Queen bees exist, but they’re far less common than we think. Women aren’t any meaner to women than men are to one another. Women are just expected to be nicer. We stereotype men as aggressive and women as kind. When women violate those stereotypes, we judge them harshly. “A man has to be Joe McCarthy to be called ruthless,” Marlo Thomas once lamented. “All a woman has to do is put you on hold.”

In one experiment, researchers asked people to read about a workplace conflict between two women, two men, or a man and a woman. The conflict was identical, but when the case study was between two women, the participants saw it as more damaging to the relationship and expected them to be more likely to quit. When men argue, it’s a healthy debate. When women argue … meow! It’s a catfight.

Queen bees aren’t a reason for inequality but rather a result of inequality. In the past, structural disadvantages forced women to protect their fragile turf. Some of those disadvantages persist. Research shows that in male-dominated settings, token women are more likely to worry about their standing, so they’re reluctant to advocate for other women. A talented woman presents a threat if there’s only one seat for a woman at the table. A marginally qualified woman poses a different type of threat: “Hiring you will make me look bad.”

This behavior isn’t inherently female. It’s a natural way we react to discrimination when we belong to a nondominant group. Fearing that their group isn’t valued, some members distance themselves from their own kind. They internalize cultural biases and avoid affiliating with groups that are seen as having low status.

As more women advance in the workplace, queen bees will go the way of the fax machine. One survey of high-potential leaders involved in mentoring showed that women were mentored by 73 percent of the women but only 30 percent of the men. And 65 percent of high-potential women who received support paid it forward by mentoring others, compared with only 56 percent of men. There is even evidence that there are concrete benefits to supporting others: Research reveals that when women negotiate on behalf of other women on their team, they are able to boost their own salaries, too.

Yet women can still pay a price when they advocate for other women. In a recent study of more than 300 executives, when men promoted diversity, they received slightly higher performance ratings. They were good guys who cared about breaking down the old boys’ network. When female executives promoted diversity, they were punished with significantly lower performance ratings. They were perceived as nepotistic — trying to advantage their own group.