BUILDING RESILIENCE

Generic Factors in Resilience

A combination of factors contributes to resilience. Many studies show that the primary factor in resilience is having caring and supportive relationships within and outside the family. Relationships that create love and trust, provide role models and offer encouragement and reassurance help bolster a person’s resilience.

Several additional factors are associated with resilience, including:

The capacity to make realistic plans and take steps to carry them out.

A positive view of yourself and confidence in your strengths and abilities.

Skills in communication and problem solving.

The capacity to manage strong feelings and impulses.

All of these are factors that people can develop in themselves.

Strategies For Building Resilience

Developing resilience is a personal journey. People do not all react the same to traumatic and stressful life events. An approach to building resilience that works for one person might not work for another. People use varying strategies.

Some variation may reflect cultural differences. A person’s culture might have an impact on how he or she communicates feelings and deals with adversity — for example, whether and how a person connects with significant others, including extended family members and community resources. With growing cultural diversity, the public has greater access to a number of different approaches to building resilience.

10 ways to build resilience proven to be useful for different clients in different mixes over the last 10 years of coaching – score each one from 1 to 10 – where 1 is you do not do this through to 10 is where you always do this. This will highlight areas to focus on (low scores)

Make connections.Good relationships with close family members, friends or others are important. Accepting help and support from those who care about you and will listen to you strengthens resilience. Some people find that being active in civic groups, faith-based organisations, or other local groups provides social support and can help with reclaiming hope. Assisting others in their time of need also can benefit the helper.

HIGHLIGHT OR CIRCLE YOUR SCORE = 1 , 2 ,3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9 ,10

Avoid seeing crises as insurmountable problems.You can’t change the fact that highly stressful events happen, but you can change how you interpret and respond to these events. Try looking beyond the present to how future circumstances may be a little better. Note any subtle ways in which you might already feel somewhat better as you deal with difficult situations.

HIGHLIGHT OR CIRCLE YOUR SCORE = 1 , 2 ,3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9 ,10

Accept that change is a part of living.Certain goals may no longer be attainable as a result of adverse situations. Accepting circumstances that cannot be changed can help you focus on circumstances that you can alter.

HIGHLIGHT OR CIRCLE YOUR SCORE = 1 , 2 ,3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9 ,10

Move toward your goals.Develop some realistic goals. Do something regularly — even if it seems like a small accomplishment — that enables you to move toward your goals. Instead of focusing on tasks that seem unachievable, ask yourself, “What’s one thing I know I can accomplish today that helps me move in the direction I want to go?”

HIGHLIGHT OR CIRCLE YOUR SCORE = 1 , 2 ,3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9 ,10

5.Take decisive actions. Act on adverse situations as much as you can. Take decisive actions, rather than detaching completely from problems and stresses and wishing they would just go away.

HIGHLIGHT OR CIRCLE YOUR SCORE = 1 , 2 ,3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9 ,10

6 Look for opportunities for self-discovery. People often learn something about themselves and may find that they have grown in some respect as a result of their struggle with loss. Many people who have experienced tragedies and hardship have reported better relationships, greater sense of strength even while feeling vulnerable, increased sense of self-worth, a more developed spirituality and heightened appreciation for life.

8 Keep things in perspective. Even when facing very painful events, try to consider the stressful situation in a broader context and keep a long-term perspective. Avoid blowing the event out of proportion.

HIGHLIGHT OR CIRCLE YOUR SCORE = 1 , 2 ,3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9 ,10

9 Maintain a hopeful outlook. An optimistic outlook enables you to expect that good things will happen in your life. Try visualising what you want, rather than worrying about what you fear.

HIGHLIGHT OR CIRCLE YOUR SCORE = 1 , 2 ,3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9 ,10

10 Take care of yourself. Pay attention to your own needs and feelings. Engage in activities that you enjoy and find relaxing. Exercise regularly. Taking care of yourself helps to keep your mind and body primed to deal with situations that require resilience.

HIGHLIGHT OR CIRCLE YOUR SCORE = 1 , 2 ,3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9 ,10

Additional ways of strengthening resilience may be helpful. For example, some people write about their deepest thoughts and feelings related to trauma or other stressful events in their life. Meditation and spiritual practices help some people build connections and restore hope.

The key is to identify ways that are likely to work well for you as part of your own personal strategy for fostering resilience.

Some Questions to Ask Yourself

Focusing on past experiences and sources of personal strength can help you learn about what strategies for building resilience might work for you. By exploring answers to the following questions about yourself and your reactions to challenging life events, you may discover how you can respond effectively to difficult situations in your life.

Consider the following:

What kinds of events have been most stressful for me?

How have those events typically affected me?

Have I found it helpful to think of important people in my life when I am distressed?

To whom have I reached out for support in working through a traumatic or stressful experience?

What have I learned about myself and my interactions with others during difficult times?

Has it been helpful for me to assist someone else going through a similar experience?

Have I been able to overcome obstacles, and if so, how?

What has helped make me feel more hopeful about the future?

Staying flexible

Resilience involves maintaining flexibility and balance in your life as you deal with stressful circumstances and traumatic events. This happens in several ways, including:

Letting yourself experience strong emotions, and also realizing when you may need to avoid experiencing them at times in order to continue functioning.

Stepping forward and taking action to deal with your problems and meet the demands of daily living, and also stepping back to rest and reenergize yourself.

Spending time with loved ones to gain support and encouragement, and also nurturing yourself.

Relying on others, and also relying on yourself.

A useful metaphor for resilience – taking a raft trip

Think of resilience as similar to taking a raft trip down a river.

On a river, you may encounter rapids, whirlpools, turns, slow water and shallows. As in life, the changes you experience affect you differently along the way.

In traveling the river, it helps to have knowledge about it and past experience in dealing with it. Your journey should be guided by a plan, a strategy that you consider likely to work well for you.

Perseverance and trust in your ability to work your way around boulders and other obstacles are important.

You can gain courage and insight by successfully navigating your way through white water. Trusted companions who accompany you on the journey can be especially helpful for dealing with rapids, upstream currents and other difficult stretches of the river.

PERSONALISING NEXT STEPS FOR MY SITUATION – moving from generic insights to prioritised, realistic personal action based on reflection and learning

Use your lower scores to develop new steps to build resilience and celebrate your higher scores since you are already navigating the river with some success

PROCESS :

My Prioritised steps to build further resilience

How, When and Where I will put each step into place

Desired outcome

Evidence of outcome – track success

NOW ACCEPTING NEW CLIENTS : Coaching via Skype / Facetime / 1 to 1 meetingsMy career experience includes HR Director and senior executive roles in Barclays plc and Tesco plc leading major transformation and complex change programmes reporting at Board level .I have an MBA, BA and I am a member of the Association for Coaching. I am an accredited coach with over 12 years of private client coaching experience and as an associate consultant with Penna (UK) dealing with career, life,executive and business coaching and counselling. I work in mentoring and coaching partnerships with executives to help achieve gains of importance to them.I help people of all ages, different cultures and job levels to understand more about themselves, their impact on others and how to develop across major dimensions in life.
I respect the integrity and confidentiality of my clients building on their existing great skills and abilities and evolving enhanced self guidance : ” No one in the world was ever you before, with your particular gifts and abilities and possibilities.”Specialties: Holistic / systemic approach to coaching

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Coaching for building resilience

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Just a thought :

Five frogs are sitting on a log.Four decide to jump off. How many are left?

Answer: five. Why? Because there’s a difference between deciding and doing.

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