



Produced by David Starner, Clare Elliott, Joe Cooper,
Close@Hand and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team
at http://www.pgdp.net (This book was produced from scanned
images of public domain material from the Google Print
project.)









FACTS IN JINGLES

[Illustration: Winifred, age twelve, with her trained bird, Okikusan]




FACTS IN JINGLES

_By_

  WINIFRED SACKVILLE STONER, JR.

  (Written Between the Ages of Five and Twelve)

  [Illustration]

  INDIANAPOLIS
  THE BOBBS-MERRILL COMPANY
  PUBLISHERS
  COPYRIGHT 1915
  THE BOBBS-MERRILL COMPANY

  PRINTED IN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA

  PRESS OF
  BRAUNWORTH & CO.
  BOOK MANUFACTURERS
  BROOKLYN, N. Y.




  Dedicated

  to

  Miss Katharine O'Shea

  of

  Madison, Wisconsin




INTRODUCTION


These jingles were written by a child for children. The young author
does not expect that any one will imagine they were intended to be
a contribution to poetry or literature. They will be of interest to
adults principally as an illustration of the way a child's mind views
some of the every-day situations of life. Grown people will also be
interested to see how easily a young child can put facts into the
jingle form when freedom of expression is acquired early.

Those who have read Mrs. Stoner's _Natural Education_ will recall
that Winifred learned almost as a babe to use the typewriter. This
helped her in her spelling and composition, so that she gained ease
and freedom in expressing herself on any topic that she understood.
She wrote out everything she learned so that she might the better get
a grasp of it and remember it. And she found that when some kinds of
facts were put together in a jingle they could be fixed with less
effort and retained more securely than if they were learned in the
ordinary way--by rote and without any method of organization.

Rhyme and rhythm seem to furnish to the young mind an easy and
effective method of relating and expressing facts ordinarily
dissociated from anything of interest to a child. As long as such
facts are presented to the young in home and school, the jingle will
prove of service to teachers and parents, and of interest and value to
children. In addition, some of these jingles will delight the young
merely because of their rhythmical quality, while others will afford
amusement because of the humorous interpretation they put on many of
the events that are daily experienced by children everywhere.

Any adult who may read these jingles should be informed that many of
them were written when Winifred was hardly more than a babe. And all
of them were dashed off without effort to achieve poetic merit. One
characteristic that makes them of interest is their spontaneity. As
an illustration of the readiness with which Winifred can construct a
jingle, I may say that when she was twelve years of age, I happened one
day to read her the following essay on _Bones_ written by a pupil:

"Bones is the framework of the body. If I had no bones in me, I should
not have so much shape as I have now. If I had no bones my brain,
heart, lungs, and larger blood vessels would be lying around in me, and
might get hurt. If my bones were burned I should be brittle, because it
would take the animal out of me. If I was soaked in acid I should be
limber. I'd rather be soaked than burned. Some of my bones don't grow
close to my others snug like the branches to the trunk of a tree. The
reason why they don't grow that way is because they have joints. Joints
is good things to have in bones. All my bones put together make a
skeleton. Some animals have their skeleton on the outside. I am glad I
am not them animals, for my skeleton like it is on the chart would not
look very well on my outside."

I asked her if she would put the essay into a rhyme. She ran off to
her typewriter, and in twelve minutes came back with the jingle, _I'm
glad I'm not an Exo_. It is published exactly as she handed it to me,
without change in content or in form.

Mrs. Stoner's _Natural Education_ describes in detail how Winifred has
been educated up to this point in her career. This book of jingles
presents some concrete evidence of the results of Mrs. Stoner's method
of teaching freedom of expression, and her many devices for assisting
a child to retain more or less formal facts in history, the sciences,
and so on. The book will prove of interest and help to children, and
parents and teachers should be able to get suggestions and practical
teaching devices from it.

  M. V. O'SHEA.

  Madison, Wisconsin.




