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  YOU KNOW ME AL

  RING W. LARDNER




  YOU KNOW ME
  AL

  _A Busher's Letters_

  BY

  RING W. LARDNER

  [Illustration]

  NEW YORK
  GEORGE H. DORAN COMPANY




  Copyright, 1916,
  BY GEORGE H. DORAN COMPANY


  PRINTED IN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA
  COPYRIGHT, 1914, BY THE CURTIS PUBLISHING COMPANY




CONTENTS


  CHAPTER                                     PAGE

    I A BUSHER'S LETTERS HOME                   9

   II THE BUSHER COMES BACK                    45

  III THE BUSHER'S HONEYMOON                   83

   IV A NEW BUSHER BREAKS IN                  122

    V THE BUSHER'S KID                        166

   VI THE BUSHER BEATS IT HENCE               208




YOU KNOW ME AL




YOU KNOW ME AL




CHAPTER I

A BUSHER'S LETTERS HOME


  _Terre Haute, Indiana, September 6._

FRIEND AL: Well, Al old pal I suppose you seen in the paper where I
been sold to the White Sox. Believe me Al it comes as a surprise to
me and I bet it did to all you good old pals down home. You could of
knocked me over with a feather when the old man come up to me and says
Jack I've sold you to the Chicago Americans.

I didn't have no idea that anything like that was coming off. For five
minutes I was just dum and couldn't say a word.

He says We aren't getting what you are worth but I want you to go up to
that big league and show those birds that there is a Central League
on the map. He says Go and pitch the ball you been pitching down here
and there won't be nothing to it. He says All you need is the nerve and
Walsh or no one else won't have nothing on you.

So I says I would do the best I could and I thanked him for the
treatment I got in Terre Haute. They always was good to me here
and though I did more than my share I always felt that my work was
appresiated. We are finishing second and I done most of it. I can't
help but be proud of my first year's record in professional baseball
and you know I am not boasting when I say that Al.

Well Al it will seem funny to be up there in the big show when I never
was really in a big city before. But I guess I seen enough of life not
to be scared of the high buildings eh Al?

I will just give them what I got and if they don't like it they can
send me back to the old Central and I will be perfectly satisfied.

I didn't know anybody was looking me over, but one of the boys told me
that Jack Doyle the White Sox scout was down here looking at me when
Grand Rapids was here. I beat them twice in that serious. You know
Grand Rapids never had a chance with me when I was right. I shut them
out in the first game and they got one run in the second on account of
Flynn misjuging that fly ball. Anyway Doyle liked my work and he wired
Comiskey to buy me. Comiskey come back with an offer and they excepted
it. I don't know how much they got but anyway I am sold to the big
league and believe me Al I will make good.

Well Al I will be home in a few days and we will have some of the good
old times. Regards to all the boys and tell them I am still their pal
and not all swelled up over this big league business.

  Your pal,      JACK.


  _Chicago, Illinois, December 14._

Old Pal: Well Al I have not got much to tell you. As you know Comiskey
wrote me that if I was up in Chi this month to drop in and see him. So
I got here Thursday morning and went to his office in the afternoon.
His office is out to the ball park and believe me its some park and
some office.

I went in and asked for Comiskey and a young fellow says He is not here
now but can I do anything for you? I told him who I am and says I had
an engagement to see Comiskey. He says The boss is out of town hunting
and did I have to see him personally?

I says I wanted to see about signing a contract. He told me I could
sign as well with him as Comiskey and he took me into another office.
He says What salary did you think you ought to get? and I says I
wouldn't think of playing ball in the big league for less than three
thousand dollars per annum. He laughed and says You don't want much.
You better stick round town till the boss comes back. So here I am and
it is costing me a dollar a day to stay at the hotel on Cottage Grove
Avenue and that don't include my meals.

I generally eat at some of the cafes round the hotel but I had supper
downtown last night and it cost me fifty-five cents. If Comiskey don't
come back soon I won't have no more money left.

Speaking of money I won't sign no contract unless I get the salary you
and I talked of, three thousand dollars. You know what I was getting in
Terre Haute, a hundred and fifty a month, and I know it's going to cost
me a lot more to live here. I made inquiries round here and find I can
get board and room for eight dollars a week but I will be out of town
half the time and will have to pay for my room when I am away or look
up a new one when I come back. Then I will have to buy cloths to wear
on the road in places like New York. When Comiskey comes back I will
name him three thousand dollars as my lowest figure and I guess he
will come through when he sees I am in ernest. I heard that Walsh was
getting twice as much as that.

The papers says Comiskey will be back here sometime to-morrow. He
has been hunting with the president of the league so he ought to
feel pretty good. But I don't care how he feels. I am going to get a
contract for three thousand and if he don't want to give it to me he
can do the other thing. You know me Al.

  Yours truly,      JACK.


  _Chicago, Illinois, December 16._

DEAR FRIEND AL: Well I will be home in a couple of days now but I
wanted to write you and let you know how I come out with Comiskey. I
signed my contract yesterday afternoon. He is a great old fellow Al
and no wonder everybody likes him. He says Young man will you have
a drink? But I was to smart and wouldn't take nothing. He says You
was with Terre Haute? I says Yes I was. He says Doyle tells me you
were pretty wild. I says Oh no I got good control. He says Well do
you want to sign? I says Yes if I get my figure. He asks What is my
figure and I says three thousand dollars per annum. He says Don't you
want the office furniture too? Then he says I thought you was a young
ball-player and I didn't know you wanted to buy my park.

We kidded each other back and forth like that a while and then he says
You better go out and get the air and come back when you feel better.
I says I feel O.K. now and I want to sign a contract because I have
got to get back to Bedford. Then he calls the secretary and tells him
to make out my contract. He give it to me and it calls for two hundred
and fifty a month. He says You know we always have a city serious here
in the fall where a fellow picks up a good bunch of money. I hadn't
thought of that so I signed up. My yearly salary will be fifteen
hundred dollars besides what the city serious brings me. And that is
only for the first year. I will demand three thousand or four thousand
dollars next year.

I would of started home on the evening train but I ordered a suit of
cloths from a tailor over on Cottage Grove and it won't be done till
to-morrow. It's going to cost me twenty bucks but it ought to last a
long time. Regards to Frank and the bunch.

  Your Pal,      JACK.


  _Paso Robles, California, March 2._

OLD PAL AL: Well Al we been in this little berg now a couple of days
and its bright and warm all the time just like June. Seems funny to
have it so warm this early in March but I guess this California climate
is all they said about it and then some.

It would take me a week to tell you about our trip out here. We came on
a Special Train De Lukes and it was some train. Every place we stopped
there was crowds down to the station to see us go through and all the
people looked me over like I was a actor or something. I guess my hight
and shoulders attracted their attention. Well Al we finally got to
Oakland which is across part of the ocean from Frisco. We will be back
there later on for practice games.

We stayed in Oakland a few hours and then took a train for here. It
was another night in a sleeper and believe me I was tired of sleepers
before we got here. I have