b>                           (continuing)
                    Wholesome.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT
</b>                    Unwelcome.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 PATRICK
</b>                    Unwelcome?  I guess someone still has 
                    her panties in a twist.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT
</b>                    Don't for one minute think that you had 
                    any effect whatsoever on my panties.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 PATRICK
</b>                    So what did I have an effect on ?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT
</b>                    Other than my upchuck reflex? Nothing.
<b>          
</b>          She pushes past him and heads out the' door
          Pat looks down at the book he's been holding in his hand:  
          Taming of the Shrew.
<b>          
</b><b>          INT. CAFETERIA - DAY
</b><b>          
</b>          Cameron  and Michael flank Patrick as he shovels food into 
          mouth.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 PATRICK
</b>                    You were right. She's still pissed.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 MICHAEL
</b>                    Sweet love, renew thy force!
<b>          
</b><b>                                 PATRICK
</b>                    Man -- don't say shit like that to  me. 
                    People can hear you.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 CAMERON
</b>                           (exasperated)
                    You humiliated the woman! Sacrifice  
                    yourself on the altar of dignity and  
                    even the score.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 MICHAEL
</b>                    Best case scenario, you're back on the 
                    payroll for awhile.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 PATRICK
</b>                    What's the worst?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 CAMERON
</b>                    You get the girl.
<b>          
</b>          Patrick  thinks for a minute
<b>          
</b><b>                                 PATRICK
</b>                    If I go down. I'm takin' her with me
<b>          
</b><b>          INT. ENGLISH CLASS - DAY
</b><b>          
</b>          Kat and the other students sit at their desks, taking a quiz 
          Patrick's seat is conspicuously empty.
<b>          
</b>          From outside, we hear the soft, unsure beginnings of a SONG. 
          Kat looks up, then out the window, HORRIFIED.
<b>          
</b>          The song grows louder until we realize it's The Partridge 
          Family's "I Think I Love You".  Being sung by Patrick.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 PATRICK 
</b><b>                           (0. S.)
</b>                    "This morning, I woke up with this 
                    feeling, I didn't know how to deal with, 
                    and so I just decided to myself--"
<b>          
</b>          The STUDENTS rush to the window. OUTSIDE Patrick stands 
          beneath the window, crooning.
<b>          
</b>          Scurvy is next to him, keeping the beat on the bongos and 
          doing backup vocal s.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 PATRICK
</b>                    "I'd hide it to myself.  And never talk 
                    about it.  And didn't I go and shout it 
                    when you walked into the room --"
<b>          
</b>          He makes quite a sarcastic show of it.
<b>          
</b><b>          IN THE CLASSROOM
</b><b>          
</b>          Mrs. Blaise touches her heart, as if the song is for her. 
          Kat slowly walks to the window, peeking below.
<b>          
</b><b>          OUTSIDE
</b><b>          
</b>          Patrick smiles at her as he finishes the verse with a big 
          finale.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 PATRICK 
</b>                           (continuing)
                    " I think I love you I "
<b>          
</b><b>          INSIDE
</b><b>          
</b>          The other students laugh, clap, cheer, etc. Kat sinks down, 
          mortified, but with a slight smile
<b>          
</b><b>          INT. DETENTION HALL - DAY
</b><b>          
</b>          Patrick and several other miscreants sit quietly, mulling 
          over their misfortune.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 MISCREANT 
</b>                    Nice song, Verona.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 PATRICK
</b>                    Flog me.
<b>          
</b>          He makes the appropriate hand gesture
<b>          
</b>          Mr. Chapin, the gym teacher, sits at the desk in front, 
          ignoring them while he reads a girly weightlifting magazine
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT (0. S.)
</b>                    Excuse me, Mr. Chapin?
<b>          
</b>          Patrick looks up at the sound of her voice and sees Kat 
          standing in the doorway.  She gives him a smile and he perks 
          up a little.
<b>          
</b>          Kat walks into the room and addresses Mr. Chapin again. He 
          turns fully to face her.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT
</b>                    Sir, I'd like to state for the record 
                    that Mr. Verona ' s current 
                    incarceration is unnecessary.  I never 
                    filed a complaint.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 MR. CHAPIN 
</b>                    You didn't have to.  He disrupted a 
                    classroom.
<b>          
</b>          Kat glances over at Patrick and motions her head toward the 
          window.
<b>          
</b>          Patrick shrugs, not knowing what she ' s talking about.
<b>          
</b>          She motions again, and looks toward the window with an 
          expression that says, "Make a break for it, moron."
<b>          
</b>          Kat brings her attention back to Mr. Chapin while Patrick 
          inches out of his seat toward the window.
<b>          
</b>          The other miscreants watch with glee.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT
</b>                    But, Mr. Chapin, I hardly think a 
                    simple serenade warrants a week of 
                    detention.  There are far more hideous 
                    acts than off-key singing being 
                    performed by the student body on a 
                    regular basis.
<b>          
</b>          Patrick is halfway out the window now.  And none too happy 
          about it, considering they're on the second floor.
<b>          
</b>          He eyes a large TREE a few feet away from MR. CHAPIN.  He 
          starts to turn away from Kat
<b>          
</b><b>                                 MR. CHAPIN 
</b>                    You're not gonna change my mind, Kat. 
                    Rules stick.
<b>          
</b>          Kat starts to panic, as Patrick has yet to make the jump for 
          the tree.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT
</b>                    Wait, Mr. Chapin.  There's something 
                    I've always wanted to show you.
<b>          
</b>          He turns back toward her again, the very second before he 
          would have spotted Patrick.
<b>          
</b>          Kat glances toward the window.  Patrick's just about to make 
          the jump.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 MR. CHAPIN 
</b>                    What?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT
</b>                    These.
<b>          
</b>          From behind, we see her lift up her shirt and flash her bra 
          at Mr. Chapin, just as Patrick makes the Jump.