Ever since I was five years old my dear friends, the fairies, have
whispered jingles to me as keys to Memory's storehouse. As these
jingles have been of great assistance in my studies, I have asked my
good publishers to put them in book form with the hope that they may
help, or at least amuse, many girls and boys.

WINIFRED SACKVILLE STONER, JR.




CONTENTS


                                                           PAGE

  Adam's Funny Bone                                         238

  After the Fourth Was Over                                  57

  All Dentists Go to Heaven                                  47

  All the World Cries                                        93

  Answers, Not Questions, Cause Trouble                      22

  Appeal to the Fairies, An                                 187

  Are All Angels Blonds?                                    304

  Armadillo, The                                            199

  At Easter                                                 242

  Autos Change Good Luck                                     85

  Autumn, Queen of Year                                      88

  Baa! Baa! Black Sheep                                     206

  Bach, Johann Sebastian                                    269

  Bachelor's Opinion of a Baby, A                           156

  Barber, Barber, Shave a Pig                               226

  Beethoven, Ludwig von                                     265

  Berlioz, Louis Hector                                     293

  Best Month of All, The                                    194

  Beware of Stings                                          181

  Beware of the Wet                                         144

  Birthday Wish, A                                          205

  B. O. K. Fairy, The                                       185

  Bony Song, A                                               17

  Book Mark, A                                              200

  Bo-Peep                                                   209

  Boy Who Was Hero and Villain, A                            84

  Boy's Complaint, A                                         31

  Boy's Description of a Goat, A                             87

  Brahms, Johannes                                          267

  Brick Versus Watch                                        148

  Bridget Makes Split Pea Soup                                2

  Brunettes All the Rage                                    121

  Butcher, Baker, Candle-Stick Maker                        221

  Careful Mother, The                                         3

  Cat Extincted the Canary, The                              16

  Cats a Kissin' (Catechism)                                122

  Children's Prayer, The                                    255

  Chopin, Frédéric François                                 261

  Christmas Wish for All My Friends,                         40

  Could Only Ask Questions                                  126

  Cultus Mitlite                                            127

  Curly Locks                                               230

  Czerny, Karl                                              303

  Dans Ma Cuisine                                           166

  Dans Ma Maison                                            163

  Dans Mon Joli Jardin                                      165

  Days of Chivalry, The                                     142

  Dickory Dock                                              226

  Doctor Foster                                             217

  Dux Femina Via                                            203

  Easter Greeting                                            65

  Easter Greeting to My Friend                               90

  Eatable Alphabet, An                                      241

  England's Kings in Rhyme                                  115

  Equal Franchise Valentine, An                             180

  Esperanto Grammar                                         198

  Esperanto Poem Plain to All, An                           154

  Fairy Centaphrase, The                                    254

  First Forks, The                                          110

  First Match, The                                           97

  First Metal Plow, The                                     106

  Five Best Fairies, The                                    177

  Five-Foot Shelf of Summer Books, A                         15

  Five Good Giants                                          200

  Five Little Pigs                                          231

  Franz, Robert                                             259

  Frog Who Would A-Wooing Go, A                             211

  Furs Lined with Kittens                                    12

  German Jinglette, A                                       236

  Ghost Story, A                                            153

  Giant Arithmos, The                                        67

  Girls' Alphabet, The                                      243

  Glorious O, The                                           237

  Glück, Christopher Willibald                              292

  Good B's and Bad T's                                       30

  Good-Bye to Teddy Bears                                    99

  Good People Everywhere                                    305

  Good Weather Assured                                       92

  Goosey, Goosey Gander                                     212

  Gottschalk, Louis Moreau                                  298

  Grammar in a Nutshell                                     183

  Grandma Turkey's Lament                                    21

  Grandpa's Head Turns Frew His Hair                          5

  Great A, Little A                                         234

  Great Surprise, A                                           1

  Greatest Kings of Music Land, The                         262

  Greedy Imps                                               157

  Greetings to Norfolk                                      158

