



Produced by David Widger









THE WORKS OF ROBERT G. INGERSOLL

"THE CLERGY KNOW, THAT I KNOW, THAT THEY KNOW, THAT THEY DO NOT KNOW."

IN TWELVE VOLUMES, VOLUME II.

LECTURES

1900

THE DRESDEN EDITION


TO

MRS. SUE. M. FARRELL,

IN LAW MY SISTER,

AND IN FACT MY FRIEND,

THIS VOLUME,

AS A TOKEN OF RESPECT AND LOVE, IS DEDICATED.

CONTENTS OF VOLUME II.

SOME MISTAKES OF MOSES.

(1879.)

Preface--I. He who endeavors to control the Mind by Force is a
Tyrant, and he who submits is a Slave--All I Ask--When a Religion
is Founded--Freedom for the Orthodox Clergy--Every Minister an
Attorney--Submission to the Orthodox and the Dead--Bounden Duty of
the Ministry--The Minister Factory at Andover--II. Free Schools--No
Sectarian Sciences--Religion and the Schools--Scientific
Hypocrites--III. The Politicians and the Churches--IV. Man and Woman the
Highest Possible Titles--Belief Dependent on Surroundings--Worship of
Ancestors--Blindness Necessary to Keeping the Narrow Path--The Bible the
Chain that Binds--A Bible of the Middle Ages and the Awe it Inspired--V.
The Pentateuch--Moses Not the Author--Belief out of which Grew
Religious Ceremonies--Egypt the Source of the Information of Moses--VI.
Monday--Nothing, in the Light of Raw Material--The Story of Creation
Begun--The Same Story, substantially, Found in the Records of Babylon,
Egypt, and India--Inspiration Unnecessary to the Truth--Usefulness of
Miracles to Fit Lies to Facts--Division of Darkness and Light--VII.
Tuesday--The Firmament and Some Biblical Notions about it--Laws of
Evaporation Unknown to the Inspired Writer--VIII. Wednesday--The Waters
Gathered into Seas--Fruit and Nothing to Eat it--Five Epochs in the
Organic History of the Earth--Balance between the Total Amounts of
Animal and Vegetable Life--Vegetation Prior to the Appearance of the
Sun--IX. Thursday--Sun and Moon Manufactured--Magnitude of the Solar
Orb--Dimensions of Some of the Planets--Moses' Guess at the Size of Sun
and Moon--Joshua's Control of the Heavenly Bodies--A Hypothesis Urged
by Ministers--The Theory of "Refraction"--Rev. Henry Morey--Astronomical
Knowledge of Chinese Savants--The Motion of the Earth Reversed by
Jehovah for the Reassurance of Ahaz--"Errors" Renounced by Button--X.
"He made the Stars Also"--Distance of the Nearest Star--XI.
Friday--Whales and Other Living Creatures Produced--XII.
Saturday--Reproduction Inaugurated--XIII. "Let Us Make Man"--Human
Beings Created in the Physical Image and Likeness of God--Inquiry as
to the Process Adopted--Development of Living Forms According to
Evolution--How Were Adam and Eve Created?--The Rib Story--Age of
Man Upon the Earth--A Statue Apparently Made before the World--XIV.
Sunday--Sacredness of the Sabbath Destroyed by the Theory of Vast
"Periods"--Reflections on the Sabbath--XV. The Necessity for a Good
Memory--The Two Accounts of the Creation in Genesis I and II--Order
of Creation in the First Account--Order of Creation in the Second
Account--Fastidiousness of Adam in the Choice of a Helpmeet--Dr.
Adam Clark's Commentary--Dr. Scott's Guess--Dr. Matthew Henry's
Admission--The Blonde and Brunette Problem--The Result of Unbelief and
the Reward of Faith--"Give Him a Harp"--XVI. The Garden--Location of
Eden--The Four Rivers--The Tree of Knowledge--Andover Appealed
To--XVII. The Fall--The Serpent--Dr. Adam Clark Gives a Zoological
Explanation--Dr. Henry Dissents--Whence This Serpent?--XVIII.
Dampness--A Race of Giants--Wickedness of Mankind--An Ark Constructed--A
Universal Flood Indicated--Animals Probably Admitted to the Ark--How Did
They Get There?--Problem of Food and Service--A Shoreless Sea Covered
with Innumerable Dead--Drs. Clark and Henry on the Situation--The Ark
Takes Ground--New Difficulties--Noah's Sacrifice--The Rainbow as a
Memorandum--Babylonian, Egyptian, and Indian Legends of a Flood--XIX.
Bacchus and Babel--Interest Attaching to Noah--Where Did Our First
Parents and the Serpent Acquire a Common Language?--Babel and the
Confusion of Tongues--XX. Faith in Filth--Immodesty of Biblical
Diction--XXI. The Hebrews--God's Promises to Abraham--The Sojourning
of Israel in Egypt--Marvelous Increase--Moses and Aaron--XXII.
The Plagues--Competitive Miracle Working--Defeat of the Local
Magicians--XXIII. The Flight Out of Egypt--Three Million People in a
Desert--Destruction of Pharaoh ana His Host--Manna--A Superfluity of
Quails--Rev. Alexander Cruden's Commentary--Hornets as Allies of the
Israelites--Durability of the Clothing of the Jewish People--An Ointment
Monopoly--Consecration of Priests--The Crime of Becoming a Mother--The
Ten Commandments--Medical Ideas of Jehovah--Character of the God of
the Pentateuch--XXIV. Confess and Avoid--XXV. "Inspired" Slavery--XXVI.
"Inspired" Marriage-XXVII. "Inspired" War-XXVIII. "Inspired" Religious
Liberty--XXIX. Conclusion.