<b>          
</b>          The miscreants cheer, for both the daring' escape and the 
          flash of skin.
<b>          
</b>          Mr. Chapin reddens and tries to be stern.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 MR. CHAPIN 
</b>                    I'm going to let that slide, Katarina.  
                    But if I catch you doing that again, 
                    you'll be in here with the rest of these 
                    guys.
<b>          
</b>          He motions to the remaining detention prisoners, without 
          noticing Patrick's absence.
<b>          
</b>          Kat smiles at him.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT
</b>                    Thank you, Mr. Chapin.
<b>          
</b>          Kat bolts out the door.  Mr. Chapin goes back to his muscle 
          mag, wiping the sweat from his brow.
<b>          
</b><b>          EXT. SCHOOL CAMPUS LAWN
</b><b>          
</b>          Kat arrives at the tree. looking around breathlessly, seeing 
          no one.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT
</b>                    He left!  I sprung the dickhead and he 
                    cruised on me.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 PATRICK 
</b><b>                           (0. S.)
</b>                    Look up, sunshine
<b>          
</b>          She does.  He's still in the tree
<b>          
</b><b>                                 PATRICK
</b>                    I guess I never told you I'm afraid of 
                    heights.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT
</b>                           (smiling)
                    C'mon.  It's not that bad
<b>          
</b><b>                                 PATRICK
</b>                    Try lookin' at it from this angle
<b>          
</b>          She assesses the branch structure
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT
</b>                    Put your right foot there --
<b>          
</b><b>                                 PATRICK
</b>                    Forget it.  I'm stayin'.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT
</b>                    You want me to climb up and show you 
                    how to get down?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 PATRICK
</b>                           (voice trembling)
                    Maybe.
<b>          
</b>          She sighs and dose so.  When she gets to his level, she 
          perches on the branch next to him.  He grins at her.
<b>          
</b>          Then swings himself down with the grace and ease of a 
          monkey, leaving her sitting there, realizing she's been 
          duped.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT
</b>                    You shit!
<b>          
</b>          She climbs down after him
<b>          
</b><b>          EXT. OUTDOOR ARCADE - DAY 
</b><b>          
</b>          Patrick and Kat walk amongst the games
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT
</b>                    The Partridge Family?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 PATRICK
</b>                    I figured it had to be something 
                    ridiculous to win your respect.  And 
                    piss you off.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT
</b>                    Good call.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 PATRICK
</b>                    So how'd you get Chapin to look the 
                    other way?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT
</b>                    I dazzled him with my wit
<b>          
</b>          She stops and picks up a toy gun that SHOOTS water at 
          giggling hyenas and wails on it.  The barker hands her a 
          stuffed animal as her prize.  She hands it to the small KID 
          next to her and they continue walking.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 PATRICK 
</b>                           (sarcastic)
                    A soft side? Who knew?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT
</b>                    Yeah, well, don't let it get out
<b>          
</b><b>                                 PATRICK
</b>                    So what's your excuse?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT
</b>                    Acting the way we do.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 PATRICK
</b>                    Yes
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT
</b>                    I don't like to do what people expect.  
                    Then they expect it all the time and 
                    they get disappointed when you change.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 PATRICK
</b>                    So if you disappoint them from the 
                    start, you're covered?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT
</b>                    Something like that
<b>          
</b><b>                                 PATRICK
</b>                    Then you screwed up
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT
</b>                    How?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 PATRICK
</b>                    You never disappointed me.
<b>          
</b>          She blushes under his gaze
<b>          
</b><b>                                 PATRICK 
</b>                           (continuing)
                    You up for it?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT
</b>                    For. . . ?
<b>          
</b>          He motions to the SIGN for a paint-ball game. She grins 
<b>          SERIES OF SHOTS:
</b><b>          
</b>          The two of them creep through the paint-ball course, 
          stealthy and full of the desire to best the other.
<b>          
</b>          Patrick nails Kat in the back with a big glob of red paint 
          Kat gets him in the chest with a glob of blue.
<b>          
</b>          Patrick returns fire with a big yellow splat to the side of 
          her face.
<b>          
</b>          Kat squirts a green shot to his forehead After a few more 
          shots, they're both covered in paint
<b>          
</b>          She tries to shoot him again, only to find that her gun is 
          empty.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT 
</b>                           (continuing)
                    Damn it!
<b>          
</b>          Patrick grabs her in a victorious tackle.  They land, 
          laughing.
<b>          
</b>          It's hard to even recognize them, as their hair and faces 
          are so smeared with paint globs, but they still manage to 
          find each other's eyes.
<b>          
</b>          He wipes a smear of blue paint away from her lips,  as he 
          goes to kiss her.
<b>          
</b>          NEARBY The kid with the stuffed animal, points
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KID 
</b>                    Look, Mom
<b>          
</b>          His mother hurries him away. What's started as a tackle has 
          turned into a passionate kiss
<b>          
</b><b>          EXT. STRATFORD HOUSE - NIGHT
</b><b>          
</b>          Patrick pulls up in Kat's driveway.  Their paint wardrobe 
          has dried by now and they look like refugees from some 
          strange, yet colorful, war.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT
</b>                    State trooper?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 PATRICK
</b>                    Fallacy.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT
</b>                    The duck?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 PATRICK
</b>                    Hearsay.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT
</b>                    I know the porn career's a lie.
<b>          
</b>          He shuts off the car and turns to her.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 PATRICK
</b>                    Do you?