  Grouch-Bug, The                                            33

  Growing Things                                              4

  Handel, George Frederick                                  263

  Hark! Hark! the Dogs Do Bark                              228

  Haydn, Franz Joseph                                       271

  Hens                                                       36

  Her Turn Coming                                           128

  Hope                                                       94

  Hot Cross Buns                                            230

  How Mother Learned Natural History                        141

  How Simple Simon Became Wise                              184

  How to Be Happy                                           136

  Humpty Dumpty                                             231

  In India                                                  189

  Information by Phone                                      123

  I'm Glad I'm Not an Exo                                   245

  I Prefer a Lazy Bee                                       169

  It Takes a Cigar a Long Time to Wear Out                  105

  Jack and Jill                                             226

  Jack, Be Nimble                                           217

  Jack Spratt                                          214, 229

  Job Smarter Than Modern Babies                             80

  Johnnie's Conundrum                                       130

  Joke on Onklo Karlo, A                                      8

  Kind Hearts                                                35

  King Teddy the Fearless                                    32

  King's Questions, The                                     111

  Kitten Gone to Waste, A                                    78

  Kitty, Where Have You Been?                               213

  Koppa After Pi                                            148

  Last of Mary Had a Little Lamb                             28

  Lazy White Men Sit While Flying Through the Air           104

  Learning the French Alphabet                              161

  Legend of Westminster Abbey                               140

  Legends of the Coronation Stone                           107

  Let Ma Vote                                               173

  Let the Bumble Be                                          20

  Liszt, Franz                                              288

  Little Boy and the Little Sparrow, The                    223

  Little Boy Blue                                           215

  Little Girl with the Little Curl, The                     236

  Little Man with the Little Gun, The                       209

  Little Mary with Her Canary                               220

  Little Miss Muffet                                        212

  Little Tommy Tucker                                       228

  Mabel at the Butcher Shop                                  48

  Man in the Moon, The                                      233

  Marjory Daw                                               233

  Mary Had a Lamb Song                                      234

  Mary Had a Little Lamb                                    235

  Mary, Quite Contrary                                      220

  Memory Jogger for Your Desk, A                            249

  Mendelssohn, Jakob Ludwig Felix                           296

  Midsummer Joys                                             56

  Miller on the Dee, The                                    206

  Mother Hubbard                                            215

  Mother Wotsat, of Wanamakerland                           252

  Mozart, Wolfgang Amadeus                                  273

  Much Learning Saves Ignatius                               13

  Multiplication Is Vexation                                216

  Museum's Fat Lady, The                                     10

  Music                                                     258

  My Black Hen                                              234

  My Christmas Wish                                          86

  My Country                                                156

  My Easter Wish                                             54

  My Impression of Newspaper Men                            151

  My Son John                                               225

  Nature's Music                                            260

  'Neath Niagara Falls                                      182

  Nervous Jelly                                              82

  New Baby, The                                              98

  New Year Babe, The                                         81

  Nissen the Santa Claus of Norway                           37

  North Pole Jingle                                         240

  Ode to a Faithful Dog Dubbed Pickles, An                  256

  Oh, Pretty Little Girl, Where Are You Going?              232

  Old Garden, An                                            171

  Old King Cole                                             225

  Old Mother Goose                                          227

  Old-Time and a Modern Song, An                            139

  Old Woman in a Shoe, The                                  222

  Old Woman, Mother Goose, The                              207

  On Midsummer Night                                        143

  On Thanksgiving                                            51

  One, Two, Three, Four, Five                               236

  Only Naughty Children See Spooks on Hallowe'en             53

  Oriental Metaphor                                         159

  Our Presidents                                            124

  Papa's Sainted Leg                                        186

  Past and Present Eve, The                                 149

  Patti Cake                                                224

  Patti Lou at the Zoo                                       11

  Peace Forerunner--"Love Mankind"                          257

  Pearl of Lakes, The                                         9

