text_a: snoots will no doubt rally to its cause , trotting out threadbare standbys like ` masterpiece ' and ` triumph ' and all that malarkey , but rarely does an established filmmaker so ardently waste viewers ' time with a gobbler like this .
text_b: all leather pants & augmented boobs , hawn is hilarious as she tries to resuscitate the fun-loving libertine lost somewhere inside the conservative , handbag-clutching sarandon .