<b>          
</b>          He kisses her neck.  It tickles.  She laughs.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT
</b>                    Tell me something true.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 PATRICK
</b>                    I hate peas.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT
</b>                    No -- something real.  Something no one 
                    else knows.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 PATRICK 
</b>                           (in-between kisses)
                    You're sweet.  And sexy.  And 
                    completely hot for me.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT
</b>                    What?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 PATRICK
</b>                    No one else knows
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT
</b>                    You're amazingly self-assured. Has 
                    anyone ever told you that?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 PATRICK
</b>                    Go to the prom with me
<b>          
</b>          Kat's smile disappears.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT
</b>                    Is that a request or a command?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 PATRICK
</b>                    You know what I mean
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT
</b>                    No.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 PATRICK
</b>                    No what?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT
</b>                    No, I won't go with you
<b>          
</b><b>                                 PATRICK
</b>                    Why not?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT
</b>                    Because I don't want to. It's a stupid 
                    tradition.
<b>          
</b>          Patrick sits quietly, torn. He can't very well tell her he 
          being paid to take her.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 PATRICK
</b>                    People won't expect you to go...
<b>          
</b>          Kat turns to him, getting angry.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT
</b>                    Why are you doing this?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT
</b>                    All of it -- what's in it for you?
<b>          
</b>          He sits silently, not looking at her, confirming her 
          suspicions.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT 
</b>                           (continuing)
                    Create a little drama?  Start a new 
                    rumor?  What?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 PATRICK
</b>                    So I have to have a motive to be with 
                    you?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT
</b>                    You tell me.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 PATRICK
</b>                    You need therapy.  Has anyone ever told 
                    you that?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT 
</b>                           (quietly)
                    Answer the question, Patrick
<b>          
</b><b>                                 PATRICK 
</b>                           (angry)
                    Nothing!  There's nothing in it for me.  
                    Just the pleasure of your company.
<b>          
</b>          He takes out a cigarette.  She breaks it in half before she 
          SLAMS the car door and walks into the house.
<b>          
</b>          Patrick PEELS out of the driveway. Kat turns at the front 
          door and watches him go
<b>          
</b><b>          EXT. STREET - NIGHT 
</b><b>          
</b>          Patrick pulls up to a stop light and waits for .the green
<b>          
</b>          He glances over at A DRUNKEN HOMELESS GUY in the median, who 
          has decided that he doesn't need to wear pants.
<b>          
</b>          Patrick pulls out his wallet, takes the wad of money Joey 
          gave him and hands it to the homeless guy.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 PATRICK
</b>                    cover that up
<b>          
</b>          The light turns green and Patrick pulls away
<b>          
</b><b>          INT. STRATFORD HOUSE/BATHROOM - NIGHT
</b><b>          
</b>          Kat stands at the sink, scrubbing paint off of her face 
          Bianca TAPS on the open door.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 BIANCA
</b>                    Quick question -- are you going to the 
                    prom?
<b>          
</b>          Kat pushes the door shut with a SLAM
<b>          
</b><b>          INT. STUDY HALL - DAY
</b><b>          
</b>          Cameron and Bianca sit together at their study cubby.  She 
          fingers a strand of her hair.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 BIANCA
</b>                    Then Guillermo says, "If you go any 
                    lighter, you're gonna look like an extra 
                    on 90210."
<b>          
</b><b>                                 CAMERON
</b>                    No...
<b>          
</b>          Bianca stares at him for a moment.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 BIANCA
</b>                    do you listen to this crap?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 CAMERON
</b>                    What crap?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 BIANCA
</b>                    Me.  This endless ...blonde babble. I'm 
                    like, boring myself.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 CAMERON
</b>                    Thank God!  If I had to hear one more 
                    story about your coiffure...
<b>          
</b>          He mock stabs himself with a pencil as she giggles and 
          smacks his hand away.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 CAMERON
</b>                           (continuing)
                    I figured you'd get to the good stuff 
                    eventually.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 BIANCA
</b>                    What good stuff?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 CAMERON
</b>                    The "real you".
<b>          
</b><b>                                 BIANCA
</b>                    Like my fear of wearing pastels?
<b>          
</b>          He looks stricken.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 BIANCA
</b>                           (continuing)
                    I'm kidding. 
                           (beat)
                    You know how sometimes you just become 
                    this "persona"?  And you don't know how 
                    to quit?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 CAMERON
</b>                           (matter of fact)
                    No
<b>          
</b><b>                                 BIANCA
</b>                    Okay -- you're gonna need to learn how 
                    to lie.
<b>          
</b><b>          INT. HALLWAY - DAY
</b><b>          
</b>          Mandella struggles with the lock on her locker.  Finally, it 
          opens.
<b>          
</b>          Hanging inside is a beautiful DRESS, inspired by the 16th 
          Century.  Mandella slowly unpins a NOTE from the dress.
<b>          
</b><b>          INSERT - "0 FAIR ONE.  JOIN ME AT THE PROM.  I WILL BE 
</b><b>          WAITING.  LOVE, WILLIAM S."
</b><b>          
</b>          Mandella's agog.  Trevor walks by and sees her holding the 
          dress.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 TREVOR
</b>                    You're gonna look splendiferous in 
                    that, Mandella.
<b>          
</b>          Mandella looks up sharply, shaken from her reverie.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 TREVOR 
</b>                           (continuing)
                    that's cool to say.
<b>          
</b>          Mandella grins It is
<b>          
</b><b>                                 MANDELLA
</b><b>          
</b><b>          INT. STRATFORD HOUSE/DEN - DAY
</b><b>          
</b>          Sharon is at her computer, Walter at his exercise bike
<b>          
</b><b>                                 SHARON
</b>                    Would you rather be ravished by a 
                    pirate or a British rear admiral?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 WALTER
</b>                    Pirate -- no question.
<b>          
</b>          Bianca enters and walks over to Walter
<b>          
</b><b>                                 BIANCA
</b>                    Daddy, I want to discuss the prom with 
                    you. It's tomorrow night --
<b>          
</b><b>                                 WALTER
</b>                    The prom?  Kat has a date?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 BIANCA
</b>                    No, but
<b>          
</b><b>                                 WALTER
</b>                    It's that hot rod Joey, right? That ' s 
                    who you want me to bend my rules for?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 BIANCA
</b>                    He's not a "hot rod".  Whatever that 
                    is.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 WALTER
</b>                    You're not going unless your sister 
                    goes.  End of story.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 BIANCA
</b>                    Fine.  I see that I'm a prisoner in my 
                    own house.  I'm not a daughter. I'm a 
                    possession!