  Peas Pudding Hot                                          219

  Peter Pumpkin Eater                                       216

  Peter Visits an Episcopal Church                          152

  Pets' Christmas Carol, The                                 52

  Pickerino--The Cook's Fate, A                             106

  Plea to Editors, A                                        196

  Plea to Knights and Ladies Fair, A                        194

  Please, Grandpa, Croak                                    108

  Pretty Little Maid with Pretty Little Bonnet              235

  Pretty Maid, Where Are You Going?                         210

  Pride                                                      79

  Pure-Blooded Pup, The                                      69

  Pussy in the Well                                         218

  Queen of Flowerhood                                       239

  Rain, Rain, Go Away                                       221

  Revenge on an Aching Tooth                                137

  Riddle, A                                                  96

  Rock-a-Bye, Baby                                          213

  Roosevelt Compliments Mama Lion                            23

  Rubinstein, Anton                                         289

  Santa's Reindeer in the Sky                                41

  Saying His Speech                                         195

  Scarlatti, Alessandro                                     302

  Schubert, Franz Peter                                     277

  Schumann, Robert                                          279

  Seeking Bargains                                          126

  Simple Simon                                              214

  Sing a Song of Sixpence                                   222

  Sing Joyfully on Your Way                                 218

  Six in the Cemetery                                       125

  Six Little Mice Sat Down to Spin                          208

  Skillet in Society, A                                      66

  Sleepers in Westminster Abbey                             100

  Snail, Snail, Come Out of Your Hole                       223

  Song of Home, A                                           175

  Song of the Woods, A                                      147

  Soul of a Miser, The                                      160

  Spelling Wrong "Rong"                                     172

  Strauss, Johann                                           300

  Susan Rewarded for Twenty Years' Service                    6

  Taffy Was a Thief                                         229

  Take That Gum from Your Mouth and Put Your Feet Right In   91

  Tasmania                                                  197

  Tersest Bathing Suit, The                                  89

  Thanksgiving in 20,000 A. D.                               49

  Then and Now                                              176

  Three Blind Mice                                          224

  Three Cheers for Typewriters!                             247

  Three Wise Men of Gotham                                  208

  Time of His Life, The                                      25

  Titania's Toyland                                         253

  Titanic's Noble Band                                      131

  To Friends Who Remembered Me When I Was Ill               158

  To Market                                                 232

  To Modern Knights                                         145

  To My Leap Year Valentine                                 244

  To My Valentine                                            58

  To Save Him from a Whipping                               109

  Tom the Piper's Son                                       219

  Too Many Dolls                                             27

  Too Ticklish to Count His Ribs                            104

  Torpid Liver 'Sploded Him, A                              160

  Twilight                                                   14

  Uncle Sam's Pittsburgh Arsenal                            201

  Un Petit Barbare Pou                                      167

  Verdi, Giuseppe                                           281

  Wagner, Wilhelm Richard                                   275

  Weber, Karl Maria Friedrich Ernst von                     295

  Wee Willie's First Hair Cut                                24

  When Will We Be Old Enough?                               129

  When Women Vote                                           170

  Whingwang Sonnet of an Easter Bonnet, A                    55

  Who Is Mother Goose                                       233

  Wilmington's Good Fairy                                   251

  Wilmington's Santa Claus                                  250

  Winds of March, The                                       155

  Winking Star, The                                          26

  Wise Replies                                              168

  Woes Caused by Whooping Bugs                               29

  Wonderland of Matematiko, The                              59

  Wondrous Growing Baby, A                                    7

  World's a Mirror, The                                     248

  Young Mail Carrier, The                                    95




FACTS IN JINGLES




A GREAT SURPRISE


  On the nineteenth day of August, in the year of nineteen two,
  Most kind and gracious Madame Stork right over Norfolk flew,
  And brought to my dear mother there a wonderful surprise,
  A little red-brown baby girl with large blackberry eyes.
  Now mother, she had asked the stork to bring her greatest joy
  And drop a bundle at her door containing a wee boy;
  But when the stork made a mistake and brought just little me,
  She thought that I was better far than any boy could be,
  And wrapped me in the blanket which she'd planned for my wee brother
  And which my dear "Ma Mie" had knit to help my busy mother.
  She changed the name of Lionel to little Winifred,
  And all the things for brother planned, she gave to me instead.




