Exchange Vocabulary

Upset feelings are usually caused by the way we are thinking about the events in our lives, not by the events themselves.

To change your feelings (and your behavior), try the following “Exchange Vocabulary.”

This idea was given to me by a client, who related it to an exchange list for unhealthy foods. When you first try this new way of thinking, it might not feel right. The more you do it, however, the more natural these realistic beliefs will become.

I think you will like the results, but prove it for yourself by giving it a fair try.

Good luck.

© Robert F. Sarmiento, Ph.D.

Used here with permission.

Word Exchange Table



Instead of thinking:

Try thinking: Must Prefer Should Choose To Have To Want Can’t Choose Not To

Ought Had

Better All

Many Always Often Can’t Stand Don’t Like Awful Highly Undesirable Bad

Person Bad

Behavior I am a Failure I Failed At

Statements



Instead of Saying:

Exchange With: I

have to do well. I

want to do well. You

shouldn’t do that. I

prefer you not do that. You

never help me. You

rarely help me. I

can’t stand my job. I

don’t like my job. You

are a bad boy. That behavior is undesirable. I’m

a loser. I

failed at this one task. I

need love. I

want love, but don’t need it.

Emotional Vocabulary Exchange

REBT does not endeavor to eliminate emotions. Quite to the contrary! Emotions are very useful and are part of the human advantage — when appropriate!