<b>          
</b>          Bianca storms out.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 WALTER
</b>                           (calling out)
                    You know what happens at proms?
<b>          
</b>          Sharon stops her typing and looks up at Walter
<b>          
</b><b>                                 SHARON
</b>                    They'll dance, they'll kiss, they'll 
                    come home.  Let her go.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 WALTER
</b>                    Kissing?  Is that what you think 
                    happens?  Kissing isn't what keeps me up 
                    to my elbows in placenta all day.
<b>          
</b><b>          INT. BIANCA'S ROOM - NIGHT 
</b><b>          
</b>          Bianca lies on her bed.  MTV blares.  A KNOCK sounds.
<b>          
</b><b>          BIANCA
</b>          Come in.
<b>          
</b>          Kat enters and sits down on the bed, muting the TV.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT 
</b>                           (kindly)
                    Listen, I know you hate having to sit 
                    home because I'm not Susie High School.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 BIANCA
</b>                    Like you care.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT
</b>                    I do care. But I'm a firm believer in 
                    doing something for your own reasons, 
                    not someone else ' s .
<b>          
</b><b>                                 BIANCA
</b>                    I wish I had that luxury. I'm the only 
                    sophomore that got asked to the prom and 
                    I can't go, because you won ' t.
<b>          
</b>          Kat clears her throat
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT
</b>                    Joey never told you we went out, did 
                    he?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 BIANCA
</b>                    What?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT
</b>                    In 9th.  For a month
<b>          
</b><b>                                 BIANCA
</b>                           (confused)
                    Why?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT 
</b>                           (self-mocking)
                    He was, like, a total babe
<b>          
</b><b>                                 BIANCA
</b>                    But you hate Joey
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT
</b>                    Now I do.  Back then, was a different 
                    story.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 BIANCA
</b>                    As in...
<b>          
</b>          Kat takes a deep breath.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT
</b>                    He said everyone was doing it.  So I 
                    did it.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 BIANCA
</b>                    You did what?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT 
</b>                           (continuing on)
                    Just once.  Afterwards, I told him I 
                    didn't want to anymore.  I wasn't ready.  
                    He got pissed.  Then he broke up with 
                    me.
<b>          
</b>          Bianca stares at her, dumbfounded
<b>          
</b><b>                                 BIANCA
</b>                    But
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT
</b>                    After that, I swore I'd never do 
                    anything just because "everyone else" 
                    was doing it.  And I haven't since. 
                    Except for Bogey's party, and my 
                    stunning gastro-intestinal display --
<b>          
</b><b>                                 BIANCA
</b>                           (stunned)
                    Why didn't you tell me?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT
</b>                    I wanted to let you make up your own 
                    mind about him.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 BIANCA
</b>                    No. you didn't!  If you really thought 
                    I could make my own decisions, you 
                    would've let me go out with him instead 
                    of helping Daddy hold me hostage.
<b>          
</b>          Kat stands up slowly
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT
</b>                    That's not
<b>          
</b><b>                                 BIANCA
</b>                    I'm not stupid enough to repeat your 
                    mistakes.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT
</b>                    I guess I thought I was protecting you.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 BIANCA
</b>                    God, you're just like him! Just keep me 
                    locked away in the dark, so I can't 
                    experience anything for myself
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT
</b>                    Not all experiences are good, Bianca. 
                    You can't always trust the people you 
                    want to.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 BIANCA
</b>                    I guess I'll never know, will I?
<b>          
</b>          She rises and holds the door open for Kat, then slams it 
          behind her.
<b>          
</b><b>          EXT. STRATFORD HOUSE - DAY 
</b><b>          
</b>          A sprinkler cruises the lawn.
<b>          
</b><b>          INT. KAT'S ROOM - DAY
</b><b>          
</b>          Kat lies in bed, staring at the ceiling.  She rolls over and 
          picks up the phone.
<b>          
</b><b>          BIANCA'S ROOM - DAY
</b><b>          
</b>          Bianca, still in her pajamas, eats a bowl of cereal while 
          watching "I Love Lucy" reruns.
<b>          
</b>          A KNOCK sounds
<b>          
</b><b>                                 BIANCA
</b>                    Come in.
<b>          
</b>          Kat opens the door and peers in with a grin
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT
</b>                    Feel like shopping?
<b>          
</b>          Bianca looks up, hopefully.
<b>          
</b><b>          LIVING ROOM - NIGHT
</b><b>          
</b>          Walter and Sharon are in front of the television.  Walter 
          has the TV Guide in hand, glasses on.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 WALTER
</b>                    What do you wanna watch?  We've got 
                    crap, crap, crap or crap
<b>          
</b><b>                                 SHARON 
</b>                    Dr. Ruth?
<b>          
</b>          Bianca walks into the living room.  She's wearing a prom 
          dress.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 BIANCA
</b>                    Hi, Mommy.
                           (looking away)
<b>                                 WALTER
</b><b>          
</b>          Walter scurries takes off his glasses and looks from Bianca 
          to Sharon.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 SHARON 
</b>                    Honey, you look beautiful!
<b>          
</b><b>                                 BIANCA
</b>                    You like?  My date should be here in 
                    five.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 WALTER
</b>                    I'm missing something.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 BIANCA
</b>                    I have a date, Daddy.  And he ' s not a 
                    captain of oppression like some men we 
                    know.