SOME REASONS WHY.

(1881.)

I--Religion makes Enemies--Hatred in the Name of Universal
Benevolence--No Respect for the Rights of Barbarians--Literal
Fulfillment of a New Testament Prophecy--II. Duties to God--Can we
Assist God?--An Infinite Personality an Infinite Impossibility-Ill.
Inspiration--What it Really Is--Indication of Clams--Multitudinous
Laughter of the Sea--Horace Greeley and the Mammoth Trees--A Landscape
Compared to a Table-cloth--The Supernatural is the Deformed--Inspiration
in the Man as well as in the Book--Our Inspired Bible--IV. God's
Experiment with the Jews--Miracles of One Religion never astonish the
Priests of Another--"I am a Liar Myself"--V. Civilized Countries--Crimes
once regarded as Divine Institutions--What the Believer in the
Inspiration of the Bible is Compelled to Say--Passages apparently
written by the Devil--VI. A Comparison of Books--Advancing a Cannibal
from Missionary to Mutton--Contrast between the Utterances of Jehovah
and those of Reputable Heathen--Epictetus, Cicero, Zeno,
Seneca--the Hindu, Antoninus, Marcus Aurelius--The Avesta--VII.
Monotheism--Egyptians before Moses taught there was but One God
and Married but One Wife--Persians and Hindoos had a Single Supreme
Deity--Rights of Roman Women--Marvels of Art achieved without the
Assistance of Heaven--Probable Action of the Jewish Jehovah incarnated
as Man--VIII. The New Testament--Doctrine of Eternal Pain brought to
Light--Discrepancies--Human Weaknesses cannot be Predicated of
Divine Wisdom--Why there are Four Gospels according to Irenaeus--The
Atonement--Remission of Sins under the Mosaic Dispensation--Christians
say, "Charge it"--God's Forgiveness does not Repair an Injury--Suffering
of Innocence for the Guilty--Salvation made Possible by Jehovah's
Failure to Civilize the Jews--Necessity of Belief not taught in the
Synoptic Gospels--Non-resistance the Offspring of Weakness--IX. Christ's
Mission--All the Virtues had been Taught before his Advent--Perfect and
Beautiful Thoughts of his Pagan Predecessors--St. Paul Contrasted
with Heathen Writers--"The Quality of Mercy"--X. Eternal Pain--An
Illustration of Eternal Punishment--Captain Kreuger of the Barque
Tiger--XI. Civilizing Influence of the Bible--Its Effects on the
Jews--If Christ was God, Did he not, in his Crucifixion, Reap what
he had Sown?--Nothing can add to the Misery of a Nation whose King is
Jehovah

ORTHODOXY.

(1884.)

