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THE WOULDBEGOODS

[Illustration:

See p. 47

"'AND PATRIOTIC,' SAID HE"]




_THE WOULDBEGOODS_

BY E. NESBIT

ILLUSTRATED BY

REGINALD B. BIRCH

[Illustration]

HARPER & BROTHERS PUBLISHERS
NEW YORK AND LONDON


Copyright, 1900, 1901, by EDITH NESBIT BLAND.

_All rights reserved._

September, 1901.


TO

MY DEAR SON

FABIAN BLAND




CONTENTS


                                                              PAGE

THE JUNGLE                                                       1

THE WOULDBEGOODS                                                20

BILL'S TOMBSTONE                                                43

THE TOWER OF MYSTERY                                            63

THE WATER-WORKS                                                 86

THE CIRCUS                                                     111

BEING BEAVERS; OR, THE YOUNG EXPLORERS (ARCTIC OR OTHERWISE)   135

THE HIGH-BORN BABE                                             159

HUNTING THE FOX                                                178

THE SALE OF ANTIQUITIES                                        201

THE BENEVOLENT BAR                                             224

THE CANTERBURY PILGRIMS                                        243

THE DRAGON'S TEETH; OR, ARMY-SEED                              267

ALBERT'S UNCLE'S GRANDMOTHER; OR, THE LONG-LOST                292




ILLUSTRATIONS


"'AND PATRIOTIC,' SAID HE"                         _Frontispiece_

"WE LET THE HOSE PLAY PERSEVERINGLY"               _Facing p._ 16

"'LITTLE BEASTS!' SAID DICK"                           "       30

"DENNY HELD ALICE'S AND NOEL'S HANDS"                  "       84

"DICKY DRAGGED THE TWO HEAVY BARS"                     "       98

"'OH, DEAR! OH, DEAR!'"                                "      104

"HE SAT DOWN IN THE HEDGE TO LAUGH PROPERLY"           "      128

"FOUND HIMSELF THE DEGRADED NURSE-MAID
OF A SMALL BUT FURIOUS KID"                            "      172

"'WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?'"                               "      192

"THEN WE PUT IN THE JUGS AND FILLED
IT UP WITH EARTH"                                      "      212

"'I THINK YOU MUST LET ME LOOK INSIDE'"                "      222

"OSWALD ACTUALLY HIT OUT AT THE BIG MAN"               "      240

"A DOG-CART WITH A YOUNG LADY IN IT"                   "      256

"SO WE LED HIM ALONG TO THE AMBUSH"                    "      282

THE COUNCIL IN THE APPLE-TREE                          "      292

"'AND ARE YOU GOING TO MARRY THIS LADY?'"              "      304




THE WOULDBEGOODS




THE JUNGLE


"Children are like jam: all very well in the proper place, but you can't
stand them all over the shop--eh, what?"

These were the dreadful words of our Indian uncle. They made us feel
very young and angry; and yet we could not be comforted by calling him
names to ourselves, as you do when nasty grown-ups say nasty things,
because he is not nasty, but quite the exact opposite when not
irritated. And we could not think it ungentlemanly of him to say we were
like jam, because, as Alice says, jam is very nice indeed--only not on
furniture and improper places like that. My father said, "Perhaps they
had better go to boarding-school." And that was awful, because we know
father disapproves of boarding-schools. And he looked at us and said, "I
am ashamed of them, sir!"

Your lot is indeed a dark and terrible one when your father is ashamed
of you. And we all knew this, so that we felt in our chests just as if
we had swallowed a hard-boiled egg whole. At least, this is what Oswald
felt, and father said once that Oswald, as the eldest, was the
representative of the family, so, of course, the others felt the same.

And then everybody said nothing for a short time. At last father said:

"You may go--but remember--" The words that followed I am not going to
tell you. It is no use telling you what you know before--as they do in
schools. And you must all have had such words said to you many times. We
went away when it was over. The girls cried, and we boys got out books
and began to read, so that nobody should think we cared. But we felt it
deeply in our interior hearts, especially Oswald, who is the eldest and
the representative of the family.

We felt it all the more because we had not really meant to do anything
wrong. We only thought perhaps the grown-ups would not be quite pleased
if they knew, and that is quite different. Besides, we meant to put all
the things back in their proper places when we had done with them before
any one found out about it. But I must not anticipate (that means
telling the end of a story before the beginning. I tell you this because
it is so sickening to have words you don't know in a story, and to be
told to look it up in the dicker).

We are the Bastables--Oswald, Dora, Dicky, Alice, Noel, and H. O. If you
want to know why we call our youngest brother H. O. you can jolly well
read _The Treasure Seekers_ and find out. We were the Treasure Seekers,
and we sought it high and low, and quite regularly, because we
particularly wanted to find it. And at last we did not find it, but we
were found by a good, kind Indian uncle, who helped father with his
business, so that father was able to take us all to live in a jolly big
red house on Blackheath, instead of in the Lewisham Road, where we lived
when we were only poor but honest Treasure Seekers. When we were poor
but honest we always used to think that if only father had plenty of
business, and we did not have to go short of pocket-money and wear
shabby clothes (I don't mind this myself, but the girls do), we should
be quite happy and very, very good.

And when we were taken to the beautiful big Blackheath house we thought
now all would be well, because it was a house with vineries and
pineries, and gas and water, and shrubberies and stabling, and replete
with every modern convenience, like it says in Dyer & Hilton's list of
Eligible House Property. I read all about it, and I have copied the
words quite right.

It is a beautiful house, all the furniture solid and strong, no casters
off the chairs, and the tables not scratched, and the silver not dented;
and lots of servants, and the most decent meals every day--and lots of
pocket-money.

But it is wonderful how soon you get used to things, even the things you
want most. Our watches, for instance. We wanted them frightfully; but
when I had had mine a week or two, after the mainspring got broken and
was repaired at Bennett's in the village, I hardly cared to look at the
works at all, and it did not make me feel happy in my heart any more,
though, of course, I should have been very unhappy if it had been taken
away from me. And the same with new clothes and nice dinners and having
enough of everything. You soon get used to it all, and it does not make
you extra happy, although, if you had it all taken away, you would be
very dejected. (That is a good word, and one I have never used before.)
You get used to everything, as I said, and then you want something more.
Father says this is what people mean by the deceitfulness of riches; but
Albert's uncle says it is the spirit of progress, and Mrs. Leslie said
some people called it "divine discontent." Oswald asked them all what
they thought, one Sunday at dinner. Uncle said it was rot, and what we
wanted was bread and water and a licking; but he meant it for a joke.
This was in the Easter holidays.

We went to live at Morden House at Christmas. After the holidays the
girls went to the Blackheath High School, and we boys went to the Prop.
(that means the Proprietary School). And we had to swot rather during
term; but about Easter we knew the deceitfulness of riches in the vac.,
when there was nothing much on, like pantomimes and things. Then there
was the summer term, and we swotted more than ever; and it was boiling
hot, and masters' tempers got short and sharp, and the girls used to
wish the exams, came in cold weather. I can't think