text_a: to imagine the life of harry potter as a martial arts adventure told by a lobotomized woody allen is to have some idea of the fate that lies in store for moviegoers lured to the mediocrity that is kung pow : enter the fist .
text_b: somehow we 're meant to buy that this doting mother would shun her kids , travel to one of the most dangerous parts of the world , don fatigues and become g.i. jane .