Orthodox Religion Dying Out--Religious Deaths and Births--The Religion
of Reciprocity--Every Language has a Cemetery--Orthodox Institutions
Survive through the Money invested in them--"Let us tell our Real
Names"--The Blows that have Shattered the Shield and Shivered the Lance
of Superstition--Mohammed's Successful Defence of the Sepulchre of
Christ--The Destruction of Art--The Discovery of America--Although
he made it himself, the Holy Ghost was Ignorant of the Form of this
Earth--Copernicus and Kepler--Special Providence--The Man and the Ship
he did not Take--A Thanksgiving Proclamation Contradicted--Charles
Darwin--Henry Ward Beecher--The Creeds--The Latest Creed--God as
a Governor--The Love of God--The Fall of Man--We are Bound
by Representatives without a Chance to Vote against Them--The
Atonement--The Doctrine of Depravity a Libel on the Human Race--The
Second Birth--A Unitarian Universalist--Inspiration of the
Scriptures--God a Victim of his own Tyranny--In the New Testament
Trouble Commences at Death--The Reign of Truth and Love--The Old
Spaniard who Died without an Enemy--The Wars it Brought--Consolation
should be Denied to Murderers--At the Rate at which Heathen are being
Converted, how long will it take to Establish Christ's Kingdom on
Earth?--The Resurrection--The Judgment Day--Pious Evasions--"We shall
not Die, but we shall all be Hanged"--"No Bible, no Civilization"
Miracles of the New Testament--Nothing Written by Christ or his
Contemporaries--Genealogy of Jesus--More Miracles--A Master of
Death--Improbable that he would be Crucified--The Loaves and Fishes--How
did it happen that the Miracles Convinced so Few?--The Resurrection--The
Ascension--Was the Body Spiritual--Parting from the Disciples--Casting
out Devils--Necessity of Belief--God should be consistent in the
Matter of forgiving Enemies--Eternal Punishment--Some Good Men who are
Damned--Another Objection--Love the only Bow on Life's dark Cloud--"Now
is the accepted Time"--Rather than this Doctrine of Eternal Punishment
Should be True--I would rather that every Planet should in its Orbit
wheel a barren Star--What I Believe--Immortality--It existed long before
Moses--Consolation--The Promises are so Far Away, and the Dead are so
Near--Death a Wall or a Door--A Fable--Orpheus and Eurydice.

MYTH AND MIRACLE.

(1885.)

I. Happiness the true End and Aim of Life--Spiritual People and
their Literature--Shakespeare's Clowns superior to Inspired
Writers--Beethoven's Sixth Symphony Preferred to the Five Books of
Moses--Venus of Milo more Pleasing than the Presbyterian Creed--II.
Religions Naturally Produced--Poets the Myth-makers--The Sleeping
Beauty--Orpheus and Eurydice--Red Riding Hood--The Golden Age--Elysian
Fields--The Flood Myth--Myths of the Seasons--III. The Sun-god--Jonah,
Buddha, Chrisnna, Horus, Zoroaster--December 25th as a Birthday of
Gods--Christ a Sun-God--The Cross a Symbol of the Life to Come--When
Nature rocked the Cradle of the Infant World--IV. Difference between
a Myth and a Miracle--Raising the Dead, Past and Present--Miracles
of Jehovah--Miracles of Christ--Everything Told except the Truth--The
Mistake of the World--V. Beginning of Investigation--The Stars as
Witnesses against Superstition--Martyrdom of Bruno--Geology--Steam and
Electricity--Nature forever the Same--Persistence of Force--Cathedral,
Mosque, and Joss House have the same Foundation--Science the
Providence of Man--VI. To Soften the Heart of God--Martyrs--The God was
Silent--Credulity a Vice--Develop the Imagination--"The Skylark" and
"The Daisy"--VII. How are we to Civilize the World?--Put Theology out
of Religion--Divorce of Church and State--Secular Education--Godless
Schools--VIII. The New Jerusalem--Knowledge of the Supernatural
possessed by Savages--Beliefs of Primitive Peoples--Science is
Modest--Theology Arrogant--Torque-mada and Bruno on the Day of
Judgment--IX. Poison of Superstition in the Mother's Milk--Ability
of Mistakes to take Care of Themselves--Longevity of Religious
Lies--Mother's religion pleaded by the Cannibal--The Religion of
Freedom--O Liberty, thou art the God of my Idolatry




PREFACE.