BRIDGET MAKES SPLIT PEA SOUP


  "Bridget," asked the mistress, "whatever is the matter,
  Nothing ready for our lunch excepting pancake batter?
  Why, I invited guests to come for lunch at half-past one,
  And they've been waiting all this time and yet there's nothing done."

  "Well, mum," replied Miss Bridget, "the fault is all your own,
  For split pea soup you ordered and, workin' here alone,
  It's took me just two hours while tryin' just to split
  Three hundred of these blarsted peas, which give me most a fit,
  And as there's still three hundred, 'twill take two hours more
  To split the pesky little things, shure as me name's MAHORE!"




THE CAREFUL MOTHER


  Now come, dear John, and go to school,
  I hope you know your every rule.
  No, do not kiss me, Johnnie dear,
  My mouth is full of germs I fear.

  Love, as you walk along the street,
  You must not pat each dog you meet.
  Alas! you naughty, careless lad,
  You've touched the cat, how sad, how sad!
  For I must sterilize again
  Your hands and face and books and pen.

  Now, take each antiseptic glove
  And quickly into each one shove
  Your fingers which are prone to be
  From dreaded germs--ah, never free.

  Here's "SURE-GERM-KILLER" in a case.
  Put some at once on hands and face,
  For, oh, I fear those dreadful GERMS
  May some day make you food for worms!




GROWING THINGS


  My dearest friend, John M--, and I, at least our mothers say,
  Are growing just as weeds will grow in April and in May.
  John's legs they grow so very fast his pants they leave his knees,
  His jackets get so very tight they burst if he dare sneeze.
  His head grows large and larger, I suppose because of brains,
  So when he wears his last year's cap, it causes lots of pains.

  And I am such a growing thing, my dresses they won't last
  More than a month before the spot marked by my knees is passed.
  And when I had the measles and had to stay in bed,
  You scarcely can believe me, but I grew from foot to head.

  So everyone who saw me said that I had grown an inch,
  And when I tried to wear my shoes, oh, my, but they did pinch!
  But generally my shoes don't last until they are too small,
  Because I kick the toes right out while playing at football.




GRANDPA'S HEAD TUMS FREW HIS HAIR


  When Margaret was a youngster scarcely two years old,
  At climbing chairs and tables this lass was very bold.
  And one day when her grandpa was seated in his chair,
  She climbed upon the rounded rungs as if they were a stair,
  And looking at her grandpa's head, which fast was growing bald,
  She cried out, "Dearest Grandpa, one time you must hab failed,
  Or maybe you've been naughty and dot an awful scare,
  Which taused the top ob yu's round head to tum right frew de hair."




SUSAN REWARDED FOR TWENTY YEARS' SERVICE


  Professor Theophilus Socrates Snook
  One day paid a visit to Susan, his cook,
  And, beaming upon her with kindliest look,
  Said, "Susan, my dear, please gaze at this book.
  In here you may learn of elephantiasis,
  And also the hookworm, uncinariasis;
  Of craw-craw and chiggers, of ainhum and sprue,
  And all that I've written about them is true.
  Now, Susan, to me you've been faithful, my dear,
  In keeping my house for many a year;
  For years nearly twenty you've been now with me,
  Cooking my victuals just as they should be,
  And truly I think a reward I should pay
  To one who has labored from day unto day.
  So when I discovered a wondrous new germ,
  Which causes young children to wiggle and squirm,
  I thought that this bug for you I would name
  And bring you great glory and honor and fame.
  It's a wondrous discovery, this ungomariasis,
  And so we will call it the SUSANBONPIASIS."
  "No, thank you, your honor," said Susan Bawben,
  "I had the bugs once and don't want 'em again.
  And if you onsist upon callin' me BUGS,
  I'll lave you alone wid your books and your drugs."




A WONDROUS GROWING BABY


  FIRST LADY:

  "Just now I heard a story, which sister says is true,
  About a lovely baby which grew and grew and grew,
  Because its mother fed it on full gallons of good milk,
  So that it gained ten pounds a day and looked as fine as silk."

