The Power Gaze

Description

The basic principle of the power gaze is to lock eyes with the other person
and gaze intently into them. Even without words, this can be devastatingly
powerful in making the other person feel that you are superior and should be
believed and obeyed.

Do not stare hard. Do not squint. Do not put on any aggressive expressions.
Just keep an even, steady gaze, directly into their eyes. A trick to use if you
find gazing into another person's eyes too difficult is to look at the bridge of
their nose, between their eyes. They will think you are looking into their eyes,
while in reality you are not. Also try to focus as if you are actually looking
through the face and actually at the back of their head.

Try to reduce your blink rate. This should happen naturally if you are
concentrating on them to the exclusion of anything else (including distracting
thoughts).

Keep your head still. This is very important. A moving head shows anxiety,
while a non-moving head indicates focus and close attention.

A power gaze does not need to last long and locking gaze for a second or two
can have a surprisingly strong effect, although three to five seconds is common.
Holding the gaze for too long can seem like an aggressive stare and so lose its
impressive effect, although you can gaze longer if you are speaking to the other
person at the same time.

When you speak, do so steadily and clearly. Neither mumble nor shout. Say
each word with deliberate intention, as if everything you say is very important.
Yet avoid exaggeration. What you say should sound as it is obviously and
naturally true.

Hold your head still when delivering the power gaze. This is very important
Watch how truly powerful people do this naturally. speaking. Actors are taught
this as a simple way of appearing to be a powerful person.

Neither tilt your head back nor pull your chin down, although you may lower
your head slightly so they can clearly see your eyes. It can help to lean
slightly towards them.

A light frown can be used to show concern, lowering both eyebrows. Slight
raising of eyebrows can indicate questioning, but beware of this showing undue
uncertainty.

Do not exaggerate any of the above.

Example

A child asking for something from an adult fixes them with
an innocent but steady gaze. The adult is surprised when they feel they should
comply.

A person who is the subject of personal attack at work fixes
the aggressor with a power gaze and says that how they have behaved is
unacceptable and that an apology is due. The aggressor looks shocked and mumbles
an apology.

Discussion

In many social cultures,
looking at someone in the eyes for more than a second or so at another person,
especially if you are not talking with them, is often considered to be rude.
This is because a stare is taken as being either
aggressive or
romantic. Aggressive stares are,
basically, assessing a target before an attack, and are typified by wide-open
eyes that take in all the detail. Romantic stares are softer and say 'you are so
wonderful I can't take my eyes off you'.

The power gaze is a relation of the aggressive gaze in that it deliberately
breaks the look-duration rule in a way that shows the person is unafraid of
retaliation (because they are more powerful). The difference is that, rather
than threatening attack, it says 'you are of interest to me' and, often
disconcertingly, something along the lines of 'I can see into your very soul and
know you better than you even know yourself'. This can be like a cat gazing at a
mouse, but also may be more as a parent gazing with concern at a child.

When people are anxious, they often exaggerate movements, which sends a clear
signal of a lack of power. It is a common attribute of power to be certain, so
any expression of anxiety should largely be avoided. With care, some uncertainty
can sometimes help, as
powerful people do not need to hide unimportant weaknesses.

The power gaze is not the same as the male gaze when he looks with desire
upon a woman, mentally undressing and seducing her, although both have elements
of domination. Foucault (1977) talked about the 'inspecting gaze',
relating it to power rather than to gender. A fully dominant gaze looks upon a
person as a thing and is an aspect of
objectification.
Such a gaze provokes revulsion or fear. A power gaze does not work this way as
it invokes more in the way of awe.