For many years I have regarded the Pentateuch simply as a record of a
barbarous people, in which are found a great number of the ceremonies
of savagery, many absurd and unjust laws, and thousands of ideas
inconsistent with known and demonstrated facts. To me it seemed almost
a crime to teach that this record was written by inspired men; that
slavery, polygamy, wars of conquest and extermination were right, and
that there was a time when men could win the approbation of infinite
Intelligence, Justice, and Mercy, by violating maidens and by butchering
babes. To me it seemed more reasonable that savage men had made these
laws; and I endeavored in a lecture, entitled "Some Mistakes of Moses,"
to point out some of the errors, contradictions, and impossibilities
contained in the Pentateuch. The lecture was never written and
consequently never delivered twice the same. On several occasions it was
reported and published without consent, and without revision. All these
publications were grossly and glaringly incorrect As published, they
have been answered several hundred times, and many of the clergy are
still engaged in the great work. To keep these reverend gentlemen from
wasting their talents on the mistakes of reporters and printers, I
concluded to publish the principal points in all my lectures on this
subject. And here, it may be proper for me to say, that arguments cannot
be answered by personal abuse; that there is no logic in slander, and
that falsehood, in the long run, defeats itself. People who love their
enemies should, at least, tell the truth about their friends. Should it
turn out that I am the worst man in the whole world, the story of the
flood will remain just as improbable as before, and the contradictions
of the Pentateuch will still demand an explanation.

There was a time when a falsehood, fulminated from the pulpit, smote
like a sword; but, the supply having greatly exceeded the demand,
clerical misrepresentation has at last become almost an innocent
amusement. Remembering that only a few years ago men, women, and even
children, were imprisoned, tortured and burned, for having expressed
in an exceedingly mild and gentle way, the ideas entertained by me, I
congratulate myself that calumny is now the pulpit's last resort. The
old instruments of torture are kept only to gratify curiosity; the
chains are rusting away, and the demolition of time has allowed even the
dungeons of the Inquisition to be visited by light. The church, impotent
and malicious, regrets, not the abuse, but the loss of her power, and
seeks to hold by falsehood what she gained by cruelty and force, by
fire and fear. Christianity cannot live in peace with any other form of
faith. If that religion be true, there is but one savior, one inspired
book, and but one little narrow grass-grown path that leads to heaven.
Such a religion is necessarily uncompromising, unreasoning, aggressive
and insolent. Christianity has held all other creeds and forms in
infinite contempt, divided the world into enemies and friends, and
verified the awful declaration of its founder--a declaration that
wet with blood the sword he came to bring, and made the horizon of a
thousand years lurid with the fagots' flames.

Too great praise challenges attention, and often brings to light a
thousand faults that otherwise the general eye would never see. Were we
allowed to read the Bible as we do all other books, we would admire its
beauties, treasure its worthy thoughts, and account for all its absurd,
grotesque and cruel things, by saying that its authors lived in rude,
barbaric times. But we are told that it was written by inspired men;
that it contains the will of God; that it is perfect, pure, and true in
all its parts; the source and standard of all moral and religious truth;
that it is the star and anchor of all human hope; the only guide for
man, the only torch in Nature's night. These claims are so at variance
with every known recorded fact, so palpably absurd, that every free
unbiased soul is forced to raise the standard of revolt.

We read the pagan sacred books with profit and delight. With myth and
fable we are ever charmed, and find a pleasure in the endless repetition
of the beautiful, poetic, and absurd. We find, in all these records of
the past, philosophies and dreams, and efforts stained with tears,
of great and tender souls who tried to pierce the mystery of life and
death, to answer the eternal questions of the Whence and Whither, and
vainly sought to make, with bits of shattered glass, a mirror that
would, in very truth, reflect the face and form of Nature's perfect
self.

These myths were born of hopes, and fears, and tears, and smiles, and
they were touched and  by all there is of joy and grief between
the rosy dawn of birth, and deaths sad night. They clothed even the
stars with passion, and gave to gods the faults and frailties of the
sons of men. In them, the winds and waves were music, and all the lakes,
and streams, and springs,--the mountains, woods and perfumed dells were
haunted by a thousand fairy forms. They thrilled the veins of Spring
with tremulous desire; made tawny Summer's billowed breast the throne
and home of love; filled Autumn's arms with sun-kissed grapes, and
gathered sheaves; and pictured Winter as a weak old king who felt,
like Lear upon his withered face, Cordelia's tears. These myths, though
false, are beautiful, and have for many ages and in countless ways,
enriched the heart and kindled thought. But if the world were taught
that all these things are true and all inspired of God, and that eternal
punishment will be the lot of him who dares deny or doubt, the sweetest
myth of all the Fable World would lose its beauty, and become a scorned
and hateful thing to every brave and thoughtful man.

Robert G. Ingersoll.

Washington, D. C., Oct. 7th, 1879.




SOME MISTAKES OF MOSES.

HE WHO ENDEAVORS TO CONTROL THE MIND BY FORCE IS A TYRANT, AND HE WHO
SUBMITS IS A SLAVE.

I.