  SECOND LADY:

  "I don't believe the story, such diet it would kill
  A poor wee darling baby--at least, 'twould make it ill."

  FIRST LADY:

  "'Tis true, most little babies would have burst and died--
  But not so with this baby--'Ma Elephant's fond pride.'"




A JOKE ON ONKLO KARLO


  Onklo Karlo, he's a duck, and I love him dearly,
  'Cause he loves all little girls, amusing them so queerly
  By catching in his mouth the nuts which he hurls in the air,
  And making paper cones to stand just almost anywhere;
  Or holding apples on a pole stuck right upon his nose,
  And balancing the little girls just straight upon his toes.

  He always has good candy--the kind I love to eat--
  Made of delicious goodies that taste so nice and sweet.
  He tells most wondrous stories of sky and land and sea,
  And never seems to weary of pleasing little me;
  And jokes, he knows so many his store will ne'er give out,
  They make me laugh and giggle and sometimes even shout;
  But here's a joke on Onklo--I wonder if he knows
  That nails are hidden in his socks--of course, they're on his toes.




THE PEARL OF LAKES


  Of all good Uncle Sam's great lakes,
    LAKE ERIE is the best;
  She is a pearl among all lakes
    Of north, south, east or west
  Her waters on a pleasant day
    Dance gaily in the sun,
  And ever seem to smile at me
    And say, "Come, have some fun
  Within my cool refreshing spray
    Of waters bright and clear,
  Oh, little girl, come right away,
    And never have a fear!
  There are no dread sea monsters here
    Within my wide domain,
  Where only best of 'Finny-kind'
    Are e'er allowed to reign."

  My little friend, sweet Jean, and I
    Say, "Thank you, gracious Lake,
  Well don our bathing suits and caps
    And then a plunge will take
  Right into your fresh cooling fount,
    And then we'll be so clean
  That not a soul would ever think
    That PITTSBURGH we had seen."




THE MUSEUM'S FAT LADY


  TEACHER TO TOMMY:

  "Now, Tommy, please answer, and tell me at once,
  Who is your father, you silly young dunce?"

  TOMMY TO TEACHER:

  Said Tommy, with tears gushing forth from his eyes,
  "I know you're a lady w'at's most wondrous wise,
  But I hates like the mischief to tell on poor Pa,
  'Cause he's always good to both me and Ma,
  But he is the fat lady w'at you may see
  By goin' to Barnum's and payin' a fee."




PATTI LOU AT THE ZOO


  My little Cousin Patti Lou
  One day went to the Highland Zoo,
  And there she saw an old ZEBU
  Who looked at her and said, "Moo--moo!"
  And ended with an awful "Oooooooooh!"

  She saw also a funny GNU,
  And said to him, "Well, how are you?"
  But he would nothing say or do,
  Not even grant, nor bray, nor mew.

  She saw a polly as it flew,
  And showed gay feathers, pink and blue,
  But when she came this bird to woo,
  Poll bit her finger almost through.

  Near to this wicked Polly Chew
  There lived a handsome, large HIBOU,
  Which came from some fine foreign zoo,
  And worked its head round like a screw.

  The camel and the kangaroo,
  With polar bears and brown bears, too,
  And many birds to me quite new,
  All made their home in this great zoo.

  With elephants and tigers, too,
  And a huge lion named KING FOO,
  He paced his cage and said, "Grr--roo!"
  As if he meant, "I will eat you!"

  Near him a dove all pink and blue
  So sweetly sang of love, "Coo--coo,"
  While across the way MONK SNOOPLE SNOO
  Swung by his tail and sneezed "Ca--choo!"




FURS LINED WITH KITTENS


  Said a rich little girl, who was boasting one day,
  "I'ze too many furs, so I throws them away;"
  But her poor little friend, who fine furs had none,
  In braggadocia could not be outdone,
  And proudly she showed her little fur mittens
  And said, "I'ze sum odders, do deys lined wid kittens."




