



Produced by Chris Curnow and the Online Distributed
Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This file was
produced from images generously made available by The
Internet Archive)







[Illustration: Josh Billings at home.--Preparing his new Lecture.]




  JOSH BILLINGS,

  Hiz Sayings.

  WITH COMIC ILLUSTRATIONS.

  [Illustration]

  NEW YORK:
  _Carleton, Publisher, Madison Square._

  LONDON: S. LOW, SON & CO.
  M DCCC LXX.




  Entered according to Act of Congress, in the year 1865, by
  G. W. CARLETON,

  In the Clerk's Office of the District Court of the Southern District of
  New York




  TO
  DEAKON URIAH BILLINGS,

  (A man ov menny virtues, and sum vices) this book
  iz completely dedikated--and may he hav
  the strength tew stand it.

  Hiz own nephew,
  JOSHUA BILLINGS

Tred litely, dear reader, for the ^way iz ruff. This book waz got up
tew sell, but if it don't prove tew be a sell, I shan't worry about it.

  J. BILLINGS.




CONTENTS.


                                                                    Page.

  I.  JOSH BILLINGS ON THE MULE.                                      13

  II.  JOSH BILLINGS INSURES HIS LIFE.                                15

  III.  REMARKS.                                                      17

  IV.  ANSWERS TO CORRESPONDENTS.                                     19

  V.  A TABLOWS IN 4 ACKS.                                            22

  VI.  FEMALE EDDIKASHUN.                                             25

  VII.  DEPOZETIONS.                                                  28

  VIII.  WAR AND ARMY PHRAZES.                                        31

  IX.  PASHUNCE OV JOB.                                               34

  X.  FRIENDLY LETTER.                                                35

  XI.  AFFURISIMS.                                                    37

  XII.  JOSH BILLINGS ON CATS.                                        40

  XIII.  REMARKS.                                                     43

  XIV.  JOSH BILLINGS ADDRESSES THE BILLINGSVILLE
           SOWING SOSIETY.                                            45

  XV.  NOSHUNS.                                                       47

  XVI.  SAYINS.                                                       51

  XVII.  REMARKS.                                                     53

  XVIII.  THE DEVIL'S PUTTY AND VARNISH.                              56

  XIX.    MANIFEST DESTINY                                            59

  XX.  ANSWERS TO CONTRIBUTORS.                                       62

  XXI.  ON DOGS.                                                      64

  XXII.  SAYINGS OF JOSH BILLINGS.                                    67

  XXIII.  FASHION.                                                    70

  XXIV.  REMARKS.                                                     73

  XXV.  PROVERBIAL PIG.                                               75

  XXVI.  PROVERBS.                                                    77

  XXVII.  ANSWERS TO CORRESPONDENTS.                                  79

  XXVIII.  PROVERBS OF THE BILLINGS FAMILY.                           82

  XXIX.  A FU REMARKS.                                                85

  XXX.  A LEKTURE TEW MALE YUNG MEN ONLY.                             87

  XXXI.  CLEVER FELLOWS.                                              90

  XXXII.  AFFERISIMS.                                                 92

  XXXIII.  ANSWERS TO CONTRIBUTORS.                                   94

  XXXIV.  A SHORT AND VERY AFFEKTING ESSA
  ON MAN.                                                             97

  XXXV.  THE RASE KOARSE.                                            100

  XXXVI.  "GIV THE DEVIL HIZ DUE."                                   106

  XXXVII.  WATCH DOGS.                                               108

  XXXVIII.  ANSWERS TO CONTRIBUTORS.                                 110

  XXXIX.  REMARKS.                                                   113

  XL.  AN ESSA ONTO MUSIK.                                           117

  XLI.  "MAN WAZ MADE TEW MOURN."                                    120

  XLII.  PROVERBS.                                                   122

  XLIII.  KISSING CONSIDERED.                                        124

  XLIV.  FOR A FU MINNITS AMONG THE SPEERITS.                        128

  XLV.  SAYINGS.                                                     131

  XLVI.  JOSH GOES TO LONG BRANCH.                                   133

  XLVII.  TO MY LADY CORRESPONDENTS.                                 137

  XLVIII.  ON WIDDERS.                                               140

  XLIX.  THINGS THAT I DON'T HANKER AFTER
  TO SEE.                                                            143

  L.  ON COURTING.                                                   145

  LI.  REMARKS.                                                      149

  LII.  THE FAULT FINDER.                                            152

  LIII.  PROVERBS.                                                   154

  LIV.  KOLIDING.                                                    156

  LV.  ON SNAIKS AND MUDTURKLES.                                     157

  LVI.  TRUE BILLS.                                                  161

  LVII.  NARRATIF.                                                   163

  LVIII.  PHOTOGRAPHS.                                               167

  LIX.  AFFERISIMS.                                                  169

  LX.  JOSH GITS ORFULLY BIT.                                        172

  LXI.  THINGS THAT SUIT ME.                                         174

  LXII.  MY FIRST GONG.                                              176

  LXIII.  PROVERBS.                                                  178

  LXIV.  DISIPLIN IZ EVRATHING--IN 2 PARTS.                          181

  LXV.  CORRESPONDENTS.                                              183

  LXVI.  JOSH BILLINGS AT SARATOGA SPRINGS.                          186

  LXVII.  NOT ENNY SHANGHI FOR ME.                                   189

  LXVIII.  IS DISPOSING OF THINGS FOR CHARITABLE
  PURPOSES BI "LOT" A SIN.                                           191

  LXIX.  ADVERTIZEMENT.                                              193

 