<b>          
</b>          The DOORBELL RINGS.  Bianca runs to open it.  There stands 
          CAMERON.  He takes in Bianca's outfit.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 CAMERON
</b>                    Wow
<b>          
</b><b>                                 BIANCA
</b>                    Let's go.
<b>          
</b>          Walter rises.  Sharon pulls him back down on the couch
<b>          
</b><b>                                 SHARON 
</b>                           (to Bianca)
                    Have a great time, honey!
<b>          
</b><b>                                 WALTER
</b>                    But -- who -- what --?
<b>          
</b>          The door SLAMS.  As Sharon looks at Walter with a grin, a 
          blur rushes down the stairs and out the door.  The blur has 
          Kat ' s voice.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT
</b>                    Hey, guys. I'm going to the prom. See 
                    you in a few.
<b>          
</b>          The door SLAMS again.  Walter and Sharon 'are alone
<b>          
</b><b>                                 WALTER
</b>                    What just happened?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 SHARON
</b>                    Your daughters went to the prom.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 WALTER
</b>                    Did I have anything to say about it?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 SHARON 
</b>                    Absolutely not.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 WALTER
</b>                    That ' s what I thought
<b>          
</b>          The DOORBELL RINGS again. Walter opens it to find Joey on 
          the porch, wearing a tux.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 JOEY 
</b>                    I'm here to pick up Bianca.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 WALTER
</b>                    late
<b>          
</b>          He SLAMS the door shut
<b>          
</b><b>          EXT  HOTEL PARKING LOT - NIGHT
</b><b>          
</b>          Kat pulls up in her car, emerging resplendent in an ice 
          gown.
<b>          
</b>          Patrick sits on the steps, waiting.  In a tux.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT
</b>                    How'd you get a tux at the last minute?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 PATRICK
</b>                    It's Scurvy's.  His date got convicted.  
                    Where'd you get the dress?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT
</b>                    It's just something I had.  You know
<b>          
</b><b>                                 PATRICK 
</b>                           (smiling)
                    Oh huh
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT
</b>                    Look, I'm  -- sorry -- that I 
                    questioned your motives.  I was wrong.
<b>          
</b>          Patrick winces slightly, but covers it with a smile
<b>          
</b><b>                                 PATRICK
</b>                    No prob.
<b>          
</b>          He remains seated.  Kat fidgets nervously.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT
</b>                    are you ready?
<b>          
</b>          He rises and stares at her, taking in her image 
          appreciatively.  She blushes and turns away.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT 
</b>                           (continuing)
                    C'mon.  Let's get this over with.
<b>          
</b><b>          INT.  PROM - NIGHT
</b><b>          
</b>          A hotel ballroom transformed into a fantasy world.  Patrick 
          and Kat enter, Kat attempting to deny the romance of it.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT
</b>                    Quite the ostentatious display
<b>          
</b>          A cowboy two-steps by them, dragging some poor girl around
<b>          
</b><b>                                 PATRICK
</b>                    Look, Clem even wore his good boots
<b>          
</b>          Kat steps forward, looking around and spots Cameron and 
          Bianca dancing cheek to cheek.  She smiles.
<b>          
</b><b>          ACROSS THE ROOM
</b><b>          
</b>          Mandella enters nervously, in the long Elizabethan gown, 
          hair piled on top of her head.  She spots Kat and hurries 
          over.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 MANDELLA
</b>                    Have you seen him?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT
</b>                    Who?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 MANDELLA
</b>                    William - he asked me to meet him here.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT
</b>                    Oh, honey -- tell me we haven't' 
                    progressed to full-on hallucinations.
<b>          
</b>          Patrick looks toward the door and taps Kat.  She turns and 
          points Mandella the same way.
<b>          
</b>          Michael - in full Shakespearean dress with a new goatee on 
          his chin - bows in their direction. Mandella's grin couldn't 
          be bigger.
<b>          
</b>          Michael swashbuckles over to them, taking Mandella's hand 
          and leading her onto the dance floor.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 MICHAEL 
</b>                    Mi' lady.
<b>          
</b>                           (to Patrick)
                    Good sir.
<b>          
</b>          Patrick rolls his eyes.
<b>          
</b><b>          INT.  PROM - NIGHT - LATER
</b><b>          
</b>          Kat and Patrick dance to a slow SONG.  Whatever he's 
          whispering into her ear is making her laugh.
<b>          
</b>          Cam and Bianca dance nearby, glowing with happiness. She 
          whispers something in his ear and heads for the ladies' room
<b>          
</b><b>          INT. LADIES ROOM - NIGHT
</b><b>          
</b>          Bianca walks in, positively radiant. Chastity emerges from a 
          stall.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 BIANCA
</b>                           (surprised)
                    What are you doing here?
<b>          
</b>          Chastity checks her hair in the mirror,  aloof.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 CHASTITY 
</b>                    You think you ' re the only sophomore 
                    at the prom?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 BIANCA
</b>                    I did.
<b>          
</b>          Chastity maintains her snooty tone.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 CHASTITY 
</b>                    And just so you know, my date isn't 
                    planning on spending most of the night 
                    in his backseat.
<b>          
</b>          BIANCA What're you talking about?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 CHASTITY 
</b>                    Joey Dorsey is only after one thing - - 
                    your cherry. He practically made a 
                    public announcement.
<b>          
</b>          Appalled, Bianca storms out. Chastity  tries to backpedal.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 CHASTITY 
</b>                           (continuing)
                    I wanted to tell you
<b>          
</b><b>          INT.  PROM - NIGHT
</b><b>          
</b>          Joey, drunk, disorderly and pissed off, walks in with a few 
          stray jocks - also dateless.  He zeroes in on Cameron, now 
          consoling a pissed-off Bianca.
<b>          
</b>          Patrick and Kat continue to slow dance, oblivious to the 
          evil about to erupt.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 PATRICK
</b>                    My grandmother's .