MUCH LEARNING SAVES IGNATIUS


  "Father," said learned Ignatius, as the strap was preparing to fall
  Down on his trousersless bare-skin, "I don't mind a whipping at all,
  But are you quite certain, dear father, the strap has been well
        sterilized?
  For virulent germs in old leather are often concealed and disguised;
  And surely by violent impact with textile and soft porous skin,
  But lately exposed to the street's dust there's danger of entering in
  Upon my most delicate system, and then comes the big doctor's fee,
  So, dear father, show you're a wise man and touch not the strap upon
        me."
  While the learned youth plead, lo! his father upon that dread strap
        loosed his hold,
  And thus he escaped from a whipping, Ignatius the wise and the bold.




TWILIGHT


  Of all the hours of day or night
    Give me the twilight hour,
  When little birds hide out of sight
    And every sylvan bower
  Is filled with their sweet good night song,
    While darkness creeps apace
  O'er all the bright blue sky along
    And hides the sun's gold face.

  That is the hour when Mother dear
    Says, "Come, sweetheart," to me,
  "And of the earth's great heroes hear
    While sitting on my knee."
  Upon her arm I rest my hand
    And wondrous stories hear,
  Until it's time to go to bed,
    Tucked in by Mother dear.




A FIVE-FOOT SHELF OF SUMMER BOOKS


  Whenever you're perspiring like a Gruyère cheese,
  List to this list of cooling works which cannot fail to please:
  Great Isaac Hayes's noted work upon the POLAR SEA,
  How much with him this broiling day we all would like to be!
  Or maybe in the SNOWBOUND realms we'd find still more delight
  If Whittier, the poet great, would take us there to-night.

  With Nansen in his tales of weird and far-off frozen lands,
  Where no one needs be tortured by electric buzzing fans;
  And Barrows' wondrous voyages in icy ARCTIC REGIONS,
  Meeting monstrous icebergs each hour by the legions.
  While each and all would love to get a nice big cooling box
  Of the ARCTIC SUNBEAMS that are mentioned by S. Cox,
  And ICY LANDS by Perry, Kane, Atkinson and Hall,
  Sound so mighty tempting to us one and all.

  Exploring parties to the North led by the hero Schley,
  Oh, such a summer voyage how we would like to try!
  And follow after Wrangell with snow up to our knees
  Across Siberia's lonely plains to far-off NORTHERN SEAS.
  While reading of the ICE FLOATS from Kennan and from Hohn,
  We feel that we should have a shelf all of our very own,
  And on it all these chilly works we there should keep on hand,
  To take us when we're hot and cross to some cool northern land.




THE CAT EXTINCTED THE CANARY


  "Josephine," asked the teacher, "can you tell to me
  Any bird that's now extinct, but used on earth to be?"

  "Oh, yes, Miss Jane," said Josephine, "our sweet canary, Jim,
  Because the naughty pussy cat, she quite extincted him."




A BONY SONG


  Eight and twenty bones, 'tis said,
  Are located in my head.
  In my trunk are fifty-four
  That I add to my bone store;
  While my limbs have plenty more--
  Full one hundred twenty-four.

  In my skull, the strong round box
  Which protects my brains from knocks,
  There are eight bones in its wall--
  Glad I have them when I fall!
  Occipital there is but one;
  One ethmoid and wedge sphenoid one,
  One frontal bone not very long--
  Compared with oak just twice as strong.
  Parietals there are but two,
  Two temporals will also do.

  Fourteen bones are in my face,
  To know them not is a disgrace.
  One lower jaw and upper two
  Help me each day when I must chew.
  Two turbinated shaped like cones,
  Two nasal, malar, palate bones,
  Two lachrymals and vomer one,
  But very large bones there are none.

  The smallest bones are in my ear
  And help me when I wish to hear.
  These bones so small, are hard to see--
  The mallet, anvil, stapes wee.

  My bony trunk it takes good care
  Of all the organs hidden there.
  Its spinal column very long
  Has six and twenty bones so strong.
  Small bones just seven it doth take
