



Produced by Julia Miller, Matthew Wheaton and the Online
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  MARTINE'S

  HAND-BOOK OF ETIQUETTE,

  AND

  GUIDE TO TRUE POLITENESS.


  A COMPLETE MANUAL FOR THOSE WHO DESIRE TO UNDERSTAND THE RULES OF GOOD
  BREEDING, THE CUSTOMS OF GOOD SOCIETY, AND TO AVOID INCORRECT AND
  VULGAR HABITS,


  CONTAINING

  _Clear and Comprehensive Directions for Correct Manners, Dress, and
  Conversation_;

  _Instructions for Good Behavior at Dinner Parties, and the Table, with
  Hints on the Art of Carving and Taking Wine at Table_;

  _Together with the Etiquette of the Ball and Assembly Room, Evening
  Parties_;

  _Deportment in the Street and when Travelling_;

  _And the Usages to be Observed when Visiting or Receiving Calls_.


  TO WHICH IS ADDED

  THE ETIQUETTE OF COURTSHIP, MARRIAGE, DOMESTIC DUTIES, AND FIFTY-SIX
  RULES TO BE OBSERVED IN GENERAL SOCIETY.

  BY ARTHUR MARTINE.

  NEW YORK:
  DICK & FITZGERALD, PUBLISHERS.


  Entered according to Act of Congress, in the year 1866, by

  DICK & FITZGERALD,

  In the Clerk's office of the District Court of the United States for
  the Southern District of New York.




  CONTENTS.


  General Observations                          5

  The Art of Conversation                       8

  General Rules for Conversation               24

  On Dress                                     48

  Introductions                                57

  Letters of Introduction                      61

  Dinner Parties                               63

  Habits at Table                              67

  Wine at Table                                74

  Carving                                      82

  Etiquette of the Ball and Assembly Room      93

  Evening Parties                             104

  Visiting                                    113

  Street Etiquette                            127

  Traveling                                   133

  Marriage                                    136

  Domestic Etiquette and Duties               144

  On General Society                          154




GENERAL OBSERVATIONS.


Politeness has been defined as an "artificial good-nature;" but it would
be better said that _good-nature is natural politeness_. It inspires us
with an unremitting attention, both to please others and to avoid giving
them offence. Its code is a ceremonial, agreed upon and established
among mankind, to give each other external testimonies of friendship or
respect. _Politeness_ and _etiquette_ form a sort of supplement to the
law, which enables society to protect itself against offences which the
_law_ cannot touch. For instance, the law cannot punish a man for
habitually staring at people in an insolent and annoying manner, but
_etiquette_ can banish such an offender from the circles of good
society, and fix upon him the brand of vulgarity. _Etiquette_ consists
in certain forms, ceremonies, and rules which the _principle of
politeness_ establishes and enforces for the regulation of the manners
of men and women in their intercourse with each other.

Many unthinking persons consider the observance of etiquette to be
nonsensical and unfriendly, as consisting of unmeaning forms, practiced
only by the _silly_ and the idle; an opinion which arises from their not
having reflected on the _reasons_ that have led to the establishment of
certain rules indispensable to the well-being of society, and without
which, indeed, it would inevitably fall to pieces, and be destroyed.

The true aim of politeness, is to make those with whom you associate as
well satisfied with themselves as possible. It does not, by any means,
encourage an impudent self-importance in them, but it does whatever it
can to accommodate their feelings and wishes in social intercourse.
Politeness is a sort of social benevolence, which avoids wounding the
pride, or shocking the prejudices of those around you.

The principle of politeness is the same among all nations, but the
ceremonials which etiquette imposes differ according to the taste and
habits of various countries. For instance, many of the minor rules of
etiquette at Paris differ from those at London; and at New York they may
differ from both Paris and London. But still the polite of every country
have about the same manners.

Of the manners and deportment of both ladies and gentlemen, we would
remark that a proper consideration for the welfare and comfort of others
will generally lead to a greater propriety of demeanor than any rules
which the most rigid master