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT
</b>                    What?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 PATRICK
</b>                    That's where I was last year.  She'd 
                    never lived alone -- my grandfather died 
                    -- I stayed with her.  I wasn't in jail, 
                    I don't know Marilyn Manson, and I've 
                    never slept with a Spice Girl.  I spent 
                    a year sitting next to my grandma on the 
                    couch watching Wheel of Fortune.  End of 
                    story.
<b>          
</b>          He takes a breath and looks away, not meeting her eyes. Kat 
          stares at him for a moment and laughs a delighted laugh
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT
</b>                    That ' s completely adorable!
<b>          
</b><b>                                 PATRICK
</b>                    It gets worse -- you still have your 
                    freshman yearbook?
<b>          
</b>          He's interrupted by Joey's hand on his shoulder.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 JOEY
</b>                    What's Bianca doing here with that 
                    cheese dick?  I didn't pay you to let 
                    some little punk ass snake me.
<b>          
</b><b>          ACROSS THE ROOM
</b><b>          
</b>          Michael spots the altercation and dances Mandella over to 
          Cameron and Bianca.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 MICHAEL 
</b>                           (to Cameron)
                    Feces hitting fan.  C'mon
<b>          
</b>          Michael takes Cameron aside, leaving Mandella and Bianca 
          staring after them.
<b>          
</b><b>          ACROSS THE ROOM
</b><b>          
</b>          Michael and Cameron approach Joey as he continues to taunt 
          Patrick who keeps quiet, realizing the weight of this 
          situation.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 MICHAEL 
</b>                           (continuing)
                    Joey, pal, compadre.  Let's take it 
                    easy.
<b>          
</b>          Joey turns toward Michael and Cameron.
<b>          
</b>          JOEY You two are in big trouble
<b>          
</b>          Cameron faces Joey.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 CAMERON
</b>                    Admit it.  You lost.  Be a man.
<b>          
</b>          Joey PUNCHES Cameron in the face, taking him by surprise 
          Cameron holds his nose as it bleeds onto his tux
<b>          
</b>          The various cliques descend angrily and Joey is soon 
          surrounded by seething Cowboys, Coffee Kids and White 
          Rastas.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 DEREK 
</b>                    Very uncool, my brother
<b>          
</b><b>                                 JOEY
</b>                    I'm not your brother, white boy.
<b>          
</b>          The other Rastas GASP, as if stung by the realization that 
          they're white.
<b>          
</b>          Joey turns back to Patrick and Kat.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 JOEY 
</b>                           (continuing)
                    Just so you know -- she'll only spread 
                    her legs once.
<b>          
</b>          Kat looks from Joey to Patrick, not sure what she's hearing. 
          Joey pushes through the crowd but a HAND drags him back. 
          It's Bianca.  And she BELTS the hell out of him
<b>          
</b><b>                                 BIANCA
</b>                    That's for making my date bleed
<b>          
</b>          She BELTS him again
<b>          
</b><b>                                 BIANCA
</b>                           (continuing)
                    That's for my sister.
<b>          
</b>          And AGAIN
<b>          
</b><b>                                 BIANCA
</b>                           (continuing)
                    And that's for me.
<b>          
</b>          Cliques now descend on Joey, punching him wildly.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 COWBOY
</b>                    And that's for the fourth grade, 
                    asshole.
<b>          
</b><b>          HOTEL - NIGHT 
</b><b>          
</b>          KAT runs down the stairs, Patrick chasing her
<b>          
</b><b>                                 PATRICK
</b>                    Wait I...
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT
</b>                    You were paid to take me out!  By -- 
                    the one person I truly hate.  I knew it 
                    was a set-up!
<b>          
</b><b>                                 PATRICK
</b>                    It wasn't like that.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT
</b>                    Really?  What was it like?  A down 
                    payment now, then a bonus for sleeping 
                    with me?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 PATRICK
</b>                    I didn't care about the money.
<b>          
</b>          He catches up to her now
<b>          
</b><b>                                 PATRICK 
</b>                           (continuing)
                    I cared about --
<b>          
</b>          She turns to face him with a countenance more in sorrow than 
          in anger.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT
</b>                    You are so not what I thought you were.
<b>          
</b>          He grabs her and kisses her to shut her up.  After a second, 
          she jerks away and flees down the stairs and out of sight.
<b>          
</b>          Bianca stands at the top of the stairs, watching.  She's 
          never looked more guilty.
<b>          
</b><b>          INT. STRATFORD HOUSE - DAY
</b><b>          
</b>          Kat is sprawled on the couch in sweats, wrapped in a 
          blanket, watching "Sixteen Candles".  When Molly Ringwald 
          leans across the birthday cake to get a kiss from her dream 
          date, Kat changes the channel disgustedly, settling for an 
          infomercial
<b>          
</b>          The phone sits next to her.  Not ringing.  Bianca breezes 
          in, bearing a cup of tea.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 BIANCA
</b>                    Are you sure you don't want to come 
                    with us?  It'll be fun.
<b>          
</b>          Kat takes the tea and gives a weak smile.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT
</b>                    I ' m sure .
<b>          
</b>          Bianca sits down next to her
<b>          
</b><b>                                 BIANCA
</b>                    You looked beautiful last night, you 
                    know.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT
</b>                    So did you
<b>          
</b>          Bianca gives her a squeeze, then jumps up when the DOORBELL 
          rings, opening the door to a waiting Cameron.  He peeks his 
          head inside.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 CAMERON
</b>                    She okay?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 BIANCA
</b>                    I hope so.
<b>          
</b>          The door shuts behind her as Walter enters.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 WALTER
</b>                    Was that your sister?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT
</b>                    Yeah.  She left with some bikers Big 
                    ones.  Full of sperm.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 WALTER
</b>                    Funny.
