



Produced by Sandra Brown and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team.






[Illustration]

COBWEBS

FROM

AN EMPTY SKULL.

BY

DOD GRILE.

ILLUSTRATED WITH ENGRAVINGS BY DALZIEL BROTHERS.

[Illustration]

_LONDON AND NEW YORK:_

GEORGE ROUTLEDGE AND SONS

1874




To my friend,

SHERBURNE B. EATON.




CONTENTS

  Fables of Zambri, the Parsee.
  Brief Seasons of Intellectual Dissipation.
  Divers Tales.
         1. The Grateful Bear.
         2. The Setting Sachem.
         3. Feodora.
         4. The Legend of Immortal Truth.
         5. Converting a Prodigal.
         6. Four Jacks and a Knave.
         7. Dr. Deadwood, I Presume.
         8. Nut-Cracking
         9. The Magician's Little Joke
        10. Seafaring.
        11. Tony Rollo's Conclusion.
        12. No Charge for Attendance.
        13. Pernicketty's Fright.
        14. Juniper.
        15. Following the Sea.
        16. A Tale of Spanish Vengeance.
        17. Mrs. Dennison's Head.
        18. A Fowl Witch.
        19. The Civil Service in Florida.
        20. A Tale of the Bosphorus.
        21. John Smith.
        22. Sundered Hearts.
        23. The Early History of Bath.
        24. The Following Dorg.
        25. Snaking.
        26. Maud's Papa.
        27. Jim Beckwourth's Pond.
        28. Stringing a Bear.




PREFACE.


The matter of which this volume is composed appeared originally in the
columns of "FUN," when the wisdom of the Fables and the truth of the
Tales tended to wholesomely diminish the levity of that jocund sheet.
Their publication in a new form would seem to be a fitting occasion to
say something as to their merit.

Homer's "Iliad," it will be remembered, was but imperfectly
appreciated by Homer's contemporaries. Milton's "Paradise Lost" was so
lightly regarded when first written, that the author received but
twenty-five pounds for it. Ben Jonson was for some time blind to the
beauties of Shakespeare, and Shakespeare himself had but small esteem
for his own work.

Appearing each week in "FUN," these Fables and Tales very soon
attracted the notice of the Editor, who was frank enough to say,
afterward, that when he accepted the manuscript he did not quite
perceive the quality of it. The printers, too, into whose hands it
came, have since admitted that for some days they felt very little
interest in it, and could not even make out what it was all about.
When to these evidences I add the confession that at first I did not
myself observe anything extraordinary in my work, I think I need say
no more: the discerning public will note the parallel, and my modesty
be spared the necessity of making an ass of itself.

D.G.




FABLES OF ZAMBRI, THE PARSEE.

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I.


A certain Persian nobleman obtained from a cow gipsy a small oyster.
Holding him up by the beard, he addressed him thus:

"You must try to forgive me for what I am about to do; and you might
as well set about it at once, for you haven't much time. I should
never think of swallowing you if it were not so easy; but opportunity
is the strongest of all temptations. Besides, I am an orphan, and very
hungry."

"Very well," replied the oyster; "it affords me genuine pleasure to
comfort the parentless and the starving. I have already done my best
for our friend here, of whom you purchased me; but although she has an
amiable and accommodating stomach, _we couldn't agree_. For this
trifling incompatibility--would you believe it?--she was about to stew
me! Saviour, benefactor, proceed."

"I think," said the nobleman, rising and laying down the oyster, "I
ought to know something more definite about your antecedents before
succouring you. If you couldn't agree with your mistress, you are
probably no better than you should be."

People who begin doing something from a selfish motive frequently drop
it when they learn that it is a real benevolence.




II.


A rat seeing a cat approaching, and finding no avenue of escape, went
boldly up to her, and said:

"Madam, I have just swallowed a dose of powerful bane, and in
accordance with instructions upon the label, have come out of my hole
to die. Will you kindly direct me to a spot where my corpse will prove
peculiarly offensive?"

"Since you are so ill," replied the cat, "I will myself transport you
to a spot which I think will suit