<b>          
</b>          Walter sits down on the arm of the chair and watches the 
          infomercial with Kat.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 WALTER
</b>                           (continuing)
                    I don't understand the allure of 
                    dehydrated food.  Is this something I 
                    should be hip to?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT
</b>                    No, Daddy.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 WALTER
</b>                           (dreading the 
                           answer)
                    So tell me about this dance. Was it 
                    fun?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT
</b>                    Parts of it.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 WALTER
</b>                    Which parts?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT
</b>                    The part where Bianca beat the hell out 
                    of some guy.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 WALTER
</b>                    Bianca did what?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT
</b>                    What's the matter?  Upset that I rubbed 
                    off on her?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 WALTER
</b>                    No -- impressed.
<b>          
</b>          Kat looks up in surprise.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 WALTER
</b>                           (continuing)
                    You know, fathers don't like to admit 
                    that their daughters are capable of 
                    running their own lives.  It means we've 
                    become spectators.  Bianca still lets me 
                    play a few innings.  You've had me on 
                    the bleachers for years.  When you go to 
                    Sarah Lawrence, I won't even be able to 
                    watch the game.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT 
</b>                           (hopeful)
                    When I go?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 WALTER
</b>                    Oh, Christ.  Don't tell me you've 
                    changed your mind.  I already sent 'em a 
                    check.
<b>          
</b>          Kat reaches over and gives him a hug
<b>          
</b>          INT. CAFETERIA - DAY Kat stands grabs a box of cornflakes 
          from the food line.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 CAMERON (0. S.)
</b>                    Katarina?
<b>          
</b>          She turns and looks at him
<b>          
</b><b>                                 CAMERON
</b>                    I'd like to express my apologies.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT
</b>                    For what?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 CAMERON
</b>                           (looking down)
                    I didn't mean for you to get -- When 
                    Bianca asked me to find you a boyfriend, 
                    I had no idea it would turn out so -- 
                    ugly. I would never have  done anything 
                    to compromise your - - -
<b>          
</b>          He trails off when he realizes she's thrown her food tray 
          against the wall and marched off -- the old "kill, kill" 
          look back in her eyes.
<b>          
</b><b>          INT. HALLWAY - DAY 
</b><b>          
</b>          Kat stomps up the hallway, full of menace
<b>          
</b><b>          CLASSROOM - DAY
</b><b>          
</b>          Bianca's English teacher perches on the edge of a desk, open 
          book in hand.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 TEACHER
</b>                    Who can tell me at what point Lucentio 
                    admits his deception?
<b>          
</b>          The door of the classroom FLIES open and an angry Kat stalks 
          in, yanking Bianca from her chair and dragging her toward 
          the hallway.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT 
</b>                           (to the teacher)
                    Family emergency.
<b>          
</b><b>          HALLWAY - DAY
</b><b>          
</b>          Bianca tries to pull away as Kat drags her by the hair 
          between two rows of lockers.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 BIANCA
</b>                    Let go!
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT
</b>                    You set me up.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 BIANCA
</b>                    I just wanted --
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT
</b>                    What? To completely damage me?  To send 
                    me to therapy forever? What?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 BIANCA
</b>                    No! I just wanted
<b>          
</b>          Miss Perky walks up
<b>          
</b><b>                                 MISS PERKY
</b>                    Ladies?  Shall we take a trip to my 
                    office?
<b>          
</b><b>          INT. MISS PERKY'S OFFICE - DAY
</b><b>          
</b>          Miss Perky stares at both sisters as they sit before her, 
          then focuses on Bianca.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 MISS PERKY
</b>                    So you're the real bitch
<b>          
</b><b>                                 BIANCA
</b>                    Yes!  Okay?  Yes -- I'm the real bitch.  
                    I wanted her to get a boyfriend so I 
                    could.  Apparently, this makes me a 
                    horrible person.  I'm sorry.
<b>          
</b>          She turns to Kat.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 BIANCA
</b>                           (continuing)
                    I swear -- I didn't know about the 
                    money.  I didn't even know Joey was 
                    involved.  I would never intentionally 
                    hurt you, Kat.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 MISS PERKY 
</b>                           (to Kat)
                    Do you care to respond?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT
</b>                    Am I supposed to feel better? Like, 
                    right now?  Or do I have some time to 
                    think about it?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 MISS PERKY 
</b>                    Just smack her now.
<b>          
</b>          Bianca rises, taking Kat by the arm.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 BIANCA
</b>                           (to Miss Perky)
                    We'll be getting back to you.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 MISS PERKY 
</b>                    What, no hug?
<b>          
</b><b>          HALLWAY - DAY 
</b><b>          
</b>          And Bianca leave Miss Perky's office
<b>          
</b><b>                                 BIANCA
</b>                    Is that woman a complete fruit-loop or 
                    is it just me?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT
</b>                    It's just you.
<b>          
</b><b>          ENGLISH CLASS - DAY 
</b><b>          
</b>          Mrs. Blaise faces the class
<b>          
</b><b>                                 MRS. BLAISE
</b>                    All right.  I'm assuming everyone found 
                    time to compose, their poems. Except for 
                    Mr. Dorsey, who's still in ICU.
<b>          
</b>          Nerds in the back high-five each other.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 MRS. BLAISE 
</b>                           (continuing)
                    Would anyone care to read theirs aloud?
<b>          
</b>          No one moves.  Then Kat slowly stands up.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT
</b>                    I'11 go
<b>          
</b>          Patrick looks up.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 MRS. BLAISE 
</b>                    Oh, Lord.
<b>          
</b>          She downs a couple Prozac
<b>          
</b><b>                                 MRS. BLAISE 
</b>                           (continuing)
                    Please proceed.
<b>          
</b>          Kat stands, puts on her glasses, and takes a deep breath 
          before reading from her notebook.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT
</b>                    I hate the way you talk to me/ and the 
                    way you cut your hair/ I hate the way 
                    you drive my car/ I hate it when you 
                    stare.
<b>          
</b>          She pauses, then continues
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT 
</b>                           (continuing)
                    I hate your big dumb combat boots/ and 
                    the way you read my mind/ I hate you so 
                    much it makes me sick/ it even makes me 
                    rhyme.
<b>          
</b>          She takes a deep breath, and looks quickly at Patrick, who 
          stares at the floor.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT 
</b>                           (continuing)
                    I hate the way you're always right/ I 
                    hate it when you lie/ I hate it when you 
                    make me laugh/ even worse when you make 
                    me cry/ I hate it that you're not 
                    around/ and the fact that you didn't 
                    call/ But mostly I hate the way I don ' 
                    t hate you/ not even close, not even a 
                    little bit, not even any at all.
<b>          
</b>          She looks directly at Patrick.  He looks back this time.  
          The look they exchange says everything.
<b>          
</b>          Then she walks out of the room The rest of the class remains 
          in stunned silence.
<b>          
</b><b>          EXT. PARKING LOT - MOMENTS LATER
</b><b>          
</b>          Kat walks to her car alone. When she opens the door, she's 
          greeted with a Fender Stratocaster guitar, reclining in the 
          front seat.
<b>          
</b>          She picks it up slowly, inspecting every detail, then spins 
          around.
<b>          
</b>          Patrick stands there, smiling.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT
</b>                    A Fender Strat. You bought this?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 PATRICK
</b>                    I thought you could use it. When you 
                    start your band.
<b>          
</b>          She doesn't answer, but hides a smile, so he walks  closer.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 PATRICK 
</b>                           (continuing)
                    Besides, I had some extra cash. Some 
                    asshole paid me to take out a really 
                    great girl.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT
</b>                    Is that right?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 PATRICK
</b>                    Yeah, but then I fucked up. I fell for 
                    her.
<b>          
</b>          Blushes and looks down.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 PATRICK 
</b>                           (continuing)
                    You know -- it's not every day you find 
                    a girl who'll flash her tits to get you 
                    out of detention.
<b>          
</b>          Looks up. surprised and embarrassed that he found out
<b>          
</b>          He takes her upturned face as a sign to kiss her and he does 
          She lets him this time.
<b>          
</b>          Then breaks it off
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT
</b>                    You can't just buy me a guitar every 
                    time you screw up, you know.
<b>          
</b>          He grimaces.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 PATRICK
</b>                    I know
<b>          
</b>          He quiets her with another kiss Which she breaks off again.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT
</b>                    And don't just think you can
<b>          
</b>          He kisses her again, not letting her end it this time.
<b>          
</b><b>          STRATFORD HOUSE - SUNSET
</b><b>          
</b>          We hear the sounds of MUSIC and LAUGHTER.
<b>          
</b><b>          STRATFORD HOUSE/BACKYARD - SUNSET
</b><b>          
</b>          Patrick is at the barbecue grill, flipping burgers.  Kat 
          watches.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT
</b>                    Why is my veggie burger the only burnt 
                    object on this grill?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 PATRICK
</b>                    Because I like to torture you.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT
</b>                    Oh, Bianca?  Can you get me my freshman 
                    yearbook?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 PATRICK
</b>                    Don ' t you even dare. . .
<b>          
</b>          ON BIANCA AND CAMERON As they argue on the patio.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 CAMERON
</b>                    They do to!
<b>          
</b><b>                                 BIANCA
</b>                    They do not!
<b>          
</b>          Rises to get the yearbook.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 CAMERON
</b>                    Can someone please tell her that 
                    sunflower seeds come from sunflowers?
<b>          
</b><b>          ON MICHAEL AND MANDELLA
</b><b>          
</b>          Severely making-out in a lawn chair.  She comes up for a 
          breath.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 MANDELLA
</b>                    I can't remember a word of Shakespeare 
                    right now. Isn't that weird?
<b>          
</b>          Michael pulls her back down for another round ON KAT AND 
<b>          PATRICK
</b><b>          
</b>          She tries to keep him from grabbing the yearbook that Bianca 
          now hands her.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT
</b>                    You're freaked over this, aren't you?
<b>          
</b>          Bianca hands her the yearbook
<b>          
</b><b>                                 BIANCA
</b>                    He's more than freaked.  He's froke
<b>          
</b>          Flips to a page.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT
</b>                    I'd like to call your attention to 
                    Patrick Verona's stunning bad-ass look 
                    of 1995 ---
<b>          
</b>          INSERT - A horrifically nerdy freshman year picture Glasses, 
          bad hair, headgear -- the works.
<b>          
</b>          She holds up the picture for all to view. Patrick cringes 
          and throws a handful of pretzels at her.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 BIANCA
</b>                    Patrick -- is that- a.
<b>          
</b><b>                                 KAT
</b>                    Perm?
<b>          
</b><b>                                 PATRICK
</b>                    Ask my attorney.
<b>          
</b>          Kat and Bianca huddle over the picture, giggling --  as we 
          CRANE UP and hear a GIRLY PUNK version of The Partridge 
          Family's "I Think I Love You".
<b>          
</b><b>          FADE OUT:
</b><b>          
</b><b>          END 
</b>
</pre>
</pre><br>
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	<td><h1>10 Things I Hate About You</h1><br><br>
	    <b>Writers</b> : &nbsp;&nbsp;<a href="/writer.php?w=Karen McCullah Lutz" title="Scripts by Karen McCullah Lutz">Karen McCullah Lutz</a>&nbsp;&nbsp;<a href="/writer.php?w=Kirsten Smith" title="Scripts by Kirsten Smith">Kirsten Smith</a>&nbsp;&nbsp;<a href="/writer.php?w=William Shakespeare" title="Scripts by William Shakespeare">William Shakespeare</a><br>
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Which one of Walter's two daughters is older?
Which one of Walter s two daughters is older ?
Kat
Kat
Kat
Kat